The Prodigal Brother
by Raliena
Summary: Seven years ago the Mariamaia Revolt failed. Seven years ago Duo Maxwell vanished. The other Pilots are still searching for him. Why did he leave? Is he still alive? The questions remain unanswered. Seven years and counting.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

This story was inspired and the first few chapters heavily influenced by cHixOr Neko's work, titled "Sunrise, Come Again"

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Quatre's POV

Seven years. Duo had been missing for seven years. No message. No sightings. Nothing. He'd just vanished. He'd left my estate about a month after the Marimia incident. He'd left nearly everything behind. The only things he took with him were his weapons, his stealth kit and maybe a change of clothes. He'd even left his cross. I'd never seen him take the cross off before. Allah, I had barely even seen it before, unless I was bandaging wounds. He usually kept it around his neck, underneath a top. And he had left it behind. If that didn't say a great deal about his mental state, I didn't know what would. It had been left on top of a one line note:

'I'm sorry.'

Heero had found it. I'd given him the room next to Duo. He'd noticed that Duo hadn't come down for breakfast, and had gone to wake him. I only realized when I felt Heero's shock, followed by grief and then anger; finally overwhelming loss.

"He's gone." Were Heero's first words to me as I crossed the threshold to Duo's room; Trowa and Wufei were right behind me. "He left his cross."

"When did he leave?" I whispered.

"Why?" Wufei demanded, "Didn't he leave any indicator?"

"Nothing." Heero answered.

"He didn't act like he was going to leave." Trowa pointed out.

"I'm going to find him." Heero declared, "I am going to find him and drag him home. Kicking and screaming if I have to. He does _not_ get to run away!"

"And we'll help you." I agreed.

Seven years since that day. We miss him. Heero most of all. I think he'd been on the verge of trying to start a relationship with Duo. He was certainly that way inclined. And I wouldn't have said that Duo would have been uninterested. But that was then.

I know for a fact that Heero runs a search for Duo every month using the Preventers' computer system. It had been weekly, but Lady Une had protested against the use after six months. There are also electronic flags on each of Duo's bank accounts, including his hidden ones from during the war. Or at least all those we could find. He hasn't used the money.

He hasn't contacted the Sweepers. Howard hasn't heard from him. The Maganacs haven't seen hide nor hair of him. It is like Duo had just disappeared that night.

All I really want is an explanation. No… That isn't the only thing I want. I want to see him again. To have my big brother back. For him to tease Wufei about marrying Sally in a 'white wedding'. For him to try to make Trowa laugh at every opportunity. To break into my office, just to drag me out for a meal; and scare the security staff every… single… time. For Heero to relax more.

I could tell that the others feel guilty. We'd become much closer since Duo had vanished. Not because he wasn't there to interfere… But because we were almost _scared _of losing anyone else.

We had finally realized what Duo had been offering each of us. Friendship. No strings attached. And we wanted it. So we found it in each other. But we were still missing one piece. We need Duo to complete us.

Lady Une has been dropping subtle hints for about three years that we should stop looking. That we should just declare Duo legally dead. But we can't do that. I know he is alive. I would know if he was dead. Sometimes I feel an emotion from my 'Space Heart' that I know is not mine or anyone else's. It _feels_ like Duo, for lack of a better explanation.

I almost thought he would turn up for Wufei's wedding. I know Heero was expecting him to come, despite everything. And I can't say that he wasn't there. I'm not sure if it was my imagination or not, but I could almost feel him smiling and cheering. I could have sworn I heard his voice as they kissed:

"That's how you do it, Wuffers. You hang onto her."

Seven years, and not a word. Heero and Wufei both work for the Preventers. The top two agents. A greater closure ratio than anyone else. Trowa, technically, is in charge of my security. But our relationship goes deeper than that. I, of course, am still running Winner Enterprises. I donate money to orphanages and other child related charities. I don't know, I think I'm hoping that if I visit enough of them, I'll find Duo hiding out at one.

I haven't moved since Duo disappeared. I still use the same estate as my main residence. Sure, I go on small trips to various places, but the house is always staffed. And every member of staff has a standing order that if Duo Maxwell turns up, I am to be contacted _immediately_ no matter where I am, or what I am doing. If I have to be woken up, I don't care. If I have to come back from holiday or an important negotiation, I don't care. Family comes first. Whether it is family by blood or spirit. Duo taught me that. The staff also knows that if Duo turns up, he is to be tended to. The Maganacs joke that if Duo turns up and tries to leave again, before I see him, they will break his legs. At least, I hope they're joking. Although if got Duo to stay… I shouldn't be thinking that.

I remember during the Eve War, Duo and I had to hide from OZ while on L4. I thought it would be so _easy_. Just hide out in one of my family houses. Just keep our heads down. But somehow OZ was checking everywhere. I didn't even think about the fact that they knew Duo's face. Allah, it had been plastered on every vid-screen and there were _still_ posters up.

"I can't stay here." Duo told me to my face, "They'll find me. And then they'll find you."

"We're supposed to stick together." I countered. Indeed those were our orders.

"Well, I can't let them rumble you, little bro." Duo shrugged, "So either I don't leave this house and I hide from your staff… One of which, at least, is undercover OZ. Or you come with me. I know some places where we can hide."

"I'll come with you." I declared, "They shouldn't have worked out my identity, but it is possible."

"Cattie," he looked at me seriously, "If you do this, you're going to have to do what I say, when I say it. No arguments. We're lucky this is L4. I wouldn't even think about doing this on L2."

"I'm not tough enough?" I asked, slightly indignant.

"_I_ know you're tough enough." Duo shrugged, "But to street-eyes… You're prey. I wouldn't do it with the others either. Heero and Wufei scream predator. Even Trowa is too much predator for the streets. I'm just right. Like that story about Goldilocks. I'm sort of prey with an edge. I know the rules."

"What do I do?"

We hid out on the streets for a week, before the next mission came in. The whole of that week, Duo protected me from the brutalities of the streets. He didn't think I noticed that although I always had enough to eat, Duo was often sacrificing at least part of his portion of food for me. And that was only the smallest of the sacrifices he made for my sake.

That was the main difference between the two of us. I wanted to introduce him to my world. I wanted to watch him find his way among the people in my world. I wanted my world to see what I saw in him. He wanted to protect me from his world. He did not want me 'tainted' with his world. His words, not mine.

But I still could not work out why Duo would leave. He had seemed so _happy_ around us. It wasn't just a mask. He really was happy. The day he left, he wasn't happy. But I didn't call him on it. I had a date with Trowa. What if I had? What if I had asked him why? I should of. But it was only one day of sadness mixed with determination. I should have known that something was wrong.

But life had to continue. So it went on. I still went to work. I still sat behind a massive desk and dealt with the affairs of Winner Enterprises.

It was seven years and about one week after Duo had vanished when I received a very strange call.

"Mister Winner?" There was a police-man on my vid-screen, utilizing my private line.

"Yes?"

"I'm Detective Wilks of the L3 police," the man seemed embarrassed, "And you are recorded as next-of-kin of a person whom I can't imagine you being associated with. However as he has become involved in a recent case…"

"Just provide me with the name," I smiled, "I know every person who should have me as next-of-kin. So I should be able to inform you as to whether this person is a liar or not."

"Alright," Wilks shrugged, "But I highly doubt you'd know him. It's a Mister Maxwell."

"Duo?" I could have sworn my heart stopped beating, "Duo Maxwell? He's there?"

"You know him?"

"Allah!" My breaths were ragged now, "He's practically my brother! What's his involvement? Where is he? Can I talk to him? Is he alright?"

"I'm afraid I can't discuss details of an ongoing case on the phone." Wilks seemed apologetic, as well as quite startled by my reaction.

"Give me a number to contact you at and the address of the police station." I demanded, "Please. I'll be on the next available shuttle to L3."

Wilks rattled off the information, more in shock than anything else. I suppose I was being a bit more forceful than my reputation. But this was a tip off about Duo!

"Belinda," I opened the door of my office to speak to my secretary, "Please cancel all the rest of today's appointments. I have urgent family matters to attend to. Also call the Space-port and have them ready my shuttle for a trip to L3, asap."

"Yes, Mister Winner." Belinda nodded.

"That's Quatre, Belinda." I responded automatically, my heart not really in it.

"Quatre?" Trowa emerged from the security office, "What's going on?"

"There's news of Duo," I was almost floating, "On L3."

"You're sure?" Trowa lost his famous grace and nearly tripped over his feet. I had to fight the urge to giggle. I haven't giggled in years. I've laughed. But I've not giggled since Duo left.

"The police contacted me." I nodded, "He's gotten involved in a case. Only they won't give me any more details."

"I'll call Wufei." Trowa stated, "You call Heero."

"Do I have to?" I almost whined, "He'll kill himself driving to the space-port."

"And if you don't," Trowa countered, "He'll kill you. I'll try and get Wufei to drive."

I was still walking towards the car, Trowa right behind me. We both pulled out our mobiles and pressed speed dials.

I know for a fact that speed dial 2 on every phone we Pilots own was blank. That number is reserved for when Duo came home. It sounds funny, but a lot of things are waiting for Duo when he comes home. I'd left his room just as he had done, only one thing was different. Where there used to be a pile of dirty laundry, there is now a pile of presents. Presents I and the others have bought him over the years.

"Yuy." Heero answered the phone bluntly.

"Promise me you'll let Wufei drive." Probably not the best thing to say in retrospect.

"Winner?" Heero growled.

"Space-port," I decided just to give the pertinent information, "My shuttle. Going to L3. News about Duo."

"Mission Accepted." He hung up.

"He just dragged Wufei out of the office." Trowa informed me, as he put his phone away.

"We're going to need to make good time if we're going to beat those two to the shuttle." I realized, even as we entered the car.

The grilling I got from Heero before we'd even taken off from the space-port, made me think twice about having contacted him in the first place. I knew he was going to be insufferable for the entire flight. I was really regretting not having taken the extra moment to copy the recording of the conversation so that I could present it to Heero to pour over. He spent most of the flight trying to hack into L3's police records to try and identify the case Duo was involved in. But to no avail. Hacking without a solid connection isn't the easiest. Even for the Perfect Soldier.

We still had no clue, when we finally arrived at the police station. A quick explanation of why we were there got us shown through to Wilks' office.

"Mister Winner…" He rose from his desk, "And friends?"

"I may be Duo's next of kin," I smiled, "On all official records. But these are also his brothers. Duo has been missing for seven years. This is the first news we've had of him."

"I was hoping that you would know how to contact him." Wilks sighed. I felt the sharp spike of anger and grief that his words caused, "You see, he's our chief suspect in a double homicide."

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Good? Bad?

Please inform me.

After much deliberation I have decided to keep this story posted here. At least for the mean time. While I have been accused of plagerism, I have consulted with the other author, cHixOr Neko, and they said: "If you believe you plagarised then you should remove the story. I think we both know where I stand on the issue of whether or not those chapters were almost identical. What you do is your decision."

My decision to leave this story here. I reserve the right to pull this story at any point... But for now it remains.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Wufei's POV

There was a moment of silence. I thought that Quatre had stopped breathing. I know that Heero did. Trowa almost looked shocked.

"Maxwell wouldn't do that." I heard my voice say, without any input from my brain. "What evidence do you have?"

"It's not as bad as it sounds." Wilks sounded nervous. Not that I could blame him, tougher men had quailed under Yuy Death Glare.

"How can it be any better?" Heero growled.

"From the evidence we've got," Wilks was almost stammering. I had to give him points for not retreating behind his desk again. "It appears that Mister Maxwell came to the aid of a woman, and probably prevented her from being raped."

"Explain." Trowa stated, his voice cold.

"The two dead men," Wilks leant against his desk slightly, "Are well known to us as possible rapists. However none of their surviving victims have been willing to testify. And there has been nothing beyond circumstantial evidence. A few of the rape victims have turned up dead, either killed just after the act or after they stated they were willing to co-operate with inquiries."

"How does Maxwell fit in?" I pressed, "He would defend a woman in such need. But I fail to see what evidence you have to bring him into the picture."

"Two pints of blood matching his DNA at the scene." A woman walked into the office, "Dani Messer."

"Two pints?" Quatre whispered. I could see him paling.

"As long as he is fit and healthy, he shouldn't be at any real risk." Messer smiled, "Although I am worried that he has not checked himself into any hospitals."

"Duo is used to patching himself up." Heero stated, after a moment, "It is possible that he is not seeking treatment."

"That would make finding him more difficult." Messer conceded. "In which case, finding the witness just became more urgent."

"There was a witness?" I pressed.

"We have footage of a young woman," Wilks announced, "She enters the alleyway followed by the men. She is the only one who emerges. We have no footage of Mister Maxwell, either before or after the incident."

"May we see the footage?" Quatre asked, "We know Duo far better than you could hope to. We may spot him."

"I'll take anything." Wilks shrugged, "I've been trying to get these scum off the streets for months. And now I have to investigate their murder? Some days I hate my job. Here."

Wilks grabbed a remote and pressed a few buttons, to bring up an image on the screen behind his desk, which had previously been masquerading as a painting.

"It's pretty grainy." Messer apologized, "But since it's only a security camera in downtown, it's pretty good."

As the image started to play, Wilks pointed to one figure.

"That's our witness. And our near rape victim. If only we could find her."

"You won't." I replied, "_That's_ Maxwell."

"She's got long hair!" Wilks protested.

"This is the most recent photo we have of Duo." Quatre pulled one from his wallet, "As you can see, he has a braid, which is extremely long." I recognised the photo; Abdul had taken it at the small party Quatre had held just after the Marimia incident. I had one tucked into my wallet, behind the credit cards where no-one could see it.

"Okay," Wilks was still in shock, "Dani?"

"I'll change the APW." Messer nodded, "From female to male. At least that explains why we couldn't find any female blood."

"What do you mean?" Heero turned on her.

"At the end of the clip," Messer pointed to the screen, "As Maxwell leaves the alleyway."

The footage was clear enough. Duo walked down the street, before entering an alleyway. Two men, both clearly much larger and broader than Duo, obviously at least partially drunk followed him. After a few minutes Duo emerged from the alleyway both hands pressed on his chest. He was almost doubled over.

"Previous victims who were killed during the act," Wilks stated, as Messer left to update the APW, "Were killed with a knife. We believe that is what injured Maxwell."

"He's had worse." Quatre seemed to be comforting himself more than trying to comfort anyone else.

"How were the two men killed?" I asked.

"Knives." Wilks answered, "One had his carotid artery cut and the other had a punctured lung along with several other cuts and stabs. It would appear that Maxwell got lucky with the first man, and had a bit of a fight with the second."

"No," Heero shook his head, "The second man got lucky. Duo has the best dagger work in the Sphere."

"Could I have a copy of this?" I pressed. "The Preventers have a great deal of extra resources available. I can't promise anything, but we might be able to clean this up."

"I doubt you'll be able to do much more." Wilks told me, "But you may have a copy."

"Thank you." I nodded in acceptance. Now I would have something to throw at my partner when he started getting depressed about not finding Duo. It would… give him hope. I had had to endure a great deal from Heero. I understood his pain in some way. It was similar to what I had felt when Merian died. Only every day there was hope that Duo might return that day. Every day that hope was dashed.

Personally I was torn between wanting to hug Duo when he turned up and wanting to kill him for putting us through this. The constant hope. It was a burden and painful. But to put it down was unthinkable. I had had an extra place setting laid for Duo at my wedding only two years ago. And even though we had not heard from him… I was still crushed when he failed to turn up. He had _better_ have a good reason for this, when he did turn up.

"Well," Messer entered again, "I updated the APW and got a little research done. We have six cold cases involving raped and murdered men. They were all effeminate and killed in a more brutal fashion than the women who were killed during the act. Spence caught me looking them up and mentioned that if the killers were the same men as we currently have in the morgue, they probably felt betrayed that the men looked like women and were getting some sort of revenge for making them feel like homosexuals. There was a lot of psycho-babble that I didn't understand involved, but that's what it boils down to. You want more details you endure Spence's rambling."

"Psycho-babble?" Quatre frowned.

"Doctor Spencer." Wilks replied, "Has doctorates in things I'll never understand, including psychology and sociology. We're running a trial program to see if having a psychologist on hand can help eliminate suspects and find the criminal. So far… it seems to be working."

"So, considering everything," I spoke up, "It is likely that Maxwell would be acquitted due to self defence?"

"Considering that we found two knives and a gun in the dead men's possession," Wilks nodded, "Perfectly reasonable. The problem is… we need to arrest him and charge him to get the acquittal. As well as his statement. We can _assume_ self-defence, but until he confirms it…"

"You won't find him." Heero spoke up, "We're his best friends. We've been looking for seven years, nine days. We still haven't found him."

"He's that good?" Messer stared.

"He's from L2's streets." I knew they would understand that. "L2's streets" was practically code for the best of the best when it came to evading law enforcement personnel.

"Literal or metaphorical?" Wilks pressed. A good question. Some people were described as being from "L2's streets", but they were never as good as the real thing. Even an honest, honourable, law abiding citizen from L2 knew more about evasion than most hardened criminals from everywhere else. At least, they did if they had been around before the Eve War.

"Literal." Quatre supplied, "Survivor of the Maxwell Massacre."

"Ooo-kay!" Messer breathed, "We're screwed then."

"That bad, Dani?" Wilks stared.

"I'm from L2," Messer explained, "I attended a school close to the Maxwell Church and Orphanage. If he attended there… he was a street kid. Add in the braid… And he must have been the Demon."

"The Demon?" Quatre stared.

"There was a kid a couple of years below me." Messer shrugged, "Violet eyes. Brown hair. Always in a braid. Wore priest clothes. Protective of the other orphanage kids. You never picked on an orphan when he was around. I heard he put bigger kids in hospital. You could get him to fight you if you hurt an orphan, insulted the Sister or Father Maxwell, or if you just kept on insulting him. I never knew his real name. But everyone called him Maxwell's Demon. He vanished after the Massacre. The opinion was that he died."

"That was Duo." Trowa stated.

"How do you…?" Quatre frowned.

"We compared history." Trowa was blunt, "There were similarities."

"Nightmares?" Heero pressed.

"Yes." Trowa nodded, "The anniversary."

"That would do it." Messer agreed, "Even I have nightmares about that. Nearly three hundred dead. And the never ending mystery."

"Mystery?" Quatre was distracted, otherwise he never would have queried it.

"Why the blazes there was a Mobile Suit on the back of a truck parked in the street." Messer declared, "No one has ever come up with a reasonable explanation."

I know how to read Trowa after all these years. The way his face seemed to lock down, even if it was subtle; he knew. I hoped that Heero wouldn't take it badly that Trowa knew part of Duo's history that Heero did not. That Duo had confided in Trowa. It looked like I was due for a depressed Heero. Nataku, I hated those. I hoped that Trowa would reveal what he knew later. Otherwise, Heero would either get violent or lock himself in a room for at least twenty four hours. The problem was I could see why Trowa had not said anything. Trowa was honourable. What was discussed between him and Duo was obviously private and personal. Keeping it secret was the honourable thing to do. However keeping potentially vital information secret from his comrades was dishonourable. Catch-22.

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Good? Bad?

Please inform me.

This chapter is only being posted so quickly as I had written a few chapters before I started posting. Do not expect such rapid posting in the future. However I am amazed at receiving eight Reviews, one Favourite and nineteen Alerts in just over twenty four hours. I think it's a personal record for a starting chapter. Thank you all.

Windwraith – This soon enough?

grey-shadow-horse – I'm not sure how angsty this story will get, but I intend to have a happy ending. And Duo dying? … Well that would be telling.

Wind Dancer1981 – Thanks for the compliment

Yamiyugi – My intention is to have each chapter told from a different view-point. How long this lasts… I don't know. I'll see how I do.

Mica – What are the 'Duo-running-away' sterotypes? I've only met two stories in that area… One is abandoned and was my inspiration for this. The other I'm waiting on a new chapter. Both are completely different… Hang on, there was a third. But I again, it's got nothing to do with this story.

Anonymous Void – Which way do you think I'm going? And as for Duo… Well, six of one and half a dozen of the other, I think.

Katerina Shinigami – Continuing at your request. I wouldn't exactly call this a 'murder/mystery' fic. At least… not for this murder. Wait and see. I have a plot! And I am following it until the bunny runs out.

Seithr-Kaiyr – You want good Duo fics? Look up Sunhawk sometime. Her Ion and Road-Trip Arcs are _amazing_! And KH? Caffeine is hard to find when you're dealing with an addict.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Heero's POV

When we left the police station there wasn't any discussion about where we were going next. The alleyway.

"He knew he was being followed." Wufei declared.

"No way he didn't," Quatre agreed, "He was tense as well. I've only seen him like that when I turned up to help him out on a solo mission, and …"

"And when?" I pressed. Damn it! I needed to know. Duo was out there somewhere. This wasn't a guess anymore. He had been alive less than three days ago. This was the closest I had ever gotten to him in seven years and nine days.

"And when he hid and protected me on the backstreets of L4." Quatre whispered. "I shouldn't have needed it. It was L4! L4's supposed to be safe!"

"There are backstreets everywhere." Trowa laid a gentle arm across Quatre's shoulders, "Duo once told me that he grew up in what he called 'The Shades'. Even the worst of backstreets anywhere else, don't compare to the main streets of L2 at its height."

"Hell in the heavens." I murmured. Duo had said that once. I don't think he knew I heard it. Someone had called him an angel. They had said he must have come from heaven. Duo had muttered:

'Only if there is hell in the heavens.'

But he was an angel. He rescued me. Not just the hospital. But from the world I had locked myself in. It was easier not to care. It was easier not to have emotions. It was easier not to hurt. But with his smiles and his laughter, he found me in the darkness. And he dragged me into the light… No, not dragged. I followed him willingly. I followed him trying to grab hold of his braid and strangle him with it. At least, at first. But as I chased him… As the darkness turned to grey… As I started feeling again… I followed him to hold his hand… to stoke his braid. To see his smile. To hear his laugh.

"Good choice." Trowa remarked, looking around the alley.

"Yes," Wufei nodded, "Fire-escape. Fence. Lots of hiding places. Not too narrow. Nor too wide. He's not lost his touch."

"No," Quatre argued, "He should have been able to escape. Back in the War, he would have lost them. He wouldn't have needed to kill them. Or if he had had to… He wouldn't have gotten hurt."

"Time it." I was blunt. I saw the glances between the others. I'd done it again. Reverted back to my War persona. Retreated to that dark place. Duo. Why did you run? Why did you leave me like this? So close to normal, but not quite there.

"Men." Wufei called.

"Duo." Trowa stated.

The pair of the re-enacted what could have happened. It wasn't perfect. Duo is much faster than Trowa. At least he was. But Trowa is the closest we have to Duo's speed. Although his extra height means that he is incapable of performing some of Duo's wriggling acts. It also means that Duo is incapable of vaulting the fence at the back of the alley. However Quatre was in place to substitute. The closest we have to Duo's height. Slower in his scrambling movements certainly, but Duo has scrambled over and under things most of his life. There was no way that Quatre could come anywhere close to Duo's speed.

Even so, Quatre was over the fence, moments before Wufei entered the alleyway.

We repeated the experiment, using different methods of evasion. Every single time, Duo had time to get away… No, the _old_ Duo would have had time. The old Duo wouldn't have gotten seriously hurt.

I didn't know this new Duo. But he was as close as I could get to my Duo. I would find him. And I would bring the old Duo out of this new Duo.

"I see the problem." Wufei called out, from the limo. He was replaying the grainy video clip again.

"What is it?" Quatre cocked his head to one side.

"Look at his face," Wufei indicated, "His posture. He's battle-weary. It's like he's on a long solo mission."

"He's on guard." Trowa nodded, "And has been for a long time."

"He's exhausted." I breathed.

"He's probably not been eating properly." Quatre put in, "We can't see it, because he's wearing bulky clothing. But he never eats well when on a solo mission."

"He doesn't sleep well during solo missions, either." I supplied, "Never more than an hour at a time."

"Sleep deprived," Wufei started listing, "Malnourished. Probably slightly drunk, made worse by the malnourishment. Battle-weary."

"It's a miracle we didn't come here to retrieve Duo's body." Trowa was blunt. He ignored Quatre's gasp of anger… I think. I never was too good at interpreting gasps of emotion.

There was one other possibility, one that none of us would dare vocalize. The possibility that Duo deliberately let himself get caught. That Duo had set an ambush was not considered. For if it had been an ambush, he would not have gotten hurt. No, Duo could have let himself get caught and intended to die.

"He's right." Wufei nodded, oblivious to my train of thought, "It's an injustice that Maxwell has been reduced to this. What has that _idiot_ been doing?"

"And why hasn't he come home?" Quatre voiced the question I wanted answered.

"It is possible," Trowa kept a level voice, "That Duo believes that he cannot. Or that he would not be welcome."

"Alright Barton," I growled, "What do you know?"

"Heero is right," Wufei nodded, "I feel you know more about Maxwell's past than you have revealed to us."

"Trowa?" Quatre pressed gently.

"Duo and I," Trowa spoke softly, "Have similar pasts. In some ways a band of mercenaries are very much like a street rat gang. Duo didn't tell me everything. I don't know who was the leader of his gang up till The Plague. But I do know that Duo was afterwards. I know he didn't have a name before then. I don't know if he did the same as me and took his name from a dead person.

"I do know that he got desperate for food. He couldn't feed those in his care. So he organised a raid on an Alliance base, for the food storage locker."

That was pure Duo. Nothing is impossible. Always keep on trying. Always reaching for the stars. And somehow managing to grab them. Despite the odds. He should have never found Wing. He should never have managed to finish the upgrades to Deathscythe with only scrap-yard junk for parts. He should never have managed to reach my heart. But he managed.

"How old was he?" Wufei demanded.

"He doesn't know." Trowa shrugged, "But I think he was six or seven. The guards opened fire on five children. Duo was the eldest."

"Allah!" Quatre breathed. Part of me accepted what Trowa had said. The Alliance had committed many such atrocities. But part of me couldn't get the image in my head out, of a tiny Duo running away from bullets. How close had I come to loosing him, before I even met him? How many times had he almost died, before he had jumped onto that submarine to protect a girl, who would forever hate him, from a boy who would do anything for the mission?

"The locals didn't like having a gang around that had annoyed the Alliance." Trowa continued, "They tore down the abandoned building that the gang had been using as shelter and handed the children over to the Maxwell Church and Orphanage."

There was a pause.

"And?" I demanded. I needed to know how Duo fit into the Massacre. I had heard about the Massacre, it had been headline news at the time. Although the story had never sounded true to me. Though that could have been paranoia, part of me didn't think so. The Alliance had controlled parts of the media.

"He was there for a little over a year," Trowa shrugged, "Then the rebels came. He didn't go into the full details… But he did tell me that he made a deal… with the rebels."

"What kind of deal?" Quatre pressed.

"They would leave the church," Trowa's face was a blank mask, "Leave the orphanage. They wouldn't touch anyone from there again. If Duo got them one weapon."

"Which weapon?" I spat out.

"One Mobile Suit." Trowa answered, "He arrived back, after the Massacre… But before the soldiers went in. He did tell me that the Sister was still alive when he arrived. However she did not survive long."

"She gave him his cross." Quatre spoke up.

"How do you know?" Wufei frowned.

"After Heero self-destructed…" Quatre was hesitant, "Duo stayed with me for a good while. During that time there was a… ritual… I think that's the best description… he performed. I found out later that the day was 'All Souls Day'. Apparently the _only_ Christian Religious Day that he understands. It celebrates the dead. Falling just after Halloween. The Maganacs were keeping an eye on him. When he laid out a knife, they got worried. I am ashamed to say that I spied on him, even after I realized that he wasn't going to commit suicide."

"What did he use the knife for?" I demanded.

"To trim a candle." Quatre shrugged, "Then as the candle burnt down, he recited names. Some of those names he said what they gave him. A name. A cross. A cause. A home. Love. A family. Others what they took from him. The streets. A family. A home. His shame. Loneliness. Gundam parts."

"I was on the list?" I almost couldn't breathe.

"You ended the list." Quatre nodded, his voice was barely more than a whisper, "That's when I knew it was a list of his dead."

He had counted me among his dead? He had barely known me. Back then, I hadn't even started to open up to him. We were allies, not friends. The closest we had gotten to being friends was me not killing him… And me returning the favour of saving his Gundam… and his life. But that wasn't personal. I was returning a favour. I was clearing a debt. Dr J would have said it was a sign of weakness. He had trained me to not think about debts to others. The mission was the be all and end all. It was the first crack in my armour. Invisible to anyone else. But I felt it. It opened up my inner armour. The shield around my mind. The one around my body… my body language to be precise, didn't crack until a long time later.

"We're deviating from the problem here." Quatre sighed, "Trowa, what did you mean that Duo might not think he would be welcome back?"

"He lost those he would consider his family twice," Trowa shrugged, "Is it not plausible that he might believe we have cut ties?"

"We would never do that!" Quatre exclaimed.

"But does he know that?" Trowa asked rhetorically.

I blocked the others' voices out. I pulled up the records in my head of the Alliance records of the Massacre and compared them to what Trowa had just told me. Only one detail stood out. According to the Alliance, and Oz who were involved, foot soldiers were sent in first, to try and separate civilians from rebels. It was only after some of the soldiers were killed by apparent civilians that the mobile suits were utilized. The soldiers had retreated and set up roadblocks to prevent rebel escapees.

There was no possible way that Duo could have driven a truck with a mobile suit on it past a roadblock of soldiers. That indicated that soldiers were not sent in first. Thus it was a mobile suit led attack. The name was the truth. A Massacre. And intended to be such. And one little orphan. One stupid, idiotic, little boy. My little Duo had survived, simply by not being where he was supposed to be.

Once again Duo had escaped death. But now I knew for sure that Duo was alive. He was out there… somewhere. I was going to find him and bring him home. That was my mission. Failure was _not_ an option. Seven years, nine days and counting.

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Good? Bad?

Please inform me. Constructive criticism encouraged.

Yamiyugi – My chapters are long? Seriously? I must be reading the wrong stories. I thought they were short.

Anonymous Void – I do try.

Loki's Katsmeow – Have no intention to stop.

Windwraith – Well, don't expect my OCs to turn up too often. I'm still recovering from a major Mary-Sue incidence. Please yell if they start going towards that. Also Wufei in my mind would loosen up slightly, especially since I married him off.

Wind Dancer1981 – I'm honoured by your compliment. Thank you.

Katerina Shinigami – Where you up to on the Ion Arc? I'm as far as it's gotten, so I can advise you get there. Another couple of good ones would be 'Rain', again by Sunhawk, 'Coffee House' and 'Run and Hide' by Merula.

Daemonmaxwell – Sequel to BW may take a while. I have _plot_, but no start. This one however is coming on well.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

This story was inspired and the first few chapters heavily influenced by cHixOr Neko's work, titled "Sunrise, Come Again"

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Trowa's POV

Seven years, three months, two days. The L3 police had been no more successful at finding Duo than we had been. Not that we expected anything less. The case was now declared a cold case. It was Wufei I felt the worst for. Heero was insufferable. He spent nearly every waking moment trying to find Duo. It was like he had returned to the first few months Duo was missing. Every computer flag had to be checked that it was still in place and functioning. Missing person reports were reissued. And it was only Wufei's calm demeanour that kept Lady Une from finding out. It was highly likely that Heero had nearly killed an agent or three in the Preventers for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Quatre wasn't much better. It was only his work that successfully distracted him. I didn't blame Duo for the reactions he was causing. But I did wish that he could watch what he was doing to us. His desire for friendship, for a family, had bound us together after he had left. However he had left scars in his wake.

I had taken a small break, visiting Catherine and the circus. They were on L2. Admittedly I had been unwilling to go at first. It was L2. I was trying to escape the reminders of Duo for a short while. Much like Quatre burying himself in his work; although when he did remember, Quatre then became filled with guilt at having forgotten his friend in the first place. It was a vicious cycle.

I had spent a week with the circus; recreating my war time act, complete with Catherine's unerring knife skills. She is dating now. A trapeze artist. He was part of the reason I was visiting the circus. Knowing that the woman who is practically my sister is fully capable of defending herself from unwanted advances is one thing, but making sure that the interested man is aware that an ex-mercenary will get angry if she is hurt, never did any harm.

I was heading back to Earth, when I saw it. Or rather him.

Anyone else would have missed it, I think. The other Pilots might have spotted it. But I'm not certain. I'd just gotten out the taxi at the Space-Port and was leaning against a tree, one of the few on L2.

It was a flash of black in the corner of my eye, followed by a tail of brown. How many times had I seen that before? None in the last seven years. Although I had _thought_ I had, several times. This time, however, when I looked again, it was still there.

Duo. It had to be. Black trench-coat, beige rucksack, black baseball cap. That and a five foot long chestnut braid were all I could see of him. I have never seen anyone with a braid anywhere near as long as Duo's. This person's was longer than I remembered Duo's being. But it had been seven years. This had to be him. I had found him. Pure chance. But I had found him. I could bring him home.

My body was moving after him, before I had even finished that train of thought. My bag firmly on my back.

He sensed me. I don't know how. But I didn't underestimate his ability to be on guard. Inwardly I smiled. Duo is fast, but I still have longer legs. As we had proven many times in the past, I am the second fastest Pilot over distances.

Then he made a mistake. I had tailed him for about three blocks, when he decided to enter what looked like an abandoned building. Duo may be faster on the flat, but I can take stairs three at a time to his two. It took me until the seventh floor to catch up with him, but I managed it.

Experience stopped me from grabbing his braid from instinct. Do that and Duo spins around with a dagger in hand. Instead I caught his wrist and spun him around, tearing his cap from his head with my other hand.

"Duo." I breathed, unable to keep the grin from my face.

It was Duo, just as I had thought. As I had believed. No taller than when I had seen him last. More worn in the face, though. Still wearing black, steel-capped boots. The blue jeans and grey t-shirt were slightly different than what he had worn, but not noticeably so.

Duo didn't say a word. He was just staring at me. Eyes wide. Mouth hanging open. I thought I could see fear in them. Was he scared of me?

"Everyone's been worried about you." I tried to calm him.

Those words seemed to trigger something inside of him. His mouth closed. His eyes narrowed, becoming determined.

In my defence I was not expecting him to attack me. So I was completely unprepared when his steel-caped boot rose and met my groin.

I released his wrist in pain, even as I fell to my knees. My eyes closed of their own accord, trying to block out the little stars that were now dancing in my vision.

"Shit!" the first word that slipped from Duo's lips.

I opened my eyes and found Duo staring at me. His gun was in his hands, aimed between my eyes. I was defenceless, and we both knew it.

"Shit!" he swore again, "Trowa!"

My name was said with a strange tonal inflection. It was almost as if I had done something incredibly stupid, but didn't know it. Maybe in his eyes I had. He spun his gun, so that he now held it by the barrel. I didn't have the reactions or the time to dodge or defend myself from the gun butt descended on my head. And then I knew no more.

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"Damn it!" I heard Duo's voice as I came back into consciousness, "Oh hell! Shit, shit, shit! Crap!"

As Duo proceeded to keep a constant litany of swear words going, I took stock of my situation. I was half-lying, half-sitting on some kind of seat. I moved my head slightly, and identified the material; leather. By the motion of the seat, I was probably in a car, or some other vehicle. I tried to sit up, but there was something binding me to the seat.

"Sorry, Tro." Duo automatically used the nickname he had always used for me, "But I can't take risks."

I opened my eyes. I was in a partially reclined passenger seat of a car. Duo sat in the driver's seat, half-way through a candy bar. In the section between the seats sat an energy drink. Duo's hands were visibly shaking, though whether with exhaustion, fear or sugar overload, I couldn't be sure. It was his eyes that slightly scared me. He was terrified, of something. And it wasn't me. Although I think I was related to it.

"You used to trust me." I chided.

"Things change Trowa." Duo growled, "I can't trust anyone."

"Heero misses you. So do all of us."

"Shut up Trowa," Duo spat, "You have no idea what is going on. You have no fucking idea how bad you could make the current situation."

"Why don't you explain?" I murmured, "If I understand, maybe I can help. Just like in the War."

"It's not the fucking War anymore, Tro." Duo answered, "Things have changed."

"Your height obviously not one of those things." I tried to tease him, "How long before your braid is longer than you are tall?"

"Trowa I do not have time for damn jokes about my height!" Duo retaliated, "You have _no_ idea how dangerous this is! So… Shut the HELL up!"

There was silence for a while, as I gave Duo time to calm down.

"Heero's torn between killing you and hugging you when he finds you." I finally dared.

"I told you to shut up." Duo snarled.

"Can you blame him?" I pressed. I was relying on the fact that Duo hadn't really hurt me, yet. He could have killed me, but he hadn't. Also, Duo was the second softest among us Pilots, after Quatre. He would kill if he had to, but only those he felt deserved it.

"Your leaving hurt him," I carried on, "He searched for you non-stop for a week. Then he wouldn't come out of his room for another week. He got so depressed we thought he would commit suicide…"

"I said shut up!" Duo snapped. His hand darted out and hit the music system.

I tried to talk to him again, but each attempt only resulted in the music being turned up, until I could no longer hear my own voice. I stopped trying, instead I watched Duo.

The shaking of his hand was getting worse. His eyes kept on dropping and he'd finished his energy drink. By the noise it made as he tossed it into the back of the car, it wasn't his first of the day, and probably not his second either.

As he continued driving, I started to worry more and more for my continued health. Not that Duo would harm me. That much was already clear. He could have hit me to shut me up. Instead he chose to drown me out. However in his current state, he might fall asleep at the wheel. I tried to get free of my bonds, so that in an emergency I could at least grab the wheel and try and save the pair of us.

It was in vain. The bonds had very little slack in them. I would guess that they were tape, judging by how my clothing stuck to them. That too was a sign of Duo's unwillingness to harm me. The tape didn't stick to my skin at all. And considering that I was wearing a t-shirt, he must have found something to cover my forearms with, so that the tape wouldn't hurt when he pulled it off.

A downside of the tape was that my legs were falling asleep.

There was one thing that was confusing me. Duo's glances at me kept on changing in emotion. One glance was hopeful. The next apologetic. Then he was angry. Resigned. Caring. It was like Duo didn't know what to feel… what to think. If so, then it was very unlikely that he knew what to do. He was probably running off instincts.

I allowed myself a small internal smirk. With all my moving around, I had determined that my mobile phone was still in my pocket. Even if Duo had turned it off, Quatre could activate the GPS chip remotely. As long as I stuck close to Duo, he'd find the both of us. I had no doubt that when I failed to turn up at the 'home' Space-Port when I was expected that Quatre would send the Maganacs after me. They would probably be a little surprised at seeing Duo with me… But they would bring the both of us home. Probably breaking Duo's legs if he resisted. I _had_heard that threat bandied around the Maganacs on a fairly regular basis, since Duo had vanished. They took any injury, whether physical, mental or emotional, to their Master Quatre _very_ personally. Although they liked Duo, they would bring him home, against his will if necessary.

Personally I couldn't see any problem with that. All I had to do was stay with Duo and wait to be 'rescued'. And didn't that feel demeaning. Reduced to a Relena.

Duo parked the car, finally. He turned off the music and faced me.

"Can I trust you?" he asked; his voice barely more than a whisper.

"There was a time," I chided, "When you wouldn't have even needed to ask that."

"Things change." Duo shrugged, "Look. I'm not asking much. I need fuel. For me and the car. I can't leave you tied up like this. Someone would notice. If I cut you free, can I trust you not to try and attack me? Just let me go. I'll leave you here. You can go wherever you need to. Just promise me you'll let me go."

"I can't do that, Duo." I replied firmly, "Not only would Quatre tear me a new one… But my conscious wouldn't let me either."

"Then we have a problem." Duo stared at me.

"I can promise that I won't try to harm you," I decided on a compromise, "I can promise that I won't try to drag you anywhere, at this point in time. But you have to take me where you're going."

"I c…can't…" Duo started to stammer.

"Duo," I switched tactics. A harsh voice wasn't getting me anywhere. Instead I used the voice that I used for the lions at the circus. It was the softest and kindest voice I had. Quatre always melted with its use. Duo had never heard it before. If nothing else, I thought it might shock him enough that he might agree on reflex. "Can you honestly tell me that you don't need someone to watch your back? Let me watch it for you. Let me help you."

"Tro… I… can't." Duo looked as if he was on the verge of a breakdown.

"Just take me where you're going." I soothed, "I won't harm you. Come on. You trusted me when I was undercover in OZ. You trusted me then, even when Wufei didn't. Trust me now."

"Alright." Duo surrendered. Exhaustion was apparently robbing him of his ability to argue with me. He seemed almost grateful to be able to surrender some of the decisions over to me.

Out of his boot came the knife, which he used to cut the tape binding me.

"Don't call anyone?" He almost pleaded, as I started to peel the rest of the tape off me. I also unwrapped the two t-shirts around my arms that he'd used to protect my skin from the tape.

"Not until you let me." I responded gently. He was like a skittish animal. I reached out a hand and pulled him into a one-armed hug, "It's alright. I'm not mad."

"Need fuel." Duo scrambled out of the car and out of reach of me.

As he filled the fuel tank up, I entered the small shop, needing the toilet more than anything else. However stretching out the pins and needles in my legs wasn't a bad idea either. It didn't take me long to go, and while I was in the toilet I pulled my phone out and checked it. Duo had turned it off. I didn't turn it back on. At the moment I had Duo's tentative trust. Keeping that was vital to staying close to Duo. At least until the Maganacs turned up.

I frowned slightly at the load of high energy food and drink that Duo was placing into a basket, when I emerged from the toilet. Walking briskly over to the sandwiches, I pulled two cheese ones off the shelves, probably the safest things there. I placed both them and a small carton of milk and a small bottle of orange juice into Duo's basket. He looked at me wide eyed.

"You need to eat better." I chided, "I'll get this."

I reached for my wallet in my back pocket. Only to see it in Duo's hand as he pulled it from his coat.

"Should have guessed." I smiled slightly, as he nervously handed it over to me.

God, he was like a wild animal. Like an abused and abandoned dog. Desperate for some affection, for some care. But oh so _scared _of getting hit. I was going to have to be very careful, or he'd run off. We were going to have to be careful, when I managed to bring him home. I was starting to pray that the Maganacs would bring sedatives with them. Because I was _not_ going to put this fragile, _broken_ Duo through the stress of feeling like a prisoner. Even if he had to sleep the entire way home.

I pulled a credit card out of the wallet. At Duo's wide-eyed panicked look, I carefully showed him the name on the card.

"It's mine." I murmured. "I have a few accounts that Quatre doesn't know about. He won't track this."

I have to have a few accounts that Quatre doesn't know about. Otherwise it makes gift buying nearly impossible. He doesn't monitor my private accounts, but… you'd be amazed at how fanatical stalkers can get. After the third stalker letter declared that I was having a secret affair with someone, and revealed Quatre's surprise present, I had set up a few hidden accounts. He knows they exist, but not where they are or how much is in them. It's an open secret between the two of us.

Duo's breathing eased slightly, as I paid for our purchases.

"I could drive." I suggested.

"No." Duo was adamant, as we got back into the car.

"Okay," I wasn't expecting Duo to be as firm as he had been, "But you are drinking the juice, the milk and eating one of the sandwiches. Now."

He stared at me. Mouth opening and closing in shock.

"You're not looking after yourself properly." I informed him, "While I am with you, you will eat properly."

I had seen Quatre use this tactic on Duo before. Draw the line. Tell Duo. Don't ask. Of course it only worked in regards to things related to Duo's health, such as food and medical check-ups. But it did work. Duo blinked at me for a moment. It wasn't until I placed the unwrapped sandwich in his hand that he started to eat it. The milk and juice followed in quick succession.

I was disappointed when he then grabbed the can of coffee. One of those 'shake-to-heat' things. They taste vile, and I know that was Duo's opinion of them as well. Had his tastes changed? Or was he just that desperate for caffeine? He gulped down half the can, almost without breathing.

He started the engine. I would have felt safer driving, but Duo was acting as if he wouldn't let go of the wheel if he died.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I can't tell you." Duo whispered.

"Why did you leave?"

"I can't tell you."

"That's okay." I leant back and kept quiet. This served two purposes, it allowed me time to piece all the puzzle pieces I had together and I knew that Duo didn't usually cope well with silence. He would probably talk, eventually.

"How are they?" Duo finally spoke about fifteen minutes later. I was personally surprised at his restraint.

"Worried," I admitted honesty. "Just as I am. We're worried about you."

"I'm fine." Duo replied, almost automatically.

"No, you're not." I countered, "But apart from missing you. Everyone is fine. And I mean that honestly. Not like you do."

"I'm _fine_." Duo growled. Ah, the coffee had kicked in. He wouldn't be so pliant now.

"Duo," I sighed, "Your hands are shaking."

"What do you know?" Duo looked at his right hand in surprise, "I must be low on the caffeine."

"No," I sighed, "I think you've overdosed."

"No." Duo shook his head, "I just need more."

"Duo!" I sighed, "You need help."

Duo stopped the car on the side of the road.

"Get out." He told me.

"Duo, I'm coming with you."

"Not this last little bit." Duo shook his head, "If anyone other than me turns up… they'll kill the spares. They _need_ me. They don't need you."

"Promise me you'll come back and pick me up?" I switched tacks, "We haven't finished talking."

"I can't."

"Promise me or I don't get out the car." Blackmail, pure and simple. I almost felt bad for it, when I saw the fear in Duo's eyes. He believed me. And he believed that I would get killed.

"I'll come back." He stated.

"In under an hour," I countered, "Or I get Quatre to shut down this colony and flood it with Maganacs."

"This is L2." Duo fired back, "Ali-Baba and the forty thieves won't find me."

Pure Duo. I remembered Quatre's reaction to that nickname. Although Rashid's was a _lot_more entertaining, by far. The Maganacs didn't take kindly to being referred to as thieves. Even in jest.

"No," I agreed, "But it will it make it much more difficult for you to leave."

"Give me your phone." Duo sighed.

"Why?" I asked, although inwardly I was celebrating. He would keep the GPS chip, although I was slightly worried that the Maganacs hadn't turned up yet. What was keeping them?

"So you can't follow me." Duo replied, "Phone Quatre. I'm sure he's worried about you. There's a payphone, just down the street. Don't mention me."

"Why not?"

"You can't." Duo repeated. "You just can't."

"Duo," I touched his arm, and watched as he flinched, "I won't, if you don't want me to. But you have to pick me up and talk to me. I think we deserve an explanation."

"Don't tell anyone I'm here." Duo insisted.

"I swear." I pulled out my phone and handed it over to him, "You have an hour, before I break it."

"Back in fifteen." Duo countered as I got out the car. For a moment he flashed me a pure Duo grin. Then he drove away.

I walked to the payphone, pulling out my wallet as I walked. I had little fear about being jumped, even on the back-streets of L2. It was nearly noon, judging by the light, and Duo had once said that the only one of us that would ever be jumped by street people was Quatre. And that was only because Quatre looked like an easy mark. The rest of us… didn't. And Quatre would only be jumped once; his legend would go round pretty quickly.

"Winner here." Quatre answered the phone, politely as ever. Although I could hear the stress and aggravation in his voice, "How may I help you?"

"Step one," I smiled, "Calm down and breathe, little one."

"Trowa!" Quatre exclaimed, "Where are you? Are you alright? Why didn't you call earlier? Do you need any help? Your GPS isn't working!"

"I'm fine." I countered. My GPS was out of commission? Well, that explained the delayed Maganacs. "Something came up. I just need to sort it out. I'll be back as soon as it's done."

"Can I help?" Quatre offered. I could read the undertones… Was it Gundam related? Was I in trouble?

"Not right now." I replied; the best answer, "I'm not in any trouble. It's just a tricky situation."

"Do you need Rashid?"

"Not that kind of tricky." I smiled, "I should be coming back by tomorrow, at the very latest." Even if I had to _sedate_ Duo. Although if I did that, I would have to be on alert for the next three months. Duo could be extremely patient when it came to revenge.

"Is everything okay?" Quatre's frown was audible.

"The circus is fine." I answered, "I'm uninjured and unharmed. I'm un-detained. Right now, I'm where I need to be, Quatre."

"You're needed that badly?"

"That and more."

"I could come and help."

"No," I quickly countered, "You stay where you are. This is a one person mission. Well… two person. But I have a partner already. He found me."

"Do you trust him?" Quatre speak for 'Will he harm you?'.

"He trusts _me_," I stressed, "And that's the more important thing. He's very… skittish. I didn't think he'd let me call until this was over. He's got my phone."

"You _let_ him?"

"Little one, this is important." I sighed, "I can't say much more. I've got several promises I need to keep. And keeping his trust is _very_ important."

"How important?"

I could translate that one easily: 'Do I need to put the Maganacs and the other Pilots on alert?'.

"Depends who you talk to," I shrugged, "To Relena this wouldn't be important at all."

Translation: 'Not a threat to peace.'

"But to me," I carried on, "It's as important as you are."

"Will you be in any danger?"

"Never." I smirked, "Not from this guy. And he's going out of his way to keep me out of danger."

"He doesn't need to do that. But tell him thanks."

"I will." I saw the car pull up, "He's here. I'll be home soon. Look after yourself. With a bit of luck, I'll bring you home a surprise."

"See you then. May Allah guard you."

I hung up. Yes, if this worked out, I would be bringing home a surprise. I quickly slipped into the car.

"Didn't take you that long." I remarked, "What were you up to?"

"I had to pick something up." Duo replied quietly.

"Couldn't you wait?"

"I had to be on time." Duo's voice was barely a murmur, "Or there would be consequences. I was pushing it as it was."

"Consequences?"

"I can't say."

"This isn't the place for this," I stated, "You need to be able to pay attention to the road. Find somewhere to park, where we can talk."

Duo nodded. This Duo was strange. It was like he _wanted_ me to tell him what to do. It was as if he _needed_ to be told, so that he didn't have to carry the burden alone. But he wouldn't ask what to do either.

That wasn't Duo. Duo hated being told what to do. But he wasn't afraid to ask, if he was in over his head. Duo always needed to feel like he had an option in what he did.

What had happened to Duo? What had caused him to change so much? In seven years, what had happened?

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Good? Bad?

Please inform me. Constructive criticism encouraged.

My longest chapter yet. I apologize, Trowa has a great deal of inner monologue. He won't shut up. In fact I've had to split this chapter into two. Next half coming soonish.

Before anyone tells me, I _know _Duo's a little OOC. But think, the guy has been on his own, doing GOK what for seven years. He's changed. Just like the others have changed... Only in the _opposite_ direction.

Katerina Shinigami – Thanks. I had to think about the experiments. Professor Google and Doctor Wikipedia are my new best friends. Finish Ion, it's really gotten good. The last chapter so far… Well, I keep on re-reading it.

Whitetiger1589 – Sorry, long chapter. And like Heero is going to give up.

Yamiyugi23 – Thanks.

Anonymous Void – I intend this story to have an ending. Whether happy or sad, I don't really care. Thanks for the details about the Massacre.

Wind Dancer1981 – Thanks for the compliment.

Leave None Behind – Mary Sue's are alright, as long as they don't become the main character. My main problem. Thanks for the review. And I'm with you on 'Death and the Dragon', but I found the story posted somewhere else. Which one you looking for?


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

This story was inspired and the first few chapters heavily influenced by cHixOr Neko's work, titled "Sunrise, Come Again"

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Trowa's POV – Cont.

Duo finally parked outside an old, burnt ruin. He crossed his arms over the steering wheel and laid his forehead on them.

"Where are we?" I tried to open the conversation. It felt strange trying to pry words out of Duo. Our positions were switched. Before it had always been Duo trying to get me to talk. He always managed it, even when I didn't want to.

"The second place I ever called home," Duo murmured, "And the penultimate. Maxwell's Church and Orphanage."

"Where was the last?"

"Quatre's place." Duo's voice choked as he said it. And I knew I had him.

"Then come home, Duo."

"I can't Tro," Duo whispered, "I can't."

"Yes, you can." I replied, "None of us would judge you. Quatre's left your room just as it was. Heero's frantically looking for you. Wufei worries about you. And I just ran after you, not knowing for sure that it was you. We miss you. It doesn't feel right without you."

"When did you learn to talk?" Duo tried to joke. But I could tell it was half-hearted.

"When I realized that someone needed to fill the silence you left behind."

"I didn't have a choice."

"Yes, you did."

"You're right," I breathed slightly easier, maybe I could persuade Duo, if he was admitting he had a choice, "I could choose between running and hiding and doing what I've been doing, or signing your death warrants. Some choice."

"What?" I'd never heard true sarcasm from Duo before.

"You can't tell the Preventers you found me. Or Quatre will die."

"You'd kill Quatre?" This was not the Duo I remembered.

"No!" the pure fear in his voice convinced me more than the word, "But it wouldn't be me. Not my choice. If the Preventers, Wufei or Heero find out that I've been found, Quatre dies. I don't want it to happen. But it will."

"Is that what keeps you away?"

"That," Duo closes his eyes for a moment, "And the seventy five percent chance that Wufei will be killed, the fifty-fifty chance of death that both you and Heero have…"

"And you?" I'm not a fool, anyone threatening to kill one of us, would threaten all.

"I've got a one in four chance of death." I frowned slightly, why the varying odds? What other secrets was our Shinigami hiding?

"Duo, who's threatening you?"

"I can't tell you. Just that it's not our abilities that give us the odds." Then what? Duo was talking cryptically. I couldn't understand him. It felt like he was desperately trying to skirt around a topic.

"What have you been doing?"

"I can't tell you."

"You know Quatre's brought you presents? Every year? So have the others. So have I."

"Get rid of them." His voice was quiet now, I had to strain to hear the words over the music, "I'm not coming home."

"You will."

"I can't."

"Did they tell you that?"

"No." I breathed slightly easier at Duo's admission. Only for my breath to catch in my throat again, as he continued. "They don't need to. What I've done… means I can never go home. I'll never be free. Because if I tell… a lot of people are going to get into trouble. A lot of important people. They'll kill me, when I'm no longer of any use."

"Duo!"

"I don't have a choice, Trowa. Just forget about me. It'll be easier. My body might turn up on the streets one day. I'll die where I've lived. On the streets. It's all I deserve, anyway."

"No." I whispered, "You're better than that."

"I'm a thief. I'm a murderer. Trowa just go home. Forget about me."

"Never." I declared, "Duo, you don't have any idea what you mean to us. Heero's nearly out of his mind with worry. Especially since they found your blood on L3."

"How?"

"Quatre's listed as your next of kin, Duo. Remember?"

"I haven't thought about that for years. I was thinking about switching it to Heero. But then…"

"Then you left."

"I didn't have a choice." He seemed desperate for me to understand that.

"I know. You wouldn't have left if you did." I could give him that comfort at least.

"Just go home. Mourn me and forget me. It'll be easier."

"No." I reached out and turned him to face me. "What is going to happen is that you are going to take me to a safe-house. I don't need to know where it is. And I don't want to know. Once there, I am going to check you over. I can't go back to Quatre and tell him that I left his best friend… his big brother walk around injured. And we both know you are." His hand moved instinctively to his chest, locating the main injury for me.

"I'm not a good best friend. Never mind a big brother." His voice was barely audible.

"No," His head jolted up at that word, "You're the best. I don't know what you've been doing. But I can see it's been killing you. You were never meant to be alone. You're a social person. Isolation is hurting you almost as much as a physical wound."

He turned his head away. I forced it back gently.

"Let me help you." I insisted, "You've already disabled the GPS on my phone." He blushed slightly, embarrassed that I had realized, "I'm no risk. I don't want Quatre hurt any more than you do… But nor do I want you to be hurt. For as much as Quatre is your little brother… You are mine. I am not leaving, until I am sure that I have done as much as I can to help you heal."

I almost held my breath as Duo seemed to think this over, staring at me the whole time. When his shoulders sagged, I knew I had won. He tore a strip of cloth from the bottom of his t-shirt.

"Blindfold." He told me, handing it over.

I didn't say a word as I bound it across my eyes. I knew he was showing me a great deal of trust, by allowing me to blindfold myself. Never mind seeing his safe-house. Duo turned the music up on the music system, efficiently blocking out all outside noises, leaving me very few references to our direction. When he activated the massage option on the passenger chair, I lost all indicators. I wouldn't put it past Duo to have driven around in circles for a while, so I couldn't even rely on time.

After a while the music and the chair were switched off. I pulled the blindfold off and looked around. Duo had managed to park the car inside a building. I couldn't see the entrance. However, it appeared to have almost full medical facilities, less than five metres away from the car. I got out the car.

Duo had made his way over to the medical supplies. I think he just wanted it over with as quickly as possible. I fought a smirk back, even now he hated doctors and hospitals and medical 'stuff' as he had called it during the war. He hadn't changed.

"Strip down." I told him, trying to be gentle. It was only when I realized that he couldn't get his left arm above his head that I started to help. Just as I had when patching him up during the war. Although Quatre had always been better at the patching up than me.

Once he was down to his boxers and sitting on the hospital style bed, it was hard to keep a blank face. He had not had even a quarter of these scars the last time I had bandaged him up. Heero was going to throw a fit. Quatre was going to mother-hen him into the next century. And Wufei was going to be sharpening his katana for revenge.

What only made it worse was that a good proportion of his torso as well as his left upper arm, right forearm and left leg were bandaged up. Probably hiding more injuries both old and new. And the bandages were clearly self-applied. I filled a bowl with water and started to carefully remove them, washing away dried and new blood as I did so.

Duo was unnaturally quiet. His eyes were closed as if he was asleep. He flinched slightly as I laid his injuries bare, but didn't complain as he had the last time I had acted in lieu of Sally.

It only took a glance at the wounds to see that only one had been professionally attended, and sloppily at that. Sally would have had the doctor's licence for the shoddy work that had been performed on Duo's chest wound. It was obvious that this was the wound that had bled so profusely on L3. The healing was slow. Much slower than I expected. Duo can't have been eating well. Then again, what did I expect? I could count his ribs.

The chest wound would scar badly when it finished healing. But I was more concerned about the new wounds on his arms and left leg. They should not have been simply bandaged. They were too long, too deep. They needed stitching. I told him so.

"I'll need to sedate you."

"There's local anaesthetics in the case." Duo argued.

"You've run out." I lied after looking, "And anyway, Duo, that's three limbs. You'd be useless doped up like that. You've got my phone and I'll give you my word that I won't run."

There was a pause, as Duo tried to think his way through. I could see it on his face, he wanted to trust me, but he'd been on guard, on watch for so long, he didn't know how to stop. Had he been on guard constantly for those seven years? Why hadn't we found him sooner? He had needed us. And we weren't there.

"Duo, right now, you couldn't stop me, even if I had one arm tied behind my back. Trust me. I'm on watch. Stand down."

Those were the magic words. He relaxed automatically. I almost had to catch him to lay him down, before he collapsed. He still trusts me that much. The awe I felt was incredible. I wasn't the closest of us to him. I loaded the syringe with the amount it had usually required to sedate Duo in the past. I could tell it was too much even as Duo fell under.

I didn't worry about it. The dose usually only knocked Duo out for an hour. He wouldn't be under for much over two. A sterilised needle and thread were in Duo's medical kit, so I quickly stitched him up.

Before I bandaged him up, I took photographs of his entire body. If I don't have actual physical evidence for Quatre that Duo is alive and doing relatively well, he's going to kill me, lover or not. And with these picture, I can at least _try_and work out how badly injured Duo has gotten over the past seven years. Although Quatre would be better, he had always been better at the patching up part than me. Duo hadn't spotted the camera. Not that I had expected him to. It was a new design from WEI, incorporated into my watch. I was wearing one of the prototypes.

I bandaged him back up. Careful not to hamper his movements with excess gauze or gauze pulled to tight. I turned him onto his stomach, gently. Then I tried to massage the knots out of his back. I had only done this once before for Duo. He'd said I had 'magic fingers'. Then he'd promptly and jokingly tried to woo me away from Quatre. I smiled at the memory of Quatre bashing Duo over the head with a pillow.

He hadn't had as many knots back then. It took most of the time after sorting out Duo's wounds, to knead the knots out.

If Duo felt that he couldn't come home, I couldn't do much for him. But what little I could do, I would. The massage should help his movement and alleviate the almost constant pain he was in. And as much as he would deny it, he was in physical pain. I didn't want to think about his emotional pain. It was probably off the charts. As I had told Duo, he wasn't meant to be alone. Heero could probably have coped with the isolation; Wufei as well. I wasn't so sure about myself. But Duo? He lost his family twice from what he'd told me. Even during the War, Duo had wanted to be close to people. For God's sake, it was Duo who taught me what friends were… what family was. And he had felt that he had to walk away from all of that… Just when we were beginning to understand what he was offering to us so freely.

Damn it! If I ever find out who forced Duo into this situation, I'll kill them. And that would probably be the kindest thing to do. Because if Quatre found out, I'd hate to think about it. Heero would be worse. The guy would be _begging_for me to kill him, before Heero had even warmed up.

When I had finished, I had slight cramps in my fingers. But I thought that at the very least, he should feel better. I turned him back onto his back, and waited for him to wake up.

How many times have I done this? In countless hospitals across the Sphere. Waiting for a doctor to come and find me. It felt just the same. Only now I felt so much more alone. So much more helpless.

I wanted to grab the anaesthetic and knock him out for twenty four hours. To take him home unconscious. But I couldn't let myself do that. He truly believed that we would suffer if he came home. So he would have to stay as he was, for now.

I heard him stir, before I saw it. I watched as his fingers flexed slightly, ready to go for a weapon or to attack without requiring a weapon. Still on guard then. Damn, when he came home, it was not going to be pretty. And he _would_ be coming home. I was going to make sure of that. Duo was _not_ going to be abandoned by me. Even _if_ he wanted to be.

"Easy." I called out, before he tried to attack me, "The drug's working its way out your system."

"Tro?" he sounded just as he did last time we had met, those seven years ago. All the fear, the caution, the worry, the pain, hell, _everything_ negative was gone from his voice.

"It's alright." I stroked his braid, "I'm here. You're safe."

He curled up. I could see his breathing evening out and deepening. I looked at his face. A few more lines on it, a couple more faint scars, but still Duo. Still the cheery smiling boy I had once known. At least in sleep. And he needed sleep. I hadn't seen worse bags on Quatre, even at the height of his workaholic states. Damn. When was the last time he got any sleep?

I quickly found a blanket and draped it over him. Another blanket was in the same place, so I stretched out on a second bed. I could have used some sleep.

But I couldn't fall asleep easily. Duo's words and actions kept on running around in my head. I had to solve the problem. I had to work everything out. But I was not the best at deductive reasoning. That was more Quatre's area, than mine. He could always see the big picture. And given that Duo was desperate not to reveal anything it was unlikely that I would be able to figure anything out. After all I usually had the pieces of a puzzle given to me, while undercover.

I must have eventually fallen asleep, because I didn't hear Duo wake up. However I did hear his feet hit the floor.

"Feeling better?" I asked, sitting up.

"A bit." He conceded.

"Duo," I caught his wrists and forced him to face me, "I can't force you to come home. But… if you get seriously hurt again, you are to contact me. Tell me a place and a time. I'll turn up. And I'll patch you up. I won't tell anyone that I'm going to see you."

"Tro…" He tried to argue.

"Promise me." I insisted, "Say, 'I promise I will contact Trowa when I am seriously injured, as in 'Partially Operational'. I will tell him a time and a place. I will meet him there and take him to a safe-house, where I will let him treat me. And I will do all this, before two days have passed after the injury. The meeting will not occur any later than four days after the injury.'. Say it!"

He slowly made his way through the promise, repeating me word for word. I knew it wasn't exactly binding. Duo, for all that he says he doesn't lie, is the Master of half-truths and loopholes. I had just plugged as many as I could think of. With a bit of luck, it would be too difficult for him to bother about finding loopholes. I had learnt… _We_ had learnt during the War and up until he left that if you made it too much hard work for Duo to wriggle through a loophole, he would stick to the deals you made with him.

"You can't tell Heero or Wufei." Duo instructed me, turning to get dressed.

"I know." I conceded. I could give him that, at least. Looking at the ragged state of his clothes, I turned to the car praying that Duo had grabbed my bag.

He had. I rummaged through it and removed a t-shirt, which I then threw at Duo.

"Yours is more rags than clothes." I lightly reprimanded, "Take mine. It's not like I'll miss it."

"Tro…" Duo looked away, "I can't…"

"Hell you can!" I fired back, "When you come home, Quatre's practically going to replace your entire wardrobe."

"I can't come home!" Duo whispered.

"You will." I wrapped him up in a hug. "I don't know when. But I promise you, I will find a way for you to come home."

"You can't."

"I will." I swore, "I will find a way, so that you can come home at no risk to anyone. But until then, you are going to do everything in your power to stay _alive_. And you will take what I give you, as long as it does not contain tracking devices. Agreed?"

"I can't…"

"Yes you can." I shook him slightly, "I am going to do everything I can to keep you alive. Because you are coming home. And we are going to be a complete family, again. Do you understand?"

"You can't risk your life or the lives of the others!" Duo insisted.

"I won't." I forced his hand open and pushed all my cash from my wallet into his hand. "But you are going to take care of yourself. Do you understand?"

"Tro…"

"Say: 'Yes Trowa'." I knew that what I was doing was unfair on Duo. I was effectively railroading him.

"Yes Trowa." Duo whispered. My heart almost broke at his tone. Duo sounded so defeated. I could tell that he was only humouring me. Duo fully expected to die alone, on the streets.

"Now, get dressed." I told him, "I'll wait in the car. And you can drop me off wherever. I'd just like my mobile back at some point."

He needed the space. I had practically forced him to do what I wanted from the moment I had followed him. Despite the fact that I was technically his prisoner. I wasn't exactly sure if this was a warped version of Stockholm Syndrome or Lima Syndrome. Either way, I had made the first step on the path to bring Duo home.

I didn't turn to look at him, when he got into the car. That was a mistake. The auto-injector that rammed into my leg, told me that.

"I'm sorry, Trowa." Duo whispered, "But you're not going to see where I go. Tell Quatre I'm sorry."

That was the last I heard before the sedative knocked me out. When I came to, I was still in the car, parked in the car park of the spaceport. Duo was long gone, but he had taken the money and the t-shirt. And he had left me my phone, a text message half composed on the screen stated:

'I fixed the GPS. I'm sorry.'

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Good? Bad?

Please inform me. Constructive criticism encouraged.

This is part of a de-stress for me. I have an exam tomorrow. A retake. Wish me luck.

Thanks to all reviewers. Eleven reviews! A personal best for a multi-chaptered story. Thank you all.

Yamiyugi – Duo's not coming home, yet.

Wind Dancer1981 – Thank you. New avatar?... Nice.

Koneko Zero – Thank you very much. This is actually a practice to see if I can write realistic First Person stories. I used to all the time in English class, but they never quite worked. I'm glad you think I'm doing well.

Katerina Shinigami – Oops. Guess I should have looked Duo's height up, huh? Oh well, I'm sticking with it at five feet. Who knows, he might just cut it when the braid starts to drag. I understand the problem with the Ion Arc. It has to be the first story I've ever read when I cried as a _Spaceship_ got stripped of paint. (My housemates laugh at me sometimes. I still cry at 'Gladiator')

Anonymous Void – Well, if the problem is to do with Duo, Relena won't put much value on it… would she?

Loki's Katsmeow – Thanks for the review.

Windwraith – Here you go.

Whitetiger1589 – Sorry, suspense keeping going. I want to drag this out.

Illusion-Factory – Thanks. Good luck with your writing.

Blah Blah – Just hang in there. I _like_ suspense. I was that little kid at school who read the Agatha Christies. Sorry.

Wallflowerxiii – Um… Wow! You honour me. Seriously. I love Dyna Dee and Sunhawk's fiction. To remind you of those… Wow. Sorry, brain now stuck… Wow…


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Quatre's POV

When Trowa didn't phone to tell me he had gotten onto the shuttle, I initially thought he had forgotten. We always made a point of trying to contact each other when on trips at regular intervals. However sometimes we missed a call. It was not unusual.

But when Trowa didn't turn up at the Space-port on Earth, I knew something was wrong. Trowa would have called to tell me if he had been delayed. First I tried his phone.

"Barton," the recorded message answered me, "Name. Number." A little mechanical beep.

"Trowa," I breathed, "It's Quatre. Call me."

Next I opened the GPS program on my computer and activated Trowa's chip. Or at least I _tried_ to activate it. For some reason the chip stubbornly refused to turn on. I had had the chip designed. It was top of the line and there was one in each of the other Pilots' phones, and one phone waiting for Duo. If the chip wasn't turning on, then it was broken. And considering that it was designed to be extremely durable the breakage wasn't an accident. Trowa was in trouble.

But where? If he was captured they wouldn't have stayed on L2. If he was running the Maganacs would never find him. I _knew_ I should have given him a back-up GPS chip.

I could do nothing until I knew for sure. However I promised that if I hadn't heard anything from Trowa in twenty four hours, then I was setting the Maganacs loose and damn the consequences. They would dismantle L2 if they had to and then cover the other colonies.

I hadn't done that to find Duo, mainly because Duo knows how to hide better than anyone else I've ever met. We played hide and seek once, while waiting for a mission. He hid for over six hours in the Maganac village, and they still didn't find him.

The other reason was that Relena pointed out that it could insight a war.

It was about two hours after Trowa should have arrived at the Space-port when the phone rang. I glanced at the number that popped up on the screen. It wasn't a known number. Probably an unsolicited call.

"Winner here." I tried to be polite despite my frustration, "How may I help you?"

"Step one," Trowa's voice was like a balm to my soul, "Calm down and breathe, little one."

"Trowa!" I was frantic, "Where are you? Are you alright? Why didn't you call earlier? Do you need any help? Your GPS isn't working!"

"I'm fine." Trowa sounded slightly surprised, but also calm. "Something came up. I just need to sort it out. I'll be back as soon as it's done."

"Can I help?" I asked, wondering if it was related to the Gundams.

"Not right now." I could tell that Trowa was being evasive, "I'm not in any trouble. It's just a tricky situation."

"Do you need Rashid?"

"Not that kind of tricky. I should be coming back by tomorrow, at the very latest." That was calming. Whatever Trowa had stumbled on wouldn't take too long.

"Is everything okay?" I frowned slightly.

"The circus is fine. I'm uninjured and unharmed. I'm un-detained. Right now, I'm where I need to be, Quatre."

"You're needed that badly?" I was puzzled, Trowa wasn't just being evasive, he was being down-right cryptic.

"That and more."

"I could come and help."

"No," Trowa countered quickly, "You stay where you are. This is a one person mission. Well… two person. But I have a partner already. He found me."

"Do you trust him?"

"He trusts _me_," I could hear Trowa's stress on the words. "And that's the more important thing. He's very… skittish. I didn't think he'd let me call until this was over. He's got my phone."

"You _let_ him?" That did surprise me. Trowa was attached to his phone as Heero was to his laptop.

"Little one, this is important. I can't say much more. I've got several promises I need to keep. And keeping his trust is _very_ important."

"How important?" My curiosity was peaked. But I was also worried, were we looking at another Mariamia?

"Depends who you talk to. To Relena this wouldn't be important at all. But to me, it's as important as you are." That was very telling. Trowa didn't use the word important often in regards to himself.

"Will you be in any danger?"

"Never. Not from this guy. And he's going out of his way to keep me out of danger."

"He doesn't need to do that. But tell him thanks."

"I will. He's here. I'll be home soon. Look after yourself. With a bit of luck, I'll bring you home a surprise."

"See you then. May Allah guard you." I whispered, as Trowa hung up.

I thought my way back through the conversation. Trowa hadn't given me much information about his mysterious 'partner', but there were clues there. It was obviously someone Trowa had known before. And someone who trusted Trowa immensely. The word 'skittish' had sent warning flags up in my mind. Trowa only uses that word to refer to recently abused animals. So… a recently abused person was Trowa's partner, I deduced. But then why would they trust Trowa? Trowa may be one of the kindest people I know, but he is tall and _really_ intimidating. The other side of it was that if Trowa knew that someone was being abused, he would get them out of the situation, against their will if necessary.

And all of that added up to… very little concrete information for me. Someone who would trust Trowa even after being abused, or maybe even while being abused. No-one sprung to mind. So they had to be a friend of Trowa's that I had not met. And what sort of mission was it? I felt like I was trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle without the picture and over half the pieces missing.

All I could really do was wait… No, that wasn't all I could do. I quickly ran down the location of the phone that Trowa had used to call me. A payphone on L2. And not one of the nicest streets on L2. So he hadn't left L2. If anything went wrong, I could still throw all of the Maganacs after Trowa.

About ten hours later the phone rang again. My phone displayed the simple statement: 'Trowa'.

"Trowa." I smiled, before remembering that he'd given his phone to the stranger.

"Quatre." Trowa's voice was gentle, "I'm on my way home."

"Did you get your thing sorted out?"

"Not quite," Trowa was reluctant to admit, "But I've gotten as far as I can right now."

"Your partner?" I pressed slightly.

"Ran off," Trowa was blunt, "Like I said, the guy's skittish. Got me to the Space-port first, though. We'll talk more when I get home."

"Okay." I agreed.

The time that it took for Trowa to come home I spent thinking again. If this guy trusted Trowa why would he run off? Things weren't adding up.

I couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped my lips when Abdul informed me that Trowa had been picked up and was on his way. However the one that came when I saw Trowa was even bigger. To all appearances Trowa was unharmed.

His stance was slightly pleased with himself. Like he had a secret. I have gotten _very_ good at reading Trowa's body language. Add in my Space-heart and it gets very easy to understand my lover. He was pleased, but also regretful. He was happy, but it was tinged with a touch of loss. It was confusing.

"Bedroom." He whispered to me as I hugged him, "I've got a secret."

When I set up my permanent residence the bedroom was my secondary masterpiece, rigged with listening devices that only activate when I say a certain phrase or input a certain code into the security centre, which only Trowa and I know. And apart from those devices it is impossible to slip an extra one in.

My primary masterpiece is the Panic Room. Or as I like to call it the Safe Room.

If Trowa wanted to tell me a secret in the bedroom then it was a big one. But more importantly he didn't want anyone to know that it was a big secret. Only Rashid, Trowa and I know about the secrets of the bedroom.

"What is it?" I asked when we were safely in the bedroom.

"Duo still kicks like a mule." Trowa smirked.

"You saw Duo?" I breathed, "I have to tell the others." I rushed for my phone.

"You can't." Trowa caught my hands.

"Why not?"

"Duo is under the impression that if the Preventers, Heero or Wufei find out that I've spoken with him," Trowa's voice was soft, "You'll die. And the rest of us could die as well."

"That's why he ran?" I turned to face Trowa.

"He wants to come home. He wants it so badly. But he's terrified that if he does we'll die. The persons who told him this tell him what to do. And it's illegal. I don't know what it is. But they can't be associated with it. He believes they'll kill him when they're finished with him."

"They can't!" I yelped.

"That's why we've got to work out who it is." Trowa smiled. "Then he can come home."

"He really wants to?"

"Little one," Trowa pulled me into a hug, "When I found him, he swore and knocked me out. He could have killed me. He could have tied me up in some hotel somewhere. Instead he took me with him. He talked to me. And he let me tell him what to do."

"That doesn't sound like Duo." I stared into Trowa's eyes.

"He's dying," Trowa murmured, "He's out in the cold and we can't bring him home until it is safe. I think he'd rather kill himself than risk us."

"That's so Duo." I could feel tears welling up, "Is he alright?"

"He's hurting." Trowa shrugged, "He's lonely. He believes he's going to die on the streets. Emotionally he's a wreck. Physically, he needs a good doctor and nutritionist. He also needs help to detox."

"He's on drugs?"

"Caffeine." Trowa almost growled, "Heavy doses. I'm surprised he's sleeping at all. As far as I can tell, he's not on anything else. Although he probably should be on pain killers."

"He's hurt?" I bit my lip, "How badly was he hurt from L3?"

"I'm not entirely sure," Trowa confessed, pulling me over to the bed, "But he got it treated. Sally would kill the doctor who did it. But it's better than nothing. I had to stitch three more recent wounds for him."

"How bad?"

"I've got photos," Trowa smiled slightly, "Duo doesn't know. That new camera was a godsend. I did get Duo to promise that he'd contact me if he got hurt again. So that I can bandage him up. I also gave him all the cash I had on me."

"You think he'll be hurt again?"

"Yes," Trowa was blunt, "He's gotten at least three times as many scars as he used to have, if not four. He's exhausted, but still on guard. So he's downing energy drinks and coffee like they're water. He's so wired on caffeine, he can barely sleep. He's so sleep deprived he's practically docile. And he hasn't got any hope left."

"Well," I grinned wanly, "That changes now. You show me those pictures. And we start on making a list."

"A list?"

"A list of everyone who knows we were the Pilots," I nodded, "From there we can work out who would have a reason to separate Duo from us and what they would be having him do."

"Good idea."

"And _you_," I told Trowa, "Will make a list of everything you think Duo will need when he comes home. From clothes to therapy."

"I think sleep comes at the top of the list." Trowa sighed, "I sedated him to patch him up and when he came round he was awake for less than a minute before he fell asleep."

"I thought he was on guard?" I frowned.

"He still trusts me." Trowa seemed to be in awe, "We barely ever worked together. And I spent most of my time undercover. But he still trusts me."

"We need to bring him home."

"And we will little one." Trowa pulled me into an embrace, "We'll bring him home and restore him to what he used to be. I don't like a docile Duo."

"We'll try, but some things can't be fixed." I murmured, "He might never be the same. But he _will_ come home. I just wish we could tell the others."

"Duo was very firm on that. He's terrified that we'll get killed."

"Then we'll play by Duo's rules." I conceded, "Until we know who we're up against. But it'll be hard. We've waited so long… Heero's waited so long."

"We'll bring him home." Trowa declared. "We'll bring our Shinigami home, little one."

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Good? Bad?

Please inform me. Constructive criticism encouraged.

Sorry if this is a bit of a Filler Chapter, but Quatre jumped up and down and insisted on it… Yes, the characters write this story. I may tell them where they are going, but they decide the route and when they get there.

Wind dancer1981 – Thanks.

REBD – Thanks for the review.

Anonymous Void – Sorry, but Relena gets on my nerves slightly, sometimes. Also although it's not seen in the series, she and Duo must have had _some_ interaction, as they were both often around Heero during the first part of the War. And as for who got Duo involved? Wait and see.

Lulu – Thanks for the compliment. And as for the whole "who's fastest?", who's to say they didn't sit down and work it out? They needed to know each others strengths and weaknesses.

Whitetiger1589 – Glad you like it. I'm having fun writing it, too.

Windwraith – You think you know, huh? Send me a private message with your suspicions. I'd like to know if I'm leading you directly to the answers or up the garden path. Strangely the last chapter was actually the first chapter I wrote. The rest of this comes from that.

Katerina Shinigami – The questions should be answered in time. But it may take a while. Duo can be _really_ stubborn when he wants to be.

Dyna – Thanks for the compliment. Glad I'm managing to entertain.

HeavyMetal-Chic – I'm trying to keep the intensity up.

Acid Rain – Yeah, Trowa is hard to do well. He's also hard to shut up when he decides to talk. Glad you liked Duo's breakdown.

Daemonmaxwell – Here you go. Glad you're enjoying this.

Raelyn-Mage – You want first dibs? Sorry, I think the Pilots are not going to let you get a chance. Once they figure it out.

Thank you all for your reviews.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

This story was inspired and the first few chapters heavily influenced by cHixOr Neko's work, titled "Sunrise, Come Again"

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Wufei's POV

Seven years, four months, a week and three days. I was torn between hugging Duo when he comes home and hitting him. When, not if. Because if he doesn't come home, Heero is going to commit suicide. Dealing with my partner day in and day out was annoying. Heero spent his time moping that Duo ran, frantically trying to find Duo, getting angry at Duo, and turning down Relena's advances.

That woman gets on my nerves. Every day it seems she is trying to get Heero to date her. Whether by actually asking Heero out or by arranging for him to be her bodyguard to official events. It drives both Heero and me mad.

Ever since Duo was caught on that camera on L3, Heero had been trying to find other cameras with similar shots. I believe he had managed to follow Duo all the way back to the pub they had emerged from. He had also managed to follow Duo forward, until he turned down a different alley.

Seven years and only one sighting. Then again, Duo always was our stealth expert. Add in his knowledge of L2 and he could go to ground and we'd never find him even _if_ we dismantled L2 with him on it. At one time I had been arrogant enough to believe that I was better at stealth. After all, how could I not be, with his loud mouth and outgoing nature. When I woke up to find my entire room booby-trapped by Duo and my katana missing, I conceded to Duo. The fact that he did not damage my katana, but merely placed it on the coffee table, well away from all the destruction in my room, earned him my respect.

Which he was rapidly losing. Duo had to come home.

Meanwhile, I had a case to solve. Or rather Heero and I had a case to solve. We were dealing with what we thought was a serial killer. Over the last few years there had been a worrying trend developing. When we had investigated organised crime or potential terrorist groups and the suspected ringleader had only circumstantial evidence linking him to the crime we had to let him go. Usually less than two months later the ringleader would die. Some of the deaths seemed accidental. Some seemed coincidental. Some were just plain murders. There was a suspicion that someone was acting as a vigilante. Cleaning up the messes that the Preventers were legally unable to touch.

It rankled my pride. All we had needed was a little more _time_. They would have made a mistake. We could have got them legally… Honourably. Justice was done to a certain degree. But for Justice to be accepted it has to be done in the open where all can see.

A little voice in my head always kept on saying that that was stupid. It sounds like Duo. In fact that's what I call it.

'They got money, Fei.' The voice said, 'Ain't nobody going to touch them.'

'I will.'

'And do what? Maybe you can't be bought but others can. Maybe the vigilante is doing the right thing. Huh? Maybe he's getting Justice the only way left.'

Sometimes I hate that voice.

Heero and I had been investigating the case for about two months. We still had no leads. There were never any witnesses or any incriminating forensic evidence left at the scenes. Some of the methods used were so variable that connecting the cases was tentative at best. How could you connect a car accident with an exploding hotel room? If there was a vigilante, I had to give him some credit. Only two people who had died were plausibly collateral. Even the driver in the car accident had survived.

Heero was becoming as aggravated as I in solving this case. There were no clues, no evidence that could possibly point in any direction. Half the time I wasn't even sure there _was_ a connection.

Then the phone rang.

"Chang." I was blunt.

"Agent Chang," Lady Une was my caller, "In four hours there is a shuttle arriving at the Space-Port. The man aboard it being escorted by Preventers claims to be a witness to one of the deaths you are investigating. I want full details."

"Yes, Commander."

A witness? Alive? And for which death? There was practically a dead person nearly every month, sometimes two, for at least the past two years.

"We have a witness." I told Heero.

"Could be the break we need." Heero smiled slightly. Halleluiah, as Sally would say. He was not depressed. Although he was annoyed by our case. If we could have positively connected two of the murders I would have felt so much more secure about our position on the case.

The witness was a grubby, little man. Not a street-person, but merely lacking in good hygiene skills. He was definitely nervous when we began the interview, but trying to cover it with bravado. Then again among the Preventers we're known as the 'Iron Faced Pair' according to Sally. We're Une's Terriers. Once we get our teeth into a case we don't stop until we've solved it. At least that's our reputation. Separately Heero has a reputation for being the coldest and deadliest person in the entire sphere. Mine is for being able to find and spot even the slightest clue or loophole. Personally I think Duo would spot loopholes in statements better, but I learnt from him.

"So what did you want to tell us?" I asked first.

"I saw two of your murders." The man replied almost smugly. I think his name was Steve Jorvik.

"Which ones?" Heero pressed.

He gave two names. If I recalled correctly the first had died in a rather spectacular hotel room explosion and was believed to be the boss of a gang that had been picked up on drugs and prostitution less than a month earlier. The second was believed to have been the ringleader of a terrorist group and had died in a seemingly random mugging.

"Same guy both times." Jorvik smirked, "I saw him sneak out of the suite and I actually saw him slit the other guy's throat."

"Why didn't you come forward earlier?" I frowned. The most recent of the two deaths was over five months ago.

"Thought someone else would have seen him." Jorvik shrugged, "And this guy's not human. Some kind of demon maybe. I got scared. Hid."

"Then why come forward now?" Heero growled.

"You started the case." Jorvik was oddly pleased. Something was up. It felt like he was lying, "Everyone knows that once Une's Terriers start on a case it gets solved. And no harm comes to the witnesses. I'm safe now."

"What did he look like?" I demanded.

"Real little guy," Jorvik declared, "Moved like a demon though. Dressed in black. Long brown hair, in some kind of braid. And I swear his eyes glowed purple."

The magic words it seemed. Heero turned and stalked out the room. Damn it! I addressed Jorvik.

"Wait here. We'll be back soon." I followed Heero.

He was easy to find. In our office slamming pieces of furniture around and kicking walls. The cleaning service was not going to like it. _I_ wasn't liking it. I had had all those papers neatly sorted before Yuy went on his rampage.

"You don't know it's him." I stated.

"Oh, it's Duo." Heero spat, "Who else could kill that many people and _not_ have any links between them. Duo can get _really_ inventive when he feels like it."

"True." I admitted, "But we can't be sure."

"A brown braid and purple eyes?" Heero stared at me, "How many other people would have that _exact_ combination?" All too few, I knew. "And a demon? You haven't seen Duo in a knife fight. He's deadly. A real demon… It's Duo. It's Shinigami. Though I don't know what he's thinking. He told me he never wanted to be Shinigami again."

"Well something changed." I sighed, "Currently I'm torn between hitting Maxwell over the head and giving him a hug when he returns."

"I'm breaking his legs." Heero stated coldly, "So he can't run or hide."

That was probably a little extreme. Although judging by Heero's mood, he would have done it.

"He's got a team set up." Heero declared.

"You sure?" I frowned.

"Some of these names," Heero growled, "Were never released to the public. Not even whispers. That means he's either hacked our network or he's got a mole."

"Could he have hacked the network?" I don't know that much about hacking nor Duo's skills at hacking.

"I'm not sure," Heero paused, "I caught every backdoor _I_ could find, but Duo thinks differently. There might be a way to get in."

"We can't be sure it's Maxwell." I repeated.

"It's him." Heero glowered, "I don't know what's going on in that tiny little brain of his. But it's Duo."

"What evidence do we have that this…" I was interrupted by a beeping noise.

"The silent alarm?" Heero grabbed his gun and checked it.

I moved to the intercom.

"Status on the intruder." I demanded.

"Location unknown," Security answered, "Believed to be in your wing. Don't cause a panic."

"Roger." I nodded as Heero handed me my gun. Instinctively I checked it.

We emerged from our office. Glancing around it was clear that the other offices had been warned as well. Every Preventer was alert, looking for the stranger among them. There were no details. For all we knew the intruder could be dressed as one of us. Heero and I split up to clear floors.

The armoury was clear and untouched to all appearances. As was evidence lock-up. Forensics was guarded by the ferocious Agent Willows and her team. I seriously pity any person who believes it is safe to intrude on their realm with malicious intent.

Sally declared that her infirmary was clear. Again, I pity anyone who intrudes there. Sally protects her injured with all the ferocity of a mother bear.

"Well, where the hell is he?" Heero snapped, when I met back up with him. We had cleared nearly every floor apart from the one our offices were on.

"He's got to be on this floor." I pointed out.

"But there's nothing here." Heero countered, "Only offices and…"

A gunshot rang out, interrupting Heero.

"The witness!" I yelped.

We ran to the interrogation room. He couldn't be dead. If he was dead, Heero was going to lose it. He couldn't be dead. He was our most recent link to Duo, no matter how tentative the link. He couldn't be dead. It wouldn't be fair. It would be an Injustice. Seven years and only two links? One dead…

No, both dead. Steve Jorvik lay on the floor. A bullet hole between his eyes. Blood and brains splattered around the small room. Forensics were going to have fun. But the cleaning staff were going to complain.

Heero's knees gave out on him. He didn't have to speak for me to know what he was thinking. Was every move we made to find Duo going to be countered? We were seven years into the search and we still had not found him. It was as if some deity did not wish us to find our missing member… our missing brother. I was starting to think that I'd join Heero with breaking Duo's legs.

"Spread out!" I ordered the few Preventers that had been checking this floor with us. Most of the Preventers were positioned on the more high risk floors. "Snap out of it Yuy!" I growled, "He could be going after someone else."

That got Heero moving. He rose and pulled out his gun.

'Screw stealth!' Duo-in-my-head declared. 'Everyone will have heard that shot!'

We spread out. I grabbed my phone and contacted Noin, who was leading the search.

"He just killed a witness." I snapped.

"Can you see him?" Noin pressed.

"He must have gone to another floor."

Heero tapped me on my arm. As I turned to face him, he raised a finger to his lips. His head was cocked as if listening for something.

"I'll call you back." I hung up on Noin.

I stood next to Heero, both of us intently listening. Then I heard the noise that must have alerted Heero initially. A tiny creak. I glanced back at the interrogation room. There in the ceiling was an air-vent.

"The ceiling?" Heero frowned at me.

"The air ducts." I murmured back. "I'll call Noin. She can use the bioterrorism protocols."

I went for my phone, only to jump as Heero fired his gun into the ceiling, merely seconds after another tiny creak. For a few moments there was nothing. Then a tiny blood drop fell through the hole to land on the carpet, followed swiftly by another larger drop. Slowly blood stained the carpet.

"I'll tell Noin we've got him." I stated.

Then Heero lost all his sense. He unleashed another five rounds into the ceiling. A scream came from the duct, before being muffled.

"Yuy!" I yelped, "What are you doing?"

"Making sure he doesn't get away." Heero replied holstering his gun, "Call me when they extract him." He walked off, entering our office and shutting the door behind him.

I blinked in shock. Okay, as Duo would say, he needed some serious therapy. It was almost as if he was back in the war. As if he had just destroyed an OZ or Alliance military facility. He just didn't care.

I called Noin and told her we had the intruder pinned in the air ducts. Then I called Sally and asked her to come as it was obvious that the intruder was going to need treatment.

"Wufei!" Trowa yelled. I turned to face him as his long legs ate up the distance between us. I stared in surprise, Trowa wasn't meant to even get this far into the building without a pass, which I could tell he wasn't wearing.

"Where is he?" Trowa demanded.

"Heero's in our office." I answered, glancing down at the slowly increasing blood pool on the carpet. That was going to need to be replaced.

Trowa stared at the blood for a moment, before turning to stare at the ceiling.

"Oh my god!" Trowa shouted, "Get him out of there!"

'Apparently Heero isn't the only member of the Pilots who needs therapy.' Duo-in-my-head declared, as we watched Trowa grab a chair from the interrogation room.

Trowa stood on the chair in the corridor, underneath where the intruder was located and started to tear ceiling tiles away.

"Barton!" I sighed, "What's the matter? Have you lost your mind?"

"Duo!" Trowa ignored me as he banged on the air duct, "Duo? Can you hear me? Say something, damn it!"

I staggered backwards, until the wall stopped me. My legs were barely able to support my weight. No. It couldn't be true. It couldn't be. We couldn't have found Duo, only to have killed him. Trowa had to be wrong. But my heart told me that he wasn't.

Things were adding up. Both Trowa and Quatre had been more secretive than normal. I had put it down to them planning something to cheer Heero up as Quatre was wont to do every so often. Or possibly some big take-over. It wasn't as if Quatre didn't have to keep secrets in his business. And telling Trowa was his habit.

"Duo!" Trowa's voice and his banging on the side of the metal vent was the only thing audible. Every person had frozen in place, staring at Trowa. "Duo! Please! Talk to me! Duo! Duo!"

His shouts were getting frantic. More of a begging plea than anything else. My knees were giving way beneath me as I was overwhelmed with horror. I sank to the floor. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Heero peer out of our office at the noise.

He stalked over to us and roughly pushed Trowa off the chair. Trowa stumbled slightly. That more than anything confirmed for me how distraught Trowa was. He really believed that it was Duo in that ducting. Some of his famous balance had left him.

Heero took Trowa's place on the chair and sliding his fingers through the bullet holes started to tear the metal. More blood joined the stains on the carpet, this time from Heero's fingers.

"What the hell?" I heard Sally ask me. I tried to speak, but my throat was too dry… too tight to even whisper. I hadn't even heard her arrive. I couldn't turn to look at her. My eyes were fixed on the bullet holes in the air ducts, despairing about what lay just beyond them.

The metal strained and broke, allowing Heero to reach into the duct. I heard a sob… Heero was crying? Heero's arms came out of the duct, a bundle in them. And trailing behind the bundle was a thick brown rope of hair.

"Allah, no!" I heard Quatre's voice whisper; the noise loud in the eerie silence.

There was a choked cry. It took me a moment to realize that it came from my lips. I heard a second one from Trowa.

Heero climbed off the chair and sank to the floor, holding Duo as close to him as possible. My limbs seemed to move of their own accord as I crawled to them. Trowa and Quatre both met me there. We seemed to sink towards each other, in some strange bastardisation of a group hug. Each of us reaching out to assure ourselves that Duo really was there.

My hand settled on Duo's neck, feeling the thready pulse. He was alive, at least for now. Though if we lost him, we would lose Heero too. I had no doubt that if Duo died, Heero would commit suicide. Duo had to survive. We were reunited at last. We were the five Gundam Pilots once again. Duo couldn't die. He wasn't allowed to.

I don't know how long we huddled together for, but it felt like forever and yet felt like less than a heartbeat. It was Sally inserting herself into the group that startled us. Heero growled like the terriers we are named after, as Sally tried to separate Duo from him.

"Sally needs to treat Duo." Quatre managed to whisper, "She's not going to hurt him. She's going to make him better. Sally's going to fix him."

I hoped Quatre was right. I hoped that my wife _could_ fix Duo. I did not want to lose two friends. No matter _how_ much of an _idiot_ Duo had been. He had to survive. He just had to. We couldn't lose him. Not after everything we'd been through.

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Good? Bad?

Please inform me. Constructive criticism encouraged.

Lulu – You get the tape and I'll try and get them to sit down.

Raelyn-Mage – I hope you're patient… I'm still waiting too.

Toraus – Thank you, I'm glad you like it.

Wind Dancer1981 – Oh, yes. Things are _definitely_ heating up.

Anonymous Void – I'm trying not to let OCs to take over this story. But it shouldn't be obvious either… tell me if it does become obvious.

Whitetiger1589 – Quatre would expect Trowa to just come out and say "I've found Duo", and describing Duo as skittish wouldn't fit with the image he has of Duo.

Katerina Shinigami – Quatre's a genius… but he's not perfect. And yes describing Duo as stubborn is a little like saying that the sky is blue.

Lok's Katsmeow – Thank you for the compliment.

Leora Chan – I have no intention of leaving this story half done. It was inspired by a half finished story that has left me on tenterhooks for months. I do not intend to do that to someone else.

SisterFreaks – I am afraid that writing the POVs of minor characters would be a little beyond me at the moment. It would require a great deal of research into the mindset of the character. For the moment I will stick to the Pilots. But thank you for the suggestion.

Knoteach – Thank you for reviewing. I intend to keep people guessing for now about as much as possible. It's _so_ much fun.

TheOneThatIsAddictedToHPfics – Thank you. I am glad you like this.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Heero's POV

Two hours, thirty nine minutes and seven seconds. Duo had been in surgery for two hours, thirty nine minutes and seven seconds. Surgery for the injuries _I_ had given him. Five bullet holes and a scrape caused by a bullet. I had shot him in the arm, twice in the leg, once in the stomach, once in his chest very close to his heart, but just missing his lungs. And one bullet had scraped his hip. We didn't know how serious the wounds were. Sally had just given us a basic overview as Duo was prepped for surgery.

All four of us were in the waiting room. We hadn't left since Duo went into surgery. I was still in shock. I had _shot_ Duo. A tiny part of me was in hysterics. After all this time I had finally returned what Duo had given me the first time we met, with interest. Only where he had shot to warn and injure, I had almost killed him.

Seven years, four months, a week and three days I had been searching for Duo. And I find him by shooting him. I could see myself in the steel doors around the waiting room. There was blood on my uniform and my skin. Duo's blood. I couldn't bring myself to wash it off. It was my penance. I had hurt Duo. My beautiful Duo. I had nearly killed my beautiful Duo. He still might die.

Quatre had tried to talk to me at first. But I hadn't heard his words. Trowa had silenced him with a touch. I didn't look at them. Nor did I look at Wufei. My eyes were fixed on the doors. I don't think I had moved since I had sat down on the chair.

"Heero," I heard Quatre's voice, "You need to drink something." He was kneeling in front of me and pushing a Styrofoam cup into my hands.

"I killed him." I whispered.

"Not yet." Quatre replied. "He's not dead yet."

"How can you tell?"

"My heart tells me." Quatre murmured, "Just as it tells me you're hurting."

"Of course I'm hurting!" I snapped, "I _shot_ Duo!"

"You didn't know." Quatre tried to comfort me.

"And that makes it better?" I countered, then I paused, "How did you know?" I turned to look at Trowa. If Trowa hadn't done what he had done, Duo would have _died_ in that vent, because of my foolishness. Because of my weakness.

"Quatre." Trowa shrugged.

"I felt his pain." Quatre told me, "I've been linked to all of you ever since the War. I feel you that much clearer. And you each feel different. I recognise your feelings. I can't feel over great distances. But Duo was in range. For the first time in seven years. He's been so careful."

"But you knew he was alive anyway." Wufei cut across. "I saw it in your eyes Barton. You've seen Maxwell recently."

"What?!" I stared.

"Care to explain?" Wufei's voice was almost pleasant, but I could hear the undertones. He was furious.

"L2." Trowa was looking at his feet, "On my way back from the circus. He told me that if I told you or the Preventers, or anyone other than Quatre. Quatre would die and we stood a good chance of dying as well. He believed it. He's been staying away for our safety."

"Blackmail?" Wufei breathed.

"He wouldn't tell me what he was doing," Trowa wasn't looking up, "Said he wasn't allowed to. Wouldn't give me names or any real details. He only said that if what he did came out, some very important people would be in trouble."

"And you let him go?" I demanded.

"I felt that if I brought Duo back by force," Trowa sighed, "He would try and run again. If we restrained him, he would rather kill himself than allow us to be harmed. I made him promise to contact me if he got hurt so that I could patch him up."

"Then we made a list." Quatre came in, "We thought that if we found out who was blackmailing Duo we could get them arrested. Then Duo could come home."

"You were trying?" I think my voice cracked.

"Yes." Quatre nodded, "I wasn't going to leave Duo out there doing Allah knows what."

"Murdering." Wufei stated coldly.

"What?" Quatre stared.

"We've been investigating a possible serial vigilante," Wufei elaborated, "Killing those people that the Preventers did not have enough solid evidence to arrest. Our one and only witness described a small person with long brown, in a braid, and purple eyes. He called him a demon."

"It does fit." Quatre muttered, "Though I need more information…"

"We can't be sure which deaths are coincidence or related." Wufei sighed, "If it was Maxwell, he's been very careful."

"You have doubts?" Quatre frowned.

"The two murders that our witness saw were on L1 and L4." Wufei replied, "The witness didn't look to be of sufficient status to have travelled between the two. Also Maxwell emerging from a room which later explodes is only circumstantial evidence. And I am of little doubt that if Maxwell did commit a murder and disguise it as a mugging he would _not_ have performed the act where there were any witnesses. For all that he acts the part, Maxwell is no fool."

"You believe he was lying?" Quatre asked.

"I could make a good case for it." Wufei nodded.

The conversation continued, but I wasn't listening. Duo was fighting for his life. What was it he had said on Barge?

"If I'm gonna die, it seem appropriate for you to do it. Here, go right ahead and shoot me."

And now I had finally done it. I had shot him. My mind seemed to be stuck on that point. I had shot Duo. I had _shot_ Duo! I had shot _Duo_!

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Three hours, six minutes and forty three seconds. And no change. No sign of anything.

Then Sally came through the doors, pulling her surgeons cap from her head. I was by her side before the doors closed, the others only seconds behind me.

"Well?" Quatre demanded. I couldn't speak.

"It was close," Sally sighed, "But he made it."

"How close?" Wufei frowned.

"I'd say he was a cat the number of lives he keeps on using." Sally answered, "But he should recover quite quickly, based on how fast you lot bounce back."

"He'll live?" The words slipped from my lips without my brain intervening.

"He should be fine." Sally shrugged, "Although I _would_ like to know what he's been up to. The number of scars he's gained… And if I _ever_ find the doctor who patched up his last chest wound… Well, he won't be a doctor anymore."

"That bad?" Wufei paled slightly.

"I could do better in a field hospital." Sally growled, "No, wait… I _did _do better in a field hospital. It's just about passable. Hell, the treatment for his arms and leg was done better."

"When can we see him?" Quatre asked the question I was dying to know.

"He's currently in post-operative care." Sally replied, "We don't allow people to see patients just after intensive surgery. It's upsetting. I'd advise you wait about three hours. By then he'll have been moved to a private room with less monitoring."

"Unless you want Yuy to destroy the hospital," Wufei placed a calm hand on Sally, "You'd best let us see him."

"True." Sally sighed, "But I warn you most of the machines are purely precautionary. It is _not_ as bad as it will look. He'll be taken off most of the machines in three hours. Although he shouldn't wake up for another thirty six hours."

"Any particular reason why?" Quatre frowned.

"Because I sedated him with a dose that would knock most people half-way to Tuesday." Sally was smug, "Like you, I'm not letting him run off again. And his system can take it. By that time, he should be healing and better able to put up with the strain of answering questions. Of course, he won't be coming off the morphine for at least another three days after that…"

"Is that legal?" Quatre stared like he had never seen Sally before. Wufei looked oddly proud.

"Legal?" Sally grinned, "Yes… Well, it's not illegal. Ethical? Moral? Not a chance in hell. But it is the right thing to do. I'll take you to look at him. But you can't enter the room. I don't care how desperate you are to touch him… While he is in this hospital he is my patient and I will _not_ allow anything that could impede his recovery. Is that understood?"

"Of course." Quatre nodded.

"Thank you." Wufei bowed.

"Stop that!" Sally playfully hit Wufei, "I'd do the same for any of my patients. If you really want to thank me though…"

"I will buy the strawberries and cream." Wufei agreed.

"I don't think I want to know." Quatre looked between the two. Only to cause Sally to burst into peals of laughter. That was when I decided that _I_ didn't want to know either.

"Take me to Duo." I ordered.

"Of course." Sally mock bowed, "This way milords."

Sally led us through the maze of corridors that every hospital seems to contain. I have seen far too many hospital corridors for my liking. But then I hated them with more vengeance than I have ever felt for an inanimate object.

We stopped outside a small room. Next to the door there was a large window through which we could look.

Sally had been right; the number of machines around Duo was frightening. He was on a ventilator, heart monitor, IV and several machines that I couldn't tell you what their purpose was. But I wasn't paying them much attention. In the midst of all those wires and tubes was a face I had longed to see for over seven years. His eyes were closed as if in sleep. His braid lay across the pillow and dangling off the bed. He was dressed in a hospital gown and covered with a light sheet. Bandages could be seen around his arms and his upper chest, but most were out of sight. It was probably the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The only thing that could improve it was if he would open his eyes so that I could see the violet. I could hear the wondrous sound of a beep over the whooshing noise of the ventilator. Duo's heartbeat. Steady and sure.

I tuned out the others conversation and laid my hands on the glass. Oh, how I wanted to be able to enter that room. To run my fingers down Duo's cheeks. To touch his braid. To feel him and reassure myself that he really was there. But I would _not_ do anything that would endanger his recovery. It was my fault that he lay on that bed. It was my fault that he got hurt.

Before the Eve War the worst thing I had ever done was the destruction of the base at New Edwards that killed nearby civilians… Mary and her owner. I swore it would be the last time I would make a mistake that would cost innocent lives.

After the Eve War the worst thing I had ever done was shoot that plane and kill those delegates on board. I paid retribution for that. And Trowa stood back and let me. I think he understood. We have never discussed it, and to my knowledge none of the others know about it.

I had planned on never making such a horrendous mistake again. But I had. And I had put the life of the first person, since Odin, who didn't want me to be an emotionless soldier at risk. I had nearly killed Duo. I leant against the glass, my knees barely able to keep me up.

It felt like I couldn't move. My brain kept on sending signals to my limbs, but they weren't responding. I had tunnel-vision focused on the small figure in the bed.

After seven years, four months, a week and three days Duo was finally home.

Duo was home.

He was _home_.

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Good? Bad?

Please inform me. Constructive criticism encouraged.

Anonymous Void – Like I said, I read Agatha Christie's. Have done for years. _Anything_ could be a salient clue.

Wind dancer1981 – Thank you.

Toraus – It may be sad, but it was fun to write.

Illusion-Factory – Yes, that one inspired this one. And I'm glad you think I'm doing well.

Dark Reborn – Oh, it's dangerous alright. And I'm glad you liked the chapter.

Loki's Katsmeow – Thanks.

Lulu – I'm smoothing out? Cool! Thanks for the compliment.

Katerina Shinigami – Ah, no. I was inspired for this story by another fanfic, called "Sunrise, Come Again". The last chapter was heavily inspired by it. However the author has not posted any further, so from here on in it's all me.

Pattyard – *hands over tissues* Feel free to cry. I do so often. I'm not allowed to watch half my mates DVDs, because I cry at them.

Solitairesworld – Stay clear of my oldest works. I kinda went through a Mary-Sue phase. I was young. But I'm glad you like my current work.

BlindDreamer2009 – cHixOr Neko's "Sunrise, Come Again", currently listed in your favourites, heavily inspired this story, but it is unfinished.

Raelyn-Mage – Glad you liked. I see you suffer from the same problem as me. Currently on edge for updates for about seven stories.

Ronin101 – Yes, I stole "Prey with an edge" from Sunhawk. Love her pieces. And no, I haven't posted this before. Just been heavily inspired by cHixOr Neko's "Sunrise, Come Again"

Leora chan – Small problem with a Duo POV, he knows what is going on. Can't show my hand just yet. It will come… In time. However glad you like.

Thank you for all your reviews, I have once again beaten my record with 14 reviews for this chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Wufei's POV

"No guards?" Quatre frowned at Sally. "I would have thought…"

"I've got that bed tricked nine ways to Sunday," Sally replied softly, "There's no plausible way that Duo is leaving that bed, never mind this room or the hospital without me knowing it. I had a quiet word with Noin, she agrees with me."

"This is Duo." Trowa pointed out.

"He's also drugged," Sally countered, "And he can only disable what he knows about. He'll have to be restrained when he's in a private room. But I should be able to keep security low."

It was times like this that I remembered exactly why I loved Sally. Not that I didn't the rest of the time, but this made it clearer. She understood. She realized that we needed the reassurance that Duo wasn't going anywhere, tempered with the dismay at having to put security around him. At not being _able_ to trust him. Trust he who is and always will be our brother. She knew what we couldn't vocalize. We needed discrete security. So that we could pretend it wasn't necessary. So that we could prevent Duo from running.

I knew that Sally deserved more than the strawberries and cream that she had requested but also the Cointreau to go with it.

"Thank you." I murmured.

"There is no need." Sally smiled, "I missed him too. Although if you find out who harmed him before today, I will willingly forget my Hippocratic Oath."

Quatre laid a gentle hand on Sally's arm and pulled her away from the room. I followed, leaving Trowa to watch Heero. All three of us couldn't be sure if Heero would do some foolish thing at the moment. He was too unstable.

Sally seemed to know what Quatre wanted. My wife is ever perceptive. She found us an empty consulting room.

"How bad?" Quatre was blunt.

"I'll tell you that Duo must be a cat." Sally breathed, "But…"

"I have durable Power of Attorney," Quatre countered, "And I'm on record as his next of kin. I give permission for Wufei to hear this. Does that cover all salient points?" I smiled as Quatre covered Sally's issues with his politician's eye.

"Perfectly," Sally grinned, "Sorry, but I have to follow the rules. For Duo's sake if nothing else. There is no-one in the entire Sphere who knows how to treat Pilots better than I."

"If only because you've had the experience." I snorted.

"True." Sally smirked, "As for your question… Before the bullets, Duo was in moderate condition. Malnourished and still healing from previous wounds."

"I know that." Quatre nodded, "Trowa stitched his leg and arms when he spoke with Duo."

"That explains the competency," Sally muttered, before continuing on, "Heero's first bullet caught Duo's left arm. By the way the blood was smeared; I'd say Duo initially tried to stop the blood flow. I don't know in what order the next few bullets hit, but the one in his chest clipped his aorta. The one in his stomach opened his intestines causing him to have a high risk of infection. I've done all I can in that respect. Of the two in his right leg, one missed the femoral artery by a hair and the other was stuck in his calf. The last bullet scrapped his ribs and will heal easily."

"What are his odds?" Quatre pressed.

"Normally?" Sally shrugged, "I'd say he might recover, but given the location of the wounds he'd have reduced mobility and a limp. Given you boys' tremendous ability to recover, the _only_ thing I will _ever_ be grateful to the Mad Five for… I would say he's got a seventy percent chance of complete recovery. _If_ he doesn't have any complications."

"Likelihood of those?" I asked, knowing that Sally wouldn't lie to protect our sensibilities.

"Fifty-fifty." Sally replied, "I'll feel better when he comes round from the sedative. He technically died three times on the table. And even better a week from now. But I've taken every precaution possible."

"Thank you." Quatre closed his eyes in relief.

"No need," Sally wrapped an arm around Quatre, "Like I said, I missed him too. It would have taken me a lot less time to break through this block-head's barriers with him around." She punched me during her last sentence.

"Hey!" I protested, "Your barriers were just as bad, woman!"

She laughed, and Quatre joined in with the laughter. I found myself following. Duo was home. It didn't matter that he may never recover to full strength, as long as he was home. It was selfish of me. But I would rather have Duo confined to a wheelchair and among us, than fully capable and away from us. I did not need Duo to be capable physically, it was his sharp wit and carefree smiles I had missed the most. I would miss his pranks if he could not recover. I would mourn the loss of his fighting skills. But he would be home. And that was all that mattered to me at that time.

It was still all that mattered to me, when thirty six hours later we all were waiting in Duo's room for him to awaken. Heero had taken a seat on Duo's right, holding the braided boy's hand. Quatre held Duo's left. I sat at the end of the bed; while Trowa leant against the wall by the door. Sally sat in a corner, knowing, without being told, that we needed to all be there, and feel like we were alone.

In some ways we would be affirming our bonds as brothers.

I tried to ignore the padded leather restraints that locked Duo's wrists and ankles down to the bed. I tried to pretend that the IV, heart monitor and nasal cannula did not exist. I tried to disregard the bandages that were visible and the knowledge that there were others hidden under cloth.

But I could not.

Duo's eyelids started to flutter and his fingers began to twitch. His rise into wakefulness was slow, but I believe that during that time he was the only person in the room who was breathing.

Finally, glazed violet eyes were visible. Unfocused at first due to the anaesthetic. Despite the careful positioning of us in the room, I was the first person Duo saw.

"Hey Fei," His voice was sleepy, slurred, "Beautiful wedding."

"You saw?" My voice was choked.

"Binoculars," Duo murmured, "Glass roof. Popcorn. You hang onto her. She's a swell lady. A real gem."

He succumbed to exhaustion.

"Duo!" Heero yelped.

"He's fine." Sally sighed, "Doing better than I would expect."

"Really?" Quatre was hopeful.

"He stayed awake long enough to talk." Sally shrugged, "He managed a coherent conversation, even if it wasn't very long. He's just very tired. Let him sleep. He's not drugged anymore. It's all natural."

"He'll be fine?" Heero sounded like he was about to cry. I had never heard that tone from him before.

"He'll be just fine," Sally smiled, "I'm willing to bet that he'll wake up in another four or so hours. And he'll stay awake longer then."

"Wufei?" Quatre seemed to notice my expression.

"He came." I managed to croak out, tears trying to escape from my eyes.

"What?" Quatre stared.

"Didn't you hear?" I whispered, "He watched the wedding. The building had a glass roof. He must have perched on a nearby building and watched."

"It was snowing, Wufei." Trowa pointed out, "He'd have been soaked and frozen to the bone."

"He said he watched." I repeated, "Therefore he watched."

"I thought I…" Quatre breathed.

"You thought what, Quatre?" I demanded.

"At your wedding," Quatre elaborated, "I thought I heard Duo. I didn't think much of it, because he wasn't there… But sometimes, I get more than feelings. Sometimes I get a stray thought. Never much. And it's very rare."

"What did he say?" Trowa asked what we were all wondering.

"'That's how you do it, Wuffers. You hang onto her.'" Quatre stated, "I just thought it was my mind supplying what Duo would have said."

"Why was Duo so open?" Trowa turned to Sally, "When I last saw him, he was all jumpy and paranoid. Then he just comes out and says something like that."

"The drugs." Sally answered, "They can really play havoc with your thinking processes."

"He was also half asleep." Quatre reminded, "Duo's always been slightly more open when he's rising from or falling asleep."

"We should let him rest." Sally informed us.

"I'm not leaving." Heero declared.

"We wouldn't expect you to." Quatre smiled, "We'll take shifts. Heero you can have the next eight hours. Then one of us will replace you."

"Affirmative." Heero nodded. Though I could see the truth in his face, if Duo hadn't woken up by then, despite my wife's words, Heero would not be leaving that room, until Duo had awoken.

"We'll go to the cafeteria." Quatre suggested, as he led the rest of us out the room.

As we walked down the corridor Quatre carried on talking.

"Then I'll have to contact Howard. And get the Maganacs to swear that they won't break Duo's legs…"

"They said that?" I stared, glad that Heero hadn't heard it. Then again, he had been threatening the same thing less than three days ago.

"For the past seven years." Trowa nodded, "There was a short lived period where they suggested dumping him in the middle of their desert village. And the other period where they suggested chaining him to a bed…"

"What were they thinking?" Sally sighed.

"Partially that Duo called them and me Ali-Baba and the forty thieves at one point." Quatre stated. "They didn't take to it too kindly."

"He called them that?" Sally snorted.

"To their faces," Quatre smiled, "That started the second ever 'Hunt Duo' game in the village. Which they lost. Spectacularly."

"I can imagine." Sally laughed.

We started to trade stories about Duo. Over the last seven years, we had done this many a time. But then it had been bittersweet, a remembrance of what we didn't have. Now it was less so. Though I feared that Duo would be snatched from us by the courts for the crimes that he was accused of by the dead Jorvik and Jorvik's murder. For there was no doubt that it was Duo, who had committed that crime.

But on whose orders? Who was the Mastermind behind these attacks? I had little doubt that if Duo had said he was being ordered then he was being ordered. We had to solve the mystery, before Duo was officially arrested and tried. Just seeing him restrained on the bed made me feel sick. It also made me feel like a traitor.

And I was. We all were. Duo had initially opened up to us. He had taken the first step towards friendship… making himself vulnerable. And all we had done was ridicule him for it. I had called him weak. Nataku, I had called him weak! Then to compound the wrongs I had spent the last seven years cursing Duo. Blaming him for running away.

And he had been trying to protect us. From whom we did not know. He had been _killing_ for us. And while I had very little doubt that the witness was a plant committing perjury. I also had very little doubt that he had actually committed those murders. I once heard that the greatest show of love that a person could do was to die for those they loved, but that is foolish. The greatest show of love is to kill for those you love, even though you would rather never kill again.

Duo loved us. I knew that as firmly as I knew my own ancestry. He would die for us. He would kill for us. He had killed for us.

"Trowa," I turned to the tallest of us Pilots, "I want every detail you got from Maxwell. If we are going to make sure that he does not go to trial. I want to make a solid case for coercion."

"Duo won't say anything." Trowa countered, "Most of the questions I asked him he answered with 'I can't say'."

"Then we'll have to puzzle it out from the clues he has left us." I declared, "I'll get his bag from evidence lock-up."

"Don't try to open it." Quatre instructed, "He bobby-traps them. I only know one method of opening it. And it won't work."

"Why not?" I frowned.

"Surely you could open it." Sally was confused as well.

"Duo once told me that there were three different methods of opening his bag," Quatre explained, "Each method only works if he seals it that particular way. Otherwise it just explodes. The method _I_ know involves using his cross as a key."

"And he left his cross behind." I sighed, "Does anyone else know a method?"

"Heero might." Trowa suggested.

"True," I agreed, "They did do several joint missions. I'll go grab the bag before Agent Willows and her crew cause an explosion."

"She's very careful." Sally countered, "And it'll have been given to Greggo."

"I should be back soon." I informed them, "Don't let Heero get too enthusiastic. We all know his feelings towards Maxwell."

"Wufei," Quatre glanced at me, "Why do you always refer to Duo as Maxwell? You call us by our given names. Why not him?"

"He has not given me permission yet." I replied, turning and leaving.

"He wouldn't mind." Quatre called after me.

"I still need to hear it." I murmured to myself.

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Good? Bad?

Please inform me. Constructive criticism encouraged.

Raelyn-Mage – Yes, the fun begins. I hate hospitals. Not that I've been in many. I just always get lost.

Toraus – Just wait. Lots more fun in store.

Anonymous Void – Must look into Hemmingway's books. I'm from the UK. Agatha Christie is known as one of our most famous crime-fiction writers. She is also known as the 'Queen of Crime'. You may have heard of two of her most famous characters: Miss Jane Marple and Hercule Poirot. Both of whom have had several TV series made about them. I grew up reading and watching these stories. Never lost any of the appeal. Give them a try.

Katerina Shinigami – Yes, extremely inspired. I got fed up waiting for an update. So I 'borrowed' the basic plot and went off at a tangent. Thanks for the compliment.

Whitetiger1589 – Chaos? Oh there's going to be chaos. Although I wouldn't give Heero any hugs right now. He's a little temperamental.

Sarah999 – Glad you like it.

Christy – Thank you.

TenshiNanashi – I love drama. Although if you start humming the 'Death March' I'm going to dissolve into giggles. I hum it going into exams. Freaks everyone else out something silly! Got into the habit a while back. Doesn't have the same connotations for me.

Wind Dancer1981 – Oh I have _no_ intention to stop, believe you me.

Leora chan – Yes, this should be quite a long story. And Heero? Well, he's just about keeping his temper under control.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Heero's POV

Seven years, four months, one week and three days for Duo to come home. Thirteen minutes, nineteen seconds to get him to hospital. Three hours, six minutes and forty three seconds for surgery. Thirty six hours unconsciousness. Less than half a glorious minute of consciousness. Then another six hours, thirty nine minutes, twelve seconds of sleep.

I kept hold of his hand while he slept. I wanted to wake him. To see those beautiful violet eyes of his again. To hear his voice. Even if they were drowsy from the morphine in his system. Sally had put him on morphine instead of any other pain-medication as she knew we all had varying degrees of immunity to all of the more common analgesics. As with the development of different pain-killers, morphine was rarely used nowadays.

I remembered from the war that morphine always had a much stronger sedative effect on Duo than would normally be expected. I had never told anyone this. So I was the only one who knew that Duo would sleep for longer and more soundly than expected. He would also be extremely lethargic when he awoke. There were no long terms effects. Duo's system just couldn't stand morphine that well. I had only discovered the fact when during the war after Duo and I had been on a joint mission and he had gotten injured. The only pain-killer I had easily been able to lay my hands on had been morphine. That had been the quietest two days I had ever spent in Duo's company while not on a mission.

As I was the only one who knew, I was the only one who knew that the restraining straps around Duo's wrists and ankles were completely unnecessary. Given the dose of morphine that Duo was on, he would be lucky if he could concentrate for very long on anything. Never mind escaping or even the reason why he needed to. It had to be part of the reason that Duo said what he had said to Wufei.

There was a small part of me that told me Duo would be in that half-aware state that sleep-deprivation is used to achieve for interrogation. It was this part of me that said I should use this weakness on Duo's part to find out the truth behind the last seven years. To learn of everything that had happened. I was ashamed of this part. Duo was… _is_ my friend. He had never lied to me.

My fingers stroked his cheek. I smiled as he unconsciously leant into the touch. Duo always craved human contact. It took every ounce of control in me not to steal a kiss from his lips. It was only the fact that I wanted Duo to know that it was me and that I loved him that prevented me from doing so. That had not stopped me from kissing his forehead, though.

His fingers twitched in my grasp. He started to stir. I watched intently as he opened his eyes slowly. The violet irises were drowsy, but no less beautiful. I watched as he turned his head towards me, trying to work out who was holding his hand.

"Hey." I called gently, just as he had always done when he saw me.

"Heero?" He frowned slightly. I could see the confusion in his eyes. He knew that I wasn't meant to be there for him, but couldn't remember why.

"You alright?" I asked. Duo's confusion only increased. I could tell why. Seven years when he hadn't seen me. I had changed a great deal. Maybe not physically, but I had a better understanding of emotions and how to treat other people.

"Why can't I move?" Duo croaked.

"You've been badly hurt." I avoided his question, even while I stroked his arm as much as I could. "Let me get you some ice-chips."

I ran an ice-chip over his lips, allowing the water to dribble down his throat. I allowed myself to smile as he greedily swallowed the liquid. I stopped when his eyelids began to droop again.

"Why can't I move?" Duo tried again.

"You're injured," I evaded the question, once again. "We don't want you injuring yourself worse."

"You're not meant to be here."

"I'm right where I'm meant to be." I argued.

"_I'm_ not meant to be here?"

"You're right where you're meant to be." It was obvious that although the morphine was playing havoc with his cognitive functions, he still retained enough to know that something was wrong. Not that I was going to tell him what it was. I would enjoy the moments I could get.

"Danger." Duo murmured as he started to drift off again.

"No danger here, Duo." I countered, "You're safe."

"No," Duo tried to protest as a combination of the morphine and his own exhaustion pulled him under, "Can't stay… Danger… Kill… Never saf…"

"You're always safe with me." I declared, even though Duo was unable to hear me anymore.

He wouldn't wake for another four hours at least, I knew. So I allowed myself to release a small portion of my control. I kissed him on both eyelids and his forehead. I held his left hand with my right and stroked his knuckles. My left hand I slid under his head, and slowly ran my thumb over his cheek.

He had only been conscious for a few minutes, but my heart already felt lighter. Duo wouldn't die. No one could kill the God of Death. Not even me.

I didn't care about the threat that Duo mentioned. I didn't worry about the danger. As long as the Gundam Pilots were united, we would prevail, as Quatre would say. In my mind it was a great deal simpler. As long as I had Duo on my side, nothing would get in my way. There had been a reason I had knocked Duo out during the Mariamaia Revolt. Not simply so that he could be my decoy. I wouldn't have needed to hit him so hard if that was the reason.

"For your own good." I had told him, when he had asked why. He'd never questioned further. Other factors had pushed that betrayal out of his mind.

He was _meant_ to stay unconscious for the whole battle. Trowa was _meant_ to fly away without him. Duo would have been perfectly safe on that colony. I had gone into battle with Wufei, firmly convinced that Duo was safe and sound. That Duo wouldn't get hurt.

Trowa knew… _knows_… what Duo meant… _means_…to me. But I hadn't made my intentions clear enough… Or Trowa didn't have the opportunity to follow them through.

Duo had come around far too early. He had managed to get to his Gundam. And he had managed to fight. A fact which I hadn't learnt until a week later, when I had _finally_ escaped Relena.

The door opened disrupting my thoughts.

"How's he doing?" Quatre asked as he and Trowa entered.

"He woke up for a bit." I shrugged, "But he's very drowsy. Morphine always hits him hard."

"And you didn't say anything?" Quatre stared.

"While he's on the morphine," I smiled, "At this dose, he can't concentrate on anything for too long."

"You're scared he won't be the Duo you know if he can concentrate." Trowa stated. He always was good at seeing the truth.

"You can't keep him like that forever." Quatre pointed out.

"Just a couple of days," I countered, "Just a couple of days. He's been missing for so long."

"Wufei's gone to claim Duo's bag," Trowa told me, "Do you know how to open it?"

"I might." I shrugged, "Depending on how he sealed it."

"Has Duo said anything of importance?" Quatre seemed reluctant to ask. Probably for the same reason that I was reluctant to interrogate Duo.

"No," I shook my head, "He asked why he couldn't move and then stated that I wasn't meant to be here. I think I confused him. Before he fell asleep again, he was muttering about danger."

"We've got the next shift." Quatre announced, "We'll look after him."

"We can't lose him." I whispered, "Not again."

"That's why we've got to find out who's threatening him." Quatre reminded, "We find that out, and we can get Duo away. Wufei's working on the coercion side of things. If we can prove it… My lawyers will be able to get him off."

"We're not losing him." I murmured, "_I'm_ not losing him."

"We'll find a way." Quatre promised, "I swear to you, we'll find a way."

"Get some rest." Trowa instructed, "You're of no use to us or him half-dead on your feet." That was Trowa through and through. The guy does not pull his punches, whether physical or verbal. I respect him for that. But right then, I think I hated him. I did not want to be separated from Duo. No matter what the cost to me. I had only just _found_ him. I wanted to spend every moment with him. I would forgo sleep, eating… _everything_ to stay with him.

"Leave, or I throw you out." Quatre was blunt, "Trowa's right. There's no point staying here, if Duo's going to be taken from us. So stop him being taken. _Go_!"

I was up and out the door before I realized what had happened. Damn it! Sometimes the Soldier in me comes out and obeys while I am still protesting. Quatre knows that. And he will use it, when he feels he has to. Well, I had sixteen hours, before I would be allowed back in the room, I believed. Eight for Quatre and Trowa and eight for Wufei.

Sleep and food were near the top of my list. But the first thing would be to go and see if I could open Duo's bag. Quatre and Trowa were right. There was only so much I could do by Duo's bedside.

It didn't take me long to get to the Preventers' Office, and very little time to make my way to Forensics. Wufei was already there, in a small glass walled room with one of the Forensics people and Agent Willows. They appeared to be in an argument.

"It'll explode if you open it wrong!"

"So you say," Agent Willows earned points from me, just for being willing to argue with Wufei in full Justice-mode as Duo used to call it, "But I have had my best people look it over and they cannot find any hidden triggers."

"That's _why_ it's so dangerous, Woman!" Wufei spat, "Maxwell was, is and I fear always will be the best of the best when it comes to explosives. Your own tests state that there are enough explosives in that bag to destroy both it and everything within a ten metre radius. I _know_ Maxwell, that bag will explode if you don't open it right."

"Then how would you suggest we _should_ open it?" Willows sneered back. I had heard that Agent Willows didn't play the political games inside her lab, but I also knew that she was one of the best players outside the lab. I hadn't believed that she would be so unafraid of possible repercussions.

"I. Don't. Know." Wufei growled, "But I am hoping that Agent Yuy does." Okay, he was mad. Wufei only ever refers to me as Agent Yuy when he is furious.

"I might." I declared as I stepped into the room. "Depends on how he sealed it."

"Couldn't we just cut it open?" the young Forensics kid spoke up, before Willows did.

"No," I shook my head, claiming a pair of latex gloves as I did so, "I suggested that once, during the War. Apparently he's rigged it somehow so that cutting anything leads to the bag exploding."

"Could he be lying?" I couldn't remember the boy's name. Well, I say boy, but he's older than me.

"Maxwell doesn't lie." Wufei answered, "It's his motto. 'I run, I hide, but I never tell a lie.' That bag will kill you. Heero?"

I stepped forward, the gloves on my hands, and claimed the bag, turning it around quickly.

"Did you remove _anything_ from any straps?" I asked, "Hair-ties? Paperclips? Anything?"

"There was a hair-tie," the boy supplied, "I didn't think much of it. I heard the guy had long hair."

"Where was it?" I demanded.

"This strap." The kid pointed at the strap that held one of the side-pockets closed.

"Morrigan lock-down." I nodded, "The second worst method."

"Second worst?" Wufei frowned.

"The worst is called Sariel." I shrugged, "That one is a suicide bomb. It'll go off if you so much as jar it slightly. All the lock-downs can be converted to Sariel in case of emergencies."

"Self-detonation?" Wufei stared, "I never thought…"

"Let's see what he's got in here." I laid the bag down on the table.

"You know how to disarm it?" Willows sounded unsure.

"I saw him disarm it once," I answered, "We worked together for a while."

I started off by inputting two different codes into the locks, which were similar to those found on a briefcase. I had to be careful doing this as I could only move one wheel for each lock at a time and only one click at a go, before I had to switch to the other lock. Finally the codes were in, '0177' for the left-hand lock and '2806' for the other. Next I proceeded to loosen and tighten various straps around the bag. Morrigan was not designed to be opened easily or quickly. I then clicked the locks open at the exact same time. But before I touched the zip inside, I tightened both the shoulder-straps to their limit. Finally I unzipped the bag fully, before I opened the internal section.

"Mission Complete." The words slipped from my mouth, before I even thought about them.

"It's safe?" Willows pressed.

"If he says it's safe," Wufei smirked, "Then it's as safe as he can make it. I wouldn't say completely. This is Maxwell's bag, after all."

"Then let's see what he's got in it." I finally remembered the kid's name, or at least his first name. Everyone calls him Greggo. Greg, I assume his real name is, claimed the bag from me with his words and started to carefully remove the items inside it.

First out the bag was a handgun. Not your standard gun either. But I recognised it. One of Duo's custom jobs. During the War he had shown me a few of the guns he'd gotten off a friend of his. The ammunition they took was standard, but the guns were different. The weight was off for normal guns. However he held them like he'd never held anything else. The first time I borrowed one of his guns, it took me a full round of ammunition to hit my target, the balance and the sights were so off. But he never missed. That particular gun was his favourite 'Earth gun' as he called it. Designed for Earth's atmosphere. He had three classes of gun: Earth, Colony and Shuttle. While he could hit anything with any of the guns in any situation, he preferred to use the right gun-type.

Just seeing the gun made me smile. I had thought he had gotten rid of it, seeing as how a standard gun had been found on his person earlier. It now resided in Evidence Lock-Up.

Two more guns followed the first, along with a collection of ammunition and spare clips. I nodded to myself noting that the guns were of the other two types. His spare daggers followed the gun. His normal daggers were already in Evidence Lock-up, confiscated during surgery.

After the weaponry came his wallet. It was a limp looking thing, with no ID cards, no credit or debit cards. Only a few bank-notes and coins for cash. And I had little doubt that that was all the cash Duo had available to him. There was a small sliver of paper with what looked like an address written on it, as well as a couple of numbers.

Next came the explosives, wrapped in what looked like a spare t-shirt and pair of trousers. Detonators were contained in a pair of socks. A pair of boxers was the last piece of clothing, and made the pile look pathetically small. Duo only had one change of clothes? I stared at the t-shirt for a while; it looked surprisingly big for Duo. It was also in much better condition than the other clothing.

I wasn't too surprised to find the detonators separate from the explosives. It meant nothing overall. The explosives for the bag were actually hidden between layers of fabric in the bag. The bag itself was the bomb, not its contents.

Last out the bag was Duo's safety box. I'd only seen it once, when he was creating it. He had told me that in it he would put his most precious things. Things he didn't want to lose. They wouldn't survive the bag exploding, but they would survive almost everything else that destroyed the bag. It was fire-proof, water-proof and vacuum-proof. I had never seen inside it.

It wasn't booby-trapped. But it still took Greg some time to open it, considering the precautions that Duo had put on it.

Finally it was open. I stared for a moment. It contained more fabric, and thus I assumed clothes, than the rest of the bag.

"I thought I lost that." Wufei stretched out a hand, to almost touch something in the pile, but Willows caught his wrist.

"You'll get epithelials on it." Willows reprimanded.

"Woman," Wufei snorted, "That's got my DNA all over it already. That's mine. A sash from my wardrobe. I though I had lost it."

"And that's my old top." I pointed to a flash of green spandex, "I thought Quatre's washing machine tore it to pieces."

"Talking of Quatre," Wufei had given in to Agent Willows and was now wearing latex gloves, "Recognise this?" He held up one of the pieces of clothing.

"Quatre's waistcoat." I nodded, "He doesn't wear those anymore. At least not that colour. This has got to be Trowa's roll-neck."

"I agree." Wufei nodded, "The question is, what is the rest of this? And why is it important?"

We stared down at the remaining fabric, having separated the items we had recognised. It was black. All black. No, I spotted a small flash of white, as Wufei poked the fabric. The white flash was enough. I quickly started to lay out the cloth on the table, recognising each item and knowing where it should be placed.

"Of course," Wufei breathed, "His old Priest's outfit."

"And at the bottom of the box," I smirked, holding up something that Wufei had missed in his shock at seeing his red, silk sash, "Photographs."

"He never forgot us." Wufei was staring as I laid out the photos. Wufei hesitantly touching each one as if scared they might go away.

"Could he ever?" I asked.

"You need sleep." Wufei told me firmly, "And food. But I'll take sleep. I won't get you to go home, so go crash on the couch in our office. I'll… I'll see what I can find here."

"Tell me everything?"

"You know I will," Wufei sighed, "It has been seven years, Heero. I am no less eager than you for him to stay."

"We can't lose him."

"We won't." Wufei declared, "Go. Sleep. I'll bring you coffee later." His fingers moved towards his mobile phone.

I left. Wufei would have called Sally to sedate me if I hadn't. Ever since he and Sally had started dating nearly six years ago, if I had ever gotten too bull-headed or stopped sleeping when he told me to sleep, he would call Sally. And she would sedate me. It had only occurred four times, but the threat was still there. Of course I usually returned the threat if he was doing the same thing. But that day he wasn't. So I went and tried to sleep. Though it seemed that my body was much more amenable to the idea of sleep than my mind was, considering that I fell asleep pretty quickly.

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Good? Bad?

Please inform me. Constructive criticism encouraged.

This chapter is dedicated to Seithr-Kairy, who made me smile today. Despite the awful weather. And is being posted in the hope that I'm managing to post it early enough for them to read it, before they go into Coventry for several weeks. (That's a silent zone for those of you who don't know.)

Katerina Shinigami – 'Have you ever had a friend like me?', huh? I apologize. I didn't mean to get a song stuck in your head. Cats? Had two. Know what you mean. For a laugh type 'Theo Spark: How to feed a pill to a cat' into Google, and read the first link. Thanks for the review.

Anonymous Void – Now, I'm trying to avoid clichés here. So your fears shouldn't be justified. Agree with you on the Batman. Didn't get to watch much of it. But it was good. Thanks for the point about Duo and the wedding. That has been planned since the start.

Raelyn-Mage – Now don't mistreat the laptop. Do that too often and it'll stop producing more story. *Sends hug*

Leora chan – Slow crescendo, here. I'm still proving that I have a slight addiction to build ups. Though the fireworks are coming.

Whitetiger1589 – Yeah, Duo would just go round hugging everyone. And he always does the sweetest things just to make the others happy.

Wind Dancer1981 – Can I order an ego-deflater? Because your reviews are wonderful and make me feel amazing.

Toraus – Get some sleep. I know exactly how you feel. I start work soon. _Proper_ work! *Hides under the bed*. Thanks for the review.

Lulu – Thanks for the corrections. Will remember in future. And thanks for the comments about Wufei.

Seithr-Kairy – Thanks for making me smile.

Now everyone, my next chapter will be dedicated to my hundredth reviewer. Come on everyone, help me make a ton! (A ton being 100 runs in cricket) I'm sure you can make it. I'm only 9 off!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Quatre's POV

Duo was home. I could hardly believe it. I had waited and worked towards this end for over seven years. But I had not wanted it to happen like this. I had always anticipated Duo just walking through the front doors. Or sitting in my chair in my office when I arrived at work. Or dragged back by the end of his braid by one of the others.

Not once had I ever expected Duo to be critically injured in hospital. Not when Detective Wilks of the L3 police called me. Not when Trowa told me of his meeting with Duo.

I'm not sure, but I think at some point in my mind Duo had become invincible… No, not invincible, but more like that character in an old film he made me watch. I think the film was called 'Wolverine'. I believed he could recover from anything. That he would just 'bounce' back.

Trowa had told me he wouldn't. Trowa had said so many things about Duo's state of health and mind. But I hadn't really believed them. I hadn't _wanted_ to believe them.

But at that moment I saw the truth. Allah, then I saw the truth that my heart had denied. I saw the broken body. I felt the broken soul. I held the broken pieces of a broken heart in my hands. And I longed to fix it all. But I didn't know where to start. I didn't even know what… or rather _who_ had broken him.

It may have been Heero's bullets that brought Duo to this bed, but he was broken long before those bullets were ever chambered, let alone fired. I could see that then. Duo was heading towards this hospital bed or worse, long before he entered the Preventers' ventilation ducts. I did not want to think about the worst that could have happened. It had been hard enough to enter the Preventers' offices to await the others, for our customary weekly meal out, and feel the pain.

For a moment, I had not known whose the pain was. I had not realized just what I was feeling. It could have been anyone's initially. Then I knew it was one of the Pilots, and not Trowa's, for he stood beside me. He had been supporting me, as my knees gave way beneath me. I had reached out, trying to identify whether it was Heero or Wufei who was hurt. For I had known that it could not be Duo. Duo had no business there. Or if he had business there, the others would not have allowed him to be harmed so suddenly and so many times in succession. And Duo could not be harmed. Not that badly.

I had felt Heero's freezing, burning anger. And I had known it was Wufei who was hurt. But before I spoke, and told Trowa. I had felt the softer, the quieter, the far less intense worry, frustration and shock from Wufei.

That had left only one option left. And having felt the pain for so long, I could feel the undertones in it that identified Duo as the source. I had murmured Duo's name, and Trowa was gone.

I spent the next few minutes locking down my empathy, so that I could follow Trowa's path. And then I had seen Duo for the first time in the flesh for seven years.

Ever since Trowa had given me those pictures of Duo from when he had seen him on L2, I had carried one with me everywhere, so that I would be reminded of my best friend and older brother. But to see him in the flesh. In Heero's arms. He looked so small. So frail.

Even on the hospital bed, he still looked frail. Still looked small. Still slightly pale from blood loss. Although Sally had told me that part of the problem was also anaemia. Duo was going to be on a lot of pills for a while until his malnutrition was fixed. Never mind his actual wounds.

"Just sinking in?" Trowa asked from where he sat next to me. I was sitting protectively close to Duo.

"Yeah." I agreed, "He's going to take a long time to heal. But we'll be there for him!"

"Of course we will, little one." Trowa smiled, "But it's not going to be easy. He's going to feel very lost and confused for a long time."

"How do you know?" I turned to face him.

"Because I felt that way just after Duo found me on L2 during the war." Trowa shrugged, "And again when you found me. I couldn't understand why I meant so much to either or you."

"But he's got all his memories." I frowned.

"True," Trowa leant back in his chair, "But Duo's also got low self-worth at the moment. I'm not sure if it's because of his situation or if it was pre-existing. But he did tell me that he deserved to die on the streets."

"But we care for him!" I protested.

"And when did the rest of us start expressing our care and affection?" Trowa sighed, "Not until after Duo had left. He was surprised at the fact that I talk more often than he remembered. How do you think he's going to cope with a less emotionally repressed Heero and Wufei? Never mind the other changes in their attitudes since then. Duo won't be able to make heads or tails of it for a while."

"We're going to have to be gentle." I realized, following Trowa's logic, "Very gentle. And not take offence at things he says. He's going to lash out. And then curl right back up into a ball waiting for us to hit him. Allah! When I get my hands on the people who did this to him…"

"Quatre!" Trowa snapped, "You're going Zero!"

That was almost like a physical blow. I occasionally have what the others call 'Zero Episodes'. Times when it's almost like I'm still plugged into the Zero system. Once I realize I can normally bring myself out of them quite quickly. And I've never hurt anyone during these episodes… yet. But the problem is realizing that I'm in one. The other problem I sometimes have is _wanting_ to come out of one. Sometimes what I want and what the Zero system wants is so similar that I don't mind sacrificing a little control to try and get it. However that's only when I want things like revenge… when I'm clouded with hate. During the year between the end of the Eve War and the Mariamaia Revolt, Duo provided me with a saying that I thought fitted: 'Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering'. One day I'm going to find out where that comes from, Duo kept on sniggering every time he said it.

I pulled myself away from thoughts of revenge with a wrench. I couldn't go down that route. Not yet. Not while Duo still needed us. Needed _me_. For while all the others had changed… I had probably changed the least over the last seven years. I would have to be Duo's grounding point while he adjusted to the changes in the others. I would have to be Duo's anchor.

I am ashamed to say that at that time, I did not consider how much _Duo_ could have changed in the time he had been on his own.

On the swivel-table across from us, was sitting a meal for Duo, complete with a little paper pot of pills. I called it a meal, but it was a liquid one, all jelly (or jello) and juice. It was important that Duo ate. But it was equally important that Duo rested. So we were forced to wait for Duo to wake up, before we fed him.

Duo stirred slightly. Opening his eyes sleepily, I could feel him tugging at the straps to try and wipe the sleep out from his eyes.

"Hey, sleepy-head." I smiled, "Thought you were going to sleep all day."

"Why can't I move?" Duo frowned.

"You're badly hurt." I couldn't bear to tell him the truth, so I abided by Trowa's half-lie, which he spoke without a single tell in his face, "You've got to stay still to heal quickly."

"And eat!" I quickly added, pulling the swivel-table across the bed.

"Not Jello." Duo almost whined seeing the tray.

"Sorry," I grinned unrepentant, "You're on an all liquid diet, until further notice."

"Then no pills?" Duo looked almost hopeful.

"Pills don't count." I smirked, shaking the little cup. Duo's eyes boggled at the rattling noise.

"How many are there?" He whimpered.

"Don't think about it." I answered, looking down at the half full pot. There were easily a dozen pills in the container. "Open the hatch and down they go." I repeated the words Duo had once used on me when I had been injured. May I say that a broken wrist is not the best of injuries to accumulate during a war? Especially your dominant wrist. I was lucky that I was not running that mission solo.

Duo submitted to me pouring the pills into his mouth followed swiftly by a good gulp of juice. He whined and whinged the whole time I shovelled the jello into his mouth. It was almost as if the past seven years had never happened. He was acting just the same as he had before. Apart from one little thing… There was drowsiness in his eyes and speech. If I ignored it, everything was fine.

However I opened my empathy a little. I wasn't trying to pry. I just wanted to 'feel' what this Duo was like. I was being selfish. Everyone I know has a different 'feel'. Trowa's is calming. Just feeling his presence calms me. Heero's is determined, bringing me new strength, new courage. Wufei's is hard to describe, but I know what it does to me. It makes me feel wanted, accepted, respected, trusted. I looked it up once, and I think he projects all the 'Morality of Deed' from his culture. Chinese Virtues is the best description I have for it.

Duo had always felt happy. I couldn't help but smile whenever I 'felt' only the very edges of his emotions. If I want the 'feelings' I can't go deep. I don't learn their emotional state.

I was finding it hard to smile with Duo tied down. Finding it hard to find the good in the situation. Finding it hard to hold onto hope. Knowing that it was definite that Duo would be taken away from us, if we could not prove that he was under coercion.

I needed Duo's smile to permeate into me. I needed his strength to smile. So I tried to borrow what I needed. Only to flinch back.

Duo didn't have a smile on his soul anymore. Instead there was pain. I had known that someone's soul could change. Wufei's being the only other example I had. His had changed from being filled with anger and revenge to the kinder soul he has now.

Duo's feel was of uselessness. There was no hope. No positive emotion. There was sadness. A lack of self-worth. Guilt. Self-hatred.

He was depressed. Pure and simple. And I hated myself. Even after I wrenched my empathy away from Duo's soul. I still hated myself. Allah! We had done that to him. Because we had not found him. Because we had not shown him that we cared.

"It's going to be alright, Duo." I whispered, almost choking on the words as I forced the tears in my eyes not to fall. "Your little brother will take care of everything."

"What's the matter, Cattie?" Duo frowned slightly. There was a pause, "You're not meant to be here."

"Of course I am." I forced myself to smile brightly, "Where else should I be when my big brother is hurt?"

"Something's wrong." Duo was confused. Obviously Heero had understated the effect of morphine on Duo, it seemed that he could only really concentrate on the here and now. Trying to remember anything was too hard for his drug-fuddled brain. But some details he couldn't either completely forget or recall.

"That may be so," Trowa spoke up, "But we're your friends. You're not in much of a state to deal with anything right now. So let us carry the burden. You just rest and get better. I swear to you Duo, we'll take care of everything."

I shovelled the last spoonful of food into Duo's mouth before he could say anything else.

"All done!" I chirped.

"What did I hurt?" Duo pressed.

"Duo," Trowa had rounded the other side of the bed, and was stroking Duo's bangs away from his face, "You're so drugged up I doubt you'll remember later. When you're not so dopey, we'll tell you. Okay?"

"Promise, Tro?" Duo slurred slightly, obviously the morphine was catching up on him again, "Promise, Cattie?"

"We swear." I breathed, "Get some rest, Duo. You're badly hurt. We're on watch now. Stand down."

Duo surrendered to the welcoming embrace of sleep, the morphine ensuring a swift surrender and a long sleep.

"What did we _do_ to him?" I whispered, the tears starting to leak from my eyes.

"Nothing." Trowa sighed, "And that's the problem."

"He's depressed."

"I said he was killing himself." Trowa shrugged, "We should have seen it from that video on L3. He may not have consciously decided to kill himself…"

"But he was trying all the same."

"He gave up." Trowa sat down, "He didn't realize what he was doing. But _something_ kept him going."

"When I find out who did this to him…" I growled.

"I know, little one." Trowa pulled me into a hug, "We'll sort this."

"We've got to Trowa," I murmured, "We've got to. He killed for us. And would have died for us. And…"

"And we never even gave him a reason to." Wufei spoke from the doorway. "I'm ashamed to admit it, but I treated him badly. I saw him as the fool he played."

"Anything so far?" Trowa asked what I wanted to know.

"Nothing really in his bag," Wufei shrugged, "The only thing that indicated that he is part of a group is a small slip of paper. It has the address of a Preventer safe-house on it, along with the times that a witness would be stashed there. Someone informed Duo about the witness. Someone told him where we would place him for his protection. And it would have been that safe-house."

"Then why would he sneak into the offices?" I frowned, "It's not sensible."

"There are only three reasons I can think of," Wufei announced, "One, the witness was meant to arrive later, we would have left for the day and the interrogation would have started the next day. Two, Duo _knew_ that the security around the safe-house would be checked by Heero and I, thus making it nearly impenetrable and a death-trap for him. Three… and I would much prefer it to be this one, Duo wanted to see us. Even if it was just peering through the ventilation grills. And even if it put his life at risk."

"Would he have done that?" I asked.

"I don't know." Wufei murmured, "I really don't know. I'm finding out that I know _nothing_ about Duo. Never mind the lengths he would go to, to protect us. I am finding that he is more like the Phoenix than I ever imagined. Honesty and loyalty at his very core."

"We've got to fix this." I choked back my tears again, "It was meant to be all _over_ when we found him. Everything was meant to be fine. We've got to make everything fine. We're back together again. We can't let anyone tear us apart. Not again."

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Thank you everyone on helping me to reach 100 reviews!

As I promised this chapter is dedicated to my hundredth reviewer… *drum roll*… Sunago! Thanks a lot. And congratulations, your first review for this story and you brought me up to a ton.

Anonymous Void – More coming soon. Although I do warn you I start actual work soon. It shouldn't slow me down too much though. I still plan on updating at least once a week. I have a reader of this story who lives near me and will kick me if I don't.

Seithr-Kairy – Well, I know you won't read this for a while. So I hope you had fun on your trip.

Raelyn-Mage – An old friend of mine found flirting with a laptop increased its speed… If that helps. You didn't like Willows? Don't worry, I don't think she'll turn up again.

Illusion-Factory – Yeah, a fully conscious Duo should be something to worry about.

Whitetiger1589 – I stole the clothing idea from 'Mel & Christy' in their story 'Reunion'. Good one. Not on fanfiction though. Try Google. Thanks for your opinion on the bag. I try to think like Duo… sometimes makes my head hurt.

Katerina Shinigami – Okay, you win. I snorted all the way through. You ever read "The Unadulterated Cat" by Terry Pratchett? Very good. Also glad you enjoyed the last chapter.

Toraus – Hope you've caught up on your sleep. And no, I couldn't let them open the bag wrong. For one thing I think the Preventers might get a little upset if they lost a ten meter radius of their labs. Although I do think that Heero would have laughed menacingly while watching. It's his kinda thing.

TenshiNanashi – Oh who doesn't love a Wufei rant? I'm trying to get better at writing Wufei rants. I sort of need them for another story.

Sunago – Small problem with going into hiding at the moment is that Duo can't and is an open target if he's on his own in the hospital. But thanks for your review.

Leora chan – Again, stole the clothing from 'Mel & Christy', go look for their story "Reunion". It has some _amazingly_ sweet Duo moments.

BlindDreamer2009 – *Hands over some virtual chocolate brownies* Well done! I was wondering if anyone would notice that. Thank you! Yes, I _did_ steal Agent Willows and Greggo from CSI. I also stole Dani Messer (in Chapter 2) from CSI: New York; Danny Messer with gender changed. And there was a throwaway reference to Criminal Minds in the same chapter. I am trying to keep Mary Sue's to a minimum, by limiting the number of truly OCs. Wufei's attitude was a bit difficult. I had to balance his gender rants with his intelligence rants. He's a difficult guy to write dialogue for.

Wind Dancer1981 – Well if you won't provide an ego-deflater… *Hands over the pom-poms* Will you be the head cheerleader? Thanks for the review. I am glad my writing is so marvellous in your eyes.

AliasPseudo – Strange. I find Wufei hard to write sometimes. Tell me if I fall down on that front would you? Glad you like the story.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Wufei's POV

It was my turn to sit by Duo's bedside, a few days after Quatre had had his partially emotional, partially scary breakdown. I say partially scary, because I saw the edges of a Zero Episode tainting his judgement. Only I could not bring myself at the time to point it out. We had done Duo a grave Injustice. I could see the truth in that. We had imagined that he left of his own free will. For no reason other than he desired to leave. To find out that he had left for our sakes was a harsh blow. That he had nearly died for us, harsher still. Quatre was not taking it at all well. Even though he'd had the extra month to adjust to the situation, it appeared that it had not sunk in.

Not that I could blame him. It was hard enough to accept what I saw before me. To change your entire view-point based on the words of another, even if that other was your partner. Well, I could understand Quatre's problem.

Meanwhile I would wait for Duo to wake-up. This would be the first time he had awoken without the morphine drip. When I had stayed with him and he had awoken with the morphine drip, we had had some very pleasant, if short conversations. However the shortness of the conversations was more than made up for, by the confession from Heero that he knew that morphine hit Duo hard. It was very entertaining watching my wife nearly rip Heero's head off his shoulders. And even more so to watch her verbally flay Heero alive.

Heero had wanted to be here for this, but had been assigned to guarding Relena. Lady Une had informed him that if he did not turn up, she would send someone to check the hospital room, and if he was there, Duo would be removed to a prison hospital.

Duo groaned slightly as he started to stir. I could tell when he was fully awake, not by the opening of his eyes, but rather the fact that he stopped pulling at his bonds. Duo never was one to let you know just what he was up to. I had little doubt that when the time came, if we hadn't solved the problem, Duo would leave. No matter what obstacles we put in his path. However at the moment, his injuries would provide too great a barrier for him just to up and run.

That and due to Trowa's advice he was on a mild sedative, designed to calm him so that he wouldn't panic when he saw us.

"Chang." Now that hurt. Duo had _never_ called me by my first name correctly, never mind my family name, "I guess I was caught."

"It's been a long seven years, Maxwell." I sighed. I had decided to treat this as if it was our first conversation in seven years. "We missed you."

Duo didn't say anything. He wasn't even looking at me anymore. All his attention was apparently focused on a small discoloured patch of paint, directly in front of his bed.

"You're badly hurt," I tried to coax him into speaking, "Five bullet holes. Your arm, twice in your leg, your chest and your stomach. Plus a bullet crease on your ribs."

No reaction. I could have almost sworn that Duo was meditating. His gaze was so blank. Either that or he was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Something I was not willing to dismiss that quickly. Quatre was firmly of the belief that Duo was depressed.

"I know I've changed a great deal since you left. I know this is going to be hard for you to accept… But I was a fool back then. I truly wish to be your friend, Maxwell. We were a group of five. It does not feel right without you.

"But we need information so that you can come home." I hated saying that. It sounded so mercenary. But it was both the truth and necessary.

"Wufei." Duo's voice was quavering slightly as he spoke my name.

"Yes?"

"I have to confess to sixty seven murders." Duo appeared to have gathered resolve from somewhere as the vocal trembling stopped.

"What?!" I squeaked.

"I have to confess to sixty seven murders." Duo repeated, "While I cannot give you all their names, I can provide you with details about when, where and how."

"You don't have to do this Duo." I whispered, "Tell me who made you do this."

"I need to confess to sixty seven murders."

"Duo please." I begged.

"I'm sorry, 'Fei." He murmured, turning to face me for the first time. "I don't have a choice."

I could see the tears running down his face. He was biting his lip in an attempt not to cry, but was failing. Miserably I might add. During the Eve War, I probably would have said something like 'Only the Weak cry'. But I was past that.

"We can help you." I insisted.

"No," Duo shook his head, "You can't. I have to do this."

"Duo please. Don't make me have to arrest you."

"I thought I already was arrested?"

"We're trying to get you off on coercion." I stated, "Please. Help us."

"I can't. I'm sorry. I don't have a choice."

"Duo, I can't let you do this to yourself."

"You don't have a choice."

"I have a doctor for a wife and I'm not afraid to use her." I countered.

That got a wan smile.

"It wouldn't work forever, Fei." Duo chided, "You'd have to let me come around some time. Let me do this."

"I can't."

"Let me do this," Duo's arm twitched as if he was trying to reach out to comfort me, "Let me keep you safe."

"How do you know that the person telling you to do this will keep their part of the bargain?"

"I don't. But all I can do is hope."

"Duo, don't do this. We need you."

"No," Duo shook his head sadly, "You don't. You just think you do."

"We spent seven years looking for you."

"And I should have died before you found me."

"You would commit suicide?"

"I'm not allowed to. Please, Wufei, don't make this any harder for me than it is already."

"I can't stand by and let you do this to yourself." I sounded indignant, even to my own ears.

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice, Fei. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." His tears were flowing freely now. And I think I was crying too. However I only raised my hand to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

"Duo, we can help you." I begged, "We want to help you."

"You can't. Please, Fei. Let me do what I have to do."

"Can't you even give me a hint as to who is behind all of this?"

"No… I'm sorry."

"A motive, then?"

"Sorry."

"Please," I tried one last time, "Don't make me listen to you while you do this."

"Leave an active recorder," Duo suggested, "And wait outside. I'll call you when I'm done."

"No," I shook my head, "If you have to do this… If you have had to do this for us… Then you at least deserve to have a friend sit by you and learn of what you've done."

"You're a good friend, Chang Wufei." Duo bowed his head to me.

"No," I dashed away tears from my eyes, "I'm a terrible friend. And you're an amazing one. Let me set up the recorder."

For the next three hours I sat holding Duo's hand as he proceeded to recite the details behind sixty six murders, and the barest details of the sixty seventh, our witness. Those hours will probably always be the longest hours of my life. And they will definitely always be the worst.

Heero had been right; Duo really could get inventive when he wanted to. Some of the murders he described I had assumed were merely accidents, suicides or natural causes.

During those three hours, Duo never stopped crying. Although his voice didn't hitch, stumble or stutter. He didn't choke on his words. He didn't repeat himself. His voice didn't falter. But the tears never stopped. Until that day I'd never seen Duo cry. It was an incredible thing to watch. At least it would have been, if it hadn't felt like my heart was being torn in two.

Sixty seven murders, in our names. For our sakes. I knew that I had killed more than that in my time. I had ended far more lives. Sixty seven people? I killed more than that at Victoria Base in one night. But that was War. And I was a different person back then. Duo had killed sixty seven people and could describe each face and each manner of death. I couldn't even tell you the names of five of those I killed at Victoria. Let alone pick them out of a line-up.

Sixty seven murders and no apparent motive. They ranged from terrorists, assassins, drug-lords, slave dealers. They were all the suspected dregs of society, apart from five. My witness. The two from L3. A waiter. And an undercover police officer. Though Duo did not know that. He described their faces and their deaths.

I handed him water when he needed it, to quench his drying throat. But apart from that I felt useless. I was listening to my friend talk himself into jail. And once in jail, I had no illusions that Duo would last long. Despite everything that Duo knew, he wouldn't survive in a jail. Duo's defences were best described by his motto: 'I run and I hide, but I never tell a lie'. In jail he wouldn't be able to run. He wouldn't be able to hide. He would have no daggers to defend himself with. And he was not the strongest hand-to-hand combatant I knew.

Every word out of his mouth was true. Every confession real. Every murder at his hands… But not of his own will. Not his choice. Not his decision.

When those three hours were up… When the confession was finished… When I had put the recorder away… We sat in silence. I wrapped him in a hug and let him cry into my shoulder for a while. I wished I could free him from his bonds, so that he could hold me back. But Lady Une had made her views very clear. If we did so, Duo would be put under twenty-four hour guard and removed to a prison hospital. I let him cry his silent tears.

I think I shocked him. I had never initiated contact during the War. And I had always pushed away his attempts at contact. Quatre and Trowa had told me to take it slowly. But I couldn't. Not after hearing first-hand what Duo had done for us. Right then he needed the support. I think he actually needed Quatre, but I was the only one there. I had reigned in my anger, hiding it from Duo. I would _not_ show him my anger. He would have thought I was angry at him. Instead of the person who had forced Duo to this.

"My friend," I murmured to him, "We will solve this. We will sort this out."

"You can't." Duo replied, "You can't, Fei. I'm sorry. I would rather have died than put you through this."

"Don't you say that!" I pushed away from him, "Don't you ever say that Maxwell! We are going to fix this. I swear on my Honour."

"I'm not worth your honour." He wasn't looking at me.

"No," I shook my head, "You are worth _far_ more than both my Honour and my Word. I fear that we are not worth the price you paid, and are still paying."

"It was mine to pay."

"May be so," I sighed, "But you paid it for all of us. So I think we should have had some say."

"Not my choice, Wufei. I could only choose to pay the price."

"No. You believed you had no choice. So you paid the price that they wanted. You did what you believed was necessary, as you were our brother. It took us several years to realize what you had tried to teach us. The importance of brotherhood and friendship, and what being team-mates actually _meant_. But you weren't here to reap the rewards of those lessons.

"And now you have come home. The prodigal brother, as Quatre would say. Now you can reap the rewards of your labours. We understand now. We don't blame you for paying the price. We blame ourselves for letting you."

"It wasn't your fault." Duo looked away.

"Yes," I forced his face to look at me, "It was. You felt that you couldn't tell us. You felt isolated. You felt shunned. You thought that we wouldn't miss you. You thought that you were too much of a burden for us. But you loved us. So you did what you thought was necessary. You should have been able to trust us."

"I'm sorry."

"That wasn't _your_ fault!" I snapped, before reigning in my anger again, "It was ours. You didn't fail _us_. We failed _you_. We were supposed to be as close as brothers. And you tried so hard to make us see that. But we were wrapped up in our own little worlds. Too scared to make ourselves vulnerable that we completely missed the fact that you had already made yourself vulnerable. It was Dishonourable of us.

"You felt that you couldn't approach us. So you did what you felt was necessary and we lost you. It was _our_ fault. Not yours. _Never_ yours."

By the look on his face, he didn't believe me. Then again, I couldn't exactly blame him for not believing me. I had never treated him all that kindly.

"But it _was_!" Duo protested, "I shouldn't have gotten caught. I was _told_ to stay away from you. But… I just… I just wanted…"

"You wanted to see us?" I smiled gently, glad that my guess had been correct. Inwardly I was surprised at myself. I knew I had become softer… gentler over the last seven years. Not a bad thing, all told. I was starting to sound more like Quatre, than myself.

"I hadn't seen you since…" Duo frowned for a moment as if trying to remember, "Trowa on L2. Quatre when he went on that conference tour thing on L4. Heero and you would be your wedding."

"Why did you shoot him?" I asked softly, "You should have known that would bring us running. You _must_ have known."

"I… I wasn't thinking." Duo turned away from me, "He… He said some things… I got mad… I stopped thinking… I just wanted to get it over with… He started screaming… He was yelling… He pulled a gun on me… I got it out his hands… Turned it on him…"

"We didn't hear anything." I frowned slightly, "Then again, the rooms are partially soundproof." Another thought struck me. Even witnesses are meant to be checked for weapons, so how did this Yorvik get one through?

"I'm sorry." Duo closed his eyes, "I didn't mean to get caught."

"It was going to happen eventually. You were up against the rest of us. You may be our stealth expert. But you were going to slip up eventually. And anyway, you were doing a job that wasn't in your training. You are _not_ our assassination expert."

"But I wasn't…"

"That's what you were being used as. An assassin. Blackmailed into it. And I'm so sorry. We should have found you quicker. You should have been able to trust us and come to us for help. And it is _not_ your fault. It is ours. And ours alone. Let us carry this burden. You have carried it for too long, already."

"I choose to carry it." I didn't think he really understood what we were arguing about anymore.

"It would have broken your back had you carried it much further. And I'm not sure it didn't. Let your friends help you, Duo. Let your _brothers_ help."

"My older brother died years ago," Duo was transfixed by the discoloured patch of paint again, "I only have my little brother now. It is my job to protect him."

"Quatre may be your younger brother. But I would be proud to count you as mine. And although you may not believe it, I will at the very least count you as my friend and someone it is my duty to care for. I have no other family apart from my wife. I have come to consider the others my brothers. In spirit if not in blood. You are also one."

"I can't let you die."

"I don't follow."

"Everyone who ever told me that I should let them look after me… let them _protect_ me, died. The only way I can keep those I care for safe is if _I_ protect them."

"That was then," I flicked his hair off his forehead, "This is now. You deserve our protection."

"I don't deserve…"

"Don't you say that! Don't you dare say that! We didn't spend seven years, four months, a week and three days searching for you for no reason. We did it, because we _cared_. Nataku! Quatre would be _so_ much better at this conversation than me. Why couldn't it be him? I'm torn between pounding the idea that we actually care for you into your thick skull and hugging you to death."

Duo didn't answer that. I didn't think he understood. I still don't. I had effectively turned his entire world on its head. But he had needed to hear what I had said.

We didn't talk anymore after that. I didn't want to give out any more 'warm fuzzies' as the Duo-in-my-head would say. At least not until Duo was in the right mood to accept them.

We just sat in silence for the remaining hours of my shift. I'll never know whether Duo was meditating or sleeping. He may not have been on the morphine anymore, but he _had_ just been through an emotional three hours and a bit. Add in the simple fact that he was probably worn out from his injuries, Sally still expected Duo to sleep a great deal.

Duo didn't stir when Heero entered to take the next shift. I rose, tapping Duo lightly on the shoulder as a silent goodbye. He didn't move. However I felt better just informing him that I was going.

As I passed Heero heading out I murmured into his ear.

"Don't ask about what he's been doing. I'll fill you in later. He doesn't need it right now."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Heero nod as he moved to take the seat that I had just vacated.

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Once I had downloaded the recording of Duo's confession onto the Preventer computer system, I headed over to Quatre and Trowa's place. We all have our own keys, and I knew exactly where I was headed. The gym.

After the sixth time my pay got docked due to stress-relief in the Preventer's Gym, Quatre offered his place for stress-related workouts. Heero and I had a habit of either destroying the punching-bags or terrifying the other agents and new recruits with our sparing.

The staff must have contacted Trowa or Quatre when I arrived, because after I spent about fifteen minutes trying to kill a punching-bag (Quatre buys more durable ones than the Preventers) someone entered my awareness zone.

I whirled around launching a kick at about head height. Trowa blocked it with a gloved hand. He had obviously taken the time to grab the safety equipment for a spar. I hadn't. However that didn't stop me. I dropped to the floor to try to mule-kick him in the stomach.

The fight went from there. Trowa didn't do much more than block and absorb my blows. He occasionally went on the offensive, but not often. I didn't need that. I just needed to take all my rage and anger out on something. The guys knew that. I was better than Heero. He alternated between beating something or someone to death and shooting until his hands cramped.

Finally I dropped to the mats, completely spent. Trowa collapsed slightly more elegantly beside me. For a while, we didn't speak, panting claiming all our attention.

"Sixty seven." I eventually mumbled.

"Sixty seven what?" Quatre's voice came from somewhere near the doorway. I couldn't see him. I was staring at the high ceiling, focused on the tight-ropes that Trowa had gotten hung there.

"Sixty seven murders in our names." I replied bluntly, "He wasn't even allowed to kill himself to escape the shame."

"Do you think he would have?" Trowa stiffened slightly.

"I don't know." I shrugged, "After the War I would have said no. But…"

"He's not the same anymore." Quatre nodded, I think. I still couldn't see him.

"Did you know he cries without sobbing?" I murmured, "It's slightly… disturbing. To make it worse, I think he thinks he deserved it. He won't give me any details about who forced him into this. He wanted to see us. He's lonely. He's scared. And he's _still_ trying to protect us. We've got to get the guy who did this."

"We will." Trowa muttered, "I just _wish_ he'd help."

"He cried?" Quatre's voice caught in his throat.

"Sixty seven in our name," I fired back, "He's too scared to help. He's terrified of what's going to happen to him. But even more petrified of what might happen to us. Whoever these people are… They've got power."

I heard Quatre grab a phone and contact Sally, so that she could come to patch me up. Ever since we had started dating, Sally had insisted that she be called in to sort me out if I got injured. It usually either brought a smile to my face or a complaint that the woman was fussing. But right then, I couldn't bring myself to care.

I felt guilty. I felt pathetic. I had just let my friend talk himself into jail. Nataku! Please! Don't let this happen. It isn't right. It isn't just. This isn't Justice.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Anonymous Void – Glad I could make with the warm and fuzzy feelings.

Wind Dancer1981 – Thanks a lot, glad you're enjoying it.

Katerina Shinigami – Wait for it. Quatre will probably eventually lose his temper. I find cats amusing too. If slightly worrying. They're just waiting until they can work out how to use the tin-opener. Then we're all doomed.

Whitetiger1589 – I just have this image in my head of Duo being an old film fanatic. And he tried to corrupt Quatre.

Snowdragonct – I'm not rushing anything. Nor are the muses.

Raelyn-Mage – Thanks for the faith. I'll try working on Quatre, but he is a little too nice to say some of the things that need to be said… But push something hard enough…

SisterFreaks – I'll try my best to continue updating regularly. If I don't one of my nearby readers will probably hit me.

Toraus – Drugs? I think of it more like candy. Quatre just picks the flavours he likes. Have fun at Otakun!

Leora chan – Thanks for the correction. I sometimes miss things like that. And Quatre's reality check? Yeah, a bit of a bad one. But he's got to be Duo's rock.

Shadowalchemist198 – Welcome to the story. Glad you like it. Will take your advice on board, but longer chapters may take a while in coming. Sometimes the muse tells me where to end the chapter… Long before I get there. I would thank you for the link, but fanfiction mucked it up. Not to worry though, Google is my friend.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Heero's POV

We had to officially arrest Duo. Probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Duo didn't make it any easier. Not that he lashed out physically or verbally. It was the _calmness_ of him that was the worst. He just accepted it. Even said he was sorry to make us do that.

"Sixty seven?" I yelled at Wufei, "What was he thinking?"

"That we were in danger!" Wufei snarled back, "He did it for _us_, Yuy! Not for fun. He cried. You get that? I've never seen him shed so much as a single tear before. He cried for three hours. I'm surprised he didn't dehydrate!"

"He still should have…"

"Done what?" Wufei snapped, "Come to us? We weren't exactly good friends at the time. I insulted him on a near daily basis. And you barely talked to him."

"I love him!"

"And how was he meant to know that? Come on, name _one_ time you complimented him in _any_ way."

"I implied that he had incredible shuttle piloting abilities during the Mariamaia Rebellion." I declared after a long pause.

"Two years, Yuy," Wufei sneered, "Two years you'd known him and only one compliment. You deserved his protection… his _loyalty_ as much as I did. Which is to say not at all! He was out there _killing_ for us. Keeping us as safe as he could. And the only one of us who had done _anything_ to deserve it was Quatre!"

"I tried to keep him safe!"

"Did you tell him that? Or did you just betray his trust for 'his own good'? Does he even know you love him?"

"He knows." I tried to defend myself, but my words sounded unsure, even to me.

"You've not told him," Wufei snorted, "Probably because you're scared he won't reciprocate. Didn't you _learn_, Yuy? You have to make yourself _vulnerable_ if you want to gain someone's friendship. How much more vulnerable must you be if you desire something more?"

"I don't…"

"He killed for us. To protect us… To save us."

"I can't believe that we are in any real danger."

"I don't know anything about these people who are behind all this, but _Duo_ believes them." Wufei countered.

And that was that. Over the next few weeks, while Duo slowly recovered we tried pretty much every persuasion method we knew to get more details about the conspiracy. The moment we tried Duo would do one of two things, either apologize and say that he couldn't talk about it or refuse to speak completely, acting as if he never heard the question in the first place.

Only once did he do anything else. And I think the only reason he did then was that it was all of us ganging up on him.

"Duo please," Quatre had begged, "We need to know. For our safety."

"Don't ask me again," Duo closed his eyes against the tears that were threatening him, "I gave seven years for you. Don't make them pointless. Please."

"What if they don't keep their promise? What if we're in more danger _because_ you wouldn't talk?" I demanded.

"I have to believe in them." Duo clenched his fists, "I don't have a choice. I never did."

"They trapped you," Wufei pointed out, "You _do_ have a choice. We're your friends."

"And that's why I won't let them hurt you."

"Don't you trust us?" Trowa asked gently, far more gently than I would have expected.

"Can't you understand?" Duo sighed, "I _chose_ this. My life for yours. It's not that I don't trust you… or respect you… or care for you. It's that I gave what I had for your safety."

"We never asked you to." Quatre chided.

"You didn't have to. " Duo shrugged, "That's what friends do."

"Friends help friends," Wufei countered, "Let us help you."

"Please, don't ask me again. I won't tell. I can't tell. I'm willing to do this. Let me." Duo pleaded.

"Then let us be stubborn," Trowa stated, "You keep silent if you believe you have to. But we will keep on investigating."

"Don't." Duo begged, "Please. I don't want you hurt."

"They can't harm you for what we do of our own accord." I stated.

"But they can hurt _you_!" Duo countered.

"Hush, big brother," Quatre stroked Duo's braid, before pulling him into a hug, "It's on our heads. Not yours."

Duo hadn't said a word after that. He didn't utter a word for almost twenty four hours. It was unnatural. Even the guards outside the door, which Lady Une had insisted on, thought it was strange.

Lady Une insisted on the guards at the same time she insisted we formally arrest Duo. It was a choice between us arresting him or someone else, who wouldn't understand. We chose us. We were gentler. And it still felt like a betrayal. She also insisted that the minute Duo was cleared by a doctor that he would be sent to prison.

With the guards on the door and alarms on the windows that wouldn't open far enough for Duo to slip out of _anyway_, we were allowed to remove the cuffs from his wrists and ankles. As long as we put a GPS tracker on him instead. Duo didn't protest at all. Again, it made us feel worse.

Weeks passed, depending on how I look back on them they passed both quickly and slowly. Every day that Duo spent in hospital he got better and therefore closer to being sent to jail, so they passed quickly. But every hour that passed, I… _we_ spent hunting futilely for potential manipulators in this scheme. Those hours felt like eternity.

I got more and more frustrated as Duo got better and better. When the time came that he could leave his bed and walk to the bathroom, I knew we didn't have much time left. I was failing my mission. I was failing _Duo_.

I refused to allow myself to confess to Duo, until he was free. Until he was no longer afraid of consequences. But I still was failing him.

When Duo got to the point where he could just about stagger across the room with help, the occasional Preventer Agent came to interview Duo relating to various cold cases that he had confessed to. Checking details, I think. We weren't allowed in the room while they did that.

But that didn't help me. Didn't help _us_. We still had nothing. I was _still_ failing Duo.

However that was disregarded when I received a phone call from Wufei, who was at his shift, watching Duo. I was at work.

"Heero," Wufei sounded panicked, "Get over here now!"

He hung up, before I could get a word in edgeways. I was out of the offices so fast I think I broke a land-speed record. Thoughts were running through my head. What had happened? Was Duo okay? Had he done a runner? Had his mysterious bosses decided to silence him?

Wufei was standing just inside the door to Duo's room.

"Heero!" He sounded relieved just to see me.

"What happened?" I stared at the bed, which was nearly invisible due to the number of doctors and nurses rushing around it.

"I don't know." Wufei was definitely worried, "You know that cough he seemed to come down with a day or two back?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "I thought Sally said it wasn't anything serious?"

"She said she _thought_ it wasn't. He started coughing blood. His blood pressure is high. Heart rate fast. And his temperature is higher than normal. I don't know what else. They won't tell me anything. Quatre's on his way."

"How serious?"

"Coughing up blood? I called for Sally. She came in. Stared at all the devices and started this panic. I don't know! I didn't cover this. I barely passed the Standard First Aid course! Master O didn't cover medicine. I usually just smile and nod when Sally gets going. You?"

"I can heal myself." I thought back, "I'm no further than you. That was always the others' jobs. Or I threatened a doctor."

"Quatre should know more." Wufei sighed, "Or he'll be able to get a doctor to talk. They won't talk to me."

We stood there, unable to do anything. Unable to help. Just watching the flow of doctors around Duo. At some point Quatre and Trowa joined us, but I couldn't tell you when. We just watched. Duo was pushed away on the bed for some more tests. He was brought back. He was taken away again. He was brought back, again.

All we could do was watch. By the way the doctors were moving, they were worried. Duo just lay there. Completely passive. I didn't even know if he was submitting to the treatment or not conscious.

By the time the doctors were finished, Duo was on oxygen, with a heart-rate monitor hooked up as well, along with an IV.

"Sally?" Quatre asked, as she sat down.

"I don't know." She sighed, "It _looks_ like a variation on Tuberculosis. But it's different. One of the other doctors compared it to a disease he saw on L2 once, years ago. But it can't…"

"Duo told me about a Plague," Trowa countered, "From back when he was a street-kid…"

"Dormant for that long?" Sally dropped her head into her hands, "Oh, holy!... This is bad."

"How bad?" I whispered.

"That disease," Sally was blunt, "Hit the medical textbooks. Killed about seventy five percent of those who showed symptoms, who also got treatment. There's no record of a latent case. I have no clue as to whether it being latent is a good thing or a bad thing. Hell, I've never even heard of someone _not_ catching it if in close contact. Was he in close contact?"

"It wiped out everyone older than him in his gang," Trowa supplied, "And I'm willing to bet some of the younger ones."

"That counts." Sally murmured, "Street-rat gangs are like family."

"What are his symptoms?" Quatre pressed.

"Classic flu symptoms," Sally shrugged, "Fever. Cough. Blood in his sputum. Headache. I'd say exhaustion. But it's hard to tell. Heart rate and blood pressure are up. I don't know what's going to happen next."

"How long?" I breathed.

"What?" Sally looked up.

"How long did they survive on L2?" I completed my question.

"From onset of first symptoms?" Sally thought for a moment, "I don't know. From when they started coughing up blood, usually about three days. But they had limited resources. Those without treatment… never survived. Duo couldn't have gotten treatment. So he could be partially immune. Though I can't believe the odds of more than one person being immune, so I'm wondering how the rest of the gang survived."

"But there is a cure?" Wufei asked.

"For the version that occurred on L2, yes." Sally nodded, "But I don't know… This could be a modified version. The treatment could only work on a strain that has not gone dormant… I'll try it. But I can't guarantee anything."

"Why is it happening now?" Quatre frowned.

"Could be anyone of a number of reasons," Sally shrugged, "Overall it's probably because his immune system is compromised. The reasons for that… Well, malnutrition, stress, some medications, another illness…"

"Stress?" Trowa cocked his head to one side.

"Easily," Sally replied, "Half the school teachers get sick within a week of school breaking up for the holidays. I swear it's only sheer determination that makes them hang on that long."

"What are his odds?" I demanded.

"Depends," Sally answered, "It _really_ depends on whether Duo _wants_ to recover. He may just see this as the best way."

Duo could just… give up? That wasn't the Duo I knew. He never gave up. But… he had resigned himself to going to jail.

We sat and watched. The shift system we'd used before was thrown out the window. Every moment we could spare, we spent by Duo's bedside. We slept on the floor, on chairs. We told Duo to fight. To live. He just smiled wanly.

I slept in the chair by his bed. Most of the time I held his hand.

"You can't die, Duo." I whispered once, when everyone else was asleep, "I love you."

"You don't know what that means." Duo told me gently.

"I do!" I protested.

"No," Duo had smiled sleepily, "You don't. But that doesn't matter. You'll learn. Relena'll teach you."

I hadn't been able to argue with him, seeing as how he fell asleep before I could formulate a reply. He believed I was dating Relena? Why'd he come to that conclusion? When?

On the third day after Wufei had called me, we knew that we were waiting on a miracle. The old cure hadn't worked. This was a different strain. Sally said it was like the ever changing flu virus. The vaccine, or cure in this case, for one strain wouldn't deal with a different strain.

The miracle never came. Duo's heart rate increased and then stopped. Sally practically threw me across the room, since I wouldn't let go of Duo's hand. I know I fought to get back to Duo's side. I don't know what I said. But I know I probably swore at the others, while they restrained me. I know they had some bruises afterwards. But I didn't care. I don't remember hitting them.

My eyes were fixed on Duo's still body. I don't remember much. I remember someone yelling a 'Code Blue'. I remember a defibrillator.

I remember watching Duo's body leap into life, for a few precious moments. And then die again. I think it occurred a couple of times. But I couldn't tell you how many.

I was screaming my throat raw. The last thing I remember, before Wufei either got fed up or took pity on me and knocked me out, was Sally moving everyone away from the bed and pulling the sheet up and over Duo's head.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

*Ducks for cover under bed*

I'm not done yet! Please hold on. And don't throw stuff. I have breakables!

Anonymous Void – Of course Duo's stubborn. It's part of his charm.

Raelyn-Mage – I can channel Wufei? That's _great_! I really need to channel him for another story. Where the character is not co-operating. But then again, neither are the others. Thanks for the review.

Whitetiger1589 – Hugs all round! Thanks for the review.

Wind Dancer1981 – Thanks for the comments.

Katerina Shinigami – Did you see this coming? Good luck with the cats. I recently lost one of my pair to liver failure. The survivor, his brother, is developing the worrying habit of hiding in small places. Like the airing cupboard and the cupboard under the stairs… Oh well! Cats do what cats do.

Leora chan – Glad you are enjoying 'Rebuilding'. I like the side-stories, too. Try 'Instant Karma'. Thanks for your review.

Shadowalchemist198 – I should _eventually_ expand on the five murders. But not for a while yet. I know where it needs to go in the plot. Thanks for your comments.

Toraus – Get some sleep sleepy-head. Get some rest. Thanks for the review.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Wufei's POV

The funeral was over and done with barely three days after Duo's death. Quatre insisted on it. Part of his religion apparently. And he had the right, according to the law. But it didn't help Heero.

Quatre had bypassed the need for an autopsy. It went against his beliefs. I was surprised that he organised a cremation for Duo rather than the more traditional burial. But apparently Duo wanted his ashes scattered into space. But that didn't help Heero.

Heero was crashing on mine and Sally's couch. We had insisted. I had lost one friend. I was not allowing another to die. Even by his own hand. I had locked his gun away from him. And he wasn't allowed in the kitchen. I had even taken all my weapons down and put them in our bedroom.

It was worse than when Duo had gone missing. Worse than when we'd found traces of him on L3. He was… moping. Brooding. Slightly scaring me. He was also terrifying Sally.

On the sixth day, Sally lost it.

"That's it!" She yelled, "I've had it! Get in the car! Now!"

My wife may be a doctor, a healer. But never forget that she was also a terrorist, according to OZ. In fact she prides herself on the fact that she was sixth on the 'Wanted Lists' that OZ put out for most of the war. Coming in just after us Pilots. Though sometimes Rashid would nudge her out of sixth place. Never mention that though. She defends her right to that sixth place fiercely.

So when she tells me to get in the car. I get in the car. At least… I do when she yells in that voice. That's when she can't stand my arguing. Most of the time we enjoy our fights. But sometimes… No, it's not worth it. I'd rather not have her lose her temper and start to swear. She gets scary then. Not that I'm _scared_ of her, you understand. Just… cautious.

She drove us to Quatre and Trowa's place. She didn't talk the whole way there. Then again, neither did I. And Heero hadn't talked since the funeral.

Sally marched up to the front door. I was surprised to see her medical kit slung over a shoulder, but assumed that she would be needing it for when she pummelled a punching bag to death. Ever since I had been improving her training in martial arts, she had found that she had joined the list in the Preventers of 'Those who destroyed a punching bag'. They cost a fair bit to replace as well.

Trowa answered the door, which was a bit surprising, as normally a member of staff would. But it sometimes happened.

"I can't take it anymore." Sally hissed. She was still angry. If she didn't calm down soon… Well, I might be asking Trowa if I could borrow a bed… Or two. I wasn't leaving Heero alone. Part of me wondered if she was PMSing.

Trowa only nodded and led the way.

I'll admit I was surprised when we entered Quatre's office-come-panic-room. For a start, it was empty. Next, Trowa inputted the code to lock the door, sealing the room completely.

"Trowa?" I frowned.

He ignored me. I got even more confused when he placed his left hand on the mirror that ran from floor to ceiling, creating an illusion of space.

"Trowa Barton," he declared, "Plus three. Put your hands down. I was the first one to surrender and came out, remember?"

That statement threw me for a complete loop. But apparently it was important, as a blue horizontal line appeared on the mirror directly above his hand. It moved downwards. A palm-print scanner, I realized. But for what?

That was answered as the mirror sank backwards into its frame, as Trowa removed his hand. It then slid sideways, revealing a metal spiral staircase. Trowa was silent once again as he descended the stairs. Sally was on his heels. I followed a bit more slowly, after making sure that Heero was also part of this strange procession.

The stairs went on for a while, so I assumed that we were somewhere either in the basement or foundations of the place. There was a short corridor away from the stairs, with a ninety degree turn in it. The rest of the corridor was wider. A few short steps from there was a retinal scanner, a punch code and a palm-print scanner. All in front of a reinforced door.

Trowa only used the retinal scanner and the punch code lock. The door opened quickly though, and we all stepped through, before the door shut automatically.

A second panic room? I looked around. Clever. It was almost like a little flat down here. An open-plan kitchen and living room, with three doors leading off the living room, presumably to the bedrooms and bathrooms. A door lead out of the kitchen, I assumed to the stock room.

But right then, I didn't care about that. Not even the fact that it _almost_ looked like they had windows down here.

"Barton, what is going on here?" I demanded.

"We weren't expecting you for another couple of hours." Quatre declared, coming through one of the doors.

"I couldn't take it anymore." Sally fired back.

"Well, you'd best go on through." Quatre shrugged, "I think he's getting better."

"Who, Winner?" I growled.

"Keep your voice down," Quatre chided, "He's asleep. He needs it. You can look for yourselves."

He motioned to the door, which Sally had already gone through, removing her medical kit as she went. I moved towards it, Heero just behind me, more out of solidarity than curiosity.

What we saw caused me to nearly collapse on the floor and Heero to charge towards the bed.

Braided chestnut hair draped over a crisp blue pillow. Colony-pale skin in stark contrast to the blue sheets. I knew there were violet irises hidden behind the closed eyelids.

"Maxwell?" I breathed, even as Heero touched the pale shade with tenderness I had rarely seen in him before, "But how?"

With that one touch, Heero broke free of the dazed, emotionless state he had been in for days. Something I had been trying to achieve for five days.

However, slamming Trowa up against a wall, growling in anger, wasn't the reaction I had been hoping for.

"Barton!" He snarled.

"Calm down, Heero." Quatre laid a gentle hand on Heero's arm, "You'll wake Duo up. He needs his sleep. I'll explain everything in the living room."

We sat down on the sofas. Sally was still checking Duo over.

"Where do you want me to begin?" Quatre asked.

"Try the beginning." I stated.

"Don't interrupt me," Quatre instructed, "It's not the best story. And you're not going to like it. But I _swear_ it's the truth. I swear on Sandrock."

Quatre only ever swore on Sandrock for the important stuff. Where I would swear on my Honour, Quatre swears on Sandrock.

"Talk." Heero demanded. He was not taking this well.

*Flashback*

Quatre's POV

It was about a week before Duo was strong enough to get to the bathroom with help that Lady Une told me that she needed my permission to arrange for some Preventers to talk to Duo about the murders he had confessed to. Apparently as I had 'Power of Attorney' I was in charge of his visitors, as he was underage…

Seriously. Underage. Because the first records of him existing were when he was caught by OZ. I needed to get that sorted; they had it down as his date of birth. Not his birthday. His date of birth.

I mentally catalogued the person who had captured Duo and made the initial filing as mentally incompetent.

However I still had to sort out the problem with the Preventers. I knew there was a high chance that one of the Preventers was involved in the conspiracy. Possibly even directly pulling Duo's strings. If so, then they'd want to talk to him. To find out if he'd talked. To give him new orders. We had been told that during the interviews we were not allowed to be in the room with the Preventers and Duo.

If Duo wasn't talking… Then maybe, just maybe, I could get the other side to incriminate themselves.

I didn't tell anyone about my plan. I wasn't sure if it would work. But I could at least implement it easily.

Step one was to collect the equipment I would need. Not that difficult. Forty Maganacs and a multi-billion dollar company means I can get pretty much what I want, when I want it. And considering that the two items I wanted were produced _by_ Winner Industries, I was fine.

Step two was to give Duo a shower. Trust me; I know Duo's weak spots. With the amount of rest he needed and the physical exertion of moving to the bathroom, he needed my help. And he _wanted_ so badly to wash his hair.

Little trick I learnt in the Maganac Village, years ago, give Duo a head massage and he'll fall asleep. Carrying around all that hair gives him a constant headache. He normally doesn't notice. But he does notice when it's gone. And he _loves_ to have someone who he cares for, care for his hair.

I'd helped him wash it, and then I sat him down backwards on a chair and dried it for him. I worked in a little head massage. He was asleep like a baby.

I remember smirking slightly, even as I removed my two items from my pockets.

The first was a small recording device. Designed to record all noise with perfect clarity. It wasn't a standard one, as it was designed to be concealed inside furnishings with no external microphone. _And_ I'd had this one modified slightly.

It took me a little while, but I managed to manoeuvre Duo's hair, so that I could clip the little bead shaped device over several strands of hair in approximately the middle of Duo's mass of hair. When I redid the braid, it wouldn't even be noticeable, but sound quality wouldn't be compromised. I doubted Duo would even find it if he brushed his hair.

The second device had been much easier to get a hold of. The recording device had had to be specially made, due to its size and shape. But the second item was quite common. A new line that Winner Industries was producing. It was a sort of GPS system. Like the one around his ankle. But I had no illusions. That was only on him for as long as he wanted it on him. Just as he was only a prisoner for as long as he allowed us to keep him locked up.

The item was designed for use on children. To prevent abductions. It was becoming quite the rage among the children. It was placed on a child's scalp and stayed in place. Most children wanted them coloured. They were designed to be no thicker than a corded bracelet and as long as desired. They were also nearly _impossible_ to remove. You actually had to remove part of the scalp… Or wait five years.

The one I had for Duo was coloured to match his hair. I slipped it into his hair not far from the bead.

Now I couldn't loose Duo. And I stood a chance at finding out who was behind the whole scheme.

I knew that whoever was going to be talking to Duo would probably use a disruptor, to prevent broadcasting of the information. That's where my little bug came in. It didn't broadcast. Instead it recorded. Then when I inputted a certain code into my laptop it broadcast all the recording from last time as a micro-spurt. I had to listen to all the recordings, although I usually fast-forwarded when the others were in the room. Those conversations were private.

It was a couple of days later when I was going through the recordings that I struck figurative gold.

"Maxwell." I knew that voice, but I couldn't place it.

"Colonel." Duo obviously knew them as well.

"You broke your deal."

"No. You said the Preventers weren't to _look_ for me. They didn't. They caught me. Before they knew I existed."

"You still got caught. Maybe I should get one of the others to take over."

"You leave them out of this, Une!" Duo yelped.

Lady Une? No. But the voice matched. I didn't want to believe it.

"Now, now, Oh-Two. You agreed."

"Yeah. I did. And I've kept my mouth shut. I confessed about the murders you wanted me to. I didn't seek them out. I haven't tried to contact them. I did everything you wanted me to."

"I gave you the safe-house address…"

"By that time, the witness would have talked. The safe-house would have been a fortress. I wouldn't have… But that's what you wanted." Duo started laughing hysterically, "That's what you wanted. You wanted me to die in a blaze of gunfire. The witness was a plant. _Your_ plant. I tried to keep my anonymity and you didn't want it anymore. Brilliant! I just mucked everything up."

"Yes, you did. You little brat! You were _supposed_ to _die_!"

"Don't worry, Colonel Une. I'll die anyway. You and I both know I won't last three days in jail. Even if I was built like a brick wall, I wouldn't last three days. I killed half the guys' in jail bosses! Then you add in my small build? It's going to be _hell_. But I'll be dead. And out of your hair. Problem solved."

"Not quite."

"Huh?"

"You see if you die in jail… Well, there's political back-lash about jails not being secure Then you add in the fact that _some_ people might see you as a vigilante. Considering that most of your kills were criminals. That'll get out. It'll be a high publicity case. Sixty seven dead and the Preventers clueless? I don't want that. Nor do the others."

"So when do I commit suicide?" Duo asked bluntly. My breath caught in my throat. He sounded so calm.

"We can't have that either. That would imply that you were left alone. And who would believe that a serial killer would commit suicide like that. After so long in custody?"

"So… How am I dying? Or disappearing?"

"You have two weeks. At the end of those two weeks, you will have escaped."

"Back to the grind-stone, huh?"

"Oh no. You see we can't have the Preventers seen as incompetent. Someone might start investigating. You are going to commit suicide by cop or Preventer."

"But if I escape when Heero or Wufei are here…"

"It'll have to be when Winner or Barton are here." I could here the smugness in her voice, "You'll need a hostage. And won't that look good on the news. Preventers bring down escaping serial killer, who was holding Quatre Raberba Winner hostage at the time."

"No… I won't hurt Quatre! I won't hurt Trowa! I won't hurt any of them…" There was a pause, before Duo spoke again. When he did, his voice was rushed… frantic, "No! Okay. I'll do it. Don't. I'll do it." The last sentence was resigned.

"Good boy." She sounded like she was rewarding a pet dog with kind words. It sickened me.

"This wipes the slate clean? No going to them and making them pay the same price?"

"Of course not. That was the deal."

"But you wouldn't care about the deal if I was dead… Oh. That makes so much more sense."

"What does?"

"You've been trying to kill me for years. That's why the assignments got stepped up. You were hoping the exhaustion would make me sloppy so I'd get killed. Only I didn't die. I'm too stubborn. So you started adding those _requirements_. This person in this manner, this place, this time… Anything that would increase the difficulty. Only I didn't die. You must have been losing your temper. So if the thugs and the criminals and the terrorists couldn't kill me… Why not get your dogs to do it? Why not get the Preventers to kill me? Ingenious. I'm impressed."

"You never were very good at following orders."

"Yeah, well. I have problems with authority figures. Especially since they told me to _die_ four times. You didn't tell me I had to die. I don't interpret orders like everyone else. I'm not the Perfect Soldier. I don't self-destruct."

"You weren't allowed to."

"True enough. You even took that away. But they're safe now. I do this last little thing. And they're safe? For ever and ever?"

"You aren't afraid we'll get one of them to do your job?"

"You've been trying to kill me for two years. You don't want an assassin running around anymore. You don't need one. I'm just a broken tool. An _unneeded_ tool. Something to get rid of. And even if you did need one… You can't take Heero. Relena would be upset. Wufei's married. No one would believe that that guy would run. Quatre going missing would be noticed. And he'd kick up a fuss if Trowa vanished. No. I kept my part of the bargain. I do this last little thing… And it all just goes away. They stay safe." Little thing? Dying was a _little_ thing?

"Agreed. You have two weeks, starting from tomorrow. You can choose what you do with them, how you organise your will, etc. And when you die."

"Not like there's much to do. The Preventers have all my stuff in custody. I own nothing else. You'll have your story. Don't worry. I'll be dead in two weeks."

"Good boy. This would have been so much easier…"

"If I could read between the lines? Yeah. Well. Never was too good at that. Just this last little thing to do and you won't have to worry about me ever again."

"Goodbye Oh-Two."

"Rot in hell, Colonel."

"You first."

"I'll see you there."

I sat in stunned silence for a few minutes. It was more than just the words that scared me. Duo really sounded defeated. And Lady Une sounded both confident and patronising. It was only when Trowa entered my office and poked me that I snapped back to reality.

"Listen to this!" I commanded as I rewound the section, "And tell me if I'm going insane. Because I can't have heard what I thought I just heard."

"What is it?" Trowa frowned.

"A recording of a conversation I obtained." I answered. "I won't tell you any more. Just tell me if it's what I think it is."

I watched as Trowa used my headphones and listened. I watched as his face got paler and paler. I watched as his one visible bright green eye got wider and wider. I watched as the emotions pouring of him went from confused to surprised, to angry, to furious.

"How dare she?!" he growled when the recording finished. "I'm going to kill her!"

"You can't!" I snapped. I hated being the voice of reason, "You heard what she said. There's others. And Duo won't talk."

"He's going to kill himself."

"Not if I can help it." I fired back.

"You have a plan?" Trowa stared at me.

"I have the beginnings of one." I replied, "We can't let the others in."

"They need to know."

"Not yet." I shook my head, "Not yet. If my plan works, I'll need honest reactions. And we both know that neither of those two can act worth a damn. They can be emotionless, yes. But falsifying an emotion? Not capable."

"What is the plan?"

"First, you go abduct Sally."

"What?" Trowa stared, "No offence to Sally, but we can't trust anyone at the moment…"

"We can trust Sally," I countered, "Remember? Duo approved of her. She's not involved. And we're going to need a doctor. Particularly a doctor involved in the Resistance."

"What have you got in mind?" Trowa cocked his head.

"A completely stupid idea." I smirked, "But I'll reckon it'll work."

"What does this plan involve?"

"It's quite simple. We kill Duo before he does his suicidal escape."

"What?!" Trowa yelled, "When did that become a valid option? What are you thinking? Are you going Zero? What the hell?!"

I hadn't expected his reaction to be any less than it was. I was a bit disappointed that he didn't trust me. But I have a sense for the dramatic.

"Relax," I smiled, "It won't be a true death. But if what the Maganac Corps told me once is true… We've got a very good option. But we _need_ Sally."

You see, during the Eve War the Maganacs had worked alongside the Resistance for a while. They told me afterwards of a method that Sally had used to rescue people from OZ. To liberate key people without OZ realizing.

It involved a drug. It was slow acting. Could take up to two weeks to take full effect. But what it did was incredible. It made the body react as if it was injured. As if it was dying. As if they had a variation on the L2 Plague. No one recognised the parallel. However at the end, the victim's heart-rate would rise dramatically and then drop suddenly. Appearing to stop totally. Putting the person in to a medically induced coma. Completely reversible, with the right drug and treatment.

And guess who had been in charge of this particular little cocktail? Well, everyone always said that we Pilots had the Devil's own luck. Or in this particular case Shinigami's.

It could be dangerous. Some patients had had serious reactions to the drug. Ending up in intensive care for most of the War. But it was the only chance we had.

It was ridiculously easy. Trowa and I always took the night shift with Duo. A careful nerve-pinch to make sure he didn't wake up and Sally injected him between his toes. Then all we had had to do was wait. What with Duo's weakened condition, he'd barely made it one week before the final stage.

The moment Duo was declared dead I started on the protests. Duo wasn't going to have an autopsy. That went against my religion, I claimed. True. But not the point.

The cremation? Well, Duo taught me a lot of things over a very short amount of time during the War. The skill I use most often is the ability to lie with a straight face and no tells. For someone who doesn't lie, Duo knows a _lot_ about lying.

I knew we'd eventually have to fill Heero and Wufei in. But it couldn't be immediately. They needed to be seen to be grieving. Six days had sounded like a nice number. So I'd told Sally to bring them over at about noon on the sixth day after Duo's death.

They'd arrived a little after breakfast.

*End Flashback*

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We listened to Quatre's tale. I couldn't believe it. Commander Une? Part of this conspiracy? One of those threatening our lives? Why? To what purpose? It couldn't just be the deaths of those she failed to capture. There was another reason. There had to be. She could have used an OZ assassin, instead of Duo. It would have been easier… So why Duo? It had to be personal.

I couldn't make any sense of it.

"Why between the toes?" I asked just to break the silence really.

"You two have eagle-eyes." Sally replied, "You'd have spotted a standard injection site. Between the toes was less risky."

"Will he be alright?" Heero breathed.

"A slight reaction to the drug." Sally shrugged, "I've seen worse. He's had a small set back, but he should be back to where I'd expect a normal person to be in a few days. Maybe less."

"There's only really one problem." Quatre sighed.

"Which is?" I frowned.

"He _still_ won't talk." Trowa snarled, "We've tried persuading him, but he refuses to."

"He'll talk to me." Heero declared.

"Calm down, Heero." I held up one hand, "I think you're a little close to this."

"Chang." He growled.

"I'm not saying _don't_ talk to him," I countered, "But not about this. I know you're angry at Trowa, Quatre and Sally, so am I. But they did was necessary. What was needed. Go punch the punching bags. You're too close."

"You barely know him!" Heero snarled.

"True," I accepted that, "I do barely know him. I dismissed him during the War. I never treated him that well… But it was to _me_ that he confessed his crimes. I've got a little distance. I think he needs that. You can try afterwards. But I think we need to think about what is best for _Duo_. As well as what he wants.

"Think about it. He's been on his own for seven years. No back-up. No hope. He's been living the War for seven years… _without_ _us_. Then he comes back. But as a Prisoner of War… That's not how we treated him… But that's _probably_ how it felt to him. Even if we are his friends. He could have seen us as kindly jailors.

"He's not the Duo we remember. Sure, he's in there somewhere. But right now… He's trying to protect us. I've seen this before. A couple of cases, right after the War. Before you joined, Heero. Let me try. Worst thing that happens, is that I fail."

"You think he'll talk to you?" Quatre was puzzled, "He wouldn't to me… And I'm practically his brother."

"Let me try." I insisted, "Nataku! It won't hurt. I think he doesn't want the people closest to him to realize just what he did for us. Let me try."

I will _never_ know where my argument came from. Or why I was so eloquent that day. But it worked. The others left, primarily to watch Heero destroy a punching bag or ten.

It was the truth though. Duo always was more… I want to say emotional, but that's more Quatre's territory. I'd say the best term was protective. He was trying to protect us. Both from the enemy and what he'd had to do to protect us. Trying to keep the dirt that he imagined stained his soul from contaminating ours as well. Trying to stop us from feeling guilt at the lengths he had gone to, to keep us safe.

He was failing miserably. But he was trying all the same. His Honour demanded it of him.

I sat waiting for Duo to wake up. Meanwhile I admired Quatre's little Panic-_Flat_. I especially liked the flat vid-screens on the walls, programmed to give the illusion of windows.

"Hey." I smiled as Duo stirred.

"Your turn to try?" Duo fired back, even as I positioned his breakfast in front of him.

"My turn to explain," I countered. My course was decided. My decision made, "Duo, I understand that you're trying to protect us. That your Honour demands that we are kept safe. However you are unaware of a few details."

"Which are?" He spoke around a mouthful of sausage and bread.

"We now _know_ that a conspiracy exists. We look around and every person we see is a suspect. We don't know how far this conspiracy goes. Only you do. We don't know who to trust. We don't know who to be cautious around. You spent seven years waiting for the dagger in your back. Now we're waiting for that dagger. Ignorance is not bliss, it is oblivion.

"We know just enough to be afraid. But not the form the threat takes. Not the number of the enemy. The only people we can trust are each other. And Sally.

"Before, I looked at the list Quatre had created and dismissed most of them. Believing that their morals and their Honour would not allow them to take part in such a travesty of Justice. But then I learned that Commander Une is one of those involved. So all those on Quatre's list are now viable suspects again.

"Duo, you can't leave us like this. Ever paranoid. You've suffered this. Don't put us through it as well. Don't make Quatre look at every member of the Maganacs with caution and wariness. Don't make Trowa wonder if the dangers of this conspiracy are members of his friends, both here and in the circus. Don't make Heero and I wonder if another Preventer, someone we are supposed to trust to watch our backs, will betray us. Please, my friend. Don't make us suffer like this."

There was a pause as Duo thought. I didn't rush him. Long kept secrets are hard to tell. I know that. I still find it hard to talk about Nataku.

"I want your word, Wufei." Duo spoke slowly, "I want you to swear on your Honour that you will not kill, nor allow the person you are automatically going to blame for this to die."

"You have it my friend." I was surprised by the request, but not that much. It was better that this person be sentenced and thus clear Duo than they die.

"I want your word that you will uphold both the spirit and the letter of that promise."

"Of course my friend." A double check? That was surprising.

"Alright." Duo hung his head, "I'll tell you the nature of the threat. I can't…. I can't do this twice Wufei. Please don't make me."

"I understand, Duo." Well, it wasn't everything. It wasn't names. But it was a start. We could get him to talk more, later. I often find that once people start telling secrets they find it hard to stop.

"Please, swear it for me." Duo pleaded.

"I swear on my word and my Honour," I spoke solemnly, "That I will not kill nor allow the person I will initially blame for this to die. I swear to keep both the spirit and letter of this vow."

I have to admit I was curious. Who was this mysterious person I would blame? Why did Duo want me to protect them? Why _did_ he wish to protect them? After all this was the person who effectively sent him to Hell. I couldn't understand it. But Duo would explain all; I hoped.

He told me the nature of the threat.

And I saw red.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Thank you to all my reviewers. Together you provided me with fourteen reviews.

I almost got killed by my 'friendly' near-by reviewer. Apparently my cliff-hanger went down _really_ well! *Grins manically*.

Windwraith – I keep on meaning to watch the 'Princess Bride'. You like?

Qualmi – I'll keep it coming.

SisterFreaks – You still alive there?

Wind Dancer1981 – *Hands over band-aids*. Will these help your breaking heart?

Katerina Shinigami – I don't know who's directing Duo at the moment. The muse doesn't like to tell me its name. And you were right not to believe.

Raelyn-Mage – You can't sic Quatre on me! It was _his_ idea! What are you going to do with your tears now, by the way?

Leora chan – You refuse to believe? Good choice.

Whitetiger1589 – True. I can't kill Shinimagi… At least not _yet_. Honestly I have no clue where this is going. I'll tell you when I get there.

Jak'idiot – You win. Quatre is to blame.

Toraus – I hate work. On my feet from 9 to 6. Hell on Earth.

Anonymous Void – Hidden Mastermind? I'm getting there. You like?

Littlewoman – It's never over until the fat lady sings. And I can't even hear her introduction. Thanks for the compliments though.

Yuhukili – *Bows and takes off hat*. You honour me. And yes, Sally is at fault… _partially_. And I see you're a member of that proud club of procrastination as well. I'm currently meant to be tidying.

Shadowalchemist198 – It's not true! I take it you weren't expecting that last chapter?


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Trowa's POV

Wufei burst into the gym. A scowl on his face. He split the first punching-bag he hit with one blow. Even Heero wasn't that mad. In fact, I had only seen one person that angry before. And that had been with outside influences. It scared me slightly. Wufei was going Zero on us, without having used the Zero system for long periods of time.

Heero engaged him in combat, equally willing to get his frustration out on something a bit more satisfying to punch than an inanimate bag.

It was like watching two wild animals fighting for territory or a mate. All rage and anger and something else. No… only something else on Wufei's part. Heero was at least _trying_ to block some of the blows aimed at him. Wufei wasn't. He was purely offensive. That isn't Wufei's style. He's changed a great deal since that hot-headed youth attacked General Trieze Khushrenada. He's usually less offensive. More true to the style of martial arts he has practiced since a child. Trying to take his opponent down in the fewest number of moves, yet still protecting himself.

Wufei's shouts of rage and frustration weren't exactly helpful either. No words were articulated. Just pure emotion. Anger. Rage. And something else.

Even Heero couldn't keep up. The onslaught of blows continued after Heero had gotten his anger out, forcing Heero completely onto the defensive.

Still Wufei didn't stop. His blows continued.

It was then that I realized that we would have to step in. If Wufei could wear out Heero, then things were worse than we had anticipated. What had Duo said? Or _not_ said as the case may be. Although if Duo hadn't talked, then Wufei would not have lost his temper. At least not to that extent.

I dropped from my position on the wires, forgoing my customary spins as I did so. We had to stop Wufei before he hurt someone. By the looks of it, he was going to hurt himself.

It was only after I managed to land behind Wufei and pull him into a full nelson that I realized just how bad the situation was. He hadn't heard me land. He hadn't _sensed_ me land. And he's pretty difficult to sneak up on.

Then I looked at his face. He was crying. I've never seen Wufei cry before.

Almost as if realizing his impotence, Wufei collapsed, until I was the only thing holding him up.

"All my fault." He breathed, as I lowered him to the ground. Quatre, Heero and Sally were rushing all forward to try and comfort the distraught dragon.

"What is?" I asked.

"All my fault. It's all my fault! Nataku! I failed you. Again!"

"He's not making any sense." Sally declared. "Damn it! I left my sedatives in your office, Quatre. Trowa, can you bring him? Heero, just don't bleed on the nice carpet. It's a _pain_ to get out. And I don't want to upset Quatre's staff."

We all re-entered the office. I forcibly sat Wufei down on the floor, as he didn't look like he would managed a chair, even one with arm rests. Sally injected him with a mild sedative, designed to calm a patient, not to knock-out.

"Wufei." Quatre sat down next to Wufei, "What did Duo say? What did he tell you? Who's involved?"

"He didn't say." Wufei shook his head.

"Then what's the matter?" Heero looked up.

"Did you know there's a hidden clause in our pardons?" Wufei asked.

"Our pardons?" I frowned.

"Our War Crimes Pardons." Wufei explained.

"A hidden clause?" Quatre frowned, "What does it entail?"

"If any member of the party known as the Gundam Pilots," Wufei sounded like he was reciting, "Should ever bear arms against the United Earth Sphere Nation then all the pardons of the Gundam Pilots shall be revoked and trials may proceed for all the crimes they committed during the Eve War."

"Allah!"

"No!" Heero growled.

"Fuck!" Sally swore.

I didn't speak. I didn't have the words. No _wonder_ Wufei was blaming himself. No _wonder_ Duo gave me all those variable odds. It was the perfect leverage.

"I'd be up before the judges in a heart-beat." Quatre breathed, "And no-one would be satisfied until I'd been sentenced to life, at the very _least_. For the colony I destroyed."

"He's been paying for our crimes." Wufei declared, "I stand a better chance than you, Quatre. Most of my acts, during the War, were performed on soldiers. Even if they were half-trained cadets. But if you add in those I committed under the banner of Mariamaia… Well, Duo gave a pretty good estimation of the odds."

"Mine should be equal to yours." Heero countered, "I killed those innocents on the shuttle."

"But you also saved the Earth." I argued, "That would be taken into account. No, Duo estimated it about right. My atrocity was almost detonating Heavyarms inside a tent filled with OZ soldiers and their families. The fact that I did not complete my mission would stand me in good stead, but I would still run some risk at a trial."

"What about Duo?" Sally asked. "What crimes did he commit in the name of peace?"

"None to my knowledge." Quatre spoke up, "Unless being present at New Edwards counts."

"He was sentenced to death," Heero frowned, "But I think most courts would overturn that."

"There was the blowing up of part of your hospital." I pointed out.

"Fiddlesticks!" Sally snorted, "That was a military hospital. And Duo was very careful. Only armed guards were hurt and one patient died. And he had a heart attack because of the noise of the explosion. Anyone prosecuting him for that… is an idiot."

"No crimes?" Quatre breathed. "How'd he manage that?"

"He's paid for our crimes." Wufei's words were choked, "For our crimes. He's paid a thousand-fold. For _my_ crimes. For _my_ betrayal. It's all my fault. I should be the one who paid. It's not fair!"

Wufei had made a mistake. He had paid for the mistake. And then someone had made Duo pay _again_. That was the entirety of the thought running through my mind.

"We need to know who." I pointed out.

"Duo's not going to deny us this time." Heero growled.

"Take it easy." Quatre tapped Heero, "You scare him now… And I don't know if he'll ever recover. Let alone love you the way you want."

"Does he?" Heero almost begged.

I guess he was a _little_ more serious about Duo than I had thought. I had always known that he loved our little braided jester. It was hard not to. Even before I had met Duo, Heero had talked about him a little bit. I had heard the respect in his voice. The awe. I had known that the blow during the Mariamaia Rebellion was for Duo's sake. And a sign of respect in a strange way. Heero had done an equal exchange of blows. He wouldn't do that for just _anyone_.

But I had always thought that it was more… _platonic_ than anything else. Trust Quatre to see the truth. Although I was a little upset that he hadn't thought to inform me of this fact.

"I don't know." Quatre shrugged, "I daren't read him. He's all twisted up inside… It _hurts_. When he's all straightened out… Then _he_ might know what he feels. What he wants."

We made our way back down to the Safe-Room. We moved almost in silence. Only Quatre speaking and then only to open the doors.

Like ghosts we entered Duo's room. He seemed to be expecting us. He glanced at us, and then looked away. As if he was ashamed. I hoped it was shame. I would rather he was ashamed than frightened. Ashamed I could deal with. It was the same emotion I felt right then. I was ashamed. Ashamed of my own actions. Ashamed that my own actions had caused this, in part.

"Duo." Quatre spoke first, "We understand. We thank you. We still think you're a stupid _idiot_ for doing what you did. You should have come to us. But then again, we should have realized you had your reasons. We should have been more open, so that you felt that you _could_ come to us. Not wrapped up in our own little worlds. We're sorry. We need to fix this. We need to know who."

"What if I make everything worse?" Duo still wasn't looking at us. "What if I make everything worse?"

"We know there are daggers aimed at our backs." Wufei countered, "We need to know where from. We can't live constantly on guard, Duo. We can't. Not any more. We need to know. I can't play Caesar to their Brutus, Duo."

"But…" Duo stalled, "You know some of them… I don't want to destroy your friendships… Your _lives_!"

"If they are truly our friends," Quatre smiled gently, "Then they wouldn't be threatening us. Remember that lesson you taught me on L4?"

"Which one?" Duo frowned, finally turning to look at us. I could see red rims to his eyes.

I can remember my thoughts clearly:

'Oh Duo. You had been crying? Why? Fear of us? Please, no. We're not angry at you. Wufei wasn't angry at _you_! You're our brother!'

"The difference between true friends and fair-weather friends." Quatre replied, "Or as you put it… Your gang and a grass. Better we learn now, before they complete their threats than when they carry them out."

"Claudia Mann." Duo started to list. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see my fellow pilots hanging onto Duo's every word, now. The dam had broken. The once caged bird was singing.

"Karla Stone. Quinton Nielsen. Hung Tanner." I had no doubt that my friends were inscribing these names on their minds, as I was. Each one would pay. And they would pay dearly. What they took from us was worth more than gold or jewels. They took our friend. Our brother. Our linch-pin. We had survived together by clinging close. But we had not thrived as we could have done.

"Mizuno Toshino. Bahadur Isa…. And…" He murmured; I didn't hear the last name.

"Could you repeat the last name, Duo?" Quatre hadn't heard it either.

"The Foreign Minister." Duo closed his eyes and turned his head away from us.

"Relena?" I don't know who spoke. I was too much in shock to notice. For all I know, it was my voice that spoke the name aloud.

"Are you sure?" Wufei frowned.

"How did the current Foreign Minister gain her post?" Duo asked us. He was avoiding using her name. Why? Distancing himself? From the woman who had once been an innocent young girl, whom he had protected. For whom he would have _died_?

"Relena," I didn't fail to notice the flinch that my words caused… No, the flinch the _name_ caused. "Was the Vice-Foreign Minister. When the Foreign Minister, Nickolas Ramirez, died, she was elected to his post."

"How did he die?" Duo breathed.

"Of natural causes," Quatre began, "Oh Duo!" He was crawling across the bed to pull Duo into a fierce hug, "You didn't! You didn't!"

"He wasn't on the list." Wufei pointed out.

"Blacker than black." Duo replied, "I was to commit the deed then forget I ever did. There were a few like that. Things I was to _never_ confess to. Even under torture."

We had winced and felt bad at sixty seven murders on our tally. Now it was sixty eight. And no end in sight. What was the price for our freedom? How many lives on our consciences?

Quatre settled himself to support his older brother, keeping Duo in his comforting embrace.

"Didn't the other leading candidate also die?" Heero's remark was off-hand. Not meant to harm. But none of us failed to notice the flinch that it caused in Duo.

"Giovanni Bush was too popular." Duo whispered, "He… was too much competition."

"Allah!" Quatre started to stroke Duo's braid.

"What about the attempted assassination of Relena?" Sally joined in the questioning.

"I hit what I was aiming at." Duo's voice was quiet, "She wanted the sympathy votes. She wanted to win by a land-slide…"

"Oh, Duo!" Quatre pulled Duo tighter into the hug. I found myself settling down next to Duo, on the opposite side to Quatre, to lend my support as well.

"Relena gave you those orders?" Wufei appeared to be stuck on that concept.

"From her lips to Death's ears." Duo nodded slowly, "I think Dorothy Catalonia is involved. But I have no proof. I have had no interaction with her."

Duo fell silent again. As if he had used up all his words. I could feel the tension in his body. I didn't need Quatre's Space-Heart to know that Duo was afraid. I started to rub his back in an attempt to comfort him.

In hind-sight we should have expected Duo to start crying. All the burden was off him now. The load that had broken his back was lifted. Still it was a surprise when he just collapsed.

Not a sound escaped his lips though. Duo had learnt the same lessons I had it seemed. Cry all you want… No one will help you. But if they see that are weak, they might just decide to harm you. So keep quiet. It'll keep you safe. Keep hidden when you cry. So they won't see you are weak.

I wondered if the others knew just how hard it was for Duo to cry. And just how much it showed that he trusted us, by the fact that he was willing to cry in front of us. Seven years, and he still trusted us to watch his back.

The emotional torrent drained the remaining energy from Duo. Not too surprising really. Quatre and I moved carefully, so as not to wake him. In time we would need more answers. Details about how he had survived. How he had received his targets. How he had been paid. How much he had been paid. How he had travelled. How many was the true number of lives he had taken. And in time we would get the answers. We had gotten Duo to talk about the past seven years freely. He would not close off now. Not if we didn't let him.

But that was for later.

We had our list. We had our targets. We had our mission. We had our strategist. We had our assassin. We had our dragon. We had our mercenary. We had our stealth-expert. We were one. We were whole.

I remember thinking: 'Lord, have mercy on our enemy…' For we _wouldn't_.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

You people Honour me. Twenty reviews? I've been considering an average of ten per chapter as a major achievement! I hope to continue living up to your expectations.

Wind Dancer1981 – Suspense is my friend. The ride is not nearly over yet.

Jak'idiot – Glad you like it.

Windwraith – Currently have a copy of the 'Princess Bride' awaiting my nearest point of free time. Also… stop reading my _mind_!

Daemonmaxwell – Lazarus has returned from the grave, and people are going to get their butts kicked.

Illusion-Factory – Hope this is quick enough. Also I've been meaning to ask for a while: who is depicted in your Avatar? I don't think I've seen them before. And it's annoying me.

Hellfire – I hope I continue to please.

Leora chan – Glad to know that I'm managing a few unexpected twists and turns in this story.

Katerina Shinigami – You get it? And yeah I like Sally too. I always thought she was a bit under-developed as a character. Though it does give me plenty of room to play.

Anonymous Void – Well, Heero can't be brilliant at everything. And I'm not rushing this. Everything will come where it needs to come. Though where that is… I can't tell you at the moment.

Qualmi-chan – Glad you think I'm doing well.

PirateCaptainBo – Quick enough for you two?

Blah Blah – I have a steady pace. If I post too quickly, I'll run out of chapters. Then there'll be a problem.

Toraus – You wait after work. I'll write during my lunch break. I'm pleased you're enjoying this.

SisterFreaks – I'm thinking of making cliffhangers my specialty. Sounds good? As for your ghost… Are you a friendly one? Because I really don't like horror movies.

Raelyn-Mage – Hey! How come I get pouted at and Quatre doesn't? As for my web… Well, 'Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive' and all that.

Yuhukili – Good luck with your paper. I started writing this when I should have been revising. It was easier. I think we both have problems.

Shadowalchemist198 – Keep control of your shakes. I'm glad you think I'm doing well.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – I think I've answered your question.

Anonymous 25 – Thank you for your praise. Suspense always fun to play with. Needless to say I've read far to many mystery novels.

Whitetiger1589 – Glad to know I've not made this too implausible. And as for Quatre… Well, remember he did build an entire Gundam just to get revenge for his Father. And that was _without_ Zero mucking up his brain.

Thank you all, once again.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Quatre's POV

"So what's the battle plan?" Sally asked, three days after Duo's confession.

We had more details. Duo had surrendered to us. He had given up nearly every detail of the crimes he had committed in the past seven years. It made me feel sick. He hadn't just been used as an assassin. He had stolen, kidnapped and provided blackmail material. Each and every name he had given was involved in the United Earth Sphere Nation government, most of them at high levels.

Lady Une had been the most prolific user of Duo's skills in assassination, sixty seven deaths from her. But the others had used Duo almost as frequently in other ways. Duo had kept them in office. Any opposition suffered. They either were blackmailed into standing down, their secrets splashed over every news-service, their loved ones were kidnapped and the ransom was their bowing out of whatever they were involved in or they found that they were missing important items in their campaign, like funding, supporters or even the proof of corruption. Any time the Conspirators needed funding for their own campaigns, Duo was sent to deal with the lack of funds.

If anyone started investigating how they were still in office, Duo was sent to… deal with the problem.

They had used Duo to keep the secret of Duo's deeds. Clever. Ingenious even. But that just meant there was a weak link. Duo.

We knew how he had received his assignments. Usually by text-message to a set location and time. Normally directly from them. From their lips to Death's ears, as Duo had said. The only person who hadn't done that all the time was Lady Une. Her missions were the only ones Duo was allowed to confess to. They often came as an e-mail to an anonymous account, _from_ an anonymous account. Duo had set the account up so that all e-mails were forwarded to his mobile as a text-message.

He never contacted them. He wasn't allowed to.

We knew he had been given an allowance every month. One that he had to pick up from designated spots. At designated times. From his taskmasters. That's what really got me. The amount they had been giving him was barely enough to keep him alive. And that was at the start of the seven years. For the past three they had been reducing it. His last _allowance_ was barely enough to buy food for a week.

He had been travelling from colony to colony by stowing away or working his passage. Allah, they expected him to come and go as they willed, but didn't even provide him with the means to do so.

He had been like a dog to them. Sent away and called to heel at their will… No, not like a dog. Because at least you _care_ for a dog.

It had surprised Sally to discover that one of the cases she had worked on the edges of was the work of Duo. Not that they'd ever solved the case. It was still a cold case.

We had our targets. The problem was we weren't quite sure what to do. Killing them all wouldn't help. Duo would still be in trouble with the law. We'd go down as accomplices. We didn't want that. Duo wouldn't survive jail. His estimation of how long he'd live was a little on the negative side in my opinion. But not far wrong.

"Well, assassination is out." Trowa sighed.

"We can't arrest them, either." Wufei added, "They're too highly placed to arrest on a whim. We'd never get someone to sign the warrants, unless we had absolute proof."

"All we have is Duo's word." Heero agreed, "_We_ may know he doesn't lie. But no-one else would believe it. They are respected. Duo would be laughed all the way to jail."

"Maybe…" Sally looked down at the list of names.

"What is it?" I asked, "Anything is good at this point."

"Well," Sally frowned slightly, "When I was a little girl, I kept a diary. I wrote everything in it. About half of these names are women… They might still."

"True," I nodded, "I know at least six sisters still keep diaries."

"We still need to get a hold of them." Trowa pointed out.

"Could the men not keep a diary as well?" Heero queried, "I recall Dr J keeping extensive records."

"Maybe." I thought about it, "We'll have to check them as well."

"Is anyone else seeing the irony here?" Trowa muttered.

"What do you mean?" Wufei looked at him.

"Duo has being doing assassination missions," Trowa replied, "Heero's speciality. And a side-line of mine. Now we've got to do a stealth mission. Duo's speciality."

"Well," I shrugged, "We'll have to make do. What experience have we got?"

"Don't ask me to plan," Wufei held up both hands in mock surrender, "I did the Gibraltar job during the War."

We all winced in unison at that. It had been one of our rare failures. And a spectacular one at that. Not only had Wufei failed to retrieve the data required, but he had alerted OZ to his presence and the Gundams' interest in the research facility. Wufei had sworn off all infiltration and retrieval missions for the rest of the War. It had taken a great deal of time before he was willing to do them for the Preventers even.

None of us mentioned the fact that Duo slipped into the facility a mere week later, despite the extra security and escaped unnoticed.

"I did five." I confessed.

"Nine." Trowa was blunt, "Including that job in Siberia." One of the more difficult ones, "However six of mine were long term infiltrations. Not Duo's standard 'in-and-out'."

That was true. Trowa and Duo had matching but opposite skills. They could do each others methods, but… Well, if you wanted a quick one you went to Duo, a slower infiltration was nearly always Trowa's. Mission planning had gotten a _lot_ easier during the War when we'd all sat down and told each other our specialities. Then Heero had run us through a series of challenges to check for our strengths and weaknesses.

"Two." Heero added his experience.

"Two?" I stared at him in mixed shock and horror, "You were partnered with _Duo_ for most of the first half of the War. What happened?"

"Duo went on upwards of a dozen missions of this type," Heero shrugged, "I may have been his partner in them, but my role was to stay within contact range to provide a distraction should he get into trouble. We all know Duo did the more risky 'in-and-outs'."

"True." I sighed, "Sally?"

"Don't look at me." Sally snorted, "I was more offensive than sneaky. I was running a Resistance group. I usually got someone else to do those."

"How about sabotage missions?" I asked, "Those are similar."

"If you only count those where I blew the place up after I _left_." Heero frowned, "Rather than those where the place was blowing up around me… Seven."

"Eight." Trowa supplied.

"Three." Wufei got a couple of shocked looks from us, "I'm good at explosives… Just not the sneaking part. Goes against my culture. I did nearly fifteen where I ran out while the buildings were catching fire."

"Five." I added, "Three of those with Duo."

"Two." Sally grinned. "Although I did nearly twenty where things were blowing up as I ran away."

"Well," I looked at the others, "Let's tackle this how we did during the War. The situation… Duo is on a solo mission. Long term. We have to obtain copies… Not the originals… Copies of any diaries or journals that these people may use. These records may be on computers or in paper form. These are people with high security around their homes…"

"I'll get the blueprints." Heero opened his laptop. Not the same one from the War, of course. But it still made me smile. Some things never change.

"See if you can hack their personal computers while you're at it." Wufei instructed, "I'll get the paperwork sorted."

"Paperwork?" I stared at Wufei.

"In extreme circumstances," Wufei smirked, "Preventer Agents may obtain evidence, via unconventional means without warrants or informing anyone further up the command chain. The reasons must come from a reliable source. However the reasons have to be laid out clearly and contained in a date-sealed security box, for a maximum of two years. After that the information must be released."

"When did that come in?" Trowa stared.

"About two years ago." Wufei was smug, then his face fell, "The United Earth Sphere Alliance pushed it through just over two years ago. They saw this coming. That's why they had to get rid of Duo."

"If he was dead…" Sally had picked it up.

"There was no reason to investigate." Heero breathed.

How close? How close had we come to losing Duo completely and never finding out why?

"Any suggestions for a plan?" Sally looked around.

"Relena's got that ball coming up." I pointed out, "If Heero and I are mingling… Trowa could probably investigate, along with Sally and maybe Wufei."

"I almost wish we were back in the War." Wufei sighed, "I hate indirect methods."

"Well," Trowa shrugged, "We don't have much choice. We've got to do it this way."

"Quatre," Heero looked up at me, "I'll print off the blueprints. Do you think you and Trowa can come up with some plans? Wufei, Sally and I will need to make some face time at the Preventers, if we are to fool Lady Une into believing that Duo is dead."

"Be careful," I instructed, "We've already seen and heard what they're capable of. We need to move quickly, but safely. They've harmed one of us. Let's not make it any worse."

"Understood." Heero nodded.

"We can't let them know what we're up to," Trowa agreed with me, "Until we are ready to spring the trap."

"We'll manage," Sally grinned, "You boys always manage somehow."

"Is there anyone else we could involve?" I asked, "Anyone who might be able to help? Apart from the Maganacs. Now that we know all the details, I'll tell Rashid. Unless anyone else can think a reason not to."

"As long as he keeps it to himself." Wufei replied, "The fewer people who know, the better."

"I would like to inform Noin." Sally suggested.

"No," Trowa shook his head, "She's married to Zechs, and Zechs is protective of Relena. Might do more harm than good."

"You're not saying she's involved?" Sally stared.

Yes, we were still working on the assumption that there were more people involved in the conspiracy. Just because Duo didn't know them, didn't mean they didn't exist. Also they might just provide information, not knowing Duo's role in everything.

"No," I shook my head, "I remember the Bill, Wufei mentioned, being put through. Zechs both proposed it and fought for it. It endangered the conspiracy. He's not part of it. He's not even aware of it. But…"

"He'll still try to protect Relena." Heero took over for me.

"Exactly." I agreed, "No offence to Zechs, but he's a little blind when it comes to Relena."

"Yeah," Sally nodded, "I know people say power corrupts, but I'm finding it hard to believe that she did this."

"She has changed." I shrugged, "She's not the girl I knew. I think she would be a lot better if someone had said 'No' to her more. She reminds me of some of my sisters, the younger ones. The ones that got spoiled horribly by the older ones."

"And you?" Sally teased, "You must have been spoilt rotten."

"Rashid knocked it out of me." I fired back. I don't like to think about how I behaved before meeting the Maganacs. A little brat is too… mild a description. I was angry at a lot of people. For no good reason. I had _nothing_ to be angry about. My life had not been hard… Not like Duo's… or Trowa's… or even Heero's.

"I'll cover the hacking." Heero moved us onto the division of labour.

"I'll cover our backsides." Wufei sighed. I could tell he hated this. Not only did he believe he was to blame… but this was entirely out of his comfort zone. He felt useless.

"I'll keep my ear to the ground," Sally declared, "I might pick up a rumour or something."

"I'll help Quatre plan the missions." Trowa announced, "Between the two of us, we should come up with reasonable plans quickly. Time is of the essence."

"Yes," I smiled, "Duo won't stay in my basement forever. No matter how pretty the room looks."

"Can't you lock it?" Heero asked.

"We're talking about _Duo_ here." I reminded, "I'm pretty sure that no matter _what_ locks I put on the door, he'd manage to get out. I do have it set to the highest security, so he should have some difficulty getting out. But he'd still get out. It's just a matter of when."

"The room's set up as an emergency retreat," Trowa pointed out to the others, "Not a prison. But it can function as a temporary one."

"But I don't want to do that." I countered, "He's my… _our_ friend. Not an enemy. And right now… I don't think he'll run. He doesn't have anywhere to go."

I said the last line sadly. It was true. Duo had no home to go to. No family. We were pretty much his only friends. He might find refuge among the Sweepers… But I doubted it. There were too many of them. Before, yes, Duo would have been in his element. But now, he flinched even from us. He flinched when there were the four of us in a room with him. He wouldn't be able to cope with crowds.

Duo would need to do a great deal of healing before he ventured out into the world again. Not just his physical wounds, but his emotional and mental ones as well. Trowa, Sally and I had managed to get it through the others heads that it would take time and patience.

I wanted to contact Howard. To get his advice on how best to help Duo. But I didn't dare. The more people who knew, the more dangerous it would get. I would _have_ to tell Rashid, if only so that he could cover for Trowa and me.

Well, it would only be for a little while longer. We were the Gundam Pilots… What could defeat us?

I should have remembered pride comes before a fall.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Wind Dancer1981 – Was this quick enough?

Daemonmaxwell – Really glad you like it. The wording was a little difficult.

Anonymous Void – Oh how true you are. And as for Relena, yes she gets cast as the bad guy a great deal, but her voice gets on my nerves.

Katerina Shinigami – More as you requested, my lady.

Hellfire – Thanks for the review.

Whitetiger1589 – Revenge? Wait and see.

Toraus – I've been trying to write a Wufei vent for a while. But finding his words is a little out of my reach at the moment. I don't have enough understanding of his culture… However I am learning at the knees of Professor Google and Doctor Wikipedia. A physical rant is all I can manage at the moment.

Clovermax – True friends. The ones that will kick the asses of the rest of the world when they turn their backs on you.

Illusion-Factory – For slackers I always place Shikamaru for Naruto near the top of the list. Glad you liked the chapter.

Leora chan – Duo's mind is _really_ mucked up right now. I'm going delving down there at some point. With a torch and a rope. Wish me luck.

OMG – Caps lock off please. But glad you like it.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – Don't we all know payback is a female dog. The plot twist I have had in my head from the beginning. Glad it was unexpected.

Vulcana – Death may be too good for them… But who's to say that the Gundam Boys won't be feeling merciful… Hang on… That's a stupid idea.

Raelyn-Mage – And to think I only started this for experience in how to write a multiple view points story. Glad you're enjoying it. And really like your avatar. Where'd you get it? I think I need something.

Tenshi_nanashi – You got my views down perfectly. Yes, the Gundam boys _are_ Duo's family. And I'm really glad you enjoyed this chapter.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

1235467890

Trowa's POV

In hindsight… we should have asked Duo to help. At least with the planning stage. In hindsight… we should have been more careful. In hindsight… we should have been less arrogant.

It seemed as if everything went off perfectly. Out of the eight people we knew were involved, plus Dorothy, three of them had kept detailed journals. Relena being one of them. Lady Une had not. Then again, I wasn't surprised. She has an incredibly keen mind. She would know the dangers of keeping a journal.

I don't know what we missed. A tell. An alarm. A camera…

We thought that we held all the cards. We thought that we were unstoppable. Our prey didn't know that there were predators around. Never mind that we knew who to target.

We thought we were invincible. That we were the Gundam Pilots that we always had been.

We forgot that even during the War we failed sometimes. We forgot that we were human. We forgot that there were only four of us working, where five were needed. Sally just didn't have the skills to slip into Duo's role.

We were blind to our weakness. And that made us weaker.

Neither Quatre nor I suspected anything when Relena invited us over for tea. Why should we? We believed she didn't know. We believed she was oblivious to our schemes. We believed that she believed that Duo was dead and gone. We believed that she believed that their secrets had died with Duo.

It turns out that the conspiracy was both smarter and more organised than we thought.

Yes, we had the information. Yes, we had the proof. But we were still working on separating the relevant information from the irrelevant.

I didn't see anything in Relena's attitude. There were no clues. No tells. Nothing to warn me. And judging by how Quatre reacted, he received no warning either. Though he doesn't like to pry… That could have been a mistake. As much as I love Quatre and his honesty, sometimes I wish he would be a little more paranoid. Not that I can really tell him that. He still feels bad enough about not picking up on the fact that Duo was leaving seven years ago.

It wasn't his fault. Duo may have talked a lot all those years ago, but he didn't say much. And yes, there is a difference.

The tea Relena served didn't taste any different to normal. There was nothing _off_ about the whole situation. Unless you count the fact that I was uneasy around her, but then again, so was Quatre. It's hard to play nice with someone whom you know has harmed those you care about. Someone who threatened you and yours.

I hated her.

I couldn't remember hating anyone before. Not with the same ferocity. I had called upon all my years in infiltration… my mask of blank emotions. Everything I had laid aside in the seven years that had passed. It scared me that they came back so quickly… so easily… so _naturally_.

I doubt that Relena noticed anything different in our attitudes. But it didn't matter. The tea was drugged anyway. I didn't notice anything until I found myself falling unconscious.

I would have thought it was an attack on Relena for a moment, if it wasn't for her smug smile.

Damn it! When did I loose my touch? When did I stop being able to read her? When did _we_ stop seeing the lies behind the smiles?

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I came around and instantly took stock of my situation.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." Sally snorted from where she sat on my left-hand side. We were all there, apart from Duo.

"How long?" I asked, my tongue felt thick. Obviously they had used one of the more effective drugs on me. They always had that effect.

"Not really sure." Sally shrugged, "We don't have our watches anymore. We got dosed when we were having tea with Lady Une… You?"

"Tea at Relena's." Quatre replied, from my right-hand side.

I glanced around the room. Stone walls, floor and ceiling. Metal door with small moveable hatch at eyelevel, currently closed, just off to my right. A vid-screen attached to the wall directly in front of us. A small box sat in the centre of the room, about the size of a shoebox. Metal cuffs around mine and my friends' forearms. The same style as OZ had used. A shackle around each of our right ankles, linked together and sunk into a bracket at each end of the chain. Our order in the chain went: Heero, Wufei, Sally, me, Quatre. The box was just out of our reach.

"You woke up approximately half an hour after us." Wufei supplied, "I would assume that you were placed here later than us."

"Affirmative," Heero added, "I was just coming around when you were restrained here. Approximately fifteen minutes before Wufei and Sally recovered."

"The cuffs?" Quatre asked.

"Gundanium." Heero sighed, "As well as the shackles. The chain is not, but I cannot achieve sufficient leverage."

"We don't know what's in the box." Wufei declared, "We can't reach it."

"They must have found out." Sally sighed, "Could we have missed a trap or something? They must know that we know."

"Allah!" Quatre gasped, "Then they're going after Duo!"

"They don't know he's alive." I reminded.

"Then how would we have known?" Quatre countered, "Our actions revealed that Duo told… And he didn't do it while in hospital… They know that we would have exacted revenge a lot sooner… Heero, for one, would have gone nuts and tried to kill them already."

"They won't find him." Wufei countered.

"They probably already have." Quatre sighed, "They just won't have got to him."

"What?" Heero growled.

"One of Duo's robberies," Quatre had his eyes closed, "I recognised the name. The architect that designed my safe-room. Duo stole plans for several safe-rooms, as they were catalogued by number not customer. Mine was among them. I remember being informed that the plans had been stolen. The codes won't work, I changed them immediately afterwards, and had eliminated the override codes within a day of the final installation… But…"

"They'll know where it is." Wufei realized.

"Exactly." Quatre agreed, "They won't be able to get in, of course. I paid for the best. And then I enhanced."

"They won't need to." Heero breathed, "They've got _us_."

"He killed for us." Wufei gulped.

"He'll sacrifice himself for us." I stated.

"But then what?" Sally asked, "They can't keep us locked up forever. And if they meant to kill us, they would have done it already. Duo would eventually starve. Or they could wait him out."

"They wouldn't need to." I countered, "They only need Duo. They could buy our silence with his life."

"And they have the facilities to keep him imprisoned." Heero nodded, "Threaten Duo with our deaths if he escapes. Threaten us with Duo's death if we talk."

"Vicious cycle." Sally sighed, "Or rather a cycle of silence."

"We need to get out of here." Heero snarled, "_Before_ they get Duo to surrender."

"How?" Quatre pointed out, "They've covered every base _I_ can think of. Unless one of _you_ lot are carrying your picks?"

"Sorry," Sally was slightly embarrassed, "I forgot them today."

"Sally!" Wufei stared. I was startled, too. Sally had lock-picks? No, wait, she knows how to use them?

"What?" Sally shrugged, "Duo got me in the habit."

"I never noticed." Wufei was in shock.

"I followed Duo's advice," Sally smiled, "Normally I hide them in my hair. But… um… we got up late this morning."

"It was your fault, woman." Wufei avoided everyone else's eyes, as he blushed slightly. What had they been up to? On second thoughts I didn't want to know.

"My fault?" Sally stared at her husband, "You're the one…"

"Can you do this later?" Quatre asked. Well, more like pleaded. I had to agree. I love Wufei as my brother, but I do _not_ need to think about his love life. Nor he mine, as he pointed out six years ago.

"Any other suggestions?" Sally queried, "Heero? Are you _sure_ you can't break the chain?"

"Not unless I break ankles." Heero replied, "I just don't have the leverage for my hands to separate. So it would have to be you pulling against me…"

"Broken ankles." Wufei sighed, "_Anyone_ got lock-picks?"

"Don't carry them." I confessed, "I usually had permission to be where I was. Or I bluffed my way in."

"Don't look at me." Quatre shrugged, "Mine are in my bedside drawer. Where I left them about seven years ago. They're the ones Duo made me…"

That's all he needed to say. Quatre prizes those picks. Duo may have left us seven years ago… But the year between the Wars he had insisted on giving us birthday presents. Just _why_ Duo had decided to make Quatre some lock-picks, I will never know. It seemed to be some kind of private joke.

Quatre only got those picks out once a year. He would look at them, stroke them reverently and carry them, just for that day. That evening he would put them away with tears in his eyes. Sometimes I had hated Duo for those tears. Then other times I had praised every deity I could name for those picks. For on that one day, Quatre would truly relax and smile, for the whole day. Despite everything.

"Heero?" Wufei seemed hopeful, "You know I don't own a set."

"I only carry mine on missions." Heero pointed out.

"Hair pins?" Quatre looked optimistically at Sally.

"Don't use them." Sally was almost indignant, "Safety pins? Needles?"

There was a chorus of snorts.

"Wonderful." Quatre moaned, "Three out of the five of us can pick locks and we have no picks. I _knew_ that I should always carry a set."

There wasn't much to say after that. We were trapped in an unknown location. Unarmed. Restrained. With an unknown object out of our reach. The only way we could remove the cuffs was by picking the locks. The only way we could remove the chain was for Heero to use all his strength, during which he would break our ankles. Thus making us even more defenceless than we already were.

I will admit I tried to reach the box. But it was annoyingly just out of reach. Though I did have the best chance. I still was the tallest of us.

There was nothing else to do, but hope and pray that they wouldn't find Duo. That Duo would stay hidden.

I will not deny that a tiny part of me was convinced that Duo would come bounding through the door at any moment laughing and joking as he always had. That little part of me believed that Duo would save us.

It was stupid, I know. Duo didn't know that we were in trouble. He wouldn't be able to find us. Hell, he could just about stagger on his own. Forget running. Forget fighting. He had no weapons. One of the few things we had removed from the safe-room. Quatre may have believed that Duo would calm down and relax there, but I hadn't been sure. I hadn't wanted Duo to complete what he had intended to do.

I was starting to think that that was a mistake. He was as defenceless as we were. No, more so. We, at least, had blunt weapons attached to our arms.

The vid-screen flickered. We all stared at it as the image clarified. Lady Une and Relena appeared within frame. I recognised where they were as well. Quatre's office.

Little detail, that neither Quatre nor I had ever told the others, is that when there is someone in the safe-room, any conversation that takes place in the office, without the security system activated, is heard in the safe-room. That includes both sides of a telephone call.

"Miss Relena," Quatre spoke calmly, but I could hear the ice, "Commander Une. Why are you in my office? I do hope you didn't break in. Locks are terribly difficult to replace."

"You should know, Quatre," Relena smirked, "You organised mine to be picked, after all."

"Picked and broken are two different things," Sally countered, "I highly doubt that either of you two can pick a lock."

"Why would I need to?" Relena smiled smugly, "My mere presence opens doors."

"It's called trespassing." Wufei sounded like he was informing a child.

"But I am a Queen." Relena fired back.

"No," I spoke up, "You are a spoiled little girl, who grew up and learnt to manipulate people. You are the Foreign Minister. Not a Queen."

"The mute speaks." Relena snorted, "I didn't know you had a tongue."

"I was unaware you had a brain." I retorted. Just because I keep silent most of the time, does not mean I am dumb. I know Relena's weak spots. That girl has excessive pride.

"I out smarted you, didn't I?" Relena snarled slightly, "Seven years looking for your precious _Duo_. And you never suspected that I had anything to do with it."

"That I think has more to do with _Duo_'s skills than yours." Wufei countered.

"What do you want?" Heero growled.

"Oh-Two." Lady Une stated.

"He's dead." Sally declared, "Remember? Died in hospital."

"No," Une shook her head, "He's not. We _know_."

"He's dead." Heero whispered, his voice laden with grief, "And you killed him."

Heero immediately rose three ranks in the acting department, in my estimation. He actually managed to fake an _emotion_. Not particularly well. But still, I was impressed.

"No, he's not." Relena spat, "Although he should be. Little, dirty street-rat."

"Never call him that!" Heero snarled.

"But that's what he is." Relena smiled as she spoke.

"Why Duo?" Quatre asked the question we had all wondered, "You had an entire _army_ of OZ personnel to choose from. Trained assassins among them. So why choose Duo to be your weapon? Your tool."

"Because one was needed." Lady Une was unashamed.

"Because he was in the way." Relena looked down at her nails, as if checking the polish.

"In the way of what?" Wufei spoke slowly.

I didn't need to hear the answer. I finally had the last clues that I needed. It had taken seven years. But I _finally_ understood. Little things that I had not understood at the time fitted into the big picture. The implications were staggering. I may not have understood why the other six had done what they had done, but I now understood completely why Relena and the Lady Une were involved.

"In the way of Heero and I." Relena confirmed my thoughts, "Silly little whore! Didn't understand that Heero is _mine_! He was always meant to be. But, _noooo_! The dirty _slut_ just had to get in the way! Well, I couldn't let him take my Heero from me."

"I was _never_ yours." Heero snapped.

"But Heeroooo," Relena simpered. Wufei flinched slightly at the tone, "I love you. And you love me. You just don't realize it. But you will. In time."

"Never." Heero growled.

"Never say never." Relena smiled.

"But we did not call to discuss that." Lady Une interrupted, "How do we open the passage?"

"I do not follow." Quatre bluffed.

I knew it was pointless, they knew about the safe-room. All we could really do was lie about Duo's actual location. The question was _where_ we could safely claim we had stashed him. I was leaning towards the Winner cabin in Siberia. But then again, I do have a fondness for Russia. It disturbs Quatre. He can't stand the cold.

"The passage, Mister Winner." Lady Une sighed slightly, as if she was reprimanding a child, "To the secondary safe-room."

"Duo is dead." Sally declared, "I signed the certificate. He's gone. You can't take your anger out on him anymore."

"He never told you our names before he 'died'." Lady Une countered, "Therefore he must have spoken from beyond the grave."

They knew. How, exactly, I did not know. Nor did I care at that point. Sometimes the problem is not solved by finding out 'how' but 'what'.

"He's not there." I spoke carefully.

"Towa!" Quatre stared at me.

"What do you mean?" Relena demanded.

"You don't think we'd be foolish enough to leave Duo so close to you?" I asked, allowing just a tiny bit of smugness to ting my voice and features, "We sent him somewhere safe. Before we started to investigate you."

"Where is he?" Relena shrieked.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Heero's grateful smile. Not much of one, as he had his old mask in place, but I saw it.

The story was established. I knew the others were smart enough to pick it up and run with it. We could talk in circles for _hours_ if we wanted to. It would be days if Duo was taking part. But we could deal with what we had.

What we really needed to do was channel Duo. I don't know anyone who could annoy their enemy or their captors as quickly as he could. During the War, when I was undercover and Duo was a prisoner he was interrogated more times than the others and for longer stretches of time. Not that he said anything important, though I had worried initially. Duo just didn't seem tough enough to survive a long interrogation. But he somehow would manage to irritate even harden interrogators into an apocalyptic fury so that they would just lash out and pummel him into unconsciousness.

If we could enrage them enough, they would probably try more physical methods of coercion. Thus someone would come within our attack range. With a bit of luck they would bring a key. If they didn't… well, we could figure something out. I may be less of a spontaneous person than Duo, but I can improvise.

"Like we'd tell you." Sally laughed, "You told him to kill himself. We won't let you harm him."

"You will." Lady Une fired back, "That box in front of you…"

"Yes?" Quatre's voice was cold.

"It's a bomb." Une smirked.

"You wouldn't kill us," Wufei countered, "Or at the very least Heero would have to survive, or Relena would be upset at you."

I had to agree with Wufei. Though I knew that Colonel Une, for that was who was talking to us, not the kinder Lady Une, was definitely ruthless enough to kill us, Relena would object to losing Heero.

"I would rather he was _dead_, than corrupted by that _slut_!" Relena snipped, then her voice became much kinder, "Can't you see I'm trying to help you, Heero? We're soul-mates. We were always destined to be together. Just tell me where he is. And everything will be fine. I was protecting the world. _We_ were protecting the world."

"Hn." Heero glared. "I will kill you."

"You know you don't mean that." Relena smiled, almost benevolently, "You love me."

"Ignoring the onna's raving delusions," Wufei sighed slightly, "You set yourselves up as Judge, Jury and appointed an Executioner. There was no Justice, no Honour in what you did. Some of those you ordered murdered were innocent of every crime apart from the apparently unforgivable one of getting in your way."

"I am a Queen!" Relena declared, "No one has the right to stand in my way."

"Delusional." Sally nodded to the rest of us, "Completely and utterly ga-ga!"

I had to fight down a smirk. I heard and saw Quatre snicker. Wufei's lips snuck upwards slightly as he fought a laugh. Heero's eyes sparkled with amusement for a moment. The timing of Sally's remark had been perfect. The wording superb. Almost as if she was channelling Duo.

We caught each others eyes. That was our undoing. Quatre collapsed into laughter first. I didn't last much longer, though I held out until Sally dissolved into giggles. Heero and Wufei seemed to go simultaneously.

I don't know quite why we found the remark so funny. Could have just been the timing. Or maybe the stress on us was finally telling. I don't know. I don't even care. The looks on Relena's and Une's faces was worth it.

They were confused. They had the power to destroy us at any moment. And we were mocking them. I could see why Duo had found it fun. The facial expressions were almost as amusing as Sally's words.

"How dare you?!" Relena screeched.

It didn't help. She only made us laugh harder. Quatre and Sally were actually crying with laughter. At that point I realized that it was the stress telling on us. Not surprising really, it hadn't stopped building since Heero pulled Duo out of the air-ducts.

"Tell us where he is," Une demanded, "Or you die."

"You're talking to the wrong people here," Quatre smirked, "We've got one guy who self-destructed, one who managed to perform ritual suicide on his Gundam, one guy who sacrificed his life to save a colony, and one guy who only survived self-destruction because the Gundam opened to save him. And Sally's no slouch either. You _really_ think we're afraid of death? Death is our friend. Not our enemy."

"He might be yours," Wufei picked up on the thread, "But never ours."

Both of them were channelling Duo. Deliberately aggravating Une and Relena. If we kept it up, we could probably provoke them into sending in someone to try and harm us. We only needed one mistake. One chance.

"Yea though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death," I had chosen my phrase carefully to inflame them as much as possible, "I will fear no evil. For I know his name… And I carry chocolate."

"With which to bribe him with." Heero picked up on the joke.

"Does that work?" Sally turned to face Heero.

"Every time." Quatre snorted, "How do you _think_ we got him to sit through your medical check up at the end of the War? He _hates_ doctors. No offence."

"None taken." Sally smiled, "That would explain a lot, actually. Any particular reason why?"

"He never said." Wufei shrugged, "Though we weren't exactly talking at the time. He took, not undue, offence to the fact that I called him weaker than an onna for being scared of a doctor."

"Fei!" Quatre sighed, I noted the deliberate use of the nickname, "I'm sure he has his reasons."

We were definitely annoying Relena and Une. The one thing that both those women hate is being ignored. Not only were we ignoring them and holding our own conversation, but we were supposed to be at their mercy. There's only one problem with threatening people with their deaths; you have to be sure that they are scared of dying. And we weren't.

How could we be? Duo's life depended on our silence. For seven years he had sacrificed his soul for us. It was time that we returned the favour.

"You would _die_ for the guttersnipe?" Relena sounded appalled.

"We would do no less than he has done for us." Wufei declared, "Honour and friendship demands it of us."

"He is our brother." Quatre agreed, "'For he today that sheds his blood with me, shall be my brother'. He shed blood with us willingly. He is our brother. And I, for one, will _not_ let you take him from us again!"

"You don't exactly have a choice, Oh-Four." Une declared, "You talk or you die. Then we can go around and tear each of your houses and other properties apart until we find Oh-Two. It's not like we can actually kill him at the moment. We need him alive."

"Someone else for him to kill?" Heero spat.

"No," Une locked eyes with Heero through the screen, "You lot to keep silent. Tell us where he is and not only will you not be killed, but he will live as well. For the moment you die, his usefulness will be at an end."

A small problem then. Which was more important to us? That Duo was alive? Or that Duo was free? I had made my choice. I would die first. Duo would be able to disappear. And the Maganacs would not let harm come to him. For Quatre's sake, if nothing else.

"Die on our feet or live on our knees?" Wufei was the first of us to speak after Une's declaration, "I choose to die on my feet. I will not serve a false master again."

"You serve me." Une growled.

"I serve Justice." Wufei spoke proudly, "Until recently I believed you did too."

"I have stopped countless deaths, by my actions." Une countered.

"No," Wufei spat, "You stained a man's soul with deeds that he would have not chosen to do. If you truly believed that your actions were necessary then it should have been your hands that you dirtied. Not an innocent's…"

"Innocent?" Une laughed, "Oh-Two was no innocent."

"He was of the crimes you forced him to do," Wufei argued, "You choose who lived and who died. No Justice there. Merely a Dictator. A Tyrant. I doubt that even Trieze Khushrenada could say that you had any grace in your deeds."

Wufei had obviously picked up on the idea to annoy our captors into confronting us directly. He was picking his words with care, deliberately to inflame. He was doing well. I may have tried to stay on the Colonel's good side while I was undercover, but I knew the signs. She wasn't just mad. She was furious.

"You treated him little better than a Mobile Doll," Wufei carried on, "A tool. An emotionless weapon. An instrument of your War on _your_ enemies. Ones that could have been fought by another way. In the Light. Rather than the Shadows.

"You took a Phoenix and turned it into a creature of destruction. Although it's heart remained pure. You cannot truly corrupt a Phoenix."

"Corrupt?" Relena yelled, "There was nothing _to_ corrupt! He is a piece of trash! He was born on the streets! He is _nothing_! Less than the dirt beneath your feet!"

"He is worth more than you." Wufei smirked, "For he has risen above his past. You… You have lowered yourself and demeaned yourself by participating in these acts. What would your father say? _Either_ of them?"

"How dare you?!"

"No," Wufei fired back, "How dare you? Duo would have died for you. Would have died for peace. Would have died for the colonies. Would have died for us. He sacrificed himself for us. So that we could live free. I would rather _die_ free, than live as a slave. Even if only a slave to the Injustice you wish to perpetuate. You. Make. Me. Sick."

Nicely done by the Chinese man. The enemy was enraged. Spitting fire. Relena couldn't even get any words out. That was a feat in and of itself. I wanted to start clapping. But I didn't think it was quite appropriate. However that did not stop either my lover or Sally.

I had never seen Une or Relena turn _quite_ that colour before. It wasn't flattering. However it was _very_ amusing.

"You have ten seconds to tell me where Oh-Two is." Une declared, "Or I kill you. And when we find him, he will die in the slowest most excruciating manner I can find."

The statement almost broke Quatre's resolve. However I leant towards him so that our shoulders touched, providing him with the support he needed.

"One," Une started to count, "Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven."

"'Greater love hath no man than this'…" Wufei began to quote, ever the scholar, even in his last moments.

"Nine." Une continued.

"'That he lay down his life for his friends'." Duo's voice was choked as it broke through.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

I write stories because I can't draw. I have all these images in my head that I cannot reproduce. So I try and describe them with words. If anyone else would like to try to translate what I have written into what they think I saw in my head, they have my permission. I only ask that I be notified of it, so that I may look and go "OOoooh!".

Thank you.

Illusion-Factory – Not heard of the Shaman King myself. But I might look into it. When I've got the time. Nine to Six days are not fun. By any stretch of the imagination. I'm writing this in my lunch break and after work, once I've done my paperwork. I hate work. If only I could make writing a living.

Katerina Shinigami – I have my own special plans for teaching humility. But for now… The plot continues!

Anonymous Void – Twists? I'm trying to see how long before I manage a complete full turn. And the Government is always very difficult to beat.

Hellfire – Your 'Gundam Boys Danger' Sense is strong.

Windwraith – Wouldn't know about cream soup. But the plot is definitely thickening. When it gets to the point where it is thick enough that the spoon doesn't fall over… I've probably gone too far. Glad you liked the plotting. P.S. Have _finally_ watched the Princess Bride. Good film. I was laughing all the way through… Now how to work in some of the lines?...

Wind Dancer1981 – Glad you like.

Firehedgehog – Glad you are enjoying it.

Laesk – You're welcome. Thanks for the review.

Haruka-Hime – Thank you for the compliment. I am honoured that you hold me in such regard and I hope I maintain the standard.

Lilly – Hanging still not yet scheduled. But I am working on it. Thanks for your comments. *Talking around a mouthful of chocolate*

Toraus – Thanks. I thought the last chapter was a bit of a filler. But glad you enjoyed it. Poor Quatre, he seems to get most of my 'filler' chapters.

Leora chan – Please send fresh batteries and chocolate. Have gotten lost in Duo's mind. And I ain't Hansel and Gretaling it out of here! The G-Boys and Sally send their thanks for the luck.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – Just Deserts are on the menu. But the main course is first. And I am not allowed to skip to the tasty parts. *Sulks*.

Whitetiger1589 – Nice to know that I can make people dislike characters they usually like. The conspiring Gundam Pilots have a lot of ground to catch up on. If they want to keep Duo safe.

Once again, thank you all.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

I apologize for the delay. I have been trying to load this since midday yesterday. Stupid computers.

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Heero's POV

We had enraged them. Or I should say Wufei had. His speech was perfect. It said everything that I felt. Only in a much more poetic way. After the Rebellion, Wufei had taken up more scholarly skills. Or should that be re-taken up?

My heart caught in my throat as Duo spoke. He broke his silence, finishing Wufei's quote.

"I'm sorry." Duo apologized, "But I can't let you die. Not for me."

I could hear the pain in his voice. He didn't appear on the screen, but judging by how Quatre and Trowa were reacting, it was to be expected. It must have been something they had arranged.

"Ah," Une smirked. "Oh-Two. So you were listening. Where are you?"

"Right where you thought I was," Duo replied quietly, "At least six feet under."

"Funny, Oh-Two." Une's voice was dead-pan. "You broke your word."

"Not by choice." Duo was still quiet. Slightly subdued. Slightly remorseful?

"You don't have to do this Duo." Quatre called out, "Don't do this. Please."

"I made my choice seven years ago, Cat." Duo whispered. "I sold my soul seven years ago. No refunds. No take-backs. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you… Any of you."

"How do we get to you?" Relena demanded.

"I don't know." Duo breathed. Was he scared of her? His voice indicated that in some way he was.

That didn't make sense. Duo had insulted and fought against Une. Even when at her mercy. So why would he be scared of Relena? A pacifist. Though given her actions I should probably revise that statement.

"You don't know?" Relena scoffed.

"I was unconscious." Duo could barely be heard, "I haven't left here since I pulled a Lazarus. I'm not exactly in the best of conditions."

That was an understatement. He could barely stagger around on his own.

"Mister Winner?" Une turned to face the screen.

"You couldn't get down even if I told you how." Quatre smirked slightly, "There's only two people in the whole Sphere who can grant access to that room. Trowa and I. And we have to be present."

"You kinda shot yourself in the foot there." Sally snorted.

"Duo is confined in the safe-room." Trowa spoke carefully, "We did not adjust the locks so that he could leave the room."

"And even if they had," Wufei laughed slightly, "He's still recovering. I doubt he could even make his way to you."

"He will or you will die." Une stated, "And then he will die. I think the most painful method for him would be for me to lock him in a room with some of the men he killed second in command, and make sure that they are aware of it."

I would _not_ allow her to do that to Duo. _No-one_ was allowed to harm Duo. I would _kill_ them! All of them! Duo was _mine_! Once everything was dealt with I was going to protect him. And look after him. And care for him. And love him. And…

My thoughts were interrupted by Duo.

"I'll come." He stated.

"Good little slut." Relena smirked, "That's a good doggy."

"How _dare_ you?!" I yelled automatically, surging to my feet.

"That's all he is, Heero," Relena simpered, "He's not good enough for you. You don't love him. He just corrupted you with his unnatural thoughts. His unnatural ways. But all that will be over soon. You'll see. You love me. And I love you. We were always meant to be together. He's just a little street-rat."

"I _love_ him!" I screamed, pulling on my bindings. It was futile on my cuffs, but the shackle's chain started to give slightly. If I pulled enough…

"No you don't." Duo cut across, "You're infatuated. And I don't know why." I thought I could hear some stress in his voice, "You barely tolerated me. When did I become… some sort of golden… sacred… idol? I don't know you anymore. I don't think I know _any_ of you anymore."

"Have we truly changed that much, Duo?" Wufei asked, standing up.

"Yes." Duo whispered, "And that's a good thing." His words were hurried, "But I don't know you anymore. And you don't know me. Let me do this."

"We're not worth the price you insist on paying." Quatre countered as he rose, Trowa standing with him, "The price you've already paid was too high. The price you are trying to pay is too high as well. We do not deserve it."

"But can't you guys see?" Duo replied, "You _are_ worth it. If one miserable, little, corrupted, diseased, stained, torn soul can be used to save six bright, shiny, _innocent_ souls… I call that a bargain. And a price I have to pay. A price I am more than willing to pay."

"There is no stain on your soul that does not similarly stain ours." Wufei spoke softly, even as Sally joined us standing, "You are no less than any of us. We were comrades. We were brothers in arms. We are no different to each other."

"No," Duo seemed to gain strength from somewhere, "I am very different. You all fought for Noble reasons. For Justice. As it was the Right thing. For Duty. For Peace. I fought for Revenge. I dug two graves, Wufei. I just have not been allowed to lie down in mine. Please, let me do what I have to do."

"No," Quatre countered, "You fought so that there would be no more War Orphans. So that others would not have to suffer as you did. You fought for Noble reasons. Do not put yourself down, brother. Please. Don't do this."

"I'm a thief!" Duo argued, "I _stole_ Deathscythe! Before the start of Operation Meteor. I became a Pilot, because I snuck on board a Sweeper ship, and was found in the larder. My gang survived the Plague, Sally, because I _stole_ the cure."

"You… stole it?" Sally blinked, "But it was being given…"

"To those who had the money to pay," Duo fired back, "That's how it works on L2, Sal. Not the shiny, bright image that you have. Only I didn't steal enough. Solo _died_ because I was one short. He made me give it to another. To Pip."

"And you wouldn't sacrifice your own dose?" Relena sniffed.

"I didn't need one," Duo replied softly, "I wasn't sick. I didn't need a dose. I didn't use one. But I killed Solo. Because I couldn't count fast enough."

"You should have died on the streets with them." Relena sneered.

"Don't you dare say that!" I snarled.

"Duo," Trowa cut across my anger, "You said six souls. There's only five of us here."

I thought back over Duo's conversation. Yes, he had. Could he have made a mistake? Thought someone else was in the room? That didn't seem like him. Especially considering that he could probably _see_ both vid-screens, judging by the expressions on both Quatre's and Trowa's faces initially.

But now there was only confusion on our faces. Similarly on Une's. Although Relena appeared to be dismissive.

"What do you expect?" Relena laughed, "It's not like a whore needs to count!"

"No, Tro," Duo seemed to ignore Relena's statement, "You're counting wrong. Isn't that right, Sally?"

"How did you…?" Sally breathed. I wasn't the only one confused. Although Trowa had slightly wide eyes and was staring at our doctor.

"I wasn't always asleep, Sal." Duo replied, his voice sort of shrugging, "I listened. Whatever the hell you do, do _not_ name it after me."

The statement didn't make any sense to me. Or Wufei by his puzzlement. I wondered why Duo was so determined to carry on travelling down this tangent, rather than protecting himself. Was he trying to delay? Buy us some time to escape?

"Sally's pregnant?" Quatre blurted out. Shock written across his face.

Well, that revelation caused Wufei to faint. I was staggered. But I pushed that away. Right then _Duo_ was more important.

"You can't do this, Duo." I stated.

"I have to." Duo sighed, "You just don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?" Trowa pressed.

"I've lost three families," Duo murmured, "Once before I remembered them. Once to the Plague. Once to the Massacre. I will not loose a fourth. Please, let me do what I have to do."

"Duo," Quatre tried again, "Please understand, if you do this we will probably not see you again. We don't want to lose you."

"You shame us, Maxwell," Wufei had recovered and was clambering to his feet, "Your love for us is no greater than our love for you. We do not wish to lose you."

"Sometimes you don't get a choice Fei," Duo's voice seemed to smile, "I made my choice seven years ago. You know I don't lie. I would do _anything_ to keep all of you safe. My soul? Not a high price. Always knew I was going to hell, anyway. I'm a demon, after all."

"Don't you say that!" I snapped, "You are one of the kindest people I know. I could never love a demon. And I. Love. You."

"But that's what they called me," Duo countered, "I am the God of Death. Anyone I care for seems to die. If I can do something to stop that I will. No matter what the price."

"You can't." I protested, "I love you."

"You seem to be stuck on that," Duo chuckled slightly sardonically, "When did it happen? I left. You hated my guts then. We would only really work well together on missions. You never talked to me, unless you had to. You never _did_ or _said_ _anything_ that would imply that you cared for me in anything other than a valuable resource! As something to use and dispose of as necessary. I'll never know why you chose to rescue me from Barge, rather than kill me. Guess you made up for it during the Rebellion."

"I love you." I repeated.

"You punched me and left me!" Duo shouted, "Is that your love? Use me and lose me? You don't understand what love _is_!"

"And you do?" I countered.

"No," Duo fired back quietly, "I understand some types of love. Love for a friend. Love for a comrade in arms. Love for a brother. Love for a mother. Love for a father. I understand love for a child. But no… Love for a lover… I don't understand at all."

"Then let me teach you." I whispered.

"How can you?" Duo breathed, "You don't understand either."

"As touching as this is," Une interrupted, "Oh-Two, you will come here at once!"

"He's injured!" Quatre was the first to protest.

"He can barely walk!" Sally agreed.

"Leave him alone!" I snarled.

"You have no Honour." Wufei growled.

Trowa stayed silent. I think he knew what would happen. He knew this 'new Duo' better than any of us. Understood him in some small way.

"It will take me some time," Duo declared, "The locks aren't the easiest."

"You will come here!" Relena demanded.

"And you will tell the Maganacs where the others are?" Duo seemed to plead.

"If you do as you are told!" Relena snapped, "And come here!"

"I have no intention of disobeying that order, Foreign Minister." Duo sounded defeated, "I'm sorry, guys. But you must understand… I won't let anyone harm you. Please understand, I have to do what I have to do. And I will do _anything_ to keep you safe."

"No, Duo!" I yelled.

My protest was echoed by Quatre, Sally and Wufei. Trowa seemed to have resigned himself to the inevitable.

"Remember Fei," Duo's voice quavered slightly, "Don't you _dare_ name the baby after me. And it's been an Honour, Chang Wufei. Sally, I wish you well. Cat?"

"Yes Duo?" Quatre was starting to cry. He knew, as well as I did, that Duo was doing a last goodbye.

"Don't cry," Duo's voice smiled, "Thank you. For being my brother and my friend. And probably the kindest person I know, alive.

"Trowa… Don't blame yourself. You did all you could. Just the cards were stacked against you. Thank you for giving me hope.

"Heero… I'm sorry. You just don't understand. You always were a noble knight. A Paladin. I shouldn't have yelled at you. You did what was necessary. So did I.

"All of you take care of yourselves." Duo instructed. I could almost _hear_ the tears in his eyes. "I have to do, what I have to do. I won't let anyone harm you."

"Duo, don't you do this." Quatre protested, "Don't you do this to us. Please, Duo."

He continued to plead. I wasn't bothering with mere words anymore. I was putting all my strength into trying to pull free of the chain. But despite the earlier promise, it was remaining fast.

"Colonel Une," Duo ignored Quatre, "If you could cut the connection? I would be very grateful. I am on my way."

The vid-screen fell dark.

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I don't know exactly what happened next. I remember flashes of things through my rage. I remember Trowa pulling Quatre into a strange version of a hug. I remember Sally sinking to the floor. I remember Wufei placing one hand on her stomach. I remember hearing choking sobs. But I could never tell you who from. I don't even know what order the events occurred in.

I only really came back to my senses when I heard a distinct 'snap'. It appears that adrenaline can enhance my strength to degrees that even I didn't know. I had managed to break the link grounding my foot to the floor.

Conversations seemed to flood back.

"Is it true?" Wufei breathed.

"Three months along." Sally smiled wanly. "I wasn't sure how to break it to you. What with everything else going on."

"But… how?"

"I should hope by now that I don't have to explain the birds and the bees to you." Sally teased.

"It's going to be okay, little one."

"He gave himself up… for us!"

"I know. I know. But I don't think they kill him. Not yet." Trowa kissed Quatre gently on the forehead. And I envied them. They were together. They were in love.

Duo didn't love me? That shock was hard to bear. But then again… he had said that he didn't _understand_ it. I would have to prove to him that he did. Just that he didn't know that he did.

"You broke the link?" Wufei noticed that I was moving. As well as the only one currently standing.

"Just," I panted slightly, "Knife?"

"Strapped to my back." Quatre declared. I wasn't the only one to look at him in surprise, "What? I've been getting paranoid. Not that it was much help…"

"It might be now." Sally countered.

"Here." Trowa removed the weapon and passed it to me. I passed it to Wufei.

"You sure?" He asked.

"Better skills." I pointed out bluntly.

Wufei bent to the task willingly, once he had manoeuvred so that he could reach the bomb.

"This is barely worth my time." Wufei spat as he looked at it, "They should be ashamed of producing this."

"That bad?" Sally queried.

"It's a dud?" Quatre pressed.

"Oh, it'd go off." Wufei shrugged, "But it's not even booby-trapped. During the War, we'd laugh at this."

"Just disarm it already." Sally instructed.

"Done." Wufei snorted.

"Pass it here." Quatre ordered, "I might be able to salvage some wires for picks."

Quatre was as good as his word. He chose to pick the cuffs on Sally, as he was unable to reach his own lock without resorting to using his mouth to hold the picks. Something that I have seen Duo do. And been amazed and amused by. As well as _other_ feelings.

Sally quickly freed Wufei, while Quatre managed to free Trowa and me, being that much faster.

Once freed, I was able to break the chain linking each of us. So we were merely shackled, the lock on the shackles being too small for our crude picks.

Next problem was the door. There was no lock on our side. Picking it was out of the question. Wufei carefully and as discretely as possible rapped his knuckles around the entire door near the frame.

"There, there and there." He pointed to three points on the right hand side of the door about the same distance from each other.

"Stand back." I stated.

I launched three quick kicks at the indicated spots. The plan was that I would hit and take out the hinges. However it seemed that they were stronger than expected and the door didn't give.

It wasn't the first time a door hadn't given to my kicks in my life. Wufei and I traded out, so that he could repeat the action. Trowa also joined in. The three of us continued to pound the door in an attempt to break the hinges.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

I write stories because I can't draw. I have all these images in my head that I cannot reproduce. So I try and describe them with words. If anyone else would like to try to translate what I have written into what they think I saw in my head, they have my permission. I only ask that I be notified of it, so that I may look and go "OOoooh!".

Thank you.

I am dedicating this chapter to Leora Chan, who provided me with my two hundredth review. I never even dreamed I would get that many reviews for this story.

Anonymous Void – Not quite what you wanted. But… Well, you said to never change for my reviewers. And this was already written.

Windwraith – Good guessing. But not quite right. Thanks for the review.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – This soon enough? Thanks for the comments.

Wind Dancer1981 – Glad you're enjoying it.

Katerina Shinigami – Where _did_ you light the bonfire in the end? Sorry, closet pyromaniac. And yes… Relena's not quite sane.

Raelyn-Mage – Thanks for the compliments. Glad you think I write Tro and Fei well. Thanks a lot for the sweeties too! *Currently on a sugar high*

Chibi Rose Angel – General points for you. One, that was not a Flame. I could barely light a candle with it. Two, I'm not done yet. Some of your main flaws in my story, are subject to a person's view point. Three, I _will_, however, be taking some of your remarks to heart. Four, I may contact you via review reply to answer your review in more detail in the future. Depends on how snowed under I get with work. Overall, thank you for your comments. While I may not think that all of them are justified, I do see where you are coming from.

Red Jeanie – Why thank you. *Takes a bow* I'm glad you are enjoying it.

Illusion-Factory – Sorry to not fulfil your hopes. But I hope you liked this direction instead.

Hellfire – Don't worry, I have trebuchets. *Grins manically* I hope your pudding sense is good. Sweet things make my thoughts run more smoothly.

Pattyard – Thanks for the compliments.

Whitetiger1589 – Hope you're still alive. And yes, the boys _should_ have talked to Duo. Also, isn't channelling Duo such _fun_?

Firehedgehog – Not yet. Sorry.

Anonymous 25 – I don't quite understand what you mean. But there should be a fuller explanation in about four chapters or so.

Leora Chan – Thanks for the supplies. I swear there's something down here that _eats_ batteries! Glad you enjoyed the chapter and I hope you didn't freak out your brother _too_ much. *Stares longingly at the chocolate you're holding*

Fullmetalcross – I made you cry? Wow. *Blinks* Thanks for the compliments. And I hope I continue to please.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Quatre's POV

Loss. Grief. Anguish. Pain. Anger. Sorrow. Joy. Rage. Amazement. Self-loathing. Anticipation. Sorrow. Rage. Love. Rage. Possessiveness. Rage. Rage. Rage. Rage.

I tore myself free from the flood of emotions swallowing me up. Finding shelter in Trowa's arms, when, after ten minutes of pounding the door, he sunk to the floor in exhaustion.

I swear those hinges must have been made of Gundanium. They just couldn't break them.

"We're not getting out on our own, are we?" I murmured.

"No." Trowa was blunt.

"What did we do?" I whispered, "What did we do to earn Duo's loyalty? I can't remember."

"I don't think we did anything." Trowa replied, "He just gave it."

"They can't kill him." I muttered, "Not yet. And I can find him. We can save him."

"Are you sure?" Sally had overheard, Wufei sitting next to her. Heero was the only one currently pounding the door.

"Unless they use a jammer," I nodded, "But that's unlikely. Even _Duo_ doesn't know he's bugged."

"I'm going to be a father." Wufei was still slightly in shock. Not that I actually blamed him. I had heard of worse reactions. Twenty nine sisters. Sixteen nieces and nephews. I had heard of every reaction going. Including the poor guy who fainted, recovered, remembered why he had fainted and fainted again. He would never live it down.

If we all survived and got Duo back, I doubted that Wufei would either. Duo wouldn't let him.

"If it's a girl," Wufei's voice was stronger now, "We're calling her Helen."

"Helen?" Sally frowned.

"The name of the nun that for one year tried to raise our braided _idiot_." Wufei smiled slightly. "And she will learn of the orphanage from her Uncle Duo."

"You're not giving up?" Sally asked.

"We will find Duo," Wufei declared, "We will rescue Duo. And then, I am going to pound into his pea-sized brain the exact magnitude of the mistakes he has made. Then, I am going to hug him. And thank him. And call him my brother."

"Sounds like a plan." I nodded. "I'm in."

I could feel the guilt and determination rolling of Wufei, mixed with the slightly heady feeling of joy and wonder. I lost myself in it for a few moments. It was far preferable to Heero's rage and possessiveness.

Although at the rate Heero was going at the door he was either going to break an ankle or collapse, due to sheer exhaustion. I was betting on the ankle. His rage wouldn't let him collapse.

I was slightly worried. Some of the emotions pouring of Heero weren't healthy. Quite frankly, I needed to sit him and Duo down in the same room and get them to talk everything over. At the moment from what I could sense from Heero, he was in a slightly strange Zero Episode. Obsessed not with revenge, but with protecting and possessing one item… or I should say person. But Zero didn't see it that way. And was starting to influence Heero to think of Duo as more of an object to be owned than a person. And that was dangerous.

What made it worse was that I didn't quite know how _Duo_ would react to that.

"He's coming home." I stated, "The odds may be against us… But we're the Pilots."

"We may be down," Sally grinned, "But we're not out yet."

"We can find Duo." I smirked, "We can still win. We're used to the odds being against us."

"What was it Duo said?" Trowa leant back against the wall, "'We've gotten quite used to these losing battles'?"

"Sounds about right." I agreed, "Our whole lives we've been fighting loosing battles. You know the funny thing?"

"We keep on winning." Wufei laughed.

"He's going to break his ankle." Sally pointed out.

"You want to try stopping him?" I asked. "Look, we all know I blame myself for pretty much _everything_, but right now, Heero's doing it worse. And I can't really see the fault in his logic."

"You mean it _is_ his fault?" Wufei stared at me, "Heero wouldn't do that, Winner."

"Not directly his fault," I sighed, "Look at it this way. Relena loves Heero. Relena thought that Duo loved Heero. Relena believed that Duo was taking Heero's attention away from her. How true that is… I don't know. I do know that Heero did love Duo back before this all went to Hell. Relena saw the best way to get Heero to admit he loved her was to get rid of Duo. I don't know why she hit on this scheme. But you have to admit. It worked to a certain degree."

"What do you mean?" Sally frowned, "Heero only became more obsessed about Duo."

"Yes," Wufei nodded, "But Duo stayed away. Giving her the chance she wanted."

"Only it wasn't Duo who was in love with Heero." Trowa smiled slightly, "It was Heero who was in love with Duo."

"Exactly," I smiled, "She got it the wrong way round. Not I'm not saying that Duo doesn't _care_ for Heero. He does."

"But as he said," Wufei agreed, "He doesn't understand love. At least not that type."

"But _everyone_ understands love!" Sally declared.

"No," Trowa shook his head, "We understand what we know. And Duo has never really seen two people he knows well in love with each other. Apart from Quatre and I."

"He could be in love," Wufei breathed, "And not know it. Quatre?"

"I daren't!" I fired back. "I told you. He's all twisted up inside. He's getting better, but… it's slow. And there's very little I can do to help. Apart from care for him and wait. We can't do anything else."

"Okay," Sally shrugged, "Bets on how long Heero's going to last?"

I laughed. I couldn't stop. It was slightly hysterical laughter. But I didn't care. Trowa was also laughing alongside me, and the pair of us dragged Wufei and Sally with us.

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It was about an hour and a half after the connection had been cut, when the door opened. From the outside. The moment I saw who was standing there, I started to breath easier.

"Master Quatre?" Rashid called. The Maganac Corps had arrived.

"We're okay." I replied, "Thank you."

"Commander Une and Miss Darlian took Duo." Rashid looked ashamed, "I am sorry, Master Quatre. He would not let us stop them. He said you were in danger. That you were more important."

"I know." I sighed, "But we're getting him back. Thank you for trying, my friend."

"Master Quatre?" Abdul asked as we left the cell, "I thought Duo was dead."

"A necessary deception," I shrugged, "Now no longer necessary. Duo was being blackmailed. Paying for our lives with his servitude. His last order was to commit suicide. I found out."

"And you couldn't let him do that!" Ahmad seemed pleased.

"Who did it, Master Quatre?" Auda pressed, "We can't let them do that. We can't let them harm you."

"Relena Darlin," Trowa started to list, "Commander Une, Claudia Mann, Karla Stone, Quinton Nielsen, Hung Tanner, Mizuno Toshino and Bahadur Isa."

"It is also possible that Dorothy Catalonia is involved," Wufei supplied, "But as of yet there is no proof."

Out of the corner of my eye I could see that all the Maganacs were giving Heero a wide berth. Not that I blamed them. Rage was pouring off him to such an extent that even non-sensitives would be able to feel it. I was having a hard enough time blocking him out. And I was _used_ to this.

What was making it worse was the fact that he recognised where we had been held. So did I. The Peacecraft family hunting lodge. In the mountains of Sanq. Relena had invited us here once one Christmas. She'd hated it. Too primitive for her tastes. He'd even borrowed it a time or two when he needed a break. Not that he'd told Relena. That was just asking for trouble. Primitive or not, she'd would have turned up to be with him.

"So what do we do now, Master Quatre?" Rashid laid a hand on my shoulder.

"I need a laptop." I stated, "Weapons, transport and a couple of good men to watch my back. If you wouldn't mind?"

"You have forty, Master Quatre." Rashid declared, his statement supported by the other Maganacs.

"Always, Master Quatre!"

"We'll follow you, Master Quatre!"

"We won't let you get hurt, Master Quatre."

"Thank you, my friends." I smiled.

"Why did you not tell us earlier, Master Quatre?" Abdul queried, "Did you not trust us?"

"It is not that I don't trust you, Abdul," I sighed, "It is that Duo barely told us. If I had revealed his continued existence to too many people, then there was a risk that word would get back to the conspiracy. Not from you. But you might have been overheard. However as they already know that _we_ know of their existence, I see no point in hiding."

"Especially when it may be to the detriment of Duo's existence." Trowa finished for me. Sometimes he can read my mind.

"I am afraid that transport for us," Rashid informed me, "Might be difficult to find. I do not think we have enough fast vehicles to transport all of us, at least not into space, nor on short notice."

That put a hole in my plans. I could find Duo easily enough. But most of my plans centred on us moving fast enough that we could hit them, while they were still trying to shore up their defences. It was really the only option. Once they shored up their defences they would start watching us, waiting for our attack. They would have the advantage.

The only other option would be to wait until they relaxed. And Heero wouldn't go for that one.

"Master Quatre?" Rashid looked at me, as if slightly nervous.

"Yes, Rashid?" I frowned.

"Duo said something," Rashid was hesitant, "I don't know what it means, but it might be important."

"What is it?" Wufei asked.

"He called us the Palace Guards," Rashid stated, "And told us to tend to the Prince. He said that Aladdin would look after Aladdin."

"That makes no sense." Sally was confused.

"No," I shook my head, "It makes perfect sense. Duo and I once watched an old film about Aladdin. It didn't stay true to the traditional story, but I much preferred it. Duo had recently called me Ali-Baba. And so I named him Aladdin. For he was a 'Diamond in the Rough'. It was our little joke."

My phone rang. I was surprised it was still in my pocket. I thought they would have removed it. So I hadn't looked for it.

"Quatre Winner," I answered the phone, instinct more than anything, "How can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Little Boy Blue," Howard's voice came through the speaker, "I was informed by Peter Pan that he was part of a troupe of Lost Boys."

Now that I understood. It was an old code. Duo's code. During the War. Basically translated, it meant that some of the Pilots were in trouble and Duo had sent Howard after us. I was the main contact. Though I didn't know _how_ Howard knew to contact to me. How did Duo contact Howard? When? Why?

"Little Boy Blue here," I replied, immediately catching the attention of the other Pilots, "What was the full message?"

"Peter Pan informed me that there were four Lost Boys plus Wendy, who needed the Indian Chief to come and pull their hides outta the fire." Howard slurred slightly, "He also said that the Lost Boys would need transport. But I was to pick up Wendy's sister and Wendy's sister's best friend first."

That didn't make much sense to me. Wendy had to be Sally. It stuck with Duo's Peter Pan theme. But Wendy's sister? And her best friend? I hoped that Duo knew what he was doing.

"He also asked me to pass a message onto Little Boy Blue for him." Howard finished.

"What's the message?" I asked, hoping that it would clear all this mess up.

"I don't follow it myself," I could _hear_ Howard's shrug, "But he said: 'Stop. Thief. Vandal. Outrage.'."

"Thanks, Chief." I had slipped into my mission-mind-set. "What's your ETA?"

"Now we gotta fix on ya?" Howard smirked, "Make your way to the nearest Space-Port, Little Boy Blue. There'll be a shuttle a-waiting ya."

"Little Boy Blue over and out." I hung up.

"Howard?" Trowa asked.

"Yes," I nodded, "Duo called him. He's on his way. He wants us to meet at the port."

"Why would Duo call him?" Wufei frowned, "That doesn't make any sense. He surrendered."

"I know," I agreed, "He also left a message."

"What did he say?" Heero demanded to know.

"'Stop. Thief. Vandal. Outrage.'" I repeated, "Does anyone understand it?"

"Who was it for?" Sally pressed, "That might help."

"That's just it," I stated, "It was for me. And I don't understand it."

"Think!" Heero growled.

"I _am_!" I fired back, "I'm as worried about Duo as you are Heero. But you need to take a break! Getting angry at everyone else won't help! Sure, Relena took her anger at you not loving her out on Duo. That's not fair. It wasn't fair on Duo. But that does _not_ give you the right to take it out on us!

"Yes, you're angry that Duo doesn't believe that you love him. But you never told him back then. What was he supposed to think? You barely said _anything_ to him. You can't claim it was all to do with your training. You have emotions. You have a mouth. You just didn't _use_ them.

"What is it you always say 'Follow your emotions'? Well blame yourself. You didn't follow your emotions. And you _lost_ Duo!

"He at least was honest about what he felt. He doesn't think he is in love with you. Why? Because he doesn't know what it is like. He doesn't understand! And he doesn't think you do either. Because he's rarely seen you show an emotion.

"Now I don't know why he claims you hit him. I don't know the circumstances behind it. And I don't _care_! It obviously hurt him. Not just on a physical level. Right now Duo doesn't need your _crap_!

"He needs to heal. Once he's gotten himself emotionally sorted out… _Then_ you can try and establish a relationship. Romantic or otherwise.

"But I am telling you right here, right now, Yuy. Duo is coming home to _my_ house. He is staying there until _he_ chooses to leave. And while he is under my roof, you will not pursue a romantic relationship until _I_ deem him able to cope. Duo has a _lot_ of healing to do.

"And your current attitude towards him would be at the best slightly detrimental. Maybe worse. So you are going to snap _out_ of it!

"Duo is his own person. Not Relena's scapegoat. Not Une's pet assassin. Not your lover. He is Duo. He belongs to himself. Not _you_!

"So pull yourself together, Yuy! You _aren't_ helping! And if you continue like this… I will do everything in my power to organise a Restraining Order against you for Duo!"

It appeared that Heero's rage was slightly infectious. But everything I said was the truth, and needed to be said. Although, judging by my friends' faces they hadn't quite expected me to yell them at Heero. I hoped it would snap him out of Zero and back into the real world. I didn't know if it would. We'd never had to deal with a Zero Heero before.

"Moving on!" Sally chirped, her brightness false, but necessary.

"So the message was 'Stop thief. Vandal. Outrage.'?" Wufei tried to redirect the conversation.

"'Scandal'!" I yelped, my memory supplying the next word automatically.

It wasn't the words that triggered my memory. More the beat. The cadence. The way he got the words to flow.

"You know what it means?" Wufei stared.

"Give me a moment." I frowned, "Its a few lines from a song… From the film."

"Which film?" Trowa asked.

"The Aladdin film," I grinned, "Duo loved that song. Allah, he loved the film! The main character, Aladdin, is a street-rat, who by determination and a lot of luck changes his lot in life. He had a line that Duo loved… just before this song. 'You're only in trouble if you get caught'."

"Sounds like Duo." Sally snorted.

"That's what I thought," I laughed, "Anyway the song… It's called 'One Jump Ahead'… What was Duo's favourite part?... Where do the words fit?"

I thought hard. I knew the answer. I just needed to think. I closed my eyes, as I started to run through the lyrics. When I got to the right part, I think I started to mouth. Finally I had my answer. I recited the last few lines of the song.

"'One jump ahead of the hoofbeats. One hop ahead of the hump. One trick ahead of disaster. They're quick, but I'm much faster. Here goes! Better throw my hand in. Wish me happy landin'. All I gotta do is jump!'"

As I finished a grin spread across my face. Duo had been smart. A message only I could understand. A code only I knew. The other codes we had used in the War we had handed over. This was more personal; more of a secret series of nicknames and private jokes. And I could translate it. Despite never having heard this code before.

In some ways I was the only one Duo could send this sort of code to. He had never been close to Wufei. Never spent time with Trowa when the pressure wasn't on. Heero hadn't looked into such trivial pursuits as watching a film with a friend. And he would have definitely frowned upon the popcorn fights that Duo and I had indulged in. Acting as teenagers for a short while. Some of the best memories I have of Duo, are of when he spent that time with me in the Maganac's Village. We had played, like children. And I had loved it.

"Well?" Wufei's voice ripped me from my memories, "What does it mean? What did Duo want us to know?"

I smiled broadly as I spoke.

"Duo's going to fight. He's not surrendered. He's going to _fight_!"

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

I write stories because I can't draw. I have all these images in my head that I cannot reproduce. So I try and describe them with words. If anyone else would like to try to translate what I have written into what they think I saw in my head, they have my permission. I only ask that I be notified of it, so that I may look and go "OOoooh!".

Thank you.

If I fail to answer your review, I apologize. My internet connection is _really_ messed up. I can only read nine of the twelve reviews for this chapter I have received on . While the reviews did arrive in my e-mail box (where they were received with delight), I deleted them to make space… And cannot guarantee that I found them.

Illusion-Factory – I would apologize for the suspense. But I hate lying. So I'll only say that I hope you're still alive.

Firehedgehog – Yep! Baby Feis. They're going to be brats.

Hellfire – I got both your reviews. And I at this moment I'm not looking to colaberate with anyone. I have a hard enough time dealing with stories on my own. But thank you for your offer. And thanks for the ice cream cake.

Anonymous Void – I needed Duo to purge some of his feelings. Guy has been holding onto them for a long time. Glad you liked the rant.

Katerina Shinigami – *hands you a manicure kit* Sorry! Didn't mean to ruin your nails. And boo-hiss about the failed bonfire. Last time I had a bonfire, I danced around it with my then boyfriend.

Whitetiger1589 – Yeah, I can see where that line you pointed out could be confussing, but I can't see how to correct it. Never mind. It may come to me at some point. Glad you're still alive. Hope your holiday goes well.

Raelyn-Mage – *Still on sugar high* Glad you enjoyed the chapter!

Wind Dancer1981 – Thanks for the review.

Laesk – Glad you think so.

SisterFreaks – Thanks for the compliment, and I have no intention of stopping.

Toraus – Adrenaline can do amazing things. Glad you liked the chapter.

Leora Chan – Care packages much appreciated. I'm still lost in Duo's mind. And I don't have enough light to reach the edges. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. *Looks up at you with a mouthful of cake*. Cake is very tasty!


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Trowa's POV

My blonde lover couldn't have dropped a larger bombshell if he'd tried. After _everything_ Duo had suddenly decided to fight? Why? And had he lied to Relena and Une? That wasn't Duo.

Though I thought through what Duo had said. He had said he would 'do what was necessary', just never specified. That sounded like Duo. Always deceiving. Yet never lying.

But why? Why now? Why would he fight? What had changed? What was different? What was the catalyst?

A thousand and one different variations on a theme ran through my head as I tried to figure Duo out. I was as successful as I had been: in the hospital; on L2; during those long years; during the Rebellion; during the Year of Peace; during the War. Which is to say, not at all.

Duo always a tough one to figure out. I think Quatre understands him best. But Heero is the one who loves him the most. At least in a quasi-romantic way. He is also slightly obsessive about Duo, as we were seeing. Though I thought there was a chance that he would calm down on that front. Especially since Quatre seemed to have yelled Zero out of him.

"Why?" Wufei breathed, asking the question I wanted to know. "And how do you know?"

"'One Jump Ahead'," Quatre smirked, "He's one jump ahead. He's got a plan. I don't know what it is. But he has a plan. Therefore he's fighting. That's all I know. I'd love to know _why_ he has chosen to fight _now_. But I don't know."

"Then we need to back him up." I stated. "Back his play."

"Would be far easier," Quatre sighed, "If we knew what he was planning."

"Whatever it is," Wufei smiled, "It's going to be unpredictable."

"I'm more worried about who Howard's bringing with him." Quatre stated.

"What do you mean?" Sally asked.

"Well, Duo said that there were four Lost Boys and Wendy needing his help," Quatre explained, "But that Howard was to pick up Wendy's sister and best friend first."

"I don't have a sister." Sally pointed out.

"I know," Quatre shrugged, "So I assume it's a close female friend…"

"He wouldn't." I breathed, even as Quatre tailed off.

"Noin?" Wufei arrived at the same conclusion.

"That would make the best friend…" Sally couldn't finish. The same shock, horror, despair and worry affecting her as well.

"Zechs." Heero managed to say. His voice sounded as if the world was crashing down around his ears. Which I suppose it was.

The same thought was running through five heads: 'Why would Duo do that? Surely he knew that Zechs would try and protect Relena? Didn't he?'

I couldn't work out if Duo was trying to get us allies or enemies. Everything had been turned on its head. We all knew that Zechs would side with Relena. He was her big brother. We couldn't expect anything less. Yet Duo had instructed that he be brought? I wondered if Duo had finally lost it.

It was a tense time while we made our way to the nearest Space-port. Or rather _I _waited. The Maganacs discussed the new information. Wufei meditated. Sally checked the medical kit of the Maganacs. And Heero ranted about Duo's complete lack of self-preservation.

Quatre was really the only one actually doing anything to help. He'd managed to borrow a laptop off one of the Maganacs. Don't ask me which one. It happened so quickly I never even saw them. He had accessed the 'Child Location Database'. Technically you need to be in law enforcement to access the system. But as it was a Winner Industries invention, Quatre had a backdoor. He does to all his systems. For him, it was easy just to slip into the system and disable the alerts that should automatically go out when a braid code number is entered.

"Got him." Quatre smiled.

"Where?" Heero demanded, coming out of his rant.

"Not sure yet." Quatre frowned.

"What do you mean?" Wufei was confused.

"They're en-route." Quatre announced, "Although they are in orbit."

"They move fast." Sally blinked.

"All we can do is follow." I stated, "And hope we can keep pace."

"We won't be left behind." Wufei announced, "They can't move fast enough. What was it Howard once said? 'There's no faster ship than a Sweeper with a place to go and people to see'."

"Well, we might not have an exact place to go." Sally grinned, "But we've definitely got people to see."

"And Justice to fulfil." Wufei agreed.

It took us a long half hour to arrive at the Space-port. We recognised our ride immediately. The Sweepers have a distinctive style of painting on their shuttles. I have never understood why. They aren't the only people who paint their shuttles, but they don't use the usual. There's always a cartoon character on the nose. Duo knows, but he never said. Apart from to say it was a Sweeper Secret; capital letters intentional.

There was a Sweeper I didn't recognise waiting for us. By the looks on the others' faces, they didn't know her either.

"Permission to board?" Sally chirped.

"One question first," the Sweeper countered, "Howard told me to check… What is Little Boy Blue waiting for?"

As one we turned to face Quatre.

"I have no clue!" Quatre declared, "But it's got to follow Duo's current pattern. Something to do with old children's rhymes and stories."

"But Little Boy Blue wasn't waiting for anything." Sally frowned, "I know that rhyme. He was asleep."

"Maybe not that Little Boy Blue," Wufei was thinking, "But maybe _ours_ is."

"But what?" Quatre asked, "I have no clue."

"It's got to be in a rhyme." I thought out loud. We had to find the answer quickly, before Heero lost his temper and attacked the Sweeper. I could understand Howard's caution. This was way out of his league. He could get into serious trouble. Even if he didn't know all the details, Duo would have told him enough.

Duo. Everything came back to Duo. Little Boy Blue for Quatre. My mind wandered, trying to find the answer we were looking for.

A snatch of a phrase came into my head. I recalled Duo singing it. He had a surprisingly good voice for someone who usually shouted along to loud music. It had been a little rhyme. Like 'Little Boy Blue'. He'd sung it around me, on and off, for a week.

"Bobby Shafto." I spoke aloud, "Little Boy Blue is waiting for Bobby Shafto."

"Welcome aboard." The Sweeper stepped aside so that we could get in and strap ourselves down.

"What was that all about?" Wufei looked at me.

"Duo sang a child's rhyme around me," I shrugged, "Just before the end of the War. 'Bobby Shafto's gone to sea; Silver buckles on his knee; He'll come home and marry me; Bonny Bobby Shafto'. He said that silver buckles on knees sounded like the outfit for a circus performer. It fitted the question."

"It would appeal to Duo." Quatre agreed, "He never seemed to grow up."

"Until he did." Wufei agreed, "And he shouldn't of. And I kept on telling him to do so. He didn't need to. I missed it. He made us children."

"And you needed to be." Sally nodded, "I kept on waiting for you to burn out. But you never did. And as far as I can tell, it was your comradeship that kept you sane."

"No." Heero shook his head. I was just glad he was speaking, if we could finish calming him down, we stood a better chance. Heero could do silly things when he ran off half-cocked. He can do silly things when he thinks everything through. He doesn't quite think the same way as everyone else.

"It was Duo." Heero finished his statement. "He kept us sane. He kept us human. He guarded our childhood. Even when we didn't know what one was."

We fell silent after that. Sometimes there is nothing more to be said. Duo could have filled the silence, but despite having learnt by necessity for seven years, I couldn't always fill the silences. I just didn't know how. I tried, but my words died on my lips. I think Quatre's did as well, the number of times he opened his mouth as if to speak, but then shut it before a sound left his lips, beyond a small sigh.

As would be expected it took us about an hour and a quarter to reach Howard's main ship. The rebuilt PeaceMillion.

"Welcome aboard, boys." Howard grinned, "I think you have a tale or two to tell me. I thought we burnt the Kid."

"Chang! Yuy! Po!" Zechs was barely a heart-beat behind Howard, "Just what is the meaning of this?" Sally had kept using her maiden name in the workplace; she claimed it made things easier.

"We were kidnapped!" Noin agreed.

I'll admit the stress was too much. We couldn't hold the laughter in. It caused the same reaction in Zechs' and Noin's faces as it had caused in Relena's and Une's. Quatre latched onto my shoulder as he cried tears of laughter, pain, stress and anger into it, soaking my top. I held him as best I could, hoping that my legs would not give way beneath me. Wufei and Sally were similarly holding themselves up.

Heero didn't laugh. But then again I hadn't been expecting him to. I doubted he would laugh until we had recovered Duo safely. However he didn't answer Zechs or Noin.

It took us about five minutes for the hilarity of the situation to pass. We were going to rescue an abducted Duo with an abducted Zechs and Noin.

"You're sure he meant these two?" Quatre inquired of Howard.

"I checked," Howard nodded, "When asked for the identity of Wendy's sister and friend, he told me to find 'Georgie Porgie' and 'Kitty Fisher'."

"Are you nuts, old man?" Zechs yelled.

"The kid also sent me these," Howard held up two recordings, "And said that Jack Sprat and Foster were to explain things. Yankee Doodle can join in, if he's started to make sense."

"What?" Noin shouted.

"Calm down," Quatre breathed, "This wasn't our idea. But our hand has been forced."

"By who?" Zechs demanded.

"Peter Pan." Quatre answered whimsically.

"Have you gone insane?" Noin stared.

"Not yet," Quatre grinned unrepentantly, "'Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie; Kissed the girls and made them cry'. Though I don't know where 'Kitty Fisher' comes from, but it'll be a children's rhyme."

"We need to rescue," Wufei joined in, "Our boy who never grew up. Our eternal Lost Boy. Our Peter Pan."

"Duo." Heero was blunt.

"He's dead and gone." Zechs frowned.

"Not yet." I smiled, "Not yet. It was a ruse." I had claimed the discs off Howard, both were labelled. One read 'Hospital' and the other read 'Phone Call'.

'One Jump Ahead.' I thought. Quatre was right. Duo had a plan. Though what it was, we were still in the dark about. We had to trust him. I found that the trust wasn't hard to come by. I still trusted him. Though I doubted that it was as much as he trusted us. He was trusting us to read the clues he left behind. To find the path he had travelled.

"Did he give us any other clues?" Wufei asked, "Anything at all?"

"No," Howard shook his head, "That's all the kid provided."

"Well," Wufei nodded, "Zechs, Noin, Sally and I will explain."

"So which one of you two is Jack Sprat?" Quatre cocked his head to one side.

"Me," Wufei shrugged, "'Jack Sprat could eat not fat'. Duo sang that tune for a week after I complained that the food was too fatty."

"'Doctor Foster went to Gloucester'," Sally recited, "I know that rhyme."

"Would _someone_ please explain?" Noin hissed.

"You won't like it," Wufei stated, "It'll hurt. And you really won't like it. But it's something you'd best learn from us. Quatre, find him! He so owes me for this."

And Duo would. I had forgotten until then that Noin did _not_ like Wufei. She practically spat blood around him. They could deal with each other in a professional sense, but otherwise… Add in the fact that _what_ he and Sally would be telling the other Preventers… Well, we were expecting fireworks. Of the kind I used to launch from Heavyarms.

While Heero, Wufei and Sally filled Zechs, Noin and Howard in, Quatre continued to monitor Duo's passage.

"Do we have a course?" I settled down next to Quatre, wishing that I could burn some of the nervous energy off. I had only rarely been into combat where those I cared about were at risk. It always… unsettled me.

"Towards L1." Quatre stated, "They're going pretty straight, so I don't think that they think they're being followed."

"All we have to do is identify the satellite," I smiled, "And we can get Duo back."

"Only one small problem," Quatre sighed, "PeaceMillion may be large enough for our needs, but it's not exactly the fast thing around. Even taking into account it's a Sweeper ship. We're currently between the L2 cluster and Earth. It's going to take us nearly three hours to reach L1. They should reach it in under one half."

"They won't hurt him," I wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulders, "They can't. They need to buy our silence. He's safe. And we're moving much faster than they would expect."

"We can't lose him." Quatre whispered, "Not now. He's finally decided to _live_. Not just exist. To actually _live_."

I understood what Quatre was saying. There was a great deal of difference between what Duo had been doing and living. The most important one being that Duo hadn't _enjoyed_ anything. That is what life is. Enjoyment. Joy. Wonder. Even in the smallest things.

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I suppose Quatre or I could have explained everything to Zechs, Noin and Howard, but at the time it didn't occur to us. It would have been less confrontational. However, I think we were angry and taking it out on the nearest target, those who would believe Relena to be incapable of what he had perpetuated. We were being passive aggressive in a way.

I heard yelling from the room where the explanation was taking place. By the sounds the only two people not yelling were Sally and Howard. But then again, I have never heard Howard lose his temper, as those in the room were clearly doing. And the only yelling Howard ever does is instructions to be carried out.

When they emerged, their feelings were clearly visible on their faces. Zechs looked like someone had dropped a bomb on his house; all pale and wide-eyed. Noin looked betrayed, although whether that was directed at us for not telling her the truth earlier or Relena for deceiving her, I could not be sure. Howard merely looked resigned to the truth. Wufei seemed frustrated, obviously by Zechs and Noins inability to comprehend the truth. Sally was slightly distressed, but trying to stay calm. Heero had only gotten angrier. So much for _that_ version of anger management. If it carried on much longer he would need to punch something. I hoped it wouldn't be me, unless I could find some protective gear.

"Winner!" Zechs moved quickly over to us, "Is it true? You couldn't have made a mistake?"

"You saw the video?" Quatre asked rhetorically, "No mistake, Zechs. Relena is involved."

"There's no chance she is being forced?" Zechs pleaded.

"No chance," I shook my head, "She's doing it of her own free will."

"Relena wouldn't _do_ that!" Zechs protested.

"Well obviously she is." I didn't bother pulling my verbal punches.

"How well do you know her, Zechs?" Quatre queried gently.

"She's my _sister_!" Zechs shouted.

"And she was three when Sanq fell?" Quatre was rhetorical, "When did you next see her? During the War? She grew up while you weren't there, Zechs. Her morals came from someone else."

"She's a _child_!" Zechs yelled.

"She's the same age as us." I countered, "She's an adult. With the ability to make her own choices. She has power. She became corrupted."

"She believes that she is entitled to anything she wants," Quatre agreed with me, "No one ever told her 'No' when she was a child. So when they say 'No' _now_, she takes it anyway."

"She wouldn't _do_ that." Zechs whispered.

"She already has," Quatre's gentle voice belied his words, "And the longer we let her continue, the more people she will hurt. We have to stop her."

"It's not your fault, Zechs," Noin comforted him, "You love her. You did what you thought was right. It's not your fault."

I couldn't help but be struck by the difference between the Maganacs, Zechs, Noin and Howard. The Maganacs believed Quatre unconditionally, but then again they were all completely loyal to my lover. Zechs believed that we had to be mistaken or that Relena was somehow being coerced into her current course of action. Noin had distrusted Wufei's remarks, but had believed Sally and Heero. Howard was an enigma. He believed, that much was clear, but had given no reason why. He had believed, according to Wufei, before the evidence had been presented.

"They've stopped!" Quatre glanced down at the laptop screen, still tracing Duo's movements.

"Where?" Heero demanded.

"Colony L1-Y92716." Quatre frowned slightly, "I think I've heard of it. But I don't know why."

He wasn't the only one. I vaguely recalled the reference number. By the look on Zech's and Noin's faces they were also suffering from the same thing. However none of us could place where. Sally, Heero and Wufei had no such slight memories.

Heero had claimed a laptop and was hacking blueprints for the colony; obviously planning our entry. I glanced down at them briefly. Then I did a double-take.

"The Resort Colony." I breathed.

"What?" Wufei stared at me.

"I remember," Quatre grinned as he recalled what I had already, "It was big news among the rich about six years ago."

"Fill us in?" Sally asked.

"You know how on Earth there are Resort Islands?" Quatre shrugged, "Places where only the rich and famous can go. Well, someone tried to set one up on a colony. It went under about five years ago. I hadn't heard anything else about it until now."

"So we're looking at an abandoned posh hotel?" Wufei wanted confirmation, "Should be easy enough. Hostage rescue in an urban environment. Add in the fact that Duo is fighting back at his captors…"

"No." Heero interrupted.

"What do you mean?" Sally frowned, "No, he's _not_ fighting?"

"It's not urban." Heero declared, turning the laptop around so that the others could see, "It's got a jungle zone, a mountain zone, a beach zone, a sea zone and a Serengeti zone."

"Yes," Quatre nodded, "I remember. It was supposed to be a 'Safe' alternative to the wild outdoors. All the fun and none of the danger. A millionaire's adventure playground. With all the luxuries and amenities of a five star hotel."

"Then we have a problem." Wufei stated. Not that he needed to point it out to the rest of us Gundam Pilots. We knew what the problem was. The others, however, didn't.

"What do you mean we've got a problem?" Noin demanded, "You boys know how to deal with the _real_ wild outdoors. You'll be fine!"

"That's not our problem," Wufei sighed, "Duo is. He's absolutely _useless_ when surrounded by Nature. He's a creature of the cities. A true urbanite."

"But he did all those missions on our bases out in the middle of nowhere!" Zechs stared.

"On each of those missions," I stated, "One of us backed Duo up. We didn't go anywhere near the base… Our job was to keep Duo alive to complete _his_ mission."

"He can survive in the wilderness," Quatre shrugged, "But not much more. Granted that's a lot more than most people. Duo was trained for highly specific missions, with highly specific requirements. Stealth. Speed. Endurance. Piloting skills. Evasion. His hand-to-hand is better than most, but not the greatest. He's a great shot. But no better than the rest of us. He's amazing with daggers. He can fix and improve anything that is broken with only the minimum of tools. He can survive and thrive in any city in the Sphere. But he's _meant_ for the cities. For urban areas. Or for Space."

"He'll be at a disadvantage." I announced, "If they have _anyone_ who can track even half-way decently, they'll catch Duo easily if he escapes. He's in no state to fight physically."

"Then we'll just have to make sure he doesn't have to." Heero growled.

It wouldn't be easy. I glanced, once again, at the blueprints. There were hidden tunnels and rooms around the colony. All designed to be as invisible as possible. Hidden in places Duo would not think to look, even if he knew they existed. He could be imprisoned in anyone of the concealed rooms or even left to roam free in the colony taking shelter in the numerous scattered luxury huts.

We would have to rely on Quatre's tracker, moving quickly and silently throughout the colony, until we found Duo. Then we would have to spread out and subdue all other persons there, before separating the innocent from the guilty. Who knew, this colony could have been used as a prison before.

We were prepared as we approached the colony. Our first indicator that Duo was loose was spotted before we even docked. One of the emergency airlock hatches was open, on the outside of the colony. This made the inside hatch impossible to open, thus our discrete entry point was easy to locate and utilize.

However it seemed that Duo didn't want us to be completely discrete. The minute we opened the internal door to enter the colony completely, a tune started playing over the PA system. By the lyrics, I assumed it was the song that Quatre had mentioned Duo enjoying from the film Aladdin. I had to admit, the tune did sound like something Duo would enjoy. All cheery and light-hearted. On the other hand it did not fit with the Duo I had come to expect since we had found him. All pain and anguish. It was almost as if with the decision to fight there were now two people in Duo. The old Duo and the new Duo. I had no illusions about Duo being completely back to 'normal'. The mind doesn't fix itself that quickly. I should know.

I was of the belief that right then there were two personalities in Duo's mind fighting for dominance. One wanted to curl up and surrender. The other wanted to fight. This may seem like a leap in logic, but the newer Duo wouldn't have used the old children's rhymes to refer to us. The newer Duo wouldn't have rigged the PA system to play children's songs, as after 'One Jump Ahead' the music hadn't stopped, but continued in the same style.

For Duo to have gone from willing slave of the conspiracy, even with his small rebellion in informing us, though that could be seen as a successful interrogation, to fighter was too much of a switch for him to be whole in his mind. At least in my opinion. But I dared not voice it to the others. Partly from fear that Heero would take my head off. He was teetering at the edge of another Zero Episode, and none of us dared push him, in case he fell.

We were in the labyrinth of tunnels underneath the surface of the colony, at first. However we swiftly realized that Duo was not in these tunnels. We emerged into the main portion of the colony. The Maganacs spread out in small groups, maintaining contact via small radios.

We couldn't go directly to where Duo was located, as the tracker needed to be calibrated to the internal colony sensors. It was difficult as the sensors were older than on most colonies, thus requiring more fiddling on Quatre's part. He was doing the adjustments rather than anyone else as he knew the system better and had the most amount of patience at that point in time.

As we moved through the various terrains as stealthily as we had during the War, we started to notice signs that Duo had passed this way as well. At first it was merely faint footprints and indentations. But as time passed the indentations became more pronounced and other signs became obvious.

It is hard to miss bullet holes and laser scorches.

I will admit that I was surprised to find Dorothy Catalonia unconscious in one of the small huts in the jungle. She had been crudely restrained using some vines.

I wasn't the only person surprised. The main puzzle that faced us was who had restrained her. Duo? Or our enemy?

The other questions were fairly obvious: What was she doing there? Why was she unconscious? How had she been rendered so? And what was the cord bracelet around her wrist for?

I would have said it was a fashion statement, only I couldn't imagine Dorothy wearing such a juvenile item. It was out of character for her.

Once Sally had checked her over, Quatre instructed some of the Maganacs to carry Dorothy back to PeaceMillion, or rather PeaceMillion's shuttle, and keep her under guard, until we knew what was going on.

"Got it!" Quatre finally exclaimed. He'd been having some trouble calibrating the portable tracking device with the colony's internal sensors and overlaying the results onto the blueprints of the colony.

"Where is he?" Heero demanded.

"Follow me." Quatre dashed away, relying on the rest of us to cover him, should a fight begin.

"Is he moving?" Wufei queried.

"He's stationary." Quatre responded.

For a moment we didn't really think about the implications for that. Then we did. And we sped up.

If Duo had been on the run, as we knew he had been, the only reasons he would be stationary would be if he was captured, hiding, pinned down, injured or… Heaven forbid… dead.

There wasn't much opposition as we approached Duo's location. While we moved swiftly, we also moved _carefully_ and _cautiously_. Thus we saw our enemy, long before they saw us. Especially considering that we were more used to such territory.

And there were enemies. Armed with tasers, laser pistols and machine guns they were low-grade thugs, by my estimation. Not mercenaries. They were the kind of fighters that mercenaries would scorn. I guessed that they were either supposed to be in prison or had recently been released and hired.

We didn't kill them though. Even if they had no real relevance to the conspiracy, we needed them alive. Alive they could identify their employer or employers. Alive they could be invaluable witnesses.

Keeping as quiet as possible we took them down and restrained them, before sending them back to PeaceMillion with a Maganac guard.

Thus when we neared on Duo's location, in the bowels of the labyrinth of tunnels, our numbers had reduced. There were only the Pilots, Sally, Zechs and Noin left. Those Maganacs who had guarded us until then were acting as sentries.

We heard the sounds of a discussion as we approached. But we couldn't make out the words at first. Then as we came in range the voices fell frustratingly silent.

The door, however, was open. But we did not charge in. Better to gain an understanding of the situation first. Even Heero in all his fury could accede to that.

We used small mirrors, borrowed for this purpose from the Sweepers. What I saw nearly stopped my heart, and thinking back I do not know how Heero restrained himself from jumping into the situation. Maybe my lover's little speech had had more of an impact than I had thought at the time.

The words playing over the PA system at that point bored into my mind as I tried to comprehend what I was seeing. My mind was in denial of what my eyes could clearly see.

#If you've got talent, everything is free.#

Not this time. Duo had the talent, I knew that. But he wasn't free. Instead he hung suspended from a zero gravity hand-hold on the ceiling. The chain of a pair of handcuffs running over the bar. Duo's hands hung limp, the tips of his fingers I fancied were turning blue. The cuffs were far too tight I noted, actually cutting into his flesh. Blood congealed on his wrists.

His hair was unbound. I had only seen his hair free from its customary braid while he was washing or drying it. And even then it had seemed such an intensely _private_ thing that I had gone out of my way to not see it. To be absent for those times when it would be unbound; leaving Quatre to help him in bathing instead of myself. I do not know whether this was a conscious decision on my part, or not.

Seeing his hair unbound was like seeing him naked in my eyes. It was wrong.

I did note, however, that as I had expected Duo's hair was longer than he was tall. By a considerable margin.

He hung limply from his wrists. His feet not reaching the ground. His head hung down on his chest. The possible reasons ran through my mind:

'Unconscious? Simply no strength? Looking away from his captors? Or… No!'

I refused to accept the last possibility as plausible.

For a moment I tried to puzzle out why Duo was wearing one of my t-shirts and a pair of Quatre's trousers. Neither came anywhere close to fitting him. I guessed that Quatre's trousers had at least a quarter of their length rolled up so that Duo could walk without tripping. I wondered how it was even staying around his much skinner waist. And my t-shirt was a baggy one, even on me. It reached his knees comfortably, being more of a dress than a t-shirt on the waif-like Duo. His feet were bare of shoes and socks, and had been in that way for some time, judging by the dirt stained upon them.

Then I realized why. And I was ashamed… Of myself. Duo had nothing else to wear. Unless he desired to be kidnapped in his pyjamas, the only clothing Quatre and I had provided. We had been negligent in our care of our friend. While we had rushed around trying to find methods to oppose our enemy, we had neglected the basic care of our friend. Yes, he had been fed, given company, medication and entertainment. But we had neglected to provide simple things such as clothes.

'What sort of friends were we?' the thought raced through my brain. Swiftly followed by its answer, 'Bad ones. Really, _really_ bad ones.'

Most of Duo's arms were visible, and I could see recent scratches and bullet creases along them. Along with electrical burns on his fingers and a few electrical burns among his patchwork of scars and recent bruises.

#Your gonna see how the best survive.#

I finally noticed the others in the room. I had known they were there, but Duo had filled my mind to their exclusion. Relena was watching Duo's limp form intently. It reminded me of the way a hyena would observe a dying creature, waiting for it to lack the strength to fight back, before coming closer and devouring it while it was still alive. Hungry, but also slightly mocking. It sent chills down my spine.

Une was more bored. As if she wanted just to get everything over with. When she looked towards Duo and Relena there was disgust in her eyes, but also pity.

Their weapons were clearly visible. Une playing with a pistol, whether normal or laser I could not tell. However it was a custom job and I knew she was an excellent shot. That wasn't much to worry about. She was good. Heero was better. As was I.

Relena's weapon, however, was the more worrying. It looked like a cattle-prod, but I doubted it was. More likely it was a stun-baton, designed for subduing rowdy prisoners. However it was well known that over-exposure to the high electrical currents that flowed throughout its entire structure, bar its insulated handle, could severely damage a victim both physically and mentally.

That turned the electrical burns on his arms into something far less pleasant. I had assumed that weariness, desperation and a lack of strength had led to him gaining them, while he messed with the wiring of the station to achieve some of the tricks he undoubtedly had hidden around the place. However the baton opened my eyes to what I had denied. The burns were too regular in shape for accidents to be the cause.

#We make an art out of staying alive.#

As we watched, Relena viciously jabbed the baton into Duo's unmoving torso. He jerked, almost dancing as the pain flowed through him.

Quatre's trousers fell off him with the motions, revealing further burns on his legs. He had not been escaping when those injuries had been inflicted, I noted. No way. Pure torture.

"Stop it." Une sighed, "He's not even awake to feel it."

Duo looked like some kind of fragile nature spirit, dressed in only a loose tunic. Logically I had _known_ that Duo was now the smallest of us. But I had not really accepted it. His personality had made up the rest of his required size, until even I had felt dwarfed by him.

He was just a child hanging there. No bigger than a kid. No… No less defenceless.

I confess that I was in two emotions when I saw blood starting to stain the tunic. Part of me was horrified that Duo was injured enough to bleed that much; fearing for his life if he lost too much. The other part rejoiced that Duo was _alive_ to bleed.

"We need him coherent enough to prove to the Pilots that he's alive." Une told Relena, "We need to guarantee their silence."

"We'll do more than _that_!" Relena spat, "I am sick and tired of waiting for Heero to realize that he is in love with me. He will marry me or Duo will pay for it."

"Their silence is more important than your childish dreams." Une stated.

"I don't care!" Relena lashed out at Duo again with the baton, "This piece of _trash_ corrupted my _Prince_! He should have died years ago!"

"He was still useful." Une countered, "He did get you your position, _Princess_!"

"I would have gotten it anyway." Relena sniffed.

"Maybe." Une shrugged, "But he was useful. And still is. We need the Pilots' silence more than you need to marry Heero."

"I _will_ have him!" Relena snapped, "He can get us what we both want."

I will always be amazed at Heero's restraint. The fact that he had not charged in by that point was a major miracle in and of itself. I spared a moment to glance at Zechs. He was pale. The reality of the world sinking in. Finally, he understood that his sister had grown up. And he didn't like the woman she had become.

"On three." Quatre mouthed, when he had managed to catch all our attentions.

He counted to three using his fingers. The nano-second the third finger went up we charged into the room.

"Leave him alone!" Heero growled as Une reacted faster than we had expected. She had pulled on Duo's hair forcing his head back as her gun was rammed under Duo's chin. She had also moved behind Duo, using his body as a shield. We couldn't attack her. Although we could take down Relena easily, we didn't. Right then, she was better as a distraction for Une.

The movements seemed to have roused Duo from his unconscious state. Even with his head tilted as far back as it was I could see his eyes open slightly. Through eyelashes he looked at us. I could see the naked pain in his eyes.

"You're early." He whispered, "Do you have Dorothy?"

"Yes." Quatre nodded.

"On her wrist," Duo murmured, "A recording. Confession."

I saw the smirk on Wufei's face. Duo had gotten us the final piece of evidence. We held the winning hand. All that was necessary was the last part of the quest.

"Leave everything to us, Duo." Quatre smiled, "We'll take care of it. We'll look after you."

"I'm sorry." Duo's voice was weak and cracked, "I'm so sorry."

He fell limp again. But this time there was no apparent cause.

The last two lines of the song stuck in my head.

#If you play it brave and bold;

These streets are made of gold.#

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

I write stories because I can't draw. I have all these images in my head that I cannot reproduce. So I try and describe them with words. If anyone else would like to try to translate what I have written into what they think I saw in my head, they have my permission. I only ask that I be notified of it, so that I may look and go "OOoooh!".

Thank you.

To all who read this, I am setting a challenge. In this chapter I use the code-name "Kitty Fisher" for Noin. Can anyone name or quote where the name comes from?

Anonymous Void – Yeah, two front wars are bad. Old quote I once read: "Only an idiot tries to fight a war on two fronts, and only a madman tries to fight one on three". But I don't think I'm going to get a third front.

Hellfire – Thanks for the lemonade! You scared of Disney or something?

Murano4191 – Glad you enjoyed it.

Fauxsey – Here you go!

Firehedgehog – Thanks for your comments.

Katerina Shinigami – More as you requested. I don't know why but Duo suited the song.

Illusion-Factory – Duo is often portrayed at "the-boy-who-never-grew-up", I thought he should use that.

Leora chan – Torch much appreciated. I'm still lost down here though. Cookies much appreciated. And will you _stop_ looking at me like my cat?! He's bad enough!

Whitetiger1589 – Not sure when you'll get this, so I'll only say well done on figuring out "Wendy's sister" and "Wendy's sister's best friend". I didn't think _anyone_ would get that! *Hands you chocolate cake*. Glad I'm catching you out on some of the references. My mind works in mysterious ways.

TenshiNanashi – Duo thanks you for your support.

Wind Dancer1981 – I will.

SisterFreaks – I came up with Duo's code-name of "Peter-Pan" first, Heero's name next and then realized I had a theme going. The song just happened. Glad you liked it.

Laesk – You're welcome.

Raelyn-Mage – *Bows*. Why thank you. By the way… Your computer is near the bed?

Toraus – Thanks for your comments. I'm glad you're enjoying this.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – I'm afraid you will have to wait. My suspense urges haven't been quelled yet.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Duo's POV

Sometimes I think I should have just committed suicide when Relena first approached me. And yes, it was Relena. She's no innocent. Everyone seems to forget that she tried to kill Colonel Une once during the War. The only reason she failed was that she was a rubbish shot. I remembered though.

She had approached me while I was looking around a shopping centre. I was trying to find something to cheer the others up with. Some practical joke or magic trick. Something innocuous.

I had my eye on a particular magic trick, something to do with never-ending scarves, I think, when Relena came up to me.

"We need to talk." Four words. The four words that would cause my entire world to come crashing down on my head.

She led me to her car. That poor car. I always feel sorry for it. To be painted _that_ colour? Poor thing. Pink. Of all the colours.

Inside the limousine Une was waiting for us. Or rather for me.

"Maxwell." She nodded.

"Commander." I replied, "May I ask what this is about?"

"We are here about the recent outbreak of violence." Une informed me.

"It's over," I shrugged, "We dealt with Dekin. Mariamaia's going to get psychiatric help to fix what he did to her. Everything's sorted. What is there to discuss?"

"The possibility of it happening again." Relena declared.

"The way I understand it," I frowned, "It only happened because the Preventers weren't set up from the very end of the War. You're all set up now, Une-Lady. They wouldn't be able to hide. I don't see what the problem is."

"Some people would be able to evade the law," Une announced, "Using money to buy their freedom."

"True." I agreed, "But that always happens. Most wouldn't though. I don't see why you came to me. If you are worried about bribery you should be addressing the Law Courts and the UESN."

"There is another way." Relena smiled and I felt a shiver run down my spine with her smile, "We could eliminate the problem."

"Kill those who committed crimes and yet escaped justice." Une added.

"And you want me to do it?" I asked knowing the answer, "I won't. I've achieved what I set out to do. I came back for the last fight… because I was asked to. I just want to live out my life quietly. No blaze of glory. Just slipping quietly and peacefully away. Hopefully after many, many years. I'm not interested."

"You're assuming, erroneously, that you have a choice." Relena smirked.

"And why wouldn't I?" I dreaded the answer, but I knew it would come.

"Paragraph six," Une handed me a sheet of paper, "Line nine."

It was a copy of my official pardon from my war crimes. I read the line, and my heart sank.

"You know this won't really affect me." I stated, "I didn't really commit any true war crimes."

"But it will the others." Relena countered.

"Their freedom," Une laid out the terms, "For your service. Our silence on this matter is guaranteed, if you vanish. We will provide you with names, locations and pictures. You dispose of them. You will not contact anyone. You will not inform the others. You will effectively vanish off the face of the Sphere."

"What if I choose door number three?" I asked, my face not revealing my true emotions.

"There is no third option." Relena scoffed.

"There's _always_ a third option." I replied, "As I'm sure the Colonel knows well."

"You commit suicide," Une smirked, "And well, we'll still need an assassin…"

"You mean Murderer." I argued.

"Let's not worry about the terminology," Une smiled, "You die, and we'll get one of the others to take your place."

"Who?" I demanded.

"Wufei Chang." Une declared.

Not on option. Back then Wufei was pulling together the pieces of his soul and life. Trying to find out who he was. He was held together with sticking plasters and cotton rags masquerading as bandages. It would have destroyed him. Prevented him from finding the man I _knew_ was hiding underneath the Warrior. I had only seen that man a few times, but I respected him. He was brave. Noble. Scholarly. Intelligent. Caring. He was to be treasured. I couldn't let him be harmed.

And that man would die if Wufei was forced into the corner I was in. Wufei was already blaming himself for those who had been killed or injured during the Rebellion. He didn't need any further guilt.

Better I carried the burden than anyone else. Better I was a murder than the others be reduced to it.

"Did you know," Relena's tone was conversational, "That there's a large number of people calling for the execution of Pilot Oh-Four? For his crime of destroying a colony."

"And if they did that for one of the Pilots," Une added, "They would surely do it for the others."

That was the final straw. I would not allow them to kill the others. Not while I still drew breath.

Relena and Une were clever. They knew my Price. I suddenly remembered a conversation I had had with Quatre during the War about prices.

*Flashback*

"Everyone has a Price, Quatre." I shrugged, "It's the way of life."

"Some people can't be brought." Quatre had argued.

"Everyone has a Price," I repeated, "Once you know what it is… you have a great deal of power over them."

"And I say some people can't be bought." Quatre retorted, "Their moral integrity is too high."

"Sometimes a Price isn't tangible," I had snorted, "Sometimes it's not money or jewels. Sometimes it's something else. Something more valuable than those things. Power. Respect. Friends. Family. Love. Safety. Everyone has a Price. A point at which it will cost them more to leave what you're offering, than it does to take it."

"You're talking blackmail." Quatre had stared.

"Maybe," I had shrugged, "But everyone has their Price. Even you little bro."

"And you?"

"Even me." I had nodded.

"What's mine then?" Quatre asked.

"I don't know." I smiled, "I haven't bothered to work it out."

"What's yours?"

"I'm not telling you." I had smirked.

*End Flashback*

I had thought it funny at the time. The rich kid not believing that people could be bought and sold. Quatre had been wonderfully naïve. It had almost felt like I was being cruel in shattering his little ideal world.

"I'll do it." I whispered, hanging my head slightly. I had always known what my price was. Had known it for years.

My friends. My _Family_. Threaten my Family and I'll roll over and play fetch like a good little doggy. And the Pilots were my Family. I had known it for a long time.

Had known it from the moment I had first realized that Heero was on the same side as me. Had known it from the first time Wufei shouted and yelled at us. Had known it from the moment that Quatre first opened his arms and protected me from the storms of the War. Had known it from the first time I had seen Trowa, even _if_ he had been dressed in an OZ uniform.

I would not lose another Family if I could help it. Even if it cost me my soul.

"Here." Une presented me with a mobile phone and a sheet of paper with an e-mail login on it, "We will contact you using these. You will _not_ contact us. The murders are to be anonymous. If the Preventers ever have to start looking for you, _officially_, the deal is off."

"Understood," I nodded, "In return. When I die, as long as it is not by my own hand, the others stay safe and uninvolved."

"Fair enough." Relena agreed.

"As long as you survive long enough to meet our needs." Une added, "You have one week to vanish. We will pay you for your deeds."

"I don't need your Blood Money." I growled.

"You will take it though," Une sneered, "You'll need money to survive, after all. We will expect you to be where we want you, _when_ we want you. It is up to you to keep yourself in a suitable condition and suitably prepared."

The car stopped and Colonel Une got out.

And it was the Colonel. The woman who left the car was not the Kind and Gentle Lady Une. Nor was she the Strict, but Fair Commander. She was the Cruel and Callous Colonel.

The door shut behind her and the car drove on.

"Why did you choose me?" I asked Relena. I thought I might as well learn the reason, "You had so many people to choose from. People easier than me."

"Because you're getting in the way." Relena sniffed.

"Of what?" I frowned.

"Of Heero and I being a couple." Relena declared, "As it is _meant_ to be. You see, Heero is confused about his emotions. He doesn't understand all the different things he is feeling. You're making him _think_ he's in love with you. When he's really in love with me. And you're not discouraging it, because you love him!"

I thought about it for a moment. I loved Heero? Yes. It was true. I loved all the Pilots. But I wasn't _in_ love with them. I didn't know what that was like.

I knew what it felt like to love a father. I had loved and did love Father Maxwell, as such. He had loved me like his own son. So I understood how it felt to be loved by a father.

I knew what it felt like to love a mother. I had loved and always would love Sister Helen as my mother. She had loved me like her own. So I had known a mother's love.

I knew what it felt like to love a brother or sister. I had loved Solo, the other Street-rats and orphans as such, and would always do so. And they had loved me in the same way. Although the love I had felt for Solo was deeper than for any of the others. He had been the centre of my world for several years.

It was this form of love that I felt towards the Pilots. Admittedly towards Quatre the love was deeper. More similar to the love I held for Solo. But that was understandable; he loved me in return, in the same manner.

With Heero though, it was deeper still. I didn't understand why. I couldn't figure out what there was between us that made it that much more… intense.

He did not treat me like Quatre did. But there had to be a reason.

I wasn't in love with him though. I knew that. I hadn't seen many people I knew well 'in love' with each other. But… I didn't look at Heero the way Quatre looked at Trowa or Trowa looked at Quatre. And Heero didn't look at me in those ways, either.

Quatre and Trowa were the only examples of non-familial love I knew well. Unless you counted the soap-operas, dramas and films I had seen.

Those were obviously idealised and falsified examples of love. The stuff that happened in them just didn't happen in real life.

No, Relena was right. Heero wasn't in love with me. But I doubted he thought he was. He thought I was an idiot. A fool. Sometimes a useful fool. But a fool nonetheless. And a liability. He had proven that during the Rebellion. He could have just asked me to trust him. Asked me to play dead. He hadn't needed to hit me. And certainly not that hard. He'd cracked a couple of ribs! He almost broke them. And I had had to fight with them. Traversing the atmosphere with broken ribs? I could have died… From injuries he had given me.

Yet he had never apologized. And I wasn't going to confront him about it. Why should I? He had committed the deed, it was up to him to find someway of addressing it.

But he wouldn't get the chance. I had to leave.

Yes I loved him. I loved all of them. And therefore I would leave.

"I mean how many times have you slept with him, you slut?" Relena accused.

"Too many to count." I replied idly.

It was true. I had slept with Heero many times. On many missions. Those two-man tents are only really designed for one. We had had to squeeze close together to stay dry and warm. Heero had never wanted to bother with the extra weight for a larger tent, and had stated that a single tent was safer, more secure than two. I had never argued with him. I couldn't see the point. I'd slept in worse conditions.

Then there were the times I had fallen asleep in his dorm room while we were hiding in boarding schools during the War. Usually after a planning session and Heero was updating Dr J. He wouldn't let me leave, just in case he neglected some minor detail that I was aware of. Very rare, but it did occur. I often fell asleep on his bed.

The next day I would wake and he would be in the bed as well. Awakening as I twitched. I had never objected, in a way I felt safer like that. Reminded me of the way the Street-rat gang had slept as a huddle, for warmth and safety.

And why shouldn't he sleep in the bed? It was his bed. I had just borrowed it for a while. It wasn't as if he could sneak to _my_ room to sleep. Curfew would have started and we were trying not to stand out or break too many rules.

Okay, it _had_ disturbed me that he always managed to pull my shoes off, get in and pull the quilt over the both of us, _without_ waking me. Never mind the arm that later on would wrap around me as we slept. But I had never addressed the issue. I think I didn't want to know the answer.

So yes, I had slept with Heero numerous times. But never in the way Relena had meant. I had _never_ done that in my entire life. Not with anyone.

Why would I want to? It hurt. I knew that. I had seen it on the streets. Those people who earned their living that way. Solo used to say that:

"You've only reached the bottom when the only thing left to sell is yourself. Don't you end up like that Kid. You're too smart. You're too fast. Don't do it. It's never easy. And it has a price you _don't_ want to pay."

I never found out what he meant by that. But I did hear those people scream in agony as they earned the money to feed themselves. I saw a few of them beg for relief. I tried to prevent some from dying, when they were bleeding from injuries caused during the event. But I was never able to save any of them.

Why would I want to suffer that? I couldn't believe it was the greatest display of love.

Quatre didn't know it, but I had watched him and Trowa after they had first done it. Hoping that I wouldn't see blood where none should be. Neither of them had noticed, actually. But I hadn't seen any blood either. I had still watched though. Just in case… I wasn't losing either of them. I remembered thinking that I hoped they were sensible enough to get help if things started to go wrong.

I had to admire them though. They must have had terrific pain tolerances not to cry in pain. I had seen people who had earned their living that way for nearly six years cry out in agony.

But I much preferred it when they expressed their love using music. Nobody got hurt then.

"You see?" Relena sneered, "You're not helping him. He needs to confront him emotions. Not hide from them. He's a Prince! And I am a Princess. We were destined to be together. It is True Love!"

How could I argue with that? Relena had to know her own emotions. She was obviously far more experienced in determining what people 'in love' looked like. I had never even heard of True Love in the real world.

She wouldn't lie. Not about that. And even if she would… Well, I can spot a lie. She wasn't lying.

I knew one thing about love. One thing that everyone I love, who had died, had stuck to. If you truly love someone, you will do anything to make them happy. Being 'in love' makes people happy.

I was in the way of Heero realizing that he was 'in love' with Relena. Therefore, I had to leave.

It was that simple. I wouldn't get in the way. I couldn't. Love forgives everything. So Heero would forgive Relena for being involved in this scheme should he ever find out. But he wouldn't. I would make sure of that.

I think it was then that I stopped thinking of Relena as Relena. Instead there were two people. One was Heero's Relena, the person he was in love with. The one who was the innocent, little girl I had once saved. Someone to be protected and cared for. The other was the Vice-Foreign Minister, who pulled my strings. The two were separate. And very few people knew of the existence of the second.

How does the saying go?

"The greatest trick Lucifer ever pulled was to convince the world he didn't exist."

Well the Vice-Foreign Minister was right up there with Lucifer. For the sake of my friends, I would play Faust to the Vice-Foreign Minister and Une's Satan.

For my Family I would do anything. I will admit that if it came to a choice between them and Peace, I would have to think, but other than that, there is no choice to be made. My loyalty was, is and always will be to them. And them alone.

The Vice-Foreign Minister let me out her car. I was back where I had started. In the shopping centre.

It was time to pull my game-face on. The others couldn't know what I knew. They couldn't find out. That meant I had to fool them. It also meant I had to leave that night.

Une may have given me a week before the deadline. But the longer I stayed, the more likely it would be that they would figure out that something was up.

I must have put on a show suitable for the stage or for the big screen. None of them batted an eyelid. I know the only reason I managed to fool Quatre was that he was distracted. He obviously had plans with Trowa for the evening.

But still… I fooled them. As each of them left the main room, I said 'Goodnight' to each of them. How I longed to say 'Goodbye'. I but daren't. I had never said goodbye before. I don't like the finality of it. They would have known something was wrong. But I couldn't lie and say 'See you tomorrow' either. 'Goodnight' was my only real option.

I went to bed at my usual time. I even fell asleep. Little piece of information you may not know, I can wake up at whatever time I tell myself to, so long as I am not disturbed.

That night I awoke again at about quarter past midnight. I quietly grabbed what I would need. My stealth-kit, complete with my safe-box, a change of clothes, my laptop, my music, my weapons.

I took my cross off, and laid it on the dresser. I felt naked without it. But it couldn't come with me. I had worn it on a mission of Revenge. The only thing that had kept it pure, despite all the killings I had done, was that I had only killed those involved in the fighting. I had only killed the guilty.

There was no guarantee that those I would be instructed to kill from then on would be guilty. I had no illusions on that front.

I would not contaminate the cross that Sister Helen had given me. I could not allow it to be corrupted by my crimes. Up until then, I had killed for revenge, killed to survive and stolen to live. I had committed _necessary_ crimes.

These crimes were not truly necessary. They were the desires of two mad women: Colonel Une and the Vice-Foreign Minister.

I placed a short note beside the cross. I had thought for hours about what to write. Ever since I had accepted what I would have to do. There could be no clues about what I was going to do. No identifying marks about who was involved. Nothing that could be construed as a clue. And absolutely nothing that could interfere with Heero's love for Relena.

In the end I had only found two words that I could write and yet not tell a lie.

"I'm sorry."

As I crept though the mansion, part of me wanted to go to each of my friends and watch them sleep for a moment. To say a silent goodbye. But I didn't dare open Heero's door. He's a light sleeper. I have only managed to open his door without him waking up a handful of times.

I don't like intruding on Wufei, while he's sleeping. I've never told him, but he talks in his sleep. In Chinese. Or more specifically Mandarin. I don't know who Meilan was to him. But they were important. He's always talking to her. I think it's a her, anyway. He also talks to his Gundam, Nataku. I have only intruded on Wufei once while he slept for the purposes of a prank. Apart from that, I only know what I overheard while we shared a room.

I might have peered into Quatre and Trowa's room. But I didn't think that was a good idea. Judging by the small sounds coming from there, not only were they _not_ asleep. But I would not have been welcomed.

I crept to the kitchen and stole a few MREs and ration bars. I didn't know when I would next be able to buy food. I knew I would have to write off all my hidden accounts of stolen OZ money. I didn't know how many Heero knew about. Better to err on the side of caution when it came to Heero's deductive skills.

I would only have the Blood Money to live off. As much as it would make me feel terrible for using it… the Colonel had been right. I would need it.

Despite all the security around Quatre's home, it was almost laughably easy for me to leave.

I didn't look back as I snuck away. I think I feared that if I did, I would never be able to leave. Despite all the reasons I had to leave.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

I write stories because I can't draw. I have all these images in my head that I cannot reproduce. So I try and describe them with words. If anyone else would like to try to translate what I have written into what they think I saw in my head, they have my permission. I only ask that I be notified of it, so that I may look and go "OOoooh!".

Thank you.

Lucy Locket lost her pocket,

Kitty Fisher found it.

Not a penny was there in it,

But a ribbon around it.

Congratulations to: Dragon Fairies; Twisted Truth; Fuzzybuzz21; Katerina Shinimagi; Arialee.

Points are also awarded to Leora Chan, who looked it up.

Well done! You all get virtual brownies.

Wind Dancer1981 – Thanks for the sympathy for Duo.

Anonymous Void – Why should Duo be 'Perfect'? And the children's references just came.

Windwraith – You hold on out there. There's a few more twists on the way.

Dragon Fairies – Fluff can be good. But I needed a little tragedy here.

Twisted Truth – Keep on waiting. I still don't know quite where this will end up.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – I don't know how many more chappies. But more than a handful. After all Duo hasn't told _his_ side of the story yet.

Hellfire – Thanks! I used to read Nursery Rhymes a lot. And Google is a wonderful thing.

Toraus – Moving in day, huh? Hope it went well. Glad you liked the code.

Fuzzybuzz21 – Glad you're enjoying this.

Raelyn-Mage – The action continues. Enjoy!

Katerina Shinigami – Keep the claws _in_! My cat has a habit of kneading me with his. It _hurts_!

Firehedgehog – Thanks for the review.

Leora chan – My cat just keeps on yowling. He's missing his brother. Unfortunately his brother isn't around any more. And he's a Siamese. They _really_ yowl. Thanks for the brownies. Glad you liked the last chapter.

Lilly – Wait and see. I've a lot more miles to go, before I sleep.

Laesk – Have no intention of stopping.

Arialee – Thanks for your comments.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Duo's POV – Cont.

I moved quickly. I had to get off-planet as quickly as possible. I only had until breakfast. I could have had longer, had I not left my cross and my note… But I couldn't just leave them without an explanation… or rather an apology.

Once at the Space-Port, I had to choose a destination. I couldn't go to L2. The others would expect that. They would follow. I couldn't have that.

Cattie would probably kick himself if he ever found out that I stowed away on a shuttle heading for L4. I knew the territory well. And I knew how to bypass Winner Industries security. I spent a week sleeping in factories owned by Winner Industries.

Quatre's security forces may be good. But I'm so much better. They never even knew I was there.

During that week I rigged the e-mail address I had been given to forward all e-mails to the mobile phone. After all, I couldn't guarantee that I would look at my e-mails soon after an e-mail arrived. And I would have to make sure that all communication was rapid.

I received my first text message on the last day.

"Good. L3-3861T. Corner of Christie Street and Lomer Road. Tomorrow. 1315."

Blunt. But it contained all the relevant details.

This time I hid aboard a Sweeper ship heading in the right direction.

Une arrived precisely at quarter-past one. In an unmarked car. Blue in colour. It wouldn't stick out in traffic.

"Get in." She instructed.

I obeyed. Though I had barely shut the door when the car sped off. I rattled around in the back of the car for a moment, until I managed to get a seat-belt fastened around me.

I had no idea where she was taking me. Or for what reason. Quite frankly I didn't care. My life wasn't worth anything anymore. The only reason the Vice-Foreign Minister had let me live was that the Colonel still had a use for me. I had no illusions about that. The veil had come off my eyes. I saw the Vice-Foreign Minister for who she really was. Power corrupts. And absolute power corrupts absolutely.

The car stopped in the warehouse district. The Colonel led me into an unlit warehouse. Then bright lights snapped on. I flung up a hand to shield my eyes from the lights. The Colonel was beyond the lights, leaving me in a circle of blinding light.

"So this is him?" A male voice I didn't automatically recognise asked, "The feared Pilot Oh-Two?"

"He's a bit scrawny." A female voice sneered.

"You sure he can do the job, Relena?" A third voice pressed, it was male and the accent placed him from either Japan or L1.

"He can do the job." The Vice Foreign Minister stated.

"Are you certain?" Another female voice demanded, "I thought the same about the last assassin we 'acquired'."

'I wasn't the first they had blackmailed?' The thought ran through my head. I had almost _heard_ the quotation marks around the word 'acquired'.

What had happened to the others? I didn't know. I didn't think I wanted to. I wouldn't ask. I _couldn't_ ask. I know the Rules of Survival. If you're in over your head, don't let anyone above you know how much you know. Because when the shit hits the fan, you're a liability. No, if I needed to know, I would have to find out via other methods. My personal survival was ingrained deep into me. And I had to stay alive for as long as possible, to protect the others.

"He can do it." The Colonel agreed, "He may be small, but he's good. Very good."

"I can't believe he was a Gundam Pilot." A fifth voice muttered, I couldn't tell the gender. I remember wondering just how many people were involved in this crazy scheme, anyway.

"Test him." A sixth voice ordered, "Not that I don't trust you, Princess, but I have heard tales about this Pilot. He's well known for being a little… dramatic shall we say?"

"I understand," The Colonel agreed, "I anticipated such a request."

I heard the rustle of paper and card. A folder I assumed. By the noises I could hear, I guessed that it was being shown around.

"A good choice." The first voice stated, "He is a blight on humanity anyway."

"That is what we are intending to fix." The fourth voice smiled, "We are the only ones who understand what is needed to be done. We are the only ones who are willing to do what has to be done."

I smothered a snort. If they were willing to do what they thought had to be done, I wouldn't have been there. I wouldn't have been necessary. They were covering their true goals with a pretty veneer of lies.

I didn't know what their true goals were. The Vice Foreign Minister just wanted me out the way. The Colonel? I wasn't too sure about. She had never been particularly sane anyway. As I had found out while I was a prisoner of hers on the Luna Base. She hadn't liked me then. Part of that was probably my smart mouth. It gets me into more trouble than I care to think about.

The true reasons for the others? I didn't know. I couldn't even tell who they were. The lights were in my eyes. To them, I was probably perfectly lit. But I couldn't even see them. Clever layout, I had to admit.

I was jolted from my thoughts as a folder was flung across the floor to me.

"Your target." The third voice announced, "He is to die in forty-eight hours. With no sign that he was murdered. You are to be discrete."

"Of course." I flicked through the file. The guy had done time for the rape and GBH of a woman. Right then, he had been released about two years, but he had done nothing since. The only thing the Police had managed to get him on recently was a Drunk and Disorderly after his family had left him.

For all I knew the guy had gotten so drunk in his grief that anything seemed like a good idea. There was no _reason_ for him to have him killed. Apart from the fact that they seemed to need to test me.

That was when I realized what their pretty little lies to themselves were. They told themselves that they were ridding the Sphere of the criminals who escaped Justice. They were acting as the Weapons of Justice. A pretty little lie, to be sure. But a lie all the same.

I would not fall into that trap. I knew why I would do what I would do. I would kill for my Family. I would commit the crimes these eight, maybe more, mad people wanted.

I was instructed to wait five minutes after the lights went out before I left the warehouse. I was to meet them again at the same corner at the same time, in two days.

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It wasn't too hard to find the target. I had to think of him like that. If I thought of him as a person, I wouldn't be able to go through with it. And I had to.

I observed him for a few hours, while I tried to figure out a method of death for him. It couldn't be an obvious murder or a lynching. I scratched suicide from the list after only an hour.

This guy was moving on with his life. He was upset about his family, yes. He was attending counselling for the rape and his anger issues. But he was also living. Finding joy in the world around him, despite everything.

I doubted he was going to commit any crime again. But he still had to die.

I noted that his e-leash, obtained via his prosecution for the Drunk and Disorderly, meant he had to be at home between eight in the evening and nine in the morning.

Breaking into his house revealed that he was not a cook. There were too many take-away boxes and menus compared to kitchen equipment for that. It suited my purpose.

Dr G. had never intended me to do assassinations. But that didn't mean he hadn't trained me for them. Only he didn't train me for the type of assassinations that Heero and Tro did. Long range sniping. Mine were to be more stealthy. More discrete. To appear as natural causes. I wasn't particularly good at it. But I did know how to do so.

Surprisingly Quatre was our poisons expert. Even if he had concentrated more on the cures than the causes themselves.

He had never killed someone using them, though.

I managed to find some mistletoe and pick a good handful of the berries. Breaking back into my target's house, I mixed the berries into one of the take-out boxes in the fridge. Into the others I poured a small chemical compound that Pestilence had always insisted I carry in my stealth-kit.

It made food look and smell bad.

After that all I needed to do was cut the phone lines to the district. Wouldn't do to make people suspicious after all. And they would if I did it to only one house. Although I didn't exactly cut the line, I did short-circuit it. I also disabled the telephone masts, just in case.

With no way to get any more food, he would go to the leftovers. With only one box not spoiled, he would eat the poisoned box.

It was sweet and sour chicken. The strong flavours drowned out the taste of the berries.

Mistletoe is fairly discrete. He didn't even know he was dying. The severe muscle cramps and the diarrhoea were written off as food poisoning. He didn't notice his heart rate slowing down to a stop. He died while he slept. I was slightly surprised that it only took about five hours, compared to the maximum of ten. I must have used a really high dose.

He was only the first to die by my hand, in my slavery.

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At the appointed time I found myself picked up and escorted to a different warehouse, but with the same light set-up.

"Very good." One of them commented, a voice I hadn't heard before.

"No one has a clue." Another agreed.

"I had assumed you were exaggerating his competence, Lady Une."

"I would not do that." The Colonel chided.

"Are we certain of his loyalty?"

"He is loyal to us." The Vice-Foreign Minister crowed.

I bit my tongue, so hard I could have _sworn_ I tasted blood. If I said a word everything would be ruined. I could not confirm the Vice-Foreign Minister's statement without lying. My loyalty was not to them. My loyalty went to four different people, whom I saw as my brothers.

For the moment and the foreseeable future, my loyalty to my brothers required that I obey these people. But they did not have my loyalty themselves.

"Will you do as we command?"

"Yes." I replied, keeping my answers as short as I can. Not finishing the statement with the next line, 'Unless you ask me to harm one of my own'.

"Will you act without question?"

"Yes." I answered again.

"Will you kill, steal and kidnap?"

"Yes." I started to realize that they were going to use the full extent of my skills.

"Will you come when we call?"

"Yes." I knew the rules.

"If caught," The Colonel was speaking, "You will confess to every crime you have committed, unless we have informed you that it was Black. Those you may not confess even on your death bed."

If I had one. I didn't expect to. I knew two names of those in the conspiracy. They were highly placed. They wouldn't want this getting out.

No one likes their dirty laundry getting a public showing. I had spent two years in an Alliance prison cell because of that. And why? Because I had survived the Massacre. I knew what had happened. Not the publicised lies.

When the Colonel, the Vice-Foreign Minister and the rest of this nutty little conspiracy were finished with me… I would die. Simple as 'ABC'.

There were no take-backs. No refunds. No way out. I had started down a long and lonely path. And I would have to walk it to its conclusion off a cliff. Because I couldn't go back. I couldn't get help. I couldn't stop. There were no turn offs. No second chances. And I would have to walk it alone.

That was okay. As long as Heero… the _others_ continued down their paths in life. As long as they were happy, I could walk the path. And I _would_ walk it.

Though I swore to myself that I would not kill anymore than necessary. I would not kill those I was not ordered to kill. I would not harm anyone anymore than necessary. And if I could organise a quick and clean death… I would.

I would do what was necessary. I would become the God of Death again. And I would kill. I didn't know how many lives would be ended at my hands at that point. And I know it wouldn't have mattered.

I was being selfish.

"You will never implicate us," Another voice instructed, "You will never reveal our names."

"Turn off the lights." A woman ordered, "He'll need to know our faces."

The lights went out, allowing me to make out figures standing beyond them.

For a few moments I blinked lights out of my eyes. Then their faces slipped into my vision.

The Vice-Foreign Minister and the Colonel I knew of already. Near them stood seven others.

Claudia Mann, a fairly high member of the UESN government. If I recalled correctly, she the lead assistant to the Treasurer. Or at least that's how Quatre explained it to me. I never could remember all those fancy titles.

Karla Stone. I think she was part of the L1 council. Fairly high up. But not the lead spokesman. Or the leading diplomat. More a behind the scenes woman. However she _had_ expressed an interest in coming more onto the Public Stage. That information I had been given by Sally of all people.

Quinton Nielsen was from L3, but was part of the Aid Relief department in the UESN. He was well known for wanted to grant aid by merit rather than need. A slippery customer, then being investigated by the Preventers according to Wufei. A passing remark the Chinese man had made at supper about three days before the Vice-Foreign Minister had approached me.

Hung Tanner, L5. The secretary for the leader of the cluster. But according to Noin, when we had met about two weeks previously, he was the power behind the throne. Good choice. You could run a cluster without a leader. But not without a secretary. He knew _everything_. And controlled the access of it to the leading politician of L5.

Mizuno Toshino was born on L1 if you believed his history. I wasn't too sure myself. I don't know. He was just too… I don't know… But he didn't _move_ like a colonist. But his position on L1 was powerful. He was the Vice Ambassador to the UESN, and apparently, if you believed the papers, a shoe-in for when the Ambassador stood down.

Bahadur Isa was L4 by birth, but had managed to emigrate to Earth. He worked for the UESN in the Law Courts. He was part of the elite number of Judges who could overturn the rulings of other Judges in the postulant's favour, if requested, and there was evidence of wrong doing. He was _supposed_ to be on the side of Justice. Not part of the _travesty_ of Justice I would be perpetuating.

Xue Jun from China. Or Jun Xue, as Fei would say. I didn't know too much about him. But I would later find out that he was part of the department that dealt with education. Particularly of orphans. He had also served as part of OZ.

I was presented with my Blood Money. I felt dirty as I put it away in my bag. That would be a state I would eventually get used to. Until I could no longer remember what it felt like to feel clean.

"We will contact you for delivery of your allowance, once a month." Tanner stated.

"We are not unreasonable," Mann smirked, "You will have plus or minus half an hour for each meet. Failure to attend…"

"I know the penalty." I interrupted. I neither wanted nor needed to hear the threat again.

"Good." Stone nodded.

"If anyone else is present with you," Toshino added, "They will die. And the penalty exacted."

"Do you understand?" Bahadur pressed.

"Yes." I whispered.

"Will you obey?"

"Yes." There was no other answer I could give.

It was a short leash I was on, but at least I did have a bit of play.

I would not kill an innocent if I could at all possibly prevent it. My targets would die, yes. But unnamed people present would be spared, if at all possible.

It was Colonel Une, who gave me my first true target a week later. A terrorist cell leader according to her sources. He died in a hunting accident, if you believe the coroners' report. Wrong sized cartridges for his shotgun. It exploded in his face, when he tried to reload. He died instantly.

That had been my second vow. If I could, I would kill clean. They would not suffer. I couldn't always guarantee quickly. But painlessly seemed like a sensible objective.

Three weeks after I began, Bahadur used me to steal all evidence of his embezzlement and wrong doing, which he was being investigated for.

Two months in and Mann told me to gather funds for an election campaign, by stealing from competitors.

That set the trend for my future dealings. The Colonel ordered murders. The others used me to gain political advantages.

I came to hate my monthly pick-ups. Usually only one of them was there, holding the cash for me to take.

But before I could, I had to endure insults, as they told me how pathetic I was. Told me how I should have never been a Pilot. Told me what a disgusting Sewer-Rat I was. The only two who never did was Jun and Tanner. Instead the former treated me with the distain that had to be in the genetics of every Chinese man. While the later looked at me with something in his eyes that made me feel dirtier than I already was.

I did try to deny their words once. They didn't give me anything to live off that month. And told that I was lucky they were feeling generous… I never tried again. The price for the lies I wanted was too high for me to pay.

I deserved every word, though. So when the blows started, I wasn't too surprised.

At first the blows were mere pushes and half-hearted slaps that I could ignore. But before three years had passed, I could receive anything up to a full out beating. And I never raised a hand against them. I forcibly stopped myself from reacting instinctively. Who knew what my punishment could be like. Again Jun, never raised a hand to me. But his disdain, hurt just as badly, if not worse than the blows. It was like having Wufei there.

The Colonel never raised a hand to me either. Just cruel words. And cold calculating looks.

Tanner also never actually hit me. But his touches were worse. They hurt right down to my soul.

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It was in the third year that I killed my first true innocent. A waiter. My target had been a drug lord from L5, whom, I had discovered, had a fondness for wild mushroom soup. He only ever frequented one particular restaurant for this dish. An exotic dish on L5.

One visit to the library later and I was out searching for a particular type of mushroom.

The plan was for the death to be written off as an accident. Manslaugher at the worst.

It was well known that for _this_ customer the soup was made special. And no one, not even the Chef, tasted it before him.

Just my luck that the target had annoyed the waiter and his chosen form of revenge was to taste the soup, before my target.

It only took a small dose. And the onset of symptoms was delayed for thirty-six hours. But the course of the poison was irreversible after twenty-four.

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I felt dirtier than before. I had made a mistake and an innocent had paid the price.

It was all my fault. If I hadn't been such an idiot… If I had just thought things through… If I had taken precautions.

I should have saved him. I should have _known_. It was my mistake. I should have paid for it.

It was in my fourth year that the then Vice-Foreign Minister ordered me to dispose of her superior.

"I'll find you your blackmail material." I stated.

"Oh no," She had smirked, "I want him gone permanently."

"I don't quite follow." I frowned.

"Kill him," She had ordered, "This is Black. You do not talk about it."

"Understood." I nodded.

And I did. The Vice-Foreign Minster was fed up of being the _Vice_-Foreign Minister. She wanted promotion. Even if she had to arrange the dead-man's shoes she would be wearing.

I had robbed the innocent. I had kidnapped innocents to persuade innocent people to do things or pay. I had collected blackmail on the essentially innocent opposition to this Conspiracy. I had found leverage on the innocent.

But I had never been sent out to _kill_ an innocent. I had to make sure that no-one realized that he had been murdered. And I would not make him suffer.

I spent my entire month's Blood Money, plus what little I had saved up, on a particular poison. Virtually untraceable after the death of the victim. But it would merely feel like he was falling asleep. There would be no pain. No fear. He deserved that much courtesy.

He didn't deserve to die… But I had to kill him. And so I did.

When I was ordered to kill Giovanni Bush, the Vice-Foreign Minister's main opposition to her election to the post of Foreign Minister, I still had some of the drug left over. He hadn't deserved death, either.

He had had big plans. The rejuvenation of L2. To free it from it's sordid past and bring it into a bright new era. I was condemning millions of lives, if not a hundred million, with his death… But I obeyed. For four lives who meant more to me than anything else, I obeyed.

The attempted assassination of Relena was hard for me to do. For one thing Heero was standing right next to her on the podium where she was due to give a speech to a graduating class of university students. One slip of the gun, and I could very well end his life. One slip either way. If I accidentally killed Heero then what was I doing? If I accidentally killed Relena, then the others in the Conspiracy would exact revenge for her. The penalty would be greater than I could afford.

Of course Heero stood beside Relena. The Vice-Foreign Minister had kept me updated on their blossoming romance. Apparently Heero was slowing starting to come out of his armour and accept emotions. Though he did not yet feel he was ready for a permanent relationship, he was looking into a long-term one with Relena.

All the information was backed up by the photographs that the tabloids and magazines splashed across their covers. Relena and Heero going to Premiers. Relena and Heero attending Charity Balls. Relena and Heero going shopping. Relena and Heero doing normal everyday 'couple' activities. Relena and Heero. Relena and Heero.

The pictures and descriptions always brought a funny feeling to my chest. I didn't understand it. I should be happy. Right? After all Heero was 'in love'. I should be happy that _he_ was happy. Even if I wasn't there to see it. Right?

That was what had made Sister Helen happy… That _I_ was happy.

That was how it was supposed to work… Right?

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The shooting of Relena Darlin became front page news. Her narrow escape from an assassin was published everywhere. The Vice-Foreign Minster became the Foreign Minster by a landslide.

But they never found the shooter.

In the Press it was compared to the 'Grassy Knoll'. The JFK assassination. Unsolvable. A Conspiracy at the highest level. I almost laughed at how true the reports in the tabloids were compared to the main-stream newspapers. For it was a conspiracy at the highest level. Only they were the victims. An elaborate forgery. A magnificently staged play.

I had had to run away quickly. I didn't want the Perfect Soldier on my tail. Never mind the Dragon I had seen moving among the Preventers.

The Conspiracy had provided the gun. I don't know how. But it couldn't be traced back to me. And therefore the Conspiracy.

I had kept my family safe.

It was about during this time that I found myself sleeping on the streets again. Unwilling to break into offices or warehouses for fear of being detected. Most shelters for the homeless would try and divert me towards children's charities for help. I still looked about fifteen. Unless you looked at my eyes apparently. One crazy old woman told me that my eyes were too old. Too sad.

When I heard about Wufei's upcoming wedding, I was happy for him. Sally is a wonderful person. She also has enough fire in her to be an equal partner in a relationship with Wufei. It was what Fei had always needed. Someone to whack him over the head and tell him he's being an idiot when he is. But it had to be someone he Respects. I can't do it. And I don't know how, but Sal had his Respect.

The announcements for Wufei and Sally's wedding were in every newspaper in the Sphere. Almost as if they were trying to tell _me_ as well. But that was just fanciful thinking on my part.

The Foreign Minister had told me. The only Pilot still actively searching for me was little Quatre. My baby brother. He was the only one who wanted me back.

They weren't trying to contact me. But I would take advantage of the opportunity they had presented.

It was cold on the rooftop in the snow. I didn't have enough layers of clothes, really. But I didn't care.

I had brought popcorn. Someone had told me once that it was an acceptable substitute for confetti and rice. But the snow made it damp… So why waste it? Food is food.

It probably wasn't the level of reverence that Wufei would have wanted. But I was sitting on a nearby rooftop watching through binoculars…. So why shouldn't I eat it? And act like I was watching a movie at home?

I didn't just watch the ceremony. My eyes kept on flicking back to the others… The other Pilots.

Heero was serving as Wufei's best man. Not unexpected, everyone had heard of Une's pair of terriers. He had grown tall. Nearly six foot, by my guess. How close I was I don't know. He'd also filled out. He was an imposing figure. I could fully understand why witness and suspects would fear him. His glare had been daunting enough on a teenager's face.

Wufei was similarly imposing. A little shorter than Heero and maybe a little less well built. Then again Heero's fighting style had always been strength over speed, while Fei's favoured speed and lighting fast, accurate strikes.

Quatre and Trowa were sitting together. Cat had grown a fair bit. If he _wasn't_ six foot plus, I would eat my hat. His face had thinned out slightly, losing the baby-fat. But it was no less charming. He had a devastatingly innocent smile, still.

Trowa had had a growth spurt. Not that he had needed one in the first place! But he'd still had one. He could play pro-basketball; easy.

They were all together. And they were all happy. Although Heero's eyes kept on flicking to the door. I guessed that Relena had been invited and had yet to show. And Heero was worried about her.

I had no fear that Quatre's 'Space-Heart' would detect me. Normally I would of. I had deliberately steered clear of Quatre, because of it. But with all the love and happiness there was in that room, he wouldn't be able to pick me out individually. I was far enough away.

I cheered when Wufei and Sally kissed for the first time as husband and wife.

"That's how you do it, Wuffers. You hang onto her."

A tiny traitorous part of me pointed out that Sally didn't look at Wufei they way Relena looked at Heero. And Wufei didn't look at Sally they way Heero looked at Relena.

Maybe Heero wasn't in love with Relena, the part whispered. I quashed it ruthlessly. It didn't matter if they were or not; I had to keep the others safe.

And Relena wouldn't lie.

They were in love. And that was all there was to it.

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I knew the man was an undercover cop. I knew it and yet I still killed him. I happened in my sixth year.

He was working in the camp of a slave-running Lady, who wished to expand into drugs. The Lady and her top Generals were my targets.

I wasn't the only one who knew of Nelson Lui's true loyalty. You see, I never would have found out, had the Lady not found out first.

Nelson was trapped in one of the rooms, battered and beaten. An inch from a very long, very slow death. I couldn't have rescued him if I tried.

"You're dying." I whispered.

"I know," He growled, "Come to gloat?"

"No." I shook my head, "Come to tell you that I'm here to take her down."

"Are you with the Preventers? Can you get me medical help? We can pool our intel."

"No. He's not going to trial. I'm here to Take. Her. Down."

"You from another gang?"

"No." I seemed to be using that word a lot, "Just a guy with no other options. I'm sorry. But you probably wouldn't survive even with the best medical help around. And you definitely wouldn't survive long enough to get there. I'm so sorry."

"Then why are you here?"

"To give you a choice. I'm going to make the cooking process have a little 'accident'. An odourless and invisible gas will spread throughout the complex, which, as you know, only holds yourself, the Lady and her Generals at the moment… Due to a little distraction I arranged. The gas will kill everyone who inhales it. It'll be quick, but it won't be pleasant.

"I managed to snitch some of the heroin. I can make it so that you won't feel a thing. I'll make it so that it is obvious that you weren't willing. It won't tarnish your name. It's your choice."

"Why?" He looked confused, "Why are you giving me this choice?"

"Because I never wanted to kill an innocent," I shrugged, "And I'm finding that sometimes I've got no choice. But I won't make them suffer. What's your choice?"

"Gods!" Lui looked at me for the first time. I mean _really_ looked at me. "You're just a kid! How'd you get into this?"

"No choice," I replied, "They're threatening something I won't let harm come to."

"It's okay, kid." Lui smiled slightly, "I understand. I'll take the drug. Even if I was in hospital and dying, they'd give me something to take the edge off the pain. Right? Just promise me you that you'll get them?"

"I promise." I nodded.

"I would ask you to tell my wife and kids I love them," Lui told me, as I inserted the needle, "But I doubt you'll ever see them."

"I'm so sorry." I murmured, as Lui fell into a painless sleep.

He never woke up. My little 'accident' happened about fifteen minutes later.

I had also, as ordered, stolen the money from the hidden safe. I faithfully delivered ninety percent of it to the Conspirators, almost immediately, though I told them it was a hundred percent. My little rebellion. Ten percent I hid, and hand-delivered to the house of Nelson Lui's family. To see them through the bad times. I also included a note:

"He loved you. I'm so sorry."

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About two months after that, I found that the Blood Money was too small for me to survive on. It'd been steadily decreasing for about two years. But I had never envisioned a time when it'd be too small for me buy food. I guessed I had just gotten used to it being there. That made me feel worse. I should _not_ have gotten used to living off Blood Money.

When I inquired, I had been informed that things were tight. They couldn't manage to divert more funds my way.

That was pure bull and we all knew it.

I think I know what happened. They had gotten used to having a Hired Killer on their payroll. One who would do whatever they asked. A Problem-Fixer. One who was working to protect those he cared for. Then they had decided to see just how little money they actually needed to spend to keep me alive.

I refused to steal until I had nothing to sell that I wouldn't need. I also wouldn't sell myself. Solo's lesson would not be broken. Not by me.

That left me with very few things to sell. My clothes wouldn't be worth anything. My weapons were needed. I couldn't get rid of the phone.

That only left me with two things to sell. My music player and my laptop.

I chose to sell my music player. But… I couldn't just delete all my music from it. I _needed_ it. The music reminded me of better times. I think I thought that destroying the music would destroy those precious memories. So I found a place to store them.

Quatre had once told me that: 'Without music life would be a mistake'. And so I gave him my music.

Oh, he doesn't know he's got it. I hacked into Winner Industries and hid it on his computer server. A little extra program that I quickly wrote to hide it and my music was safe.

The program is a little work of art, even if I do say so myself. It makes every folder register as slightly bigger than it is. The files haven't expanded in size, but the computer _claims_ they have. Thus the user does not notice that so many bytes are unavailable for use, for apparently no reason. They know what the space is being used for, after all. They can _see_ it.

I'm willing to bet that only a few people in the Sphere, of which Heero is one, could find my music. But they won't. Because they're not _looking_ for it.

Pestilence and Howie managed to build my Buddy using the same principles. No one _knew_ that PeaceMillion existed. So they weren't _looking_ for it.

I knew I would never be able to listen to my music again. I didn't treasure such foolish hopes. I'd given up hoping a long time ago. I'd given up the expectation of ever being happy again.

But I just couldn't bring myself to destroy it. My music. My hope.

A little part of me wanted the others to find my music. So that they would know that I was still alive.

The larger part of me didn't. It was better that they thought I was dead. Alive would give them hope. And unfulfilled hope is eternally painful.

Better that I was believed to be dead. It would hurt them. But the wound would heal.

I sold my music player.

The money didn't last me long. My targets were becoming more frequent.

I still couldn't pay for tickets, so stowing away and working my passage were my only options. Working my passage was the more dangerous of the two. I might be remembered. Or worse yet, recognised.

With increased targets, I required more money for weapons, equipment and bribes. I barely had enough for bribes anymore, even of street-kids. So I went without bribing people for information. I took risks.

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Soon after that, I had a near miss. Quatre made an unscheduled visit to L4.

If you believe the Press, he was looking into the conditions of the various charities he supported on the colonies. But I didn't believe that for one moment.

He was hoping to spot me.

It was a close call. I spotted him and his entourage, before he spotted me. And I split.

I snuck past the Maganacs, who were on the lookout, for me, I presumed. And running security.

Cattie looked well. As did Tro. They were very clearly both in love and happy. I wasn't needed. After all, all the others had happy and healthy relationships or were getting there.

All I could do was ensure their continued long-life and happiness. It still seemed to be a really good deal to me.

They didn't need me.

And I couldn't go back, even if they did.

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Not long after that, I had to sell my laptop. I needed the money. That was a harder sale than my music.

I regularly hacked into the Preventer network, undetected. Heero had locked their system down really tightly, but I still had a few tricks up my sleeves. And I used them to check up on Heero… and Wufei.

The trick was I didn't hack into any confidential personnel files. That would have been _asking_ for them to detect and locate me. Instead I would access the medical status files.

It never gave me much: Active Duty; Desk Duty; Medical Leave; Hospital; Surgery. But I knew if they were alright.

Quatre's health status was splashed across the cover of every tabloid going. I knew if he ever got so much as a cold.

Trowa, being so close to Quatre, was treated in a similar, if less dramatic manner.

But I had no way to tell with the other two, without hacking. And I couldn't do that on a standard computer. Mine had several special programs.

Then you add in the pictures I had on there, and my laptop became a source of comfort to me.

Again, like my music, it reminded me of the good times. I was finding it harder and harder to remember them.

However I didn't have a choice. I added my pictures to the hidden folder on Quatre's mainframe, completely wiped my hard-drive, and sold my laptop.

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It was on L3 that I made my first mistake while not on a Mission.

I had gone to the bar as it had a free buffet… If you brought a drink. Alcohol in nature of course.

I didn't have much money. Even the cash from the laptop hadn't gone far. I could eke out a drink for hours, while I filled up on the food. Hide a few bags on my person, and I might even get to eat two good meals a day for a day or two. I doubted the food would keep much longer.

My mistake? I drank on an empty stomach. Even with the food I was eating, the alcohol started to affect my reaction time. I was slowed.

I was tired. I was worn down. I just wanted to sleep.

The Missions had been getting harder. Une had been setting restrictions on them. Time. Place. Manner. It was getting harder to achieve.

The last few missions, the only reason I had come back at all was the knowledge that if I didn't the others would pay. It would have been so much easier to lie down and never get up again.

I could barely remember the good times at all. Sometimes I think I dreamed of them. But I could never remember the dreams upon waking. But I remembered the nightmares. How was that fair? Oh right, I forgot. I was never meant to be happy. I should have known that. Hadn't I realized that, before? Every time I was happy, it got taken away.

But I was selfish. I would rather have the happy times in my past and make others suffer when I lost them, than not have them at all. I couldn't get rid of that selfishness. I had to make other people suffer, so that I could have a few good memories.

I was following this train of thought as I left the bar. I knew I was being followed. I had seen them eyeing me. I knew that look. It was the same look that the prostitutes get.

I knew what they wanted. I set my trap.

I think I intended to die, taking them with me. But half-way through I found I couldn't go through with it. I had to keep the others safe. It was the only thing that kept me going.

I had _one_ job to do. Keep them safe. I would not fail that. I could not fail that. I could not die. Because I had to keep them safe. They had my loyalty. They had my love. They owned every part of me. And while they may not see me… I would forever watch over them. Their own personal guardian demon.

So I killed the pair of wannabe attackers. But not before one managed to severely wound me.

I staggered out of the alleyway, where I had set my trap.

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It was about two days later when I had a pick-up. I managed to make it to the location on time. Though sheer force of will rather than anything else.

But that doesn't last forever. I collapsed to the ground unconscious, in front of Jun.

When I came round, forcing through the drug in my system, I found myself in a hard bed. Jun sitting not too far from me. I noticed immediately that my chest injury had been treated. My t-shirt had been sacrificed in order to treat me. But my chest was covered by bandages.

"Why?" I asked touching the bandages, "How?"

"I managed to find you a doctor," Jun stated, "One who didn't ask any questions."

So not a licensed one. Or if he had been licensed, he wasn't particularly good.

"Why?" I repeated again.

"Even an attack dog needs to have his injuries treated. Or his Master cannot use him." Jun's voice had no caring in it. It was purely clinical.

That was all I was to him. An attack dog. He didn't need to insult me. He didn't need to hit me. He didn't need to put me down. Because I was already beneath him. He didn't gain anything. He was secure in his position. And he saw no reason to be cruel for cruelty's sake. Unlike the others, whom I swore some of them gained far too much pleasure from the blows they inflicted on me, while teaching me my place, both mental and physical. Despite the fact that I knew my place and they knew it.

Jun left after saying his piece. I felt slightly glad that he had waited until I came around before leaving. Giving me a known face to wake up to. In a strange sort of way, it was comforting seeing him there; even if it was in a dingy little motel room on L3.

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Seven years, three months and two days after I had left I was on L2; passing the Space-Port. I sensed someone was following me, rather than saw them. Despite the exhaustion that was almost constant in my body, my senses were still some of the best around.

I started evasion procedures. Bobbing and weaving through the crowds at first, not trying to make a scene. However when that failed I set out in a full out run. I was one of the fastest people I knew. I doubted they would be able to keep pace for long.

But by the end of three blocks, I knew I hadn't lost them. Whoever this was, they were _good_. I ducked into a nearby building. I reckoned I could lose them on the roof. I knew how to descend fire-escapes faster than should be physically possible. I would be long gone before their feet touched the ground again. After all, they wouldn't be stupid enough to follow me. Who would willingly jump off a twenty story building? Without precautions? Heero not included.

But they caught up. On the seventh floor.

A strong hand grabbed my left wrist, spinning me around, while my cap was dashed from my head with the other hand.

I found myself face to… chest with someone. They were barely even an arm's length away.

I looked upwards, trying to find a face. And up. This guy was tall.

I finally could see a face. And I saw a sight I had believed I would never see again. At least not from that distance.

I should have been looking into a pair of bright green eyes, but the second was covered by bangs of hair. So I could only see one eye.

"Duo." Trowa breathed, a broad smile on his face.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

I know you guys wanted me to go back to the main section of the story, but… my Duo muse appears to have either drugged or knocked the others out. He's also a talkative little brat (and I thought _Trowa_ had a chatty internal monologue!). I'm working through his section as fast as I can. If people could send stuff to wake my other muses up it would be much appreciated. Though please note, Duo's managed to get at least another few chapters written, so unless the others wake up, I'm not shutting him up. Something is better than nothing.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – Sorry, but you're going to have to wait.

Raelyn-Mage – I'm not that old. But thanks for the compliment. *Grins*

Anonymous Void – I apologize, Duo can be pretty demanding when he wants to be. And he wanted his side told. Though I'm nearly there on the writing, so you can look forward to the main plot soon.

Katerina Shinigami – I have Siamese. I'm still not sure which is worse. Their yowl. Or their claws. And cliff-hangers are to be expected.

Arialee – You're welcome.

Wind Dancer1981 – Thanks for the compliment.

Firehedgehog – Thank you for the review.

Hellfire – Tea and cakes much appreciated. Hope you liked this chapter. And Duo thanks you for the hugs.

Leora chan – I'm just about out of Duo's cavernous mind. I'm not sure if Relena and Une being cold was intentional or not. Sometimes my mind works without my brain's permission. And if that made sense… We both have issues. Thanks for the cookies!

Whitetiger1589 – Hope you like this chapter and I hope your holiday was good.

Lilly – You can have it now. Thanks for the review.

Anonymous 25 – Glad you liked it. For an account, go to the top right hand corner and click on 'Sign up'. Everything should be explained from there.

Toraus – Once again, I'm sorry. Duo is a stubborn guy when he gets going. However I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Thank you to all my reviewers.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

I apologize for the late update. Real life and my personal desires clashed last night. I am now preparing for work with less than four hours 'bed-sleep'. Wish me luck!

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Duo's POV – Cont.

"Duo." Trowa breathed, a broad smile on his face.

I had been found. I had broken the deal. I had put the others in danger. If Trowa was there, then there _had_ to be someone else nearby. Who it was, I didn't know. It couldn't be Quatre. That would have been all over the Press. You can't make a secret or surprise visit to L2. Not if you're a public figure. Trowa was just under the radar.

So it had to be Heero or Wufei. That meant Preventers. That meant danger. They could only be a few seconds behind. Maybe a full minute.

All the dangers rushed through my head, as I tried to think of a way out of my predicament.

Another part of me was just staring at Trowa. He looked pleased to see me. His grin was real and grateful. The one eye I could see was filled with joy and delight.

His grip around my wrist was like steel. I couldn't break it if I tried with all my might. But it was also gentle. Not crushing the bones nor bruising the skin. It was far, far gentler than the grips he had used on me while he was undercover.

I couldn't understand why. He had barely done anything and he was already confusing me.

But my fear was the stronger emotion. It started to drown out everything else. I could feel my heart start to beat faster, as I struggled to control my breathing to a regular pace.

"Everyone's been worried about you." Trowa broke the silence. His smile softening slightly, becoming less gleeful and more comforting.

His words brought me out of my trace. I realized that my jaw was open. So I closed it with a snap. My bugged eyes narrowed as I came to a decision about what I had to do.

I had to escape.

I never should have been able to land that blow. Trowa is a far better hand-to-hand fighter than me. And unlike Wufei, he fights dirty. So he would expect a kick to the groin.

But he never saw it coming. And I couldn't understand why.

Trowa fell to his knees, clutching at his groin, releasing me in the same move. His eyes closed in an attempt to prevent the tears in his eyes from falling.

I had reacted on instinct, drawing my gun as Trowa fell to the ground. I aimed it between his eyes.

"Shit!" I swore, realizing what I had done. It wasn't just anger at myself, but also at Trowa. For putting me into this position.

Trowa opened his eyes. For a moment we stared at each other. In Trowa's gaze I saw a strange calmness. A strange acceptance. Not only did he know that he couldn't fight back, but even if he could, I doubt that he would have hurt me.

"Shit!" I repeated. "Trowa!"

I put a lot of emotion into his name. Exasperation being the main one. Why couldn't he have just walked away? Why had he decided to follow me? It wasn't as if he wanted me back. He had put the others into so much trouble it wasn't true. If the Conspirators found out about this… the whole arrangement could go South.

Technically I suppose I should have killed him. But even before I said his name, I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't go through with that. For one thing I had spent seven years trying to keep him alive. I wasn't going to be the one to break my streak.

Secondly, he was Quatre's lover. I wouldn't do anything to unnecessarily upset Quatre. I hated seeing him cry. Even if I wouldn't see it myself, I didn't want to make him cry. I knew he had probably cried when I went missing. But I didn't deserve his tears. Why should a Prince of Arabia cry over a poor beggar-boy?

I could see the naked hurt in Trowa's eyes as he matched my gaze. Alongside the total and heartfelt confusion.

He didn't understand. How could he? He didn't know what was out there. Didn't know what the problem was.

I reckon that he was feeling the way I had during the Rebellion, when I had realized that it was Trowa in the other suit. Confusion, hurt, a touch of anger and overwhelming betrayal.

I already knew I couldn't kill him. But I couldn't let him catch me either.

My gun spun in my hand, so that I could firmly rap the butt on Trowa's head, closing those surprisingly expressive eyes. Well, I had assumed that the second eye was just as expressive as its partner, but I couldn't see it through the heavy bang of hair.

Trowa's long frame fell to spread across the floor. I had to know who he was with. I needed to know the level of danger I had put them in by being spotted. It was all my fault. I had been seen. And thus the sequence of events had occurred. It was _my_ fault. Not Trowa's. It could never be the others' fault.

I relaxed slightly, when the first thing I found in Trowa's pockets was a flyer for a circus. Cathy. He was going to visit or had visited Cathy.

Thus it would be unlikely that Heero would be present on the colony. Or Wufei.

The single return ticket dated for that day that I also found in his pocket, meant I could relax even more.

No one would be expecting Trowa to turn up anywhere for a while. He had left Cathy. And Quatre wasn't around. The blond was probably on Earth somewhere. He wouldn't be expecting Trowa for another four… five hours. The time it would take for a shuttle to reach Earth, at our current position in the sky.

Then there was only the problem of what to do with Trowa. I had already decided that I couldn't kill him. That left me with three options.

One: Leave him. Run fast. Hide. He would come around and alert the others. But if I got off the colony quickly, they would never find me again. They would be hunting for a ghost.

Two: Find a hotel or motel room and tie Trowa up in it. And then run. He would escape quickly enough, but I would be long gone by then. It would give me a little more time.

Three: Restrain him and take him with me. If only for a little while.

My main problem was that I had a pick-up on that colony in six hours, minimum.

Therefore I couldn't leave Trowa on the ground, while I legged it. Six hours was more than enough time for Quatre to mobilise the Maganacs and put the colony on lock-down. That would make getting off the colony _really_ difficult. If not impossible. Never underestimate the ability of a Maganac asked to perform a small favour for their Master Quatre.

And I couldn't leave Trowa restrained in a rented room. On L2, the policy is pay before you use. And I could only afford the really, _really_ cheap rooms. If I could afford one at all.

Those weren't safe. They could easily be broken into and were on a regular basis, by desperate thieves. Leaving a restrained Trowa in any one of them could lead to him being beaten up or killed. And those were possibly the better outcomes. I was, after all, on my home colony. While L2 may be "Hell in the Heavens", my home colony is the Ninth Circle of that Hell.

I would not jeopardise Trowa's safety.

Therefore he had to come with me. It would be a huge risk, but there were _no_ other viable options. At least none I could think of.

I started going through a mental checklist. I would need some way of restraining him; some caffeine and sugar; and a vehicle.

The vehicle was important. If Trowa walked with me, he could easily take me down. And the restraints would be noticed. I needed a form of reliable transport that was common and private. So it had to be a car or a van.

I checked Trowa's pulse. I think I had done it earlier, while checking his pockets, but it had been so instinctive that I had no memory of the action. I needed caffeine fast. I was so tired.

The pulse was strong and steady, so he wasn't badly injured. Using a pressure point technique that Heero had once taught me, and knocked me out with on at least a dozen occasions, five of those during the demonstration, I ensured that Trowa would stay unconscious for another twenty minutes, at least.

I carried Trowa down the stairs slowly. No one uses the lifts in standard residential accommodation on L2. Even in the nicer areas, like we were in at the time. You can never guarantee either their safety or reliability. So it took me a good long time. I even had to use the technique again.

Trowa may be tall and not that broad, but never let it be said that he is light. The guy is all muscle. It took nearly every ounce of my strength to carry him.

No one said anything. No one would have ever stated that they saw anything. "See no evil. Hear no evil.' That's practically a way of life on L2.

I picked a car at random from the residents' car-park. It would be a while before it was noticed, I guessed. And even longer before police started looking for it. I would dump it in a nice neighbourhood, where it would be less likely to get stolen again, when I was finished. All the police would do once they found it would be to return it. They didn't have time to investigate a small robbery like that.

Once I had Trowa in the passenger's seat I did a quick raid on the nearest corner shop. Confident that the repetition of the technique I had just used would give me enough time.

I grabbed a half dozen energy drinks and candy bars, as well as a roll of duct tape.

I confess that I didn't pay for anything. Nor was I called on this fact. Then again, the fact that I stole them from the stock room rather than the main shop probably had something to do with it. Ever since my laptop money had run out, I had been forced back to my street-days. Living on what I could beg or steal to survive. Though I tried not to take too much from any one person.

Securing Trowa in the seat required thought. The tape would have to be removed eventually, and I didn't want to cause him any more harm. So I raided his bag and wrapped a t-shirt around each of his arms. The tape was wrapped tightly over these, successfully restraining him, but without the tape touching his skin. I bound his ankles together and his knees. Around his torso I used two bands of tape, one near his stomach, which also trapped his lower arms. The other was more around his chest and would stop him from sitting up.

It may seem like overkill to most people, but I knew that Trowa could probably have escaped from less.

During these motions, I also located Trowa's mobile phone. It wasn't a standard model. Probably a prototype of some kind. I turned it off, and then I stuck a small disruptor to the casing. Trowa wouldn't even notice it. But it would do its job. It would stop any GPS tracking from occurring.

As I started the car, I threw my third empty bottle into the back seat. I had finished the first while walking back to the car. The second while tying Trowa up. All three now rattled slightly as the car moved. I munched on a candy bar.

I had knocked Trowa out again. I didn't want to deal with him. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to hear his accusations. His reprimands. I didn't want him to hate me. As I knew he would.

I wanted to pretend that he and the others cared for me. That they loved me. That they missed me. That they were looking for me.

I knew they weren't. But could I just pretend? Just for a little while. My delusion didn't hurt anyone other than me.

Somehow I managed to finish off two more energy drinks in the twenty minutes reprieve I had, before Trowa woke up. The last, I placed within easy reach.

I had started a new candy bar and was swearing up a storm, when Trowa twitched. I wasn't even cursing anything in particular, just venting my anger at myself and the situation really.

It wasn't like the situation was Trowa's fault. I had just gotten too lax. I was obviously not doing as well as I should have been. I was to blame.

"Sorry, Tro." I sighed when I knew that he was awake, "But I can't take risks."

I glanced at him, trying to read his emotions. But I couldn't. His face was too soft. Too kind. I had to be misreading him. He hated me. I had hurt Quatre. I had hurt the one he loved. He had to hate me. Didn't he?

"You used to trust me." He chided me. But his voice was strange. Not accusatory, just chiding.

"Things change Trowa." I retorted, "I can't trust anyone."

Oh, how true. I couldn't trust my friends. And I knew I could trust my Puppet-Masters. After all the Sphere saw them as paragons of virtue. I knew the truth. They would more than willingly kill for what they wanted… As long as they didn't have to get their hands dirty. I couldn't trust anyone.

"Heero misses you. So do all of us."

Now why did he have to say that? It was a lie. They weren't looking for me. They didn't want me around. They didn't need me around. They had _always_ made that clear. Apart from Quatre. And that guy is so nice that he wouldn't yell at anyone. Even when he wanted to.

"Shut up Trowa," I didn't want to hear his lies, "You have no idea what is going on. You have no fucking idea how bad you could make the current situation."

And he didn't. One of my Puppet-Masters had a habit of watching me for over two hours before the pick-up. If it was Tanner, then I had just killed Quatre. But there was a good chance it wasn't. He had done the last month's pick-up.

"Why don't you explain?" Trowa's voice was still non-hostile, "If I understand, maybe I can help. Just like in the War."

"It's not the fucking War anymore, Tro." I pointed out, "Things have changed."

"Your height obviously not one of those things." The tone was teasing. Was Trowa _trying_ to confuse me? He hated me. Didn't he? At the very least he was indifferent. Wasn't he?

"How long before your braid is longer than you are tall?"

"Trowa I do not have time for damn jokes about my height!" I covered my confusion with false anger, "You have no idea how dangerous this is! So… Shut the HELL up!"

Silence. Blessed silence. Now that I was more used to. My breathing steadied. My posture relaxed slightly. Maybe… Just maybe we could come through it alright. I just needed to get everything sorted out. To align all my thoughts. To be able to think everything thing through.

If I could do that. If I had time to sort myself out. We would be alright.

"Heero's torn between killing you and hugging you when he finds you." Trowa's voice broke my concentration.

"I told you to shut up." I didn't have time for distractions. I had to sort everything out. But my brain wasn't working. My thoughts were all fuzzy and disjointed.

It had been like that for a while. Several months I think. I just couldn't concentrate anymore. Not for long periods. Thinking was getting harder by the day. I couldn't remember when my thoughts were clear. But they must have been once.

"Can you blame him?" Trowa interrupted me again, "Your leaving hurt him. He searched for you non-stop for a week. Then he wouldn't come out of his room for another week. He got so depressed we thought he would commit suicide…"

"I said shut up!" I demanded.

I didn't need his lies. I didn't want his lies. I didn't want him confirming the delusions in my head. It was hard enough not going back at the worst of times. I didn't need the belief that I would be welcomed back with open arms.

It wouldn't happen. I knew that.

I turned on the car radio. Every time Trowa's voice broke through my concentration, I turned the volume up. Desperately trying to drown Trowa out. I didn't need his lies.

But oh how I wanted them. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to trust him. I wanted to believe that all my little dreams about a family that loved me were true. But they couldn't be. Because Duo _never_ gets what he wants. I never get to be happy, long term. There is no happily ever after for me.

I'm not a Prince. I don't get a happily ever after.

I kept on glancing at Trowa, trying to burn his face in my memory forever. Since I had sold my laptop, I had only the few photographs in my safe-box to remind me of the others. And I didn't dare open that very often. Only when I felt completely safe and secure, would I even think about it.

I didn't feel safe and secure very often. If at all.

My memories of the others had faded slightly. My recollection failing me. Their faces blurring.

I was in a whirlwind of emotions. I couldn't figure out how I felt about the situation. I didn't know what to feel. Never mind what to think. I didn't understand why. My thoughts were disjointed. Nothing connecting.

The only thing I was sure on was that Trowa was lying. Heero didn't care about me. Hell, the guy didn't even like me. So why would he get depressed. He had his Princess. He had his Relena. Why would he be trying to find me?

I threw the newly emptied bottle into the backseat and wished that I could throw away my emotional rollercoaster just as easily. The ironic thing was that earlier the details of what I had needed to do were so clear and simple… And second nature.

While I was driving the car, I was finding it more and more difficult to concentrate on simply staying in lane.

I was so tired.

I had been planning on taking a long sleep before the pick-up. Not that long by most people's standards. Certainly no more than an hour. Then again, I could barely even sleep that long. Even when I was perfectly safe.

I just wanted to sleep. But I couldn't. I wanted to rest. I wanted to lie down. I wanted to surrender. I wanted to die.

But I couldn't. For the others' sake I had to continue. I had to survive. For their lives I had to live. It was the only thing that was bringing me back alive from my missions. The knowledge of the penalty that would be exacted if I failed. I couldn't fail. For their sakes.

They were the reason I didn't lie down. They were the reason I returned. They were my strength, when I was weak. They were my light in the darkness. They were my angels. My family.

But they were never meant to see me. Never meant to see what I had become. What I had been. What I had _always_ been.

The light never sees the darkness. The darkness flees from its presence. And that is what I should be… the darkness.

I drove for the full six hours. I didn't have much other choice. Even on L2 I would raise suspicion if someone saw my passenger.

But with the six hours gone, I could free Trowa, do the pick-up and run for it. I would be safe. There was no way any back up could get to him, before I left the colony.

I could still keep the others safe. I could keep them all safe.

However, I would first need fuel for the car. And I needed something to keep myself awake. I was practically asleep at the wheel.

I pulled into a fuel station. I parked the car, before I turned to Trowa.

"Can I trust you?" I could barely get out my words. My throat was inexplicably clogged with something.

"There was a time when you wouldn't have even needed to ask that." Trowa smiled gently at me. He wasn't going to stop pretending I realized.

"Things change." I muttered, "Look. I'm not asking much. I need fuel. For me and the car. I can't leave you tied up like this. Someone would notice. If I cut you free, can I trust you not to try and attack me? Just let me go. I'll leave you here. You can go wherever you need to. Just promise me you'll let me go."

That was all I needed. Fuel and a promise that he'd let me go. He wouldn't make a false promise. Even if he would clearly willingly lie to me.

"I can't do that, Duo." His voice was firm. But _still_ not unkind. What was he trying to do? I couldn't understand him.

"Not only would Quatre tear me a new one… But my conscious wouldn't let me either." He finished his statement.

"Then we have a problem." I whispered. A large part of me wanted to beg Trowa to leave. Just to walk away. If he stayed… his life was in danger.

"I can promise that I won't try to harm you," Trowa's voice was still calm. Still kind. Still non-accusatory. He was confusing me. "I can promise that I won't try to drag you anywhere, at this point in time. But you have to take me where you're going."

"I c…can't…" Exhaustion and confusion were quickly robbing me of my negotiation skills. I just couldn't find the strength within me to be more forceful.

"Duo," His voice changed. That I was expecting. But I had been expecting it to become harsher. More confrontational. Instead it became even softer. A feat I could not comprehend. "Can you honestly tell me that you don't need someone to watch your back? Let me watch it for you. Let me help you."

His voice was bringing back memories that I had almost forgotten. His voice sounded almost exactly like Father Maxwell's. Only less aged. But with the good memories of Father Maxwell, came the memories of a burning building and dead bodies. All the grief and the loss, like a new wound. It hurt. And I couldn't suppress the memories.

"Tro… I… can't." I managed to get out, through a throat choked with grief.

"Just take me where you're going." Trowa's voice was like a balm on my soul, "I won't harm you. Come on. You trusted me when I was undercover in OZ. You trusted me then, even when Wufei didn't. Trust me now."

"Alright." I couldn't argue with him. I didn't even want to. It was just so easy to hand over control to someone else. Someone I trusted. Even if I pretended I didn't. I just wanted to sleep. I didn't want to have to think anymore. My mind had raised the white flag of surrender to Trowa.

Trowa was in control. I didn't even care.

"Don't call anyone?" I begged once I cut him free. He peeled the tape off him as I spoke.

"Not until you let me." He pulled me into a sort of one armed hug, "It's alright. I'm not mad."

It had been so long since someone had touched me without intending violence. Seven years, three months and two days, to be precise. And now Trowa was hugging me.

And his words… How had he known exactly what to say? How?

The little child inside of me wanted to ball his eyes out, climb into Trowa's lap and cling onto him tightly. So did most of the rest of me.

It took every ounce of my strength. Every bit of will power in my body to pull away from that hug. And my body longed to return to his embrace. It wasn't a lover's hug. Just a hug between brothers. But it had been something my body had unconsciously craved for so long.

And I couldn't let myself give in to it.

"Need fuel." I scrambled away from Trowa. Every fibre in my body begged… pleaded… cried out to me to go back to the taller boy… man. But I couldn't let myself.

I had to stay strong. I had to keep my resolve. I had to… I had to… I had… to…

I had to keep doing what I was doing.

I had no choice.

I had to do what I did. My loyalty demanded it of me. I had made a promise not to allow the others to come to harm.

They would not be harmed on my watch.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Raelyn-Mage – I know what you meant. And thanks for the compliment. I'm glad you like it.

Firehedgehog – Glad to hear.

Anonymous 25 – I think I'll try my own way. Which is all set out in my head. Paper… well that'll take a little longer.

PainfullyPassive – I'll get to the punishments… Sooner or later.

Whitetiger1589 – Yep! Duo hugs all round. Nice to know I can please you.

WindWraith – Damn! Your mind must be a bit like mine. I _always_ try and see where someone else's story could go. Even sometimes work it out in my head. Drives some people I know crazy. But at the moment that's all you have. Random speculation… I am saying nothing! Nothing, I tell you!

Arialee – You're welcome.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – I don't think so. This section needed to be written. But I don't think the others do.

Toraus – Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Leora chan – Nice to know you're enjoying it. *Looks at the other pilots and frowns* Errr, Leora chan? What's this glittery dust? Oh! Cookies! *Gets distracted by food*

Hellfire – Well, Duo's enjoying the hot chocolate and waffles. And I love my ho-ho. But the others aren't waking up. Though Wufei _is_ moving slightly.

Wind Dancer1981 – I thank, thee, most graciously.

Katerina Shinigami – Glad you enjoyed. Cliffies are evil… But _fun_! *Smirks*

Lilly – Thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked it.

Vampire Queen – I'm glad you are enjoying this. And I hope to continue to please you.

Thank you to all my reviewers.


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

I apologize for the late update. Real life and my personal desires clashed last night. I am now preparing for work with less than four hours 'bed-sleep'. Wish me luck!

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Duo's POV – Cont.

While I was putting fuel into the car, Trowa entered the shop. To go to the toilet I assumed. I should have just driven away. Run away even. But somehow I just couldn't. I physically couldn't just leave it like that.

Part of my mind tried to rationalize it as logical. Trowa didn't know where he was. He could be attacked by some desperate gang. He might need back-up. He could get hurt. And that wasn't allowed.

It was all Bull. Trowa would be able to get somewhere safe. Very few people would ever attack him. Even _if_ they were desperate. And even if they did, Trowa is a Pilot. The same as me. He could look after himself.

The truth was I just didn't want to be alone. I wanted to hang on tightly to the little bit of comfort he was giving me. Until I would have to let it go.

I was like a drug addict, who had been clean for years, finally getting another dose. No one stops being an addict. Once you're hooked, even if you give it up, you're an addict. Just sometimes one who hasn't had a hit in years.

And Trowa was being the most perfect, blissful high I had had in _years_.

I would have to give it up again, later. But I would be selfish. I would hold on to that high, for as long as I could.

Trowa really wasn't helping my resolve. Who knew that Mister Silent, himself, could be so warm? So open? So talkative?

It was as if Heero had suddenly started telling jokes. Or Wufei had chosen to start flower arranging and baking.

The concept was completely alien to me. It didn't make sense.

The fuel tank was full, so I entered the shop. If you want to stay under the radar on L2, you pay for your fuel. Not paying and simply driving away is a quicker way to get the police down on you than stealing a car. Sounds fucking stupid, I know. But fuel can cause major damage to the colony in the wrong place. Cars are only possessions. L2 is screwed up. And the place _screws_ you up.

I started to load a basket with energy and protein drinks, as well as protein and candy bars. I don't know what I was thinking. It wasn't as if I had the money. I would have to steal the cash out the till, without the cashier noticing. Or, more importantly, Trowa.

As if thinking of the man made him appear, I jumped as Trowa moved out of a blind spot. He placed a pint of milk, a carton of orange juice and two cheese sandwiches into the basket.

"You need to eat better." He chided.

No accusations. No reprimands. No derisive snorts. No: 'you'll kill yourself with that'. No: 'you are lacking proper nutrition'. No: 'didn't your mother teach you to eat your greens, Maxwell?'.

Just a gentle remark. And since when did Trowa care? Mr Stoic. Mr Silent. Where was the guy who had been going to leave me on the Colony while he helped save the Sphere during the Rebellion? The guy who said: 'I wasn't waiting for you'. The guy who knew I was there. Who knew I could and _would_ escape. Who knew I was on my way. And yet he still would have left me. It takes a good thirty minutes to warm up a shuttle. He had just knocked out the guy intending to use the one he used. I would have been late to the fight.

And what does that say? That he was willing to leave me. At a time when they needed all the help they could get.

It told me that he didn't think I was worth having along. That he thought I would just get in the way.

But I didn't blame him. And it didn't matter what he thought of my fighting skills. I cared for him. He was my brother. And so I would do whatever was necessary to keep him and the others safe. I would pay any price.

"I'll get this." Trowa declared reaching for his wallet.

The motion made me realize that his wallet was in my pocket. I didn't even remember stealing it.

I was so ashamed. I had sunk so low that I would even steal from family. From those I was meant to be protecting. Trowa would hate me. And rightfully so. Stealing from Trowa should have _never_ been an option.

Because despite how little we had interacted. Despite how little we had in common. Despite how he may view my skills… I still longed for Trowa's respect. Just as I longed for the respect of the others.

They were the only people in the entire Sphere whose opinions of me mattered in my eyes.

"Should have guessed." Trowa smiled at me, as I handed it over. No anger. No hate. No recriminations. It was almost as if he understood that I was embarrassed.

I started to panic when he pulled out a credit card. Quatre would be searching for Trowa by now. The card would raise a flag… Quatre would be able to find us.

"It's mine." Trowa showed me the card, with the false name on it, "I have a few accounts that Quatre doesn't know about. He won't track this."

I could breathe again. I don't know why, but I trusted Trowa not to be lying when he said that. Although I didn't trust what he said about the others.

I wondered why Trowa would need hidden accounts. But I quickly dropped the train of thought. Partly because if I wondered I would ask. And if I asked, I wasn't sure that I could stay uninvolved. I wasn't sure that I would be able to walk away. Mainly, because I could barely think straight anymore.

Trowa didn't speak again until we got to the car.

"I could drive." He suggested.

"No." I drew the line. I would not surrender that. There was no guarantee that Trowa would take me where I needed to go. I trusted him. But not that far. I _couldn't_ trust him that far. It was too much of a risk.

"Okay," He conceded, surprise in his voice, "But you are drinking the juice, the milk and eating one of the sandwiches. Now."

I had not been expecting that. I heard the words. I understood them. But I could not comprehend them coming from Trowa. It was as if they didn't compute.

"You're not looking after yourself properly." Trowa didn't wait for me to argue with him, "While I am with you, you will eat properly."

I couldn't understand what I was hearing. I understood the words. I knew their meanings. But… it was as if they didn't mean the same thing anymore.

I didn't start obeying, until Trowa placed a sandwich in my hands. I quickly followed it with the milk and orange juice, Trowa had brought. Then I started to drink what I _really_ needed. Coffee. Or more precisely caffeine. I gulped it down as quickly as possible, not missing the confused look in Trowa's one visible eye.

Then I started the car. My hands latched around the wheel as if daring Trowa to try and wrestle control from me. He was giving me slightly nervous looks. But they were more… as if he was worried _for_ me, rather than scared _of_ me.

"Where are we going?" He asked after a short while.

"I can't tell you." I murmured. Exhaustion robbing me of my tact and evasion skills.

"Why did you leave?"

"I can't tell you."

"That's okay."

Trowa stopped trying to talk to me. It was comforting. More familiar. Easier. But I couldn't keep quiet forever. Not with old habits that I had thought long forgotten returning.

"How are they?"

"Worried. Just as I am. We're worried about you." I had to give him points for his acting ability. He even _sounded_ like he was telling the truth.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not." He argued, "But apart from missing you. Everyone is fine. And I mean that honestly. Not like you do."

"I'm fine." I snarled. I could feel the caffeine running through my system now. Things would be easier. Caffeine always made things easier.

"Duo," He sounded worried and exasperated, "Your hands are shaking."

"What do you know?" I stared at my shaking hand, as if it belonged to someone else. "I must be low on the caffeine."

"No," He was definitely slightly exasperated. "I think you've overdosed."

"No." There was no such thing as a caffeine overdose. Just those who couldn't deal with the buzz. "I just need more."

"Duo!" Yep, definitely annoyed as well. "You need help."

I stopped the car.

"Get out." I ordered.

"Duo, I'm coming with you."

"Not this last little bit. If anyone other than me turns up… they'll kill the spares. They need me. They don't need you."

I was only a few minutes drive from the pick-up. I couldn't let Trowa come the last bit. They would kill him. I had no doubt about it. And if I was lucky… they would let it stand at that. When lucky is the death of _only_ one of your friends… Then it's time to stop playing the game. Or in this case… Don't take the risk.

"Promise me you'll come back and pick me up?" Trowa countered my demand, "We haven't finished talking."

"I can't." I would have to run after the pick-up. I knew that going back to find Trowa would be as much of a risk as missing the pick-up.

"Promise me or I don't get out the car." Again he was telling the truth. He was taking a risk, but he was also playing on my weakness… On my Price. It almost made me think that he knew what my Price was. But he couldn't… Could he?

"I'll come back." I surrendered again.

"In under an hour," Trowa insisted, "Or I get Quatre to shut down this colony and flood it with Maganacs."

"This is L2." I argued, "Ali-Baba and the forty thieves won't find me."

"No," Trowa shrugged, "But it will it make it much more difficult for you to leave."

Now that was true. The Maganacs may be easy to spot, but they are ruthlessly efficient and fiercely loyal. I also think they have a slight personal grudge against me, because of that nickname. It was funny at the time. I would be slowed down by the necessary evasion.

"Give me your phone." I could at least make sure that he didn't get too close… That he didn't see anything _else_ he shouldn't.

"Why?" I couldn't read his emotions. Trowa always did have a brilliant mask.

"So you can't follow me." I never lie after all, "Phone Quatre. I'm sure he's worried about you. There's a payphone, just down the street. Don't mention me."

"Why not?"

"You can't. You just can't." Tell Quatre and the others will find out. They find out and Quatre dies. At the very _least_! But it would take to long to explain. I was going to be pushing it on the time as it was.

"Duo," He laid his hand on me, and I had to pull myself away from him again. For fear that I would completely surrender. "I won't, if you don't want me to. But you have to pick me up and talk to me. I think we deserve an explanation."

"Don't tell anyone I'm here." I demanded.

"I swear." He passed me his phone willingly, "You have an hour, before I break it."

"Back in fifteen." A little bit of the person I had been peaked through for a fraction of a moment. I didn't miss the smile in Trowa's eyes as he saw him.

I drove away. I was only two minutes from the pick-up point.

Stone was awaiting me. No words were spoken. She had always been one of the less vocal members. At least where it came to me. I got the feeling that she didn't like speaking to the hired help.

However she didn't mind hitting me. Not that much though. Toshino always left me lying on the ground. The wind knocked out of me. Relena would get her body-guard to attack me; the guy was a powerhouse, he usually left me with large bruises. Yet never a broken bone. Though I still preferred both of them to Tanner. That guy would feel me up. It was only Jun who kept him from physically taking what he wanted. If I remembered correctly Jun's quote was:

"You do not perform carnal acts with your attack dog."

Jun always referred to me as an attack dog. I think he even thought of me that way. It was degrading. But he did at least care for me, in some strange way. Of all the conspirators, he was the one I hated the least.

The first few blows were tolerable. Then she hit my chest wound. Damn it! That thing wasn't fully healed yet. It still ached slightly. Then again, so did a lot of my old injuries.

"Pathetic!" Stone spat on me as she left. I had the Blood Money cradled to my chest.

It took me a few minutes to pull myself to my shaky feet. From there to the car, took a minute or two. Then I drove back to Trowa. I had said I would, after all. And I don't lie.

Trowa slipped gracefully into the car.

"Didn't take you that long." He spoke casually, "What were you up to?"

"I had to pick something up." I was careful with my words.

"Couldn't you wait?" There was curiosity in his tone.

"I had to be on time." My voice was almost sub-audible, "Or there would be consequences. I was pushing it as it was."

That was true. I had been about two minutes away from the deadline. I could _not_ miss a pick-up. It was part of the agreement. I was to come when called. No excuses.

"Consequences?" I should have guessed that Trowa would be able to hear me.

"I can't say." I seemed to be using that phrase a great deal.

"This isn't the place for this," Trowa decided, "You need to be able to pay attention to the road. Find somewhere to park, where we can talk."

That didn't need me to answer. Didn't need me to reply. All I had to do was agree. And so I did.

And it was so _easy_. It shouldn't have been. After seven years, it shouldn't have been _that_ easy just to hand control over to someone else. Even if they were a Pilot. Even if they were my family. I shouldn't have just obeyed.

But it was simpler to obey. Simpler to let Trowa have control. Easier to go along with what the ex-acrobat wanted.

I wouldn't ask for his help. I couldn't. Just like I couldn't ask for him to tell me what to do. I still had my Pride. No matter how worthless it was. But where he gave me the aid… I would take it. I was selfish like that.

It was instinct and habit that brought me to a place where we could talk. If I had consciously chosen it, the _last_ place I would have brought Trowa would have been Maxwell's Church. The bad memories get worse there. Old wounds become far more tender. I don't like visiting Maxwell's Church. Not with _anyone_. To mourn, yes. Simply to look… No… Never.

I crossed my arms on the steering wheel and laid my head down on them. I closed my eyes, trying to get rid of the occasional flashing in my eyes. I didn't try to start a conversation. I _really_ did not wish to discuss anything. I was so tired. Even with the caffeine in my system. It wasn't enough. It never was anymore. I could rarely get enough caffeine. Perhaps I needed to mainline it.

"Where are we?" Trowa broke the silence, after a few minutes pause. He must have realized that I wasn't going to start the conversation.

"The second place I ever called home," My voice was barely audible. I _really_ do not like discussing Maxwell's Church, "And the penultimate. Maxwell's Church and Orphanage."

"Where was the last?"

"Quatre's place." My words caught slightly in my throat.

"Then come home, Duo." I could _hear_ the confidence in his voice. He thought I would come home.

"I can't Tro. I can't." And I hated myself for saying it. I wanted to. Oh how I wanted to go home… But I couldn't.

"Yes, you can. None of us would judge you. Quatre's left your room just as it was. Heero's frantically looking for you. Wufei worries about you. And I just ran after you, not knowing for sure that it was you. We miss you. It doesn't feel right without you." How much of that was a lie? How much was the truth? How much was exaggerated? I didn't know. But it didn't matter either.

"When did you learn to talk?" The joke was automatic. I opened my eyes to look at him.

"When I realized that someone needed to fill the silence you left behind." That hurt. But the tone wasn't reprimanding. Just that gentle chiding. The chiding that left me confused and off balance.

"I didn't have a choice." I wouldn't lie. Even if I couldn't tell him all the truth.

"Yes, you did." I tried to suppress the anger that his words caused. What right did he have to say that? What did he know?

"You're right. I could choose between running and hiding and doing what I've been doing, or signing your death warrants. Some choice." I only managed to control my anger for the first sentence. The rest of it was spat with ferocity.

"What?" Trowa was startled. His obvious shock allowed me time to get my emotions back under control. If I got angry I would say more than I would mean to. More than I was allowed to.

"You can't tell the Preventers you found me. Or Quatre will die." I got the important stuff out the way.

"You'd kill Quatre?" How could he say that? How could he think I was _capable_ of that? Didn't he know me? Didn't he understand me?

"No!" I declared, my fear for Quatre's safety penetrating my voice completely, "But it wouldn't be me. Not my choice. If the Preventers, Wufei or Heero find out that I've been found, Quatre dies. I don't want it to happen. But it will."

"Is that what keeps you away?" His voice was softer. He was finally getting it.

"That," I shrugged slightly, "And the seventy five percent chance that Wufei will be killed, the fifty-fifty chance of death that both you and Heero have…"

"And you?" Was that concern in his voice? Fear? For me? I didn't dare hope for that.

"I've got a one in four chance of death." Trowa frowned in confusion. I had no worry about the little information I was giving him. It was sufficiently vague that he would never work out what the threat was. And that was important. Because I could _never_ let Wufei find out what his actions had inadvertently caused.

"Duo, who's threatening you?" Trowa asked.

"I can't tell you. Just that it's not our abilities that give us the odds." The information he was getting would confuse him more than help, so the Pilots would be safe. My _family_ would be safe.

"What have you been doing?" Trowa wanted to know.

"I can't tell you."

"You know Quatre's brought you presents? Every year? So have the others. So have I." A lie. It had to be. Please. Let it be a lie.

"Get rid of them." I barely put any breath into the words. I was too torn by hope and grief to speak any louder. "I'm not coming home."

"You will." How I longed for Trowa's conviction. For his belief. But I knew the truth.

"I can't."

"Did they tell you that?"

"No." I saw him relax at my first word and then tense up again as I continued. "They don't need to. What I've done… means I can never go home. I'll never be free. Because if I tell… a lot of people are going to get into trouble. A lot of important people. They'll kill me, when I'm no longer of any use."

I knew that as firmly as I knew who my family was. As firmly as I knew my own name. I would stay alive just long enough to complete the last mission they required of me. And then… they would probably tell me to commit suicide. And even though I shouldn't… I longed for that day. For the day when I could _finally_ lay down my weapons. When I could _finally_ stop killing… murdering. When I could _finally_ rest. _Finally_ sleep. Even if it was the sleep of death.

Some part of me said that I was being stupid longing for that. But I couldn't help myself. I just wanted to sleep.

"Duo!" There was fear in his voice. He cared. He really did care. When? How? He really and truly _cared_! I could barely believe my ears.

"I don't have a choice, Trowa. Just forget about me. It'll be easier. My body might turn up on the streets one day. I'll die where I've lived. On the streets. It's all I deserve, anyway." It would be easier. It would be less pain for him. He would be able to heal. And the Duo he had known had died a long time ago, anyway.

"No." Barely a whisper from the taller man, "You're better than that."

Where the words true? Or where they just empty platitudes? I didn't know. So I took them at face value. They would be something to keep me warm.

"I'm a thief. I'm a murderer. Trowa just go home. Forget about me."

"Never. Duo, you don't have any idea what you mean to us. Heero's nearly out of his mind with worry. Especially since they found your blood on L3."

"How?" How did they know about that? How had they found out?

"Quatre's listed as your next of kin, Duo. Remember?"

"I haven't thought about that for years. I was thinking about switching it to Heero. But then…"

I was only going to switch it to Heero, because I though the deeper feelings I had for him meant something. But as the Foreign Minister had pointed out, that was a stupid idea.

"Then you left."

"I didn't have a choice." He had to understand that. It wasn't my choice. But it was my burden to carry.

"I know. You wouldn't have left if you did." Again his voice became gentler.

"Just go home. Mourn me and forget me. It'll be easier." And it would be. For him at least.

"No." His hands gently turned me to face him. "What is going to happen is that you are going to take me to a safe-house. I don't need to know where it is. And I don't want to know. Once there, I am going to check you over. I can't go back to Quatre and tell him that I left his best friend… his big brother walk around injured. And we both know you are." I couldn't stop myself from raising my hands to my bandaged chest. It still hurt. The most recent blow hadn't helped.

"I'm not a good best friend. Never mind a big brother." I doubted that I deserved the title of Quatre's big brother anymore. I had put him through so much.

"No," Finally Trowa told me the truth. Told me what I was expecting to hear. But then he carried on, "You're the best. I don't know what you've been doing. But I can see it's been killing you. You were never meant to be alone. You're a social person. Isolation is hurting you almost as much as a physical wound."

I had to look away. I would not cry. I would not let Trowa see my tears. I would not let him see what his words… his lies were doing to me. But he turned my head back to face him.

"Let me help you." Trowa demanded, "You've already disabled the GPS on my phone." I hadn't realized that he had figured it out, "I'm no risk. I don't want Quatre hurt any more than you do… But nor do I want you to be hurt. For as much as Quatre is your little brother… You are mine. I am not leaving, until I am sure that I have done as much as I can to help you heal."

I thought about what Trowa had said. Carefully weighing both the risks and the possible gains. I kept my eyes on his face. Trying to see whether he was lying. He had just claimed me as his brother. Did he realize that I had longed to hear those words? Was he trying to deceive me? Was he telling the truth? Had all my dreams of a family come true? Did I have more than one person in the whole Sphere who cared for me?

I made my decision. I tore a strip off my t-shirt. It was old. It was dirty. But it would serve the purpose I had in mind for it.

"Blindfold." I handed it over.

Part of the reason I let him blindfold himself was respect. The respect I had for him. But another part was that I didn't trust my hands to tie a knot anymore. The shakes Trowa had pointed out earlier had gotten worse. And I couldn't understand why. I had drunk enough coffee… Hadn't I?

I turned on the music, to deny Trowa a point of reference of where we were going.

I had earlier noticed that the car had an optional seat massage, so I activated it after Trowa leant back in his chair, his eyes covered. The motion would mask the movement of the car, thus removing another possible point of reference for him.

I didn't drive around in circles. I didn't know that I could manage it. But I did know where I was headed.

It was the safest safe-house I knew of. To my knowledge it had been forgotten. Lost in memory. It wasn't a Gundam safe-house. Nor one used by White Fang. The Sweepers hadn't told me of it. And Pestilence had never known of its existence.

It was a hidden base. A base that had belong to the Alliance. And the only reason I knew of it? They had kept me imprisoned there for two years. From the moment they found me in the still smoking remains of Maxwell's Church, clutching the cooling body of Sister Helen. To the moment I escaped.

I had escaped on my first escape attempt. It just took me two years to _want_ to escape. I just hadn't cared. It was only when some of the soldiers started looking at me like the Johns looked at the street-workers that I knew I had to escape.

And don't tell me the Alliance wouldn't imprison an innocent child. I was the only witness to what had happened. I was the only person who could refute the web of lies they had spun. I was a threat to them. However give me a few years and I could have been a useful soldier for them. Or at least a body that could die in their name.

The Specials, or OZ, knew about my existence as well. Apparently Trieze had a plan to find and 'rescue' me, when I turned eleven. So that I would become a loyal servant to OZ. I could also have discredited the Alliance and provided a way for OZ to take over in public acclaim. After all the Maxwell Massacre was the Alliance's biggest PR nightmare.

During OZ's take-over on L2 every soldier from the hidden base was killed. Either by OZ troops or by the Rebels. So as far as I knew only Colonel Une, Zechs and a few odd soldiers knew where the base was… If they hadn't forgotten its existence. And why would _they_ go there? They didn't know that _I_ knew it existed. No one had ever made the connection between the Maxwell Survivor and Duo Maxwell.

It even had a drive-in entrance, leading to the main area. For my purposes, it was perfect. Only I couldn't stay there too often. Someone might realize where the base was.

Once I was inside I turned off the massage option and the music. Then I got out the car and moved over to the hospital bed that I had moved into the garage a long time ago. In fact I only ever used the one room. The rest of the place held memories that I would rather not think about.

"Strip down." Trowa ordered, following me to the equipment.

I obeyed. Needing Trowa's help to remove my top, as my left arm protested when I tried to raise it above my head, without complaint. I just wanted it over. With every touch Trowa was weakening my resolve. Weakening my determination. I needed to get it over with as quickly as possible. But I also longed for his touch. So gentle and comforting. I longed for his embrace and the warmth it brought to my heart. So I could not refuse his command.

I sat on the bed in my boxers, my eyes closed. There was a slight intermittent ringing in my ears for a moment, but then it faded.

Trowa's touches were feather light as he unbound the bandages around my wounds. Some stuck slightly. Blood fixing them in place. Gently dabbed warm water loosened the blood and allowed the bandages to be removed. I couldn't prevent the flinches, but he was gentle. He washed away all the blood that had dried on my skin, as well as the fresh blood that came from my more recent wounds.

My arms and leg had been caught by a particularly proficient knife wielding target. She had been very deadly. But her death would forever be explained away as a fight. The way I understood it, her own gang cleaned up after me and removed all traces of her presence as well as mine.

"These need stitching." Trowa informed me. I could feel the barest touch of his fingers over the slashes. "I'll need to sedate you."

"There's local anaesthetics in the case." I didn't want to be sedated. Anything could happen then. If I was asleep there was a chance I might wake up. But if I was sedated… I wouldn't stand a chance.

I heard him rummaging in the medical kit.

"You've run out." He stated, before continuing, "And anyway, Duo, that's three limbs. You'd be useless doped up like that. You've got my phone and I'll give you my word that I won't run."

How much was his word worth? Was he lying? This was Trowa. Surely he wouldn't try and deceive me about this? I could trust him. Couldn't I? But I would be defenceless.

All the arguments and counter-arguments rushed through my head. I could barely think straight. I couldn't make heads or tails of what I was supposed to do.

Trowa's voice broke through my confusion:

"Duo, right now, you couldn't stop me, even if I had one arm tied behind my back. Trust me. I'm on watch. Stand down."

I stood down. My response was automatic. A fellow Gundam Pilot had told me to stand down. I stood down. That was all I needed to know. All I needed to hear.

I felt a prick as the needle slipped under my skin. Then a pause, before Trowa removed it. I could _feel_ the drug running around my body, quickly taking effect.

I wobbled slightly as I lost control of my body. Trowa's arms caught me and laid me down on the bed. His touch was so gentle… So caring… So kind. That I found myself taken to another place, another time, when someone else had been equally kind and equally caring.

I don't know how long I slept for, exactly. But at least nine hours. And I don't know how. I hadn't slept for more than five hours for six years. More than three for two. Had Trowa's mere presence made _that_ much of a difference? Or was it the sedative?

But when I awoke my body felt so much better. So many little aches and pains that I had learnt to live with were gone. My body wasn't stiff. My limbs weren't as heavy.

My mind also was much better. I could think more clearly. The constant haze that had clouded my mind for so long, that I had gotten used to peering through it, had lifted. I could see more clearly. More easily.

Was that what it was like to have a good night's sleep? I had forgotten. I had forgotten what it felt like to wake up fully refreshed.

My injuries were stitched up and bandaged. I was feeling a thousand times better than I had before. But I also had some strange fleeting memories. I put them down to dreams. No one touched my hair with a caress. Not since Sister Helen. No one stroked it.

Trowa was asleep on a nearby bed. He awoke as my feet lightly hit the floor.

"Feeling better?" He smiled and sat up.

"A bit." I wouldn't let Trowa know just how much better I was feeling. He would try and persuade me to go with him, again.

"Duo," He held my wrists and forced me to face him, "I can't force you to come home. But… if you get seriously hurt again, you are to contact me. Tell me a place and a time. I'll turn up. And I'll patch you up. I won't tell anyone that I'm going to see you."

"Tro…" I couldn't do that. I would be putting them all at risk.

"Promise me." Trowa demanded, "Say, 'I promise I will contact Trowa when I am seriously injured, as in 'Partially Operational'. I will tell him a time and a place. I will meet him there and take him to a safe-house, where I will let him treat me. And I will do all this, before two days have passed after the injury. The meeting will not occur any later than four days after the injury.'. Say it!"

I saw no way to escape. And so I made the promise. Repeating him word for word. But even if it was a promise made under duress, I would still keep it. I never lied, after all.

"You can't tell Heero or Wufei." I stated once he released me so that I could get dressed.

"I know." Good. He understood. I could breathe a little easier.

I was startled when he threw one of his t-shirts at me. I stared at him in confusion.

"Yours is more rags than clothes." His tone was jovial, "Take mine. It's not like I'll miss it."

"Tro…" He was giving me charity, "I can't…"

"Hell you can!" I flinched from his anger, "When you come home, Quatre's practically going to replace your entire wardrobe."

"I can't come home!" Why couldn't he understand that? What was so hard to understand about that?

"You will." I found myself encompassed by his embrace. "I don't know when. But I promise you, I will find a way for you to come home."

"You can't." Did he understand the futility?

"I will." He promised, "I will find a way, so that you can come home at no risk to anyone. But until then, you are going to do everything in your power to stay alive. And you will take what I give you, as long as it does not contain tracking devices. Agreed?"

"I can't…" I murmured, slightly muffled by his arms still wrapped around me.

"Yes you can." He shook me trying to get the concept into my head I think, "I am going to do everything I can to keep you alive. Because you are coming home. And we are going to be a complete family, again. Do you understand?"

"You can't risk your life or the lives of the others!" Why couldn't he see that?

"I won't. But you are going to take care of yourself. Do you understand?" He promised, even as he forced cash into my hand.

"Tro…" He didn't understand. And I lacked the words to explain.

"Say: 'Yes Trowa'."

"Yes Trowa." I could speak the words he wanted to hear. But I couldn't say them in the tone he wanted to hear. I knew the truth. I was beaten. I was defeated. I would die on the streets.

I was never coming home.

"Now, get dressed." Trowa instructed, "I'll wait in the car. And you can drop me off wherever. I'd just like my mobile back at some point."

I got dressed. Trowa wasn't watching. I quickly loaded an auto-injector with a fast acting sedative. Unlike Trowa, I never was too good at finding a vein quickly.

I had to sedate him. With every word Trowa spoke, my resolve was weakening. And I couldn't afford for my resolve to weaken. The _others_ couldn't afford for it to weaken. So I had to stop it from being weakened. And that meant that Trowa couldn't talk to me anymore.

He never even saw it coming. And I felt like I was betraying him with the action.

"I'm sorry, Trowa." I apologized, "But you're not going to see where I go. Tell Quatre I'm sorry."

I drove the car to the Space-Port and parked it in the car-park. I removed the disruptor from the mobile phone, and left him a simple message on the screen. Again, it said everything that needed to be said and that I could say. Just like my note I had left at Quatre's:

'I fixed the GPS. I'm sorry.'

I left Trowa there. He would wake up soon. But I would be long gone. Off colony and with a bit of luck, out of Cluster.

He would be safe. The Space-Ports hire their own security. No one would attack him in the car.

I could not allow any more slip ups. I could not allow myself to fail the others, again.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Whitetiger1589 – Yeah, I do seem to be giving Duo issues. I'm going to have to pay for his psychologist's psychologist at this rate.

Toraus – Yes, poor poor Duo. Thanks for the review.

Raelyn-Mage – Sorry. *Pouts in apology* Glad you liked it. I'm never quite sure how I write emotional stuff. It sounds great in my head, but… Anyway, thanks for reviewing.

Arialee – Glad you enjoyed it.

Leora chan – Thanks for the cookies! *Big grin* Duo likes them too. The others are still asleep. You _sure_ I shouldn't be worried? Heero even slept through a gun going off.

Lilly – Not quite at the revenge yet. But Justice will be served.

Hellfire – Are you just giving me random stuff out your kitchen cupboards? If so, keeping on doing so. It's great! And could you send me the ingredients for steamed dumplings? I only know how to do Western food. Glad you liked the chapter though.

Katerina Shinigami – The present is coming. Just be patient. Duo's been having a little strop about the fact that his side wasn't represented. So he won't let anything go. Thanks for the review.

Wind Dancer1981 – And I thank you.

Pattyard – Glad you are enjoying it.

Thank you to all my reviewers.


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Duo's POV – Cont.

It was only about a week after Trowa had found me that I was given my next target. A name, a photo and an address. They didn't give me crimes. I didn't need to know why. Just who. And increasingly back then, where, when and how.

I didn't know why the restrictions were sometimes added. I didn't really care. All I needed to know was what they are. I had to follow them, after all.

The name was Gerald Long. An inhabitant of L5. For me personally one of the harder Clusters to infiltrate. With my colouring, I stood out a mile. But there are ways. I could still complete the mission.

And I did so. As quickly as I could. While there wasn't a timescale for the assassination, sometimes I could receive a second mission, before I had finished the first. It was… safer if I completed the mission as soon as I could. Otherwise I could end up with two missions to do.

I thought I had been sensible when I was ordered to an unscheduled pick-up less than forty-eight hours after the death. While unscheduled meets were not common, I had done them before. It usually indicated that I would be called upon to terminate a political rival. An innocent.

I barely got there with time to spare. I found Jun waiting for me.

"Your latest mission is scrubbed." Jun told me, "New evidence just came in. Long is innocent."

"He's also dead." I replied. Too tired to keep the bluntness from my words. "He's dead?"

"Please. I didn't know. I'm sorry. Don't hurt the others. You can do what you want to me… Just don't hurt the others! Leave my family out of this. I will pay the Price." I fell to the ground to beg. Stuff my pride. Screw my honour. The others were worth far more than that to me.

I didn't look up at all during the pause, before Jun spoke again. I didn't dare. The others' lives lay in his hands. He could kill all I held dear. Or save it, as he wished.

"It was our fault." Jun spoke slowly. "We rushed too hastily. We did not think. You were not to know. You did as you were told."

I heard him kneel down next to me. I still didn't raise my head. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Not only were the others safe, but I was forgiven.

"We should have been more thorough." Jun declared, "We should have checked. It was our mistake, not yours. One cannot blame the attack dog for obeying its orders. The blame truly resides with those who gave the orders."

Again with the attack dog reference. I got the feeling that Jun had either always wanted a dog or had a dog. I got my mind back on track. I was getting more and more of the random thoughts back then. They came when I was tired. Which was all the time. I just wanted everything to end.

"I will talk with the others." Jun announced, "We have proven that we are fallible. Maybe it is time that we stood down. 'Who guards the guards'? We must regulate ourselves. As no one else can. Perhaps it is time to set you free. Would you like that?"

"Yes." My traitorous lips replied before I could keep them silent. It would be wonderful to be free. Free to die. For they could not let me live. Free to die. As I should have done _years_ ago.

His words and tone stirred hope in my heart. Hope of an end. An end to _everything_. I tried to quash it. They would never let me go. Yes, it was the first time they had sent me to kill a man innocent of the crime for which they had believed him guilty. But it was not the first time I had killed an innocent on their orders.

Or did the Conspirators think of the political figures I had killed as political criminals? I didn't know. And I didn't _need_ to know.

They could not let me go. For who knew when the next political threat would come? I was a reliable fix for their problems.

Jun sent me away, so that he could organise a meeting of the others. I was not needed. He also told me that until he told me otherwise Long's death was 'Black'.

I knew the matter had been decided, when I was summoned less than a week later. Only Jun was not there.

The others were.

All of them.

But no Jun.

I didn't even need them to speak the words. But they did anyway. I knew what they were going to order, before they took the breath to say it.

That night I found myself in Jun's bedroom, watching the man sleep. He awoke as I stepped out into the moonlight.

"They sent you." Jun wasn't asking.

"Yes." I replied softly.

"Will you do as they have instructed?"

"Yes. I must."

"If it means anything at all," Jun sighed, "You have a great deal of Honour. Not many would sacrifice their lives for people they had only known two years."

"What I do is not Honourable." I stated, "I do it because I have to. I will not allow them to be harmed."

"That is Loyalty beyond measure." Jun smiled slightly.

"It is selfishness on my part." I shrugged, "I do not wish to mourn again."

"Oh _child_, what did we do to you? To make you think so?"

I kept quiet. His question did not seem to need an answer. And I was grateful for it. Seeing as how I didn't even understand the question.

"When will you kill me?" Jun inquired.

"Half an hour ago." I answered, "I slipped it into your tea."

"My ancestors would be ashamed that I am asking this question… But then again, there is a lot about me and what I have done that they would be ashamed of… Will it hurt?"

"No." I replied.

I had not been easy. And it had cost me a great deal of money (which I had stolen) to obtain. Especially as quickly as I had needed it. But he would feel no pain. He would simply fall asleep.

"Young one," Jun spoke again, "Stay with me?"

I sat down next to his bed. I would wait. I had time. I had already wiped his computer systems of all data relating to the Conspiracy, destroyed letters that he was planning on sending and fired off the dishwasher full of crockery and the cup that had held the poison.

I wanted to hate him. I wanted to want him to suffer. But I didn't. And I couldn't. I should have hated him. He had stirred Hope inside of me. Something I had fought I had successfully killed long before.

Trowa had not rekindled my hope for an end to everything. He did not know what he was up against. So I could cope with his optimism. But Jun's had succeeded where Trowa had failed. And I wished that Jun hadn't.

Hope hurt. And it hurt when it died as well. My hope died with Jun at two seventeen a.m. on the two thousand, six hundred and fifty ninth day of my slavery.

It would only be later that I would realize the full extent of Jun's care for me. I had thought that it had been his disdainful words that had kept me safe from Tanner's wants.

The Foreign Minister disabused me of that notion.

"Jun had dirt on Tanner." She said, "He used it as leverage to keep you safe. Wonder why? I mean it's not as if you're worth anything."

I kept silent throughout her speech. If I interrupted her monologue there might be consequences, depending on how she was feeling.

"And I don't know why Tanner wants you. You're just a freak. A slut. A whore. You would take it from anyone. You don't love. You just sleep with people. Were you doing Jun? Was that why he protected you? Wanting to keep you to himself?

"Did you cry when you had to kill him? Did you really _love_ him? Or were you just using him?

"Not that it matters. He can't stop Tanner anymore. And I don't see why we should. We all need to find our pleasure somewhere. If that just happens to be in a distasteful manner, then so be it.

"Tanner has asked to take over the drop-offs." She smirked, "No one could see any reason why he shouldn't do it alone. He starts next month. And quite frankly, no-one _cares_ what happens to you. Little whore!"

I was scared. Solo had threatened vague dire punishments for anyone who broke his rules. And even though he was long dead, I still feared them. Solo had no power to exact his punishments anymore. But I still feared them. And I would be forced to break one.

I truly feared the next pick-up. What little sleep I had been managing to get was now disturbed. For the first time in seven years, three months and two weeks I feared for myself.

Colonel Une produced another mission for me to go on before the pick-up. She actually called the phone she had given me all those years ago.

"Oh-Two," She barked, "You made a mistake."

"What did I do?" The blood drained from my face.

"There was a witness to one of your crimes. He's coming to the Main Preventer Headquarters. I want him eliminated. This is the Safe House address he'll be sent to…"

She rattled off an address and times when the witness would be there. And then hung up. I didn't trust my memory anymore. I had jotted the address down on a scrap of paper.

I would have to move quickly. Colonel Une had made a mistake. I would be identified long before the witness reached the Safe House. They wouldn't send him there until they had something. And if he was talking, I would be identified. Thus putting the others in trouble. That had been one of the main rules. My anominity was to remain absolute. I couldn't let myself be identified.

Therefore I would have to break into the Preventer headquarters to kill the witness, before he spoke. For the others' sakes.

There was also a slim chance that if I broke into the Prevents, I might spot Heero or Wufei. It was a chance I would have to take.

Okay, so I had no chance of making it appear to be anything other than a murder and I would be heading directly into the lion's den. But I had no choice. Though they did not know it, my brothers were counting on me.

It was surprisingly easy to break in, even acknowledging the fact that I was using the ventilation system.

The problem would be with getting the interrogators away from the witness. For that to happen, I needed a distraction. One large enough for the whole building to be alerted, but _not_ evacuated.

What better distraction than the lure of an intruder? There was a flaw in my logic, but my sleep-deprived mind couldn't spot it, even though I knew it existed. I rigged the security system to give me ten minutes before activating. More than enough time, I thought, to reach the correct room.

But I was too slow. They were alerted long before I was in position. So when I finally found the right room and dropped in, I was rushed for time. In my haste I hadn't taken the time to prepare a weapon, or decide on how to eliminate the target.

I don't even know the guy's name. But he knew me. If only by sight. He rose to his feet and produced a gun, before my knife was out of my sheath. My reactions were slowed, and I didn't know why. I still don't

"It's you!" He stared, "Don't come any closer!"

He was scared of me.

"She said they'd keep you away!" He carried on. I didn't know, nor did I care who 'She' was, "I won't let you kill me! Come any closer and I'll shoot!"

Then he paused, before becoming smug, most of the fear gone from him.

"Hell! Why don't I kill you anyway? It's not as if you really matter! No one's going to care about you. No one will come to your funeral. If you even get one!"

Years ago, that would have hurt. Then? It didn't. Just the truth, after all.

But I couldn't let myself die. I had the gun out of his hand and into mine with very little fuss. After all, he wasn't expecting me to act.

The guy was all bravado. And no substance. He deflated the second I had control of the gun. He hadn't even taken the safety off. A mistake I quickly rectified. I was not rookie, after all. He started to beg. He started to plead. But I couldn't let him go.

I must have paused too long. He took my inaction as _inability_ to act and charged me. Believing that I was too scared to kill him. I had pulled the trigger, before I even thought about it.

For a moment I stared at his body. Watching the pool of blood expand. Then reality kicked in. I had just shot a man in the Preventer Headquarters. I had to get out of there. Immediately!

My movements were more instinctive than planned. Back up into the ducts. Pull the hatch closed. Start crawling. But making sure not to make any noise.

I prayed. For probably the first time in my life I prayed. And meant every word. I sent my prayer to Sister Helen. Maybe she could intervene on my behalf with _her_ God.

I asked that only I bear the punishment… The penalty for my mistake.

I heard voices as I crawled. Hauntingly familiar, but my mind could not place them. There was something indescribably _wrong_ with them. And I wasn't listening to the words.

They fell silent. Or at least inaudible.

Then a bang and a lance of pain into my arm. A gunshot and a bullet, my brain supplied. _Danger!_ My mind pointed out. If so much as one drop of my blood fell through to those below, my location would be known.

I grabbed my upper arm in an attempt to stop the blood flow just long enough to get further down the duct and therefore _away_ from the hole.

But there was too much blood. It fell. My heart sank. I was caught. I had failed. The penalty would not be mine to bear.

There were five more stabs of pain, one much weaker than the rest. My leg, twice. My chest. My stomach. My ribs, but much weaker. I do not know the order. I only remember the pain.

I couldn't stay on all fours. My limbs were weakening with loss of blood. And my body's instinctive urge to curl up was too strong to resist.

"Shinimagi?" I whispered, "I'm ready."

I had stolen his name. I had robbed him of his job. And finally… _finally_ he would claim what was rightfully his. My life. My soul.

I had no delusions. I was dying. Perhaps Sister Helen had interceded after all. Only I would pay the price for my mistake.

Despite the pain, I smiled. Soon it would all be over. My eyes were closed in acceptance. My ears almost deafened by the beating of my heart. Which with each beat was growing slower and weaker.

All in all, it wasn't such a bad way to die. It hurt. But the pain was fading.

A loud banging noise and shouting jarred me awake slightly. I could almost _feel_ the adrenaline it produced flow throughout my body making my death a little slower.

I couldn't make out words. I was too far gone for that. But I could hear fear. I wanted to tell them to leave me alone. I wanted to tell them to go away. I wanted to tell them to let me die in peace. But I had no breath to tell them.

The noise stopped. Peace. Wonderful, glorious peace.

The quiet was once again torn asunder. This time by screaming metal, pulled apart not far from me.

Then questing hands found my body and started to pull. The pain flared again. Bringing moisture to my eyes. Releasing another rush of unwanted adrenaline to my body.

"Just let me die." I wanted to say, "Let me rest. Let me sleep. Please… Just leave me be. Let me die."

But I had not the strength. Just as I lacked the strength to bat away the strong, but gentle hands and arms that carried me down to the floor.

They didn't release me. I remained trapped by the arms. Some strange form of a hug. But I felt safe. I felt secure. I didn't want to fight them anymore. The arms were comforting. As was the presence behind it. The slightly frantic heartbeat in my ears drowning out my own.

Then three other presences joined us. I couldn't open my eyes to see them. I could barely feel their touches on my skin. But I knew they were there. And my sense of security increased.

For the first time in seven years I had found my home. It would have to be just as I was dying. But I didn't mind that. My whole being was filled with such a sense of Peace and Serenity that I didn't care.

I couldn't feel the pain anymore. I couldn't feel the hold that was around me. Though I knew it was still there. I could still sense the presence of the four that were gathered around me. I didn't know who they were. But I thought that I knew them. I just couldn't remember. I couldn't remember a lot of things.

They say before you die that your life flashes before your eyes. I do believe that… It's called life. But I don't believe you get a re-run. I didn't.

All I felt was this wonderful calm. This glorious Serenity.

"All in all, not a bad way to die." I thought to myself, before I fully surrendered to the darkness.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Wow! I hit three hundred. I never expected to. So, as has become my custom… I dedicate this chapter to my three hundredth reviewer: Whitetiger1589. Thank you all. I'm not sure I would have got this far without you.

Though I am surprised that no-one questioned Jun's existence. Never mind! I explained it now.

Katerina Shinigami – Easily amused, huh? By what? Hope that the food is still plentiful and the crochet… hasn't taken over the house.

Raelyn-Mage – Candy gratefully accepted. Glad you're enjoying this.

Camillian – Thanks for the review. And yep! Duo's confused alright. Wait till the others join in.

Duffy – I understand your frustration. And I apologize. But if I try to muck the muse around and pressure it… It has a hissy fit. I'd rather a long wind up than writer's block. Though stay tuned… I reckon there's only two more chapters to go before I stop repeating stuff.

Leora chan – Alright! I'll leave the boys alone. Duo, however, has not only snagged all my blankets to cover them with… he's found the felt-tip pens. Thanks for the cookies. Glad you liked the last chapter.

Arialee – Thanks for the review. Glad you're enjoying it.

Wind Dancer1981 – Thank you for your review. I'm pleased that you like it.

Katsumadarkness – *Smacks hands.* Stop biting your nails! And get some sleep! For spelling errors… Please note I'm from the UK. Then again, I also can't spell. And just so you know…. I made up my login name long before I even _heard_ about Gundam Wing. It's slightly freaky. But I won't change it. I'm glad you're enjoying this. Always nice to hear from people.

Bunch-o-Nuts – I'm getting there. I'm sorry, but if I try to continue a chapter after the point where the muse says 'Stop!', he has a hissy fit. And then I can't write anything. Glad to hear from you. And thank you for your compliments.

Lilly – Okay, now I want to attend the Maganac party. Sounds like fun! I hope this satisfies you for now. I've gotta take two more lefts and then a right. But I'll get there.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – I'm afraid Duo's a chatty guy. But he's starting to wrap up. Glad you're enjoying it.

Hellfire – Things should get better soon… I think. Nice to see you're enjoying it.

Whitetiger1589 – Hugs welcomed! Glad you liked it. And thanks once more for my three hundredth review.

So-kun – Thank you.

Thank you to all my reviewers, once again.


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Duo's POV – Cont.

I don't remember much about what happened for a long time. Mere snatches and impressions. And things that _have_ to be delusions, dreams and hallucinations. Because they would never happen in real life.

I remember angel kisses on my face.

I remember hands holding my own.

I remember asking Heero why I was tied down.

I remember Trowa telling me that I was drugged. But not why.

I remember Wufei staring at me with wide eyes.

I remember Quatre spooning jello into my mouth. He knows I hate that stuff.

I remember Heero looking at me with amazement and wonder.

I remember the smell of antiseptic.

I remember Trowa whispering: "It's going to be alright."

I remember Quatre crying.

I remember someone stroking my braid.

I remember Wufei watching me with strangely haunted eyes.

I remember the taste of jello. But I couldn't see Quatre.

I remember warning Heero about danger.

I remember watching Wufei's lips move. But I don't know what he was saying.

I remember Trowa ruffling my hair.

I remember Quatre's eyes filled with tears. But I don't know why.

I remember Heero smiling gently at me. That one _had_ to be a delusion. He had no reason to smile at me.

I remember feeling safe.

I remember feeling secure.

I remember feeling cared for.

I remember feeling loved.

I do not remember any pain.

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The first things I became aware of when I came fully to were: the smell of antiseptic; the touch of fresh, clean cotton; a steady beeping noise; the feeling of complete and utter peace; and the sense that I was not alone.

Although I didn't panic. I just couldn't.

I started to shake off the remaining soporific in my system. I recognised the distinctive feeling. Morphine. I had only been on it once before. But I knew that it did funny things to me. I had delusions. Hallucinations. And a spotty memory afterwards.

So how much of what I remembered was reality? And how much was false?

I tried to shake off my inability to move. It took a while, but I realized, eventually, in my half-aware state, that it wasn't a physiological problem. Rather a problem of restraints.

I stopped fighting. I opened my eyes. And saw Wufei sitting next to me, out of the corner of my eye. He appeared to be in a casual shirt and slacks, but I could see the tie trailing out from his pocket. I could see the jacket thrown across a different chair to the one he sat in. He was in his Preventers' uniform.

Shinimagi had failed. I was supposed to die. Not to keep living. Not to put the others at risk.

A small part of me rejoiced at seeing Fei. And to have him see me.

An even smaller part was disappointed that it wasn't Heero, who was sitting there. But I didn't know why. Wasn't as if he particularly _cared_ for me.

Perhaps the angel kisses had been Sister Helen's apology for failing to intercede on my behalf. For the greatest part of me was worried for the others safety.

"Chang." I nodded at Fei. I saw the disappointment in his eyes. I wondered why it was so great.

But I needed the distance that his surname gave me. If I could keep everything under control then Fei would never need to find out _why_ I had done what I had done.

I would not let harm come to him. I could not _harm_ him. Therefore I could not _tell_ him.

"I guess I was caught."

"It's been a long seven years, Maxwell." His voice was soft. Regretful. Caring. "We missed you."

I felt my resolve start to crumple and hastily shored it up. Their lives rested in my hands. They could not _afford_ for me to fail. So I could not fail. I _would_ not fail.

I listened as Wufei reeled off my injuries. It was only a basic outline, but it correlated with what I had felt.

I did wonder why I wasn't panicking. Why I was so relaxed. In the end I came to the conclusion that I was on a mild tranquilizer.

Guess they figured I would panic.

And the restraints weren't only for _my_ benefit. They weren't just to keep me from aggravating my wounds.

They either thought I would run… Or commit suicide.

And either one was an option.

After the list there was a pause. I wouldn't look at Wufei. I couldn't let myself. If his face reflected even one _tenth_ of the care and love he was putting into his tone, I wouldn't be able to cope.

"I know I've changed a great deal since you left. I know this is going to be hard for you to accept… But I was a fool back then. I truly wish to be your friend, Maxwell. We were a group of five. It does not feel right without you.

Oh hell! How did he know exactly what to say? How did he know where to hit my defences? How did he know what I wanted to hear? My resolve was crumbling again.

"But we need information so that you can come home." I could _hear_ the pain in his voice as he said that. Either Fei was the world's greatest actor… Or he was by my bed as a friend and _not_ as a Preventer. How I hoped it was the former.

"Wufei." I managed to choke out his name.

"Yes?"

"I have to confess to sixty seven murders." It took all my courage. All my resolve. All my fear of what might happen to the others if I didn't obey. If I didn't go through with it. I drew on everything they had ever given me. All the good times I could remember.

"What?!"

'Still acting Fei?' I thought. Or was he truly surprised and shocked? I couldn't hear appal in his voice.

"I have to confess to sixty seven murders." I repeated, "While I cannot give you all their names, I can provide you with details about when, where and how."

"You don't have to do this Duo." I could barely hear his voice, "Tell me who made you do this."

Trowa had told him. Or was it Quatre? It didn't matter. He knew. And I had to make sure that he _never_ found out. I would not let my issues harm anyone. It was all my fault after all.

"I need to confess to sixty seven murders."

"Duo please." He was practically begging me.

"I'm sorry, 'Fei." I turned to face him. "I don't have a choice."

I don't know what he saw. But whatever it was… He was shocked, surprised and slightly scared. As if he'd seen something he'd never seen before and had never ever expected to see.

"We can help you."

"No," No one could help me, "You can't. I have to do this."

"Duo please. Don't make me have to arrest you." He really was begging me.

"I thought I already was arrested?"

"We're trying to get you off on coercion. Please. Help us." No Fei. Not at the price it would cost.

"I can't. I'm sorry. I don't have a choice."

"Duo, I can't let you do this to yourself."

"You don't have a choice."

"I have a doctor for a wife and I'm not afraid to use her."

I couldn't help smiling at that remark, before I lightly replied.

"It wouldn't work forever, Fei. You'd have to let me come around some time. Let me do this."

"I can't."

"Let me do this. Let me keep you safe." I wanted to touch him. To somehow apologize without words. Using the purest form of language there is… body and touch.

"How do you know that the person telling you to do this will keep their part of the bargain?"

"I don't. But all I can do is hope."

"Duo, don't do this. We need you."

"No. You don't. You just think you do." They didn't need me. My duty was far away from them.

"We spent seven years looking for you."

"And I should have died before you found me."

"You would commit suicide?"

"I'm not allowed to. Please, Wufei, don't make this any harder for me than it is already."

"I can't stand by and let you do this to yourself."

'Please, Fei,' I wanted to beg him, 'Don't yell. Don't shatter my dream Let me live a lie for just a little longer before you destroy it. Don't yell. Don't be angry. Don't yell.'

But I couldn't. I couldn't speak the words. I had too much Pride. Even after everything… I still had too much Pride. I did not want to be seen as weak by one of the few people I cared… No, not cared about… _Loved_!

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice, Fei. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I watched as his hand rose. I thought it would brush away the tiny spots of moisture coming from his eyes. Not tears. Because Fei doesn't cry. Not the strong, noble warrior. Nor the intelligent, quick scholar.

But instead he reached out to my cheek. I didn't understand at first why his fingers felt wet against my skin. Then I realized… _I_ was crying.

I waited for the insult. He opened his mouth and I was prepared for it. But what he said caused me to flounder.

"Duo, we can help you. We want to help you."

"You can't." I managed to reply, "Please, Fei. Let me do what I have to do."

"Can't you even give me a hint as to who is behind all of this?"

"No… I'm sorry."

"A motive, then?"

"Sorry."

"Please, don't make me listen to you while you do this." He really was begging. I started to believe that he really did care for me.

"Leave an active recorder. And wait outside. I'll call you when I'm done." I instructed. If he didn't want to listen, then I would not make him listen.

"No," He was determined, "If you have to do this… If you have had to do this for us… Then you at least deserve to have a friend sit by you and learn of what you've done."

A friend. Oh how I had _longed_ to hear that from his lips. I had heard it from Quatre's. I had heard it from Trowa's. Though I doubted its truthfulness. And even though I doubted that Fei was telling the truth… I didn't care. Just hearing it was enough.

"You're a good friend, Chang Wufei." I paid him all the Respect I could.

"No. I'm a terrible friend. And you're an amazing one. Let me set up the recorder." He wiped away the wetness on his cheeks.

Once the recorder was set up, I started speaking. I recited every death that wasn't 'Black'. I described as many details as I dared, removing some for the sake of innocents, such as the fact that the undercover cop had been found out. I would not smear Lui's name. I respected the man. Even though he was dead.

Fei just sat there. Holding my hand. My life-line to reality. To the present. He helped me drink when my throat dried. But apart from that he didn't do anything. He didn't say a word. I didn't even look at him as I spoke.

When I finished, Fei pulled me into a hug. For a moment I froze. Barely able to believe that he was willingly touching me. And to provide comfort at that!

My conscious mind was shoved aside by my inner child. He was desperate for a hug. The ones Trowa had provided him about a month ago had only made his needs worse. I surrendered with as much grace as I could muster. He relaxed completely into Fei's grasp. And I allowed myself to grieve for the first time in seven years. I mourned and cried for all those I had just described. Able to turn them from targets into people for the first time.

I stopped worrying about my Pride. I stopped worrying about my self-respect. I stopped worrying about what Fei thought of me. And I just took whatever he was offering, without thought.

"My friend," His voice was a mere murmur in my ear, "We will solve this. We will sort this out."

"You can't." I stayed leaning against him, "You can't, Fei. I'm sorry. I would rather have died than put you through this."

"Don't you say that!" He moved to stare at me, "Don't you ever say that Maxwell! We are going to fix this. I swear on my Honour."

"I'm not worth your honour."

"No. You are worth _far_ more than both my Honour and my Word. I fear that we are not worth the price you paid, and are still paying." I could not quite believe the words coming from Fei's mouth. He doesn't lie about his Honour. He doesn't lie about his Word. He truly meant it.

"It was mine to pay." I don't understand why he couldn't see that.

"May be so. But you paid it for all of us. So I think we should have had some say."

"Not my choice, Wufei. I could only choose to pay the price."

"No. You believed you had no choice. So you paid the price that they wanted. You did what you believed was necessary, as you were our brother. It took us several years to realize what you had tried to teach us. The importance of brotherhood and friendship, and what being team-mates actually _meant_. But you weren't here to reap the rewards of those lessons.

"And now you have come home. The prodigal brother, as Quatre would say. Now you can reap the rewards of your labours. We understand now. We don't blame you for paying the price. We blame ourselves for letting you."

That was how they felt? Or was it how Fei felt? I didn't know. But his words shamed me. They shouldn't have blamed themselves. It was my fault. Not theirs.

"It wasn't your fault." I couldn't look at him.

A firm grip on my chin turned my face back to look at my Chinese brother. His eyes fierce with partially concealed anger. His eyes bright with compassion and imperfect understanding.

"Yes, it was. You felt that you couldn't tell us. You felt isolated. You felt shunned. You thought that we wouldn't miss you. You thought that you were too much of a burden for us. But you loved us. So you did what you thought was necessary. You should have been able to trust us."

"I'm sorry." I didn't understand why I was apologizing, but it seemed like the right thing to do. And I did feel sorry. Though I didn't know why.

"That wasn't _your_ fault!" The first sentence was angry, but then he became gentle again, "It was ours. You didn't fail _us_. We failed _you_. We were supposed to be as close as brothers. And you tried so hard to make us see that. But we were wrapped up in our own little worlds. Too scared to make ourselves vulnerable that we completely missed the fact that you had already made yourself vulnerable. It was Dishonourable of us.

"You felt that you couldn't approach us. So you did what you felt was necessary and we lost you. It was _our_ fault. Not yours. _Never_ yours."

He didn't understand. How could he? It was my fault. It was _all_ my fault. _I_ had failed _them_. Not the other away around.

"But it _was_! I shouldn't have gotten caught. I was _told_ to stay away from you. But… I just… I just wanted…"

"You wanted to see us?"

How did he understand that? When he couldn't understand everything else. How could he be so perceptive? And yet so completely blind.

"I hadn't seen you since…" When? I couldn't remember at first, "Trowa on L2. Quatre when he went on that conference tour thing on L4. Heero and you would be your wedding."

"Why did you shoot him?" Gentle. Slightly chiding. But no recriminations. No accusations, "You should have known that would bring us running. You _must_ have known."

"I… I wasn't thinking." It was hard to admit. But I wouldn't lie, "He… He said some things… I got mad… I stopped thinking… I just wanted to get it over with… He started screaming… He was yelling… He pulled a gun on me… I got it out his hands… Turned it on him…" I didn't want to think about the last part. The part where I had failed the others.

"We didn't hear anything. Then again, the rooms are partially soundproof." He sounded thoughtful and then frowned as if thinking.

"I'm sorry." I couldn't look at him anymore, "I didn't mean to get caught."

"It was going to happen eventually. You were up against the rest of us. You may be our stealth expert. But you were going to slip up eventually. And anyway, you were doing a job that wasn't in your training. You are _not_ our assassination expert."

"But I wasn't…" I wasn't an assassin. I was an attack dog!

"That's what you were being used as. An assassin. Blackmailed into it. And I'm so sorry. We should have found you quicker. You should have been able to trust us and come to us for help. And it is _not_ your fault. It is ours. And ours alone. Let us carry this burden. You have carried it for too long, already."

"I choose to carry it."

What was he talking about? I didn't understand. But I had to answer him.

"It would have broken your back had you carried it much further. And I'm not sure it didn't. Let your friends help you, Duo. Let your _brothers_ help."

"My older brother died years ago," I couldn't look at him. Inside my mind they were my brothers. But never out loud. That would only tempt fate. Tempt Shinigami, "I have my little brother now. It is my job to protect him."

"Quatre may be your younger brother. But I would be proud to count you as mine. And although you may not believe it, I will at the very least count you as my friend and someone it is my duty to care for. I have no other family apart from my wife. I have come to consider the others my brothers. In spirit if not in blood. You are also one."

"I can't let you die."

How I had _longed_ to hear those words. I couldn't say the words out loud, myself. I couldn't. It wasn't a lie… I just didn't say it. And what I had just spoken was the truth. My older brother had died. And I considered the others, apart from Quatre, only as my brothers. Never giving them a designation of older or younger. Shinigami would take an older brother from me. But not a younger. The distinction mattered. At least to Shinigami. And that was all that mattered. As long as I could deceive Shinigami, he wouldn't claim them. Shinigami liked to claim those who were meant to protect me. And he loved to make it _my_ fault.

But that didn't mean they couldn't be harmed. Or even killed. Just that they wouldn't be killed _because_ of me. Unless I made a mistake that the Conspiracy noted.

"I don't follow."

"Everyone who ever told me that I should let them look after me… let them _protect_ me, died. The only way I can keep those I care for safe is if _I_ protect them."

"That was then," Gentle fingers moved my bangs away from my face, "This is now. You deserve our protection."

"I don't deserve…"

"Don't you say that! Don't you dare say that! We didn't spend seven years, four months, a week and three days searching for you for no reason. We did it, because we _cared_. Nataku! Quatre would be _so_ much better at this conversation than me. Why couldn't it be him? I'm torn between pounding the idea that we actually care for you into your thick skull and hugging you to death."

He sounded both exasperated and desperate for me to understand.

Maybe… _Just_ maybe I could believe him. I didn't remember Fei being a particularly good actor. But he could have learned.

I didn't know what to think. Fei was, like Trowa had, contradicting everything I had heard and believed for seven years.

What was the truth?

What was the lie?

Who could I trust?

I didn't know.

I don't know how long I lay there. Staring at the wall. Fei not even trying to start a conversation as I feared he would.

I was so wrapped up in my own little world that I didn't even notice when Fei became Heero.

I only realized that the changing of the guard had occurred, when Heero touched me lightly on the arm, startling me out of my thoughts.

"You need to eat." His voice was soft. Gentle. When had they all changed? When had they become soft?… No, not soft… Caring.

I didn't answer. I didn't need to. It wasn't a question. But I dutifully opened and closed my mouth as Heero spooned jello into me. I hate that stuff.

"Sorry," Heero sighed, "I know you don't like it. But you're on basically a liquid diet, until you're more healed."

I must have been staring at him in shock, because he continued.

"I was listening, all those times, you know." Heero smiled slightly, "I… was listening.

"Fei told me you didn't want to talk. But I've got some music. Would you like to listen?"

"Yes." I replied. I couldn't express in words how desperately I wanted something to listen to. So that I could drown out all the conflicting thoughts in my head. So that I didn't have to think. So that I didn't have to… remember.

I lost myself in the music. It was so much easier than dealing with what was going on.

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They eventually removed the restraints and officially arrested me. I settled into a routine with the others. Quatre would tell me stories of things that had happened over the years I had missed.

Trowa would play music. Allowing me to retreat into my head. To hide. To think. It wasn't always classical. Some pieces were songs he must have remembered me playing during the War.

Wufei had decided that I would hear everything of note from the others, and so he read me stories. He found adventure books and romance tales. Old stuff. But not the dreary Classics. Kids' stuff. And he would just sit and read them. I didn't have to talk to him. I could just lose myself in the words. I could go someplace else in my head. I could escape all my fears and worries.

Heero never quite knew what to do… Or say. I got the feeling that he was the most uncomfortable around me. It must have been because he was acting… Right? Just like they all were… Right? He brought music though, for when his words failed. And every piece was a piece I knew. Something I had played during the War.

At least once a day, in the hospital, one of them would ask me to tell them who had threatened me. I never told. I couldn't tell.

I don't really remember much specific about the hospital. I think I was deliberately blanking it out. I never liked hospitals. As a child I had believed that sick people went in and dead people came out.

When I got older I learnt more of the truth. _Poor_ sick people went in and _Poor_ dead people came out. _Rich_ people went in, whether sick or well, and they nearly always came out better. Little street kids in and they either got thrown out… or they never came out again. We lost Nics like that.

Every day I stayed there my resolve weakened slightly. I had something I had always wanted. At least as far as I could tell. I had a family that I thought of as family, and they claimed me as family.

I didn't know if it was a lie.

I didn't really care anymore.

If it was a lie… If they were all pretending… Well, I still wanted to believe. I couldn't stay. I knew that much. I feared every day that the penalty would be exacted. That that day would be the day they would learn how I failed them.

But it never happened. I refused to talk about the conspiracy. Though they tried many different methods. Heero's glare. Fei's alternating sweet then sour moods, like a Chinese meal. Quatre's begging. Trowa's gentle questioning, coupled with silence.

Though Trowa was the one who asked the least. I think he understood that I was only doing what I had to do. That I wouldn't tell. For their sakes.

I'm not sure if things got easier or harder when I started being able to stagger, with help, around. In one way it got easier, because other people would come in to interrogate me and my family had to leave. So their questions stopped.

On the other hand, I had to deal with my targets being people again. With the fact that they were human. That they bleed. That they had loved. That they had lived. They weren't pieces of paper. They were flesh and blood.

I don't know what the others thought of me. I cried after every interview.

I had tried for so many years to be strong. And now I was failing. When it mattered the most. I desired their respect. All I was probably getting was their scorn. Scorn that I was so weak.

The worst one, by far, was the police who came to talk about Nelson Lui. The older one of the two men must have been Lui's partner. He ended up condemning me to the Ninth Circle of Hell.

"I was born there." The words fell from my lips before I could veto them.

I think he would have killed me, if Heero hadn't come in and wrestled him away. That was the last I saw of the policeman.

"Did you know?" The younger of the two asked. Heero must have been _really_ distracted. He'd left me unwatched apart from the green rookie.

"Know what?" I asked.

"That he was cop?"

"Off the record?" I sighed. He nodded, "This doesn't go in any report… But yes. I knew."

"Then why…?"

"Because the criminals knew," I told the boy, "They found out. He was dying. Even if there had been a full medical team with full medical facilities right there… He probably wouldn't have survived. All I could do was make sure there was no pain."

"Then why not say so?"

"What good does it do to tarnish a dead man's reputation? He doesn't need that. And I doubt your partner would take it well. Lui made a mistake. Just don't get cocky, kid. Don't make that kind of mistake, alright? There's far too many bad policemen and criminals out there to loose the few good ones we have."

"Thank you."

He left. There wasn't anything else to say. Once more I cried for Nelson Lui. The policeman who had made one mistake, and had to pay the ultimate price.

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I was almost relieved when the Colonel turned up to talk to me. I had been waiting for one of the Conspirators to turn up. To tell me what I was to do next.

"Maxwell." Cold and calculating. Ever the Colonel.

"Colonel." I nodded to her.

"You broke your deal."

"No. You said the Preventers weren't to _look_ for me. They didn't. They caught me. Before they knew I existed."

"You still got caught. Maybe I should get one of the others to take over."

"You leave them out of this, Une!" I wouldn't let her do that. I couldn't!

"Now, now, Oh-Two. You agreed."

"Yeah. I did. And I've kept my mouth shut. I confessed about the murders you wanted me to. I didn't seek them out. I haven't tried to contact them. I did everything you wanted me to."

"I gave you the safe-house address…"

"By that time, the witness would have talked." I argued, "The safe-house would have been a fortress. I wouldn't have… But that's what you wanted."

I couldn't stop laughing hysterically. Suddenly so many things made sense.

"That's what you wanted." I continued, "You wanted me to die in a blaze of gunfire. The witness was a plant. _Your_ plant. I tried to keep my anonymity and you didn't want it anymore. Brilliant! I just mucked everything up."

"Yes, you did. You little brat! You were _supposed_ to _die_!" There was something frantic in her eyes.

"Don't worry, Colonel Une. I'll die anyway." I don't lie. Even to myself, "You and I both know I won't last three days in jail. Even if I was built like a brick wall, I wouldn't last three days. I killed half the guys' in jail bosses! Then you add in my small build? It's going to be _hell_. But I'll be dead. And out of your hair. Problem solved."

"Not quite."

"Huh?"

"You see if you die in jail… Well, there's political back-lash about jails not being secure Then you add in the fact that _some_ people might see you as a vigilante. Considering that most of your kills were criminals. That'll get out. It'll be a high publicity case. Sixty seven dead and the Preventers clueless? I don't want that. Nor do the others."

"So when do I commit suicide?" It was the logical answer to all our problems.

"We can't have that either. That would imply that you were left alone. And who would believe that a serial killer would commit suicide like that. After so long in custody?"

"So… How am I dying? Or disappearing?"

I was confused. I didn't understand what she wanted. And I couldn't understand the look of sympathy in her eyes. It was so _alien_. Like seeing the Lady looking out through the Colonel… No, that _was_ what I was seeing.

"You have two weeks. At the end of those two weeks, you will have escaped."

"Back to the grind-stone, huh?"

"Oh no. You see we can't have the Preventers seen as incompetent. Someone might start investigating. You are going to commit suicide by cop or Preventer."

"But if I escape when Heero or Wufei are here…"

"It'll have to be when Winner or Barton are here." Compassion in her eyes. Liquid nitrogen in her voice, "You'll need a hostage. And won't that look good on the news. Preventers bring down escaping serial killer, who was holding Quatre Raberba Winner hostage at the time."

"No… I won't hurt Quatre! I won't hurt Trowa! I won't hurt any of them…" That was crossing a line.

But I surrendered when she reached for her mobile:

"No! Okay. I'll do it. Don't. I'll do it."

"Good boy." Cruel tone. Eyes begging for forgiveness.

"This wipes the slate clean? No going to them and making them pay the same price?" I had to make sure.

"Of course not. That was the deal." Both voice and eyes agreed.

"But you wouldn't care about the deal if I was dead… Oh. That makes so much more sense."

Everything finally clicked into place. I finally understood what the Colonel… No, the _Commander_ had been trying to do. I had misjudged her.

"What does?"

"You've been trying to kill me for years. That's why the assignments got stepped up. You were hoping the exhaustion would make me sloppy so I'd get killed. Only I didn't die. I'm too stubborn. So you started adding those _requirements_. This person in this manner, this place, this time… Anything that would increase the difficulty. Only I didn't die. You must have been losing your temper. So if the thugs and the criminals and the terrorists couldn't kill me… Why not get your dogs to do it? Why not get the Preventers to kill me? Ingenious. I'm impressed."

"You never were very good at following orders."

"Yeah, well. I have problems with authority figures." I didn't let my understanding show in my voice. Only in my eyes, "Especially since they told me to _die_ four times. You didn't tell me I had to die. I don't interpret orders like everyone else. I'm not the Perfect Soldier. I don't self-destruct."

"You weren't allowed to." She understood that I knew.

"True enough. You even took that away. But they're safe now. I do this last little thing. And they're safe? For ever and ever?"

"You aren't afraid we'll get one of them to do your job?"

"You've been trying to kill me for two years. You don't want an assassin running around anymore. You don't need one. I'm just a broken tool. An _unneeded_ tool. Something to get rid of. And even if you did need one… You can't take Heero. Relena would be upset. Wufei's married. No one would believe that that guy would run. Quatre going missing would be noticed. And he'd kick up a fuss if Trowa vanished. No. I kept my part of the bargain. I do this last little thing… And it all just goes away. They stay safe." A fair deal to me.

"Agreed. You have two weeks, starting from tomorrow. You can choose what you do with them, how you organise your will, etc. And when you die."

"Not like there's much to do. The Preventers have all my stuff in custody. I own nothing else. You'll have your story. Don't worry. I'll be dead in two weeks."

"Good boy. This would have been so much easier…"

"If I could read between the lines? Yeah. Well. Never was too good at that. Just this last little thing to do and you won't have to worry about me ever again."

"Goodbye Oh-Two." Not an insult as I had always thought. Instead she had been acknowledging my skill. Acknowledging that I was a Gundam Pilot. A warrior. A threat.

"Rot in hell, Colonel." She heard the compliment in my tone. She saw the acknowledgement in my eyes.

"You first."

"I'll see you there."

She left. I would see her again in hell. Where we would both end up. One a Demon. The other a human, condemned by her good intentions.

She had not been my enemy. She, like Jun, had been disgusted that others were using me for their own political and personal gains. I could tell. But, unlike Jun, she had known that the others would never let me go. So she had tried to get me killed. In such a manner that they others would just assume that I wasn't as good as they had thought.

And when Jun had… gone… his protection lost, putting me at risk from Tanner… She had known of only one way to ensure that I didn't suffer. I had to die.

She was trying to protect me. She had been trying to end the conspiracy for at least two years. Maybe longer. I didn't know. But her only option to end the conspiracy and not tarnish the Preventers' reputation was for me to die.

Only I was too stubborn. I had a reason to keep on surviving. So she had been forced to drastic measures. And stepped them up even further when my sanity was on the line.

She hadn't been the Colonel all those years. She'd been the Commander. The perfect balance of the Lady and the Colonel.

I was crying when Quatre came in after the Commander left. Pre-emptive guilt.

Quatre would probably have nightmares for the rest of his life. Because of what I would do. It would be my brains splashed all over his face. Because I would have to go through the motions. I would have to make it _look_ real.

Quatre would have to be my hostage. He was too kind to actually try and escape. He'd try to talk me out of it. The others would take me down. _Without_ killing me. Quatre wouldn't even try. He'd be too worried that he'd hurt me.

But I couldn't escape then. I wasn't strong enough. I could barely walk. But I would in two weeks.

I would _have_ to.

I wished that I could spare Quatre what would happen. That I could knock him out and carry him. But I could barely support my own weight. Never mind someone else's. Quatre would have to suffer the memories of what I did. I could probably whisper an apology right at the end.

I hoped that it would not be one of the others that would have to take the shot. I would _not_ fracture the close friendships they shared.

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I can't quite remember when I first started coughing. But as it got worse, I put it down to a bad cold. Something I had picked up in the hospital.

I do remember when I knew it was serious. Wufei was watching over me. I think he was reading something called 'The Redemption of Althalus'.

I started a large coughing fit. They had been coming more and more common over the previous two days.

The coughing made the constant pain in my chest worse, causing me to be basically senseless. So I nearly jumped out of my skin, when hands came from behind me to pull me up from my doubled over position to lean against a solid chest.

"Easy," Fei murmured, "It's just me."

I relaxed into the hold. No need to fight. No strength to fight either. Like I said, I would take whatever they were willing to give. It was selfish. And I should have told them that I knew they were acting. But I was allowed to pretend. Wasn't I? It wasn't lying. It was just… pretending.

"Here." Fei held out a glass of water in front of me. His other arm still wrapped around my middle. Judging by the position we were both in, Fei had climbed into the bed to help me.

I reached out with both hands to grasp the glass. But Fei didn't let go. Instead he let me guide his hand and the glass, providing the strength that I could not muster at that moment, still weak from the coughing fit.

Fei refused to let me gulp the water down. Only allowing me small sips.

"No more." I breathed, after about thirty seconds.

"Alright." Fei removed the glass from my direct line of sight. I leant back against my brother, laying my head on his shoulder so that I could stare at the ceiling.

I frowned slightly, when Wufei gasped and grabbed my wrists, jerking and twisting them to a position of his choosing. I didn't fight him. I didn't see any point.

"Duo," Wufei sounded like he was one part accusing, two parts gentling a wild animal, "How long have you been coughing up blood?"

"What?" I jerked away from him, "I am?"

"You didn't know?"

"No." I stared at my hands, noticing the slightly smeared blood on the palms.

My heart started to race. My breathing became panicked.

I don't know why.

Every member of my family I've ever seen die, always was coughing up blood near the end. Solo. Sister Helen. There were others as well.

But dying would solve everything. I was going to die anyway. So why not like that? Why was I scared of dying?

Why was I scared?

"It's going to be okay." Fei pulled me back into his arms. Gentle. Comforting. I closed my eyes and wondered when Sister Helen had decided to possess Wufei. Because he was definitely channelling her.

He just held me. Until barely ten seconds after he had pulled me back into a hug a nurse entered the room.

"Get me Doctor Sally Po, now!" Wufei barked, "Tell her it's Duo and it's serious."

"Serious?" The word almost caught in my throat.

"I'm not sure." Wufei started to stroke my braid, "But I do know that blood in sputum is not a good sign. So Sally'll check you over."

"Okay." I surrendered. No point in fighting. I wasn't going anywhere.

Sally arrived and it seemed that a crowd of doctors followed in her wake. There had to be a delay, because I recall her calling them. But they arrived so quickly and surrounded me so thoroughly that I felt like I was besieged.

Wufei had been swept away in the flow of white coats. I couldn't even see him anymore. Surrounded by doctors. And with no visible backup… I started to panic, again.

A sharp and sudden prick in my arm caused me to jerk my head to face my attacker. It was Sally, carefully emptying a syringe into me. I tried to fight the drug I could feel coursing through me. Sally removed the needle. A gentle smile was on her face, even as she gently stroked the injection site.

I tried to keep adrenaline flowing in my body. But it was in vain. It must have been a strong dose, because afterwards everything sounded as if it was a long way away. And my brain was of cotton wool. Despite my fear, I relaxed. I just couldn't fight the drug. A strange sort of detached calmness spread over me like a warm blanket. All comforting and cosy.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Sally interrupted all the talk, "_If_ I may point out, the patient is still in the room. Would you _please_ not cause him to panic? I am sure that you were taught not to unduly stress a patient. Would you kindly remember your lessons?"

If it had been eight years ago, at hearing her words, I would had said something. A snappy retort. A sharp rebuke. But I just said nothing.

I just didn't have the will to fight. I didn't have the strength either, but that was a long standing thing, by that point.

It was as if Sally had robbed me of everything I had left in my willpower reserves with that one drug. I am fairly certain that had the others asked anything of me at that point I would have answered.

But as it was, they didn't get a chance. All I did was lie on a bed, while numerous doctors, interns and medical students rushed around organising test after test after test.

When they were finished, I was hooked back up to a heart monitor, oxygen cannula and an IV. I didn't understand why. One of the doctors, and I don't know who but I suspect Sally, had injected me with a second sedative. I fell asleep. I didn't even know what I had.

"They think it's the L2 Plague." Trowa informed me when I woke up. He spoke quietly so as not to disturb the others, who were lying on every available piece of furniture around the room, all fast asleep.

I almost burst out laughing. I was going to die of the same thing that killed Solo. The circle would be complete.

"Sally's managed to get the cure." Trowa whispered.

"It won't work." I told him.

"We're not letting you die, Duo."

"You don't have a choice." I shrugged, "It didn't save all the gang. Why would it save me?"

I didn't deserve to live after all. Too much blood stained my hands. Too many black marks on my soul. I was a Demon. And condemned to Hell. I was Maxwell's Demon. I was the God of Death. It was time I died. It was time for my shadow to leave the Earth. Making it a brighter place.

I knew I was dying. And I didn't mind.

It wasn't the grand final scene that the Commander had wanted me to orchestrate. But she wouldn't mind. Serial vigilante killed by a disease he contracted in his childhood? No one would blame anyone. The final chapter in the book of my life was almost over. I could sleep. I could rest. I could die.

The other Pilots barely ever left my side.

They kept on telling me to fight. That I had to fight the disease. That I had to stay alive. I never told them that I was looking forward to death. But I think they knew.

Heero was the most instant that I fight. He spent most of the time sitting by my bed. Usually holding my hand. I didn't understand why. He hated me. Didn't he? But his grip was caring and gentle. I didn't bother pulling free. Why fight?

Everyone else was asleep, and I was half-way there, one night when he whispered:

"You can't die, Duo. I love you."

"You don't know what that means." I was kind in my tone. But I told the truth.

"I do!" He was shocked and indignant.

"No, you don't." I lazily shook my head, "But that doesn't matter. You'll learn. Relena'll teach you."

I fell asleep before Heero could reply. But I knew it was the truth. Heero didn't love me. And he didn't understand love either. But Relena did. She would show him. She was showing him. Only he was too stubborn to see. After all that was what the Foreign Minister had said. And the Foreign Minister never lied.

It only took three days. And I wasn't in any pain. I was so doped up on drugs that I probably wouldn't have felt it if someone had stuck a knife into me and twisted it.

But I did feel my heart-rate increase dramatically…

And then I just drifted into sleep.

Surrounded by those whom I cared for.

Not a bad way to die, all told.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Jak'idiot – Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it, even if you were almost crying.

Leora Chan – Right, I have: ten hard copies of the photos; six copies saved on random places on the internet; two on my hard drive; three snap-drives with copies hidden; five CDs burnt; a copy on my MP3; and I gave the original memory card to Duo… So how long before the others destroy all my copies? Glad you enjoyed the chapter.

Raelyn-Mage – Getting a little protective of Duo are we? Nice to know you enjoyed the chapter.

Arialee – You're welcome. Glad you like it.

Toraus – Thanks. I'm pleased you enjoyed it.

Wind Dancer1981 – Thank you.

Katerina Shinigami – Poor Duo. I really am picking on him. And about the crochet… Don't let the cats at it. Mine always ruins anything fabric I try to do, unless I keep a close eye on him.

Elfl – Wait and see. I am. This story keeps on adding twists that _I_ didn't see coming. My sub-conscious is working independently of my brain. I am glad you're enjoying it though.

Whitetiger1589 – Sorry, but you'll have to wait. We are getting closer though. Nice to know you like this.

Hellfire – Are you part Chinese Amazon? You're glomp is very good. Thanks for the pie!

Katsumadarkness – *Shudders with you* I think the worst stories are those with no new lines, so you can never puzzle out who is speaking or what. I always loose my way in the text.

Lilly – Stop channelling Wufei! He's supposed to be helping me! Glad you liked the last chapter.

Bunch-o-Nuts – This story is basically an experiment for me. I'm glad you're enjoying it. And thanks for your review. Also, once again… the muse cut me off. I really need to find better muse treats.

Thank you to all my reviewers, once again.


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Duo's POV – Cont.

I awoke.

I shouldn't of. I was dead.

I was lying in a clean, warm and comfortable bed. The area was lightly lit, providing light, but not blinding me. Everything smelt clean. But I couldn't smell antiseptic so I wasn't in the hospital.

I saw a figure sitting by the bed. Golden hair, almost glowing in the dim light. Pale skin.

"I'm not meant to be here." I tried to say, but my words were slurred.

"Why not?" The angel asked gently, obviously understanding me, despite the slurring.

"Demons don't belong in heaven." I replied.

A gentle laugh. Like sunshine through the rain.

"Oh my friend," the words were tinged with sadness, but also with love, "You are no Demon. You will _always_ have a place in heaven. But you are not dead yet."

Finally I placed the voice. Sweet little Quatre.

I wasn't dead.

I wanted to scream. To curse. To shout to the highest heavens.

Why wouldn't they let me die? Why couldn't I die? I had done everything asked of me. Didn't I deserve to be allowed to rest?

"Only Trowa, Sally and I know you're alive." Quatre told me, his hand almost unconsciously stroking my braid.

My traitorous body moved slightly closer. Desiring the touch. I didn't really fight it. What was the point?

I wasn't really paying attention to Quatre's words. They weren't sinking in.

They didn't sink in when Trowa told me.

Nor when Sally repeated it.

I was supposed to be dead. I couldn't understand why I was still alive.

I didn't speak at first. At least verbally.

But then again, my body language was shouting loud enough for them to hear. Quatre kept on pulling me into the hugs I needed. He kept on saying the words I needed to hear. He kept on providing the comfort I wanted. He kept on being the brother I needed and wanted and desired.

Trowa was much the same. Being as affectionate as he had been on L2, when I was still running and hiding. And more so. After all, I had nowhere to run to. No way to escape the comfort. And no real reason to, either.

The only problem was that they kept on asking who had 'reduced' me to 'this'. I couldn't tell them that it wasn't anyone. I still had a little bit of Pride left. I hadn't been 'reduced' to anything. I had _always_ been at that level.

I wouldn't tell them about the Conspirators either. I would not. I could not. They would be hurt. They would feel betrayed.

I didn't deserve their friendship. Their brotherhood. For all that I craved it.

They deserved to have their friendships undisturbed. Both with each other, and with those members of the Conspiracy.

I would not get in the way.

"Please, Duo." Quatre asked me after almost a day, "Just tell me you're okay."

"Why couldn't you let me die?" I whispered, trying to hold back the tears.

"What?" Quatre stared at me.

"I want to sleep," I almost pleaded, "I want to rest. Just let me die. Let me _sleep_!"

"Oh Duo!" Quatre pulled me into a hug and held me like I was a small child. I didn't fight. I wanted what he was freely giving.

"I deserve to _die_!" I murmured. And I broke. My emotional control shattered into a million pieces.

A hand started to rub my back in a comforting manner.

"No you don't, my friend." Quatre replied, "You deserve to live. To be happy. To heal. To be free. Death is not for you, yet. You will live a long and happy life."

I felt all the tension in my body abandon me. All my strength as well. I was barely holding onto consciousness.

"How is he?" I heard Trowa ask.

"He thinks he deserved to die." Quatre's voice was broken and grieving, "Allah! He thinks he's condemned to Hell! If ever there was someone going to Paradise…"

"He's scared and confused," Trowa reminded, "He's not the Duo we remember."

"Why doesn't he believe us?" Quatre almost demanded, "He behaves as if he thinks we're all lying to him."

"Brainwashing," I could almost _hear_ Trowa's shrug, "Who knows what they told him over the years. Who knows what lies he was told over and over and over again. With no one there to tell him the truth…"

"He had no choice but to believe." Quatre's voice was barely audible, "Allah, why him? Why him? He'd been through so much already. It's a miracle he doesn't hate us."

I had deserved it. Couldn't Quatre see that? And I could never hate them. They were too… _pure_ to be hated.

"He's all alone in the darkness," Quatre murmured, "And he doesn't even know that the light exists. We should have been there."

"Yes," Trowa didn't pull his punch, "But we weren't. And we're here now. And that's how it's going to stay."

"And no stubborn, fool-hardy, brave, loving, caring, self-sacrificing _idiot_! Is going to change that." Quatre declared. "We'll fix this. We've got to."

"Do you think he might try to kill himself?" Trowa asked after a pause.

"In the heat of battle, he definitely wouldn't guard himself." Quatre's voice was resigned, but also protective, "He probably, also, wouldn't stop someone else from killing him. But he wouldn't take his own life. Duo wouldn't do that."

I could feel Trowa's gaze on me. I knew he didn't believe Quatre. And I wasn't sure that he was right not to. Right then, I didn't know if I could commit suicide even if someone presented me with a loaded gun with which to do it. However I also didn't know that I _wouldn't_!

I think I fell asleep not long after that. They didn't talk anymore about their fears where I could hear. But they had left me with something to consider…

I had been _Brainwashed_?

What was the lie?

What was the truth?

Who were the liars?

I just didn't know.

I couldn't be sure anymore.

I didn't know what the truth was.

I didn't know what the lies were.

What was the lie?

What was the truth?

Nothing was clear.

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I knew the others were going to be informed about my recovery. So I wasn't too surprised to hear Fei greet me as I woke, the next day.

"Your turn to try?" I asked.

"My turn to explain," Explain what? What was there to say? "Duo, I understand that you're trying to protect us. That your Honour demands that we are kept safe. However you are unaware of a few details."

"Which are?" He didn't think _I _knew all the facts? I knew more than he did.

"We now _know_ that a conspiracy exists." Wufei began.

I listened to his speech. He meant every word… At least I thought he did. I couldn't be sure of anything anymore.

"Please, my friend. Don't make us suffer like this."

The last two sentences hurt. He said 'Please'. He said 'Friend'. Since when had he known my Price?

I don't know if it was the right words at the right time. Or whether it simply was that I couldn't muster the strength of will to refuse him. Either way, he won. But I didn't think he'd like the prize.

"I want your word, Wufei. I want you to swear on your Honour that you will not kill, nor allow the person you are automatically going to blame for this to die." I wouldn't let him hurt himself.

"You have it my friend." He was surprised, I could tell, but he still promised.

"I want your word that you will uphold both the spirit and the letter of that promise." I had to make sure.

"Of course my friend."

"Alright." I couldn't look at him, "I'll tell you the nature of the threat. I can't…. I can't do this twice Wufei. Please don't make me." The truth. I could barely muster the strength to stab Wufei with this dagger once. I would _never_ manage to do it a second.

"I understand, Duo." There was a strange mixture of disappointment and satisfaction in his voice. I couldn't figure it out.

"Please, swear it for me." I needed to hear the words. The words that would make it real.

"I swear on my word and my Honour," Fei intoned, "That I will not kill nor allow the person I will initially blame for this to die. I swear to keep both the spirit and letter of this vow."

It was sufficient. It covered everything. Just like Fei, to complete a job to perfection. Going above and beyond what was necessary.

He would rather die than break his word. And he couldn't die without breaking his word. I had him trapped.

"Loophole in our War Crimes Pardon." I said, "If any of us bear weapons against the UESN all our pardons become null and void."

I didn't need to say anything else. I watched as Wufei put the pieces together.

He stormed out the room. I guess I was lucky that he didn't lash out at me. Then again, Fei never was one for hitting a down man. As long as I was injured, I was safe.

Or was I always safe?

I couldn't tell. Over the days and weeks I had been healing some of the happier memories had come back, but I could still counter each happy memory with at least two sad ones.

I didn't know what to think.

I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know what to feel.

I didn't even know why my cheeks felt damp.

I don't know how long I spent trying to figure everything out. But I know I didn't manage to.

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I knew the others would come. I knew Wufei would tell them. I knew they would want more information. I knew I shouldn't give it to them.

But Father Maxwell… Sister Helen… _Solo_, help me! I could barely even look at them when they entered silently.

They were so close… so very close… to finding out _everything_ I had done. And they would hate me. I knew that.

They only knew about the guilty and the few innocents who had been unfortunate enough to cross my path. My crimes were far greater in number than that.

"Duo." Quatre's soft voice tried to coax me towards them, "We understand. We thank you. We still think you're a stupid idiot for doing what you did. You should have come to us. But then again, we should have realized you had your reasons. We should have been more open, so that you felt that you could come to us. Not wrapped up in our own little worlds. We're sorry. We need to fix this. We need to know who."

"What if I make everything worse?" I knew if I looked at them, I wouldn't be able to deny them anything. Not after everything. "What if I make everything worse?"

"We know there are daggers aimed at our backs. We need to know where from. We can't live constantly on guard, Duo. We can't. Not any more. We need to know. I can't play Caesar to their Brutus, Duo." No, Wufei didn't understand. _I_ was Brutus.

"But… You know some of them… I don't want to destroy your friendships… Your lives!" They needed to know what this could do to them.

"If they are truly our friends," Sweet little Quatre spoke again. The face of an angel. Mind as sharp as my knives, "Then they wouldn't be threatening us. Remember that lesson you taught me on L4?"

"Which one?" I had taught him a great many lessons on L4.

"The difference between true friends and fair-weather friends." The gentle voice carried on, "Or as you put it… Your gang and a grass. Better we learn now, before they complete their threats than when they carry them out."

They had won. Hell, they had won the moment I had given in and looked at them… No, they had won the moment I had told Wufei the reason I had kept away… Or was it when I woke in this room for the first time?… Or when I saw them cry in my delirium?

I didn't know. All I knew was that I had lost.

"Claudia Mann. Karla Stone. Quinton Nielsen. Hung Tanner. Mizuno Toshino. Bahadur Isa…. And… The Foreign Minister."

The Foreign Minister. Not Relena. _Never_ Relena.

"Could you repeat the last name, Duo?" Quatre murmured.

"The Foreign Minister." I couldn't look at them.

"Relena?" I flinched from the name. I could not determine the speaker, the tone was so low and shocked. It could have been anyone.

"Are you sure?" Wufei doubted me. I knew they all did. He was simply the only one who voiced the doubt.

"How did the current Foreign Minister gain her post?" If I was telling the truth… I would tell the whole truth… I would take their hate.

"Relena, was the Vice-Foreign Minister. When the Foreign Minister, Nickolas Ramirez, died, she was elected to his post." Trowa answered. I could hear the confusion in his voice from the question.

"How did he die?" I could just say it. The words caught in my throat every time I tried.

"Of natural causes," Quatre began. I heard when he realized what I was trying to say, "Oh Duo! You didn't! You didn't!" I expected to be hit. To be yelled at. Not to be pulled into a tight hug.

"He wasn't on the list." Wufei was confused.

"Blacker than black. I was to commit the deed then forget I ever did. There were a few like that. Things I was to never confess to. Even under torture."

I couldn't look at them. But I didn't have to. Quatre's embrace allowed me to hide from the glares I knew they were levelling at me. Even though I could not feel them.

"Didn't the other leading candidate also die?" I flinched as Heero spoke.

"Giovanni Bush was too popular. He… was too much competition." I don't know why I couldn't come right out and confess to these crimes. It was as if I didn't want them to know the full extent of the crimes I had committed. It was probably true. I wanted their respect. But if they knew… I would only earn their disgust.

"Allah!" I couldn't understand how Quatre could bear to touch me. I was disgusting. I was dirty. I was a criminal. And yet he still held me as if I were an innocent child. He stroked my braid in an attempt to comfort me.

"What about the attempted assassination of Relena?" I could hear the fear in Sally's voice as she asked.

"I hit what I was aiming at. She wanted the sympathy votes. She wanted to win by a land-slide…"

I couldn't understand why that was easier to admit to. It had been the hardest mission to complete emotionally. Why was it easier to talk about? Was it because no one had died?

"Oh, Duo!" The deceptively frail looking arms tightened around me. And a second weight appeared on the bed. I guessed it was Trowa, by the way it took up a matching guard to Quatre.

"Relena gave you those orders?" Wufei didn't understand. It was the Foreign Minister. Not Relena. But I couldn't just say that.

"From her lips to Death's ears. I think Dorothy Catalonia is involved. But I have no proof. I have had no interaction with her." To be honest, I only thought that, because when I had been making that shot at Relena, Dorothy had been looking at Relena with eyes that looked like they belonged on a cat that is staring at another cat that got both the mouse and the cream.

Admiration. Respect. Awe. A thousand other words could describe what I saw. But only one explanation that I could think of.

Suddenly I couldn't see clearly. My vision was blurred. I was finding it hard to breathe. But I kept silent. I knew I was crying.

I couldn't stop. Only years of living on the streets… years of terror… instincts so old that they predated memories allowed me the dignity of not sobbing and wailing.

I let myself surrender to my emotions. I cried onto Quatre's shoulder and felt Trowa's hands support me.

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I don't know how long I cried for. I don't know what the others thought of me. I don't really want to know. After all, I was always the weakest out of us. And the most pathetic. They wouldn't have left me behind during the Rebellion, if they didn't believe that.

I knew it was at least partially the truth, when I woke up alone. Over the next few days it would become a common condition. I shouldn't have been surprised. It wasn't like I hadn't spent the last seven _years_ waking up alone.

But damn it! It hurt! It reopened old wounds. It cut deep into my soul. Ever since I had woken up in the hospital they had not left me alone, while I was conscious, until I had told Fei the nature of the threat.

It was almost as if they were punishing me for telling. I knew it wasn't true. They didn't think like that. But it still felt that way. And they kept on asking about what I had done in the seven years, beyond the murders.

And when they started leaving me alone during the day, with very little to do… It felt even worse.

It got worse still, when one day they just vanished for nearly eight hours without checking up on me.

But that was nothing compared to what the pain felt like, when I realized what had happened.

One of the wall-screens in the flat started broadcasting what was going on in Quatre's office. The Foreign Minister and the Commander were trying to find a secret passage, judging by their conversation. It was sort of funny watching them pull every book off the shelves.

I watched, fascinated, as they started to make a phone call.

But my heart caught in my throat when I saw who was on the other end… Or rather the condition they were in.

It wasn't that they were injured, just that they were restrained. And when I learnt that there was a bomb…

I wasn't going to let them die for me.

I had no doubts that the bomb was real. Lady; Colonel; Commander… Une rarely said a word that she didn't mean. Even if a different personality despised it. Although she did bluff occasionally, I doubted she was this time.

And yes, she may have stated that I would die in the worst possible way she could find, but I knew that she knew that the worst way for me to die, would be waiting to die, because the others had died first. When that suffering had gone on long enough… She would let me die quickly. If not painlessly. I understood her, at long last.

I didn't bother trying to work out how they had known I was still alive. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that they knew… and they were threatening the others.

I knew roughly where I was. I knew I could stop the whole thing, just by making my way out of the flat.

But I couldn't move. They didn't know I was listening. At least I didn't think they did. Yet they were still defending me. They were still calling me their brother.

I didn't understand.

Hadn't they given up on finding me nearly six years ago? Hadn't they stopped looking?

What was the truth?

What was the lie?

I stared as they called me brother. As they teased and joked and _infuriated_ both the Foreign Minister and the Commander. As they defended me. As they praised me. As they ignored the threat.

I didn't know what they were doing. I couldn't make the connection between the men I was seeing on the screen, and the boys I had known. It was as if I had never met them. I knew their faces. But not their reactions. Not their words.

It was if they had had complete personality transplants.

Apart from Quatre. He hadn't changed much. Just a bit more fire.

But I still couldn't let them die.

I knew there were tears pouring down my face. I could taste the salt.

I didn't care if it was a lie. It was better than what I had believed for six, nearly seven years.

My voice was choked as I finished Wufei's quote. I knew the words. I had learnt them so many years ago from a man I would always call Father. It's a Bible quote. Back then, I had thought I knew what it meant.

I didn't.

And I never had. Until that moment. When I realized that despite everything I had been told for seven years… They loved me.

And I loved them.

Nothing else mattered. _Nothing_!

It didn't matter if they had stopped looking.

It didn't matter if they hadn't missed me.

They loved me. And they would die for me.

The Conspirators had thought seven years ago, that I was loyal to them. I wasn't. I never was. I was loyal to those I loved. But now they were in danger. Because of me.

"I'm sorry." I had been saying that a lot, "But I can't let you die. Not for me."

"Ah," The Commander seemed to smirk, but I could see the relief in her eyes. "Oh-Two. So you were listening. Where are you?"

"Right where you thought I was. At least six feet under." The words were hard to say. They kept on getting caught in my throat.

"Funny, Oh-Two." The Commander barely reacted. "You broke your word."

"Not by choice." An apology for the Commander, more than recriminations against the others.

"You don't have to do this Duo." Quatre was almost begging me, "Don't do this. Please."

"I made my choice seven years ago, Cat. I sold my soul seven years ago. No refunds. No take-backs. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you… Any of you." And I would not allow them to be hurt either.

"How do we get to you?" The Foreign Minister was abrupt.

"I don't know." And I didn't. I knew there was a passageway, but not where. I couldn't quite keep the tremor out of my voice though. If the Foreign Minister lost her temper completely, I wouldn't have a reason to live anymore.

"You don't know?" Relena sneered.

"I was unconscious." I was trying to keep a brave face. I couldn't let her know that she unnerved me, "I haven't left here since I pulled a Lazarus. I'm not exactly in the best of conditions."

"Mister Winner?" The Commander didn't need to vocalize the rest of the question.

"You couldn't get down even if I told you how." Quatre was smug, "There's only two people in the whole Sphere who can grant access to that room. Trowa and I. And we have to be present."

Well, that was a useful piece of information. Bio-locks were the obvious conclusion.

"You kinda shot yourself in the foot there." Sally almost laughed

"Duo is confined in the safe-room." Trowa picked his words, "We did not adjust the locks so that he could leave the room."

That didn't mean I couldn't. Only that I would have to pick the locks somehow.

"And even if they had," Wufei laughed slightly, "He's still recovering. I doubt he could even make his way to you."

Again, true. But if I had to. I had to. Therefore I would. It was as simple as that.

"He will or you will die. And then he will die. I think the most painful method for him would be for me to lock him in a room with some of the men he killed second in command, and make sure that they are aware of it."

The Commander wouldn't do that. I knew that. She would make it quick. Out of respect.

"I'll come." I closed my eyes in apparent resignation. Inwardly my mind was racing. I needed a plan.

I heard the Foreign Minister's voice, then Heero's raised in anger. But I didn't pay attention to the words. They were a distraction I could ill afford… No, a distraction my _brothers_ could ill afford.

"I love him!" Heero's next yell was too loud to ignore. The words were wrong. I knew what he meant. He didn't mean 'love'. He mean '_in_ love'.

"No you don't." I wouldn't allow this to go any further, "You're infatuated. And I don't know why. You barely tolerated me. When did I become… some sort of golden… sacred… idol? I don't know you anymore. I don't think I know any of you anymore."

It was hard to explain. But I didn't lie. I didn't know them. And even Cat kept on doing little things that were out of character. Antagonising the enemy.

"Have we truly changed that much, Duo?" Wufei sounded shocked and maybe slightly scared.

"Yes." I replied, quickly adding, "And that's a good thing. But I don't know you anymore. And you don't know me. Let me do this."

"We're not worth the price you insist on paying. The price you've already paid was too high. The price you are trying to pay is too high as well. We do not deserve it." Couldn't Cattie see? Couldn't he understand? They were worth it.

"But can't you guys see?" I tried to tell them, "You are worth it. If one miserable, little, corrupted, diseased, stained, torn soul can be used to save six bright, shiny, innocent souls… I call that a bargain. And a price I have to pay. A price I am more than willing to pay."

"There is no stain on your soul that does not similarly stain ours." Wufei quietly protested, "You are no less than any of us. We were comrades. We were brothers in arms. We are no different to each other."

"No," I had to do what I had to do. And I had to make them understand, "I am very different. You all fought for Noble reasons. For Justice. As it was the Right thing. For Duty. For Peace. I fought for Revenge. I dug two graves, Wufei. I just have not been allowed to lie down in mine. Please, let me do what I have to do."

Why wouldn't they let me? I knew they loved me… But they would still have each other. It was becoming harder and harder for my brain to concentrate.

"No," Quatre argued, "You fought so that there would be no more War Orphans. So that others would not have to suffer as you did. You fought for Noble reasons. Do not put yourself down, brother. Please. Don't do this."

"I'm a thief!" Screw my Pride. They had to understand just who and what I was, "I stole Deathscythe! Before the start of Operation Meteor. I became a Pilot, because I snuck on board a Sweeper ship, and was found in the larder. My gang survived the Plague, Sally, because I stole the cure."

"You… stole it?" Sally was shocked, "But it was being given…"

"To those who had the money to pay. That's how it works on L2, Sal." It was a harsh lesson, but one Sally needed to know, "Not the shiny, bright image that you have. Only I didn't steal enough. Solo died because I was one short. He made me give it to another. To Pip."

"And you wouldn't sacrifice your own dose?" The Foreign Minister sneered.

"I didn't need one," I shrugged, "I wasn't sick. I didn't need a dose. I didn't use one. But I killed Solo. Because I couldn't count fast enough."

"You should have died on the streets with them." The Foreign Minister stated. And she probably was right, though Heero disagreed with her.

"Don't you dare say that!" He growled.

"Duo," Trowa interrupted, "You said six souls. There's only five of us here."

Opps! I hadn't meant to let that slip. It had been while I was still in the hospital. Sally had come in to check my vitals. Cattie had fallen asleep. And I wasn't far behind him.

I remember what she said:

"Duo. Come on, kid. You've got to get better. You've got to tell us who did this to you. The others need you. _I_ need you. I need your help. How do I tell Wufei? How do I tell him that I'm pregnant? How? You would know. You always seem to know just what to say. So come on, kid. Help us out here?"

I hadn't. I just hadn't been able to.

I think someone else spoke while I was caught up in my thoughts, but it didn't matter.

"No, Tro," I shook my head as I spoke, though I doubted that they could see me, "You're counting wrong. Isn't that right, Sally?"

"How did you…?" The shock on Sally's face was a picture. The others were confused, apart from Tro. He understood what I hadn't quite said.

"I wasn't always asleep, Sal." I shrugged, "I listened. Whatever the hell you do, do not name it after me."

"Sally's pregnant?" And I had thought Sal's face was a picture. Cattie's beat hers by a mile.

Fei actually fainted at Quatre's words. I nearly laughed.

"You can't do this, Duo." Heero ordered.

"I have to. You just don't get it, do you?" He didn't understand.

"Get what?" Trowa spoke up.

"I've lost three families," The memories tried to drown me, but I forced them back behind the dam, "Once before I remembered them. Once to the Plague. Once to the Massacre. I will not loose a fourth. Please, let me do what I have to do."

"Duo," Quatre begged, "Please understand, if you do this we will probably not see you again. We don't want to lose you."

"You shame us, Maxwell. Your love for us is no greater than our love for you. We do not wish to lose you."

"Sometimes you don't get a choice Fei," Wufei's words made me smile through my tears, "I made my choice seven years ago. You know I don't lie. I would do anything to keep all of you safe. My soul? Not a high price. Always knew I was going to hell, anyway. I'm a demon, after all."

"Don't you say that!" Heero shouted, "You are one of the kindest people I know. I could never love a demon. And I. Love. You."

"But that's what they called me," The memories were trying to drown me again, "I am the God of Death. Anyone I care for seems to die. If I can do something to stop that I will. No matter what the price."

"You can't." Heero protested, "I love you."

"You seem to be stuck on that. When did it happen? I left. You hated my guts then. We would only really work well together on missions. You never talked to me, unless you had to. You never did or said anything that would imply that you cared for me in anything other than a valuable resource! As something to use and dispose of as necessary. I'll never know why you chose to rescue me from Barge, rather than kill me. Guess you made up for it during the Rebellion."

"I love you." Heero said the three words again. The words that hurt me.

"You punched me and left me!" I screamed, "Is that your love? Use me and lose me? You don't understand what love is!"

"And you do?" Heero's tone wasn't mocking. More concerned… Worried.

"No," I confessed, "I understand some types of love. Love for a friend. Love for a comrade in arms. Love for a brother. Love for a mother. Love for a father. I understand love for a child. But no… Love for a lover… I don't understand at all."

"Then let me teach you." The words were gentle, the tone not matching up with the boy I had known.

"How can you? You don't understand either." Why couldn't he see that?

"As touching as this is, Oh-Two, you will come here at once!" I was almost relieved to hear the Commander's order. Something to do. Something to drive the thoughts out of my head.

"He's injured!"

"He can barely walk!"

"Leave him alone!"

"You have no Honour."

I heard the protests from the others. But I couldn't see them. My tears shrouded my eyes. I wasn't surprised that Trowa didn't say anything. He understood. I didn't know how. But the tallest of them, understood me.

"It will take me some time," I managed to keep my voice level as I dashed my tears from my eyes, "The locks aren't the easiest."

"You will come here!" The Foreign Minister ordered.

"And you will tell the Maganacs where the others are?" I needed to know. I needed it confirmed.

"If you do as you are told!" The Foreign Minister agreed, "And come here!"

"I have no intention of disobeying that order, Foreign Minister." My voice was weak, I shouldn't have yelled, "I'm sorry, guys. But you must understand… I won't let anyone harm you. Please understand, I have to do what I have to do. And I will do anything to keep you safe."

"No, Duo!" The cry came from several throats at once.

Once again, Trowa was the only one who didn't speak. But his eyes were far more expressive than his voice. He was resigned, but also grieving.

"Remember Fei," My voice wouldn't stay level as I said my final words to them, "Don't you dare name the baby after me. And it's been an Honour, Chang Wufei. Sally, I wish you well. Cat?"

"Yes Duo?" Quatre's voice was choked with tears. And I hated that I was the one putting them there.

"Don't cry," I smiled despite my tears, "Thank you. For being my brother and my friend. And probably the kindest person I know, alive.

"Trowa… Don't blame yourself. You did all you could. Just the cards were stacked against you. Thank you for giving me hope.

"Heero… I'm sorry. You just don't understand. You always were a noble knight. A Paladin. I shouldn't have yelled at you. You did what was necessary. So did I."

I had regretted my earlier words the moment I took breath afterwards. I had meant every word. But I had never meant to say it.

"All of you take care of yourselves." I finished. "I have to do, what I have to do. I won't let anyone harm you."

"Duo, don't you do this." Quatre begged, "Don't you do this to us. Please, Duo."

I took one last look at them. I knew what I had to do. I looked at their faces fixing the images into my mind. I would not forget.

"Colonel Une," I addressed the Commander, "If you could cut the connection? I would be very grateful. I am on my way."

My connection to the others was terminated.

But I had a plan.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Leora chan – *Hands over tissues* Thanks for the cake. And here's hoping Duo manages to keep a hold of the photos. I really do think the others are starting to wake up.

Raelyn-Mage – Yep! We keep on rolling. And Relena ain't gonna know what hit her. Glad you're enjoying this.

Katsumadarkness – Patience. It's pretty much new from here on in. And I'm pleased you like this.

Wind Dancer1981 – *Hands over tissues*

So-kun – Yeah, Une keeps on shifting on me. I'm getting confused as to what her score is.

Whitetiger1589 – Thanks for the correction, I think I've managed to get it everywhere. I never was too good at spelling. And somehow my spellchecker recognises _both_ versions as good. So I don't stand a chance. Nice to know you like this.

Arialee – I don't know whether to like or loathe Une. So I don't expect anyone else to in this story. Thanks for the review.

Katerina Shinigami – Yeah, Duo torture is fun! Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Hellfire – Muses are starting to stir. After their nap they should be well rested and raring to go.

Anonymous 25 – I hope I touched on your question in this chapter. Nice to know you like this story.

Kage Elric – This is my first time at writing yaoi, and I'm trying to keep it calm. I don't want to go overboard. I hope I continue to live up to your standards.

Thanks, once again, to all my reviewers.


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Duo's POV – Cont.

All the while I had been watching, listening and talking with the others, the Commander and the Foreign Minister, my brain had been racing to find an answer to the problem.

I had come up with a plan. It was fairly complicated. But it was basically very simple.

It boiled down to lessons I had learnt before I could really remember.

Lessons from the Street. Lessons learnt in the Ninth Circle of Hell.

If you want something that someone else has, you can steal it, fight for it or forget it.

If you have something that someone _else_ wants, you can hand it over, run away with it, fight for it, protect it or destroy it.

The problem was this… What the Conspiracy wanted was my brothers' silence… And I was the tool for that silence. Therefore I was what they wanted.

Well, I couldn't run. I had nowhere to go.

I was in no condition to fight.

I couldn't protect myself.

That only left two options: hand over or destroy.

I couldn't let the others be hurt. I had obeyed for years. To fail… was not an option.

Handing myself over would mean that they would have to live with the threat. Live with the fear. At any time they could be hurt… Because of me.

I would not let that happen.

That left only destruction.

But I couldn't do it yet. My brothers had to be rescued first.

So I would have to play along, for a little while.

But first I had to make sure that when I was destroyed… when I died, my brothers would know. I would not be used against them even in death.

So they had to find me.

That wouldn't be a problem. I was certain that Cattie, he of the innocent face, had planted a tracking device on me… _somewhere_. I was personally betting on a sub-dermal implanted GPS locator chip in the back of my neck. Hard to spot.

Judging by how they had been reacting… My brothers would follow me to the Ninth Circle of Hell and bring me back. I had to rely on that.

First they would need men. Well, that was easy. All I had to do was make sure that the Maganacs were told where Quatre was and that he was in trouble. They would cheerfully brave the Ninth Circle of Hell for their Master Quatre. Probably singing as they went and declaring that it was an Honour.

Next they would need transport. Billionaire or not, even Quatre couldn't lay his hands on fast vehicles that could carry forty plus men that easily. Well, I could fix that. I had a little time. I didn't need much.

I could move better than the others thought. Not much. But I could stagger in a vaguely upright position.

So I had explored a little. And I had found the radio.

Wasn't much, but it was hidden. And I was willing to bet that it wasn't commonly known about. Even better it was one of the BJT encrypted radios. The same type as the Sweepers use for private traffic. I still knew how to hack into the airwaves.

Only one group would pick up _my_ message.

"This is Baby Bear to Papa Bear. This is Baby Bear to Papa Bear. Come in Papa Bear."

"This is Mama Bear to Goldilocks. Go home. Baby Bear is dead. And Papa Bear don't want to talk to ya." I knew the voice. It was Josiah. Howie's right hand man. A big burly guy, who stopped a lot of the younger Sweepers from trying to take their anger out on me. And stopped me from attacking them when they insulted me.

"Now that ain't nice to say, Mama Bear," I laughed slightly. I couldn't really help it. I had no real bad memories associated with the Sweepers. "'Cos I'm Baby Bear. Rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. And I need Papa Bear."

"Prove it."

Oh Hell! I knew what he wanted. It was embarrassing. He had been half drunk and I had been half asleep when we came up with the proof.

"The ants went marching two by two. Hurrah! Hurrah!" I started to sing, "The ants went marching two by two. Hurrah! Hurrah! The ants went marching two by two, the little one stopped and a base he blew. And they all went marching for to get out of the rain."

"Da dum. Da dum." Josiah murmured, "One by one?"

"Clean his gun."

"Three by three?"

"Climb a tree."

"Four by four?"

"Knock on the door."

"Five by five?"

"Stay alive."

"Baby Bear is that really you?"

"You know it, Mama Bear. I need Papa Bear."

"Papa Bear here," Howie interrupted us, "You alright Baby?"

"Been better. Been worse." I was non-committal. "I bring a message from Peter Pan."

"What does the Kid want?" Howie understood. On that radio frequency, I was _always_ Baby Bear. But in person, I was Peter Pan. Okay, so I probably got a complex from talking about myself in the third person, but it worked.

"He's got a couple of Lost Boys and Wendy who need a pick up." I grinned, "You'd best get the Indian Chief to contact Little Boy Blue in about an hour and a half." That would give the Maganacs plenty of time to find Cattie.

I'd always associated Quatre with Little Boy Blue. Not because of the rhyme, really. The first book I had ever read was a book of children's rhymes that Sister Helen owned. It was old, but illustrated. I had loved that book. The first thought that had popped into my head when I had seen Quatre was:

'Little Boy Blue grew up!'

He looked, and still did, just like the illustration. Only older. And so he was named.

"Anything else, Baby?" Howie pressed.

"Grab Wendy's sister and Wendy's sister's best friend," I instructed, "_Before_ you contact Little Boy Blue. Take all of them to Neverland."

"Can you clarify, Baby?"

"Kitty Fisher and Georgie Porgie." I grinned at the nicknames I had given Noin and Zechs. It had been a long time ago. Most people who know me, know that I can quote the Bible backwards and forwards, despite not believing it. Only the Sweepers know that I can quote children's rhymes even better!

"You sure?"

"Ten-Four." I fired back.

The others would need back up. And they would need unprejudiced back up. Someone to say that what they did was necessary.

It was also unfair for Zechs to find out via the media just what the Foreign Minister had done.

In Noin's case, it was also necessary that the Second-In-Command of the Preventers took down the Commander when she was committing a crime. I owed that to the Commander after all. I would make every effort for the Preventers to survive.

They were needed.

"I am sending you two files, Papa Bear," I announced. "Give them to Jack Spratt and Doctor Foster. They can use them to explain to Georgie Porgie and Kitty Fisher. Yankee Doodle can help out, _if_ he's making sense again."

Yankee Doodle. Heero. The first one of the Pilots I gave a children's rhyme to.

Thought to be honest it was more to myself. I just thought he thought of me as a right 'Yankee Doodle'. Or… 'Stupid American'. That's what it means. And that's what Heero thought I was. Made sense at the time.

Same with 'Jack Spratt' for Wufei. He'd complained that there was too much fat in one of the meals that OZ had given us during our captivity. And thus was born 'Jack Spratt'.

Again Sally was easy. Doctor to Doctor Foster. I was having a bad day when I came up with that one.

It had to be them who explained to Zechs and Noin. They had to hear it from Preventers. It would be more believable that way.

I had downloaded the files from Quatre's mainframe. Only two. The recording from the Hospital and the more recent phone conversation. There wasn't any other real proof that would be quickly understood. So they would have to do. Fortunately they would be _real_ convincing.

"Anything else, Baby?" Howie asked.

"A message from Peter Pan to Little Boy Blue." I replied, "The message reads: 'Stop. Thief. Vandal. Outrage.' Come back to me, Papa Bear."

"Please repeat, Baby. I don't think I read you."

"Message from Peter Pan to Little Boy Blue: 'Stop. Thief. Vandal. Outrage.' Come back to me, Papa."

"'Stop. Thief. Vandal. Outrage.' Four-Ten, Baby?"

"Ten-Four, Papa." I grinned. I would have to rely on Cat's quick brain, but that wasn't much of a worry. I've never known Quatre to forget music. He's like a sponge.

"Baby, this is Mama." Josiah came back on, "We'll need a confirmation phrase from the Lost Boys. What do you advise?"

I thought for a moment. It would have to be something the others would be able to answer. I had already put a lot of trust in them. I was trusting that they would follow. I was trusting that they would understand. I was trusting that they would be able to explain. And now I would have to trust that they would be able to think and remember. For I knew the only phrase that was… _suitable_ for the occasion.

"'What is Little Boy Blue waiting for?'" I announced, "I repeat: 'What is Little Boy Blue waiting for?' The answer is 'Bobby Shafto'. I repeat: 'Bobby Shafto'. Four-Ten, Mama?"

"Ten-Four, Baby."

"Baby," Howie was worried, "Where's Peter Pan going?"

"He's gotta play with Capt'n Hook." I shrugged, "And he ain't got Tinkerbell to help him out. Sorry, Papa, but he ain't going to be swinging past the Janitors' Office on his way."

"Maybe on the flip-flop, Baby?"

"I don't know that there will be one, Papa. But I'm gone. Over and out."

"You tell that kid to take care of himself, you hear me Baby?" Howie was frantic, "You hear?"

I turned off the radio. I couldn't listen to Howie anymore. I was going to die. He didn't need to know that.

I forced my thoughts away from Howie's panicked voice. He knew me. He knew that death was probably in my cards. Hell I had practically told him. But where and when, he didn't know. I knew he would recover. He would be jovial and cheerful for my brothers. He wouldn't let them know what he feared.

Back to the plan. Ignore the fact that I knew that Howie would be calling over the radio. Ignore what I knew he would be saying: 'Baby Bear, this is Papa Bear. How 'bout ya, Baby? Come back to me. Get your ears on, Baby!'

Back to the plan.

I needed weapons. But none of the usual were available. _Someone_, and I suspected Trowa, had been through the flat and removed them. The bullets were still there. As was all the gun paraphernalia. But the guns were missing. So were the throwing knives and daggers. Probably feared suicide on my part.

Not that guns and blades would have been much use to me. I couldn't conceal them. And I was fairly sure that I would be scanned for metal. So I needed a more _discrete_ weapon.

Luckily Sally had supplied a fully stocked medical kit. A veritable gold-mine.

I wasn't going in with scalpels. Not my style. Though I would carry two as back-ups.

I knew what I needed. And Sal had been _very_ accommodating. There were several auto-injectors in the kit. I chose four and loaded three with a fast-acting sedative. Weapons chosen.

The last was a different colour and I loaded that with a strong pain-killer and stimulator. After all, I couldn't rely on myself to be strong enough. I would need help.

So, into battle I would go, with four auto-injectors and two scalpels.

I hid them in my hair. Not many people would think to check it for weapons. And what I had wouldn't register on a metal-detector. The injectors only had tiny metal parts and the scalpels were obsidian.

I also located a set of ceramic lock-picks. Though I _did_ wonder why Cattie had a set. They weren't Trowa's. He wouldn't use such small picks. They were, however, just the right size to hide easily in my now laden hair.

I also found another very useful item, and stashed it. Again in my hair.

Clothes were next on my agenda. I wasn't going to be kidnapped in light cotton pyjamas.

But I didn't have any other clothes.

So I _borrowed_ what I needed. A t-shirt from Trowa. I would not ruin one of Cat's shirts. Trousers from Quatre. Because there was no _way_ that I would manage to walk in Tro's. Even in Quatre's I had to roll the legs up, and pull the waist in with a strip of bandage.

I should have probably cut the ends off the trousers, but I couldn't bring myself to damage them.

I was armed. I was… dressed. And I was ready.

I picked the locks… Or rather hacked them. They were more electronic than mechanical.

By the time I reached the one-way mirror, I was literally on my knees. I had crawled up the steps. Inwardly I thanked Quatre for making the metal have no sharp edges. Any injury right then would have taken me out of commission.

I did pull myself to my feet as I emerged from the passage into Quatre's study… Again, Pride… Dignity.

As the mirror closed I caught a glimpse of myself. I looked like what I was… A grown-up version of a child street-rat. All arms and legs. All sharp edges. Very little curves. Too big eyes in a too small face. Long hair. And all in too big clothing.

"You took your time." The Foreign Minister sniffed.

I chose to ignore the remark, instead leaning against a wall to prop myself up.

"We had the time." The Commander countered.

"You'll tell the Maganacs?" I asked once more.

I had taken half an hour. I had taken _too_ long. I mentally begged who-so-ever was listening that the others had not paid the price for my inability to move faster.

"As we agreed," The Commander nodded, "Do we need to restrain you?"

"I'm not going to run." I breathed.

That was not the plan.

The plan was to annoy them. And aggravate them into killing me… But not right then.

First my brothers had to be freed. Then I could die… Then _everything_ would be over.

There was no flip-flop for me. This was a one way trip. Final destination: Hell.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Stars-Eclipsed – I'm glad you like. Do you think I ought to post "Five Gundams Confirmed" and sequel onto "Slytherin's Collection"? I hope to continue to please you.

Arialee – Thanks for the review. Nice to know you're enjoying it. And yes, the action is coming up soon.

Camillian – I hope this is soon enough.

Toraus – Thanks. Duo was hard to write initially, but he's really getting a lot easier. I'm not sure if its because I'm getting used to writing him, or that he's getting more positive.

Raelyn-Mage – Well, you try to stuff the meds down Heero's throat. I'll go hide. And yes, Relena will get what's coming to her. It'll just take a little while.

Leora chan – Yeah, I'll hide as well. I've got my bunker ready. And I'm trying to persuade Duo to bobby-trap it. Nice to know you're enjoying the chapters.

Hellfire – Thanks for the tea. Glad you like my writing.

Wind Dancer1981 – Thank you.

Whitetiger1589 – Once again, thanks. Correction made. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Katerina Shinigami – Keep on holding on. There's only one more Duo chapter to go.

Lilly – Have no intention of stopping now.

Kage Elric – Nice to know. Thanks a lot. Hope you liked this one.

Lesa – Have some tissues. Nice to know you're enjoying this.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – I'm getting there. Hope this lived up to your expectations.

Katsumadarkness – Yes, I was never fond of pink either. Though I now own a pink shirt. Never mind, it's for work. I think I can get away with that. Nice to know you're enjoying this.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

I would like to apologize for spamming your inboxes, those of you with this on alert. My last chapter just _refused_ to be readable, so I kept on deleting it and re-uploading. Hence the spam. Once again, I apologize.

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Duo's POV – Cont.

We were a strange grouping as we made our way down the corridors. The Commander realized my difficulties and under the pretence of speeding me up, she supported and aided me.

I wasn't too surprised to find the massed ranks of the Maganacs outside.

Though apparently they were surprised to see me… If the hushed conversation that broke out was any indicator.

"Are you alright, Duo?" Rashid asked, stepping forward.

"It's alright," I side-stepped the question, "But Quatre needs you."

"Master Quatre?"

"Is he alright?"

"Where is he?"

I turned my head to look at the Commander. I didn't have to ask. She knew what I wanted. She gave the others' location.

"Do you wish us to take you there?" Rashid gave me the perfect opportunity to escape… But I could not take it. Not at the price it would come.

I stepped forward to tell him that; stumbled and nearly fell. Rashid caught me.

"You really should not be up, Duo." He chided me quietly, "What would Master Quatre say? Let us take care of you."

"Let the Palace Guards attend to the Prince," It was my apology for the 'Forty Thieves' remark so long ago, "Aladdin will look after Aladdin. Go to Quatre. He needs you."

"And you do not?" I could hear the doubt and slight rebuke in his voice.

"Look after him, Rashid." Again I ignored a question.

I extracted myself from Rashid, stepping back and following the Foreign Minister and the Commander into the pink atrocity that the Foreign Minister insists on travelling in.

Though judging by the looks she was giving me, I got the feeling that it would be disinfected and probably reupholstered after my trip in it.

Five minutes to the Space-Port. In less than ten, we were in the air and heading out of the atmosphere.

It was a Private Shuttle and supposedly one of the fastest things going.

They had decided to restrain me, and so I was handcuffed to a seat in what I assumed was the servants' area.

I had many miles left to travel. And time before I could sleep. So I decided to save my strength, and napped.

It wasn't sleep, really. I was still on alert. I could still sense movement around me. But my weary muscles and tired brain could rest a little.

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I don't know how long I stayed like that. But I did wake up when the Commander entered.

"Duo." She sighed looking at me.

"Commander?" I asked. By the use of my name she had declared the area safe to speak.

"You failed me."

"I truly meant to die." I shrugged, "The others just wouldn't let me."

"It wasn't meant to go on this long." She sank down into a chair, "I underestimated you."

"What?" She wasn't making sense.

"I thought you would ask the others for help." She stared at me, "I thought you wouldn't be that loyal. I thought you would slip up. I thought you would make a mistake. And I overestimated _them_! I thought they would find you. I thought they would spot a signature… _your_ signature. I kept on keeping them updated on the Cold Cases. And they _never_ worked out that it was you!"

"That's because my signature," I murmured, "Is that there _is_ no signature. There was nothing there to spot."

"I never thought one would be able to stand against four." The Commander breathed. "Not this long… It wasn't meant to last this long."

"But you couldn't stop it." I realized, "They'd do to you what they did to Jun. You knew they wouldn't just let it end. He was too naïve."

"I just wanted to keep His Excellencies' Trieze's world safe. I thought they did too. Make it the _last_ war. Stop the wars _before_ they began. An era of Peace. Of Tranquillity. Of Co-operation."

"How long?"

"Pardon?"

"How long before you realized what the rest wanted?" I breathed, "One year? Two?"

"Two months." She confessed, "And I should have stopped it then… Only I knew they would keep me silent. And there was still work to be done. It had to be the Last War. I couldn't let His Excellencies' sacrifice be in vain… I never thought you'd carry on so long. Even after I had given up on the others finding you… You just kept on coming back!"

"I had a reason to come back. I had _four_ reasons."

"What did they do to earn your loyalty?"

"You remember Jun called me an attack dog?" I looked away, "He was right. 'A dog is the only thing that loves you more than he loves himself.' Loyalty is something you give regardless of what you're getting back. They are my friends. We shed blood together. They didn't _need_ to do anything. But I needed friends. I don't remember at what point they became something more. I don't even remember how they were _before_ they became something more. Or even if they were ever something _less_!"

"'Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.'" The Commander quoted, "If OZ had had men like you… We never would have lost the War."

"Then it's probably a good thing you didn't."

"I'm so sorry, Duo. It never should have come to this."

"You weren't ever going to go through with your threat, were you?"

"No. Relena might have. But I doubt it. She wouldn't harm Heero. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. I understand. You couldn't let Trieze's dream die."

"Do you have a plan?"

"Yes."

"Good." She didn't bother asking what it was. It was only a temporary truce. Outside the room, appearances would have to be maintained. For both our sakes.

"What happens to me now?"

"A sort of prison." She shrugged, "But I can't control Tanner."

I nodded. I understood.

"One request," She looked at me, "If you can… Keep the Preventers going. One bad apple shouldn't ruin the tree. They are needed for His Excellencies' World."

"I know." I nodded.

"Also," She stared at me, "I have no right to ask this of you… But if you get a chance to kill me… Make it quick."

"If you would return me the favour."

"If I can." She shrugged, "I don't have the same freedom as yourself. There are set rules that I am expected to follow. Certain expectations to meet. I am sorry. You should never have been put in this position. It should have not gone this far. I thought I was a sufficient steadying influence."

"I promise. How did you know I was alive?"

"Medication went missing," The Commander replied, "_Your_ exact prescription. Then our places were being expertly broken into. But not _that_ expertly. And nothing was taken. It had to be the Pilots. I could have ignored the medication. But…"

"Once I was alive, the Conspiracy was in danger. And that couldn't be tolerated."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I."

"I hope your plan goes well."

"So do I."

"I'll see you in Hell?" A question this time.

"Count on it."

Yeah, we'd both go to Hell. And we'd cause chaos. Shake things up. I was almost… looking forward to it.

"They never stopped looking." The Commander stated.

"What?" I stared at her. The confusion had to be obvious in my eyes, because her look gentled slightly.

"They never stopped searching for you." She rephrased herself, "I know what you were told. But it was a lie. They never stopped. They tried every avenue. Looked in every place they could think of. They didn't give up. They never… They never stopped caring for you."

"Thank you." I knew what she had tried to do. Provide a balm for my soul. It had worked. I wasn't hurting anymore. At least not in my soul.

"You're welcome."

She left. I napped some more. I would need all the strength I could manage.

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My heart sank slightly when I saw my 'prison'. Practically the outdoors. The wilderness. The one place I am useless in. Give me concrete or asphalt for a floor. Give me stone or brick for walls. Give me metal. Give me man-made materials.

Anything but the natural environment!

First time out in the wild… I nearly killed myself seven times according to Heero.

After that I usually just put the tent up, lit the fire and stayed well out the way of whoever was keeping me alive on my way to my next mission. Quatre was the only one who thought of teaching me how to survive on my own. And even then it was only how to find water, shelter and a few non-poisonous plants. I had badgered Trowa into showing me how to build some basic traps for animals.

But that was the full extent of my knowledge.

I was _screwed_!

Luckily for me they took me to an underground complex. The metal walls were comforting. Reassuring.

What was not so comforting about my 'prison cell' was the _other_ person in it.

Tanner. With a smug smile on his face.

"You're the Warden?" I sneered, "Bit of a step down for you isn't it?"

I just needed a little bit of time. My hands were cuffed behind my back, so all I had to do was free myself and wait for my moment. Though that would take longer than normal, my fingers not moving as quickly as usual.

"Oh I volunteered." Tanner leered, "I've been waiting a long time for this. Relena quite liked my ideas for keeping you in line. Part of why she brought me on board. We could have had _so_ much fun if Jun hadn't gotten on his high horse."

"I doubt it." I was backing away from him. Yes, the distance would hamper my attack and escape, but I just didn't want to be near him.

"Maybe, at first. But you would have come to enjoy it. As you will now, my little pet. My only regrets are that this took so long and that I have to keep part of your mind intact. Otherwise your friends will cause a fuss."

"Don't you dare touch me!" I growled as he moved one step towards me. My hands were free and discretely searching for a weapon.

"You're mine now."

"No." I took a step back.

"My little pet." One step forward.

"No." I had my back against the wall.

"My pretty little slut."

"No."

"Yes."

"No." Less than a metre between us. I could see triumph in his eyes.

"You will beg for me."

"Never."

"Yes, you will. You sold yourself for them, after all. I'm just collecting. Not my fault they didn't value you as much as you valued them."

He ran the back of one hand down my cheek. The other hand rested near my head on the wall. He used his bulk to try and intimidate me. Trying to make any movement on my part initiate contact.

I _moved_. It was slow. At least by my standards. But the auto-injector connected with his upper thigh. The dose was delivered.

I put all my strength into pushing him away, so that he did not land on me.

I watched as he slipped unconscious.

"I whored my soul." I snarled, "Never my body." Those words were the last thing he heard, before he completely blacked out.

I will admit that I considered giving Tanner a second dose of sedative, so that he would _never_ wake up again. But I had a limited supply. He wasn't worth it.

I used the cuffs that had restrained me to restrain him. Turn about is fair play, after all.

Part of me wanted a steaming hot shower to wash away what he had done and said to me. To rid myself of how he had made me feel with his looks and his touches. To wash away seven years.

But that was impossible. I was on a time limit. And before I died… I had a few things left to do.

Adrenaline was coursing though my blood stream, thanks to Tanner. Negating the need for my stimulant.

It didn't take me too long to find a computer linked to the central network. I quickly over-rode the controls for one of the outer hatches of the colony. I had to make sure the others could get in, after all.

I would also need to know when they arrived without alerting the Conspiracy. So I rigged my collection of Disney songs to play loudly on the colony-wide speakers, when the inner hatch was opened on that one door.

The music would be my indicator to hurry up and die. But it would be a typical tactic of mine to freak people out and distract them. So it should be ignored.

I did have to hack into Cat's systems to fetch my music, but I had left myself a secure back door when I had originally hid it.

And that was pretty much everything that I _had_ to do on my check-list. All I had to do was annoy someone into killing me. There were a few other tasks that it would be nice to complete if possible. But they weren't necessary.

So I ran. I emerged from the metal catacombs into the jungle and waited for someone to notice I was missing.

It didn't take too long. And then the hunt was on.

The chase brought new waves of adrenaline into play, overpowering the pain and exhaustion my body was starting to protest about.

I ducked and dodged laser fire.

I don't know why. I was trying to _die_, after all. Not survive. Only a few shots clipped me, but I barely felt them.

I will always be amazed that I managed to lose my pursuers. The Conspiracy had hired enough tough bodies to fill out the 'prison'. Either that or they were prisoners themselves. I wouldn't put _anything_ past the Conspiracy.

I wasn't even trying to lose them. And I certainly shouldn't have been able to move fast enough to out-run them.

So how did I lose them? I didn't know. And I didn't care.

The adrenaline was leaving me. The pain… The exhaustion… The weakness of my body returning ten-fold. I could barely stagger anymore. So I managed to force myself to shelter. A small hut. Instincts more than sense, really.

I wasn't too surprised to find myself staring down the barrel of a gun, after only a few seconds of resting my eyes.

"Dorothy." I sighed, "Should have known you'd be around here _somewhere_."

"Oh-Two." She smiled that weird smile of hers. "How have you been?"

"Like you really care. I just want to know when you became part of the Conspiracy."

"Is that what you call it? How amusing."

"Stop mucking about Dot." I sighed, "We both know I can't escape. We both know you're involved. The only other thing we both know is that you were not involved from the start. When was it? One year in? Two?"

"Just after you killed the former Foreign Minister and her main rival." Dorothy shrugged, "Miss Relena told me not to worry about Bush. Said he wouldn't be a threat. And then he wasn't. I knew then that she had grown up. She had learnt how the world works. And I was _proud_!

"She told me what was going on." Dorothy continued, "And I was prouder still. I mean, to have a plan to manipulate a Gundam Pilot is one thing. For it to work… that is pure genius. And no-one suspected a _thing_!... Until you turned up again."

"I put everything at risk." I nodded, understanding where she was coming from.

"Yes. But Miss Relena adapted. She stayed in control. She _eliminated_ any risk to herself. Just a little longer and the deal will be finalised. _No-one_ will ever know. The perfect plan. I never thought she had it in her. I never though Miss Relena would grow up so magnificently!"

"Nor did I." I murmured. I meant her penultimate statement. But I guess Dorothy knew that. But she didn't seem to care which I was agreeing with.

"Get up!" She ordered, "I'm returning you to your cell. We don't trust you. So you'll have to earn freedoms. Tanner has elected to look after you."

"I'll bet." I muttered, before speaking louder, "I can't stand."

"You lie." She accused.

"I don't lie," I countered, "It took nearly everything I had just to get here. I can't get up."

She approached me cautiously, obviously expecting me to be bluffing. But I stayed still, one of my hands almost subconsciously fiddling with my braid. I couldn't have stood even if the others' lives depended on it.

The lack of fight made her less wary. She was too close when I lashed out with an auto-injector, to do anything other than widen her eyes in shock.

"But you said…" She stared as the drug pulled her under.

"I said _nearly_ everything," I replied, "I said I couldn't _stand_. I have no intention of being Tanner's little toy. Or a pawn on someone else's chessboard."

I used the scalpel to cut strips of cloth from her clothing to bind her with; before tying a tiny recorder around her wrist. It looked like a simple woven bracelet. One of Winner Industries' products, so the others should realize what it was.

I had recorded Dorothy's words. Her taped confession would probably loosen Tanner's tongue. And then everyone else would be revealed. The Conspiracy would be broken. My final act of defiance. My final act of Justice. There was only one thing left to do. I had to pay the price for the crimes I had committed.

I claimed Dorothy's gun and injected the stimulant into me. I now had a proper weapon, and a chance to cause some damage as I fought back. Before they killed me.

I ran.

The enemy swiftly found me. I can't remember too much of the fight. I think I was yelling at them. Taunting them. I think I hit a few, with my shots. But flesh wounds only. Nothing serious. And that wasn't intentional on my part.

The stimulant only gave me a finite boost. And it all too quickly ran out. First allowing pain to return. Then blurring my vision. And finally the exhaustion began to take its toll. Making my limbs heavy and sluggish.

I don't know whether I collapsed or was knocked out. Either way darkness claimed me.

But it wasn't forever. As I came round I heard voices. But couldn't make out the words. I felt metal biting extremely painfully into my flesh around my wrists. My shoulders ached strangely. I felt my old injuries protesting at their treatment. I felt new pains making their presence felt.

I slowly blinked a few times, trying to clear my vision. And I shook my head, trying to get my ears to function properly.

That was when I noticed the music. My Disney playlist was coming thought the speakers. I was running out of time.

I was running out of _time_!

I managed to make out the voices over the music. The Foreign Minister and the Commander. They were apparently a little put out with the music, my treatment of Tanner, my escape and everything else I had ever done. I had to give the Commander points; she was acting really well considering that her heart wasn't in it.

I lashed out. I couldn't threaten them physically. So I had to annoy the Foreign Minister. I had to make her _want_ me dead.

I don't recall what I said. But I think I used at least nine different languages as well as nearly every single insult and curse I knew. I pushed every single button the girl had. I used every weakness I had ever spotted. Every. Single. Weakness. Every nightmare I taunted her about. Every dream I derided and laughed at.

It worked… To a certain degree.

I do not know, and I do not care _where_ she produced the stun-baton from. But it _hurt_!

She was screaming and yelling at me. Returning all my insults in full… with interest.

I just screamed. The pain was overwhelming. I felt my body dance with the current. The metal around my wrists biting even deeper. I didn't know how I was suspended and I didn't care.

All I knew was the pain. The noise. And the encroaching oblivion. Once again, I surrendered to it.

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I'm not sure if it was the new voice, the sudden movement, or even the cold touch of a gun underneath my chin that roused me.

But I barely had the strength to open my eyes. Looking through my eyelashes, even with my head tilted so that I was pointed towards the ceiling, I could see my brothers, Sally, Noin and Zechs.

"You're early." I murmured, "Do you have Dorothy?"

They were early. Or I was late. I was supposed to be dead. Though I doubted I would last much longer. It was getting increasingly difficult to draw breath.

"Yes." Quatre's voice. I couldn't see clearly anymore, my vision blurring.

"On her wrist," I muttered, "A recording. Confession."

"Leave everything to us, Duo." Quatre's voice was gentle and kind… and happy, "We'll take care of it. We'll look after you."

"I'm sorry." My throat was too dry to speak properly, "I'm so sorry."

I couldn't talk anymore. My breathing was too shallow to supply enough oxygen.

Maybe… Just maybe… This time I was _really_ dying. I hoped so. I didn't want to hurt anymore. I didn't want to fight. I just wanted to rest. To sleep. To die.

I surrendered. For what I hoped would be the last time. After all I had completed my mission. I had protected those I cared for. I wasn't needed anymore.

Maybe… Just maybe, I would see Sister Helen and Solo again.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Bunch-o-Nuts – Sorry I didn't reply to your review in the last chapter, but you reviewed, while I was trying to get 28 to load. I'm glad you enjoyed it though.

. – Thanks for the review and informing me when my chapter became readable.

Toraus – I take it you liked it. Thanks for reviewing.

02slittlebaka – Yeah, small glitch. I couldn't read my own chapter due to something going wrong on the website's end. So I kept on reloading the chapter in the hope that it would do something. I'm not sure if it worked or whether the website just decided to play ball. Thanks for reviewing though and keeping me updated.

Whitetiger1589 – Not much trouble. Just really annoying. Duo and Sense aren't talking right now. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Raelyn-Mage – I like Howie too. He's slowly shoving his way into a bigger part. I really need to control my muses. You can try with the slingshot and Heero, but I'm going to my bunker. Glad you liked the chapter.

Hellfire – Thanks for the cake and happy belated birthday.

Lilly – You didn't have the glitch. The website did. Glad you liked the chapter. Hope you enjoyed this one.

Kage Elric – Talk to the muses. They decide when a chapter ends. Not me. And I have no intention of stopping.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – Hope you enjoyed it. And Relena always got on my nerves too.

DreamsRemorse – Hope you enjoyed it. Even if I didn't touch on the points you were looking for.

Wind Dancer1981 – Glad you liked it. Thanks for the review.

Thanks to all my reviewers.


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Wufei's POV

I refused to believe that we had just seen Duo die. He had beaten Death before. He would do it again. But my heart sank as he went limp. I prayed to Nataku to watch over him; asking my fallen first wife to ensure that Duo's spirit did not falter. Duo's spirit would _not_ be allowed to cross over. Not yet… Not yet.

I tuned out Relena's incessant ranting. It was a skill I had gotten very good at over the last seven years. Instead I concentrated on the true threat. The Commander Une.

She was peering at us through the gap between Duo's head and shoulder, partially obscured by his hair. I couldn't risk a shot. None of us could. Yes, we would have only hit her, but there was no guarantee that she wouldn't spasm as she died and pull the trigger as she fell.

Taking out her legs, which were clearly visible below Duo's dangling frame, was possible. But it would be ill advised. She would still be able to fire and kill Duo. It was a stand-off. One that I wasn't sure how to break. And I doubted the others did either.

The only thing I was really sure of… was that we would have to be quick about it. I didn't know for how much longer Duo could hold on. Or even if he wanted to. Despite Quatre's confidence, I wasn't sure that Duo wanted to live. He just didn't want to commit suicide either.

"Commander," Quatre stepped forward slightly, "You have no way out of here. You have nothing to gain. You've lost. Right now, the best thing you can do is surrender. You might get treated more leniently in court, if you do."

"No." Une shook her head, "They wouldn't understand. I had to fulfil His Excellencies' wishes. I could not allow there to be another War!"

When had she gone insane? How had I not noticed? I could follow her warped logic. But to go so far… for the desires of a dead man… That I could not understand. At what point did honouring the dead lead to this… this insanity? I honoured the dead. But… this was _lunacy_!

Had everything Duo gone through been because of a pair of crazy women, trying to achieve dreams that could never be realized? If that were true, then fate was cruel indeed.

It appeared I wasn't the only one ignoring Relena. The other Pilots were completely focused on the true threat to our brother. Sally was concentrating on Duo. I hoped that she was noticing signs of life that I could not determine. I assumed that Zechs was watching Relena. And knowing Noin, she would be splitting her attention equally between the two Conspirators.

"But there hasn't been another War." Noin frowned.

"Only because I stopped them all before they began." Une was completely calm. She truly believed that she had done what was right. Was she insane? Or merely delusional? Or obsessed? I really couldn't tell.

"The Preventers were all that were needed," Noin argued, "We arrested all terrorists."

"Not all," Une fired back, "Some had only loose connections. Some were too smart to leave evidence. Often the ring-leaders got away. I made sure they wouldn't get a second chance to ruin everything."

"It's time to pass the reigns, Commander," Quatre smiled gently, "We're old enough. Let us protect the Sphere."

"How can I?" Une asked, "You couldn't even find Duo. You had seven years. And you didn't find him. You couldn't protect one person. How can I trust you to protect the entire Sphere?"

"Because we are here now." I stated, "We found him. We protected him. And we will continue to protect both him and the Sphere."

"He is our brother." Trowa put in, "He protected us. Now we protect him."

"You didn't." Une pointed out, "He didn't think he could trust you. He was loyal to you. And would _die_ for you. He asked for nothing in return. And that was what he received. _Nothing_!"

"You almost sound like you care." Quatre frowned, "Commander?"

"No one cares for him!" Relena screeched, finally inserting a coherent and relevant comment into the conversation, instead of ranting nonsensically, "He's worthless. The only reason he is still alive is that I have a use for him! Heero will marry me!"

And she dissolved into ranting again. She had gone completely crazy. I doubted she would ever be brought to trial. _I_ had no psychiatric training, but I was pretty sure I could put forward an argument for non-compos mentis. And it would probably be accepted. That should satisfy Zechs. To be completely honest I hadn't been too comfortable about shattering his illusions about Relena. However Duo had asked it of me, so it had been my duty to complete it. Honour demanded it.

"I thought you would find him." Une carried on, "But you never did. You obviously weren't trying hard enough. And his hell continued. Where were you? How were you helping him? He was going through hell."

"It's time to pass the torch." Quatre stated.

"My hands aren't failing yet." Une countered, "And you are not strong enough to carry the burden. You aren't _good_ enough."

"We are here, aren't we?" Quatre pointed out.

"I won't let you hurt him." Heero growled, "Let. Him. Go."

"He'll die first!" Relena re-entered reality and the conversation. She lashed out with the stun-baton at Duo's frame.

I turned my gun onto Relena, hoping to hit her and cause her to drop the baton. Zechs wasn't doing anything. He still seemed to be in shock. The man had almost completely fallen to pieces at seeing his perfect little sister as this monster she had become.

But I wasn't quick enough. Relena had collapsed on the floor from a shot, before I even pulled the trigger. I glanced around. No one on my side had fired a shot, judging by their confused looks and checking to work out which of us had… That only left Une. But she wouldn't… Would she?

Apparently she would, as she was returning the gun to underneath Duo's chin.

"It's non-fatal." Une shrugged. "I always told her that her temper would be dangerous."

"Is anyone else confused?" Sally murmured so quietly that Une couldn't hear.

"Yes." Noin replied. "She's defending him."

"Commander, you're not helping anyone right now." Quatre had apparently been appointed negotiator at some point. I didn't really mind that. I knew that Quatre could talk pretty much anyone into _anything_. He also had the photographs to prove it. If I ever found them, I was burning them.

"He said he had a plan." Une was gone. It seemed that _all_ the main Conspirators were probably insane, if she was talking about Trieze, "He promised me. He said he had a plan."

She looked around at us again, as if seeing us for the first time. Then she smiled. And I started to worry. Her hand had moved from pulling Duo's hair back – which was a sacrilege in my eyes, only a few people were allowed to touch Duo's hair – and was now stroking Duo's cheek. It looked almost like a mother's touch. Making the whole scene even more wrong.

One part of me wondered who the last person to touch Duo in a maternal way had been. Maybe the Sister Helen I had heard him cry out for once.

I heard Heero growl. I could tell that he was glaring at Une. Trowa's gaze was icy cold. Quatre's was steadfast. Mine was burning hot. If looks could kill, Une would have been dead at least four times over.

The smile on Une's face didn't fade, if anything it got brighter. She leaned forward slightly, positioning her mouth near Duo's ear. I assume she spoke. Her lips certainly moved. But I couldn't make out any words.

Two shots rang out simultaneously.

Une fell to the floor, even as Heero ran to grab Duo.

Une had two bullet holes in her head. One from Heero's weapon. The other from her own.

"What the hell?" Noin yelled.

"I thought she was going to kill Duo." Heero snarled his defence, "Wufei I need your help. Hold him."

I moved, so that I held Duo upright, so that Heero had both hands free to carefully break the handcuff chain between them. It probably would have been easier if Trowa had held him, but there was no time to really argue. I held Duo as if he were a child, before I laid him down almost reverently on the floor.

"Why would you think that?" Noin insisted. Zechs was apparently ignoring everything… apart from his baby sister.

"She said: 'Good plan. Well played. I'm sorry. See you in Hell.'" Heero replied, "What was I supposed to think?"

That statement was a little out of character for Heero, but I could see where he was coming from. I would have done the same thing. Nataku! Why would the woman kill herself? Guilt? Remorse? I had seen none of that in her face.

My wife had forced herself between myself and Heero, and was carefully, but quickly, checking Duo over for injuries.

"Sally!" Zechs called. His voice was frantic.

"Oh for pities' sake, Zechs!" Sally glanced over, "It's a through and through in a fleshy region. She fainted due to shock. Bandage it up and take her away from here… _Before_ I forget my Hippocratic Oath!"

Zechs must have remembered Sally's reputation, both among the Preventers and from the War. Because he picked Relena up and carried her carefully away. Noin, unsurprisingly, followed.

"How is he?" Quatre knelt down next to Duo's still form.

"Quatre," Sally started to bark orders, "Give the blueprints to Trowa! Trowa, you and Heero go to the Medical Centre and retrieve all the equipment not nailed down. I want a stretcher, oxygen, portable ventilator and fully stocked medical kit. Anything else you manage to tote is great as well!"

The pair dashed off. Although I sensed that Heero was reluctant to leave Duo.

"It's that bad?" Quatre paled. Not just at Sally's orders I thought.

"Probably worse," Sally shrugged, "Get the cuffs off him. I want to see the full extent of damage here."

"Will he be alright?" I breathed.

"Dammit Fei! I'm a doctor," Sally almost snarled, "Not a miracle worker! With the amount of damage I'm looking at. I can barely do anything with these facilities. I want him back on Earth in a decent hospital. Where I can call in specialists! There's a high risk of neuropathy, and probably some pulmonary damage. And I don't want to _think_ about his heart. It's already beating erratically."

"Could we take him to one of the other colonies?" Quatre suggested, having managed to remove one cuff and was carefully working on the other. "It would be quicker."

"No," Sally was firm, "They're good, but they don't have the facilities. And I don't have the authority. They don't know how to treat you boys. We need to go to _my_ hospital. I would probably be bared from being allowed to treat him in any other hospital. As I would be judged to be too close. But also because I'd prescribe high doses of pain-killers, which would probably be interpreted as dangerous. It's safer for Duo on Earth."

"Alright." I nodded, "You know best. Just… Will he survive that long?"

"He doesn't have a choice." She shrugged, "I'm not letting him die."

"_We're_ not letting him die." Quatre countered.

"Keep your fingers on his pulse." Sally ordered me, "I need to know how fast it is beating, at all times. You're his heart monitor."

"Beat." I stated as I felt the pulse. It was weak and erratic underneath my fingers. It was trying to beat quickly, but sometimes skipped beats as if Duo's heart didn't have the strength to keep pushing the blood around.

"What's the damage?" Quatre asked Sally, as I continued to state when I felt a heartbeat.

"Both wrists," Sally shrugged, "Probably dislocated one, if not both shoulders." I watched as she checked his pupils, "He's either got a concussion, or he's been drugged with something. I daren't give him anything, until I know either way and if it's a drug, what it is. Add in the electric burns and probable nerve damage… He's looking at a long, hard recovery."

"I can't feel a pulse." I stated, interrupting the conversation.

"Dammit!" Sally swore, lowering her head to Duo's chest, to listen. She then rose, "Quatre, start on chest compressions! Fei, pass me the stun-baton."

"What?!" I exclaimed, "Are you out of your mind, woman?"

"Which of us is the doctor?" She fired back, "I need a defibrillator. We're going to improvise. When I say clear, you don't touch him. When I say go, Fei you're in charge of his breathing. Quatre, check for a heart beat and then compressions as needed. Understood?"

"Yes." Quatre and I chorused.

I moved so that I could better supply mouth-to-mouth. Then I began. Breathe in. Breathe out. Once for myself. Once for my brother. Keeping his spirit in him. Stopping his soul from flying away.

"Clear!" I leapt back. I winced as Sally applied the charge to Duo's chest for an instant.

The moment it was gone, I moved forward to breathe for Duo, once more. Forcing air into Duo's lungs.

"No beat!" Quatre declared frantically, after listening. He moved to perform more chest compressions, while Sally prepared the stun-baton once more.

A second time we tried. And we failed.

A third.

A fourth.

"Damn you, Duo!" Sally swore as she prepared herself for the fifth time, "You do not get to die on me now! Do you hear me? You are not dying here!"

I didn't have the breath to yell. But my sentiments matched my wife's. Shinigami would not claim him yet. Not while I could still prevent it.

"He's got a beat!" Quatre sighed, rocking back onto his heels.

"Halle-fucking-lujah!" Sally visibly relaxed slightly, "Don't you do that again, Duo. I think I just lost five years of my life."

"His breathing is shallow." I pointed out, when I took a short break.

"You can stop now," She assured me, "And it's hardly surprising. His earlier injuries would make to hard to breathe. And he'll have cracked ribs now. At the very least."

"What? I was very careful!" Quatre started to panic, "I wasn't…"

"He's got low bone density," Sally shrugged, "Always has had. After the War, I told him to increase his dairy intake. Since we got him back, he's been on calcium supplements. And I probably ought to increase his Vitamin D intake, as well." She ran her hands down Duo's torso, "Yep! Three broken ribs and two cracked ones."

"Sally," Quatre frowned, "What would have a knockout blow to Duo's stomach have done… say, seven years ago?"

"Seven years ago?" She paused for a moment, "Definitely would have cracked some of the lower ribs. Depending on the force used… maybe broken them."

"What are you getting at?" I was confused.

"That's how Heero knocked Duo out during the Rebellion." Quatre breathed, "No wonder Duo hasn't forgotten."

"Broken ribs on re-entry?... In a Gundam?" The pieces made sense, "He could have been killed!"

"Exactly." Quatre nodded, "Is there anything we can do to help, Sally?"

"Right now?" Sally shrugged, "Not really. I just need to… Dammit!"

"What?" I panicked.

"Injection site," Sally had been continuing her visual inspection. She was pointing at a tiny puncture wound on Duo's right leg. "He's drugged up. I'm going to need a full tox-screen, before I _dare_ give him anything for the pain."

"What do you need?" Heero demanded, as he came through the door. Trowa only a pace behind him. They were both laden with equipment. It looked like they had grabbed everything not nailed down.

"Two inflatable wrist casts," Sally started to list, "One neck brace. Hook him up to the oxygen supply. Unventilated for the moment. He's breathing on his own. I don't want to interfere with that. Heart and Blood Pressure monitors. Quatre, take six vials of blood for screening. His colour is good. And I can't find any bleeding, so that should be fine. Move him _carefully_ onto a stretcher. Watch his ribs, shoulders and wrists. Then strap him down… _carefully_! I don't want him to move. But I also don't want his injuries exacerbated. Got that?"

Various nods came from each of us, before we carried out her orders. We had surrendered authority to the only person who stood a chance at bringing Duo back to us. I trusted Sally to heal my brother. I trusted her to bring him home.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Stars-Eclipsed – Please don't cry. I have a semi-strict upload schedule. If I go off it, I'll be encouraged to post sub-standard chapters. So I hope this was soon enough.

Anonymous Void – Two chapters left? You underestimate me. I've still got some tricks up my sleeves. And no… No more flashbacks to things we've seen before… I think.

Malice2 – Thank you for the compliments. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

:) – Thanks for the review. I'm glad you're liking this.

Snowdragonct – Let's see what's on the cards. I'm not one for death-fics though. So you should be relatively safe there.

Jak'idiot – Nice quote. May steal that later. Glad you enjoyed it.

Whitetiger1589 – Thanks for the review. And thanks for the hugs.

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Hellfire – Get your nose checked. I don't smell the end. Though I probably do smell of rain. Thanks for the favourite.

Anonymous 25 – I don't know about the reference. I read a lot of things, so I could be referencing anything and not even know it. Glad you liked the chapter.

Katerina Shinigami – Glad you liked the rhymes and Disney. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Raelyn-Mage – You're confused? Try me. I'm still working out where this is going. Though I know the destination, I'm still squabbling with the muses about the route. *Hands you a hanky*. Here. Don't want you to cry on your keyboard.

Lilly – Hope this was soon enough.

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Thanks once again to all my reviewers.


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

1235467890

Trowa's POV

It didn't take us long to load Duo onto his stretcher. I had been careful in choosing a mountain rescue stretcher. It allowed us to completely immobilize Duo. Though I did feel bad doing so. He was never meant to be chained. None of us were. We had been born as wild animals. The best way to befriend a wild animal is to respect it and give it its freedom. Eventually it will learn to trust you and then love you.

Duo loved us. We were never meant to chain him. But for his own sake we would have to.

Wufei and Heero are the closest in height, and are well accustomed to working together. So they made the ideal pairing to carry the stretcher back to the shuttle for PeaceMillion.

Sally was staring at the hand-held monitor for all the devices we had hooked up to Duo. I could tell that she was trying to get a reading on the damage that Duo had suffered.

Quatre was carrying the six vials of blood, and holding a radio conversation with Noin, at the same time. I was close enough that I could hear both sides of the conversation, while I carried the rest of the equipment.

"We're returning to PeaceMillion. Duo will need immediate transport to Earth. So if you're not there, we're leaving without you."

"We're not coming. _Someone_ needs to secure the crime-scene. And this is the biggest fricking crime-scene around. I'm calling in Preventer units from near-by colonies for this one."

"What about Zechs?"

"Too terrified to go near Po and you boys. He's got some basic first aid knowledge. Relena won't die."

"But she'll never go to trial either." Quatre sighed, "Is there _anything_ that could prove coercion that you've found?"

"Would Tanner help?"

"You captured him?" Quatre was ecstatic, "Is he talking?"

"No… He's unconscious. And restrained. Pair of handcuffs."

"Who did that?"

"I don't know."

"See what you can get out of him when he comes round. Duo did name him, after all."

"I'd be more worried about _what_ he did to Duo." Noin murmured.

"Why?" I frowned in unison with my partner.

"Rumour has it that Tanner is very… _fond_ of long haired boys. Duo would have suited his tastes."

Well if that didn't sign Tanner's death warrant if Heero found out, I didn't know what would. I wouldn't kill Tanner for it though, and I doubted that Quatre or Wufei would… If Tanner had _acted_ on those tastes… Then it would be a different matter… And Open Season on Tanner.

"And he's still free?" Quatre asked the question I was curious about.

"We didn't have any evidence… No-one would come forward to testify. And any accusations were quickly withdrawn. Evidence even went missing from Police Records."

"Duo." Quatre breathed in realization.

"Highly likely, given what we know." Noin agreed, "Listen Quatre, just get Duo home. And keep him _alive_! I'm rather fond of the brat."

"That's the plan. Keep us informed?"

"If you do the same."

"Agreed, Miss Noin."

We entered the shuttle and arrived back on PeaceMillion in short order. Sally immediately directed us to the Sick Bay, where there was a comprehensive collection of equipment designed for blood work. Why, I do not know. She quickly began a full blood work analysis.

Meanwhile the four of us just watched Duo breathe. We didn't talk. There was nothing really to be said. Only one person alive could possibly understand what had just happened, and what was going on. And Duo was unlikely to be able to tell us any time in the near future.

"Is the Kid alright?" Howard asked as he entered. One look at our faces told most of the story.

Quatre was hopeful, almost expecting Duo to bounce back, despite knowing that he wouldn't.

Wufei was outraged. Angry that our brother had gone through so much… All for the whims of two mad women and the other members of the Conspiracy.

Heero was frustrated. He knew who was to blame, but he couldn't get revenge. He couldn't even leave… He was so desperate not to leave Duo. Trying to protect him. But knowing that the injuries had already occurred. He was too late.

And I was almost grieving. I had accepted the thing that none of the others could comprehend… Even if Duo recovered, there was no guarantee that his memory… His sense of self, would be intact.

I was both anticipating and dreading the moment Duo awoke. Would he know us as his brothers? Or would we be strangers to him?

That was assuming that Duo _would_ wake up.

"That bad, huh, boys?" Howard answered his own question.

"Yeah." Sally nodded.

"Well… Where there's life, there's hope." Howard smiled slightly, brushing Duo's hair out of his face. "Ain't never seen the Kid with his hair down. He sure has a lot of it." I heard something extra in Howard's voice. He had never expected to see Duo again.

"How can you be so calm?" Wufei demanded, "Duo could be… Could be…" He couldn't say it. Couldn't vocalise the word. That was when I knew that _something_ had happened while Heero and I were fetching the equipment. I thought I knew what it was. I hoped Heero never found out. Or that if he did, it was _after_ Duo awoke.

"Dying?" Howard had no such qualms… Or was it fears? "Not the Kid… He's a fighter. Always has been. All he needs is a reason to fight. And I reckon you boys are it… You tried talking to him?"

Was it that simple? Would Duo come back… for us?

I thought about it for a moment. Then realized that Howard was probably right. Duo's loyalty was absolute. He would walk into Hell with nothing but a snowball for a weapon and no fear… for us. Compared to that… Staying alive should be nothing.

"Howie?" Another Sweeper entered the Sick Bay. I had seen him before, during the War. I thought he was Howard's right hand man. But I couldn't remember his name. Most people had called him Preacher. Though I doubted that he was ever a Priest. He just didn't quite have the air of one. Though he could probably deceive a lot of people.

"Yeah, Josiah?"

"I brought you the Radio link." The broad-shouldered Sweeper grinned, "Thought you might like to announce the happy event to all points."

"Put it on the Chitter-Chatter?"

"Get the good word out, Brother Howard."

"I think that is a mighty fine idea, Preacher." Howard smirked, "Pass it here. And channel the feed through the speaker system. Standard channel."

"Already sorted."

"Then hook me up."

Josiah passed Howard a radio mike and headset, which Howard quickly donned.

"This is Hong Kong Phooey. Who's got their ears on? Key your mike in my direction." Howard declared.

"This is the Snowman. What's up, Hong Kong Phooey?"

"Bandit here. You a-okay, Hong Kong?"

"This is the Frog. Nice to hear from you, Hong Kong."

"Hot Pants here."

"Good Witch Glenda here. You alright, honey?"

"Blue Beard. Kick it in, Phooey."

"Bug-Man. What's up?"

"I hope I'm coming in loud and proud." Howard smirked, "I've got some prime chatter."

"Well don't ya be leaving us hanging, Hong Kong." The drawl of the Bandit insisted.

"Yeah!" The Frog joined in, "Key your mike and tell us all."

"I got a twenty on the Milkybar Kid." Howard grinned. He had to mean Duo, judging by the soft smile on his face that he directed at Duo's far too skinny frame.

"Come again?"

"Four-Ten?"

"Please repeat last transmission, Hong Kong Phooey."

"You sure, honey?"

"Well don't just leave us hanging here!" Snowman protested.

"It's been a long time since any of us laid an eyeball on him." Hot Pants declared, "And longer still since he keyed a mike in _anyone's_ direction."

"So what's the twenty?"

"My rig." Howard laughed at the various protests his previous comment had caused.

"Why didn't you say so?" Blue Beard shouted, "Put the Kid on!"

"Fraid I can't, Blue Beard." Howard sighed, "Seems someone didn't pay too much attention to his shipping labels."

"Is he okay?"

"He ain't great," Howard shrugged, "And it's going to need more than a few rolls of duct-tape. But we're aiming towards a Saint or three."

"You don't think we'd be needing a…?"

"Now don't you be saying that!" Hot Pants shouted the previous speaker down, "Phooey wouldn't call needing a Courier prime chitter-chatter. The Milkybar Kid is going to be just fine."

"It's going to be a fight." Howard agreed, "But you all know the Kid."

"The Milkybar Kid is strong and tough." One voice sang over the speakers.

"And only the best is good enough!" Nearly all the others joined in. And they weren't the only ones. I could hear the phrase being sung on the PeaceMillion.

"That's right." Howard nodded.

"What happened to him?"

"Well," Howard sighed, "It seems that he ran afoul of a couple of Mountain Lions. Came out of the encounter the way Snowman comes out of a Choke-and-Puke fight with a pack of Crotch-Rocket Cowboys."

"He lost?"

"Nah!" Snowman sounded like he was grinning, "He lost the fight, _sure_… But he made 'em pay for it… He won the _war_!"

"Exactly!" Howard smiled, "Turns out that these Lions are the ones that have been keeping the Milkybar Kid away from hooking up with any of us, for the last seven candles."

"You give me their names, Phooey." Blue Beard growled, "Always wanted a Mountain Lion rug."

"That's the problem, Blue Beard," Howard was quick to answer, "The two lead Lions were Barbie and the Chief Mama Bear."

I didn't pay much attention to the outrage and shock that came over the speakers. I was too confused. I understood the words coming out of Howard's mouth… Or at least I understood them _individually_. But the sentences… didn't make sense. It was as if Howard was randomly stringing words together for the sake of it. Only… all the radio people… They understood it.

I wasn't the only one confused though. My brothers and partner were equally confused, as was Sally. Though Heero looked like this wasn't the first time he had heard these words, in this manner. Even if he didn't understand it.

"Come back to me, Hong Kong Phooey," Bug-Man's voice broke over all the others, "Please confirm last transmission. Did you say Barbie and the Chief Mama Bear?"

"Ten-Four." Howard replied, "And Ken's not involved."

"Well if you've got the Chief Mama Bear up in arms," The Bandit called out, "Do you need someone to rattle the bushes for ya?"

"I'll rake your leaves." Snowman offered.

"I'll be fine." Howard smiled, "I'm covered."

"You in a convoy?"

"No," Howard shook his head, "I've got a couple of Smokeys guarding both my doors."

"You _crazy_, Phooey?" Blue Beard demanded, "You upset the Big Mama Bear and then you let _Smokeys_ aboard your Rig… And you call yourself shiney side _up_?!"

There were several other protests along the same sort of lines. But Blue Beard's is the one I remember the best… If only because it was the first one.

"They're Smokeys that like chocolate." Howard seemed to try to placate them.

"You sure, honey?" Glenda asked. I had to wonder why they would now be so quiet, and so… calm. It wasn't as if Howard had said anything important or relevant. At least not that I understood.

"They're old friends of Milkybar." Howard shrugged, "They're his old running buddies."

"Well if Milkybar trusts them." Snowman sighed, "You just keep him running, Hong Kong. Been a long time since I laid an eyeball on him."

"You tell us when he's up for visitors, Hong Kong." The Frog instructed, "Be good to exchange chitter-chatter with him."

"Ten-Four." Howard agreed.

"I'll bring the Good Witch down when all is well." Bug-Man declared.

"You put the pedal to the metal, Phooey." The Bandit decreed, "The Milkybar Kid ain't going to be needing a Courier any time soon. Make sure of it. 'Cause if he needs a Courier… Then I'm part of the Convoy."

"Don't you be talking like that Bandit!" Hot Pants snapped, "The Milkybar Kid is going to be just fine. And we'll all lay an eyeball on him soon. What's your twenty, Hong Kong?"

"Reiki to Disneyland." Howard grinned, "I'm on the flip-flop. And apart from chocolate and Smokeys… I'm only carrying dispatchers' brains. And my hammer is down, while I boogie on."

"If Barbie has Mountain Lion tendencies," Snowman came over the speakers, "You'd best steer clear of Cinderella's Castle."

"That's a big Ten-Four." Howard smiled, "I'll key a mike when the Kid can have visitors. But for now, I'd best carry on hauling. See you round."

"You keep that floating janitor's closet of yours in one piece." The Bandit ordered, as a farewell, "We'll spread the chitter-chatter."

"Break One." Snowman declared.

"Break Two." The Frog matched.

"Break Three." The Bandit cheered.

"Break Four." Blue Beard announced.

"Break Five." Hot-Pants stated.

"Break Six." Bug-Man added.

"Break Eight." Snowman came back in, "We'll work our way up, and I'll meet you guys all on One-Five."

"You guys want any more chitter-chatter, you contact Preacher." Howard insisted, "Keep your rubber down and your metal up. And don't get bitten by any bears. Over and out."

Howard put down his mike. He gave us the biggest, smuggest grin I have ever seen on his face.

"What?" He laughed at our surprise, "You thought you were the _only_ ones who missed the Kid?"

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

And if anyone can translate the 'chitter-chatter' without looking stuff up, you get a chocolate brownie. Also interested in why you think some people got their names.

Stars-Eclipsed – Glad you spotted the quote. And I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Wind Dancer1981 – I'm not stopping now.

Katerina Shinigami – Hope you haven't fallen off your chair.

Raelyn-Mage – Yeah, I don't find many fans of Relena.

Anonymous Void – I hope to continue surprising you.

Fauxsey – Well, it had to be said.

Lilly – Hope this was soon enough. And I'm glad you liked it.

Kage Elric – Thanks for the review. Nice to know you're enjoying this.

Katsumadarkness – If you keep biting your nails, you're going to run out. Fingers don't taste nice. Hope you liked this chapter.

Whitetiger1589 – Keep on holding on. And thanks for the hugs.

Hellfire – Thanks for the review.

So-kun – Sorry, yes. I couldn't find any other ending for her.

Kay – Sorry. Nice to know you're enjoying this though.

Arialee – Thanks for the review. I've got a lot more tucked up my sleeve to come.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – That's later. Hope you liked this.

Leora chan – Thanks for the cookies. I had to share them with Duo. He's protecting me from the others. Don't know why.

Zuzanny – Hang on in there. I'm coming.

Dragon'sRubyEyes – Thanks for the comments. Nice to know I'm doing alright.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

1235467890

Quatre's POV

I stared at Howard in shock. He might as well have just held a conversation in Ancient Greek for the little sense I had been able to make of it. Only I would have understood the Ancient Greek _better_! And judging by his grin, he knew it.

"I take it the Milkybar Kid is Duo?" I managed to get out. That at least had been clear. Though more by Howard's body language than the words.

"Yeah," Howard nodded, "That's his handle."

"He uses Shinigami for that." Heero corrected. And he was right. During the War I had received e-mails and IMs from Shinigami. Duo had even used it as his hacking handle. He wouldn't use anything else. Shinigami was too important to him.

"Maybe online, sure," Howard shrugged, "But you don't choose your Trucker Handle. You get given it. And I gave the Kid his."

"So why the Milkybar Kid?" Sally asked.

"Because he was the youngest person to receive a specific handle." Howard replied, "The other options were: Ankle-Bitter; Rugrat; and Tricycle Motor. He counted himself lucky to get Milkybar Kid."

"But why that?" I was still puzzled.

"There's a type of chocolate bar called a Milkybar." Howard answered, "I saw the Kid eating one once. We'd had a delivery and he'd managed to run off with one. G had him on a pretty strict diet, and he's Street. He goes after food when and where he finds it. He bit into in _exactly_ the same way as the Milkybar Kid… An old advertising gimmick. Even had this little jingle: 'The Milky Bar Kid is strong and tough; And only the best is good enough; The creamiest milk, the whitest bar; The goodness that's in Milky Bar'. The first two lines became his catchphrase on the radio."

"You named him after an advert?" Wufei seemed slightly insulted on Duo's behalf.

"And I'm named after a cartoon _dog_!" Howard countered, "Hot Pants is named after her clothes. Snowman's is a pun on his name. Frog is always bouncing around. And no-one knows why the Bandit is called the Bandit! You don't take insult at your handle. You can turn it down… I would have just found another one."

"Smokeys?" Heero frowned. I was surprised that he was taking an interest in the language. But then again apparently the Smokeys would harm Duo.

"Smokey Bears," Howard grinned, "Or Bears, or Smokeys. They all mean the same thing… LEOs. The law. Whether Police or Preventer… It doesn't matter. You're all the same to us. You're all Smokeys. Other names include City Kitty and Local Yokel. Though that's usually just for local Police. If you're on a motorbike, you're an Evil Knievil. It's basic chatter."

"So lay an eyeball would be see." Heero was decoding the phrases, "Twenty is a location. Ten-Four is affirmative. Bear cave would be a police station…"

"Now where did you hear that?" Howard asked.

"I was asked one time to break into an encoded radio broadcast. Break the encryption on a recorded section." Heero replied, "Just after a kidnapping. They thought it could lead them to the criminals. Those terms were used. As was the Milkybar Kid."

"You did well," Howard laughed, "Not many can decrypt our broadcasts."

"It didn't help," Heero shrugged, "As far as I know they never cracked the code."

"It ain't a code," Howard snorted, "It's chitter-chatter. Been around for as long as there have been CB radios in rigs. Died out for a while, 'cause the Smokeys got wise. Then some guy came up with the encryption for our current set of radios. You can only get one if a registered handle takes you and registers your handle at the same time. That was about a year before Colonies. We've gone from strength to strength since. Doubtful that any Smokeys would be able to understand us now, without a little help."

"I think I can safely assume that Disneyland is Sanq." Sally pointed out, "I assume Saints are medics. And on the medical front, I've identified the drug in Duo's system. It's a strong pain-killer, without sedating properties, and a powerful stimulant. I don't think they gave it to him."

"What are you saying?" Wufei stared at his wife.

"Duo," I answered Wufei's question, "He drugged himself. He couldn't fight. He didn't have enough strength. He's still wounded, remember? So he cheated."

"It was a risk." Heero frowned, "He doesn't know anything about drug interactions. What if he got the wrong one?"

"I don't think he cared." Trowa shrugged. We all stared at him in shock and horror, "Did he Howard?"

"He said there was no flip-flop for him," Howard's voice was low and quiet, "He didn't think he was going to be coming back."

We couldn't speak. I didn't know how we had missed the fact. I had said it after all. Duo wouldn't kill himself… But he wouldn't stop anyone else from killing him either.

"Why?" Heero breathed, "Why would he want to die?"

"So he couldn't be used against us." Trowa replied. It seemed that the tallest of us, understood the shortest better than anyone else. "Duo did a lot of things for our safety. I think seeing us threatened… And believing that it was his fault…"

"But it wasn't!" Heero protested.

"How could he think that?" Wufei agreed.

"Brainwashing." I answered. They turned to stare at me, "Think about it. The only people who have had frequent contact with Duo have been the Conspirators. We don't know what they've told him. It is perfectly possible that they have made him believe that any harm to us… Is his fault. We all know how loyal he is to us. We can see how much he loves us. He could just blame himself for the threat to us. He could have been trying to eliminate the threat."

"He could really think like that?" Sally breathed.

"You heard him," Trowa shrugged, "You heard how he described himself. They have belittled him and abused him. Then when you add in his pre-existing issues…"

"Pre-existing issues?" Heero demanded to know.

I could sense the reluctance in my lover, before he spoke.

"When Duo told me about the Massacre, I got the feeling that he blamed himself. That he still does. That somewhere in his head, he believes that if he hadn't gone to steal the Mobile Suit… It never would have happened."

"Survivor's guilt?" Wufei frowned, "He never showed any signs of it during the War. He wasn't depressed."

"Would we have noticed?" Heero laughed bitterly, "I spent most of my time pushing him away. You practically ignored him. Trowa barely spoke to him. And Quatre had his own break-down to deal with…. Where, in all of that, was there time for _Duo_? He listened to us. He cheered us up. He fixed our problems. Even when we wouldn't admit that we had any… Did any of us listen to him? We didn't admit we had problems… Why should he? We just assumed because he laughed and joked like every other normal teen that he was _like_ every other normal teen. We forgot… Or didn't care to admit… That he was one of us. That he had _issues_, just like the rest of us. They weren't obvious. So we didn't look."

"We wanted one of us to be normal." I realized, for the first time. "We wanted so much for one of us to be normal that we didn't look for any problems with him. Because we all defined him as the normal one."

"The loud, brash American." Wufei sounded as if he was in shock, "He had to be normal… Because he acted normal… Because he didn't act like us. All quiet and reserved."

"We didn't see the truth." Trowa nodded, "He runs. He hides. He never tells a lie…"

"But that doesn't mean he tells the truth." Heero finished for my lover.

"Well he's not dying." I declared, "He still lives. We can still fix this. At least we now know what the problem is. Though any physiatrist is going to have their hands full.

"You hear me, Duo?" I turned to address the bed, "You're not dying. Not today. And not tomorrow. We only just managed to survive seven years without you. We need you. We need the _life_ that you bring. You can't quit on us now."

"Oh, he's not quitting." Sally declared, "I won't let him. I'm not letting Duo die on me. No way. No how. Howard! Is there any way I can warn the hospital we're coming?"

"I'll ring you up a Saint." Howard smirked, picking up the radio.

I prepared myself for complete and utter confusion. There was little chance that I was going to be able to understand even one word in three of what Howard was going to use.

I noted that Howard changed the radio channel, looking for a particular one.

"This is Hong Kong Phooey," Howard declared, "I'm looking for a Saint in the Disneyland area. Come back to me."

"This is Saint Catherine," A female voice came over the radio, "What's your emergency, Hong Kong?"

"I got a greasy side up Milkybar Kid." Howard shrugged, "I want him shiny side up. Can you get me a Meat Wagon?"

"What's your route and ETA?"

"I'm coming from Reiki. My ETA is about two hours. Could you meet me on the welcome mat?"

"It's that bad?"

"Probably worse. I'm not Saint."

"Well, tell me what you know." Catherine sounded stressed and desperate, "I'll work out what I need to warm up."

"I got one of your sister Saints on board," Howard grinned, "Now she ain't a normal Saint. Ain't a Trucker. She's a Smokey. But she's looking after Milkybar. You think you two can discuss technicalities?"

"Give me her name." Catherine demanded, "I want to know how competent she is. After all if we're trusting her with the Milkybar Kid…"

"Doctor Major Sally Po." Howard interrupted.

"Oh," There was surprise and respect in the tone, "I've heard of her. Only seen her in passing. She's good. Put Saint Smokey on. I'll exchange comic strips with her."

"Here you go." Howard handed the headset to Sally, "Don't worry about the slang. If you don't follow, ask. We're used to it. New guys never quite know what we're on about."

"Saint Catherine?" Sally didn't sound nervous, but I could see the worry in her face. I had to agree with her. We knew _nothing_ about Saint Catherine. Nothing about her training… Her abilities… Nothing. And yet we would have to entrust Duo's future care into her hands for a while.

"Nice to meet you, Saint Smokey." Catherine smirked, "I know you don't know much about me. But I used to be a paramedic. I've driven Blood Boxes. But I broke my leg during the Rebellion. I studied to be an ER nurse. That's what I am now. Along with Band-aid Buggy dispatcher. Do I qualify?"

"Blood Boxes?" Sally stared, "Band-aid Buggy?"

"Ambulances." Catherine supplied.

"I'd say you're pretty qualified." Sally acknowledged, "Though a doctor would be…"

"There're no doctors who are Truckers," Catherine countered, "At least not in the Disneyland area. Sorry, but it's the truth. I know you only want the best for the Milkybar Kid… But I'm the best there is. What's up?"

Sally started on the list of injuries Duo had sustained. I did my best to tune it out. I would rather not know at that point. Better that I didn't know until Duo was in the best care possible.

"So I should fire up the CT scan," Catherine's voice was still cheerful, "Kick the doctors out of their ready room. Prepare a room. And send the Meat Wagon down to the Port. Anything else?"

"You can do all that?"

"Hell, yeah. I can get you anything you want. And if I can't… I know who can. You gotta understand… The Milkybar Kid is a legend. He's right up there with the Bandit, Hong Kong Phooey and the Duke Boys. For the Milkybar Kid… We'll do anything. And I do mean _anything_. I've got a fair bit of pull with the local Saints. We'll skip the usual drop off at the Cathedral. And boogie straight on down to the Abbey."

"You lost me." Sally confessed.

"Small hospital without an ER department is a Chapel." Catherine explained, "A small hospital with an ER department is a Church. A large hospital is a Cathedral. And a teaching hospital is an Abbey. You sometimes work there, right?"

"Dare I ask why they're all named after Houses of Worship?"

"You seen the number of hospitals named after Saints?" Catherine retorted, "That's why medics are called Saints. And chitter-chatter started in the USA, so Christians got the edge in. I'm actually Jewish. Saint Monkey is an atheist. We're all types. But we're still Truckers."

"Saint Monkey?"

"Some Saints were Truckers before they were Saints. So they adapt their handle. Others, like me, became Saints and Truckers at the same time. So we were given a _suitable_ handle. Normally after an actual Saint. But some people have obvious jokes in their own names. It all depends. Now you look after our boy. You hear me, Saint Smokey? You look after him. I'll have a Meat Wagon waiting on the welcome mat. Over and Out."

We all turned to face Howard. We must have had the same look in our eyes.

"Welcome mat," Howard grinned, "Landing pad. Meat Wagon… Ambulance. Call it what you like. We have a lot of names for them. And they're all interchangeable."

"Will she manage it?" I asked, "I mean… She's only an ER nurse."

"How much of your company does your secretary run?" Howard retorted.

I opened my mouth to say that she only dealt with a little bit. But I closed it as a thought ran through my mind. The number of times she had provided insight into various things… The way she juggled my schedule… The fact that everything _I_ saw usually passed through her first… And she had refusal rights as well.

How much of my company does she run? And how much do _I_ run?

I didn't know the answer. I still don't. Though I sometimes fear that it is more in her favour than mine.

"You see?" Howard smirked, "Saint Catherine will manage."

I think we all jumped when the vid-screen flickered into life. But we relaxed when Noin's face appeared on the monitor.

"Hey!" She smiled, "How's he doing?"

"He's not given up yet." Sally replied, "But its touch and go."

"What about your end?" Wufei asked, "You can't have had much luck. You're only half an hour in."

"No," Noin agreed, "But I did find something that Duo did. I sort of need Heero's help to work out _exactly_ what he did. I would also like to know how to turn off the music. I can't find the switch. And I think I'm going to go _insane_ soon. It just started playing 'It's a Small World'."

All four of us winced. Surprisingly that had been one of Duo's more… _effective_ tactics during the War. At least psychologically. He would put it on loop. Three hours of _that_ song, and most OZ bases were _begging_ for Duo to blow them up.

We had only been subjected to it once; when both Wufei and Heero had dismissed it as a viable tactic. Five hours later and they were practically _begging_ for Duo to have mercy. He routed it through their Gundams. I had been impressed. I had surrendered after half an hour.

"Send me what you've got." Heero instructed, "Duo's good. But he always left a little backdoor. Unless he was trying to get at us."

"Oh thank god!" Noin breathed, "You suffered it too?"

"Only once." Wufei replied, "Thank Nataku! Five hours."

"Heero," Noin returned to the correct topic, "Find a computer, I've managed to open access to the computer server. Please find something. He's even managed to rig little Deathscythes to run around the computer screens."

"I was unaware that he still had access to that program." Heero stated. "It was a favourite of his during the War."

"Do you know the de-activation code?" Noin sounded hopeful.

"It varied." Heero answered, "I should be able to find the correct password shortly. I will need a laptop."

Typical Heero. Blunt… And although not demanding, expecting. I handed him mine. There was little I could do to help right then. And I didn't know… _We_ didn't know what Duo could have hidden on the computer system for us.

Using my laptop, Heero entered into the Sweeper computer system and linked up with the Resort Colony's computer system. He did at least take the time to disable all the speakers.

That was the weird quirk about Duo's program. If you managed to hook up a new computer to the system you could use the computer, just as normal… Unlike the ones that were already part of the system. However you still got the music.

If you could call that song _music_.

Which I didn't.

Heero's fingers flew across the keyboard. He is our best hacker and programmer. Duo is good. But Heero? He's in a league of his own.

It only took him a minute to break through Duo's security systems on the program. But then again, he knows a little about how Duo thinks, and that's always half the challenge.

The next problem was shutting the main bulk of the program down. That didn't take long.

However he did spend the next half hour trying to follow Duo's actions on the computer. The actual reason Duo had once told me for why he had come up with the program was three-fold. One was psychological; the music drove people to desperation. Two was that it allowed Duo, and usually _only_ Duo access to the system's mainframe. The third was that it also mucked about with the computer's memory, making his actions hard to spot… So you couldn't tell what Duo had actually done. Unless you were _very_ good.

Luckily Heero was.

"Quatre," He spoke after remaining silent for the full half hour, "Why is there music on WEI servers?"

"There isn't." I frowned, from where I had been slowly teasing Duo's hair from out underneath him, intending on braiding it.

"There is." Heero countered.

"There shouldn't be." Trowa stated.

"Then how do you explain this?" Heero pointed at the screen, where an impressive song list was displayed.

"All my staff," I replied, "Have permission to store music on their assigned computers, but it is _never_ to be stored on the main servers. That would simply be a waste of space. I cannot explain this. This looks like the song lists for several people mixed together. All the different styles and tastes…"

"Or just one person." Wufei moved from where he had been whispering to Duo, so low that even I could not hear him.

"Hnn?" Heero arched an eyebrow.

"You weren't in the prison cell with him the whole time," Wufei shrugged, "But I was. Duo used to sing songs when you were gone. All different styles… All different tastes. He has eclectic tastes."

"That's one of the songs Duo used to play in Deathsycthe." Trowa pointed to one title, "I remember, because I thought it was a Classical piece from the title at first."

"'The March of Cambreadth'," I read, "Sounds like a nice piece."

"It was always filed under Battle Music," Trowa smirked, "That should tell you everything about it."

"Loud and violent?" Sally interjected.

"And then some." Trowa nodded, "The chorus goes: 'How many of them can we make die?'."

"Sounds like Duo's kind of song," I conceded, "Hang on. That's one of Duo's too."

"They all are." Heero scrolled through the frankly impressive list.

"It's Duo's music." Wufei frowned, "Why would it be on your servers, Quatre?"

"I don't know," I answered, but then I thought about it, "Unless…"

"Unless what?" Wufei demanded.

"Unless Duo put it there." Trowa understood what I had realized, "Duo put it there."

"Trying to contact us?" Wufei pondered.

"Unlikely," Heero countered that hope, "He would have made it more obvious. One of the programs he created seems to hide the existence of the data vault. I need more time to understand it completely."

"Music is life," I shrugged, "Duo always understood that. He gave me his music to protect… When he left us, he took his stealth gear. Part of that was his laptop and his music player."

"He didn't have either on him." Heero argued.

"He sold them." Trowa stated, as if he knew, "Duo wouldn't steal, unless he had nothing left to bargain with… Nothing left to sell."

"But he would want to protect what he had on them." Heero nodded, "So he put his music, his old programs… and his photographs onto a safe server."

"And then he hid it." I nodded, "So that we wouldn't find it…"

"So that we wouldn't be in danger." Wufei agreed, "But without computer access he would never be able to do anything with them."

"Do you really think it mattered?" Heero queried.

"I doubt he's been thinking clearly for about six years." Trowa sighed, "He's been living off caffeine and sugar… That, the loneliness and the humiliation they probably inflicted on him…"

Trowa didn't need to say any more. We knew our failings. We hadn't found him.

All of the consequences were our faults. We hadn't found him. So he was insulted and used.

The Conspiracy may have actually performed the act of breaking Duo.

But we hadn't stopped them.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Okay, chitter-chatter terms that I didn't cover… And aren't obvious:

Cinderella's Castle – Relena's Palace/School – Because at the centre of Disneyland is Cinderella's Castle.

Barbie – Relena – I'm pretty sure everyone got this one.

Ken – Zechs – I know some people thought it was Heero, but I always meant for it to be Zechs, because as far as I can tell… Ken was useless. I never liked Barbies.

Choke and Puke – Roadside Dinner

Crotch-Rocket Cowboy – Biker

Mountain Lions – Terrorists – Don't ask me why, it just came to me.

Reikei – L1 Cluster

Floating Janitor's Closet – PeaceMillion – Or any other Sweeper's Spaceship.

If I forgot any, please tell me.

This Chapter is dedicated, as is my tradition now, to my four hundredth reviewer… Hellfire! Thank you all for your reviews.

Arialee – Glad you enjoyed it.

Wind Dancer1981 – So wish I could actually have a picture of that.

Dragon'sRubyEyes – Well, as long as no-one carts you off to the loony bin, you're doing okay.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – I need to age my viewing specs. I still watch kiddie stuff… What the hell, I'm not stopping!

Fauxsey – Me too.

Katerina Shinigami – Hope you didn't hurt yourself. And who said that there were only _Space_ truckers? There's Earth bound ones too. And the boys didn't get it, because chitter-chatter has gone very low-key and underground in the AC era.

Hellfire – Thanks for the lemon cake!

Anonymous Void – And Hong Kong Phooey's alter-ego was a Janitor… Janitor to Sweeper. Yes, my mind is warped. Snowman is actually Cletus Snow. Frog is again from "Smokey and the Bandit". But you got Bluebeard right and Glenda is anything else. If you didn't follow anything, just tell me what, and I'll tell you what it actually meant.

Enigmatek – It would be an honour for you to translate this story. All I ask is that you send me the link. I look forward to hearing from you. And good luck with the slang.

Kage Elric – Glad you enjoyed it.

Anonymous 25 – I think Predator. Glenda just came to me. Partly because my own mother is sometimes called the Wicked Witch of the West. Howie is from an old cartoon series. Type his handle into Google. But the rest of it is right.

So-kun – Nice to know.

Whitetiger1589 – Thanks for the review.

Leora chan – Glad you enjoyed it. And I'm sorry, _everyone_ is scared of a medic on the warpath. Even tough guys like Zechs.

Knyghtshade – Glad you thought so.

Kay – Thanks for your comments.

Toraus – Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Leshyaedawnfire – Thanks for the review.

Juniperjupiter – I'll do what I can.

Bunch-o-Nuts – Thank you.

Katsumadarkness – He's gonna be on a sugar high now. Nice to know you enjoyed it.

Tis Bo – Thanks for the cookies. And thank you for your words of praise.

Lilly – Glad you're enjoying this.

StarLight Pixie – Thanks for the review. I'm glad you're enjoying this. And most of the chitter-chatter only went over the boys' heads, because they've never heard of it before, due to chitter-chatter going underground.

Once again thanks to all my reviewers. This is my most reviewed chapter yet!


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Heero's POV

Trying to unravel Duo's movements on the computer gave me something to do. If I hadn't have had that, I don't know what I would have done. I needed the distraction.

Dissecting Duo's trails and then his data vault and programs, were required enough of my thought processes, that I didn't have time to think about how close Duo was to death. I didn't have time to think about how Duo was willing to _die_ for us… Without ever being ordered or asked to. At least not on that occasion.

For Duo to just… give up like that… It was so different from my mental image of him, which had remained intact, despite everything, up until that point.

It was shattered now. How much of what I had seen of Duo was _Duo_? And how much was his mask? I didn't know.

But I would have to find out.

We had all learnt to drop our masks.

It was time Duo learnt as well.

Did he even know what was beneath his mask? I wasn't sure that he did. Quatre once given me an old quote: 'We are not the masks we wear. But if we wear them, do we not become them?'.

Where did the mask begin?

Where did Duo end?

I… _We_ would have to find out. For I doubted I could do it alone. We had seven years of damage to undo. A year of Peace and a year of War, where we neglected and ignored him, to repay. And seven years of the Streets after the Massacre to repair.

We had more years' worth of damage to heal, than we had years of good memories for Duo.

That was when I realized that of all of us, Duo was just as damaged as the rest of us at the beginning of the War.

Wufei had had the loss of his wife.

Quatre had the almost abandonment of his father and the expectations laid upon him.

Trowa had the past of a Mercenary, but he had been healing with the building of Heavyarms. He had found a little peace in our then War torn Sphere.

I had the history of a trained soldier. I had learnt to hide everything. But I still felt emotions, despite everything.

Duo… I wasn't sure. I didn't know what the mask had hidden and what it had shown. But I wanted to.

Time seemed to pass quickly, before we landed on Earth, having first transferred to a shuttle, PeaceMillion was never meant to land on Earth. Quatre had, somehow, managed to rebraid Duo's hair. I was glad. No one else would get to see it down.

As Saint Catherine had promised, the ambulance was waiting. It hurt letting Sally and Quatre go with Duo, rather than me. But Sally was needed. And Quatre had the power to make decisions for Duo, so he was required.

The rest of us managed to pile into one of Quatre's cars and drove to the hospital. Though why Abdul was driving, I never did manage to figure out. Trowa and Wufei _refused_ to let me drive.

"I want to be able to see Duo in one piece _myself_, Yuy!" Wufei had growled, when I had protested that I could drive faster.

We arrived at the hospital about fifteen minutes after the ambulance. Quatre was in the surgery waiting room, furiously reading and signing papers.

"I hate paperwork!" He stated as we came in.

"Duo?" Trowa quirked an eyebrow.

"They took him off for a CT scan." Quatre replied, "They wouldn't let me come. But all this paperwork is needed for him to be admitted."

"I don't remember requiring that last time." Wufei frowned.

"That was counted as more of an emergency." Quatre shrugged, "This time, Duo's not on the verge of dying."

"He's alright?" I collapsed into a chair.

"I said he's not about to die," Quatre corrected me, "He also hasn't woken up. His breathing is still shallow. And his heartbeat is therefore slightly fast. The high oxygen level is keeping it from going too fast. He's not in immediate danger. But he's not safe either. Best way to describe it… He's got away clean, but it's a solo mission, and he's got to get back through nature. We're looking for him. But we don't know his route. And his radio is broken."

It was a good analogy. Duo was alive. But we didn't know how much longer he would hold on for.

Trowa sighed slightly, reaching out he claimed half the pile of paperwork and started filling in the blanks, before passing them to Quatre to sign.

Wufei claimed a chair, and I assume he started to meditate, because he stopped moving.

I carried on dissecting Duo's data vault. Maybe he had left a message for us.

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Sally entered about half an hour later.

"Well?" Quatre was the first off the mark with the question.

"When can we see him?" I demanded, the laptop now under one arm.

"Right now." Sally replied, "He's generally alright. The neurologist is looking over his scans. We've had to cast both his wrists, and bandage a few bullet creases and laser burns, as well as the electrical burns. He looks a lot better than last time… But it's still pretty bad. Most of the damage is internal. Stuff I can't patch. And some I can't diagnose, until Duo wakes up and tells me what's wrong."

"What do you mean?" Wufei frowned.

"What about his breathing?" Trowa inquired.

"Electrocution can really damage your nervous system," Sally shrugged, "His lungs are suffering at the moment. But they are recovering. He's breathing easier and deeper, though not by much. And I won't know if he's got neuropathy, until he tells me if it hurts or that he can't move something."

"When will he wake up?" Quatre asked.

"At this point, I don't know," Sally answered, "He's comatose. Could be today. Could be next year."

"Will he be able to hear us?" I needed to know. If he couldn't hear us, we couldn't tell him that we needed him. He wouldn't know that he had to come back from wherever in his head he was hiding.

"I don't know." Sally shrugged, "It's never been proven that a comatose patient can hear people. But it can't hurt to talk to him."

She led us to Duo's hospital room. It was light and airy, but I only had eyes for Duo. He was slightly pale, but he had been so for a long time. And the bags underneath his eyes weren't exactly new.

Sally had mainly placed self-adhesive dressings over the electrical burns, and she'd even made sure that the plaster casts on Duo's wrists were green. Duo's third favourite colour, right after black and red.

"Come on Sleepy-head," Quatre brushed Duo's fringe away from his eyes, "You can't sleep forever. We need you. Come on. Come back to us."

"You have to come back," Trowa was more blunt, "We can't carry on without you, Duo."

"You cannot do this to us," Wufei stated, "I owe you a debt. You cannot leave without granting me the opportunity to pay it back."

"We need you." I whispered, "_I_ need you. It was _you_, not Relena, that showed me I could use emotions, rather than hide them. You showed me the path I needed to follow. I can't go on without you. I've lived for the past seven years on the hope that I'd see you again. That I'd get to explain _everything_ to you. You can't die now. I need you. I always have… Even when I didn't know it."

There wasn't a flicker of life. Only the heart rate and breathing rate monitors told us that Duo was still alive.

We couldn't even hold his hands to try and comfort him. He probably wouldn't feel it, because of his casts. I sat by his bed, one hand gently laid on his upper arm.

"Why is he on Calcifer?" Quatre asked, looking at Duo's medical records.

My head jerked up. Calcifer is the colloquial name for Calci, the brand name for a particular medication. I don't know the exact name or details, I never was one for medical knowledge, but I had heard of Calci.

Centuries ago, before the colonies, when people were sent up into space they lost bone density and calcium deposits in their bones, because of the zero gravity. Exercise was used to reduce this, but it still occurred.

Research had discovered a pharmaceutical solution to this, the widely used AstroCal. AstroCal is commonly used by those who spend a great deal of time in zero or low gravity. Even the gravity produced by the Colonies is sufficient for AstroCal to be unnecessary. But for shuttle pilots and other such people, AstroCal is necessary. It reduces the loss of bone density. Add in sufficient exercise and bone density can be maintained at a healthy level.

However before there was AstroCal, there was Calcifer. I don't know the exact entomology of the colloquial name, but I was once informed by Duo that it was named after a demon.

It's appropriate. Calcifer has a huge number of side-effects, most of them serious in nature, and require a very precise cocktail of other drugs to off-set.

But what Calcifer _does_ is replace the calcium in the bones and restore bone density very quickly. It is only ever used in emergencies, when a person has gotten stranded in space for a long period of time, without AstroCal.

"He's been travelling between the Colonies without AstroCal," Sally shrugged, "Add in his poor diet, and pre-existing lack of calcium… This is the best option for Duo. And I'd rather get it over quickly for him, so that his bones heal. Also so that he is unconscious for as much of it as possible. That stuff is _not_ nice. But it is _very_ effective. If it wasn't, it wouldn't be used. The benefits outweigh the risks. Especially in this case. Don't worry. I've balanced the compensatory drugs _very_ carefully."

"How long?" I asked.

"A week, at most," Sally replied, understanding what I needed to know. "Any longer and I daren't. You all know that the side-effects get worse as the time increases. He should be alright by that point. We'll just need to keep pushing calcium tablets down his throat, until I'm happy. Probably mixed with some vitamin D."

"Will he be okay though?" Quatre pressed.

"He'd better be!" Sally almost snapped, "I don't care if he's got the lives of a cat! I've seen him lose eight in front of me. He's only got one left."

Duo had nearly died on Sally eight times? When? Why hadn't anyone told me? I had nearly lost Duo eight times. Not counting those times I knew of, which were far too numerous for me to think about, without going insane.

I had nearly lost him before I met him. Once to the Plague. Once to the Massacre.

I had tried to kill him the first time we met.

I had nearly killed him on Barge.

He'd nearly died with Wufei in that cell on the Luna Base.

I had nearly lost him because of the Zero System.

How many times? I had never counted. Had never gone though his reports to work out how many times. I had never dared.

He had confused me from the moment we met. He should have immediately shot me. Instantly killed me. If our positions had been reversed I would have killed him without a thought or regret. Then again, he never would have threatened an innocent, as Relena was then. And I would never have been inclined to rescue them. Considering what had happened since then, Duo should have let me kill her.

I had been curious about him, since the moment he broke into the hospital and I realized he wasn't going to kill me. That was why I had turned away from him, when he appeared on the monitor. I didn't need to know the face of the person who was going to kill me.

My curiosity turned to intrigue, when we next met up and he held no anger at me for stealing from him. Only worry and care. Only compassion and respect.

That was when we started having joint missions. I insisted that we share one, far too small tent. I wanted… I _needed_ to understand how someone like him, could be as good as soldier as he was. He didn't fit into the usual boxes.

I needed him close, so that I could try and see what made him so effective. But I never did.

I knew he was some sort of drug when I spent time with him undercover in a school. Everyone adored him. They all wanted to be near him. I couldn't understand why.

But despite being loved, he could still slip away when he wanted to. And no one would notice. Sometimes not even me. I couldn't understand it.

I stopped letting him out of my sight when I could help it. Keeping him in my dorm-room while I typed reports. I never expected him to fall asleep the first time.

Although we'd shared the tent before, I'd never been able to see his face when he slept. He seemed to lose about three years. He barely looked fifteen as it was. To see a twelve year old where Duo should be… That was strange. His face also relaxed. He wasn't grinning. Rather he was smiling.

It seemed more natural. More normal. Even though I'd never seen the small smile that had graced his face before.

Climbing in with him, I had declared a necessity at first. We both needed our sleep and there was only one bed.

But I hadn't slept so well in years. I hadn't woken up so relaxed and calm. So refreshed. So… So _happy_.

So the next time I made sure that he would fall asleep. I wore him out physically with sparing practise and the basketball he loves. I wore him out mentally with mission plans and chess.

I wanted to see that true smile again. I wanted to see him relax. I wanted the peace he gave me when I slept with him.

It was probably wrong. But he never complained. He also seemed… _happier_ when he woke up like that. Disturbed that I'd managed to get that close. But also happier.

But I still wanted to see that true smile of his. I knocked him out using pressure points when he got too annoying or too loud a few times. But forced myself to stop when I realized that I was doing it more and more just to see his face relax and really smile.

When I pointed my gun at him on Barge, I was proud of him. Proud that he didn't even try to beg for his life. He was like me. He was willing to sacrifice his life for the War.

However that was also when I realized that I couldn't imagine a Sphere without Duo in it… I didn't _want_ to imagine one. And I wouldn't let one exist if I could stop it. So I couldn't kill him.

Anger warred with pride when he was unceremoniously dumped into the cell on the Luna Base. Anger that he had come and failed to kill the scientists. Pride that he had taken the beating he had without crying out.

I had realized that he cared for me, when I saw and heard Trowa try to stop Quatre. And I knew… I just _knew_ that Duo would have done the same for me.

I realized that I loved him, when I restrained Quatre from rushing after Trowa's dead suit, both of us believing that we had lost the banged-teen. And I had known that had I been in Quatre's place and it had been Duo floating out into space that I would have been equally inconsolable.

But there was never a good time to tell him. I could never find the words.

Wufei had been right. I had never made my intentions clear to Duo. I had never told him anything. He had never asked… But I hadn't told either.

I had _never_ given Duo any sign that I might be interested in more.

Then I had lost him for seven years. And when he came back… I found that he had been trying to protect me… Protect _us_!

And we had failed him… _I_ had failed him. I should have found him. I should have brought him home. He shouldn't have had to have gone through what he did.

But he had. And willingly. For our sakes.

I would find out what was behind his mask. And I would both tell and show Duo that I loved him.

And maybe… just maybe, he would love me in return. I would gratefully take whatever he gave… Whatever he was willing to give.

Be it love. Be it companionship. Be it friendship. I didn't care.

Right then, all I could do was watch Duo breathe. And tell him that he had to come back.

He had to… He just _had_ to.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Sorry, slightly introspective chapter. I don't know what I was on. I _really_ want feed-back for this chapter, as I feel it deviates from my usual angle. Please, help a wannabe author.

Fauxsey – Hope you're back together now. And I hate that song too.

Anonymous Void – But the question is… Where they insane after or _before_ the song?

Hellfire – There goes my desire to eat more healthily. You have some of the tastiest treats.

Snowdragonct – Yeah, I first met 'The March of Cambreadth' through Sunhawk as well. Glad you liked the chapter.

Wind Dancer1981 – I will not stop until this thing is complete.

Enigmatek – Nice to know you're enjoying this. Will contact you shortly. Real Life is taking its toll.

Katerina Shinigami – Hope this pleased you.

Bunch-o-Nuts – There's a quote somewhere that says if you want to be a good writer you need to write a lot and read a lot. It was Sunhawk who first introduced the song to me. And I am a huge fan of her stories.

Kay – *Hands over tissues* Blow your nose. Glad you liked Saint Catherine. She pretty much wrote herself. Thank you for your review.

Katsumadarkness – Good things come to those who wait… Well, I hope this is a good thing anyway.

Dragon'sRubyEyes – Oh, I always intended Sally to keep Saint Smokey. It suits her.

Knyghtshade – I always liked codes and ciphers… Now where did I put that book on them?

Illusion-Factory – Nice to hear from you again. How are you doing? Glad you liked the chapter.

Lilly – Hope this was soon enough for you.

Arialee – You're welcome.

Zuzanny – Wait and see.

Peaceful Angel – Welcome to the story. And I hope to continue to meet your expectations.

Whitetiger1589 – Someone took your _internet_ away? Do I need to send Duo to sort them out? Glad you liked the last chapter.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – Do go and look up the song. I'm trying to get it onto my computer at the moment. I love it.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	34. Chapter 34

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Trowa's POV

None of us left Duo's hospital room for a week. We neither wanted to, nor needed to. The Maganacs fetching us changes of clothes and food.

Heero managed to copy all of Duo's music onto a music player and set it to continually play. He also arranged it so that none of what we recognised as Duo's 'Battle Music' played. More for our sakes than for Duo's really. That stuff is usually loud. And sometimes I wonder exactly why it made Duo act like a hot-headed fool. Duo's music is a complete mixture. From old classical pieces that Quatre grew up learning, to some of the newest popular songs. There's music in his collection that I remember the Mercenaries listening to, and songs that are played at the circus.

There are songs that make me want to cry. And songs that make me want to laugh. The music selection is eclectic and random. All styles. All types. All genres. I tried to figure out what would attract Duo to the songs. Why would he have only one song by this artist, but have the entire compilation of works by that one?

Some of the older songs surprised me. I had never heard them before. They were pre-colony era… Yet they were still relevant. They still _meant_ something.

Each of us recognised some of the songs as ones Duo had played around us. "Remember", "Only the Good Die Young", "Hallelujah" and "Now We Are Free" were ones Quatre recognised from just after Heero had self-destructed.

Wufei remembered Duo singing most of the Disney songs in the cell on the Luna Base, as well as a few others. The most significant of which was an obnoxious tune called "Star Trekin'", which we all decided we would never play again, after only the second verse.

Heero smiled slightly at "We Are the Champions", a song which I had initially thought would be loud. He also knew "Good Day Today", "Defenders of Anarchy", "Thunderbirds are Go!" and "Kryptonite".

For my part, I recalled more of his "Battle Music", and the odd song or tune here and there. One of the tunes he often whistled was called "The Great Escape", somewhat appropriate, I think. Another that I knew was called "Mack, the Knife", again highly appropriate. I also remembered the tune for "The Italian Job", but it had never sounded Italian to me.

Noin cast wary looks at the music system when she entered.

"Don't worry," Quatre smiled brightly, "We dislike _that_ song as much as you."

"Thanks." Noin sank down into a spare chair.

"How's it going?" Heero asked.

"Well, Tanner _was_ singing," Noin sighed, "Until his lawyer found out that Duo's in a coma. He's dammed himself. And identified the others. But he'd perjure himself in court, now. All we needed was one more day. He was on the verge of coping a plea."

"You would have let him?" Heero growled.

"Evidence and testimony to take all the others down, for felony murder to be switched to conspiracy to murder and a less extreme jail? Hell, yes!" Noin fired back, "We weren't losing much."

"Agreed." Wufei nodded.

"How's he doing?" Noin tilted her head towards Duo's still frame.

"His breathing's recovered," Quatre replied, "His bone density has vastly improved. So he's off Calcifer without any severe problems. And he's not sunk deeper into the coma."

"But he's not woken up either," Noin muttered, "Damn it!"

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"I've got good news and bad news," Noin shrugged, "The good news is that there is no way this will be covered up. The word is out. There is Public Outcry. They're calling for a trial. An open and public court case."

"And the bad news?" Wufei frowned.

"Because they can't cover it up," Noin closed her eyes, "They're pushing for an early trial."

"They're trying to be found innocent, before all the evidence is collated and interpreted." Zechs finished for Noin as he entered, "And the Public mainly doesn't believe the allegations. My sister has cultivated her image for too many years, for even this to sway many of her supporters."

"What about Dorothy?" Heero pressed.

"She's not saying anything," Noin replied, "We really need Duo. The court date is set for less than four weeks from now. Closer to three. Even _if_ I throw all the resources of the Preventer's at this… I can't guarantee that all the evidence will be in. I can't even guarantee conclusive proof."

"Duo's testimony may be the best chance we have at a conviction." Zechs sighed.

"_Relena_ is going to trial?" Quatre asked, "Surely she's been committed?"

"She's remarkably coherent," Zechs replied, "When she's talking about anything _other_ than Duo or Heero. Even then, she can still sound sane, if neither of them are present. She just sounds like she has an _amazing_ crush on Heero… and hates Duo… And I have no power over her. I signed away all guardianship rights when I became Zechs. I have not legal rights."

"She was screaming," Quatre frowned, "She was raving."

"Duo," I breathed, "He must have said something to set her off. He can get under your skin."

"What do we do if he _doesn't_ wake up in time?" Noin asked. The last two words were tacked on the end, as if she didn't believe Duo would _ever_ wake up.

"We've got recordings." Quatre answered, after a pause, "I'll get them to you, Miss Noin. They might help."

"At this point I'll take _anything_!" Noin stated.

"Did you receive our reports?" Wufei inquired.

"Yes," Noin replied, "I'm not sure how useful they will be. Trowa, are you _sure_ you don't know where that base on L2 was? He might have used it as a frequent hide-away. There could be vital clues… Key pieces of evidence."

"No," I shook my head, "I'd never been there before. Though I think it was an Alliance base, rather than an OZ or rebel base."

"The only Alliance base on that colony was torn down three years ago." Noin stated, "You must be mistaken."

"Not necessarily," Zechs countered, "Though how the hell…" He turned to look at Duo, and I could see the blood drain from his face.

I turned to look at Duo, myself. Nothing had changed. But Zechs looked as if he had seen a ghost.

"Oh good god!" Zechs breathed, "He's the Maxwell Church Survivor."

"Zechs," Noin looked as though she thought Zechs had lost it, "No one survived the Maxwell Massacre."

"No," Zechs shook his head, "One person did… Just a kid. I haven't thought about it in years… Trieze told me about him. I must have been about twelve. Trieze was seventeen… But even then he was ambitious. He had this big plan to get rid of the Alliance… To end all wars. And the Maxwell Survivor was the key."

"What?" The exclamation leapt from more than one throat.

"The Alliance soldiers found him after the Massacre," Zechs was still staring at Duo, "Among the rubble. They couldn't let him go. He knew what had happened. He could disprove the story they were going to release to the Press. But none of them could kill him either. I guess it was easier to kill innocents without ever seeing their faces."

"So what did they do?" Quatre frowned.

"They locked him up," Zechs shrugged, "There was a hidden base on that colony. The Survivor was imprisoned there, according to the records."

"How long?" Heero glowered.

"Two years, I think." Zechs replied, "According to the files Trieze managed to obtain, they were planning on waiting until he could pass for about fifteen, and then signing him up as a soldier. Cannon fodder really."

"And Trieze?" I asked.

"The plan was to 'rescue' him when he was about eleven." Zechs shrugged, "He would be assigned to me as my batman. We would reveal the deception and the Public Outcry would cause the destruction of the Alliance and OZ would be put in command instead. Under the control of the young Duke Khusrenada. Trieze told me where the base was. Showed me a picture of the kid… I never made the connection… He hasn't changed much."

"Then why did you never make the connection?" Wufei pressed.

"I thought he was dead," Zechs answered, "Trieze never said. Just that the plan was scrapped. I assumed the kid had died in an escape attempt."

"Well, it does make sense," Sally remarked. She had come in just after Zechs, "Trieze did say something weird once."

"Huh?" Noin turned to Sally.

"I had a spy in Trieze's household," Sally shrugged, "I was informed that when Duo's picture was splashed over all the news-casts as a Gundam Pilot that Trieze toasted the image. He said, _something_ like: 'Well done, little Belatucadros. Not quite what I expected. But you did as I needed. And without direction. Bravo.' It never made sense to me… But now…"

"Now you know." I nodded, "I take it that the statement was reported to you, in fear that Duo was a traitor?"

"I knew he wasn't." Sally shrugged, "You boys would have known. And he wouldn't have been rescued. Also… I couldn't imagine the Kid who broke into my hospital being a traitor to the colonies. It just didn't fit."

"Trieze was right though." Quatre breathed, "He helped destroy the Alliance. And then Trieze was ready to step in. A couple years late on Trieze's schedule, but…"

"What would we have done?" Wufei asked, "I don't think we could have won against Duo."

"But we wouldn't have known him." I countered.

"Doesn't matter," Wufei fired back, "If he had had the same loyalty to Trieze as he has to us… It doesn't bear thinking about."

"He would have piloted Tallgeese." Zechs realized, "And he would have been better than me."

"Found it." Heero declared, "The base is here, Noin." He pointed at his computer screen. "Mostly underground."

"Allah!" Quatre stared at the blueprints Heero had found, "It's a prison. He was there for two years?"

"Must have been," Zechs shrugged, "He would have been turning about ten. Trieze didn't want him before he turned eleven. Not only would it give Trieze time to gain control of the Specials, or OZ… But there was no military school that would take in anyone under eleven that he would trust to raise someone to be loyal to him. He needed Duo under my wing, so that Duo would be loyal to me, and I would train him to be loyal to Trieze."

The thought made me shiver. Duo had so very nearly been our enemy. I knew that without Duo, it would have been unlikely that we would have won the War. It would not have been the loss of Deathscythe that would have lost us the War. It would have been the lack of Duo himself. For the want of a nail the Kingdom was lost.

We all were silent for a while, just listen to our own thoughts and half-hearing the music. A new song came over the speakers.

"Change the song." Quatre's voice quavered with held-back grief, after a few bars. He was so close to crying and I knew that he would be unlikely to hold it back much longer.

"Why?" Heero frowned.

"Because I know why he liked this one," Quatre chocked out, "And I don't like it anymore."

"You know it?" Wufei asked, unnecessarily.

"It's called 'Close Every Door To Me'," Quatre whispered, "And if you _really_ want to hear what I hear, restart it. And really _listen_."

We did. I started to hate the song. It was beautiful. But it hit far too close to the truth of what Duo must have felt. Only without the hope that was in the song. I think Sally started to cry when the lines: "If my life were important I would ask will I live or die" were sung. I know Noin lost it when the lyrics: "Just give me a number instead of my name" were used.

I learnt to hate the line: "Forget all about me". Because that was Duo had wanted me to do. What he had wanted all of us to do, all those years ago.

We agreed never to listen to the song again.

At least not until Duo was back among us. Until his injuries both external and internal were healed.

We were all shaken when the song finished.

I don't recall what song came on next. Or even how long we just sat there, lost in our thoughts. Lost in our grief.

"Allah," Quatre was the first to dare break the verbal silence, "What did we do?"

"Not enough." Heero snarled, more angry at himself than anyone else, "Not fucking enough!"

"Easy," Wufei sighed, "We may have failed him. But not again. _Never_ again."

"I'll need your help." Noin pointed out. "You guys have resources and knowledge I have no hope in obtaining."

"I claim the night shift!" Quatre called out quickly.

"Morning." Wufei stated.

"Afternoon." Heero claimed

"Evening through to morning." I added, at Noin's, Zechs' and Sally's confused looks I shrugged, "My bed won't be comfortable without Quatre. So I might as well stay where he is."

It was true enough, and received a grateful smile from Quatre. I knew that he had anticipated me offering to share with him, and he would share with me. It would give us more time with our lost friend. And neither of the others would or could object.

We had far more important things to do than quibble about who got to spend more time with Duo. Though judging by Heero's face, he was thinking about it.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Hellfire – I could use the soup. I'm cold. Though I'm not sick! So that's a good thing.

Wind Dancer1981 – Thank you.

Camillian – Nice to know you're enjoying this.

Kage Elric – Yeah, I'll give you that. Heero is a little OOC… But not too much I hope. Thanks for the review.

Fauxsey – Random is great.

Whitetiger1589 – IT supervisors suck. At school I had one who managed to get all of Fanfiction blocked by the server. I protested. Nice to know I'm inspiring you.

Anonymous Void – I don't know what Duo will choose. I don't think he knows either. So I'll just keep on going, until it becomes clear.

Katerina Shinigami – Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Peaceful Angel – Actually I kinda made up both Calicifer and Astrocal. I needed a drug to solve a problem… Nice to know that I was convincing though.

Illusion-Factory – Oh, yeah. Good to hear from you again.

Dragon'sRubyEyes – I hope this was soon enough for you.

Katsumadarkness – Glad you're enjoying this.

Lilly – Everyone has an angst side. It's just a matter of finding it.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – Isn't music great? *Smirks*

Bunch-o-Nuts – Reading other people's work inspires me and improves my writing. And Sunhawk is incredible.

Kay – Thanks for your opinions. And good luck with the literature studying. I always hated that. I've got a copy of "To Kill A Mockingbird" on my shelves that is so covered in pen and highlighter I can't really give it away. It was one of my old school books. And I hated it.

Zuzanny – I'll see where this goes.

Enigmatek – You weren't pressuring me. I just was attacked by real life. I wish it would go away. I hope you got my message.

Malice2 – Guilt follows no logic. I still feel guilty for not thanking my grandma for sending me a broach, despite the fact that I received it less than twelve hours before she died. And I didn't know how sick she was. The Gundam Boys' are thinking that if they had tried just a little harder they might have succeeded.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	35. Chapter 35

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

1235467890

Wufei's POV

I hate Court. I used to like it. Seeing the final stage in Justice being done. But I hate Court when it stops being Nataku's temple and turns into a Three-Ring Circus.

And it was a Three-Ring Circus that first day in Court. Outside the courthouse there were several 'spontaneous' protests. Most declaring that the defending parties had to be innocent. They were calling for the prosecution of the accusing parties. In particular Duo.

Some of the protestors were calling for Duo's incarceration in the deepest pits of Hell, if I recall the wording correctly.

Others insulted Quatre as he entered the courthouse, declaring him a 'traitor' to Relena's friendship. We were very lucky that Quatre managed to restrain his urges to turn around and launch a blistering verbal attack at them. Which I knew he had been close to doing.

I had to stay close to Heero, so that he did not rush off to defend Duo's Honour and reputation from the fools. He would have done so violently. I hope they never find out just how close Heero was to pulling a gun on them and firing.

There was one group of protestors, however, that slightly disturbed me. They had no banners. They shouted no slogans. They didn't march in formation. They didn't engage with the other groups. They just stood there. Milling around. Talking to each other. Watching the events going on. The only thing that distinguished them from the Public was that each of them wore a braided band of fabric. There were four main colours in every band: black, green, red and purple. One tiny strip of pure white was also mixed in. They wore the strip as hair-ornaments, belts, arm-bands and sashes. Every method possible. It didn't seem to matter where they wore them, as long as they wore them.

I didn't know why they were there. And that worried me. Because apart from the bands, there seemed to be nothing that linked them. No common age. No common ancestry. No common dress. They were just a cross-section of the Public, all wearing the same mark.

I noted that the others also noticed them. While the police were more occupied with the rowdy members of the impromptu protests, I and my brothers were more concerned with the virtually silent section.

If they weren't there to get their words heard… Why were they there?

We sat just behind the Prosecution desk, ready to be called to give evidence. At the Defence desk sat the Conspirators.

We still didn't have all the evidence we required. Noin still had the Forensic Lab Rats and Field Mice (as they call themselves) processing evidence.

And Duo still hadn't woken up.

So we were flying on a wing and a prayer. Trowa had elected to stay with Duo until his testimony was required, which we doubted would be for at least a few days. Our plan was to drag out the proceedings until we got either substantive evidence, or Duo woke up.

Heero had wanted to stay instead. But Noin and I had pointed out that as the lead investigating officers of the combined case, we would need to be present from the beginning.

I hate Court. The dance. The phrasing. I hate it.

The only thing that makes it worthwhile is the hope of Justice at the end of the trial. And in this particular case, I was praying that it would be more than hope.

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For two days, we sat through testimony and cross-examination. With every passing moment we could feel the Prosecution getting more and more worried, as every moment allowed us more time to gather more evidence and more time for Duo to recover.

We drew out every witness testimony. Every presentation of evidence.

However it was a huge surprise to all of us, when Dani Messer took to the stand. She seemed to be a competent CSI and provided all the information in a polite and easily understood format. She held up well under cross-examination, though I believe that was more to do with the fact that the Defence were not trying to prove Duo innocent of any crimes. Rather he was to be their scapegoat.

The surprise came when we were finished with her.

"Your Honour," she turned to the Judge, "May I please speak freely to the Court?"

"That is an unusual request." The Judge pointed out.

"This is an unusual case," Messer countered, "Your Honour, I believe that what I have to say is very relevant. Even if it may take me some time to get to the point."

"Do you really believe we need to hear what you have to say?"

"Yes, your Honour." Messer nodded.

"Then speak freely," The Judge stated, "No one will interrupt you."

"Thank you." Messer turned to face the Jury, "Not many people know this, but I was born in the L2 Cluster. I don't keep it a secret. I just don't talk about it. To those of us who come from there, L2 is known as 'Hell in the Heavens'. It's an apt name.

"I come from what is known as the 'Ninth Circle' of that Hell. I attended a school not far from Maxwell's Church and Orphanage. And before you ask, yes… _That_ Maxwell's Church and Orphanage. The place of the Maxwell Massacre.

"My school was the same one the orphans attended. And among those orphans was Maxwell's Demon."

I saw the realization in the others at the same moment I realized it. Messer was acting as a character witness for Duo. Though whether for good or for ill, we did not know.

"We didn't name him. That was the adults called him.

"They said he was too wild. That he was untamed… _Untameable_."

I stifled a snort at that. Untameable? Yes, Duo is and always will be untameable. But you don't tame a wild animal. It loses some of its beauty and majesty if you tame it with whips and threats.

"Over seven families had tried to adopt the Demon." Dani shrugged, "He had never lasted more than a week at any. I believe his combined time in a family setting totalled just under five weeks. They always returned him to the Orphanage.

"Now, I wasn't a classmate of the Demon. But I was a contemporary. A couple of years above him, sure. But I knew him. Never knew his real name. But I did know him. I could describe nearly every single physical feature of him. I could recognise both his voice and his screams.

"He was impressive. He was… distinctive. Bright violet eyes. Chestnut brown braid of hair. Reaching to about half-way down his back. Always dressed in what looked like a miniature priest's outfit.

"It would only be much later that I would learn he was called Duo."

There were gasps from the audience. But we only nodded.

"Back then I was part of a gang." Messer shrugged, "It was called the 'Bedlam Boys'.

"In the Ninth Circle of Hell, there are two types of gangs. There are the Street Rat gangs. Those are just a bunch of street rats who club together so that they stand a better chance at surviving. They pick pockets and shop-lift, though usually only food. They never take much. And they live on the streets. There aren't many street rat gangs. Because a gang requires more than four people. Usually only three will join up together.

"The other type is the more dangerous type. They deal with violence and death. They use guns and knives. They kill. They deal with drugs. They do nearly all the things that the street rats are blamed for… Because they want to. Because they don't care. Because they like the power and the fear they get from being part of these gangs.

"The gangs recruit early. From the moment you start school, the gangs are there. Waiting for you to join. I joined at the age of nine. At that age, you don't do much. You carry packages… And you don't know what's in them. And you don't look either. You sneak into places and steal small things… If you're really good, you're used to unlock bigger places for the older members to rob.

"The kids are used for intimidation as well. Bullying and beating other kids into joining.

"Like I said, I was one of the 'Bedlam Boys'. Gender didn't mean anything to them. Of those my age, I was one of the tougher kids. I stood up for myself and I defended the gang. They said I was headed for big things.

"Of those of us who wanted to rise in the ranks, there was only one really obstacle. And it was an obstacle of our making.

"You see the Bedlam Boys' reputation was built on an old song. The song declared that we were the toughest guys around. We ate souls roasting in Satan's kitchen.

"Only, when you've got a reputation that tough… There's always someone around with a tougher rep.

"And that someone was the Demon of Maxwell's Church."

That didn't surprise me. Not only had Messer been leaning in that direction from the beginning, but I knew Duo. Even at a tender age, he would have had an impressive reputation, judging by the boy… no, the _man_ I knew now.

"Before he was of Maxwell's Church, the Demon had been part of the largest street-rat gang around. The second in command. Becoming the leader after the death of the leader during the Plague.

"Of all the street-rat gangs, his had the highest survival rate. And no one knew why. Rumour and legend has it that the Demon was the son of Death, and spread his protective wings over the street-rats to protect them. I don't know… But back then… I believed it.

"We stated that if you wanted to rise in the ranks of the 'Bedlam Boys', at least among the kids, you had to beat the Demon. To put him in his place… If we managed that… Maybe he could be convinced to join.

"But none of us wanted to get in trouble for fighting. So we made sure he would throw the first punch. Wasn't hard. He had a number of good triggers. Insult Father Maxwell or Sister Helen. He loved those two. Or pick on one of the other orphanage kids. We called them Demon-bait.

"You could threaten his braid… But to do that required that you had a knife. And after first two times that was tried… We didn't anymore. The knife wounds weren't worth it.

"Easiest way was to start beating up an orphanage kid. The Demon would always jump in to save them.

"Even when he was outnumbered twenty to one, he never lost. The fights always ended the same way. One or two of us on the ground either unconscious or unable to get up. The rest running away.

"Occasionally one of us would end up in the hospital. Nothing too serious really. A broken wrist. A cracked shin or rib. A slight concussion. Nothing worse than we got in any other fight really.

"Hell! The injuries were positively _nice_ compared to what we came home with after a gang fight. Pardon my language, your Honour.

"What always got me was how the Demon would be forced to apologize to us. Some of the others would see that as some sort of prize. That in some way, he was below us, as he was the one apologizing…

"I never did. Because he never apologized for hitting us. The best of the apologies I remember was when he broke my left wrist. 'I'm sorry, I broke your left wrist' he said, 'I forgot you were left handed'. He didn't apologize for the injury, just that he had inconvenienced me for school. That was the way with all his apologies. Not for the injury, just for the force used.

"He never lied. But he did as he was told… He apologised. Just not for what the adults wanted him to apologize for. And he always took the blame for starting the fight.

"He never lied. But he also never told anyone why he _really _started the fights. Though he probably should have.

"Even after an orphanage kid got adopted, he would still protect them. I saw several adopted orphans get picked on by the 'Bedlam Boys'. The Demon would come and save them. But they would join in trying to beat up the Demon. And they would flee with us… They would become 'Bedlam Boys'."

My heart caught in my throat. Betrayal. Betrayed by those he had protected… Was that why Duo was so willing to believe that we didn't care for him? Because those kids had not cared for him? Despite everything he had done for them. Despite some of them being part of that same street-rat gang.

"There was kid," Messer continued, "I don't even know his real name, or even if he was a 'he'. But he had been an orphanage kid, until he was adopted. Then he became a 'Bedlam Boy'. He was so good and _willing_ to play bait for the Demon he earned the nickname 'Wolf Crier'. As in 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'.

"I think he played bait about twice a week, for a full four months. And the Demon _still_ came to rescue him. Every. Single. Time."

It was Honourable that Duo had protected him. And Dishonourable of the child to use Duo's Honour against him. I didn't think, and still don't, that I could have shown such Honour. Was it naivety on Duo's part? Or longing for friendship?

I would have stopped going to the child's rescue after the third time. By the sounds of it, Duo had never stopped.

"However the one thing that will always stay with me," Messer was ignorant of my thoughts as she spoke, "I had a friend called Don. We're still friends. He was a 'Bedlam Boy' like me.

"Now Don liked to draw. He drew the best I've ever seen. He wanted to be an artist. Only his dad wanted him to be a boxer. A professional boxer. Don's dad was a construction worker by day, and not of those that used machines. He carried stuff… Heavy stuff. And by night he was the champion of the local amateur boxing group.

"He was seven foot, if he was an inch. Broad shouldered… No one argued or picked a fight with him.

"He used to hit Don around. If he caught Don drawing, he hit him around. If he caught Don skipping boxing practise, he hit him around. If Don lost a boxing round, he hit him around.

"Everyone knew. But no one did anything. No one wanted to confront him."

The words had been simple. But I had a picture of this man in my head. And I didn't doubt that everyone else did as well. But what I didn't know was where Messer was taking it.

"One day he started yelling at Don. It was just after school. I was standing next to Don, along with our other friend, Stella. We didn't say anything. We just stood in silent support as Don took all the insults that were being hurled his way.

"Looking around, I could see the teachers and other parents, they were glancing furtively at us. Turning away before catching our eyes. They were too scared to help. They weren't going to get involved. It wasn't their business.

"I could see other 'Bedlam Boys'. But they weren't going to get involved either. Some were even watching in joy and anticipation of what was going to come next.

"And it came… Don's dad finally got so worked up that he raised his hand to punch Don. I forced myself to keep my eyes open. To watch and support my friend.

"Only the blow never hit Don. Suddenly there was someone in the way. All I could see was their back. But that was all I _needed_ to see. There wasn't anyone else who ran around with a braid."

Duo. But why? I couldn't follow my friend's logic. He had no need to do that. I would not have. There was Honour in it. But I still would not have done so. You defend a friend. Or those too weak to defend themselves. Not someone who has assaulted you.

And yet Duo had.

"To this day, I will swear he came out of nowhere. I never saw him, until he blocked that punch. I almost started to believe he _was_ a demon then. For only a demon could have moved that fast. Only a demon could have blocked that punch.

"You have to understand, he was a runt. We always used to call him that. He was three foot _nothing_! If that.

"I remember thinking that if you took five of him, put them in a blender and pour the resultant liquid into a mould of Don's dad, you _might_… just might get everything up to the waist.

"He was a runt and he was skinny. Back then we used to believe that his braid made up over half his body weight. I'm not so sure that we were wrong.

"And yet… Yet Don's dad was scared of him. I could see it in his eyes. I could only see the back of the Demon. I had no way to tell what the Demon looked like… But it must have been intimidating. Because Don's dad didn't try to hit him again.

"The Demon didn't hit him either. He just talked."

That didn't sound like Duo. It would be more Quatre's thing to try and talk someone down.

"I don't remember exactly what he said," Messer shrugged, "But I remember the gist of it… Even if you're the greatest fighter in the whole Universe, eventually you get old. You get slow. You get beaten. And then you're a Nobody. You survive for only as long as you can keep on winning.

"Art… Art is forever. Art and music are eternal. They live on long after the creator has died. They still move people. They still touch people's lives.

"Fighting is for but a moment. Art and Music are forever. People will forget the Fighter. But they will never forget the Artist. The Fighter dies the moment he cannot fight anymore. The Artist never dies.

"He said that Don drew the best he had ever seen. And I wondered when he'd seen Don's drawings. Don kept them pretty secret.

"He said that if that was what Don wanted to do, then Don's dad had no business to be interfering. That it was Don's decision.

"And from this little kid… This little runt… This violet-eyed Demon… Don's dad cowed. Backed off, and walked away. But I could see the fear in him. He was scared of the Demon. Even though the Demon had not said a single threat… A single curse… Or even raised a hand for a single blow.

"And the Demon turned around." Messer lowered his eyes to stare at her hands for a moment, "I once asked one of the former orphanage kids why they wouldn't act as bait for us, he was a 'Bedlam Boy' after all. He told me he couldn't betray the smile. The smile that the Demon would give him after saving him. Couldn't betray the smile.

"Until the Demon turned around that day, I had laughed at the statement. Declared it stupid. Said that the Demon couldn't smile like that.

"That day I saw the smile. _That_ smile. The smile that makes you feel safe. The smile that warms you through. A true smile. An honest smile. The smile that made me feel guilty as hell. But at the same time, it let me fly. Even on broken wings."

I knew the smile. I had only seen it once that I could recall. That one time in the half-light of the cell in the Luna base. When he told me that Nataku would be rebuilt. He had brought me hope. With one smile and one simple phrase.

"And he spoke to Don… to us. I will always remember those words. 'Don't let him push you around. You're a good artist. See you around.'

"I quit the 'Bedlam Boys' the next day. And that's not easy. But Don stood with me. As did Stella. All three of us quit.

"We couldn't stay with the gang. The gang preached family and friendship as important. Said that we had to support each other. _Protect_ each other.

"Where were they when Don's dad had been going to hit him? What had they done? How had they helped?"

Messer closed her eyes. I could tell the guilt still haunted her.

"The adults called him the Demon, because they said he wasn't civilized." Messer looked up. He glanced at us, then the Conspirators, and finally he looked directly at each of the Jury in turn, catching each of their eyes, "Well, if civilized means standing by and doing nothing. Then I would rather be a demon.

"We were not angels. Yes, we sometimes ended up in hospital if he fought us. But we started the fight. And he would have his fair share of injuries. I know I broke his wrist once. But he never complained… Never."

That sounded like the Duo I knew.

"We had bullied, beaten, insulted and laughed at him… Yet he was the only one to come to our aid. If that is what a demon does… Then I would rather walk with demons than fly with angels.

"I had believed him dead in the Massacre. Yet his one act towards me and my friends has shaped the rest of my life.

"So, when you sit there and listen to the tales of the Demon… Duo Maxwell. Know that I am listening as well, and I know what he will do to protect people. The lengths he will go to. The distance his arms will spread to encompass those he cares for. For if he can stand tall and proud when someone over twice his height and at least ten times his body weight is threatening someone he doesn't even care for… What will he do for those he loves?

"So when they say that he did it because he believed he had no choice. I believe them. Because even after the Massacre, Don's dad never raised a hand to him again. So I believe them.

"I cannot make the images that the Defence are producing match those that I remember of a little boy, three years younger than me. But even then, he was set in his ways. He would never lie. He would always defend. He would always protect.

"Since then I have tried to walk his path. Follow his ways. It was because of him, I am where I am. I will walk with demons… I will walk with _the_ Demon."

She turned to face the Judge.

"That is all that I wished to say, your Honour."

"Thank you. You may take a seat."

Messer walked proudly from the stand. And she had a right to walk proudly. She had confessed to a very private and personal sin. All for the sake of one boy she knew over ten years ago. The strength it must have taken was immense.

And it had had an effect on the Jury. They no longer looked at the Conspirators with the same sort of awe. They seemed to understand that at one time, Duo had been a man to respect himself. I could see it in their eyes. They were wondering where the change had happened. Or if a change had even happened at all.

We had a little more support on our side now. A little more credibility to Duo's actions. For even a hardened cynic would have stated that Messer believed the words. They came from the heart.

The Court Room doors opened and in strode Trowa. But he came alone. Hurrying down to the Prosecution bench. Leaning over the barrier, he whispered to the lawyer. I couldn't catch the words. And the others didn't either.

But we didn't have time to question Trowa, as the lawyer stood and addressed the Judge.

"Your Honour, may I enquire why Duo Maxwell has been removed from the hospital he was receiving treatment at? And remanded into custody? He is still in a coma."

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Elfl – I take my time, I'm sorry. But I am getting towards the end. Just hang on. I've got a few more tricks up my sleeves.

Katerina Shinigami – Enough to fix maybe. But I've still got some surprises left.

Luna – Thank you.

Dragon'sRubyEyes – Wondered who would pick that up. 'Belatucadros' was the Celtic god of War and the destruction of enemies. Also referred to as a 'God of Death'. It literally means: 'Decorated by Death'. I thought it was appropriate.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – I hope you enjoyed the music.

Anonymous Void – I have a vague plan. But the details still need to be ironed out.

Hellfire – Thanks for the blanket!

Peaceful Angel – I seem to be hitting most of the negative emotions in this story. Still, it's good fun!

Lilly – I hope this was soon enough for you. Thanks for your review.

Whitetiger1589 – Okay, so I had to go look up what a fanmix was. I'm not so sure I could produce one, judged on what I read. But I haven't found any to listen to, so that I can get a good idea. I'll at least try to make a list for you… But it may take a while.

Kage Elric – Nice song. Not so sure it would fit, but I'll have to re-listen. Sometimes a song takes several goes for me to work out where it belongs in my head.

Zuzanny – This is the future. The laws are what I say. And yes, there is concessions made for coercion in today's courts. I believe in America it is reduced to Second Degree Murder, but I'm not sure what else.

Wind Dancer1981 – Try Youtube. They usually have all my favourites hidden away there. Though watch out for 'Star Trekin'. I once heard two lines of it. They were still in my head three years later.

StarLight Pixie – Always liked the Gladiator Soundtrack. Even if I still cry during the film. And glad I could introduce you to some new music.

Enigmatek – The way I'm telling this story, from the characters' points of view, doesn't really allow me much space to explain why Duo did what he did, seeing as none of them really understand it. In my experience, friendship isn't about the big things; it's about the little everyday things. I may later explain why Duo's devotion is as strong as it is. But not yet. They haven't gotten to the right point yet.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	36. Chapter 36

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Quatre's POV

I froze at the lawyer's words. Only one thought running through my head:

'They had taken Duo from us?'

I turned to face my lover, and saw only the mask he had erected. Cautiously I reached out with my Space Heart. I felt his guilt, his anger, his pain, his grief and his feeling of utter uselessness.

"It was pointed out to me, by the Defence," The Judge spoke up, "That the Prosecution may attempt to bias or lead the witness. The Defence asked that I place the witness into their care."

As one we turned to face the Defence and looked at their proud and smug faces. If they had Duo, then it was all over. We would _not_ allow him to be harmed. And I could see what the others could not. In Trowa's hand he held a zip-lock bag containing a small section of scalp tissue, a lock of hair and one chestnut, plastic locator beacon.

"However, I realized that the same statement could also be true in reverse." The Judge continued, "Therefore I have place Mister Maxwell into UESN care, at an undisclosed location, where he will be receiving all the care needed."

The Conspirators' faces fell. Duo was safe from them. But he was also out of our care.

"I have also taken the liberty of having his medication regime looked at. As it seems that the usual recommended doses have been ignored in his case. Whether by accident or deliberate sabotage for his care, I do not know. And would request a separate investigation after this trial."

That statement riled Sally up, and Wufei had to extend a hand to stop her from jumping to her feet. Sally takes her job very seriously. To imply inadequacy in her treatment, or worse still neglect of her Hippocratic Oath, is a personal insult to her.

Right then, we did not need Sally attacking the Judge.

We sat through the rest of the day's court. We didn't talk to each other. But with every moment that passed, I could feel the tension between us building.

Personally I was amazed that we managed to get all the way back to my place, where we were mainly staying, before Heero blew up.

"You let them take Duo?" He yelled.

"It's not like I had a choice in the matter." Trowa replied.

"You could have done something!"

"What exactly?" Trowa fired back, "Fight?"

"You did during the War!"

"In the War, I could of counted on Duo backing me up." Trowa growled, "In the War, I could have killed them. During the War, I was fully armed. During the War, I didn't try to fight in a _hospital_, while my friend was lying _unconscious_ in a bed behind me."

"You could have grabbed him and run!"

"How? He had a catheter. I can't remove those. I would do more harm than good. It was safer just to stand aside. Then they detained me, until Duo was half an hour away. I don't even know which direction. They even removed the locator!"

"Shut up!" Sally snapped, "This isn't helping!"

I could feel the frustration pouring off all of us. Heero was furious that once again he hadn't been there to help. Wufei was angry that this had happened. Trowa was guilty that he had let it happen. Sally was enraged that someone had questioned her capabilities and also scared that the new medication regime would be to Duo's detriment.

And I was worried. Without us talking to him… Maybe Duo would decide that he wasn't wanted. Maybe he wouldn't fight.

Before the argument could get physical, as I sensed it soon would have, the vid-phone rang.

"Howard!" I exclaimed, upon seeing the familiar face, "They took Duo."

"I know, boy." Howard replied softly, "But don't you worry. Howie will deal with it."

"It's our problem." Heero snarled, "He's one of us."

"Listen, boys," Howard stayed calm, "During the War, you trusted me with your most precious items. Your weapons. Trust me with this. If you boys start looking for the Kid… You might get him into more trouble. He may be one of you… But he was Sweeper first. And always will be. He's Sweeper. He's Trucker. He's Gundam."

"You don't understand what he means to us!"

"Don't I, boy?" Howard raised an eyebrow, "I've known that you were interested in him, since the second time I met you. I've known that the rest of you cared in some way for him, since I took all of you aboard PeaceMillion that first time. But the Kid… He's been my son… my nephew… my grandson, ever since we first met. So he means just as much to me. He will not be hurt because of me. And I will not let him be hurt because of _you_… Any of you."

I suppose I should have known that Howard felt that way. In retrospect it was clear to see. Where he had always called us 'boys', only Duo was 'Kid'. And he was _the_ Kid.

How many times had we missed the protective glances? I suppose none of us saw it, because all we ever saw and knew of were coddling or pushy fathers. A father that allowed their child to stand on their own and when they fell, only waited for them to get back up again if they could and helped if they couldn't… A father that didn't push and didn't try to drive his child in the direction that he wanted… That was new to us.

"My heart stopped when he told me that he didn't think there would be a flip-flop for him." Howard carried on, after a short pause, "The only reason I let him stay with you, and didn't come myself was that I know that the Kid only needs you boys to want him back, to fight.

"But right now, you ain't helping the Kid. And if you start looking for him… You'll only make things worse. So right now you are going to continue with the case. You will bring these people to justice. And then… Then the Kid will come back to us. Do you understand me?"

I have only heard that tone of voice once before. And that was just after Rashid had hit me.

Yes, Howard." I responded, without my brain's permission. Much to my surprise the others also chimed in as well.

Some things are automatic… Pre-programmed.

"Now, that's better boys." Howard nodded, "I have got some better news though. You know those chocolate bars you like? What are they called?… Milkybars?"

"Yeah?" I stared at the screen, barely able to make the word pass my lips. Surely Howard wasn't going to say what I thought he was going to say.

"A friend of mine," Howard grinned, "Says he knows where there's a crate or two of them. Only he can't move them right now. Something to do with his job. But he promised me he'd look after them, until you boys could come and claim them.

"He said that someone else had already been sniffing around. Said they were trying to get a-hold of the crates… Without going through the proper channels. Be as good as chucking them into a fire. But don't you worry, my friend'll look after them."

"What's his name?" Heero demanded.

"I'm sure I've mentioned him to you boys before," Howard shrugged, "You know… The guy with heavenly attributes… A Saint."

Howard must have believed that someone was bugging our communications, seeing as how he was dancing around the topic.

"You sure he'll keep a good eye on them?" I asked.

"He's an old friend of Josiah's," Howard replied, "He'll look after them. When this is all over, we'll sit around and share a few bars. You boys look after yourselves. And remember what I said. Don't go causing any more trouble."

"Yes, sir." I answered automatically.

Howard hung up. For a moment we didn't move, we didn't speak.

"Duo's safe." Wufei managed at last.

"But where?" Heero snapped.

"A hospital." Trowa answered. We all turned to look at him, "Where else would have a Saint?"

"He's safe," I breathed, "And if everything goes bad… Howard will get him out of there."

"Can we trust him?" Wufei asked.

"Yes," I looked at him, "Yes, we can. Because he's right. Duo is practically his son. And he would _never_ allow harm to come to him. And right now, what can we do to help? If we located Duo, we'll tip off the Conspirators. As long as neither of us know exactly where he is… He's safe."

"And if anything," Trowa came in, "He's safer if we don't know. They won't try to move or harm him, if they believe we don't know… And that it doesn't look like he's going to wake up any time soon. And even if they bribe his doctors… On our side are the Saints. Or one Saint in particular. They'll keep him safe."

"But why would they?" Heero demanded, "They have no investment in him."

"He's a Legend." Sally stated calmly, "Remember? Truckers who haven't met him would do anything for him."

The discussion ended there. Though we knew very little about Duo's location, we had to be content with what we did know. And Trowa was right. Duo was safer if we didn't know. And safer still if he didn't wake up. As much as it pained me to think about it, the longer Duo stayed in a coma, the less likely he was to be able to make it to Court. Thus he was less likely to be a threat to the Conspirators. With the Preventers watching their every movement, any action against Duo would have to be absolutely necessary. And it would probably be fatal on Duo's part.

No, it was safer if we left everything in Howard's hands. He wouldn't let anyone harm Duo.

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Court was hard the next day. Hard still the next.

Every day that passed without hearing any news about Duo was hard. And the difficulty only increased with each day.

By the time the eighth day had come around, we were irritable to say the least.

"Before either side begins to make their statement this day," The Judge declared at the start of the day, "I would like to ask both the Prosecution and the Defence if they know the location of Mister Duo Maxwell?"

The question was like ice-water down our backs. There would be only one plausible reason why he would be asking. And that would be if Duo was missing.

"The Prosecution has no knowledge," Our lawyer rose to announce, "We would also like it noted that we have also not looked, respecting the decision of his Lordship in this matter."

Sally stifled a snort. The only person's decision we had respected had been Howard's. And he was no Lord.

"However we would also like to know, why his Honour is asking such a thing? Is there some fact that we should be made aware of?"

"The Defence also states ignorance in this matter." The Conspirators' lawyer declared.

It wasn't a lie either; judging by the shock and horror on their faces. Oh, they had known where he had been hidden. But they had also believed that he was still there. Still safely unconscious.

"At one pm, yesterday," The Judge stated, "Mister Maxwell was positively seen in his room at the hospital where he was being treated. His disappearance was noted at six pm, and confirmed before seven pm."

It had taken them six hours to confirm his disappearance? Five to even notice that he was missing? That meant that no one had been watching him… That no one had been looking after him… That he had been left all alone.

And once again, we had left him. We had let him endure that hell… Alone.

I could hear Heero grinding his teeth in anger. Wufei was trying to calm his breathing. Sally was biting her lip. Trowa had reattached his mask of stone. And I had to force my hands to open, as they clenched so tightly that my nails were cutting into my palms.

We tried to contact Howard that night. But he wasn't answering his calls.

He wasn't answering them the next day.

Or the day after that.

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We should have been looking for Duo. I had the Maganacs out hunting… But we had to attend the trial.

It was about eleven o'clock when a beat permeated through the walls. Boom. Boom. Bash. Boom. Boom. Bash.

It was soon joined by singing. Loud singing. Joyous singing. I couldn't make out the words. Though the tune was familiar. But I couldn't place it.

I couldn't place the beat either. Though I noticed that mine wasn't the only foot trying to tap along to it.

Court continued.

Barely ten minutes later the double doors at the back of the court room opened noisily. Letting more of the music wash over us. One door was held open by a broadly grinning Miss Dani Messer, dressed in a semi-formal suit, which she had always looked rather uncomfortable in.

The other door was held open by a man I'd never seen before. He was dressed far more casually than Miss Messer. But seemed far more comfortable in his clothes. Blue jeans, held up by a black belt with a silver and blue buckle. Red shirt, with the sleeves slightly rolled up. Light brown cowboy hat. He had short dark hair and a moustache. A smirk graced his features, even as he leant against the door to prop it open. Around his right upper arm was tied the five-coloured band that some of the protestors outside wore.

But I wasn't paying him much attention.

Instead I was transfixed by the person who stood directly in the centre of the doorway.

Dressed in white, more of an apparition than a person, to my confused mind. I simply could not process what I was seeing. And I do not believe that I was the only one so confused. For not one person spoke. Not one person stood in the figure's way, as it moved down the central aisle.

As it approached, I could see it's mode of dress. More than just the colour. White boots, with silver spurs that jangled. White trousers. White chaps. White shirt, with red at the cuffs and silver buttons that made the light dance. A silver six-pointed-star pinned to his chest on the right side. A red kerchief tied around its neck. A white cowboy hat, with a red band. Twin silver pistols sat in matching white holsters.

The apparition's pace was steady and even as it moved towards us.

No one dared speak. Every eye watched as the figure moved. The silence was overwhelming and deafening.

The apparition stopped just short of the Bar.

"Who are you?" The Judge demanded, "And what is your business here?"

The figure bowed to the Judge, staying low, even as he lifted his head and tapped the hat upwards, so he could regard the Judge.

And then the apparition… the person spoke. Only a handful of sentences, but they were enough to cause uproar. And while the first few were spoken alone, I know that I was not the only one to mouth along with the speaker for the last couple.

"Duo Maxwell. At your service, your Honour. I run. I hide. But I never tell a lie."

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – Glad you enjoyed it.

Arialee – Thanks for the review.

Anonymous Void – Really? Only eight? That's good. Thanks for the psychology report.

Illusion-Factory – I didn't make that connection. It's a good one though.

Peaceful Angel – As my old music teacher used to say: "To make the fortes loud, you have to make the pianos soft."

Kage Elric – I hope I continue to live up to your expectations.

Enigmatek – Yes, little Duo is sort of cute.

Katerina Shinigami – Good luck with the defence of Catopia. And if you do use Relena's eyes for marbles, please do it away from me. I have… _issues_ with other people's blood.

Kay – Nice to know you liked the last chapter.

Katsumadarkness – Thank you. I am humbled and awed by your words. Thank you.

Zuzanny – Keep watching. I've got a few tricks left.

Hellfire – Yes. Find the *&^%£!* who gave me this cold, and make them take it _back_! My nose is alternating between running and blocked. And the headache comes and goes like a wilful cat!

Juniperjupiter – Glad you enjoyed it. And hope your course goes well.

Wind Dancer1981 – Thank you.

Tora – Dani is a girl. I tried to correct the mistakes, but I'm not sure if I got all of them. Thanks for pointing it out.

Lilly – Sorry, my spelling isn't too great. Thanks for catching that.

Singergirl221 – *Looks around slightly embarrassed*. Yes, I have been watching CSI: NY lately. I only just got the last season on DVD. And I often find it hard to invent characters that aren't Mary-Sues. So I borrow them.

Toraus – I hope I corrected my mistake. Thanks for pointing it out.

Bunch-o-Nuts – Hey, Dani wouldn't shut up. Glad you enjoyed it though.

Silver Eyeshine – Welcome to the story. Nice to know you like it.

Whitetiger1589 – I'll work on the music choices. Some I can't tell you about yet, because I think they might be relevant later on. I'm still working out delivery of plot here.

20eKUraN09 – Nice channelling of Wufei. Glad you like my story.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	37. Chapter 37

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Duo's POV

I couldn't remember much at first. I didn't know what had happened.

And I don't recall much from those first few… What? Hours? Days? I don't know.

A snatch of music.

A murmur of a voice.

The beep of a machine.

Slowly things became easier to remember. I became more aware.

The music became tunes. The tunes became songs.

The murmurs became words. The words became sentences.

Surprisingly the first voice I remember hearing the words of was Trowa's.

"I thought I made you promise to take care of yourself?" Trowa sighed, his voice quiet. "I don't call nearly dying on us, taking care of yourself, Duo. You have to come back."

I couldn't remember why I had nearly died. I could barely remember the promise. Never mind why I had made it.

But if I had made it. Then I had to keep it.

Up until then, it had been curiosity that had brought me back. I never did know when to leave something well enough alone.

Funnily it was when I heard the song 'Concrete Angel' that I remembered what had happened. I always understood that song. Some people only hear the tune. Others grieve for the little girl. I smile for her. She's happy at last. And I understand how she feels. She's free.

That was when I stopped fighting. I started to let myself sink back. My promise didn't mean I had to fight my way back. Just that I keep myself as safe as possible. I was still allowed to die.

And what did I have to live for? They didn't need me. They were safe. I didn't… have to protect them anymore.

"Please," Wufei whispered, his voice pleading, "Come back to us, Duo. We can't cope without you. We're broken, unless you come back to us. We need you."

There was a tone in his voice. A tone that I'd only ever heard once before. And that was a long time ago. And the voice wasn't Wufei's. It was from a child. A very young child. Who didn't even have a name. But that didn't matter. He was begging for the only older brother he'd ever known to live.

It broke his heart when he died… Broke my heart. Solo dying, nearly killed me.

I couldn't do that to the others. I didn't want to hear that tone of voice again… _Ever_.

I had two choices. I could either let myself slip away. Or I could fight… With no guarantee that I would manage to make it back to the others.

"Please, Duo." Wufei repeated, "You have to wake up."

That clinched it. Hearing that tone again was not going to happen. I would _not_ hear it again. Not while I could still fight.

I don't know how long it took me. I slept a great deal. But I did fight.

I don't think the others realized. I don't think they knew.

But slowly I became more aware. First smell came back to me. And it was Quatre that first let me smell something other than hospital. Quatre is all desert and heat. And mint. Cool, refreshing mint.

Anything was better than antiseptic and the sick smell that hospital beds accumulate by that point.

And smelling Quatre… That brought back some memories. Some good… Some not so good. The desert wasn't always happy for me.

The next sense was taste. As I discovered when they poured… literally poured… a meal drink down my throat. It was strawberry flavoured.

Touch and sight almost came back simultaneously. Not that I could open my eyes. Only sense the changing light levels through closed lids. I just couldn't summon the strength to open my eyes. It was frustrating.

It was also confusing. The feather-light touches were almost alien to me. Especially when it was Heero performing them… Yes, they had touched me almost like this in the hospital before and even at Quatre's place… And Quatre always had touched me gently.

But they had never touched me as if I were made of glass. As if I would break. And it scared me.

They never discussed how seriously I was hurt where I could hear. So all I had to go on where what I could feel and how they treated me. And how I felt wasn't much on the pain front, but I guessed that was the medications' fault…

But if they were treating me like glass… Then I was not doing well.

I was trying to fight. But I wasn't making much progress.

I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't move. I couldn't twitch. I couldn't talk. I couldn't even clear my throat… Flare my nostrils… Alter my breathing rhythm.

I was trapped.

I nearly gave up hope there and then when I realized.

I don't know how long passed between my periods of consciousness. It could have been hours, days, weeks, months… or even years.

I had no way of telling.

Then I heard voices. People telling each other to move me carefully… But it wasn't the others' voices.

I felt hands move me. Lifting and carrying… But they weren't my brothers' hands… I could tell. They were gentle… But they weren't caring. It was just a job to them… _I_ was just a job to them.

"What's gonna happen to him?"

"Your orders are to transport him. You only need to know your destination."

I stopped fighting… What was the point?

If I was being moved… Then the others didn't want to see me anymore. Or they would have moved me themselves. Or at the very least Sally would have overseen it.

They didn't need me.

They didn't want me. And that hurt. Because I still wanted to be wanted by them.

So I stopped fighting. And my senses once again began to fade away from me.

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It was the drums that got through to me. The drums and the trumpets. First the drums. Then the trumpets. Bright, brassy notes. Music that I know intimately.

It's the "Fanfare For The Common Man". All trumpets and drums.

It's the piece of music I always used to play before a planned fight. It's not loud. It's not violent. It's just music. Beautiful music. It inspires me. It reminds me of why I fought.

I clung on to my awareness. I wanted to hear it. I wanted to… I had to hear it out. So I stopped sinking back into oblivion. I made myself stay aware and awake.

It ended. And another piece began. Bagpipes leading the way. The "March of Cambreadth". Another piece of my "Battle Music".

Whoever it was that had chosen this music… They knew me.

And they knew me well.

It was just after the third verse, in the instrumental that the person spoke.

"Hey kid," I knew the voice, but I couldn't remember who it was, "You've gotta fight this. Your brothers are in trouble. Big trouble. And you're the only one who can get them outta it. They need ya."

I trusted the voice. I didn't know who it was. But I knew that I trusted them. So I believed them. My brothers were in trouble.

I started to fight again.

I will never be sure whether it was because I had something more definitive to fight for, my brother's safety, or because I was stronger… But I regained the ground I had lost very quickly.

But I still couldn't move.

I stopped letting myself fall back into slumber. Fighting against exhaustion. Fighting against rest. I fought with every fibre in my body.

"Come on kid." I heard the voice again. I didn't know how long it had been. But my Battle Music was still playing. It had never stopped. "Give me a sign you're in there. Tell me that you can hear me. Come on. Twitch your fingers or something."

I tried. I really did. But my fingers felt like they were in the world's stiffest pair of gloves.

But there's always another way. So I tried to speak.

Instinct and habit, made me lick my dry lips first.

"You back, kid?" The voice asked.

"Tell you later?" I croaked.

"Come on, kid." The voice chided, "Open those baby blues for me, will ya?"

"You colour blind?" I asked opening them. "They're violet, Snowman."

I only needed to see him to know who it was. Cletus Snow used to be a Sweeper… But he quit. Long before I joined. But he still kept in touch. In fact, during the War, he often helped me get from A to B, with my Buddy. Very few people knew that I was Pilot Oh-Two. Outside the others, Sally, Howie, Zechs, Noin, Lady Une, Relena and the other Conspirators, there was only really Snowman, the Bandit, Frog and the Duke Boys (of course, that meant that Uncle Jesse knew, as did Daisy and Cooter)… Oh and a few trusted Sweepers, like Josiah… And a few guys I always thought suspected, but they never asked.

Snowman… He's a good friend.

"Well," Snowman smiled, "I ain't seen them in so long, I can be forgiven for not remembering."

"Sorry." I breathed.

"That's alright, kid. Get some rest."

"The others?" I demanded.

"The situation will still be the same tomorrow. You've been out of it for a while."

"How long?" I didn't know. And I was scared. How long had I missed? Anything could have happened.

"Bit over a month kid." Snowman whispered, "And nothing is life-threatening. You can fix the problem tomorrow. I promise."

I couldn't fight my exhaustion any longer. I fell asleep, Snowman still holding my hand.

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When I woke up. I wasn't alone. And my Battle Music was still playing. I did wonder how I had managed to sleep through it.

It wasn't just Snowman in my room either. At some point he'd been joined by his usual partners in crime: the Bandit and Frog.

The fourth person, though. He wasn't one of the Bandit's crew. But I knew him.

"Nate?" I managed to get out.

"Drink some water," Nate held out a cup with a straw for me, "And take it easy."

"I'm fine." I argued.

"Do I need to recite to you the definition of 'fine'?" Nate argued.

Never argue with Nate. His actual name is Nathan. He's an old friend of Josiah's. Used to be an Army EMT.

Not Alliance. Just regular Army. Then Rebel.

His call-sign was 'Healer'. So when he got his handle, it was 'Saint Healer'.

He's patched me up a few times. Back when I was with Howie and the Sweepers. He helped me out during the War too.

Unlike Quatre, I didn't have a group of loyal men to obey my every command. Unlike Trowa, I didn't have a suitable cover that allowed me to move as I willed, still bringing my buddy with me, and also get help with other stuff. Unlike Wufei, I didn't have the money to buy what I needed… And Heero? Well, between what Dr J sent him and the things he stole, he could get anywhere and get anything.

All I had was a network of contacts. No guarantee that any of them would help… Yet there was always _someone_. Nate and Josiah had a handful of friends who sheltered me for a while. If they ever knew who and what they were sheltering; they never said. And they never asked either.

Truckers are almost anarchist by nature. We never liked the Alliance. We hated OZ. And we just about tolerate the UESN…

We don't really care who is in charge. As long as they don't try and control us.

Nate's put up with a lot people who have told him they're fine, when really half their arm is falling off. He's gotten a little annoyed about it.

"Alright," I managed to get out, "How bad is it? And when can I go help my brothers? And what trouble are they in?"

"The Legal kind," the Bandit drawled, "They're trying to prosecute the Mountain Lions. Only they're angels if ya listen to the Public. The trial ain't going down too well. They've gotten some support from us, and a few people are starting to believe that it is _possible_ that the Lions ain't all sweetness and light…"

"Only it ain't enough." Frog took over, "We gotta a guy who's been listening and watching. The Jury aren't convinced. "

"They need something that can't be rejected." Snowman declared, "We need something irrefutable… Or they're just gonna turn around lock ya up and start to prosecute your running partners for something."

"You need me." I closed my eyes.

"How much can you move?" Nate asked, "I've detached your IV and catheter, so you're basically free."

"How bad was I hurt?" I asked, staring right into his brown eyes.

"Pretty bad kid." Nate shrugged, "But you've had some good care. I'd personally like to tie you down to that bed for another three months, at least. Until you'd put some meat on your bones… But that'll never happen. So you're going to have to look after yourself."

Nate has never pulled his punches. But he doesn't always tell you just how bad it is either.

"Let's see how you're running." Snowman suggested.

I waited for Nathan's nod, before I tried to move. I was already propped up in the bed, so I didn't have to sit up.

I checked each muscle that I could. My toes, feet and legs were fine. A little stiff, but that was probably lack of use. I knew they would be weak when I tried to walk.

My arms worked fine. My torso moved where I wanted it to. And there was no problem with my neck or facial muscles.

The problem was with my hands. I could barely move them. My fingers twitched slightly as I tried to move them. But apart from that… They might as well have not been my hands.

I stared at them. White bandages around the wrists. Old scars hidden by the paleness of my skin.

I frowned at them, as I willed them to close. Slowly they obeyed. But it felt like I was straining against a massive weight. It felt like I was trying to crush a stone. It felt like Heero was pulling against me… But not using his full strength.

I opened them again. This time it felt like I was pushing against something.

I repeated the action several times. Each time I found I could complete the action faster. But it wasn't any easier. I was simply learning how much effort it required… And learning that if I wanted to move my fingers I had to concentrate on them. It wasn't instinctive.

But I wouldn't need my hands for what I had to do. I only needed my voice and my brain.

"I can move." I declared, "Let's see if I can walk."

"Frog, out." Snowman ordered.

"But…!" She protested

"I'm sure the Kid doesn't want you to see his butt." Snowman pointed out, "You can come back in, when he's back in the bed. Or decently dressed."

I hate hospitals. And I hate hospital gowns as well. They ought to be banned.

Frog left, and Snowman helped me down from the bed. Much to my surprise, my stay in a hospital bed, hadn't made my muscles atrophy too much. I actually managed to walk the length of the room and half-way back to the bed again, before my legs gave way.

Nate and Snowman caught me before I hit the floor. With Bandit's help, they managed to get me back into the bed. The Frog came in, when Bandit called her.

I reached up and touched my face with my fingertips. It felt like someone else was touching me. I couldn't feel anything in my hands.

"Why aren't there alarms going off?" I asked, staring at my heart monitor, which was definitely not reporting my current heart rate. My heart was beating at _least_ double time.

No one answered. At least not verbally, but the smirk on Frog's face and the screwdriver she was flipping in her hands answered my question.

"You always were a smart one, Frog." I grinned at her.

"It wasn't too hard." Frog laughed.

"How far away are we?" I asked. I didn't have to elaborate. They understood.

"Nine days drive." Nate replied, "Though I would prefer that you wait two days. Get a bit more strength up."

"I don't have the time." I retorted, "Four and a half days."

"That's impossible!" Nate was shocked, "It would need a miracle."

"From here to Central Sanq in a hundred and eight hours? That ain't never been done before." Bandit pointed out to me.

"That's cause _you_ ain't never done it." I countered, "You gotta stop thinking so negative. I know your rep."

"The kid is right." Snowman shrugged, "That's our rep."

"We've got a long way to go," I stated, "And a short time to get there."

"We're gonna do, what they say can't be done." Bandit finished the quote for me, "You think we can make it?"

"Course we can make it," I snorted, "You ain't never _not_ made it yet, have ya?"

"We'd better do a switch of our usual method," Snowman frowned, "The Frog and I will block, while Bandit takes the trans-am."

"You can't do that!" Nate protested, "Your rigs won't move fast enough."

"We'll find a way." Snowman stated, "Bandit, Frog, you go outside. We can't smuggle the Kid out easily. He'll come out through the window. Bandit, you're catcher. Frog, deal with the cameras. I'll get the Kid sorted."

"I'll get you some pain-killers." Nate followed the others out the room.

Snowman picked up a bag from the corner.

"You can't dress yourself, can you?" He asked rhetorically.

"No." I shook my head, eyes closed against the stinging tears.

"Let me help you." He instructed.

"Alright." I agreed, before balking at the white fabric he removed from the bag, "Oh _hell_ no!"

"It's this or scrubs." Snowman countered, holding up the clothing. A white Milkybar Kid shirt.

"Okay." I conceded after a moment's pause. "Am I to assume that the full outfit is present in there?"

"Yeah," Snowman grinned unrepentantly, "Come on, Kid. We've been trying for over half your life!"

"Couldn't I wear the _other_ one?"

"No." Snowman smirked, "I'll give you a hand."

Well, it wasn't so much a hand, as he basically dressed me.

Before he went to put the hat on my head, he reached out and touched my braid gently.

"It's a mess." He told me, "Close your eyes. I'll fix it. Imagine I'm anyone you like."

Snowman knows that I don't count him close enough to touch my hair. He's a great friend… But he's not family. However I didn't really have a choice. I couldn't do it myself. I had no one I would be normally willing to let do it. And I couldn't leave it as it was. Snowman was the best choice around. So I let him.

My mind drifted. I ignored the gentle tugs and pulls as he carefully rearranged my hair.

"Done." He placed the hat on my head. Then he stared me straight in the eyes.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Will the mask hold?"

"What?"

"You're pretending. You always have. And I could always see it. But what I don't know is whether your mask is strong enough to survive this. You can't let them see how much you're hurting. That's your advantage right now. They don't know the full extent of your pains. You can't let anyone find out."

"I know." I nodded.

"It's a lot to ask of you, I know. But will it hold?"

"It's got to." I choked back the tears. Boys don't cry. Not for themselves. Tears only get your face wet.

Nate came in, interrupting the moment.

"Alright," He sighed, "Now, I checked. You don't tolerate Morphine well. And Fentanyl takes double doses to even touch your pain… Oxycodone is the best option for you."

"Yeah, I know, I'm a pain." I chuckled.

"I can't get you any of the controlled drugs," Nate stated, "So I'm afraid it's back to the basics."

"Calpol and Nurofen?" I asked.

"Paracetamol and Ibuprofen." Nate nodded, "Both in liquid form as you seem to tolerate it better. Also has faster delivery. Don't exceed the maximum doses."

"Yadda, yadda, yaddah." I interrupted, "I know, Nate. And I won't. I promise. I won't disobey the dosages."

"Good." Nate took in the outfit, "About time you wore that."

"Nate!" I sighed exasperatedly.

"It could have been worse, kid," Nate shrugged, "They could have made you wear the Space Prince one."

"Oh, hell no!" I breathed, "That thing looked _horrible_! At least this thing has guns."

"Water-pistols, Kid," Snowman laughed, "Water-pistols. Like hell I was giving you a gun."

"How is he getting out of here?" Nate asked, "It was hard enough getting _in_!"

"You don't work here?" I frowned slightly.

"My wife does." Nate replied.

"Wife?"

"Married her about a year ago." Nate smiled, "You missed a lot, Duo."

"I know." I nodded, "I didn't have a choice, Nate."

"You always had a choice, Kid." Snowman pulled me into a loose hug, "You just didn't see the angles. We would have helped you. We would have protected you. We would have hidden you."

"And what about the others?" I argued.

"We would have found a way." Snowman assured me. "But that is the past. We'll leave it there. We'll help you from here."

"As Josiah would say," Nate added, "Friends are the sailors who guide your rickety boat safely across the dangerous waters of life."

"Would he?" I asked.

"He did a while ago." Nate nodded.

"We've got to go." Snowman declared, "Help me, Saint Healer?"

Snowman held up a rope, a fixed loop at the bottom.

"You can't lower him on that!" Nate snatched the rope. His quick hands added two extra loops. "Hand holds."

"Good call." Snowman agreed. "Come on, Kid. Time to go."

They lowered me out of the window. Bandit was at the bottom, and he quickly detangled me from the rope.

"Sorry about this, Kid." Bandit drawled, "But I don't think you're in any state to run."

It showed just how much weight I had lost that Bandit managed to scoop me up in his arms like a child, as his long legs carried him back to his car. A black Trans-Am, with a golden phoenix design on the hood. That car is Bandit's trademark. As unique as the designs on a Rig. As unique as a Handle.

He slid me into the passenger seat, and I carefully watched my hands, as I did up the seat-belt. I was determined not to show my weakness to anyone. I would not let them know that I was crippled… That _I_ was a useless cripple.

"Here, you forgot these." Snowman placed the paper bag containing two bottles between my legs, "The pain-killers you're currently on won't last forever."

"I know." I nodded.

"We'll block for you as long as we can." Snowman stated, "But your best hope lies with speed."

"And anyone else who wants to pitch in." Bandit grinned.

"I'll key the mike." I smirked.

Bandit gunned the engine and we were gone.

Carefully watching my hand, I reached out and grabbed the mike on the dashboard.

"This is Milkybar Kid to all points." I declared, "I'm on a run from the Holly Land to Disney Land. I'm riding with the Bandit. And we're hammer down. I don't need any bear bites. So if anyone not worried about Bears could help me out. I'd appreciate it. Come back to me."

"Nice to hear from you, Kid!" the cry came over the radio, "It's Greebo here."

"Grave-Robber. Good to know you're alright. I can run some interference for ya. But I'm a little more Disneyland way. So give me a holler when you're closer. What's your expected ETA?"

"I'm aiming for four and a half days."

An impressed whistle came over the radio, several of them to be precise.

"I see why you need our help." A new voice declared.

"Yeah," I agreed, "So if anyone out there has no forgeries in their current comic book… I would appreciated the hand. I got a long way to go. And a short time to get there."

"Good to know you're alive and kicking." Grave-Robber stated, "I do so hate being the driver on the penultimate journey of friends."

"I have no intention of placing that burden on you, old friend." I smiled.

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The journey is best remembered as long, tiring and filled with conversations on the CB. It seemed every Trucker wanted to welcome me back to the land of the living. I also used the trip to stretch all my leg muscles. I would have to walk into the Court House on my own. I could not let any weakness be detected.

Pain also came back. The stuff Nate had given me barely touched it. My hands ached and hurt. It was the only thing I could feel from them.

We actually managed to arrive at the Court House after only three days. I know I slept a fair bit of the way. And occasionally Bandit slept too. But he spent most of the trip dosed up on Trucker's candy, fast-food and lots of caffeine rich drinks.

The crowd was expecting us. Or at least most of the crowd was. The protesters supporting the Foreign Minister and the other Conspirators weren't. However they couldn't protest.

The police were far to distracted with all the problems the Truckers were causing to be tightly regulating the area, so we drove straight up to the front doors. The crowd split before us.

Before I knew what was going on, someone had started the beat. Stomp. Stomp. Clap. Stomp. Stomp. Clap.

It spread, as I got out the car. I couldn't help my smile. I waved and mock bowed to the Truckers, even as the singing started… As I knew it would, the moment the beat had been taken up.

The confusion on the other Protesters' faces was a sight to behold. They couldn't understand why I was being given the Royal Treatment… And they didn't know the song either.

Bandit joined me on my walk into the Court House. No one opposed me. There wasn't the man power.

And I needed the support. For the moment the doors shut behind me, my knees nearly gave way in the hall. Bandit caught me.

But he wasn't the only one. A second pair of hands were supporting me.

I looked up between my bangs, as I got my feet back under me. It was a woman I'd never seen before. She was dressed in a suit that she would rather not be in.

"It's good to see you again." She told me.

"I don't know you." I frowned.

"No," She shook her head, "I wouldn't expect you to remember. We went to the same school on L2. I was a couple of years above you."

I didn't say anything. My past… At least that far back… Is the past. I don't think about it. At least not about the school.

"Look," The woman stared at me, "I'm Dani Messer. And I didn't treat you all that well back then. But you still stood up for a friend of mine. You didn't have to. But you did so anyway.

"I told myself that the next time I saw you, I would apologize, say thank you, and ask if you would consider being my friend.

"I'm sorry. Thank you. Could you possibly forgive me? I would like to be friends. I would rather walk with demons than with the humans that scorn him."

"Well, Dani," I smiled at her, "It's nice to meet you. But I have somewhere to be."

"I know." She agreed, "That's why I'm here. You changed my life. I'm a CSI. From L3."  
"Well," Bandit drawled, "If you know why the boy is here… Can you show us which way to go?"

"Certainly." Dani grinned, "But we'll have to open the doors. I would offer to get a wheelchair, but I know the Demon never shows his weaknesses."

She was definitely from L2. Only they ever called me the Demon. And they would know that the Demon doesn't get hurt… Or if he does, you never know.

I wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

But she led us to the Court Room doors. They were large wooden things. Relics from a long time ago. Bandit and Dani made sure that I could stand on my own, before they went to open the doors.

I steeled myself.

I fixed a smile on my face.

Showtime.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

And once again, thanks to all your reviews, I have hit a milestone. Five hundred reviews. Thank you all. And this chapter is dedicated to my five hundredth reviewer: Windwraith!

Malice2 – Rewind. And Play. Glad you enjoyed it.

Anonymous Void – Thanks for the data. I did know a little about jury selection. I read it in a fiction book once, about how to fix a trial. Good book… Can't remember the title or the author. Anyway, thanks for the review.

Illusion-Factory – I do so agree. It was a good film.

Katerina Shinigami – Just clean the blood up. I'm fine afterwards. Glad you liked the chapter.

Windwraith – Duo always knows how to make an entrance. Thanks for the chocolate.

Pattyard – Duo probably looks a fair bit like some sort of ghost actually. But that's cool.

So-kun – Like Duo would take all of this lying down. And the silver platter is waiting.

Hellfire – Cold nearly gone. Didn't see a doctor. What was the point? I have Day and Night Nurse. I'm fine. Thanks for the concern. And Duo's dressed like a cowboy, because he's dressed like the Milkybar Kid. The one in white.

E – I hope that I will not disappoint.

Enigmatek – Ready and waiting. Glad you liked Duo's entrance.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – I may not like _reading_ cliff-hangers. But I love writing them.

Peaceful Angel – My music teacher? He was an _acquired_ taste. You had to fight him to get his respect. That's what he wanted. And the music? Not so random. Only a few people have managed to name it yet. Any guesses?

Wind Dancer1981 – Nice to know. Hope this pleases you.

Fauxsey – Mind. Gutter. Out. Nice to know that you liked it though.

Zuzanny – Glad you enjoyed it.

Toraus – You're right on the money. And one of only a few people to get it. Well done.

20eKUraN09 – Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Airalee – Glad you liked it.

King1234 – Welcome to the story, and nice to know that I surprised you.

Kage Elric – Go look up the Milkybar Kid on Youtube. Duo's dressed as the White Cowboy Sheriff from the adverts… Not his choice.

Whitetiger1589 – I'll keep writing. And thanks for the hugs.

Remedy – I have no intention of stopping… For one thing I don't like lynch mobs.

Solitaire – Your first guess was correct. And I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

Lilly – WooHoo! So I guess you enjoyed the chapter?

Kay – Nice to know. And I'm fond of Howie, too.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	38. Chapter 38

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Heero's POV

I will admit that I didn't obey Howard's instructions. I had tried to look for Duo. I had a few clues that I could follow, after all. He was in a hospital, or at least attended to by nurses. And he was with a Saint that Josiah knew. By the way Howard had described it, Josiah knew this Saint well.

I tracked Josiah Sanchez's history from his birth to the current day. I investigated every nurse, paramedic, doctor, EMT and other medical personnel that he had come into contact with, whether they were trained at the time or not.

It was a staggering list. Josiah had served with the Rebels and with a regular Army at various points. He had attended college for four years to gain a Psychology degree. He had been a Sweeper. He had even been a 'Smokey' himself at one point. And now worked for the ATF.

Which didn't make any sense to me, if the police were so hated by Truckers, why was he still considered one of them, despite his profession? And why had he been on the PeaceMillion?

He had travelled extensively as a child, with his missionary parents. He had numerous hospital visits logged, most predominantly in the last four years.

There were hundreds of names to cross-check. And it was slow going. Even after I removed all the names with which he had only had contact once, those who had retired and those who were ineligible for other reasons.

It was an almost impossible task. And I still hadn't found Duo, when he was declared missing.

Seeing him walk through the doors, made my heart soar. He was alive. He was awake. He was coherent. He was still Duo.

It was only when he straightened up, after his bow, that I realized just how much he was the old Duo.

The Mask was back in place.

"Mister Maxwell," the Judge stared at Duo, "You were reported missing just under four days ago."

"I thought so," Duo grinned, "I made good time."

"Why did you leave the hospital?"

"I never liked hospitals much," Duo shrugged, "And I heard I was needed here. So I checked myself out."

"Checking yourself out, Mister Maxwell, requires that you inform the staff that you are leaving."

"Really? No one ever told me. I didn't want to waste time."

"Well, then, Mister Maxwell, on which side do you stand? Prosecution or Defence?"

"With them." Duo waved a hand in our direction.

"That was a rather swift answer."

"I always stand with them."

That gave me hope. He still cared for us. He wasn't going to leave us. At least not yet.

That had been one of my fears. That Duo would just give up on us. After all, we hadn't been the first to fail him. At some point his generosity and kind nature would _have_ to give out.

"Very well, Mister Maxwell. Are you willing to testify?"

"Willing and able."

"First surrender your weapons." One of the Court Guards insisted.

"Take them yourself." Duo declared as he placed both hands behind his head.

It was a classic surrender pose. The only variation was that he didn't interlock his fingers. That suggested that he didn't trust the situation. That he thought he was still in danger. The time to move his hands into a defensive position would be less the way he was standing. There were only two conclusions I could draw from the action.

He didn't trust us to watch his back. Or it could be that he wasn't used to having anyone he _could_ trust. I hoped it was the latter rather than the former.

The guard removed the paired weapons carefully, while his partner kept an eye on Duo.

"They wouldn't have done any harm," Duo shrugged, as the guard moved away from him, "They're only water pistols. You can keep them."

"Mister Maxwell," The Judge frowned, "I must ask you why you are making a mockery of my court!"

"I don't mean to." Duo replied wide-eyed.

"Then your appearance is an accident?"

"This was not my idea." Duo waved at himself, "I have been trying to avoid this outfit since I was about twelve years old. And, up until now, I have succeeded. When some of my friends came to give me a ride, they gave me a choice between this, hospital scrubs and the hospital gown I was in. I went for the one thing that would be the most dignified. I do apologize if it seems like I am mocking your court, but it was not by my choice. This is a hangover from a nickname I have carried for many years."

A careful selection of words. He wasn't intending to mock the court. But he didn't say that he wouldn't have done it anyway.

"Are your friends present now?"

"These particular friends are not currently in this Court Room." Duo announced, after a quick glance around.

Again, careful selection of words. For I could see the red-shirted man that had held the door open for Duo had retreated slightly, and now stood only one step outside the Court Room.

"Very well then. Do you swear by your God or Goddess that the evidence you shall give shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

"I run. I hide. But I never tell a lie." Duo countered, "I don't think you want me swearing on my God. God of Death, after all. But I do solemnly, sincerely and truly declare and affirm that what I shall say shall be the truth and nothing but the truth."

"Then take the Stand."

Duo walked slowly up to the Stand, and sat down in the seat. He tilted his head forward, to allow his hat to fall into his hands, before placing it on the stand in front of him.

"Mister Maxwell," The Prosecution lawyer stood up, "Can you describe how you came to be involved in this case?"

Duo carefully and precisely explained the entire situation from the first moment he was approached to when he left Quatre's manor. The only detail he left out was exactly what the threat was, only mentioning that he had been blackmailed.

I could sense the others getting angry as we realized that Relena hadn't just been a part of the Conspiracy, but that she had been one of the leaders.

Wufei, for one, went pale when he realized just how close he had come to being in Duo's shoes.

"What were you blackmailed with?" Our lawyer asked. All four of us cringed. We didn't need the information getting out.

"The five of us fought in the War," Duo shrugged, "The Gundam War. We think we were the youngest on any side that actually fought. We all made mistakes. And people paid for those mistakes. After the War, we were all given pardons. As were all the other soldiers. But as we had not been directly underneath anyone, we were classed as a separate group. I was told that they would revoke our pardons."

"What were these mistakes?"

"Things I would rather not go into." Duo replied, "But if you want mine. I blew up part of a hospital, while rescuing a friend. Granted, it was a military hospital. But it still was a hospital. I do not know how many people were injured, or even died."

"You never checked?"

"I had other things to do." Duo shrugged, "I don't know how many people I killed during the War. I don't like to think about it. After the War, I didn't want to kill again. Only I didn't have choice."

"You truly believed that they would carry out their threat?"

"Miss Relena has never liked me. I blame our first meeting. If it would hurt me, she would. I doubted that she would hurt Heero. But she knew I would not risk any of them."

"You are sure it was Relena?"

"I met her during the War. Didn't know who she was at first. But I got to know her a little. I know her. I can tell the difference between her and a look-alike."

"What happened after you left Mister Winner's house?"

Duo carried on telling his story. I heard Quatre gasp when we learnt where Duo had hidden initially.

"And can you identify those people, who were part of the Conspiracy?"

"Yes," Duo nodded, "Claudia Mann. Karla Stone. Quinton Nielsen. Hung Tanner. Mizuno Toshino. Bahadur Isa. Relena Darlin, nee Peacecraft. All of whom are sitting at the Defence table. Also part of the Conspiracy were Jun Xue and Commander Une."

I froze. I could hear the others suck in breath as they realized we had missed one. But why had Duo not mentioned him before?

"And where is Mister Jun?"

"Dead." Duo replied bluntly, "But that occurred much later. If I may ask, where is the Commander?"

The title surprised me. He called her Commander? I would have thought that Colonel was more appropriate. Given what Une had done to him.

"We will get to that later. How did they describe what you would do?"

"I would come when called. I would go when sent. I would do what I was told. I was never to be seen. I was never to be heard. Once a month I would meet one of them and receive money off which I was to live."

"How would you describe it?"

"I can't." Duo closed his eyes, "But they also called me a servant, a slave, a weapon, a tool. I preferred the description that Jun used. I was their Attack Dog. I occasionally retrieved items. But I was predominantly their Attack Dog."

"Could you describe what you did?"

It wasn't any easier listening to the list than the first time. And this time it was more complete. Mentioning everything from murders to theft. He even stated how he started shop-lifting to stay alive.

The worst part was watching his face. I'm not sure whether it was because he wasn't strong enough to hold his mask, whether it was because I knew the mask existed, or whether it was because I was really _looking_… But I could see the pain in his eyes. The pain that the smiles and grins tried to hide… And failed.

Oh, he fooled many people. They really believed that he wasn't hurting. That he was in control. And he was. Only it was sheer will-power and determination that kept him going. He showed the right emotions at the right times. But I knew he just wanted to cry.

I wasn't the only one. I could tell by the way Trowa, Quatre and Wufei were staring at Duo that they could see the same thing I did. Quatre's hands were pressed firmly over his heart, until Trowa forced them down and into his grip.

Every word from Duo's mouth was the truth. He doesn't tell a lie, after all.

The lie was in his face… In his posture… In his movements.

He wasn't letting anyone know how hurt he was… How broken he was.

Only we could see it… For the first time, we really saw beyond the mask while it was in play.

I wished he would talk to us. Using the sign language he knew so well. But his hands stayed silent. It wasn't a lack of inability. I have known him to carry on two simultaneous, but completely different, conversations without worry.

And he could use his hands. He would every so often reach out and quench his thirst from the glass on the Stand.

Duo hadn't given up on us. But he wasn't talking to us, either.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Milliefluff – Glad you enjoyed the chapter.

Hellfire – Thanks for the tea! Love it. Only got a runny nose now. And that's intermittent. So I'm fine.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – I hope you enjoyed this.

Juniperjupiter – Thanks for the review. Nice to know you liked it.

Illusion-Factory – I'm more a fan of the Magnificent Seven _series_. And I had to put the tag line from Smokey and the Bandit in there. It was _necessary_. Nice to see that _someone_ is spotting my references.

Anonymous Void – Watch out, the Truckers protect their own. And you got the song right… So well done.

Arialee – When Duo kicks butt… He kicks butt!

Katerina Shinigami – Sometimes you have to go backwards to go forwards. And I like suspense… At least when _I'm_ the one writing it.

King1234 – I have no intention of stopping. And I hope the quality continues to be sufficient.

Wind Dancer1981 – Thanks for the review.

Solitaire – I may not be old enough. But there are re-runs on telly. And my dad is a huge fan.

Bunch-o-Nuts – Keep on reading. I'm not going to make this short or sweet.

Lilly – I hope this is soon enough for you.

Whitetiger1589 – Nice to hear from you. Thanks for your support.

Toraus – Glad you thought so.

Fauxsey – Nice to know you enjoyed it.

Peaceful Angel – My old music teacher was hated by most of my year. They saw him as a bigot. I learnt the truth. He was trying to hide insecurity. That's when I learnt about masks. Glad you enjoyed the chapter.

Zuzanny – Keep on waiting. The girl knows when to keep her mouth shut.

Kage Elric – Don't worry about long reviews. The fact that you are a regular reviewer is enough for me.

Dragon'sRubyEyes – Thanks for your complements.

Kay – Everyone seems to think Duo could carry the outfit off. I just wrote it for the laughs. At this point, I'm slightly torn between wanting to see a picture of Duo in the outfit and worried that it wouldn't work.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	39. Chapter 39

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Wufei's POV

Every detail. Every humiliation. Every pain. It was like a knife to my soul.

I thought I had understood the level of Duo's devotion to us. But his words were proving me wrong.

I thought I had known what he had done for us. But he had gone to greater lengths than I had ever believed. And was going to greater lengths than I ever imagined. I doubted that I could confess what he had done. Especially without my voice wavering.

What also amazed me was how well Duo knew us… Knew _me_. Even back then. He had been right. Back when all of this had begun, doing what Duo had had to do… It would have broken me. I would have become what Duo had not. A completely emotionless tool… He still had a little fire in him.

I winced when Duo confessed that he had known that he had killed an undercover cop… But only because the cop's identity had already been blown.

I bit my lip when we were told that Jun had tried to end the Conspiracy and that had paid for his attempt with his life.

There was a collective gasp when we learnt of how Duo had interpreted Colonel Une's orders to him.

"You truly believe that she had your best interests in mind?"

"Yes," Duo nodded, "You see, Une is clever. She knew that the others would never agree to letting me go. And that it would be too difficult to obtain someone else to do my job. I don't know exactly what steps she tried first, but they didn't work. And Jun was dead. His protection of me, from Tanner, was gone. And she couldn't protect me… She lacked the leverage.

"None of the others cared to protect me. So Tanner was free to do what he wanted to me… To get what he wanted _from_ me."

I shot out a hand to grab Heero's wrist, Trowa matching my movements on the opposite side, but was quicker off the mark. I had had my suspicions about Tanner, so Duo's phrasing was merely confirmation. I could read between his lines.

The fact that Trowa had moved earlier than I, indicated that he had prior knowledge. I noted that I would have to have words with him later about disclosure of information to all relevant parties.

If I had _known_ of what Tanner could possibly had done, I would have been able to better anticipate Heero's reaction. It was best that he didn't leap and attack Tanner.

But if Tanner had so much as laid one hand on Duo… If he had started something against Duo's wishes… Then I would be getting a work out… My katana and Tanner.

And I had no doubt that Duo had wanted no part of what Tanner had… offered. Duo would _never_ have lowered himself that low.

"Une couldn't set me free. And she couldn't protect me. So there was only one option to keep me safe… Death."

"And you accepted that?"

"Once I understood why, yes." Duo nodded, "I had thought she was the Colonel, hiding behind the Lady in everyday life. But in reality, she was the Commander. The perfect balance between the Colonel's ruthlessness, and the Lady's compassion."

I couldn't merge Duo's words with the reality I had seen with my own eyes. Duo had to have been deceived… Though Une _had_ protected Duo from Relena.

I was confused. And nothing became any clearer as Duo continued to relate his story.

Duo wasn't just relating what had happened, but his interpretation of comments and remarks by the Conspirators as well. He also gave small insights into his feelings.

Ones that we could interpret. When Duo said scared, he meant terrified. When he said worried, he meant frantic. All you really had to do was multiply his negative emotions upwards.

It painted a bleak picture even before you applied the system. To us, Duo's words were devastating.

We had been told by both Trowa and Howard that Duo had intended to die on that satellite… But it had not sunk it. We had ignored it. Only we couldn't anymore. Because Duo freely confessed it. And his logic behind the action.

The scariest thing was that I could follow his logic… At least in the abstract. Nataku! How did Duo manage to make the craziest thing sound so simple and straightforward?

I barely heard the DA ask the next few questions. The last for the Prosecution. And I couldn't tell you what the answers were. I was in too much shock. As were the others. But I heard gasps and cries from the audience, so I assume that they were about what had happened from the audience.

The Judge had to bang his gravel several times to restore order.

Trowa and I were still holding Heero's wrists, forcing them down onto his thighs. But he wasn't fighting against us. Not anymore. All the fight had gone out of him. The only reason we hadn't let go, was that we hadn't thought of it. It just hadn't come into our heads to actually let go.

"Defence, your witness." The Judge's words snapped me back to reality.

This would be the dangerous part. They would do anything possible to discredit Duo… To shift the blame… This trial was as much for Duo as it was for them.

"Mister Maxwell," The lawyer smirked, "You have told a very pretty story. Are there any alterations you would care to make?"

"I don't lie." Duo replied. His voice was just a tone away from being cold.

"So you say, but I have here a list of the drugs you were on when in your _friends_' care. From the list I would say that you are an addict and that the story you just told was payment for another hit."

"May I see the list?" Duo asked quietly.

It was handed to him. Duo quickly scanned it.

"Do you have anything to say?"

"Yes," Duo nodded, before turning to us, "What were you guys thinking? You _know_ I hate synthetic banana! But you give me banana flavoured Fortisip, anyway? And where's the chocolate flavoured version? And the mocca? Those are the only decent ones."

"I feel it is a poor situation when you can critique the flavours." Trowa pointed out, "You have drunk them far too many times, Duo."

"Well, with the amount of time I've been spending in hospitals lately that's hardly surprising, clown-boy." That was pure Duo, there was even something of Duo in his eyes… for a moment. It died again, so very quickly.

"Calcifer?" Duo looked up in surprise as he continued to read the list.

"You had low bone density and two broken wrists," Sally fired back, "It seemed sensible."

"Well that explains the metoclopramide," Duo realized, "But I tolerate domperidone better."

"That interacts with Calcifer," Sally pointed out, "I had enough worries to deal with, _without_ you deciding that you were going to kill your liver."

"Oh," Duo blinked, "Didn't know that."

"How do you know that you tolerate domperidone better?" Sally asked. I could sense the curiosity in my wife.

"Had them both." Duo replied automatically, before shrugging, "Overall, I don't see a problem with this list. I have a weird metabolism. Some drugs take high doses to work on me. Some I don't tolerate at all. You can never give me morphine. I end up hallucinating. And my memory is spotty afterwards. Fentanyl does nothing for me. So yeah, these doses of oxycodone are about right, if I was really badly hurt… How badly _was_ I hurt?"

"Quite severely, but not severely enough to warrant those dosage levels." The Lawyer stated.

"Like I said, I have a strange metabolism."

"We only have your word for that."

Duo tilted his head to stare at the ceiling for a moment, then he turned to scan the audience, anything to avoid looking at the lawyer, whom Heero was trying to glare to death.

"And you won't trust Sal's word," Duo nodded, "Because she's too close to me. What I really need here is… Ducky!"

Duo was pointing out at the audience. But I barely noticed where.

"You see, ladies and gentlemen?" the lawyer proudly addressed the Jury, "We are expected to believe the word of a drugged out murderer. Condemned by his own words, I may point out."

"Ask Ducky." Duo fired back, "You'll speak up for me, won't you?"

"There is no duck here." The lawyer smirked.

"Sure there is," Duo laughed, "You just ain't looking. Ain't that right, Ducky?"

The four of us groaned. Sally put her face in her hands. Duo had lost it. He had suffered some sort of brain damage because of the electrocution.

"Quite so, my young friend." A strong, but elderly, voice came from behind us.

We spun around. A man was standing proud in the audience. He wore a black suit, a blue shirt, with a bow-tie, in the same colours as the silent protestors outside. No accident, I was certain. His hair was a very light brown, sprinkled with grey, and a definitely receding hair-line. A pair of wire-framed glasses were perched on his nose. His skin was pale, only a shade or two darker than Duo's. And he was smiling broadly.

"It has been a long time, Duo." The man stated.

"I know, Ducky," Duo looked slightly ashamed, "I'm sorry."

"It is not just _I_ you should be apologizing to." Ducky retorted, "Jethro was quite disappointed when he found out that you didn't ask him for help. You know he would have."

"Aw hell!" Duo breathed, "You know I can't apologize to Gibbs." I stared at Duo, in shock.

Only one thought was running through my mind. He couldn't apologize to someone? That was unlike Duo, unless he didn't mean it. Even then he would give some semblance of an apology.

"He sees apologies as signs of weaknesses." Duo finished. Well it was a good explanation as to why Duo would be unable to apologize to someone.

"Not between friends." Ducky corrected.

"I doubt I count as a friend."

"He let you work on his boat. He doesn't let very many people do that. Only his friends… In fact that reminds me of one time nine years ago…"

"While I am sure your story would be fascinating," the Judge interrupted, anger tinting his voice, "May I ask who you are?"

"Doctor Donald Mallard," Ducky replied, "But my friends call me Ducky."

"And what is your relationship to Duo Maxwell?"

"I suppose you could call me his paediatrician." Ducky replied after a pause, "I was certainly the first medical practitioner to lay hands on him that he remembers… In fact it was I who tended to his wounds at the hands of the Bedlam Boys."

"Then if you would consult this list?" The Judge asked.

"Why certainly," Ducky smiled, "I would be honoured."

Ducky quickly made his way down the aisle and was handed the list of drugs.

"My congratulations, Doctor Po." Ducky declared after a moment, "This is a suitable prescription for someone of Duo's metabolism, if he had a poor health state. May I ask what his exact injuries were?"

"Severe electrocution," Sally supplied quickly, "From repeated blows with a stun baton. Two broken wrists. And he was still in recovery from five bullet holes and a bullet crease. One of the bullets clipped his aorta. He's nearly died eight times in front of me, three on the operating table, five on the Resort Satellite."

"You always were a determined little soul," Ducky turned to face Duo again, "I knew that from the moment I met you. You never seemed to know what 'surrender' meant. And you always did delight in scaring the living daylights out of me. Why I remember that one time when I came down to my autopsy room, to find you asleep on the table, three bullets in your leg."

"I didn't have anywhere else to go." Duo shrugged.

"Quite," Ducky nodded, "And that reminds me… I will expect you at my place sometime in the next month. We still have to finish our chess game."

Chess? Duo had always told me that he didn't know how to play chess… No, he had told me that he _wouldn't_ play chess with _me_.

Just who was this Ducky, anyway? Who was he to _Duo_? And why were there so many people who seemed to have connections to our Shinimagi without our knowledge?

"I can't even remember whose turn it was to move, Ducky." Duo stared, "And you can't have kept the game."

"Indeed I did," Ducky countered, "And it was your turn to move. In fact I have kept that game on the same game-board ever since I left L2."

"What?" Duo exclaimed, "I can't believe that Ducky."

"I always knew I would see you again, my friend."

"I can't come to your place." Duo looked ashamed, "You know your mother doesn't like me. She kept asking to see my knickers!"

I blinked and re-ran that phrase though my head. But it didn't change.

"I am afraid that mother was not too aware in her later years," Ducky apologized, "But she passed away not too long ago."

"Aw geeze, Ducky," Duo closed his eyes, "I'm sorry. She was a fine lady. Just not quite all there at the end. I'm so sorry."

"That's alright," Ducky smiled, "You weren't to know. But my offer still stands."

"Offer?" Duo snorted, "Instruction is more the word, Ducky."

"I have missed you, Duo," Ducky breathed, "I always knew you were too stubborn to die and too smart to stay on the streets."

"Why are you here?"

"Because you deserved to have a friend watch over proceedings." Ducky replied, "And I was one of the few, who could enter here without a second look. Those outside would be too conspicuous."

So the silent protestors were Duo's supporters. I supposed that made some sort of sense.

"Doctor Mallard," The Judge interrupted, "Please, retake your seat. Defence, please carry on. However I do believe that we have proved that Mister Maxwell is not a habitual drug user."

"Very well," The Defence nodded, "Mister Maxwell what drugs are currently in your system?"

"Apart from the ones I was given in hospital…" Duo paused for a moment, "Which I don't know what they were. I didn't ask. I'm currently dosed up on Calpol and Neurofen. Both in liquid forms. Strawberry flavour."

I restrained a snort. Neither Quatre nor Sally bothered to. Duo was deliberately trying to get under the Defence's skin. But his eyes weren't in it. And we could see that. Nataku! We could see it as clear as day.

"You are on paracetamol and ibuprofen?" The Defence stared.

"Yeah," Duo nodded, "Best I could get for the pain."

"So you say you are still in pain?"

"Yeah," Duo laughed, "Listen, I have five bullet holes in me. Which are about three quarters healed. I have enough electrical burns for the entire Sanq Kingdom's electricians. And my wrists are still recovering from being broken. I'm still in pain. And if you knew _anything_ about Calcifer, you'd know that there's bone deep pain for about two months afterwards."

I hadn't known that. So how had Duo? Had he had it before? Unlikely given what Sally had said about his bone density. So how had Duo known?

On the plus side, Duo was showing enough of his intelligence to prove that he was no ignorant street-rat to the Jury. With every word Duo spoke, he was shattering the image that the Defence wanted to show of him.

Discredit Duo, and discredit our case.

"Mister Maxwell, would you do this again?"

"Depends," Duo shrugged, "If my friends… my _brothers_ were not being threatened… Then no way. I never wanted to kill again after the War. And I still don't. If my brothers were threatened… Then yes, I would. Only I would do it _better_, I wouldn't get caught and I wouldn't kill innocents unless ordered to.

"They're my family. I won't let anyone harm them."

I could tell that Duo now had a good portion of the Jury on his side. He was speaking from the heart and his choice of words was impressive.

"You presume to call yourself their brother? These are important and influential people. What right do you have to lay claim to them?"

I bristled in anger. Duo had no need to defend his right to be our brother.

But Duo merely laughed.

"You should not ask 'how dare I presume'," Duo corrected, "But whether they object. And I lay claim to them by one of the oldest rights: 'For he who sheds blood with me today is my brother'. We have shed blood. We have broken bread. We have shared salt. They are my brothers. By _choice_. Both mine and theirs."

It was a clear and inarguable defence on Duo's part. I could see a few members of the Jury nodding to Duo's words.

I did not know how he had done it, though I had seen it occur before my very eyes. Duo was turning the tide. He was King Canute standing on the shore, and not only was the sea no longer rising, but it was turning back.

"Then what did they do to earn the depths of loyalty, you claim to have for them?"

Now that was a question I wanted the answer to as well. We had all wondered it. But never found an answer in all our memories.

Duo smiled before he spoke, and for a moment, his eyes smiled as well.

"Quatre is the easiest to explain," He began, "Sister Helen loved a hymn. And it is that hymn that defines what Quatre did. It is called 'When I needed a neighbour'. When I needed a shelter, Quatre provided it. When I was hungry, he gave me food. Thirsty, drink. Cold, clothes. Injured, healing. And he gave all of that without being asked or asking for anything in return. And yet never made it feel like charity.

"He never made me feel inferior. But rather as if I were an equal. And led others to treat me the same.

"He also taught me how to take care of myself… Both in the desert and in the equally hard surroundings of high society. Quatre wanted to show me his entire world. In all it's glory.

"He wanted to give it to me. So that we were equals.

"I knew that I cared for him like a little brother quite early on… But I knew he cared for _me_ when he smiled and laughed when I surprised him with a visit. And none of that was faked.

"Quatre would give me the shirt off his back, if he thought I needed… I _know_ that. And right now, he is blaming himself for everything that happened to me. When _nothing_ is his fault."

I glanced towards Quatre. He appeared to be in shock. Duo had laid it out simply. In Duo's eyes Quatre had done a great deal for him… Purely out of kindness.

"You can never consider Quatre without Trowa." Duo carried on, seemingly heedless of the amazement that Quatre so plainly displayed on his face.

"Trowa. Tall, dark and silent. First time I saw him was briefly, in a battle. We went our separate ways, not even exchanging names. In fact, it was Quatre who told me Trowa's name.

"The war carried on… Eventually I got caught by OZ, while he was undercover as an OZ soldier. I was in a dark place mentally… Though no-one seemed to notice. My capture hadn't been easy, and I had many injuries…

"Now I don't know how Trowa got permission, but he did. He got permission to check me over… To bandage the worst of my injuries, and give me a very mild painkiller, until the worst of the healing was over.

"He didn't have to do that. It put his identity at risk… It put _him_ at risk. Yet he did.

"Later on, he managed to pass me information that gave me hope. Helped me keep it together in my confinement.

"And yes, to maintain his cover I had to annoy him, and he had to lash out… But while Trowa can wear a mask of stone… His eyes… Or at least the one you can see… They show the truth. His eyes always asked forgiveness for the blows. They also asked permission.

"I don't know why no one else saw it. Could be that I'm just one of the few who can read eyes. But Trowa never wanted to harm me.

"Even during the Mariamaia incident… When he had a clear shot at me, while under cover… A clear shot to kill me… He missed. And Trowa doesn't miss. He meant to leave me alive, and relatively unharmed.

"And he did everything he could to obtain that."

I glanced at Trowa. His face had shut down, desperate not to reveal his feelings. But I could see it in his eye.

It was just as Duo had said. Trowa's eyes are very expressive, when you can see them… At least to his friends… His brothers.

And right then, he was in awe of what Duo had said. He was able to comprehend Duo's explanation, but couldn't quite understand how Duo had gotten to that point. He couldn't see how what he had done had translated to such loyalty.

"Then there is Wufei." Duo's words jerked my attention back to him.

I did not know what he would say. But I was both fearful and desperate to know. What had _I _done? What slant had he put on my actions?

"Compared to Wufei," Duo carried on, oblivious to my inner turmoil, "I am a fool, a clown, an idiot. He called me all these things… and worse.

"The first time we met, he pointed out my stupidity and mistakes. And that set the tone for all our future meetings."

I bowed my head in shame. Duo wasn't pulling his punches, and he was only telling the truth after all. It still hurt though. Nataku! I had done him such Injustices. In my ignorance. And later I had only compounded them.

"But I learnt to hear what he was actually saying," Duo continued, "When he said 'clown'… He meant 'thank you for trying to make me smile'. When he said idiot; he meant 'I'm not an idiot and neither are you, stop acting like one'. When he said 'fool'; he meant 'don't pretend to be the fool and get yourself hurt'."

I had jerked my head up to stare at Duo. Though he hadn't met my wide-eyed gaze.

"Wufei and I were brought up on opposite ends of the spectrum. He was taught to be quiet, respectful, honourable and to never show his emotions.

"I grew up loud, cheeky and only ever taught to hide my tears. I learnt that if I was cheerful, people wouldn't' know that they had hurt me.

"Wufei didn't know how to express what he felt. So all he could do was insult what he didn't understand… But what he really meant was 'I care about you', 'I would miss you if you died', 'Don't get yourself killed'."

I remember wondering just how Duo had read me so well all those years ago, and yet I had completely failed to understand _him_. And I was supposed to be the better educated out of the two of us.

"Sometimes I wondered if I was just misreading Wufei. Whether I was imposing what I wanted to hear onto him.

"That all changed when I was a prisoner on the Luna Base… And yes, I did get caught a fair bit during the War.

"Wufei was sharing a cell with me. There was space, but it was a little… cosy… You couldn't have put two adults in there, that's for sure. But we fit quite nicely.

"All was fine as it could be… Until someone turned the air off. I don't know why. Maybe I upset the wrong guy. But either way, we were dying.

"Now, I've always been afraid of dying in silence. And also of dying due to running out of air. Just old nightmares really. So I couldn't shut up. I kept on talking, and talking, and talking. And all the time I was talking, I was wasting oxygen.

"I was not only killing myself. But I was killing Wufei too. Every word that crossed my lips brought his death that much closer. And he was trying to hang on. Hoping that the air would be switched back on, before he died.

"Now, I know it sounds callous and ruthless, but he should have killed me."

My mouth gapped at that statement. I wondered where Duo had gotten that idea. I could sense the others looking just as shocked beside me.

"It's happened before. To save someone from a slow and lingering death, even medics, have hastened the process. In that case, it would have helped Wufei as well. Giving him more oxygen and a greater chance of survival… And you can't say he couldn't have done it. Wufei knows more about pressure points than I know hidey-holes in the Ninth Circle of Hell.

"I would have been dead, without pain, before I knew what was happening. And I probably would have thanked him for it.

"Only he didn't. Instead, Wufei started to meditate or something. Lowered his oxygen intake… His usage. Thus compensating for my stupidity and fear.

"As you can tell, we both survived long enough for the air to be turned back on. But it was Wufei's decision to die with me, rather than survive without that saved me… That was when I _knew_ that he cared more than his words let on.

"He choose to die with me. And I will never be able to show how much that meant to me."

But he had. He had repaid any debt he had owed me a thousand times over. And I had negated any debt he owed me at least a hundred times over, myself. Yet, still he thought that he was in _my_ debt?

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Heero," Duo didn't really pause before he ploughed on, "Completely different case, really. As I said when I first really got to talk to him, he's antisocial, thinks he's Evil Knievel and hardly speaks. At least that was back then. But even before I admitted that, I knew he was something else.

"He was the first person my age, I had ever called a friend. I didn't ask for his trust. Not that he would have given it to me… I had recently shot him twice, after all. I just told him that right then, I was the only friend he had…

"I think I was the first person to ever call him friend."

I could see Heero out of the corner of my eye. He wasn't showing any emotion… And that is a major sign of danger. Just as Trowa puts on his mask of stone when he's overwhelmed… Heero wears a mask of indifference.

"He stole from me, so that he could complete a mission. He ignored me. He rarely ever talked to me… Yet I kept on seeking him out. I can't tell you why. I just felt a connection. A kinship. I don't really know… I just knew he needed me. And I needed him.

"When I thought he had died… It was one of the worst days of my life. But I kept it together. And only cried when I was safe and no-one would know."

Judging by Quatre's reaction, Duo hadn't kept his tears a secret from our blond brother.

"Then he was alive again, and it was one of the best days of my life.

"I don't exactly remember why we became friends. It could be because I sought him out. I wanted to crack that mask of his. I wanted to see emotion on his face. Even if it was anger. Even if it was annoyance. Even if it was hate.

"But it was two-way. He kept on turning up where _I_ was. At first I thought it was coincidence. Chance. But there's only so many times, before it becomes deliberate.

"It wasn't just me yammering at him, either. Sometimes we'd just sit in silence. I always felt better after those times. Like I'd had the best conversation in the Sphere.

"I think he was trying to figure me out. Like Wufei, I was everything he wasn't. And he couldn't understand me. Heero couldn't understand why I would do things for him and expect nothing in return. His whole life he'd neither had a friend nor anyone who could explain to him about simple acts of kindness.

"I don't exactly know when he started to think of me as his friend. But when he came to rescue me from OZ… Well, I was pretty sure he was going to kill me. I was a liability to the mission… That's when I knew I had gotten past that mask of his. I had befriended him, somehow.

"He came in, with the intention to kill me. He had no plan to get me out… Yet he did anyway. He saved me.

"And more than that, he had enrolled in a school under my name."

I stared at Heero. I had never known that. Duo had obviously made a bigger impression earlier than I had thought.

"But those are just the big things they did." Duo carried on, "The major things. That's not what friendship it. Friendship is the thousand of thousand little things they did. Without thinking. Without noticing what they meant to me.

"And I loved them. We were five boys involved in a War far bigger than us. Is it any wonder that we formed bonds? Bonds that lasted even after the War.

"When Miss Relena and Commander Une approached me, I knew I had to protect them. They didn't deserve to have their lives ruined… By mistakes they had made. They were Knights in the Glorious Kingdom… Knights of the Round Table… What did it matter if the Jester went away?"

I could feel Heero's muscles tense under my hand. And knew that he wasn't the only one feeling angry and upset. Duo was still putting himself down. He was the greatest of us… Not the least. He was our equal, at the very least.

"And yes," Duo shrugged, "I'd had a few issues with them just before. Sure I was furious at Heero. Mad at Trowa. And really wanted to have a talk with Wufei… But that didn't matter.

"The only reason, I hadn't talked it out with them… Was that it was their turn. I always believed that if you make a mistake… Upset a friend, it's up to you to make the first steps towards trying to explain.

"I didn't really care what their reason was… I just wanted to hear it… Guess I never will… Because I doubt that they remember what they did. I may have yelled at Heero about it… But the others? I don't see the point in raking over bad memories."

We would be having that conversation, I swore to myself. I had a lot of explaining to do. I had thought that Duo had just forgiven me… I should have known that he was waiting for me to broach the subject.

Thinking back, I could think of at least a dozen times where I probably should have explained my actions to Duo, if not apologized. But I never had. Because he had never discussed them… I had believed he had forgiven me.

"But it didn't matter that day. And it still doesn't. Even when I was angry at them, I still loved them. And whether they loved me didn't matter, either. Because love isn't necessarily a two-way street. You can love and not be loved. It doesn't change the love. Love is sometimes a giving thing. The more you give, the less you get.

"Maybe they don't care for me, as much as I care for them. That's fine. They wouldn't be the first. And it doesn't matter… I would die for them. And I would kill for them. They're family."

Nataku! I would need to have a very long, very painful talk with Duo. He had some _serious_ misconceptions that I needed to correct. And judging by the others' faces… I wasn't the only one.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Lilly – Please… Get the Conspirators to pull their pants up. I've got my eyes closed here… Glad you liked the chapter.

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Dragon'sRubyEyes – Emotional wounds always did heal slow. Thanks for the review.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	40. Chapter 40

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Quatre's POV

Oh, Duo. He really did not understand. Allah! He had said it himself… The others didn't know _how_ to express what they had felt. Just because they didn't say it… Didn't mean they didn't feel it.

And they hadn't discussed their issues… Because like me, they had believed that Duo would bring up anything he needed to talk about. How many more layers were part of the onion that was Duo?

I almost laughed at the thought. Duo had introduced me to the comparision. I don't know where he had picked it up, but he always referred to people as being onions, lots of layers.

I could feel that the others were angry, but not just at the Conspirators. They were mad at themselves… For not seeing the signs that Duo had needed us to broach the subjects.

And I was still slightly in shock at the fact that Duo had laid out so simply what I had done to earn his incredible loyalty… It didn't seem like I had done enough.

"It doesn't matter to you?" The Defence lawyer stared.

"I don't really care." Duo shrugged, "Look, I don't love them, because they love me. I love them, because I love them… I can't explain it.

"And I owe them an apology… Because for seven years, I have believed things that were not true. Things I was told repeatedly. And yet, I shouldn't have believed them.

"I believed that they weren't looking for me. That the only one who still occasionally looked for me was Quatre. And that he was only doing it, because he felt guilty.

"And I believed it. I shouldn't of. But I did."

My nails bit into the palm of my hand. They had _lied_ to Duo. And obviously that particular lie had been central to their brainwashing of him. If we… Duo's _family_… could abandon him… Then he would believe that no-one would take him in, or care for him.

A rather effective, if brutal method, I thought.

"But the Commander told me it was a lie." Duo carried on, "And I believe her… Though I wasn't certain then. I believe her now."

Though why he did, I didn't know. He'd barely looked at us since he walked in the Court Room. And he was still adverting his eyes from us.

"Moving on." The Lawyer knew he was in a loosing area; with every word Duo spoke, he was improving his standing with the Jury.

"According to Miss Relena, you confessed to sleeping with Mister Yuy. How many other people have you slept with?" The lawyer tried a new angle.

Heero outwardly bristled with rage, or at least as outwardly as he usually does. Only I could feel the confusion coming from him. I had very little doubt that Duo had _never _slept with Heero.

"It depends what you mean by 'slept with'," Duo shrugged, "If you mean had sex with… fornicated with… made like bunnies with… Then no-one. Ever. I have not had sex with a single person. Not even Heero…"

"But…" The lawyer stared.

"If you mean, who have I shared a bed with," Duo carried on, as if the interruption had never happened, "As in fully clothed, nothing going on… Then quite a few. All the Street-Rats, or as Solo called us: 'The Baker Street Irregulars'. Some of the Orphanage kids… Even slept in Sister Helen's bed once or twice, when I had had a bad day. I've shared tents that are smaller than single beds with my brothers. And shared bunks with Sweepers.

"I have never had sex in my life. And I don't see why I would have. I whored my soul… I sold my standards… I _never_ sold my body… And I never let anyone _take_ it either."

I heard the others breath easier at that statements, and so did I.

"And why would I want to?" Duo carried on. His confusion was confusing.

"I've seen it on the streets. Heard it in the motels… The screaming… The begging… The pleading. I've seen the tears. I've seen the blood. I've seen the wounds."

I reached out to feel his emotions. Steeling myself as I slipped past the twisted part of his emotions, to what he was feeling right then.

Remorse. Grief. A touch of anger. But overwhelming belief in what he was saying. And disgust at those who would use and leave those people bleeding. I remember wondering if that was the only experience he had ever had of it. Watching others in pain and agony, and watching them afterwards.

"I've bandaged them…" Duo continued, I could just see the glimmer of a tear in his eyes, "But they never recover. Some never survive the night… Why would I want that? I don't understand why it's called the greatest expression of love. It hurts."

I heard the others gasp slightly. Duo didn't understand. He only knew what he had seen and heard. And no one had told him differently. It sounded funny really… That the one we had considered the most outgoing of us was the most naïve, the least sheltered and the most broken of us.

It certainly explained why he had always watched Trowa and I the next morning, every single time. I had usually been too wrapped up in joy to wonder why. I should of… I should of _asked_. I should have _realized_. It was all my fault.

We would have to explain to Duo. Allah! That was going to be embarrassing. And he would need to heal a great many mental scars before he would come to understand.

"I think the bravest people in the Sphere are those who endure it without complaint. I don't understand why.

"Solo told us never to sell ourselves like that. And yes, he's been dead for over half my life, if not more… But he still has an influence on the person I am today. And I think he always will.

"It was Solo who taught me to read. He was good at reading. If we found books on the streets we'd take them to Solo… And he'd read to us. It didn't matter if it was fiction or not, it was an escape to somewhere other than the streets."

I got the feeling that Duo hadn't intended to go out on this tangent… But once he'd started, he couldn't stop. I suddenly realized that before us there had been the Sweepers and Truckers… Before them, the Orphanage… And before that had been the Street-Rats and Solo.

Solo had meant as much to Duo as we do. And I wanted to know more about this long-dead little boy.

"Those of us who were quick, he taught to read. Said it might get us off the streets one day… Solo never left the streets. He died on them. Dead of the Plague. Something we didn't understand, and couldn't explain.

"I swore I would never let anyone else die because of my inactions again. I have failed many times since then.

"I know that what I did was illegal… immoral… and just plain wrong. But I had no choice… No… I _believed_ I had no choice… Nowhere to turn. I will willingly surrender to whatever punishment… Whatever Justice is decided for me. I will not run… I will not hide… I will not tell a lie… This is my final stand."

And he meant it. We could all tell. Duo had had enough of running. He was tired of hiding. He would not be beaten down again. I didn't know where he had pulled it from, but Duo had found another level of strength.

"And you claim that these people left you no choice?" The lawyer almost laughed, "They are highly respected members of the community."

"And you think that makes them paragons of virtue?" Duo laughed, "Tanner likes to rape little boys with long hair. I have personally disposed of evidence collected by the Police that implicated him. And I have scared people into changing their testimonies… At his instructions.

"Nielsen takes bribes, so that he will allocate resources to where asked. _Bribes_ that those in the most need cannot afford. And I have been sent as part of a Protection Racquet to keep people quiet or extort more money. Depending on how his coffers were at the time.

"Toshino raised money for his campaign, by having me kidnap members of the Oppositions' family. They were also instructed to either stand down, or take less popular stances, so that Toshino was the obvious candidate for L1's Ambassador to the UESN.

"Mann steals from the Treasury. I have eliminated evidence of the transactions for her… I have kept mouths quiet, whether by blackmail or death… She didn't care… Though she preferred death, as it meant she wouldn't have to worry about them in the future.

"Isa can get anyone off the hook, for a price. I have collected the money for him. I have disposed of evidence of his deeds… And I have ensured that key pieces of evidence have their validity called into question or disposed of altogether.

"Stone used me as a spy. Finding out information about new polices that others wanted to enact… At least at first. Later on she became more ambitious. I was used to discredit anyone who didn't follow what she saw as the 'Party Line'. Whether by locating damaging information or fabricating it. Sometimes I kidnapped for her… But not often. She preferred seeing her victims brought low.

"Miss Relena had me kill two good men and pretend to try to assassinate her… So that she could become Foreign Minister, by a landslide.

"So no… I don't believe they are the angels you make them out to be. I have seen the depths they will sink to, to get what they want… As long as they don't have to get their hands dirty.

"That was what _I_ was for."

Duo had his eyes fixed on the Jury. He was catching each of their eyes in turn. And somehow he was answering the questions that their eyes asked with his own eyes and small movements of his head.

I don't know what they were asking him. And I don't know what he was answering, but it was obviously important to him.

What puzzled me most of all was how the Jury were understanding Duo. We, who had known him for years, still found him hard to read at times… Still found it hard to see beyond the mask… Yet he was opening up to twelve strangers.

I had learnt more about Duo's past in the past few hours, than I had learnt over many years.

The audience, however, were shouting at Duo, trying to deny the accusations. Though their actions were more automatic than thought through. Duo had gotten to them as well.

"Then why did you rebel?" The lawyer queried, truly curious I thought.

"It was a problem between the immovable object and the irresistible force." Duo shrugged.

"I do not understand."

"It's quite simple," Duo stated, "Everyone in the whole Sphere has a Price. The one thing they will do _anything_ to keep or obtain. It can be purely monetary, or it can be intangible. Mine is the safety and security of my family. My family being whosoever I have claimed as such.

"In direct contrast, everyone has a Rule. A personal and conditional clause. Something added to the rules. Something like: 'Unless I really need to' or 'Unless no one is looking'. Mine is: 'Unless they harm my family'.

"The joke is that my Price and my Rule are practically the same.

"Up until when I rebelled, as you put it, I had been protecting my family. But they broke the Rule. They drugged my family. They put them in a room with a _bomb_! They put their lives at risk. I couldn't let that happen a second time. So I had to make sure my family wouldn't be put in danger again.

"Do you have any more questions?" Duo asked. I recognised the tactic. He was changing the topic. This business with Rules and Prices was obviously more important and personal to him, than it at first appeared… So why had he told me in the first place, all those years ago?

"No." The lawyer shook his head. I knew that out of the two of them, it was Duo had won the verbal battle.

The only problem that I could see, was Duo's mindset. He had just opened up. As if he didn't have any more reason to hide anymore. Why would he do that?

"You may leave the stand, Mister Maxwell," The Judge stated, "And for future reference, please remember that checking out of a hospital requires that you inform the staff."

"Thank you, your Honour," Duo smiled, "For that piece of information. I will endeavour to remember it, for the next time I find myself encountering those Saints in this world."

Duo stood up, slowly picked up his hat and walked towards us. No one moved to stop him. But as he passed the bar, we moved.

Sally, Wufei, Trowa and Heero slipped out of the seats they had been occupying. I just motioned to Duo to come and sit beside me, as if we were children in a school classroom.

I saw the grateful look in his eyes, that he dared not express on his face, as he moved to join me.

Trowa was next to follow. Then Sally and Wufei. Finally Heero took the seat on the end of the row.

To any casual observer, what we had just done was a simple manoeuvre, but what we had actually done was far more complicated. Heero and Wufei could defend us against any attack that was launched at Duo. Sally was perfectly positioned for back-up. While Trowa and I could block any attacks that got past the others, but still provide long range defence.

No one had noticed the deliberate rearrangement. Even Duo seemed oblivious. He just sat next to me, almost unnaturally quiet and still. The case continued, though really it seemed to me as if no more evidence was needed after Duo's damming testimony.

"Duo," I whispered, "Do you need a pain-killer?"

"I can't." Duo murmured back, "I can't let them see…"

"You're just out the hospital," Trowa countered, "No one will judge you. Here."

I smiled as I saw that Trowa had pushed a pair of Paracetamol tablets into Duo's hands. Duo just dry swallowed them, as Trowa mouthed 'Sally' at me.

We sat in silence just listening to what the two lawyers were doing, but I don't remember anything that was said. I just squeezed Duo's hand tightly… I'm not sure whether I was trying to comfort him or myself.

I almost jumped out of my skin, when I felt Duo just slump next to me. His head ending up on my shoulder.

Almost in a panic, I released my grip on Duo's hand, absently noticing that I had been holding it so tightly that I had whitened his skin. Twisting his wrist, I felt for a pulse beneath the bandages.

It was there and it was steady. A little weaker than I would have liked, and a little faster. But it was a pulse. So I wasn't going to complain.

I couldn't really see his face, what with his hair in the way. And I didn't dare move, in case I jostled him.

Trowa leaned forward and looked at Duo. Then he mouthed at me: 'Asleep'.

I breathed a little easier. Duo was tired, that was all. It made sense. He had been awake for only a little over four days. He would still be quite weak. In some ways it showed how much he trusted us. That he allowed us to watch his back in a hostile environment, surrounded by his enemies.

I don't really recall what went on for a while. Things just became a blur in my memory. But I do recall that the Judge declared that the next day would start with both sides' Closing Statements, before the Jury went into seclusion to make their decision.

The Court Room emptied rather quickly at first. Until there was only us, the Prosecution lawyer, the guards, Dani Messer, Doctor Mallard and the man in the cowboy hat.

And Duo was still asleep on my shoulder. Trowa carefully picked him up, cradling him like a little child. I picked up Duo's hat.

It seemed strange seeing Duo dressed nearly all in white. His skin wasn't much darker than the fabric. In his usual black he would have looked washed out.

Sally quickly checked his pulse and temperature, before pronouncing that as far as she could tell, Duo was just tired.

"Well of course the poor boy is tired!" Doctor Mallard exclaimed, "My dear Doctor Po, the poor boy has only been awake these past five days. And has spent a great deal of that time resting. The boy isn't an energizer bunny, for all that he may act like one. Why I remember one time when the boy just completely collapsed having completely run out of energy. It was on L2…"

"Ducky," The man in the red-shirt interrupted, "Not now. The Kid wouldn't want you spilling all his secrets. He spilt enough of them today himself."

"Ah, true." Doctor Mallard nodded, "May I assume that you gave young Duo something for the pain?"

"Paracetamol." Sally shrugged, "You deal in paediatrics?"

"Good heavens, no!" Doctor Mallard smiled, "I'm a Medical Examiner, these days. Though back when Duo and I first met, I was working at a Charity Clinic in the 'Ninth Circle of Hell' as the colony is colloquially known…"

"Here," The other man handed me a bag, "Change of clothes for the Kid, White Chocolate."

"White chocolate?" I stared at him.

"Yeah," He nodded, "White Chocolate. Milk Chocolate. Caramel. And Dark Chocolate."

It didn't take much to realize what he was saying. He either didn't know who we were, or didn't care. And I was leaning towards the latter rather than the former.

"Quatre," I gave my name anyway, "This is Trowa, Heero, Wufei and Sally. And you are?"

"The Bandit." He smirked.

"Nice to meet you," I nodded, "We'd better take Duo home. It would be better for him to sleep in a bed."

We tried to move towards the exit, but Doctor Mallard, the Bandit and Dani Messer blocked us.

"Good heavens!" Doctor Mallard quickly protested, "You can't take the poor boy out like that! He would be absolutely mortified!"

"Saint Ducky is right," the Bandit agreed, "You take him out there, right now… I don't know if he'll ever forgive you."

"He can't stay here." Wufei pointed out.

"And if you take him out like that," the Bandit fired back, "You'll be killing a Legend."

"We would never let anyone hurt him." Heero growled.

"I know," Doctor Mallard shrugged, "Preventer Yuy, we are not questioning your ability to protect young Duo _physically_. But if you take him out there… If you let him be seen asleep, weak… _vulnerable_. Then his Legend will be destroyed. Up until now, he has been a Legend. A God almost. At the very least the equivalent of one of the Greek Heroes of old.

"That Legend is only as strong as his appearance. Duo took great care to never to be seen as injured or weak; except among those he trusted. If they see him now, while he will not lose his current support, his reputation will take a severe hit. It will take him many years to recover the ground he will loose, if he recovers it at all."

"You don't pull the mask of the Lone Ranger." The Bandit stated cryptically.

"I have to agree," Dani added, "He's an L2 kid, like me. We rarely let anyone we don't trust explicitly see our tears. A lot of our perceived strength is just that… perception. It took me three years to be able to sleep in a room with any of my co-workers, people whom I see as family. And it took another year before I could sleep with them watching my back with others in the room.

"He trusts you to watch his back in a hostile room. But you take him out front in your arms… You'll damage or destroy his reputation. And that's pretty much all he's got left, apart from his family and friends.

"L2 kids are tough. Street-rats that survive are the toughest of us all. He survived. And he _thrived_. You gotta leave the Demon his Pride. He _needs_ his Pride. If he didn't care about appearances, he would have rolled into here in a wheelchair, or been carried in by Bandit, or staggered in with mine and Bandit's help. But he didn't. He had to walk in, on his own. I knew that. So I didn't offer.

"You got to let the Demon have his Pride. You can't break it."

"He's _not_ a demon!" Heero snapped.

"He'll always be the Demon to me." Dani shrugged, "Because that's what I knew him as. I can't change that. And I mean it as a sign of respect. It's not derogatory… I won't insult him again. But he is the Demon. And I won't let you tug on Superman's cape."

"You have good taste, Smokey." The Bandit looked at Dani with appreciation in his eyes.

"It was one of my dad's favourite songs." Dani snorted.

"Well then," Sally cut across them, "How _do_ you suggest we get out of here?"

"I took the liberty earlier," Doctor Mallard smiled, "Of contacting an old friend of mine, Abigail. She e-mailed me the blueprints of the Court House, indicating an alternative exit for me. She also arranged for my assistant, Mister Palmer, to have a vehicle waiting round back. You are allowed to drive it, wherever you will… But I would suggest that going to either one of Mister Winner's properties or a Preventer Safe House to be poor ideas, due to that being predictable."

"What would you suggest?" I asked. Part of me wanted to trust him, he was an old friend of Duo's after all. But another part of me was still paranoid from the War and recent events hadn't helped. I knew very little about this man.

"Abigail and Timothy managed to obtain a suite at the Hilton, for quite a reasonable price. It is currently registered in my name. I would be honoured if you would take the registration, while I return to my hotel room at a different hotel. Would that be acceptable?"

A hotel suite… It would be defensible. And as it was under a different name, it would be hard to find. Duo should be safe. Doctor Mallard was even willing to leave us alone.

I looked at Doctor Mallard, trying to determine how trustworthy he was, even reaching out slightly. But all I could read was compassion and honesty.

He really did just want to help Duo.

"Doctor Mallard…" Wufei began.

"Ducky, please." Doctor Mallard insisted.

"Doctor Mallard," Wufei ignored the comment, "How do we know we can trust you?"

"You don't, Preventer Chang." Doctor Mallard shrugged, "But I can tell you this, leaving Duo behind on L2 is one of my biggest regrets."

"Then why did you?" Wufei demanded.

"He told me to." Doctor Mallard replied, "He told me he that I would be in danger if I was seen with him. I should have just drugged him and taken him anyway."

"He never would have forgiven you." Dani pointed out.

"It would have been worth it." Doctor Mallard stated, "He would have been safe. And he would have forgiven me… Eventually. He never could hate for long if you hurt him. Harm his friends, yes. Him? No. And that is why I cannot lie to you boys. He would never forgive me."

"What is he to you?" Trowa frowned.

"A nephew," Doctor Mallard was quick to answer, "Or maybe a grandson. Or a son. I'm never quite sure. But he is precious to me. And I have always known that he is too much of a free spirit for me to confine him. I let him fly and soar, where my old wings will not take me."

"That's… Rather poetic." I stared.

"Thank you." Doctor Mallard smiled, "I do but try. Now, Messer, Bandit… I think it is best if you go. We will see you tomorrow."

"Alright," Dani grinned, "See ya tomorrow."

"See ya, Ducky." The Bandit nodded, "Hey, Chocolates? Play this for the Kid tomorrow."

He threw a small device at us, gently. Heero moved to catch it, before it could possibly harm any of us. But it was only a small music player.

"It'll put him in the right frame of mind." The Bandit stated, "It'll make him strong."

"He's always strong." Heero retorted.

"Right now?" The Bandit looked at us as if we were crazy, "He's tired. He's injured. And he's exhausted. He's hurting inside. And I don't know why. But I do know that it's taking every ounce of his strength to not show it. The music will help. Remind him of who he is… What he's fighting for… And that he's not alone.

"And make sure he arrives in style tomorrow. He'll need it."

And then the Bandit left. Dani was already gone. So that only left Doctor Mallard.

"I'll organise my limousine." I decided.

"Good heavens!" Doctor Mallard stared at me, "You would positively _ruin_ his image. At the very least he would be called a Limo Liberal for a long time. I will call Abigail. She'll bring her car. It will be _far_ more appropriate."

"I take it that you're a Trucker?" Sally ventured.

"Of course," Doctor Mallard nodded, "My dear Doctor Po, most of young Duo's friends are Truckers. And we will stand by him. It is only those Truckers who have not met him, who would be swayed by the destruction of his Legend. However… I cannot take that chance. He has so little left… Yet he is richer than a King."

Doctor Mallard had been leading us through corridors and down what appeared to be little used passage-ways.

"I thought we were heading for the rear exit." Wufei's hand moved slightly towards his gun, as the lighting got dimmer.

"The Press are watching that exit." Doctor Mallard waved a hand gently, "No, we are heading for a forgotten little side exit… You know this reminds me of the time I had to evade the French Police. Jethro and I spent nearly a week running and hiding, until we stole a boat and navigated the English Channel… A little sail-boat, called the 'Gypsy' as I recall…"

I remember wondering why he would be trying to evade the French police.

"I remember you," Sally stared, "We were never introduced, but I saw you at that Medical Examiner's conference two years ago. Everyone seemed to know you."

"I have worked in many places over my many years." Doctor Mallard shrugged, "I rather enjoy keeping in touch with old friends… In fact that's how I was aware of young Duo's continued existence these past seven years. No one informed me of his appearance on their table, a fact I gave thanks for on a regular basis."

We emerged out of a dusty and cobwebbed side-door to see a Coroner's van waiting for us. In the driver's seat was a lanky, bespectacled man.

"Was there any trouble borrowing the van, Mister Palmer?" Doctor Mallard called out.

"None at all, Doctor." Palmer replied, "Though Doctor Sheridan would like you to call him. He wants to discuss how your psychology course went."

"Remind me later, Mister Palmer." Doctor Mallard instructed, "Jump in the back. No one will look twice at us."

We got in the van, while Doctor Mallard took the passenger seat.

"I trust you remembered to program the Sat Nav, Mister Palmer? Neither of us wants the fiasco that happened that time you gave me the map."

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Milliefluff – Hold on. I'm not showing all my cards yet.

Dragon'sRubyEyes – I might do that story as a one-shot for you. But not for a while. You've let the plot bunnies out, and I'm trying to hide from them.

Arialee – You're welcome. Glad you liked it.

Shinimegami21 – Before the very end? I've still got a bit of a way to go, yet. Though I'm pleased that you're enjoying it.

Leora chan – Thanks for the cookies. I really needed them. I had an encounter with a kamikaze Bambi. My car might be dead.

Lilly – I may have a life, but I still enjoy writing. So I hope to keep on posting.

StarLight Pixie – The Defence for your reading pleasure. Hope you enjoyed it.

Juniperjupiter – I had to. I needed another doctor. Ducky was perfect. Nice to see that you liked it.

Chibi heishi – Welcome to the story. It is a pleasure to have you reading and reviewing. I am a great fan of your own works. It is an honour to have such positive opinions from you.

Illusion-Factory – Thank you. Glad to know that you enjoyed it.

Hellfire – I was wondering when someone would pick up on that. Yes, Calcifer is from Howl's Moving Castle. I love the book. And thanks for the pineapple cake.

Whitetiger1589 – I'm not sure. Kate and Ziva are so totally different. And yes… Duo is in for some long conversations… Where for once he's not doing most of the talking.

Anonymous Void – Thanks for the hints and tips. Though I might not use them in this story… Anything extra to add to my knowledge base is gratefully accepted.

Raven – Keep on reading. I may get there.

It's Raining Snow – I hope this was soon enough for you.

Kage Elric – You never know what might happen. Hope you enjoyed this.

Kay – I kinda stole Ducky. If you want to watch the true Master go look up NCIS. You'll see him quick enough. But nice to know that you liked it.

Katerina Shinigami – Yes, well the Judge is having to deal with a difficult and stressful case. I think anything that is a stress relief is gladly welcomed at this point.

Peaceful Angel – Yes, Wufei is having an attack of the conscious right now. Thank you for your high praise.

Wind Dancer1981 – I hope I continue to please.

Loki's Katsmeow – I don't know who is going to turn up. But we'll find out together.

Onimaster818 – Thank you. Nice to know you like it.

Twillightfairy – I like to borrow characters. If I make them up they have high chances of becoming Mary Sues. I'm trying to break the habit. But until I succeed… I'll borrow. Glad you enjoyed it.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – I hope you enjoyed this.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	41. Chapter 41

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Trowa's POV

The easy conversation up front distracted me slightly from Duo's predicament.

My heart had nearly stopped when he had walked in. When he had been taken away from me in the hospital room, I had been willing to believe that we would never see him again. I had known… Just _known_ that the Conspirators were behind the action. And while it had eased the pain, knowing that Duo was not in their hands… He was still out of ours.

It seems strange, but I was the first to find him. The first to know that Duo was not evading us by choice. And somehow it had become my responsibility, in my mind, to ensure his safety, until he was free and clear.

Somehow events kept on getting in the way. And I couldn't complete my job… my _mission_.

It was frustrating.

And now I held Duo, as if he were a little child. I was not going to put him down on the trolley in the back of the coroner's van. That would be… too close to reality for any of us to deal with.

So I held him close to me. Wishing that I dared lay my head on his chest to listen to his heart-beat. All I could really do, was make sure he could hear mine, and keep one finger, as discretely as possible, on his pulse.

"Why were the French police after you?" Quatre finally gave in to his curiosity. Sometimes he is so much like the cat that Duo likes to call him. Part of the reason I love him, really.

"I pushed a French police officer." Ducky shrugged, "He had moved a body without the Coroner's permission."

"Off a cliff." Palmer added.

"There was a lake below!" Ducky defended himself.

"Sixty feet below." Palmer reminded.

I stifled a smile. The pair were so entertaining. But I had to remind myself of Duo, still fast asleep in my arms.

The trip to the hotel didn't take too long. And it took even less time to get to the suite.

There were three bedrooms, but none of us thought about using them. Heero and Wufei just pulled all the mattresses off the beds and arranged them on the floor in the main room. After Quatre and Sally had pushed all the other furniture to the edges of the room.

None of us were leaving Duo unattended that night.

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I remember during the War, Duo and I were usually the first two up. Myself due to years of training and being expected to cook breakfast for the other mercenaries… Duo… I don't know _exactly _why… But I am fairly certain it had something to do with his past… With the streets.

But that morning, even Quatre and Sally were awake before Duo so much as twitched.

We sat around drinking coffee and eating breakfast. We didn't talk much. There wasn't much to be said.

Eventually we had to admit defeat, Duo needed to be woken up, if we were to attend court on time.

He didn't stir, at first. He barely even changed his breathing as we gently shook him. But he almost leapt to his feet the moment he became aware of us. His arms and legs slipping automatically into a defensive position.

I was surprised he could bear his own weight. His muscles should have atrophied slightly. But he could still stand. Even if the sudden movement had caused slight postural hypotension, judging by his slight swaying.

"Easy," Quatre called out softly, "It's just us, Duo. You're safe."

"Sit down," Sally instructed, "Have some breakfast."

Duo managed to sink down onto the sofa. He looked a little ridiculous, still in the shirt and trousers of his outfit, though we had removed the boots, belt, socks, chaps, hat and scarf the night before.

But he also looked small, frail. And for some reason, scared to the point of terrified. Though he was trying to mask it.

"Did Bandit give you some music?" Duo whispered.

"Yes." I nodded, "I'll get it playing for you."

"Thank you." Duo nodded, his voice still not much more than a whisper.

"Have you talked yourself hoarse?" Sally asked. Duo nodded once again. "Wufei?"

"I'll get the tea." Wufei sighed. Over many years we have gotten used to Sally and Wufei tag-teaming us. If it's not sensible to give us drugs… We get Wufei's Chinese teas. Sore throats are dealt with by Chinese teas. I'm still trying to work out where Wufei carries them.

I put the music on. It seemed to be mainly Country Music… But not bad, really.

Duo slowly ate a pair of sausages and some bread. I noticed that he didn't attack the food with his usual vigour, but I put it down to sheer exhaustion. We hadn't stopped for lunch during the trial. And Duo had fallen asleep before supper. Not that we had had much.

Duo pushed away pancakes. He loves pancakes… But we had noticed that he couldn't eat as much as he had before. Shrunken stomach, Sally had told us… It still felt wrong though.

"Duo," Quatre held up the bag Bandit had given us, "The Bandit left some clothes for you… Do you want to get changed?"

"Can't." Duo's voice wasn't any more than a murmur.

"Why not?" Quatre knelt down in front of Duo, trying to look up into his face, which was made more difficult by Duo staring at the floor, hiding behind his hair.

"Just can't." Duo still didn't look up.

"Duo," Quatre' reached up to run his hand across Duo's cheek, "We can't help you if we don't know what's wrong. Why can't you get changed?"

"Because I can't use my fucking hands!" Duo snapped. I had seen it coming, so I was able to catch Quatre as he fell backwards in surprise as Duo leapt to his feet.

"What do you mean?" Heero was the first one of us able to speak; shock having temporarily robbed us of our tongues.

"My fine motor control in my hands is shot to hell!" Duo spat, "I couldn't have used those guns yesterday, even if they were real. I can just about pick up a glass and use a fork or spoon. I'm _useless_! You can't do _anything_! And they won't stop _hurting_!"

Well, I had been waiting for Duo to lose his temper. For him to shout and yell. It was part of the healing process. The next stage would be the tears. Then he could really start to heal emotionally.

All of my attention was on Duo. I could see him fighting against the tears that wanted to fall. In the background I heard someone swear, someone else gasp. But I didn't know who. And I wasn't really interested… All I was concerned with was Duo.

He was scared. And he was hiding his fear with anger.

And the admission made sense. He hadn't used his hands much while I had been watching. Normally his words are punctuated by wide hand gestures and he often used them to show how things were set up… He hadn't.

Then there was the fact that he hadn't tried to signal us to explain what had happened, during the trial.

"Don't worry," Sally breathed, "We can fix this."

"Like hell you can!" Duo fired back, "I knew a Sweeper once. He had the same sort of injuries… They couldn't do anything for him. In the end he took a little space-walk… But see… The thing is… He forgot his space-suit."

Suicide. I could do the maths. But worse still, I could see it in Duo's face. He wasn't wearing his Mask. He was scared. Absolutely terrified. And I could guess the reason… He was scared that that would be his end. That that was all he had to look forward to. An end to the pain.

"What does the pain feel like?" I asked, knowing that Sally would need that information. My voice also calmed Duo slightly.

"The only reasons I know my hands still exist is that I can see them and that they hurt." Duo replied, almost without thinking, "I can't tell you how my fingers are positioned. And when I try to move them, it's like I'm wearing a pair of stiff gloves. I can't feel anything touching my hands. And the pain is like they're in a bowl of ice and someone is stabbing them with a red hot needle."

It was a pretty precise description. And covered all the necessary points.

"Nerve damage," Sally declared, "We can fix that."

"How?" Duo snarled, "They never could fix _Tommy's_! They won't be able to fix mine! I'm just a useless _cripple_!"

"No you're not!" Quatre tried to pull Duo into a hug, but our angry brother just pulled himself away.

"That was, what? Nine years ago?" Sally guessed, "And yeah, back then… Medicine couldn't do much, except tackle the pain… Even two years ago, we'd have been useless… But now? Well, there's a procedure available. It can't cure paralysis, but it can cure some nerve damage. Particularly if the nerves affected aren't huge bundles. Like the ones in your wrists… Which is where the problem is, if I'm any judge… We can fix this Duo. I didn't know how bad the damage was, hence I was loathe to organise any treatment… But now I know, I can get it sorted for it. In two months, you'll barely know you were injured. I promise."

Duo stared at Sally and sank back into the sofa's cushions. Thinly veiled hope shone in his eyes. But he was so wary about it all being a lie.

Five days believing that he was crippled. Five long terrifying days. I realized. Duo had been suppressing all the emotion associated with the injuries.

Quatre quickly sank down in front of Duo, again. This time cradling Duo's hands.

"She's telling the truth." Quatre whispered, "I provided the funding for the research. It only became a recognised procedure about six months back. They'll fix your hands. You'll be fine. I swear. Allah! Duo! You'll be fine. I promise you."

Duo looked around at us. Inwardly I swore as I saw his face… His Mask was back up, again. The real healing would not begin until he cried… But he wasn't going to break right then.

I wondered, for what seemed like the millionth time, just exactly it was that Duo was made of. For it seemed to be stronger than Gundaniam.

"Will you help me then?" Duo asked, waving his hand at the bag.

"Of course." My blond partner smiled. But I could tell that he was upset…

If we had moved _faster_… If we hadn't been caught… If we had taken better precautions… If we had gotten the proof earlier… Then maybe… Just maybe Duo wouldn't be suffering the way he was.

Wufei, Heero, Sally and I stepped away, to give Quatre a little space to help Duo dress. Duo seemed willing to let Quatre close enough to do that… We weren't going to ruin it by being insistent. And anyway, Quatre had always been the most demonstrative of us towards Duo… We didn't want Duo to become skittish…

All of that is just an excuse really. We gave the two of them space, because… Because it was habit. Whenever we were all together in the past, if Duo needed any help… We left it to Quatre.

Fools that we were.

Quatre quickly managed to get the clothes onto Duo. He just looked down at himself and the clothes.

"There's a brown waistcoat, blue hanky-chief and a brown hat in there as well, isn't there?" He sighed.

"Yes." Quatre nodded, "How did you know?"

I looked at Duo. He was wearing brown boots, blue jeans and a red checked casual shirt.

"Because I know Bandit." Duo sighed, "I'll need the sleeves rolled up slightly, as well. Bandit is trying to make a point."

"And you're going to let him?" Sally frowned.

"It doesn't hurt me," Duo shrugged, "And… I owe him one. This is his way of collecting."

"Duo, what did you eat yesterday?" Sally pressed, "I'm sure it wasn't enough."

"Fast food," Duo replied, as Quatre helped him into the waistcoat, "Energy Drinks and Trucker's Candy."

"What's Trucker's Candy?" Sally asked slowly. I could tell that she was slightly worried that it was some sort of drug… But I doubted that it was.

"An Energy Drink without the liquid," Duo retorted, "We just call it Candy."

"Those square things," Quatre said slowly, "You were always eating them on missions."

"They taste better than ration bars," Duo smiled, "I like the orange ones the best."

Duo really looked a cowboy. His Mask was firmly attached to his face, and I'd seen it appear and strengthen, just because of the music playing. He seemed to gain strength from the words and the tunes. It was only when I caught him mouthing along that I realized that the Mask was complete, he was the Duo I always remembered from the War.

And my heart sank. We didn't want that Duo. We wanted what was underneath the Mask. So that we could help him heal.

We headed down to the exit.

"Hey," Duo asked, "How are we getting to the Court House?"

"Doctor Mallard said he'd send Abigail." Wufei stated.

"Abby?" Duo grinned, "Aw crud!"

"What's the matter?" Heero stopped to face Duo.

"You guys have got to promise not to hurt Abby." Duo replied, "Abby's different. She's a good friend… But she's a little… Different."

We all exchanged looks. If _Duo_ was calling someone Different. Then they were probably more than a little Different. Duo had always been highly accepting of other people's personal habits, religions, appearances… He didn't really judge. He'd assess… And he was always right, he could spot someone dressing up or down, far better than Quatre could.

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We did a double take outside the hotel. There was a… car parked on the street and a woman waiting near the car. She was dressed all in black, with black net gloves and a black lace parasol over her shoulder.

But she was wearing black trousers, over heavy black boots, with a black and silver belt. A short sleeved white shirt with slightly puffed sleeves poked out from underneath a black knitted vest top, with a white bat on one of the straps. A black dog-collar with silver spikes was around her neck. A pair of black leather bands were around her wrists. And her black hair was pulled up into a pair of pigtails. A couple of tattoos could be seen on her skin, some running underneath her clothing. The most distinctive of these was a spider's web on her neck.

In fact, she looked like the typical goth in her appearance…

But she had broad smile on her face. And her eyes were full of mischief.

"Duo!" She called out, rushing towards our braided brother.

"Abby!" Duo fired back.

We watched in slight amazement as the woman pulled Duo into a hug and swung him in a full circle. She seemed completely heedless of his wrists or even that he might not want the hug.

"I missed you." She murmured to him.

"Missed you too, Abs." Duo replied.

"And _why_ didn't you come to me?" Abby demanded to know, "You know I would have backed you up. Gibbs too."

"Rule Four," Duo responded quickly, "The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person - if you must. There is no third best."

Duo sounded like he was quoting something… Or _someone_.

"Rule Fifteen," Abby countered, "Always work as a team."

"Rule Eighteen," Duo argued, "It is better to seek forgiveness than ask permission."

"Why didn't you ask for help?" Abby almost pleaded, "You know we would of."

"I couldn't." Duo whispered, "They'd… They'd hurt the others. They'd tell…"

Duo's voice was almost like a child's right then. The Mask had cracked for a moment, but still the tears did not fall.

I felt jealous. How had this girl cut through to Duo? How had she managed to crack the Mask? And why did Duo trust her?

Why not us?

"You sure about that?" Abby asked.

"Then?" Duo looked at her, "Yeah. Now? I'm not so sure."

"Rule Three."

"Never be unreachable?" Duo frowned.

"Don't believe what you're told. Double check." Abby corrected.

"I always confuse those two." Duo shrugged.

"At least tell me you're obeying Rule Nine?" Abby pressed.

"Always be specific when you lie?" Duo recited, "I don't lie, Abby, so how would that be relevant?"

"That's Rule Seven," Abby chided, "Rule Nine is Never go anywhere without a knife."

"Abs," Duo sighed, "I didn't choose my outfit today… And I'm hardly in any state to be using a knife."

Abby just reached out and smacked Duo lightly up the back of the head. Heero shifted his stance slightly, as if to prepare to attack.

"How many does Gibbs owe me?" Duo remarked at the gesture.

"Don't know." Abby shrugged, "Come on! You don't want to be late."

She lead him back to the… car. Well, it a hearse actually.

"You're not going in that!" Quatre protested.

"What else is the God of Death supposed to ride in?" Duo fired back, "And Abs keeps hers in good condition."

"Go ahead of us." Abby said, "You'll want to watch his arrival. Duo always did have style. You get a ten minute head start. It'll take that long for Duo to down this anyway."

She had pulled a drink from the hearse. It was a large cup with a lid and an orange straw coming out the top. Duo carefully wrapped his hands around it, a huge grin on his face.

"Thanks Abs! I haven't had one of these since… the last time I was in your lab."

"Now that's just criminal!" Abby exclaimed.

Quatre had discretely summoned the Maganacs and I could hear him murmuring orders to them.

"Run a quick background check on her. I also want her tailed to the Court House. We'll go ahead."

I wasn't surprised that Quatre was doing that. He'd ordered a quick background check on Doctor Mallard as well, and still hadn't had time to look it through… Though judging by the fact that the Maganacs weren't worried, we had no reason to be worried either.

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We split up and mingled with the previously Silent Protesters. They were mainly silent now, but they also talked quietly. It wasn't as eerie as before.

In the centre of the crowd a guy was nursing a small radio receiver. It was obviously tuned to the Truckers' Radio, judging by the conversation coming through it. Most of the crowd were also paying attention to what was coming out of the speakers.

"This is the Milkybar Kid," Duo's voice came over the system, "Are any of the nutters staking out the Court House sandbagging right now?"

The young looking guy grabbed the mike, a huge smile on his face.

"This is Oracle. I'm here. Come back to me, Milkybar."

"Oracle?" Duo sounded shocked and astounded, "Man, nice to hear your voice, old friend. What you doing around?"

"Waiting on you." Oracle retorted, "What do you think?"

"We still got those straight laced Barbie lovers there?" I could hear the laughter in Duo's voice, which matched Oracle's.

"Of course," Oracle shrugged, "They're not going away. Though I think there are fewer of them. And they're not as loud as they were."

"Fancy freaking out the Norms?"

"What do you want to do?"

"A little bit of singing." I could _hear_ the playful smirk in Duo's voice.

"What song?" Oracle asked, "Because I think yesterday freaked them out as well."

"Nah! That just startled them. I want 'Hoist the Colours'."

"Who's the first soloist?"

"We really need an ankle bitter for that." Duo sighed.

"I've got a tricycle motor." Oracle supplied, "I taught him the song a while back."

"Now don't tell me he's yours?"

"Course not!" Oracle sounded insulted, "He's the grandson of my boss' boss. A good kid. I've looked after him a time or two. He knows the song."

"Sounds like there's a story behind that. I'll look forward to hearing it… Good to hear you're doing alright for yourself, Oracle."

"How ya riding?"

"I'm currently Caf-Pow's seat cover. And she's in her usual."

"That's riding in style, Milkybar." Oracle whistled.

"We're about two minutes out." Duo declared, "Think you can have it ready when we pull up? I'll take the second verse."

"I'll find the Rugrat." Oracle stated, "Over."

"Thanks, Oracle. Talk to you later. Over and out." Duo disconnected.

"Who do you need, Brother John?" Josiah laid one hand on Oracle's shoulders. Meanwhile word was spreading through the protesters, so they all knew what was coming.

"Billy." Oracle replied quickly. "And he'll need to be high, Josiah."

"He can sit on my shoulders." Josiah stated, "You are sure that he knows the song?"

"He knows it." Oracle replied, "Sings it really well too. Buck? Where's Billy?"

"Over with Chris." Another man called out, "Why?"

"I need him to do me a favour." Oracle grinned, "Tell Billy that the Milkybar Kid needs him to sing 'Hoist the Colours' in a bit."

A small child was produced by the crowd. He seemed eager and excited to do this for Duo. Though I doubt that he could ever have met him… He was far too young.

Oracle, Buck and Josiah were joined by three other men, along with Billy. They hoisted Billy onto Josiah's shoulders and were careful to make sure that the small child wouldn't fall.

The second that the hearse came into view, Billy started to sing.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

And once again I have reached a milestone. Thank you all for helping me reach Six Hundred. This chapter is dedicated to: Twillightfairy, my sixth hundredth reviewer.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – Afraid you won't see the songs. I didn't want this turning too much into a song-fic.

Leora chan – I hope this chapter pleased you.

Zuzanny – Ducky's surprisingly easy to write actually. Nice to know you enjoyed it.

Hellfire – Thanks a lot!

Milliefluff – Glad that you liked it.

Arialee – Good to know. Might see who else I can work into this. But I won't promise anything.

Peaceful Angel – The way I see Duo is that he hid a lot of himself from the others, because he didn't think they would understand. And thus he misunderstood them. And they misunderstood him.

Chibi heishi – I like my Truckers. Thanks for the review, good to hear from you.

Katerina Shinigami – Hope you enjoyed this.

Anonymous Void – Thanks for the review.

Illusion-Factory – I wouldn't know how to write House. But it did bring some funny images into my head.

Singergirl221 – I don't know that much about Ouran. Where would I start to look for it? Because it's been mentioned at least three times in the past week. I'm thinking I ought to look it up. But I'm glad you liked the chapter.

Lilly – Thanks for reviewing, I'm pleased you enjoyed the chapter.

Wind Dancer1981 – Thanks.

Darkrevenge – Welcome to the story. Nice to know you like it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Kisa Lynx – This was originally started as POV practice, so glad you think I'm doing well. And Abby? Well I think you've seen.

Twillightfairy – Hope you enjoyed this.

Kage Elric – School can be hell. Work is worse. The Gundam Boys don't understand Duo because they don't understand his background. It shaped him so much that without knowing where he came from they couldn't see where he was and where he was going.

Whitetiger1589 – Like anyone could really hate Duo. Thanks for the review.

Yuhukili – Hope your thesis went well. And thank you. Your words are very kind.

Dragon'sRubyEyes – You'll have to wait for the oneshot, but it is kicking around in my skull. And nice to know you enjoyed the chapter.

Loki's Katsmeow – Thank you.

So-kun – Nice to know _someone_ picked that up.

Solitaire – Thank you! I was hoping that someone would spot that. I had to put it in. And thank you for the blessings as well.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	42. Chapter 42

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Wufei's POV

"The King and his men stole the Queen from her bed." The small boy sung. I noticed that the moment he had started the entire group of protesters had fallen silent. They had also formed almost regimented lines.

"And bound her in her bones." The tune was a haunting one, I had to admit. And the words were confusing, as well as slightly morbid.

"The seas be ours, and by the powers, where we will we'll roam."

"Yo ho, all hands," Josiah took over, "Hoist the colours high."

"Heave ho, thieves and beggars," More voices joined in, "Never shall we die."

They were moving as if they were one. All raising their hands in front of them, but never higher than mid-chest. Their hands were kept a set distance apart from each other, as they raised and lowered them, in time with some beat that only they could hear. Their right leg moved similarly, but only raising a few inches from the ground.

It was an eerie sight. Duo emerged from the hearse. His hands were positioned in a similar manner to the protesters.

"Some men have died," Duo sang, "And some are alive…"

I listened to his voice as he sang the verse. His voice was strong and sure, and it hadn't lost any of its quality over the seven years he had been gone. He still sung proudly as if he wasn't ashamed of being caught singing.

But his movements… They were as if he were shackled and chained. Looking at the protesters I could imagine the chains around their hands and the shackles linking their feet.

I had no idea why they were doing that… But to them it was profound. Although I could see a few smirks on faces. And the smirks were matched by Duo's. He also seemed to have more energy than when I had last seen him… Obviously the drink he had been given had a higher energy content than I had thought.

And they were definitely doing what they had set out to do. I had never seen such scared people as the Pro-Relena protesters… Not even when I was in my Gundam.

The fear on these faces screamed: 'Who are these crazy people? And what are they going to do next?' They huddled together, shying away from the Truckers.

It was actually quite funny, looking from the outside in. Though myself and my brothers were similarly shocked, but we weren't scared, we knew that it was deliberate… That they meant to put fear into the others.

Duo led the way into the Court House, still pretending that he was shackled and chained. Abigail followed him, still carrying that parasol of hers.

We followed in short order behind them.

"Only fools try to win a fight against Minister Relena!" One voice called from the crowd, "Only a fool would believe that they could win!"

Duo stopped on the top step of the Court House, he turned to face the crowd.

"No course is lost if but one fool is left to fight." Duo replied.

The look on his face was confusing. There was determination… And understanding… Humour… And acceptance. But his eyes showed none of that. His eyes were simply afraid. I couldn't quite understand his feelings… But his words were clear enough. We had been fools to defy the Alliance and greater fools still to defy OZ. And yet we had won.

Duo turned and entered the Court House. Again, we followed.

The moment the doors closed behind us, Duo seemed to dissolve into fits of giggles along with Abigail.

"Think we freaked them?" Duo asked.

"Of course!" Abigail agreed, "You'd best get in that Court Room. And remember Rule Thirteen. I'll be nearer the back with Ducky."

Abigail seemed to dash off to take her place. We followed at a more sedate place.

"Rule Thirteen?" Sally finally asked, as we took our seats.

"Never ever involve a lawyer." Duo answered.

"Bit late for that." Trowa teased.

"I take it that the rule maker doesn't like lawyers?" Quatre asked.

"Gibbs?" Duo shrugged, "He hates them. According to Abby, he's been married three times… I think that should say something."

"That divorce lawyers in his area make a killing?" I remarked.

"You seemed pretty friendly with Oracle." Trowa queried. I was curious, but I hadn't heard the conversation.

"He's just a kid," Duo smiled, "I met him during the War. I needed a place to hide out for a bit. He offered his house. His mum is a real Lady. They were poor, but they made me feel welcome."  
"When was that?" Heero pressed.

"Not long after the Gibraltar mission," Duo replied, "I was injured. Needed a place to hide out for a few days. I did that a lot during the War. Just holed up for a few days. He was just a kid back then. Not even a Trucker. He'd just hacked his way into the waves. I Named him. He's a good guy. Nice to know he's done alright."

I, for one, had a thousand more questions to ask Duo. Such as: Who was Doctor Mallard to him? How had he gotten out of the hospital? And many more.

But we couldn't ask them, as the Judge appeared and ordered silence.

I don't recall exactly what the DA's closing statement was. But it pulled heavily on Duo's testimony, accompanied by the corresponding evidence. It mentioned how Duo had shown remorse and acceptance of any punishment. It stated the poor condition Duo had been in and how he had just kept on going. It called upon the written evidence taken from the Conspirators' own homes, for which they had no explanation.

It was a powerful statement. It praised Duo enormously, as both a honest and trustworthy man, but also as a loyal friend.

But I don't think Duo heard it. He just seemed to stare at his hands.

The Defence lawyer chose to pull on the perceived image of his clients. He portrayed Duo as a depraved and evil person, wholly obsessed by death and destruction. He said that Duo had been unable to find peace after the War, and thus had sought to find an avenue to direct his violent tendencies. He blamed Duo and said that Duo had blamed his clients for the peace, so had framed them.

There was more, but I won't relate them. And I didn't hear most of them. I had had to force myself to meditate, so that I didn't leap the Bar and try to throttle the man. Judging by what I could see of the others out of the corners of my eyes, I wasn't the only one.

'There is no emotion. There is peace. There is no emotion. There is peace.' The mantra ran through my head constantly, as I struggled to stay in control of my emotions.

I may even have been mouthing the words… I do not know. But I managed to stay in control.

The Jury was dismissed. They retreated into their room to make their decision… To condemn or free our brother… It was out of our hands.

Once again… We were _useless_!

Time started to tick by. Slowly… Second by second. Each second feeling like a minute. Each minute like an hour.

The Court Room audience got up and moved around. They started to discuss the case. They talked about inane little things.

Duo just stared at his hands. I wasn't even sure if he was seeing them any more.

"Well it is just simply inconceivable that we will be convicted." Relena's voice easily carried across to us, "I'm sure the Jury will be more inclined to believe the words of respected Politicians than a murdering gutter-snipe."

My hands fisted automatically, my nails biting into my palms. For a moment, the action reminded me of the disability Duo was currently struggling with, but only for a moment. I was more concerned with the blackening of Duo's name.

So were the others. The DA turned to face us.

"Don't worry." She said, "Mister Maxwell gave _excellent_ testimony. And the Jury received it well. You did very well."

She reached out, as if to touch Duo. But he flinched away, so she pulled back her hand.

Duo's flinch surprised me. More because it indicated that he was aware of what was going on around him, than that he was scared of someone touching him.

However that thought was pushed aside as Relena and her entourage converged on our location.

Duo lifted his head to match Relena's gaze.

"It is inconceivable that Heero would choose you over me." Relena sneered.

"What does it feel like to loose, Princess?" Duo asked, before any of us could leap to Duo's defence, as we were ready to do.

"It is absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable that I would loose to you." Relena sniffed.

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Duo replied pleasantly, but I, for one, could hear both the humour and the ice behind the words.

"You're the Dread Pirate Roberts, admit it!" Abigail seemed oddly proud to make the random comment.

"With pride." Duo grinned.

"Then what are these around you?" Abigail motioned to us.

"My Brute Squad." Duo stated.

"And I would suppose they are R.O.U.S.s?" Abigail waved her hand in Relena's direction.

"Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist." Duo snickered back, "Though if they did… I am sure they would look like that."

"How dare you?!" Relena spat, her anger increasing.

Duo didn't even seem to notice. He had risen from his seat, and was now leaning against the Bar, his back to Relena. He faced Abigail and Doctor Mallard as he continued his conversation with Abigail.

"I don't think you're the Dread Pirate Roberts." Abigail shrugged, "You're too… _original_. You're Captain Jack Sparrow."

"He's without a doubt the worst pirate I've heard of." Duo seemed to sulk.

"But you have heard of him." Abigail countered.

"Why is the rum always gone?" Duo mock-sighed.

"You're supposed to be dead!" Relena almost shrieked.

"Am I not?" Duo turned to face her. "For too long I've been parched of thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I've been starving to death and haven't died. I feel nothing. Not the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea…

"Miss Relena, you tried to kill a man with your pretty little words and your pretty little lies. But my brothers and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords.

"I still stand… I still live… I still fight… I beat you."

I glanced at Doctor Mallard, he was saddened by Duo's words, as we all were. But Abigail… Her eyes were sad, but her face smiled slightly… As if she were laughing at an in-joke.

And Duo… Duo's voice was filled with tightly controlled anger.

"You didn't beat me. In a fair fight, I'd destroy you!" Relena snarled.

"Well, that's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?" Duo retorted quickly.

"You cheated!" Relena almost lashed out physically.

"Pirate." Duo chirped, as if it were obvious.

"You wanted to know what happened to Une?" Relena fired at Duo, "What happened to your _precious_ Commander?… She killed herself… At least we think she did… No one's quite sure whether it was her bullet or Heero's that hit first."

Duo glanced at us, his eyes trying to see the truth behind Relena's words. I merely nodded when he looked at me. He seemed to relax.

"Then she choose the way she went out." Duo nodded, "She deserved that… It's what she would have wanted. No blame…" Then his voice became hard, "At least she had the guts to choose her path… And she walked it to the end. I'm only glad that I didn't have to do it… Because I don't think I could of given her what she wanted… A quick, clean death… Savvy?"

"Who do you follow?" Relena sneered, "_What_ do you follow? The words and rules of a guttersnipe long dead?"

"I follow the compass needle," Duo replied, "But the compass is broken to your eyes."

I frowned. Duo seemed to be making some sort of profound point… But I couldn't follow it. In fact he had lost me near the beginning of the conversation.

"But at least it never lies." Abigail cut in.

"Don't dismiss me, you Street-rat!" Relena snarled, as Duo turned to face Abigail once again.

"Did you hear that?" Duo asked rhetorically.

"I thought it was a bat." Abigail shrugged.

"How has your art been?" Duo ignored Relena.

"It is something to be seen." Abigail grinned.

"You have a great gift for rhyme."

"Yes, some of the time."

"Stop that!" Relena demanded.

"Do you still use a coffin for a bed?" Duo asked.

"I always will, even when I am dead." Abigail replied.

"Abigail." Doctor Mallard sighed, "Duo… Please."

"Yes Ducky!" The pair chirped in unison.

"Am I to take it that you both downed a Caf-Pow on your way here?" Doctor Mallard queried.

"Of course!" Abigail laughed.

"Oh dear." Doctor Mallard almost groaned, "I doubt that was particularly wise in Duo's case."

"There's _never_ a bad time for Caf-Pow!" Abigail protested.

"Except when you are trying to sleep, my dear." Doctor Mallard corrected.

We didn't get time to ask any questions. The Jury re-entered after their hours of deliberation. We sat down again. My nails were biting into my palms.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury," The Judge asked, "Have you reached a verdict?"

"We have." The Foreman replied.

"What is your decision?"

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Milliefluff – Glad you liked it.

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Chibi Heishi – The song had to fit in, the first time I heard it. I'm like that. I find strange songs and know where they fit.

Singergirl221 – Thanks for the directions. I'll look it up.

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Twillightfairy – Confession here. I've watched the song… But never the movie. Didn't have time at the time. And don't own it.

Arialee – You're welcome!

Illusion-Factory – Stop Reading My Mind! It's a scary place in there. And Billy? Well I've only ever watched the TV _Series_ of the Magnificent Seven. In the series there's a little boy called Billy. He's the grandson of the local Judge and the son of the local _female_ reporter. He sort of looks up to Chris.

Peaceful Angel – Dramatic enough for you?

SisterFreaks – Hey, weird looks from my family are the _norm_. And Gibbs? I don't know. I'll see.

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Lilly – I'll think about the ninjas. And as for Pirates? Well, you'll see.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	43. Chapter 43

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

1235467890

Trowa's POV

I didn't dare blink. I couldn't. In just a few moment we would find out if it was all for nought or not. Duo wouldn't survive prison. Wouldn't survive even a few days.

"In the case of the People Verses Bahadur Isa, we, the Jury, find the Defendant… Guilty."

One down.

"In the case of the People Verses Claudia Mann, we, the Jury, find the Defendant… Guilty of all charges."

Whispering began in the audience.

"In the case of the People Verses Quinton Nielsen, we, the Jury, find the Defendant… Guilty of all charges."

We were winning.

"In the case of the People Verses Karla Stone, we, the Jury, find the Defendant… Guilty of all charges."

Almost there.

"In the case of the People Verses Hung Tanner, we, the Jury, find the Defendant… Guilty of all charges."

I didn't miss the slight smirk that graced Heero's lips at this declaration.

"In the case of the People Verses Mizuno Toshino, we, the Jury, find the Defendant… Guilty of all charges."

Only one left.

"In the case of the People Verses Relena Darlian, nee Peacecraft, we, the Jury, find the Defendant… Guilty of all charges."

All down. We had won…

"In the case of the People Verses Duo Maxwell, we, the Jury, find the Defendant…"

What? We hadn't been warned about this. It made sense in some weird way… But we had counted on a separate trial… A loyal Defence lawyer. _Something_ in our favour… Duo had been handed to the Jury as a sacrifice… This wasn't right!

I could see the shock and horror on Quatre's face. Heero had shut down again. Wufei seemed to be half-way through an internal 'Justice Rant'. Sally was horrified. And I had slipped on my 'Mask of Stone'… But Duo didn't even seem to notice.

"Guilty."

The word tore my world apart. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the Foreman. But I could hear some cries of victory, some of outrage and the definite sound of someone grinding their teeth.

"However given the extenuating circumstances, and the obvious leverage used against him… We, the Jury, do ask that no repercussions be laid against him… As we believe that he was as much a victim in these crimes as those he was forced to harm."

Well, it was something, at least.

The Judge had to bang his gravel several times to get order back in his Court.

"Well," The Judge started, "This has been one fiasco after another. And while I feel that this was rushed to trial… I cannot admit that the outcome is unjust or unfair in anyway. And while I may personally feel that this Court has mishandled the case against Duo Maxwell, by providing him with no friendly lawyer… The outcome would not have changed in my eyes.

"This has been a confusing case. However it now comes down to me to deal with the sentencing.

"I will confess that several people have approached me both with bribes and threats… However Lady Justice is blind. Lady Justice weighs people based on their own merits and the evidence presented here.

"I have been weighing up the various options for many hours. Pondering the many outcomes of this trial.

"The decision I make here is not made lightly. I have not rushed it in any way…"

I wished he would get it over with. The suspense was not helping. I glanced at Duo. He didn't seem to care one way or the other. He was just completely passive. Quatre was gripping one of Duo's hand so tightly that the skin had turned white. My lover was going to bruise Duo's hand if he wasn't careful.

What would make it worse would be that while Duo wouldn't blame Quatre… Quatre _would_ blame himself. As Duo once said, Quatre blames himself for everything. A habit I have tried hard to break… And failed miserably.

"I do herby sentence Bahadur Isa, Claudia Mann, Quinton Nielsen, Karla Stone, Hung Tanner, Mizuno Toshino and Relena Darlin, nee Peacecraft to ninety seven consecutive life-sentences to be served in maximum security prisons. They have proved that they are willing to go to any extremes to achieve their ends. Thus I also declare that any and all of their bank-accounts are fined ninety percent of their wealth, to ensure that they have reduced leverage over others to do their deeds.

"I hope that this will stop any attempts… But I doubt it. The money collected will be returned to those it was stolen from, if such attempts can be proven, and donated to various humanitarian charities if not."

Good news. At least they would not be a problem… Or should not be a problem.

"Also, I herby sentence Duo Maxwell to four years probation… During which time he is not to unlawfully kill any person or commit any unlawful activity. Otherwise, he is free to continue his life in whatever manner he deems fit… Court Adjourned."

He banged his gravel. The sound echoed in the silent chamber.

Duo was free…

Duo was free!

It took a few moments for the implications to sink in, but then conversation began again. Like a wave crashing over the sea.

"Yes!" I heard Abby cry out.

Duo didn't react though. Quatre was hugging him, but Duo was just blank.

It was almost as if putting the smile on for the little _display_ earlier had robbed him of all emotion.

Then, as if an internal switch had been thrown, Duo broke out into the widest smile I had ever seen… It was also the most fake smile I had ever seen.

But that moment passed, and the Mask settled into a more believable expression. Somewhere between joy, regret, sorrow and disbelief.

It was so quick that I doubt anyone else saw it. I doubt that anyone else was in a _position_ to see it. With Duo's head tucked over Quatre's shoulder and the order we were sitting… I was blocking everyone else's view.

Duo rose to his feet and pushed past us to where Abby and Doctor Mallard were waiting in the aisle.

"Let's go outside." Duo called back to us, "They won't leave until they know."

"You up for this?" Abby asked.

"You would be better off persuading Jethro to drink decaf, or Anthony to stop admiring women, Abigail." Doctor Mallard chided, "Duo has a duty to fulfil. An obligation, if you will."

We all glanced at each other… Duo should have been free and clear. He should not have had any more debts to pay.

He _needed_ time to heal. Both physically and emotionally… _Especially_ emotionally.

Duo marched forward with Abby and Doctor Mallard at his sides. The rest of us followed, acting as a rear-guard.

We had no illusions about Duo's safety… Until the funds were confiscated and the Conspirators in jail Duo was at risk.

Even afterwards there would be some fool who would try to kill him… Probably in Relena's name… But it should only be about as dangerous as the threats Quatre received… Nuts and Cranks.

Duo stepped out onto the top step of the Court House. I had expected him to be swamped by the Press, desperate for a photo or an interview… Or even a quote.

But the Truckers appeared to have the paparazzi well under control.

Boom. Boom. Bash. Boom. Boom. Bash. The beat began, just as it had the day before. Only now I could see that it was the Truckers. They stamped their feet twice, and then clapped.

The singing joined in soon after, and this time we could hear the words. I blinked in slight surprise at them.

"Buddy, you're a boy; making big noise, playing in the streets; gonna take on the World some day."

I had heard the tune before. Of that I was certain. But I could not recall where. It was merely tantalisingly familiar. I tried to recall it as we descended to pavement level.

"The Fifth movement of the Queen Symphony," Quatre exclaimed quietly, "The Andante Maestoso. That's what this is based on."

"I regret that I must inform you that your assumption is incorrect, Mister Winner." A cultured, sophisticated voice declared. It had the distinctive twang, declaring the owner as being from the south of the United States of America.

We turned to try and find the speaker, but he was well hidden in the crowd. Duo hadn't reacted… At least not visibly.

"While the association you have drawn between the two pieces _is_ established fact," The voice continued, "You are erroneous in your statement that this piece was inspired by the Symphony. In fact the reverse is the correct version of events."

"I'd know those long words anywhere," Duo turned to face the speaker, "Ez!"

"Ez-_ra_." A man emerged from the crowd, "Pray explain to me, Mister Maxwell, why it is that yourself and my compatriots find it impossible to address or refer to me by my name? It is a mere two syllables or I would be more inclined to understand your difficulty."

We all bristled at the apparent insult to Duo. But Duo seemed to shrug it off. I took in Ezra. He was well dressed, a fact that made him stand out among the Truckers. If the suit wasn't tailor-made then I needed to improve my observation skills.

"Compatriots?" Duo blinked, "Wow, you made some real close friends, huh? That's good to hear. Even the Confederate Ace needs someone to watch his back."

"I'll _kill_ you!" A voice interrupted whatever Ezra was going to say next.

Relena stood on the top step. She had a gun in her hands. Where she had got it from, I had no idea. But she held it like she knew what she was doing. And she was aiming it directly at Duo.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – Thank you. And I had to leave it there. The muses liked it.

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Anonymous Void – There's a third verse to the song. But I didn't feel like transcribing it. While I may mix songs into my stories I will not allow the song to _become_ the story. Thanks for the tips.

PurpleLeopard – Welcome to the story. And thanks for the compliment. I run my spell-checker ragged.

Kage Elric – Is this soon enough? And the films are old in this story. So most people won't have heard of them.

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Arialee – Yes, I am serious. And you're welcome.

Tenshi_nanashi – I don't know what I'll steal next. I just write and it comes. And glad you recognised all the stuff. Most people don't get it all.

Singergirl221 – Hope this was soon enough.

Darkrevenge – I used to meet up with a bunch of old boys (as I called them) once a year. They sort of treated me the way some of the Truckers here treat Duo. Always brings back memories. If I knew how I'm managing to keep everything straight, I'd tell you. But I don't. Thanks for the review. Glad you liked it.

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Chibi Heishi – Oh, they heard… But whether they wanted to get involved was a different matter. And I don't think I'm killing you… You'd think I'd remember something like that.

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Twillightfairy – Also 'The Princess Bride'. Very good film. Glad you liked it.

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Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	44. Chapter 44

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

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Wufei's POV

We moved as one to block Duo from Relena's sight. He would have died for us… He had killed for us. We were willing to die for him.

We started to pull our guns out from concealment.

But Duo had other ideas, he slipped past us, with speed that I would not have thought possible from him given his health state.

Heero lunged to try and pull him back, but Duo murmured so quietly that I think we were the only ones who heard him:

"Not yet. Trust me."

It was strange. But Duo seemed to have some sort of plan. Even as he pushed our weapons down so that they weren't aimed. We would still be able to move quickly should it come to it. I highly doubted that Relena would be able to kill Duo with one shot. Then again, before that moment, I had doubted that Relena even knew how to hold a gun correctly.

"I'm not wearing a rose." Duo spoke clearly, "They don't look good on me. Rather like yourself."

I didn't get what Duo was saying. It was almost as if he were having a civilized conversation with an acquaintance.

"So if you're going to shoot me," Duo carried on, "You'll have to hit _me_. Not the rose, like you did with Colonel Une, as she was then."

There were cries of shock and alarm… And overwhelming confusion. I had never heard of this. When had it happened? How did Duo know about it?

Suddenly Relena had become a bigger threat to Duo's safety than before. I could see Heero fighting with himself as to whether to jump to Duo's rescue, or to trust the braided boy.

I could understand his confusion and desire. The person he loved was being threatened, he could either attempt to save the day, or trust that they were strong enough to protect themselves.

And Duo had asked for Heero's trust. I had a feeling that Duo could have asked for Heero's entire world, and my partner would have served it up on a silver platter… But to put Duo's life at risk? That was asking far more… Of all of us.

"How?" Relena stared, "No one would tell! They agreed to keep it quiet!"

"My friends told me." Duo shrugged, "They were there. They saw. And they never promised to keep quiet."

"Street-rats?" Relena scoffed, "What would Street-rats be doing at a party of the high elite? Inconceivable!"

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Duo repeated the line he had used earlier. Only this time all the Truckers heard it, and they burst into a brief smattering of laughter. The line obviously meant more than it appeared.

"They wouldn't have been there!" Relena almost shirked, "Only those of any worth were there!"

I realized that Duo was deliberately antagonising Relena. And she was reacting perfectly. All of her carefully hidden prejudices coming out into the open.

"Not quite," Duo grinned, "I had friends there. Though you never noticed them… I doubt you ever would. It was in Russia, wasn't it? Moscow? Not long after Heero decided to blow himself to pieces."

That was very precise, at least to us. Given a computer, I could probably even narrow down the party and the attendees.

"You were there with your adopted… Grandfather, wasn't it?" Duo carried on, almost pleasantly, "Colonel Une was wearing a red rose. Quite symbolic I thought… The white rose blushing in shame… The fall from Grace."

I didn't quite understand Duo's words. There was a hidden meaning that I couldn't quite perceive.

"Your loyalty was to us!" Relena yelled.

"No," Duo shook his head, "You just thought that. And I never corrected you. My loyalty is for Solo… And the Baker Street Irregulars… It is for Father Maxwell, Sister Helen… And the Orphanage Kids… It is for my brothers… It was never for you. Once… You had my respect. But you lost that a long time ago."

"How… How?" Relena didn't seem to be referring to Duo's statement, "You broke! You broke! You can't be this strong! You broke!"

"Oh, little Princess," Duo almost seemed to chide, "You just don't get it, do you? I never broke.

"I'm not an oak tree. I'm the willow tree. I bend in the wind. Yes, if you push me down long enough and hard enough… I'll break. But I bent just enough to fool you. I didn't break."

Traditionally the comparison is between the oak tree and a blade of grass. But Duo's was far more accurate for the situation, I realized. Yes, Duo had bent. The only option for him really. And while hadn't broken… Nataku! He had cracked. Before a willow tree breaks, it cracks. Duo had cracks in him.

If we hadn't gotten to him when we did… If Commander Une hadn't set Duo up when she did… He would have broken… As it was, he had come very close.

I had never been too observant of people's emotional states. That had changed after the Rebellion. And I could now see Duo's Mask for what it was… A Mask. And it was cracked. Duo could barely hold it together.

"So the question I'm asking you, little Princess," Duo carried on, "Is whether you can kill me? Kill me like you failed to kill Une."

Duo had climbed the steps to be on a level with Relena. He was now less than ten metres from her.

"You're just a stupid street-rat!" Relena spat.

"Maybe," Duo shrugged, "But I'm the one who isn't going to jail, little Princess."

"I'll kill you!" Relena screamed, "I'm armed, and you're not."

"Well, hardly sounds fair." A voice stated softly, but I couldn't see the speaker, though he was male.

"Nope." A black man moved to the front of the crowd.

"Why howdy, little lady." Another man moved across the empty space to stand a little in front of the crowd behind Relena.

A blond man dressed all in black emerged from the crowd. Silently he moved to stand next to Duo.

"Stay out of this cowboy," Relena snarled, "This isn't your business."

"Did she just call me a cowboy, JD?" The blond almost drawled.

"I think she did, Mister Larabee." The boy whom Duo had called Oracle earlier, smiled as he came forward on the man's right.

"At least once." Ezra drawled grinning, from next to Oracle. He was fiddling with the cuff of his jacket.

"He hates that." Josiah was almost smirking, from just in Relena's blind spot on her right.

I noticed that the other men had also moved forward slightly. Not one of them stepped between Duo and Relena. Instead they stood as almost silent sentinels. Offering their support to Duo and intimidating Relena.

As one we moved to join them. We would not allow others to show us up in our brother's defence.

"You just called me a cowboy?" Larabee returned to what appeared to be the main point. But I could tell that it was just a ruse.

"This isn't your business!" Relena declared.

"Not yet." Larabee smiled slightly.

"Kill me if you want, little Princess," Duo acted as if he was oblivious to what was going on around him. But I knew he wasn't, "But there's always a price for killing."

"You should be _dead_!" Relena hissed.

"That's what a lot of people say." Duo shrugged, "But are you willing to rectify that? With your own hands?

"You're a _nobody_!"

"Maybe," Duo didn't really react to the word, "But I won. You lost. I may be only a street-rat… But I beat you. There's no fairytale ending for you. No happily ever after. No _Knight_ on his white horse to fall in love with you."

The stress on Knight was subtle, but we all heard it. We saw the unconscious glance by Relena towards Heero. It made sense in a way. Relena the Princess and Heero the Knight.

"I won. You lost." Duo repeated, "You kicked sand in my face, but I came through. You tried to tear me down. But I'm still standing. I got knocked down. But I got up again. You're never going to keep me down."

There were various snickers at Duo's words. And faint cheering. But I couldn't understand why.

"And you know what, little Princess?" Duo stared at her, "I just wanna live while I'm alive. It's my life. You don't get to toy with me anymore. I've cut my strings.

"And where you're going… You're going to be somebody else's toy. You've got a sharp mind… A ruthless mind… But that won't matter unless you've got some muscle to back it up. And you don't have that _Princess_… Maybe now you'll see what the other half lives like… Have fun. Maybe you'll even like it."

There were barely veiled barbs in Duo's words. And yet he stayed just the right side of crude. But even so, the barbs struck home.

"You're not the Princess," Duo carried on, "You're not the Damsel in Distress. You're not the Pure Maiden. You're not even the Beautiful yet Poor Serving Girl.

"You're the Wicked Witch. You're the Evil Stepsister. You're the Cruel Hag.

"There's never a happy ending for them. The Handsome Prince never falls in love with _them_."

"He's _mine_!" Relena snarled, "Not yours."

"He's his own." Duo shrugged, "I don't claim him. I'll say that I am close to him. But he can give his love to whoever he wants. Even if its you. I won't stand in the way. But I won't let you take him either… Wicked Witch."

The last two words were too far for Relena to take. We knew it the moment Duo spoke the words. I, for one, feared that Relena would fire the gun.

But Duo had somehow gotten her so enraged that the gun was forgotten. It slipped from her fingers as she charged Duo, intent on punching him into submission.

She never got within two metres. And none of us had to move. One of the seven men stepped forward and pulled her into his arms.

"Hey now, little lady." The man drawled, "There's no need to be doing that. The boy's injured."

It was almost as if he were chastising a chid for trying to climb onto a wounded person's lap… Not preventing an attacker from reaching their target.

"Let me go!" Relena shrieked, "I am your Queen!"

"Miss Darlain," Ezra stepped forward, dusting imaginary dust off his sleeve, "You misstate your prominence. I have a vivid recollection of you resigning your position.

"Mister Maxwell, by comparison," Ezra carried on, "Is far more accustomed to belittling his magnitude of relevance. His customary allusion to himself as merely a waif of the streets belies his incredible fortitude and perseverance.

"Therefore I would wonder why you seem so persistent on attempting a spontaneous amateur attempt of pugilism on him?"

"I am the Queen!" Relena insisted once again.

"No." Oracle shrugged, "You're just a criminal with delusions of grandeur."

"I am Your Queen!" Relena yelled, "You must obey! Not pamper some pathetic little guttersnipe!"

"Duo was a legend among us before we had even heard your name," Larabee glowered, "He was a hero. A survivor. He _earned_ his title. You were simply born to it."

Heero turned on the prison guard who had just emerged from the Court House.

"How did she get free?" Heero growled, glaring at the man.

"It didn't seem right to cuff her…" The guard started, "I mean she's the Foreign Minister."

"Former Foreign Minister," Heero snarled, "She is now a prisoner. And your duty is to guard her. You failed."

I could see the guard quailing under the glare. I wasn't surprised. Heero's glare was on full force, as was mine, Trowa's, Sally's and even Quatre's.

That glare was backed up by Larabee's as well as the rest of what I assumed were his friends.

With swift and economical movements, Josiah relieved the guard of the cuffs and tossed them to the man restraining Relena, who quickly cuffed her.

"Next time," Larabee murmured, "Don't let a prisoner steal your gun."

I glanced and noticed what I had missed before. The gun was missing. We had been so preoccupied with checking that Duo was alright, that we had completely missed it.

Heero, Trowa and I turned our glares on the guard once again, even as he took custody of Relena.

"I paid her to kill you!" Relena spat, "Doctor Jackson promised that she would make sure you _died_!"

A name. I made quick note of the name. Someone to arrest later on. Someone involved.

"Not quite," The black man spoke up, "Raine merely promised that she would make sure Duo was taken care of. And that she did. She contacted me."

So an ally then. I had to readjust my thoughts.

"Your wife?" Duo smirked, "Raine Jackson. Nice name. What's her handle?"

"Saint Storm." The reply was quick.

"Nice," Duo nodded, "Knowing you, she's got a back-bone of steel and is as tough as nails, but she's also kind and gentle. You always were a mama bear. Just like Josiah."

Then Duo turned towards us, a large grin on his face.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet some old friends of mine," He stated, "That's Lucifer, Playdog, Oracle, Preacher, Saint Healer and the Confederate Ace. They're also known as: Chris, Buck, JD, Josiah, Nate and Ezra. Though how they hooked up together I don't know."

"We're called the Magnificent Seven these days, son." Josiah smiled.

"Seven?" Duo spun around, this time really looking at them.

He paled slightly when he saw them all together. His eyes fixed on the man standing next to Larabee. He took one step back, as the man took one step forward.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Kisa Lynx – Ezra (and his friends) I borrowed from the TV Series the Magnificent Seven, though they are also borrowed from MOG's ATF Universe. Also give your cat some tuna. I think he needs it.

Arialee – You're welcome.

PurpleLeopard – But I _like_ the cliff-hangers.

Tenshi_nanashi – I'm more of a JD fan myself. Only recently got introduced to the Magnificent Seven. I'm still making my way through season 1. Season 2 is on my bedroom floor. Though I have read a fair bit of the fanfiction.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – Glad you enjoyed it.

Chibi Heishi – I hope this was satisfactory.

Kage Elric – Yes. Heero _would_ enjoy shooting Relena. But he didn't get to.

Hellfire – Thanks a lot!

Milliefluff – Sorry, third cliff-hanger on the trot. Hope you enjoy!

Anonymous Void – I wouldn't say smart. I just read a lot. And I know what I like and what I don't.

Danni – Ah, but Relena has people on her side. And people who still treat her with deference.

Peaceful Angel – Nice to know you liked it. And thanks for your insight on Relena.

Twillightfairy – I stole Ezra from the Magnificent Seven TV series. A great old show.

Dragon'sRubyEyes – I don't like quick and easy retribution on characters. Long suffering is more my style.

Solitaire – Redhead, huh? I can picture it. Me, brunette. Thanks for the review.

Illusion-Factory – You know, I'd only vaguely heard of the Boondock Saints before. I may have to watch it.

So-kun – Glad you liked them.

Kay – You had your heart-attack? Or are you still there? Hope you are, and hope you enjoyed this.

Wind Dancer1981 – Because I like them.

Lilly – Yup! Relena's flipped.

Leikaru – Welcome to the story. Hope this chapter matches up to expectations.

Whitetiger1589 – Hope I answered all your questions.

SukiNora – I confess; I was inspired by Chix0r Neko's story. That's all. But I never intended to steal sections word for word, or even anything close to it. I just took Chix0r Neko's initial idea and ran with it. That's all.

Bunch-o-Nuts – It's always good to hear from you. Nice to know you like it. And well done on spotting some of the references.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	45. Chapter 45

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

This story was inspired and the first few chapters heavily influenced by cHixOr Neko's work, titled "Sunrise, Come Again"

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Quatre's POV

There was fear and shock in Duo's eyes. More shock than fear. And his muscles were tensing as if he were about to turn and run. I moved closer to him, running a comforting hand down his back.

Wufei, Trowa and Heero moved to block the long-haired (but not as long as Duo's) stranger from nearing on Duo. He noticed the move, and stopped short of them, a smile on his face as he continued to look between them at Duo.

"I'm no longer a Bounty Hunter." He stated.

The tension bled out from Duo's muscles, and he shrugged off my touch. He slalomed through the others to stand in front of the man.

"Really, Vin?" Duo asked.

"I quit." The now named Vin nodded, "Had something else to do."

"You were the best!" Duo gaped, "You nearly caught me a time or three."

"And paid for it." Vin shrugged, one hand moving to rub his right shoulder.

"Hey!" Duo protested, "I was only returning what you gave me."

"It was my shoulder." Vin countered.

"And my hip." Duo retorted, "I reckoned I could run faster than you, even injured… Any you know what? I was _right_!"

Vin leaned forward and placed a hand at the back of Duo's neck. He squeezed gently once, and then released him.

I was… amazed by the level of understanding between them. It seemed like that one motion had been a whole conversation. They had forgiven each other… If they had ever hated each other.

It was like Duo _respected_ Vin without worrying about the fact that they had been on opposite sides.

"Guys," Duo turned to us, "The last of this merry band is Vin, also known as the Hound. Back when I knew him… He was the best damn Bounty Hunter around. He can track a bird in flight, hours after it has flown."

I could hear the praise in Duo's words. But I couldn't understand why.

"That's why he's called the Hound," Oracle stepped forward, "Usually Bounty Hunters are called Dogs. Old tradition. Only Vin was so good, they called him Hound. Mark of respect."

"You going to the Meet?" Buck asked.

"Of course, Buck." Duo shrugged, "It's expected."

"I'd offer you a ride," Josiah smiled, "But we can only just about fit all of us in my Chevy. And that's with Vin and JD crammed in the back."

Duo spun around to look at the road. There parked in full view was a Chevy Suburban.

"Jeeze Josiah," Duo laughed, "Is that where it broke down, or did you actually manage to park it this time?"

"I parked it, son." Josiah seemed affronted by the accusation.

"The engine stopped ten metres further up." Buck whispered conspiratorially, "It coasted."

"And we have to look after Billy as well." Chris stated.

"He sits on Buck's lap." JD shrugged.

"Where is the rugrat?" Duo asked, "I think I ought to meet my fellow singer."

The child was brought forward, awe in his eyes for Duo… As well as for Chris.

"Hey little one," Duo knelt down, "What's your name?"

"Billy." The child whispered shyly. He wasn't much more six.

"Well that's a great name!" Duo grinned, "Only I don't think it's a Handle. You sang for me. So I'm gonna name ya. Savvy?"

"Savvy." The kid nodded, his smile matching Duo's.

Duo moved to his feet. He used to be graceful. Like some kind of cat. His movements had been comparatively jerky ever since we had found him. He was regaining his grace, but… It was slow coming.

"I was the youngest of us," Duo addressed the Truckers, "At thirteen or so we think. This lad is younger still. Does any here dispute his right to be one of us?"

"Nay!" The cry was loud and strong.

"I claim the right to Name him." Duo declared, "Does any man or woman here dispute that right?"

"Nay!" Again the cry was firm.

"Do I have suggestions?"

"Rugrat!"

"Tricycle Motor!"

"Ankle-Biter!"

"I will not name him as a child." Duo retorted, "I have had a hard enough time living with my name. I will name him… Herald. For he heralded my arrival… And now… Let's Rock!"

"And Ride!" The crowd roared back… With joy and glee.

But from Duo all I could really sense was exhaustion. He was pushing himself beyond his limits… Once again.

"I got a couple of Cheese Wagons and Churches on Wheels coming in." One woman called out, holding up a radio, "That's for those of us who parked at the Meet and caught a ride in."

"How you travelling, Milkybar?"

"Not with the Richie Roach?"

Duo spun at that accusation.

"Don't you dare say that about my brother!" He snarled. It's funny, but I basked in the feeling his words and tone gave me. He was once again protecting me… From something I didn't understand.

"Quatre's a Limo Liberal," Duo carried on, "The _only_ Richie he bares _any_ resemblance to is Richie Rich. You insult my brothers… And I will not be happy."

"And if he's not happy…" Chris Larabee moved forward, "And he has a good reason… _I'm_ not happy."

"Nor am I." Abby agreed.

"If he's not happy," Another voice chimed, "There's a lot of us not happy."

He wasn't a tall man, but not short either. With almost ginger hair, two sideburns and a big smile. He wore blue jeans, a checked red shirt and a green gillet. He laid a careful hand on Duo's shoulder.

"And anyway," The man continued, "He's riding with me."

"Your turn, huh, Snowman?" Duo shrugged, looking up at the man.

"Yeah, kid." Snowman nodded, "My turn."

"Fred in your Rig?" Duo asked.

"Yup." Snowman smiled.

"I'll see you guys at the Meet." Duo turned to us, "I would ask Snowman if one of you guys could join us in his Rig… But with Fred in there as well… You don't wanna ride with Fred. He smells."

"Now you take that back!" Snowman protested, "Fred don't smell all that bad."

"You don't have no sense of smell." Duo fired back, "But I'll ride with ya. See you at the meet, JD!"

For a moment it was as if no time had passed since the War and the Rebellion. Duo weaving through the crowd. A living, breathing whirlwind.

But time _had_ passed. And that wasn't our Duo anymore. He was faking it… Because he didn't have a choice in the matter. He had to _be_ the Milkybar Kid for these people… Just as he had _had_ to be the Fool for us.

The crowd hadn't parted for Duo, if anything they pushed closer to him. As if everyone wanted to touch a Legend… A Hero… A Demi-God.

It was so different to when I walked through a crowd. People parted for me. As if I were too powerful to be touched… Yet Duo… Duo was more powerful still, because it was almost as if they believed that if they touched him they would be granted a fraction of his power.

They only stood back from him when he reached the road and the vehicles parked there.

I watched as Duo leant against the cab of a truck. Just the cab though. The back part of the truck was missing.

For a moment I saw the Milkybar Kid. I saw what the Truckers saw. I saw confidence… Strength… Determination… Humour… Caring… Power… Compassion.

Then it was gone. And there was only my old friend, dressed in clothes that weren't his standard and a huge, _false_ grin on his face.

We weren't the only ones who approached him. The Magnificent Seven, Doctor Mallard, Abby and Snowman also followed.

"You will be careful?" Doctor Mallard asked gently.

"I'll try Ducky." Duo shrugged, "You still got that little Morgan of yours?"

"Yes I have," Ducky smiled, "And it is still in good condition. Though I did have to replace the gear box recently."

"Take care of yourself!" Abby wrapped Duo in a tight hug, before whispering, "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Abs." Duo murmured back, not at all perturbed by the hug.

"Next time you get yourself into a hole…" Chris began.

"I know, I know." Duo sighed, "Contact you. I know. I didn't think…"

"There's your problem right there, son." Josiah interrupted, "You didn't think. You always were prone to rushing into things."

"I know, Preacher." Duo shrugged, "But I can't help it. I set my sails and damn the consequences. I've always been that way. More brains than sense. That's what Solo used to say."

"You ask for help next time," JD insisted, "Any time, any place. You're my friend."

"Thanks." Duo stared.

"Mister Maxwell," Ezra stepped forward, "You have been, as always, a delightful companion, and in the near future I anticipate your presence at my humble abode for a game of skill and chance."

"Not for a while, Ezra," Duo replied, "I haven't played in a while. I would not wish to insult your considerable skill with a substandard game. Give me a while to get back in shape."

"I shall await your arrival, Mister Maxwell." Ezra gave a strange sort of two fingered salute, as if he were touching the brim of a non-existent hat.

"Come on, kid." Snowman opened the cab door for Duo to scramble up, "And the rest of you! Don't be acting like you're saying goodbye. You're meant to go to the Meet!"

"Sure," Buck grinned, "But it's not like we'll be able to _talk_ to the kid then. You know we won't be able to."

"True." Snowman nodded, "I'll see you guys there."

"Duo?" Heero stared at our brother.

"Guys, I'll be fine," Duo sighed, "I'm among friends. Don't worry. I'll be okay. I'll see you at the Meet. You'll be… Surprised. It's a little… Strange for newcomers. And a little… Overwhelming. Ride free citizens."

He pulled the door shut. Even with his injured hands, Duo could still manage simple things.

We didn't get any more time to protest. The moment that Snowman pulled his cab door shut, he was away. Leaving us in his wake.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

It was recently pointed out to me that I had given no credit to the inspiration for this story, cHixOr Neko's work, titled "Sunrise, Come Again". I am correcting this error in judgement. And would suggest that people read the story, as the author has just started posting again. *Does a happy dance*

My story was heavily inspired by this piece and I am now giving it the credit it is due. I apologize for not doing this earlier.

And once more I have hit a landmark. Seven Hundred reviews. And thus this chapter is dedicated to: Whitetiger1589. My seven hundredth reviewer. Well done! And thanks to you all.

Milliefluff – Probably, I stole the characters again.

Wind Dancer1981 – Sorry. A little in joke.

PurpleLeopard – You're welcome! *Deliberately tries to act cute* Glad you liked it.

Anonymous Void – I do have a plan. It just has a few small kinks to work out.

Arialee – I don't think there's a cliff-hangers' anonymous.

Kage Elric – Hope this lived up to your expectations.

Peaceful Angel – Glad you got some of the references. Have fun when you find the series of the Magnificent Seven.

Illusion-Factory – And you were right. Hope the intro lived up to expectations.

Loki's Katsmeow – Thank you.

Hellfire – Don't you die on me. I think I'd starve without your food.

Lilly – So who did you think it was?

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – Hope this was quick enough for you.

Ryo19 – Sorry! Nice to know you liked it though.

Dark Dragonkitty Lord – Welcome to the story. And I have no intention of stopping.

Chibi Heishi – I _like_ cliffies.

Twillightfairy – Oh, Gibbs will come. Just not yet. And my posts may slow down soon. But I'm doing my best so that they don't.

Whitetiger1589 – Hope you enjoyed this one.

Kay – I think the guard should just retire about now.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	46. Chapter 46

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

This story was inspired and the first few chapters heavily influenced by cHixOr Neko's work, titled "Sunrise, Come Again"

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Heero's POV

We watched him drive away. A little part of me felt like he was driving away from all of us, forever… From _me_… _Forever_.

He didn't need me. He didn't need _us_.

He had hundreds of people who treated him with respect… As we had never done… As _I_ had never done. During the War, I had never told him that I respected him… That I _loved_ him. But they had.

Why would he want to come back to me? When he had all of them.

"One day," JD sighed, "He won't need that smile."

"Even if it kills him…" Buck breathed.

"He's gonna smile." Nathan finished.

"It's hard isn't it, son." Josiah murmured to me.

"What?" I turned to face him.

"You think he doesn't need you." Josiah shrugged, "You think he'll be fine on his own. You think he won't want to come back when he's got all of us. You're scared that you don't know how to cope without him… Because you didn't do too well last time."

"How do you…?" I stared at him.

"I'm a profiler, son." Josiah shrugged, "It's part of my job. And you're wrong."

I frowned.

"He needs you." Josiah carries on, "He needs your respect… Your love… Maybe not the love you actually have for him… But… He's a street-kid. You can take the boy from streets, but you can't take the streets from the boy. He needs a gang. And ain't it. We could never be. We're too old. Or we don't have the right bonds.

"You do. All of you. And I don't know why or how. But you're what he wants. All of you.

"But you harm him… And I shall, as Brother Jackson says, go Old Testament on you."

I didn't quite understand the meaning of his words. But I understood the tone.

"If you love someone, son," Josiah carried on, as if he had never threatened us, "You gotta let them go. There's an old saying about wild animals. You can take one in. Love it. Care for it. Own it. But it is never truly yours, until the day you set it free and it comes back to you of its own accord. Same is true with people, son. Think about it."

Josiah moved slightly away from me, giving me space to think. But my thoughts were too many and were racing too fast for me to make any headway in understanding.

"Doctor Po?" Nathan spoke quietly to Sally.

"Yes?" She frowned as Nathan pushed a data-drive into her hand.

"That's all the treatment information Duo was given at the hospital." Nathan answered the unasked question, "I thought you would want it sooner rather than later."

"Thank you." Sally blinked, "But why…?"

"Duo's a friend of mine. I'm quite fond of the boy. He's a good kid."

"He's a man." Sally corrected.

"Maybe to you," Nathan shrugged, "But the first time I saw him, he was twelve years old. Scrappy as hell. He'll never change in my eyes."

"Just as he'll always be six to me." Doctor Mallard agreed, "He is a fighter. And he'll stick by his friends through thick and thin… That reminds me of another young man I once met…"

"Doctor Mallard?" Nathan sighed, "Not now. If we don't set off soon, we'll be late to the Meet. And none of us want that."

"Do you think Relena really did that?" Quatre spoke quietly. I didn't fail to notice that he'd left off his customary 'Miss'. "I mean shoot at Commander Une?"

"Duo said she did." Trowa reminded, while I bristled at the implication that Duo had lied. Quatre knew that Duo didn't lie.

"Yes," Quatre nodded, "But what if he was misinformed?"

"While that might have been a plausible turn of events," Ezra spoke up, "I must enlighten you Mister Winner that your assumption is erroneous. While I was not the witness who informed young Mister Maxwell of the occasion, I was present at the altercation. It was as Mister Maxwell portrayed, albeit a rather lax narrative. A social gathering in Moscow. At the time, my dearest Mother was engaged to an elevated affiliate of the Romafellure Foundation. The gentleman in question departed from this plane of existence not one month afterwards, the victim of a Gundam attack as I recall… One of my compunctions is that I was deficient in the opportunity to express my gratitude to the Pilot concerned. He was not a benevolent man… And while I may not be privy to the precise minutiae about how Mister Maxwell was enlightened of the altercation, I can presume to infer and believe that I am cognisant of, if not the specific identity of the informant, the exact manner in which the information was gathered."

We all blinked as we tried to translate Ezra's words into something approximating to simple terms.

After about five seconds, JD took pity on us.

It's not that we couldn't have figured it out eventually, only that figuring it out was wasting time and we weren't really bothered with what Ezra had said.

"Yes it happened." JD counted points off on his fingers, "Ezra was there. He didn't tell Duo. He thinks he knows how Duo was told. The rest is basically irrelevant right now."

"You're Oracle?" Sally frowned at him, "_The_ Oracle? You're just a kid!"

"Yeah, I'm The Oracle." JD shrugged, "Didn't think anyone would remember."

"Who's the Oracle?" Wufei asked.

"I am." JD grinned.

"He was a phantom." Sally explained further, "A legend during the War. No one knew who he was… Or where he was. We Rebels use to get e-mails. Untraceable. Always signed 'Oracle'. At first all they told us were where OZ was going to strike next. Alerting us to where they were hunting for us. As time went on, they got more detailed… More incredible. Spies were named. All we had to do was _think_ about attacking a base, and we'd get guard schedules and routes. If we were low on supplies we'd be told where they could be found… Which warehouses to rob. We were told about new developments and research projects and how to destroy them.

"We used to joke that Oracle was a mind-reader. We thought he was a high ranking member of OZ, who secretly supported the Rebels… Supported _us_."

"Nah!" Buck grinned, "Just an ornery little kid, who was too nosy for his own good."

"I always was a good hacker." JD laughed, "And my mother was a cleaner… For high ranking members of Romafeller. I know computers. I slipped a small bug in… My own design. Using that… And the rumours on the street. You guys weren't as discrete as you think."

That caused Sally to bristle. The implied insult. But she couldn't bring herself to attack this… Oracle. Someone she had revered.

"Just messing with ya," JD smirked, "I knew a few guys who were Rebels. They lived next door. They didn't keep too quiet. I slipped a program into their computer and it linked me up with all the other Rebel computers. You probably never even saw it. Technology is my thing. And Duo told me to steer clear of the Gundams. Told me that they'd probably see me as a leak. I was to stay unseen. Hidden in the shadows… If I was going to do anything at all."

"You chose to?" I blinked. Duo had looked out for this… person. Had kept him away from us, because we wouldn't have understood. I, for one, would have probably killed him with no regrets.

Only Duo hadn't.

"I wanted to fight." JD shrugged, "Duo told me not to be foolish. I was too young. And my mother would grieve. Duo even said he was too young. But there would be no one to grieve for him. So why shouldn't he fight? But me? I shouldn't fight. Not then. But I could still help. Do things behind the scenes. He named me Oracle as my Trucker Handle. Seemed a good idea to make it work double time. The thing about Truckers is that until you meet face to face, you don't know what anyone looks like… Or even their real names. I was safe. No matter what."

Why had Duo cared so much? Why did he care so much?

"And so today," JD looked at each of us, "I stand by my friend. I will not allow him to believe that I did not care for him. That I did not look for him. I go to the Meet. And you will go too… I think you will learn something."

JD turned and headed towards Josiah's car. Five of the others followed him. Ezra hung back for a moment.

"It has been gratifying conversing with you once again, Mister Winner," Ezra smiled, "I bid you adieu."

Then he gave that strange salute of his, and went to catch up with the others. Doctor Mallard and Abigail also vanished to their vehicles.

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The drive was quiet at first. Quatre was skimming through the information on a data-pad Rashid had presented him with.

I was attacking my laptop with fury, trying to gather some data… Trying to make sense of all the nonsense around me.

It was as if I was once again in the War. Trying to comprehend the incomprehensible. Trying to see through all the layers of Duo to what lay underneath. I could not understand his motives. I could not understand his reasoning.

I didn't understand Duo at all. I had thought I would have been able to. My ability to understand and express emotion had increased dramatically… But I was still blind.

And only just beginning to understand how much I couldn't see.

"I don't get it!" Quatre exclaimed, "Doctor Mallard is a highly respected Medical Examiner. He's a Smokey! So why do they trust him? Same with Abby!"

"So are the Magnificent Seven." I added, "ATF. Denver branch. Team Seven."

"None of this makes any sense." Sally was exacerbated. "Duo feels that he owes them. And he still puts his life in danger."

"Because of us." Trowa spoke up, "He put himself into danger, because we could take the bullet for him… I don't think we'll ever break him of that habit."

"Ezra…" Quatre murmured, "I don't remember him."

"Should you?" Wufei asked.

"He implied that we had met before." Quatre shrugged, "But I don't remember him."

"And why would Duo trust someone who was practically the son of someone in Romafellar?" Sally queried.

Duo always had been more questions than answers.

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Trowa's POV

The Meet was being held in what appeared to be a large farm. All the vehicles were parked in a semi-orderly manner and the people disembarking quickly. There was a steady stream of people headed towards… _Something_.

"Stick with us." Vin stated, appearing nearby.

"It can be mighty confusing among the congregation here." Josiah agreed, "Especially for the uninitiated. You best stick with those you know. There are some here who don't look too kindly on law-folk."

"Then why do they tolerate you?" Wufei was blunt.

"Why, Mister Chang," Ezra smirked, "We are not your middling Law Enforcement Officers. We are mavericks of the worst caste. If you coalesce that with the fact that each of us were Truckers before we were ATF, then you have your elucidation."

"Trucker is more of a state of mind than a profession." Josiah nodded.

"Just be yourself." Buck grinned, "Don't follow the trend. Be unique. Be different. Ah, hell! Just be you!"

"The problem young Duo has," Josiah sighed, "Is that we are not the Masks we wear, but if we wear them do we not become them?"

"Look, some people have problems with Smokeys," Nathan shrugged, "But most of us don't. Truckers don't _hate_ Policemen or the Law. We just don't respect it all the time."

"We do what is necessary." Larabee announced.

"Think of us like Jerry in those old cartoons," JD chimed in, "Tom, the cat, is the Law. We don't dislike him. But if he comes after us…"

"We'll tease him." Buck finished, "We'll play with him. We'll laugh at him. But that don't mean we hate him. And we won't harm him much."

"It's a game." Josiah put in, "There are some Smokey's here. But they're Truckers as well. It's just that not all Smokey's know about Truckers. Those that do only really mention it, when it's relevant to a case. Sometimes not even then. They just get the information from an 'anonymous' source."

I could see Wufei, Sally and Heero were trying to get their heads around that. And I had to admit… I had thought that Truckers _hated_ the Law. To find out that they simply didn't care was a bit of a shock.

"Where's Duo?" Heero returned to the main point.

"He'll be at the centre." JD stated, "Driven there."

"But…?" Sally frowned.

"Today, he rides." Larabee stopped any protests with his simple statement.

"Who's Fred?" Quatre asked.

"Snowman's dog," Buck laughed, "Basset hound."

Quatre snorted slightly at that.

We made our way through the crowd. The Magnificent Seven staying fairly close, though they, like ourselves, fell into a natural order of walking. Just as we usually have Heero on point, with myself and Wufei as rear-guard, while Quatre and guests are in the centre, they had their own sequence.

Vin took point, with Buck and Larabee covering him. Ezra and JD were more central, while Nathan and Josiah brought up the rear.

What did surprise me slightly, but I don't think it should of, was that the crowd parted in front of us… No, not in front of _us_. In front of _them_. These men were highly respected.

In the centre of the crowd was a flat-bed truck. Arranged on the back were some speakers, a drum-kit, a microphone and two guitars. Also on the back were four men. They were singing. A band, I assumed. Other flat-bed trucks were positioned around, with more musicians on them, but they were quiet just then.

"The good Lord gave us mountains, so we could learn how to climb!"

"Why were you hunting Duo?" Sally turned to Vin, "Since when did he have a bounty on his head?"

"During the War." Vin shrugged, "I wasn't exactly on anyone's side. Just OZ had this huge bounty on his head. Had one on any Pilot's head. Only Duo's was the only face splashed everywhere. He had practically every Bounty Hunter after him."

As one we paled. It had been hard enough with just OZ on our tails… But to be constantly watching your back? Duo had had it tougher than the rest of us.

"Not that he got caught," Vin added, "Too slippery. In the Bounty Hunter community, he's known as 'the one that got away'. I got the closest. And even then it was hard."

"But of course," Ezra smiled, "Mister Maxwell is a most delightful personality. It was during the War that I also made his acquaintance. In a minor drinking establishment, in a back street of a major city. We had both gone there with analogous aspirations in mind, namely solving our financial predicaments. We also both chose identical methodologies of resolving our issues. So it came to be that both of us faced each other in that game of skill, Poker. Several hours later, we came to the conclusion that while neither of us was superior to the other, we had sufficient funds on the table for us to apportion the quantity between us and part company. Though I was much loath to do so, as I had enjoyed his camaraderie. It was then that young Mister Maxwell turned to me and spoke more formally than I have ever heard from him: 'Mister Standish, I have much enjoyed your companionship this night. And while I believe that we must part ways for now, I do hope to encounter you again. I class you among my good acquaintances.'. Since then I have exchanged numerous correspondence with Mister Maxwell. Although like yourselves, I have had no communiqué with him these past seven years."

"I met Duo on the PeaceMillion." Josiah put in, "He was dragged out of the pantry kicking and screaming. You know, even when some of the Sweepers suggested throwing him out the air-lock he didn't seem to care. Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet."

We all frowned slightly at that remark. But the others accepted the comment, as if it were usual… Expected even.

"I met Duo there as well." Nathan snorted, "He'd had a bad training session, and Doctor G wanted him to heal on his own. Learn a lesson or something. Josiah and Howie managed to smuggle me aboard so that I could do what I could. As G didn't know I was an EMT, he didn't try to keep me away."

"The kid came and hid out in Chris' barn," Buck laughed, "Took us nearly three days to figure out why the horses were acting all funny… And how all their feed was being sorted without us doing anything."

"Adam found him," Chris murmured so quietly I almost didn't hear him, "Called him a pixie. Said he was _his_ secret."

"Yeah," Buck breathed, sadness in his voice now, "I remember. He kept on smuggling food out to him. Duo stayed for a week. And then he was gone. He only said goodbye to Adam."

Adam was dead. I knew that. Simply by the grief in their eyes and voices. Though it was confirmed by the way the others moved around them. JD reaching out to lightly place his hand on Buck's arm. And Vin moving closer to Chris. But what I didn't know was who Adam was… And I didn't need to know.

"Ezra," Quatre frowned, "You said we'd met before? I don't remember you. I apologize. But I think you must be mistaken."

"I do not doubt that you have forgotten me," Ezra smiled, "You were only six at the time. Myself barely five years short of a score. As I recall, I educated you in the fine art of poker for about a month."

"Standish!" Quatre gapped after a moment's pause. "Your mother and my father were courting at the time. I never did find out why she left. No one would talk about it."

"Regrettably a common state of affairs wherever my mother was involved." Ezra shrugged, "If I recollect correctly, your father was the third man she had expressed an interest in that year."

That was a confession and a half. Put together with the fact that the same woman had been engaged to a Romafellar officer during the War… And the poker… And it painted a very pretty picture… At least to me. Ezra was a con artist's son.

The music changed. And as it did so, the crowd quietened down. They stopped talking to each other, and started enjoying the music. All concentrating on the band.

"Far; we've been travelling far; without a home; but not without a star."

Slowly a black truck-cab, started to make its way through the crowd. I realized that it was the one that Duo had ridden away in as it neared the make-shift stage. The crowd split in front of it and re-formed behind it; cheering as it passed them.

"Ladies and Germs." Howard stood on the stage, holding a microphone. A cheer met his words.

"Seat covers and Drivers." The Bandit added, just as the cheering died down for a moment.

"Saints and Sinners." The band-leader laughed.

"Welcome one and all." They spoke in unison, "To the Meet!"

A roar met the statement.

"You all know why we're here," Howard smirked, "For a Hero. A Legend. A Myth. Once lost. Now found. Taken from us. And now returned. Mountain Lions tried to bring him down… But they failed. For he is one of us. Politicians tried to control him… But he beat them. For he is a Defender of Anarchy."

"We do as we damn well please!" The crowd yelled in response.

"I present to you," Howard carried on, as Snowman opened the cab door, "The one… The only… Milkybar Kid!"

Duo emerged from the cab, with what appeared to be full saddlebags draped over his shoulder.

"The Milkybar Kid is strong and tough," The chant began, "And only the best is good enough. The creamiest milk. The whitest bar. The great taste that is Milkybar!"

"The Milkybars are on me!" Duo's voice was clear and loud. I suspected that he had a hidden microphone on him. He tossed the saddlebags slightly awkwardly to Howard. The others on the stage and the separate stages each picked up a set of saddlebags and started tossing the contents around.

Instinctively we each caught the items thrown. Only to find a chocolate bar in our grasp. In blue lettering the word 'Milkybar' was clearly visible.

Up on the stage, Duo bit into one and grinned as he ate the single bite.

"Do you have anything to say?" The band leader asked, though I could tell that Howard didn't want this.

"Senzenina." Duo didn't speak, he sang, "Senzenina."

He repeated the word six more times. A tune forming. And while I didn't understand the word, I understood the grief and sadness he was managing to project using only his voice.

As he started the tune again, I heard other voices joining in. Harmonising with our braided friend.

I glanced at Quatre, and could see tears running down his cheeks. Whether from sensing Duo's emotions or simply Duo's tone, I couldn't tell. And I was too scared and awed to ask.

How long the song continued for, I couldn't tell you. It washed over us like a tide… Like a flood. Duo's voice creating variations on the central theme, while everyone else just accompanied him.

It was one of the most awe inspiring and terrifying things I have ever heard. Like a thousand souls weeping.

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Wufei's POV

I didn't understand what was going on. None of us did. But we knew it was important to these people. And more importantly important to Duo.

"What does it mean?" Quatre murmured to our self-appointed guides.

"Senzenina," JD breathed, "It translates to 'What have I done?'."

"Historically," Josiah cut in, "It was used during Apatite in Africa. Used to protest against the division. However in Trucker culture, it is used to apologize for a wrong doing. Usually only the word is used. The song is used for bigger apologies. The length of the song indicating the level of grief. Joining in, is a sign of acceptance."

"Only the soloist is allowed to vary the tune." Nathan added, "It's his song. We are only the accompaniment."

"I've never heard of one that went on that long." Buck muttered.

"He always did have a guilt complex." Ezra sighed.

"He only stopped because his throat got sore." A new voice stated.

"Gibbs." Larabee nodded at the newcomer.

"Larabee." The man nodded in response, "I take it you know our boy too?"

Their boy. They so casually claimed him as theirs. I saw Heero bristle slightly. Quatre and Trowa merely tensed their muscles, as did I.

"He's a friend." Larabee nodded, "You know him through Ducky?"

"Found him in the morgue one day." Gibbs shrugged.

"Scared the bejeezus out of Gerald." Another man laughed, "He's not used to the stiffs sitting up."

"For reasons I do not understand both Duo and Jethro seem to find my tables an acceptable place to sleep." Doctor Mallard sighed, "My assistants have to deal with a great deal of unusual dealings. Why I remember one time…"

I got the feeling that Doctor Mallard was quite prone to going off on tangents, judging by how the others both smiled and redirected the conversation. Gibbs had turned up with Doctor Mallard, Abigail, two men and another woman in tow.

"What happens now?" I asked Tanner.

"Duo's done the main bit," Tanner shrugged, "Now he's just got to put up with everyone who wants to talk with him. You and yours shadow him."

"We'll keep the undesirables away." Larabee finished.

"We are more cognisant of whom Mister Maxwell will be disinclined to have a discourse with." Ezra stated calmly.

"Thank you." Quatre breathed.

"Be careful." Gibbs' unnamed friend leant forward, "We don't know everyone. And I know the kid. He can really get under some people's skins."

"Then he is a lot like you, Tony, no?" The woman spoke up, "A pain in the donkey?"

"Ass, Ziva." Tony sighed, "Pain in the ass. Or butt. Not an animal. And he's not a pain…"

"He's Duo." Gibbs shrugged, "A loud mouthed kid, who thinks with his heart not his head. He understands… He would even understand you, Ziva."

"What does he understand?" The last unnamed man frowned.

"A lot McGeek." Tony retorted, "He understands a lot of what you write about… The stuff you make up, because you don't know it. Because you don't… _Can't_ comprehend it."

The tone of Tony's voice shut McGeek up. Though I doubted that would last forever. I also doubted that McGeek was the man's real name.

Duo turned to face the band, he murmured something, but I couldn't hear him.

"He's thanking them," Heero supplied, "Asking for more music. And saying that if they value their lives they're not to play any of the bad stuff."

Sometimes I really do admire Heero's ability to read lips. I really need to pick it up someday.

We watched as Duo approached the edge of the staging, and looked like he was about to jump down. But Josiah, and don't ask me when he left, was there to help him down instead.

The strange pairing wove their way back through the crowd, to us. Josiah almost herding Duo.

"Duo." Gibbs nodded quickly at Duo.

"Gibbs." Duo laughed slightly, "DiNozzo. The other two yours as well?"

"David and McGee." Gibbs supplied.

"I pity your sanity." Duo seemed almost serious, "Gibbs is a terror. And DiNozzo is a loon."

"Hey!" DiNozzo protested.

"Seriously," Duo stared at him, "You're still with Gibbs? I mean, what does that make it? Eight years?"

"Nine, actually." DiNozzo shrugged.

"Damn," Duo looked impressed, "The guy before you only lasted six. Good on you."

"You are friends?" David frowned.

"Of a sort, yeah." Duo smiled slightly.

Then he yelped, as Gibbs smacked him up the back of the head, in a move very similar to what Abigail had inflicted on Duo earlier.

"I know, I know." Duo sighed, "I should have asked for help."

"I would have come." Gibbs was staring Duo down.

"I know." Duo replied softly, "But I couldn't risk them… I couldn't Gibbs. They're my Shannon… My Kelly… I couldn't risk them."

I heard deep intakes of breaths from Gibbs friends… No, subordinates. Even Doctor Mallard and Abigail were staring at Duo as if he'd just poked a snake. And a poisonous one.

"That was just one man." Gibbs retorted, "You had several. And I was seeking revenge. Not safety. When I needed help… My team stepped up, without me needing to ask. We would have come for you."

Duo didn't acknowledge the remark, instead he turned away from Gibbs.

"Let's get this over with." Duo sighed.

He wove his way through the crowds greeting various people. And shaking hands.

"Abs," DiNozzo muttered, "You gave him a Caff-Pow right?"

"Yeah." Abigail nodded.

"He _seriously_ needs some sleep." DiNozzo stated, "One of your giant sized cups usually has a guy bouncing off the walls for half the day."

I gulped at hearing that. Duo was, once again, running on pure caffeine and adrenaline. Though how, I didn't know.

"Uncle Jesse!" Duo exclaimed upon seeing one old man, "Bo! Luke! Daisy!"

Each of them hugged him, and then started to admonish him. Duo just laughed and tried to dance away.

A white dog nearly tripped him up. But Duo merely bent down and hugged it.

"Snowy!" He grinned, "Tintin?"

"Do I get a quote?" A blond asked, "What's your plan from here on in?"

"I don't know," Duo shrugged, "And I'm not sure I'd tell you, even if I did know."

Duo moved on, after a few more words.

However he didn't get much further, before two hands reached out and spun him around.

Two men, dressed all in black. Brothers, I guessed, by their faces. A pair of rosaries around their necks.

"Connor. Murphy." Duo was more restrained, more controlled, "Have I crossed into your domain? Have the shepherds come for me?"

"In nomine Patris," One muttered, both having laid their hands on Duo's forehead.

"Et Filii," The second added.

"Et Spiritus Sancti. Amen" They recited together. Then they sketched a cross over Duo's head.

"You were used against your fucking will." One stated.

"You ain't our business." The other grinned.

"Surprised you weren't outside the Court House." Duo frowned at them.

"We were _inside_." One smirked, "Just in case."

Duo carried on. Exchanging a few words here and there with various people.

We saw him fall, probably before he realized he was falling… But he never hit the ground.

Heero and I had moved as one. Using the intuitive knowledge of each others intentions, which had made us so successful as a partnership, that we had to catch him.

There wasn't even a discussion about which of us took which side. I pulled his left arm over my shoulders, while Heero took his right. Our thoughts were not on how it would appear to anyone else. We didn't really care. Duo was tired. Duo was beyond exhausted. And he needed us.

Several Truckers formed a wall around us, blocking Duo from sight. I realized that they were those Truckers that Duo was the closest to. The ones who didn't see a Heero when they saw Duo, but instead saw a friend.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

I have thought a great deal about the accusations flying in all directions of plagiarism, regarding this story and its inspiration: "Sunrise, Come Again". I have finally come to a conclusion, which I think is fair for all involved. There is only one chapter left. My intention is to post the chapter within the next seven days. After which I will leave my story up, until some time in mid to late December, whereupon I will remove my story from the internet.

I think this is the best solution. And in my opinion there is only one person who has any right to ask me to leave this story up here, and that is cHixOr Neko.

That being said, I did not intend to plagiarise. Until less than two weeks ago, I had never had their story and mine open at the same time. I cannot explain the close similarity. I did not copy… At least not intentionally. And while I may have a photographic memory… My film is lousy and rarely ever develops.

I started writing this story for two reasons: My own entertainment; and to see if I _could_ write a good story where I switched Narrators nearly every chapter.

I posted it, to receive honest, unbiased and unprejudiced feedback. Something which you have all been very good about providing. Thank you.

Arialee – You're welcome.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – I hope I manage to please you.

Twillightfairy – Gibbs _is_ his own set of rules.

Wind Dancer1981 – Don't worry.

Anonymous Void – Sorry, Muse ran off to another fandom. Hence the deviation. I do hope I'm back on track now. Thanks for reminding me of what the point of the story was.

PurpleLeopard – I don't have an upper limit for my chapters. But I like to try to make sure that each chapter is three pages long, before review responses.

Milliefluff – Will do!

Chibi Heishi – You're welcome.

Kage Elric – It's easy to fall if you're on a pedestal. Most of the Truckers just can't see that Duo has feet of clay.

Whitetiger1589 – You're welcome. Hope this explained some stuff to you.

Ri – Yes, I did. *Grins*

Solitaire – I like that song. And you're welcome for the story.

Lilly – Hope this lived up to expectations.

Pattyard – Thank you for the compliments.

Peaceful Angel – Thanks for the review.

StarLight Pixie – To be honest I hadn't really thought about acknowledging where I was inspired. But I hadn't intended to hide it either. When people remarked that it seemed similar, I did point them in the right direction. I guess you could just say I was stupid and forgetful. But thanks for your comments and your honesty. That is why I posted this story. And I apologize for the quote robbing. My Muse ran off to play in another fandom. And didn't want to come home.

Debbie – Glad you liked it.

Anonymous Reader – Actually, although I hadn't credited 'Sunrise Come Again' directly, I had remarked that it had inspired me, in several review responses. I thank you for your comments. I asked for honest critism, so thank you for supplying it.

Bunch-o-Nuts – "I Get Knocked Down (Tubthumping)" by Chumbawamba is what you're looking for. Nice to know you enjoyed it.

Kay – Thanks for the comments. Glad you see that some people can see what I try and put in here.

Kisa Lynx – Yes, you sort of have the right show. You're thinking of the Movie, I referenced the TV series. Nice to hear that you liked it.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


	47. Chapter 47

Disclaimer – If you recognise it… I don't own it.

This story was inspired and the first few chapters heavily influenced by cHixOr Neko's work, titled "Sunrise, Come Again"

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Heero's POV

At first Duo tried to fight us. Desperate to stand on his own feet. But considering that his feet couldn't reach the ground due to the height difference between the three of us.

"Stop it!" Duo hissed, "You can't do this."

"Relax." Quatre murmured quietly, "No one who would care can see."

"You can either surrender, or we knock you out." Trowa added, "We won't let any harm come to you. By others _or_ yourself. And you have been hurting yourself."

We bundled Duo into Quatre's limo. All the while surrounded by an almost silent guard. It was slightly unnerving. Especially considering the number of weapons I had spotted on them, but knowing that I would not be able to draw quickly enough, while helping Duo.

Abdul started to drive away, the moment the door shut. We sat in silence for a few moments, just watching Duo.

Duo had claimed a seat, and was leaning backwards. His head resting against the side of the limousine. His eyes closed, although they were directed at the ceiling.

After a few moments, he shifted his legs. Pulling his right leg up to his chest, while tucking his left ankle behind his right one. His left leg was flat on the seat. Then his head almost fell forward to rest his forehead on his right knee.

His hands… His injured and hurting hands were left to fall haphazardly between his legs.

Although I had seen a great deal of Duo so still and so quiet recently, it was still strange to me. But this time it gave me a bizarre feeling of peace, instead of the usual fear.

I suppose it was because Duo was _finally_ safe. He was _finally_ free. He could do as he willed. Go where he wished. And while there was a tiny part of me that feared that he would leave us… I knew that I would rather he were safe and free and away from us, if he were happy, than chained and sad.

Strangely Josiah had been right. If you love something… Let it go. His happiness was more important than mine. And thus I realized that I had found the one thing that had kept Duo going for those long seven years.

Someone else's happiness mattered more than anything else in the world… In the entire Sphere.

None of us really dared to speak. We were waiting for Duo.

But it didn't seem like he had any strength left to speak.

"Stop the car." Duo's voice eventually broke the silence. He was barely whispering, but we could all hear him clearly. He had neither opened his eyes, nor lifted his head.

"Abdul, keep on driving." Quatre countered the order, before the car even slowed down slightly.

I jerked to look at Quatre… But the look in his eyes kept me from protesting. Quatre was smiling, but his eyes were filled with tears.

"Stop the car." Duo repeated again. This time he raised his head and opened his eyes. But he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were fixed on the one person who was figuratively standing in his way… Quatre.

"Abdul," Quatre countered once again, "We're going home."

"Stop the car, please." Duo's eyes were desperate, but his face was unnaturally blank. Like mine and Trowa's Masks during the War. "I need you to stop the car. Please, Cat. Please."

"No, Duo." Quatre moved to kneel in front of Duo, trusting Abdul's driving. Quatre pulled both of Duo's hands into his own. "Not this time. It's not what you need."

"I need to get out the car." Duo had locked eyes with Quatre.

"Why?" Trowa moved to sit next to Duo. He gently reached out and turned Duo's head to face him, "Why do you think you need to get out the car?"

"I can't hold the Mask any longer." Exhaustion had robbed Duo of any ability to skirt around the truth. "I need time to fix it."

"Why can't you let it fall?" Wufei asked. I didn't dare ask.

"Because I don't want you to see what's underneath." Duo replied.

"Why not?" I finally dared to speak.

"Because you'll see how weak I am." Duo breathed, "Cat, Fei, Tro, Hee, why are you doing this to me? Why are you trying to break me?"

"Because you need to heal, Duo." Quatre whispered, brushing away Duo's bangs from his face.

"Then leave me alone." Duo almost sobbed.

"That's not what you need, little brother." Trowa wrapped an arm around Duo's shoulders.

"I need you to leave me alone." Duo begged. I stayed silent, knowing that I wouldn't be able to resist letting him do as he wished. I did not have the strength of the others.

"No," Trowa smiled, "That's what you want. Not what you need."

"When you break a bone," Quatre wasn't pulling Duo into a hug, but I could tell that he wanted to, "And it heals wrong. You have to re-break the bone and set it properly to fix it."

"But I didn't break!" Duo protested, "I bent but I didn't break!"

"You did crack." Trowa countered, "Small cracks… But they all healed wrong. And because there's so many, there's only one way to fix the problem."

"You need to cry." Quatre whispered, "You need to grieve."

"I've fucking _cried_!" Duo whimpered, "I've grieved. I've mourned. What more do you want from me? Just leave me be! Please. I need to be alone."

"You've cried for those you killed," Quatre started, "You've cried for those you hurt. You've cried for those you harmed. You've cried for those you affected… But there's one person you haven't cried for yet."

"I've cried for _everyone_!" Duo fired back, "I could cry an ocean and it wouldn't make any difference. Tears don't help!"

"But the mindset does." Quatre countered, "And there is one person you haven't cried for. His name is Duo Maxwell."

"I'm not allowed to cry for myself." Duo murmured, "I'm not allowed. Tears for yourself only get your face wet, kid. You have to stand up and look after yourself.. 'Cause no one else will, kid. Never let them get to you. And there's always a price for everything… If something is free, it just means you can't see the price."

I wondered who had told Duo that. I wondered who had drilled it into his head… Then I realized it was probably the 'Solo' Duo had mentioned.

"What are you so scared of?" Quatre pressed gently. But I knew that he would not be deterred until he got an answer.

"That you'll see how weak I am." Duo stated once again, "That you'll see how much _less_ I am than you."

"Weak?" Trowa laughed. The sound was loud in the almost silent limo. Wufei, Sally and I had not dared to speak, as our blond brother and our green-eyed brother tore away Duo's defences gently, but firmly.

"That is the _last_ thing I would call you." Trowa carried on, "You spent seven years on your own. Doing things that you hated doing. Hiding from everyone and everything. But you _survived_. You bent. But you didn't break.

"You kept going. You knelt. And you served.

"Yet you still managed to fight back. Little things. Diverting money to a widow. Leaving innocents unharmed… Leaving me alive… Letting me tell Quatre.

"Then you decided you'd had enough. You got mad. You got strong. And you stood up. You got back in the race.

"I would never call you weak." Trowa continued, "Strong?… Yes. Determined?… Of course. Protective?… Always. You are strong. You are caring. You are determined. You are the greatest of us. Not the least. You are what we try to be.

"No one here will judge you. We're here to look after you. It's our turn now."

"You can cry." Quatre mimicked the action I had seen Tanner use on Duo earlier. Only Quatre left his hand on the back of Duo's neck.

Trowa caught mine and Wufei's eyes. We understood the message.

As one we moved closer to Duo.

"It's alright." Quatre stood up, and leant forward, so that his forehead touched Duo's, "You're safe. You're loved. You're free. And now you will heal."

Then Duo cried.

We pulled him into a group hug, and let him cry and sob.

We caught each others eyes, over his head. Duo could heal now. We were over the first hurdle.

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Quatre's POV

It's been one year, two months and nine days since the last day of the trial. There have been good days… And bad days.

Sally got Duo's hands fixed less than a week after the trial. But it took two months for the physical therapy to really start showing improvements in his dexterity. And it took three months before Duo would willingly come out of his room on his own.

Most of that time, I got Duo out of his room, by refusing to let anyone take food to Duo's room. I put that into place two weeks after the surgery. I wasn't going to let my best friend retreat into a shell of himself.

And yes, there have been days where Duo has yelled and cursed at me. But those days are fewer now. He usually comes and apologizes afterwards. There are other days when Duo doesn't talk to anyone. Then there are the days when he is cheerful and happy, but we can tell it is a lie.

But among all of that… In all the hardships and the trials there are the days where Duo is truly happy. When he is himself… The man behind the Mask.

In some ways I think that Meilan and Helen Chang have helped Duo heal more than any of us. Those are Wufei and Sally's twin girls.

They don't have any expectations of Duo. They don't have any prejudices. They don't care about the past. They only care about right here and right now.

I probably should have expected Duo to be good with children. But I hadn't.

We didn't even realize until one night when Wufei and Sally were so tired that they'd fallen asleep on my sofa… The girls didn't cry all night. When Wufei went to get them up for breakfast, he found Duo asleep in the rocking chair, both girls in his lap.

Those girls adore Duo. They can barely talk. And rarely make sense. But they light up when Duo walks into a room.

Wufei was shocked and partially appalled when Helen's first word was Duo. Though Meilan made up for it with Daddy… However considering that she called Duo that, I don't think he was too impressed.

It was after that that Duo slipped away one night. We panicked and worried, and were about to start looking when Doctor Mallard… _Ducky_ phoned. Duo had gone to visit him. Apparently to play chess.

But we knew the real reason. Duo was scared that we would hate him.

He does that now. If Duo thinks we're mad at him… He just disappears. Finds one of the Truckers to hide with for a day or two. They always call us. Or rather… They put it out on the chatter and Howard or one of the others who knows our numbers calls us.

All we can do is send Duo e-mails and leave messages on his answering machine.

He never replies to them. He just turns back up in his room.

He's never stayed with the same person twice in a row… In fact I don't think he's stayed with the same person twice yet at _all_.

But the running is getting less and less. He stays more often than he goes… At least without warning.

Sometimes he'll just walk up and tell us he's got to go visit someone. And then he goes.

Sometimes he invites us to go as well. But he's always hesitant about that. As if he's scared of being rejected… Or laughed at.

It seems strange, but the one we thought was the most emotionally _stable_ out of all of us now needs us the most.

He's healing. He's not there yet. And I doubt he will ever be. Too much happened to him. He saw too much. He did too much. Trowa says that Duo has at least a mild case of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I'm not sure that he's not right.

But we cope. We can't exactly get a psychologist to deal with Duo's problems. Some of those we did approach were advising severe medication and institutionalization. One even suggested electro-shock therapy.

We weren't going to let someone who didn't understand Duo fully to get close to him… Not if they could betray him… Not if they could hurt him.

And… Some people would try to hurt him because he was a Gundam… And he would have to tell them, because it was part of what made him Duo.

So we do the best we can. We listen. We try to get him to talk. And we try not to judge.

Sally's really good at it. I guess she's seen a lot of PTSD before.

We do what we can. And Duo's alright. He can interact with society. He doesn't shy away from going outside anymore. Which he did for a while. He would leave his room, but not the house.

Then there was the time when he refused to come back _in_ the house. Took me three days to realize that he was actually slipping in and grabbing food from the kitchen when no one was looking.

Sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with a child… Then I realize that that's what Duo _wants_ us to think. Somewhere deep inside his mind, he _wants_ us to look down on him… Because if you're beneath notice… You're not noticed.

He's trying to hide, and we won't let him.

And he's getting better. He'll never be normal. But then he never was. And neither were we. And we still aren't.

I think Duo's starting to realize that.

He's writing a book. The others don't know. He only told me, because he wanted to know if I would proof-read it for him. It's going to be an autobiography. But he's disguising it as a children's story. I told him that his life would be too much for a child to understand.

"I understood it." Duo had replied, "And maybe… Just maybe my story can stop anyone else seeking War. If it stops one person… Then it's worth it."

I can see him at the moment. He's lying on the floor playing with Helen and Meilan. Wufei and Sally smiling as they watch them. Trowa's laid out, full length on the sofa. I know he's not asleep… But he's pretending he is.

Heero is watching Duo. He does that a lot. We all did, at first.

I don't know if Heero will ever approach Duo with his feelings. I don't know if Duo will ever reciprocate them.

I know that Heero loves Duo. And that Duo loves Heero, though I'm not sure that it's the same way… The same _sort_ of love.

But that's for the future.

And we all have one now… As a family.

The lost brother came home. We were made complete.

Where we go from here, we don't know. But we'll go together.

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Reviews are my candy. I go on a writing spree with each one. Trying to earn them.

Constructive criticism encouraged.

Okay, I get the hint. A lot of people don't want me to take this story down. cHixOr Neko told me that it was my decision to do what I want. So I am posting a Poll on my profile page. What is your opinion? (I may decide to go against the final decision)

Please note, even if I do eventually decide to take the story down, I give permission for anyone to download it onto their hard-drives… And if you don't manage to download it before I remove it, you can contact me for one month afterwards, so that I can try and send you a copy. However you will have to Private Message me with an e-mail address.

Wind dancer1981 – I don't know. Depends on what I was listening to at the time.

BlackRose-FlowerofDeath – I had to. The Saints appealed to me.

AmePiper – I'm glad you like it. And don't worry about not reviewing before. Some people don't review at all. I'm fine with that.

Arialee – You're welcome.

PurpleLeopard – 'Feet of Clay', it's an old saying. Comes from the Bible originally. Basically it means someone much admired and respected, who has a fatal flaw.

Twillightfairy – You can download it if you want.

Illusion-Factory – I had to. I finally found the 'Boondock Saint'. I like it. Now need to find/watch the sequel. (Also have plans for a separate fanfic with the 'Boondock Saints').

Milliefluff – Thank you.

Whitetiger1589 – Hope you liked the ride. And I wasn't sure about the NCIS guys. I think they need a little more work.

dkAdeena – I have a few stories in my head to get out. But that may take a while, as I like to have a good few chapters sorted before I start to post.

Solitaire – I have stories to get out. And hope to have a new one up soonish… Like next year. And that just sounds scary.

Peaceful Angel – Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.

Seithr-Kairy – Nice to hear from you again. I was starting to worry that you'd gotten lost. Anyway, I am working on the SG1GW sequel. Only I'm having a little trouble with the first few chapters. I know where the plot _needs_ to go. I just can't get it there.

Chibi Heishi – The brothers are the 'Boondock Saints'. They were described to me as two fun loving Irish boys, who believe they have a calling from God to destroy evil wherever they find it. In my mind, Duo met them during the War, and while he doesn't condone what they do. He understands why.

Bunch-o-Nuts – Well, here it is. And yes, I did what I set out to do. I have another story in the works, with the same writing style planned. I just don't know when it'll start.

Danni – Thanks for the criticism. You're right. The problem was that my muse ran away to another set of fandoms, and wrote that section and I couldn't work out how to get rid of it. I don't use a Beta. I don't really like someone I don't have a close friendship with seeing my work before I post. So I'm sorry if I disappointed you. In the future I'm planning on working harder to keep extra characters under control.

Zuzanny – Damn! I didn't even think about "Due South" *Wanders off to try and find some 'Due South' DVDs* I loved that show. And the two priests? They're not priests. They're the 'Boondock Saints'. Two highly Catholic boys. Find the film. It's a good one, even if they do swear a lot.

Once again, thanks to all my reviewers.


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